Group Therapy

C.      
12.0pt'>And this is AU. And it’s all
about humor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

Vegeta
watched the way Trunks dealt with his pregnancy. Watched him as he ate the weird (way too sweet for his tastes)
food and gain weight, and yet, he never once opened his mouth and bitched at
Goten. If it had been Vegeta in that
situation, he would have torn his mate’s head off and forbidden him from even
thinking about sex for the next couple of decades. More and more it seemed that Goten was off training Presta how to
fight. (And Gokd trd tried to do that
very same thing (leaving to train someone) once or twice over the years, but
instantly thought better of the idea when Vegeta informed him that it was not
possible if his mate wanted to continue with his ability to have sex.)

But
Trunks was completely rationale. Three
and a half months pregnant and completely rational. Disturbingly rational.
Normal, almost.

Gina
agreed with him. “Ye>“Yeah, Mummy, I do
find it a bit strange. Maybe Goten’s
drugging him or something.”

Not
that Vegeta really believed that. (Not
that Bulma would come within twenty foot of them, and thus they had no way of
finding out if there drugs involved with Trunks’ disturbingly natural
acceptance to being pregnant.) But he
did wonder what it was that allowed his son to get away with being gone most of
the day, training a child that would one day be as powerful (if not more
powerful) than her grandparents. (Of
course, Vegeta thought this, but Goten pointed out that just because she was
born powerful did not mean that she would necessarily grow more powerful.)

When
it really got to bugging him, just how very quiet and neutral Trunks was, he
grabbed his oldest son and pointed him in the pregnant one’s general direction
with the imperative of ‘Go find out what your brother did to his mate.’ And while Vegeta had gone to investigate
whether or not his brother was drugging his mate, he had given his mother a
weird look.

Whatever. It was just unnatural. He was afraid he’d walk into the kitchen one
of these days and find Trunks sporting an apron and a wooden spoon making
dinner for his dear ‘matey-poo’ that had to work all day. That thought was unnerving (funny, but
unnerving.)

However,
when his son returned to him, he just shrugged.yes"> She curled up again, grabbed his wrist and tried to twist so she
could bite his hand.

“Oh.”

Goten
rolled his eyes, shook her a little, made her fall again, and then turned to
his brother. “You know what?” he said
“It has been a long time since last we saw our dear, dear brother. I think we should go pay him a little…visit.”

Presta
used her tail to wrap around his wrist, kicked him in the side and when he
released her ankle, she swung on his arm by her tail. Victorious after only two hours.
“What brother?”

Vegeta
grinned. “It has been a long
time.”

~~~***

“Hey
Trunks,” his mate said to him, walking into the living room bearing a pint of
ice-cream and a grin, “Want to go with me, Gina, ‘Geta and the kids to visit my
brother?”

“Brother?”
he asked. Took the ice cream and the
spoon. He didn’t remember them having
another brother. Of course, Goten had
probably told him about it and he had forgotten in the whirlwind that had
become his life. But as he thought now,
he was under the impression that it was just the twins and Bardock.

“Yeah,
Gohan. He td ind into a preppy-college
professor. You see there was once this
mystical beast called a harpy, and just before the last of them died, they had
one more child—and her name is Chichi.
And Chichi (somehow, although none of us can figure out why) seduced our
father into marrying her, then she took advantage of his trusting nature to
have really bad sex with him and thusly there was a child born; Gohan. Then she proceeded to ruin him by making him
read and write and learn shit.”

Well. Wasn’t that an enlightening story about
Gohan’s life. Not exactly the same
version that he was used to, but it was cute none the less. Definitely reminded him that this world’s
Gohan wasn’t going to be anything like what was in his world. So he sucked on the spoon for a moment,
weighhe phe pro’s and cons of saying ‘yes’ and going to see the man who’s death
(in his home world) had been the thing that pushed him to Super Saiyan.

“I
didn’t tell him about you,” Goten said, “Hell, I don’t think he even knows that
Vegeta’s mated. Or that he has a
child…or that we went time traveling.”
This made Goten grin. “This
ought to be a very entertaining visit.”

“I
guess,” he said. Handed the ice cream
back to Goten, and like a good boy he took it back to the freezer to wait until
it would once again be called on. Then
he stood up, pulled on his mate’s jacket—which was the most comfortable damn thing
he had ever worn. It was just so warm
and nice and comforting.

Goten
returned, motioned him out of the house, to the front yard, where the assembled
group was standing around. (Well,
Bardock was really sitting on his brother’s shoulders, clapping his little
hands together. Masuyo was sleeping in
his mother’s arms and Presta was floating around like she had much better
things to do with her time.) “Lets get
this train wreck on the way!” Goten said.

“That’s
extremely comforting,” Presta said.

