Worlds Collide | By : TheBatcave Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 766 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter 17: Powerless
It had been five days and thirty-seven dead soldiers since the... 'incident'... occurred. Gohan avoided the word that described it more accurately. No matter how much he fought and killed, he didn't feel better. His anger wasn't directed at them, it was at both himself and the one that encouraged it. The one he'd been avoiding eye contact with ever since, that he'd barely spoken to.
Soldier number thirty-eight was dead after just two hits. Gohan wasn't too surprised by this, he was in his super saiyan form after all. He was using it as some kind of shield. Cell wouldn't touch him in this form. He couldn't tolerate those ice green eyes staring at him, no matter what they'd happen to be doing.
"Feel any less angry yet?" said Cell, watching him power back down to his original state.
"No."
Cell followed him around the outskirts of West City, watching him kick a few doors open before he entered a house at the end of the street. The android observed him as he made his way through an extensive amount of food. Gohan needed to replenish his energy levels, but he was only just managing to keep it all down, he'd been resisting the urge to throw up ever since he accidentally killed that man. The only thing stopping him was his own motivation not to look vulnerable or weak. He was burying his human half down, giving into his more violent saiyan tendencies to release his rage.
"Seems there aren't any humans left in this area."
Gohan didn't want Cell to speak to him. Surely the fact that Gohan had hardly said a word to him would've given him some sort of message.
"Come on, lets find something stronger to hit."
The hand that placed itself onto Gohan's shoulder was enough to make him snap; Cell was on the floor half a second later.
"Don't touch me!"
"Well, that's the most I've gotten out of you in the past five days," said Cell with a laugh, wiping the blood from his face. He wasn't bothered by it, he could regenerate a broken nose within a few minutes. Gohan seethed a little at that; his bruises from Cell's latest attack were only just fading. "There are less painful ways to let out your frustration. You know this more than most."
"As if you'd fucking understand," he snapped. "Killing is second nature to you."
"In case you hadn't noticed, you're a saiyan. It's second nature to you too," said Cell as he stood up again. "You know what I think? Everything you're going through now is just you finally revealing your true self. This is what you were always meant to be."
Gohan's stomach finally twisted up into knots, and he found himself running up the stairs, finding the bathroom just in time; he violently vomited into the toilet. Cell followed him, finding him slumped over the basin, retching up all the food he'd consumed earlier.
Gohan shakily stood up, flushing the toilet. He moved over the the sink and rinsed his mouth and his face. Luckily he hadn't got any in his hair. Together with the vomiting, trembling and anxiety, Cell thought he knew what the problem was.
"Are you withdrawing again?"
"Huh?" mumbled Gohan, not really paying attention.
"The drug. Do you need some more?"
"Maybe."
Gohan just agreed with him. The android clearly didn't think that murdering a human being would affect him in this way. Murder... there was that word he was avoiding and making excuses for. There was no hiding from it. Gohan almost hit the ceiling when Cell grabbed hold of his arm, visibly just flinching. He was sweating, but mostly out of dread. He wanted to be sick again, but there was nothing left in his stomach.
Gohan blinked and they were outside the warehouse where his former companions were. He couldn't sense Frieza, so assumed he was out looking for them. He remained silent and heard Cell say something about stealing some supplies to ween him off the drug properly - and also keep his power completely suppressed so that Frieza wouldn't know they were there. He had the familiar feeling of melancholy in his chest. He was lost. There was nobody. He couldn't find comfort in Cell right now because he couldn't bear being touched.
There was only one person he could possibly think of right now to share an inkling of his turmoil with. He was inside. He needed to see Jeice. And now he could. The only thing stopping him was the excessive amount of guilt resting on his shoulders.
Gohan wanted his feet to move. The door at the back of the warehouse was in front of him. He knew Jeice was inside. Everything was pretty much laid out in front of him; he now had the opportunity to talk to somebody. That was all he wanted to do. But why was it so hard to walk into a building and have a conversation? The overwhelming guilt of his betrayal probably had something to do with it. The worst thing about his friends and family was that no matter what he'd done, they would still love him and forgive him - but he wanted them to hate him instead.
