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Surrender	By : YojiKato Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. I only own the original characters. And nobody's paying me to write this.

Chapter List
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You would think it would be easy to gain weight, right? Well, under normal circumstance I'm sure it would have be. But hospital food, as we all know, isn't all that great. Add to it my taste buds are royally messed up due to chemo and... yeah, it was harder than I thought. But after two weeks, I found myself fourteen pounds heavier, and I owe it all to Duo's thoughtfulness of bringing me fast food for two meals a day.
Weir is completely unhappy with my decision of going back to the estate and not a hospital, but I can't say I care all that much whether he's happy or not. These may or may not be my last days. Is it wrong to want to spend them with the ones I love most?
Duo and Wufei were more than happy to move in quickly. Ronnie and Trowa a little slower due to his injuries, but no less happy to acquiesce to my request. All of us were given time off work, either sick leave or vacation. Wufei pressed the issue for himself and Duo. Une cowered rather easily from what I hear. I didn't really pay all that much attention to the reasons why. I was too caught up in feeling better... not great, but better than I had in weeks.
******
“You're up early.”
Heero glanced to the clock on the wall. “It's near nine.”
Marty chuckled. “Everyone else is still asleep. Honestly, I didn't expect anyone to get up before noon.”
Heero shrugged. “I rested while everyone else worried.” He grabbed orange juice out of the fridge and poured a glass before sitting at the table.
“What would you like for breakfast?”
“Surprise me.” In truth, he wasn't too terribly hungry, but he was starting chemo again that afternoon and wanted as much in his system as possible. Ten minutes later he was staring down at a plate full of bacon, eggs, and pancakes smothered in butter and syrup. He ate half before his stomach let him know he couldn't eat anymore. Which kind of saddened him as he wanted more, it actually tasted good for a change, but he didn't want to make himself sick. He sat back and wiped his mouth before finishing his juice.
“That was good.”
Marty grinned. “Glad to hear it. Anything else I can get you?”
Heero shook his head and pushed from the table. “I'm good.” He wandered out to the garden. It was one of the most peaceful areas on the property. Being surrounded by the rich scents of the well-kept flowers made one feel as if they were transported to a different place. Somewhere perfect and free of pain.
He sat on the marble bench that circled the fountain and laid his chin on his arm on the rim, gazing down into the clear water. He closed his eyes. Birds chirped in the trees and the gentle trickle of the water lulled him into a doze. His idle mind filled with visions of crystal clear eyes and soft sun-kissed hair. Full lips and a sweet smile. He sighed softly as sleep overtook him. But rest didn't last for long as blue eyes were replaced with muddy hazel and gentle hands swapped with rough and unyielding.
Events unfolded in his mind as his memory recalled them, throwing them back at him almost as if in slow motion. The act itself had been dirty and unnerving, but the most horrifying aspect to Heero was the fact that he'd been so helpless. He was totally at the mercy of a man who didn't comprehend the meaning of the word.
As he reached the part where the fingers entered him, he jerked awake. He quickly calmed his gasping breaths, searching the garden for a sign that anyone was around. His eyes fell to the house and a long figure gazed down at him from an upstairs window before disappearing. He sighed a few moments later as Duo was walking down the steps of the deck and heading in his direction.
He sat next to Heero on the bench, studying him for a moment before stretching his arms on the rim and leaning his back to the fountain. “Wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
Duo tilted his head back, watching a fluffy cloud pass, momentarily blocking the sun. “You don't need to keep what he did to you bottled up.”
Heero laid his chin back on his arm. “He didn't do anything. He was stopped.”
“He held you against your will, used Tro and Ronnie against you, felt you up pretty good.” He cut his eyes to the Japanese man. “He had fingers inside you, Heero. He molested you.”
He flinched at the last two statements, but resisted the urge to jump up and storm off. “I'm fine.”
“You're having nightmares.”
He sighed. “I wouldn't exactly refer to one less-than-pleasant dream as 'nightmares'.”
Duo sighed. “Heero, I know you're good at dealing with stuff, but seriously. You have to be at least a little bothered about the man trying to rape you.” He easily caught the hand that flew at his face and calmly met angered blue eyes. “See?” he whispered. “You're not fine.”
Heero's eyes widened as he realized he'd taken a swing at Duo. He deflated against the fountain. “Sorry.”
“Don't worry about it. Talk to me.”
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth and he gazed into the fountain. “I've been losing control for weeks, Duo.”
“Control of what?”
“Everything. How do you fight your own body? I can't get rid of the cancer. Some drugs that are killing me are trying to do that. I couldn't keep my hair from falling out. I can't control my emotions like I used to be able to. I couldn't stop him from...”
Duo tilted his head to catch Heero's eyes. “Go on.”