~~~***

Gohan
actually lived in a nice little home—the very same home that had once had a
Vegeta & Goku shaped hole in the wall of it—that had been his mother’s
home. She was still
around—somewhere—and she was known to mutter when the Twins appeared, make
snide comments about how they were an ‘freak of science’ which had once made a
much younger (probably 14) Goten smack her on the behind and declare “That
isn’t the only kind of freak I am!”
Which in turn made her disappear when they appeared. (That was just as well, because the poor old
woman—Chichi—had been the focus of some of Goten’s pranks, including one that
altered her hair color permanently and she now had lime green hair.)

But
Gohan was fairly normal (by human standards) and his pretty wife (Videl) was
most normal as well. They had kids (a
girl named Pan, he thought, and a boy named Spoon or something. Maybe Pot or Kettle or something.) In fact, when they all appeared on his front
step, their older brother didn’t even squeal.

(He
too, had suffered the wrath of Goten’s keen sense of revenge, and had once even
pissed of Vegeta (his brother) so badly that he had gotten a beating.)

“Hiya!”
Goten said.

“Oh
Kami,” Gohan said, pointed at Trunks, “Where’d he come from and why is he
pregnant?” Then he saw Presta and Gina
and his eyes really bugged out of his head.
Presta had elected not to be wearing her earrings at this point and was
fabulously blond and glowing. “What’s
that?” he asked.

Pan
bounced out of the house, and took in the sight of her cousin for the first
time. (She looked just a bit too much
like Chichi.) And frowned. Recovered (Saiyans were naturally very
jealous by nature) and walked up to Presta, put out her hand. “I’m Pan!” she said.

“Good
for you,” Presta replied. (For which,
her father smacked the back of her head and she rolled her eyes, muttered
something in her original language that made both twinsn ann and then
said): “I’m Presta. We’re…cousins.”

“I
can’t believe they let you reproduce,” Gohan said—ah, he did inherit some sense
of humor. “So, introduce
everyone.” Wasn’t he just snotty? All that book learning went straight to his
glasses-wearing head.

“This
is Gina,” Vegeta said, “My mate, and our son, Masuyo.” He pointed to Trunks who was standing there
in a sort of strange stunned silence.
“That’s Trunks, Goten’s mate and he’s carrying their kid. This one,” he ted ted to Bardock on his
shoulder, “Is our little brother, Bardock and she,” he flicked Presta on the
back of the head, “Is Goten’s child from an alternate universe. Oh, and Trunks is from an alternate universe
too.”

“GOHAN!”
came the familiar screech from inside, the door opened once more and out popped
the lime-green head they all loved to hate.
“Who’s th…” She stopped in
mid-word, took in the sight of the troublemakers, stayed still for a moment
until Goten licked his lips suggestively and waved to her. Then she was gone.

“That
is really gross,” Gohan said. Then he
sighed and took in the sight of their growing family. “And I thought Dad would have had the sense to sterilize you
two.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

Trunks: You
know, Vegeta and Goku got to have tons of sex when he was pregnant.

Goten: We
should follow this tradition.

Lil’Geta: *mumbles something about how he was
deprived *

Gk: This
chapter needed more sex.

Vegeta: Yes,
it did.

Presta:
*kicks Pan *

Pan:
HEY!~ *launches self forward and
attacks Presta *

Gina: That’s
my girls! *roots for a fight. *

Lil’Geta:
Oh, I am so glad you *glares at Goten * are having the girls.

Getarian:

There
will be less to catch up on. I’ve
finished Never Before—and its staying without a sequel—and I’ve got the last
chapter of A Prince Among Men all set up to be finished. So that’s two stories off the list that need
to be caught up on. Unfortunately I’ve
sat down and started writing out ‘Much Like Suffocating’ and *save us all * it
looks to be something of ‘The Meaning of Pride’ type epic. *bangs head on table. * WHY ME?!

Anyway. You’re right Bardock is over a year
old. But the ‘seven months’ thing was
talking about when he was seven months old, Goten scared the cheese right out
of him, and that is the reason he always listens to Goten. (This will probably be explained more
soon. Maybe not, but probably.)

*shudders
at thought of marshmallow crème * I don’t
like marshmallow. *shudder some more
* Or melon. *shudder even more *
Other than that…sounds yummy.

And
Yes, Goku is very evil! Evil, evil Goku! (I wouldn’t mind so much listening to him
yell out him happy-type ecstasy, but I’m not his kid, I’m just the one that
follows him around and writes about his sex life.) ~Oi, that made me sound like a freak. Oh well~

Lenora:

*twins
hug Lenora in response * Lol. I don’t think its very helpful to get the
stories on the disk if you leave the disk in the library. Seems a tad bit counterproductive.

Jaygoose:

I
have lived in one of those houses.
Chaos is the normal thing. I
love my little Saiyan family. *pats
them all * And the scary thing is, they
are actually a very non-dysfunctional family.
*gasp * Weird.