Ten minutes later, he made it inside, but he hadn't seen anybody yet. He was hoping not to be seen by anyone other than Jeice. He just needed to get something off his chest. It was the only thing that would stop him from finally going insane.
"Gohan, is that you?"
Gohan mentally cursed when the voice he heard didn't belong to Jeice. He was seen by someone else, but at least he was alone. He turned around to find Krillin, startled at his sudden appearance.
"Hey..." said Gohan blankly.
"Are you okay? What are you doing here?"
Krillin had so many other questions to ask his young friend. Like where Cell was. And questions about their relationship.
"Do you know where Jeice is?"
Krillin was instantly worried by the tone of Gohan's voice. It had a bitterness to it.
"He's gone to get food. Turns out him and Burter have managed to make up." Gohan's eyes widened.
"Burter? What... "
"You haven't heard, huh?" said Krillin, approaching him slowly, as if he was a deer he was trying not to scare off. "Burter, Recoome and Guldo came looking for Jeice a couple of days back. They've defected from Frieza's army and joined our side. They're laying low so that Frieza won't find them and sedate them too. Why do you need to see Jeice?"
"It doesn't matter... I've gotta go," said Gohan; his disappointment was obvious, as was his surprise at this latest turn of events.
"We know that Frieza's after you, so you wouldn't have risked coming here if it didn't matter, Gohan. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Gohan, I know you. I know when you're hiding something."
"Do you? I don't even know myself anymore."
"Gohan..."
"Tell him I stopped by."
Gohan turned to leave, not hearing Krillin run after him. He felt a hand grab onto his lower arm to stop him from going, only to be haunted by the memories of the fight again. He snatched his arm back, visibly frightened.
"Gohan, what's wrong?" asked Krillin for a second time. Gohan remained silent until he couldn't take it anymore, he finally let it out.
"I'm in trouble."
Gohan sat on Krillin's capsule bed in a small room in the warehouse, Krillin next to him. Gohan fidgeted with his hands as the silence between them was getting to him.
"Gohan, what happened to you?"
Gohan was about to open his mouth when Jeice walked into the room.
"Kid, I thought I saw you outside."
"What happened to your hair?" blurted Gohan, taken aback by the disappearance of Jeice's white mane.
"Oh, it was sort of a 'new me' thing," he laughed nervously. His hair was above his shoulders, but still prominent as it hung over his face in thick white bangs.
"Gohan said that he was in trouble," said Krillin, wanting to stay on track.
Jeice's heart sank to his stomach. He knew that Gohan wouldn't have come here if it wasn't serious.
"Where's Cell?" he asked bluntly as he sat on the bed with them.
"Around," he shrugged. The mere mention of the android's name made Krillin shudder as he was reminded of what he'd found out only days earlier.
"What's wrong?" asked Krillin yet again. Gohan began to tremble and fidget with his hands.
"I just need to tell somebody... "
"Tell us, it's okay."
"I... I killed someone," he said shakily.
"You mean... a human being?" asked Jeice. Gohan nodded his head, though he didn't cry. He couldn't for some reason, he just felt as numb as ever.
"I didn't mean to... he came out of nowhere and I just... "
"Well if you didn't mean to, then it was an accident. I hate to say it, but people die when there's a war on. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself, but I can't seem to move past it. I just keep seeing his lying there. I can't eat or sleep without... "
"Gohan, that's a completely natural reaction, your body just shut down," said Krillin,, trying not to sound too phased about what he just heard. "If anything, it shows remorse. It shows you're a good person."
As much as Gohan appreciated the sentiment, he didn't believe him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come back here."
Gohan stood up to leave. A voice in his head, that sounded more like Cell's than his own, was telling him to stop being so weak. But he felt better now that he'd told somebody.
"You can't go! What about your parents? They're worried sick about you!"
"What?!" He turned even paler at the thought of seeing his family again. "No, I can't."
"Do you really think that's such a good idea?" asked Jeice. Gohan wondered why Jeice was agreeing with him on this. Something didn't add up. Jeice got onto his feet to tell him face to face. "Look, um, just a heads up... everyone knows. About you and Cell."