He briefly glanced to Duo. “I was never promiscuous, but I definitely enjoyed sex.” Duo nodded, he'd heard that quite loudly the first week he'd stayed at Quatre's. Heero shook his head. “I never thought about something that's so good could turn into something so... painful. Duo, he didn't even really get started and it hurt like a bitch.” He shivered, closing his eyes. “And I couldn't do a damn thing to stop him.”He looked back to Duo, the same expression on his face that he had given Duo when he fell out at the office. “I've never been so helpless before.” He stood and paced a few steps, back to Duo. “I'd already been struggling with my loss of control, so when that happened with Marks... I decided this can't be a long term thing. I either have to get well soon or die.”
Duo jumped up and grabbed Heero's shoulders, spinning him. “Heero, you still have your strength of will. Saying you want a quick fix is the same as giving up! Sometimes it takes a while to get well. Take Ronnie's sister for example. She suffered with it for almost a year and now she's been in remission for three. Are you saying that little woman is tougher than a Gundam pilot?”
He frowned. “Well, the Irish are pretty tough.” Duo just stared at him and he sighed. “I'm whining, aren't I?”
“Oh Heero.” He pulled him into his arms. “If anyone ever had a right to whine, it's you.”Heero pressed his forehead to Duo's chest and cringed slightly at their difference in height. He found it decidedly unfair that he was the shortest of their group, outside of Ronnie. Even Quatre had a few inches on him. He also believed it was wrong that Wufei, a full blooded Asian, made it to 5'11”. He snorted and pushed Duo away.
“What?”
He looked up into curious violet eyes. “Just doing some mental whining.”
Duo raised an eyebrow at the slight blush staining Heero's cheeks. “What exactly were you thinking about?”
“How tall are you?”
He shrugged. “6'2”.” Heero huffed and walked back toward the house. Duo laughed. “Oh, come on, Heero. Maybe you haven't hit your growth spurt yet.”
“I'm twenty-five. Pretty sure I've grown all I'm going to.”
Loud laughter was heard from the living room as they stepped into the house. They exchanged glances at Trowa's grumbled response.
“I don't think it's that funny. Fix it now.”
Duo grinned. “Oh, this has to be good.” They moved into the living room. Quatre stood in the other doorway, hand covering his mouth as his shoulders shook with laughter. Wufei was obviously trying to contain his mirth as his lips were pressed tightly together and his face was red. And in the recliner sat Trowa, left arm strapped to his chest and right laying in his lap. Due to his injuries, he was unable to use either. So, apparently, Ronnie had taken the opportunity to pull his hair back from his face and hold it in place with a pink, sparkly headband. The disgruntled look he shot his girlfriend only added to the scene.
“Oh, Tro,” Duo howled, “that look is so you. It lets the world see those pretty eyes of yours.”
Trowa flushed and looked to Heero. “You have some sense, I hope. Will you help?”
He shook his head, smirking. “I agree with Duo.”
Trowa groaned. “Traitor. Doesn't anyone have a problem with taking advantage of the injured guy?”
They shared glances and looked back to him. “Not really,” Ronnie said. “Come on, babe, don't you think it's time you let the world see that face of yours? Heero and I shouldn't be the only one's to have had the pleasure.”
Trowa's flush deepened and Heero's face turned as red as a tomato. Duo and Wufei looked from one to the other. Duo's jaw dropped. “You and Trowa? When did that happen?”
“Ten years ago,” four voices answered.
Duo pouted as he looked to Ronnie and Quatre. “Why are we the only ones who didn't know?”
Heero smacked him lightly up the back of his head as he crossed to sit on the love seat. “Because it doesn't affect you.” He looked to Trowa. “You really should consider a haircut, though. There's no reason to hide anymore.”
They held gazes for a long moment before Trowa tilted his head to the side. “Maybe.” He smirked. “If I agree to think about it, will you get this damn thing out of my hair?”
Heero flashed a rare grin. “No, I think it's cute.” Trowa rolled his eyes.
Quatre sat next to him and gripped his hand. “I woke up and you weren't there.”
“Sorry, you looked like you needed more sleep.”
Quatre studied him. “You look good this morning.”
He smiled. “I feel good.” He gazed at his lover, thoughts moving to the fact that in a few hours the chemo would begin again. It would be highly improper to act on what he was thinking, but, he decided, sometimes you had to throw 'proper' out the window. He stood and tugged Quatre back up to their bedroom.
“Heero?”
He turned once the door was shut and pressed his lips to his lover's. Quatre allowed it a moment before leaning back. “We shouldn't.”
He groaned. “Why not? You never touch me anymore.”
“I... I don't want to hurt you.”
Heero gazed at him a moment before pulling away and sitting on the foot of the bed. “Is it how I look? Are you... not attracted to me anymore?”
Quatre gaped and stood in front of him, taking Heero's hands in his own. “Of course I'm still attracted to you.”
He dropped his chin to his chest. “Then, is it because of what happened with Marks?”
He tipped Heero's chin up, but blue eyes remained downcast. “I love you, Heero. I always want to touch you. I always want to be with you. But... you've been so sick.”
He raised his eyes. “I feel good right now, Quatre. I don't know how long that will last.”
Quatre chewed his lip for a moment. “Heero, you haven't said much about what happened while Marks had you. Are you sure you're ready for anything intimate?”