The look on Gohan's face only confirmed Krillin's worst fears - it was true. Every bone in his body wanted to believe that Frieza was lying.
"Great, how the hell am I supposed to face my family now?"
"Depends, really. Are you still sleeping with him?" Jeice observed as Gohan rolled his eyes, not really wanting to answer, but that in itself gave him away.
"What?! Are you serious?!" cried Krillin as he jumped up to stand,
"Krillin!" Jeice pushed his back down to sit on the bed. "Not the time!"
"I can't be here... "
"Gohan, your parents are scared. At least show your face. It might bring them a little comfort if anything."
"I'm not sure."
"Please, Gohan. For your mother especially. She could use some good news," said Krillin, who had finally composed himself.
Jeice sneaked him around the back, avoiding anyone else that might have been around. It was the middle of the night after all, everyone was in their allocated rooms. He stealthily led him to his parents' room.
"You ready?"
"No," sighed Gohan.
Jeice quietly knocked on the door.
"Come in!"
That was his mother's voice. Jeice popped his head around the door.
"I've got someone to see you."
Gohan stepped into the room. He briefly saw his mother's face right in front of his... well, a little lower; he was taller than her. The next thing he knew, he was in her arms - she was squeezing the life out of him.
"Oh thank goodness, you're okay!" she sobbed, holding him tight to herself, but something was in between them, she was stretching her arms out more than she usually did. After pulling back, he looked down to see her large, rounded stomach.
"Mom, what - "
"Oh, this! It wasn't planned. To bring a new life into this world that we're in right now. But its given me and your father hope that you'd come home to us."
He couldn't get his head around it. He hadn't realised how long he'd been away.
"How far are you?" he asked. He couldn't tell whether he was happy or not.
"30 weeks."
Gohan figured that it would have happened during the weeks they were held prisoner underground before Cell took him away. He felt immensely guilty for not being around. He became distant from his family long before the world ended; he started rebelling at twelve. His parents felt like familiar strangers.
"I didn't realise how long I was gone."
"6 months and 7 days."
"Oh... that long, huh?" he answered with a slight smile. He was in a daze; after months of confinement and isolation, he was back with his mother.
"Your father's on his way back up. Goten is sleeping in Trunks' room tonight, thought we'd give them a treat in the form of a mini sleepover," she chirped, trying to make conversation. "My goodness, you're so tall!"
"Yeah," indulged Gohan, his lips curling up into a small smile.
"Gohan?!"
Goku was stood in the doorway. Then he was in his father's arms, though he didn't squeeze him nearly as hard as his mother did.
"I'm so glad you're okay! It's been so long without knowing!"
"It's not true what they're saying is it?" Chi Chi asked abruptly. Gohan's heart skipped a beat. His two worlds were crashing together, something he was dreading and prayed wouldn't have to happen.
"Chi Chi... " reasoned Goku, but she had to know.
"They're saying that you and Cell are... involved," she said carefully, not bringing herself to say the actual words. Gohan's face fell, they could sense him growing even more distant from them. "Why aren't you denying it?"
"Now's not the time, Chi Chi... "
"I'm sorry... " said Gohan, his voice barely audible. But the absolute shame coming from it was.
"No, I don't believe you... you wouldn't do that... " she sobbed.
"I shouldn't be here," said Gohan, choosing to run. He left the room as quickly as he could, not having the mental capacity to hear his mother's weeping or judgement. And as for Goku... the less said the better as far as Gohan was concerned.
He managed to get out of the living quarters and into the dining area without anyone seeing. There, he saw Jeice sat at one of the tables waiting for him.
"How did it go?" he asked, finishing off a can of soda.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What?"
"That my mom's pregnant!" The heightened volume of Gohan's voice even startled Jeice, he was used to him being quiet.
"Oh crap... you didn't know," he realised. "To be fair she was about four months gone before she found out herself."
"How did she even get pregnant? My dad's still dead... " Gohan slumped down into the chair next to him.
"Life and death don't apply anymore with the afterlife merging with us. Hell, I'm as good as alive," laughed Jeice.
"She asked about Cell."
"And?"
"I don't know... she cried. I don't think she believes me."
"I don't think anyone wants to. I wouldn't have if I hadn't seen it."
"What am I doing here?" sighed Gohan, his head falling into his hands as mental exhaustion took him over.
"We need you, kid. Now more than ever."
"You don't need me," said Gohan, shaking his head as he raise it again.
"We're powerless. And not putting down my comrades in any way, but they haven't got a brain between them. We need a plan, and we need someone who still has their strength."
Gohan contemplated the idea, then saw Jeice's expression turn sour. As he turned around, he saw Cell walk in, closing the door behind him.
"What do you want?" he asked bitterly.
"Hi, Jeice," said Cell with an infuriating fake smile. "Where did that ridiculous hair go?"
"Did you find it?" Gohan felt himself begin to tire even more. Maybe he was still withdrawing after all. Cell slid a small syringe across the table to him; it didn't have much in it.
"What are you doing with that?"
"Weening myself. Your body gets addicted to it."
Gohan took the syringe and administered it himself, barely feeling it as it went in. It seemed to have a calming affect on him, but was convinced it was more of a psychological calm.
"We'd better be going," said the android.
"Yeah," replied Gohan, going to stand until Jeice stopped him by placing his hand on his shoulder.
"Wait, you can't! We need you!"
"What help could I possibly be to you?"
Jeice couldn't believe how much Gohan was lacking in self esteem at that moment; he figured that it was all Cell's doing.
"Jeeeeiiiice!"
Burter, Recoome and Guldo came crashing in, each of them carrying supplies, such as food, clothing, toiletries and first aid equipment. Gohan noticed that the Ginyu force symbols on their armour had black crosses over them to signify their abscondment.
"Hey, it's Cell!" exclaimed Recoome. "And Gohan! Hey, is it really true? Frieza said that you guys were banging each other!" he joked.
Gohan averted his eyes as he began to feel awkward, though Cell didn't seem phased in the slightest; Gohan had observed that the android had no need for insecurities such as these.
"Come on, we need you to stay!" pleaded Jeice once more.
"Yeah, we could use all the help we can get!" said Guldo.
"Help with what exactly?" questioned Cell, curious as to know what was going on.
"Well, the first step is getting out of this place. Frieza's keeping us in here. Any of us tries to escape then they get disintegrated, or someone close to them does. There's guards camped outside every entrance."
Gohan's eyes widened; he was suddenly made very aware of how lucky he was to get inside so easily, he wasn't aware of any guards, or the fact that one of his family could have suffered for it.
"We made our own door around the back," said Burter. "Get's us in and out undetected. We can't raise our powers until we're out of range."
"Basically the plan is to get out of here asap, let our powers come back, then find a way to get rid of Frieza."
"Frieza's easily dealt with," said Cell.
"You don't understand... " said Jeice. "He's found something to fuel his energy. He's a million times stronger than he was before."
"What?! How?" Gohan didn't realise just how dire the situation was. Even Cell was beginning to doubt if he could overpower him.
"We don't know yet, which is why we need to move. But we're getting nowhere. We need more ammo, and well... you're the best out there right now."
"I thought you would have joined Frieza, Cell," said Guldo.
"Please..." drawled Cell. "If I wanted to take over the world I wouldn't need that spoiled little brat to do it."
"Well, it's not like we have anything better to do," shrugged Gohan as he looked at Cell.
"That's true. Picking off Frieza's soldiers is getting quite dull. It would be useful to know what's been going on around here."
"So that's a yes?" asked Jeice hopefully.
"Looks like it," answered Gohan with a small smile.
"Yes!" Jeice punched the air cheerfully as his negotiations proved successful.
"So what's next?"
"Well first thing in the morning we let everyone know that you guys are on board."
Gohan was thankful that he was with Jeice again, but was dreading what tomorrow would bring as he finally faces his family and friends again with his darkest secret out in the open... and right there next to him.
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