He sighed softly. “You never hurt me before. I don't see that changing.” He curled a hand behind Quatre's neck and pulled him down for a tender kiss.
Quatre tried to keep it chaste, but Heero was having none of it. He ran his tongue over the blond's lips and he acquiesced. For the past few weeks, sex had been the last thing on his mind, but tasting Heero quickly reminded him of the passion his lover brought to the bedroom.
Without breaking the kiss, he slid Heero up on the bed until his head was resting on the pillows. He pulled his lips away momentarily to divest Heero of his shirt. He kissed down Heero's chest, ignoring the slightly raised area by his collarbone where where they had implanted the portacath. Heero's hands tangled tugged at his shirt and Quatre raised up and pulled it off. He quickly slid off the bed and stripped off his pants, too. Heero had similar ideas and raised his hips to slide his pants off.
He crawled back onto the bed, smirking at the hungry eyes that raked over his form. Heero looked up to his face. “You're beautiful, you know that?”
Quatre laughed softly. “You've mentioned something about that before.” He leaned down, kissing Heero again. Hands brushed up his neck to tangle in his hair as he licked and suckled his way down Heero's chest. He reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a tube, setting it by Heero's hip. He moved down, lapping at Heero's navel and kissing the juncture of his hip and leg.
“Quatre.”
He raised up on his elbows and shifted slightly. “Oh, was this what you wanted?” He flicked out his tongue to lap at the tip of Heero's erection. Blue eyes slid closed and his hips bucked in reflex. Quatre gripped the base in one hand as he ran the flat of his tongue all the way to the tip and lapped at it like a Popsicle for a second before taking just the head into his mouth. He removed his hand and grabbed the lube, slicking his fingers.
He traced Heero's entrance and the Japanese man froze, every muscle in his body tensing. Quatre pulled his hand and lips away. “You okay?”
He released a slow breath and relaxed. “Sorry.”
“You want me to stop?”
“No.” He sat up and pulled the blond into a searing kissed as he turned them so he was straddling him. He shifted so Quatre could easily reach to stretch him.
Quatre tentatively touched him again and Heero remained relaxed. He took extra care to go as slow as possible, giving Heero more time to adjust than he knew was needed physically. When he had three fingers inside, Heero was practically slamming back on them. He pulled them out and covered his erection and then placed his hands palm up on the pillow on either side of his head.
Heero understood the silent statement. He was in total control of whatever happened. He hated himself for how comforting that was. “I love you.”
Quatre smiled. “Love you, too.”
Heero gripped the blond's length and slowly lowered himself onto it. When he was fully seated he took several calming breaths. The initial moment of fear was well passed and all he wanted was to be filled over and over again by the length inside him. But he knew if he went too fast, it would be over way too soon. And he never wanted it to end.
He curled his legs tight to Quatre's hips and put his hands to the blond's firm chest as he raised and lowered, beginning a slow rhythm. Quatre's breath hitched and his hands tightened and released, but never left their spot on the pillow. Heero leaned forward, sliding his hands down Quatre's arms until he could lace his fingers with his lover's and take Quatre's lips in a searing kiss.
After several minutes of the slow love-making, Heero had had enough of tender and sweet. He moved his hands to slid under Quatre's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position, which rather quickly turned into Heero flat on his back, one leg over Quatre's shoulder and the other around his waist as he slamming into him. Heero tossed his head back, moaning loudly as Quatre found his prostate and hit it with every thrust.
Soon he was crying out in gasps and moans, clenching his fists in the sheets. Quatre felt the heady rush that came with watching Heero lose himself to wild abandon. Every time they had made love, it moved in the same rhythm. Heero claimed to want to lose control, but barked demands. Then, as he neared completion, Heero completely fell to the will of the one taking him. He dropped all pleas and demands and simply accepted whatever was given.
Quatre felt his own climax rising and leaned down to press his lips to Heero's once again as he wrapped his fingers around Heero's length. He wouldn't hold the kiss, though. No, that would muffle the sweetest cry of completion known to mankind. Quatre pulled back as he felt Heero's back begin to arch and the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard filled the room as Heero came.
The muscles around Quatre clenched in response and he pressed his forehead to Heero's neck as he came. They rode out the ecstasy and lay in a sweaty, sticky, sated mess until they could breath right again.
Several minutes later they heard voices down the hall. “See! I told you!”
“I never would have thought... Maybe he's putting on a show? I mean... can Quatre really be that good?”
Quatre pushed up to his elbows and raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Heero. The Japanese man didn't have to say anything as another voice answered for him.
“Heero's is vocal during sex... Not that I've ever heard him quite that loud, but... he expresses exactly how he's feeling. If he screams that loud, Quatre has to be doing something right.”
Quatre buried his face in Heero's shoulder. “I don't know whether to be humiliated or flattered.”
Heero snorted. “How about I be humiliated and you be flattered?”
He chuckled and raised up. “Shower?”
“Sounds good.”
TBC…
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