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Disclosure
By : TristaML
Category: Missing Data > Missing Data
Views: 167 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
A/N Sorry this took so long. This is a WIP. As always, enjoy.

Chapter 18 (VP) Recognition:
I can’t just resume my life as though nothing happened. I fly out in the middle of nowhere on this stubbornly blessed planet right after our conversation. The need to be alone is so much a part of who I am, no one will come looking for me, anyways, so I’ve just been sitting here, atop a large cliff, some ways away from everyone and everything, but somehow it doesn’t seem far enough.
My head is pounding; so is my heart. Time seems to fly by when you’re overwhelmed.
That week flew by. The one before this… rewind. At least, I can only assume that’s what happened. It still doesn’t make sense. None of it does. How could all of that have happened and now we’re back to normal? But… not. I am going to have to live with this. Was that side effect a purposefully well-executed punishment for my crimes?
Why must I mull over this so much? Because I’m obsessive and nothing ever came to a conclusion.
How long have I been trying to make sense of everything?! My thoughts begin and end so abruptly, I have yet to make end or beginning of any of them. Scenes replay before my mind, words spoken, deeds done, and all of it, was undone so quickly, and so painlessly.
Gohan is alive. I can sense him. Trunks. Bulma. Piccolo-?!
I’m honestly startled from my thoughts when I hear his familiar voice call my name as he lands softly behind me. I stand and turn to greet him, not at all disturbed, despite my desire to be alone. The earnest gaze I put upon him cannot be helped, and instead of asking questions, I await for him to begin speaking, hoping to hear something gratifying. Why else would he seek me out today?
“So,” Piccolo begins, “Everything went well with ‘Kakarot’ earlier? It’s good to know we won’t have to go through that again.”
My eyes widen, and I have no wish to feign ignorance, or waste time on chide remarks, so I answer, and ask, desperate for information, “You were watching! And you remember everything, too, then? …Are we the only ones? What did you wish for, exactly?” I silently wonder at myself. When did I become so open about such private matters? I guess Kakarot made himself and his choices a spectacle and I wasn’t all too worried about what others thought then.
But still… Piccolo didn’t exactly trust me, no, in fact, he believed me to still be the bad guy in all of this, and I can see that I’ve given him no reason to feel otherwise. As far as he knows, I was going to wish for immortality for Kakarot, and we were going to say goodbye to life as we once knew it. And he’s right. I was. I was going to throw this all away; I was going to try to protect the Earth… I was going to try and save them, as much as I could… but leave it behind, nonetheless.
Piccolo smirks and nods, “Yes, I remember everything,” and I can tell that he’s still trying to grasp our “new” reality, too. He explains, “Since I’m the one who made the wish, my memory of everything can’t be erased… at least, that’s what I understand of it and I was hoping for as much. As for what I wished for, I thought it was obvious. I wished that we travel back in time… To the morning before all of that. And, of course, I wished for you to keep your memory as well, so that perhaps things might turn out a little differently. Otherwise we would have been doomed to repeat it all over again, unless I stepped in to stop you, which is why I made sure to keep an eye on your conversation.”
“So! You trust me, after all, is that it? I’m so touched,” I sneer and turn my back to him, disgusted with everything. The memory is still so raw. I don’t know what to say.
“Well, I took a gamble on you,” he answers.
Silence ensues.
What does he want, for me to grovel at his feet at his genius? For me to apologize for everything that I did- Finally, I say, “Like I said before, I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t want… that. Never did I ever think that he…” I abruptly change the subject, and turn to face him once again, “What does it matter anymore? You saved the universe and I’m the only one that will ever know about it. How does that feel?”
He answers, and I can hear some humor in his voice, “You and I both know that there’s much more to the story than that, and, anyways, I think, for what it’s worth, that was by far the most interesting and terrifying adventure I’ve ever been through.”
I smirk, and begin rambling, “Yeah. Agreed. And I’ve been through some shit. Kakarot…”
He smirks back at me, and replies, even though I trailed off, “You are something else, Vegeta, you know that? You’re a survivalist. You will do whatever it takes to ensure that you live on. Whatever it takes.”
“Yeah, well, I…” I begin, but as I speak, I realize I have nothing to say. If that’s how he wants to look at it, but I just… I just don’t know. I don’t know anything!
“To be honest, I think that you would have probably found a way, but at what cost to your own wellbeing? At what cost to your former life? A renegade for life, huh. I guess I can’t blame you. After everything, I think I’ve finally gotten a glimpse into how you used to live, day to day, hour to hour, minute by agonizing minute in uncertainty.” I roll my eyes, not wishing to make any comparisons, but he continues, “You… you were one step ahead of me, at any given moment. One step ahead of Goku, even, and I think it drove him crazy. I think… that was part of why he was so extreme. But I don’t know. You two are the Saiyans. I don’t really understand.” At my continued silence he adds, “Gohan surprised me, too. And I learned a lot about what’s really going on inside of all of your minds- more than I ever wanted to know.”
I remark, “I never lied to you. I didn’t know about Gohan’s… curiosities. And I could have never predicted anything that happened! It was an accident! Turning him into that. I just reacted… I didn’t think… I was just trying to do what I thought best! And if Gohan and Trunks had listened to me from the beginning! And if you had understood the gravity of the situation! Then perhaps I might have been able to spare you all from such undeserved fates!”
“Yeah,” he nods, nowhere near as worked up as I am. He tells me, “Maybe. It’s a lot to mull over, isn’t it? I’ve been trying to figure it all out myself. Given the facts, Kakarot being so powerful and all, I don’t think it could have gone any better, tragic ending and all.”
I eye him suspiciously, confused and mentally exhausted.
“Look,” he says, “I won’t ask you what your plan was. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter, anyways. But, I took Gohan’s advice in the end and it turns out he was right about you.”
“What?!” I demand.
“Gohan knew you meant us no harm. He said he could see the wheels turning in your eyes, the desperation with which you were trying to figure this all out, and he felt bad about not including you in on our plan. Surely you know that we were just trying to help, too. How could we have known what a terrible monster he had become… I didn’t want to believe it.”
I cross my arms over my chest, surprised but still annoyed, “Denial is your enemy.”
Piccolo quirks a brow bone and looks at me strangely. Then he says, “Yes, and he… he wasn’t himself. Even he knew it,” Thin-lipped, he adds, “I don’t blame you for what happened. I want you to know that.”
Shock swarms me unexpectedly but I try my best to remain unresponsive.
He continues, standing tall and stoic, “I just came here to tell you that you’re not the only one who’s been trying to figure out exactly what happened and why, but it’s okay now, even though it will probably bother us for a while. Fortunately for me, what happened between you two has nothing to do with me, and it’s… well, it’s clearly unfinished business. I’m not the one who’s in love with him.”
My eyes widen and my jaw drops.
“I told you I wasn’t surprised that you took your chance. Actually, I’m a little impressed you tried again earlier today, but his reaction was to be expected, don’t you think?”
“Fuck you,” I spit back, and turn away from him once again, “I don’t need to hear this from you right now.”
“Fine,” he answers coolly, “I don’t really have anything else to say, for now. It’s strange… to know these secrets, though. Gohan’s desire for you… ‘Kakarot’s’ interesting mind… And your… situation. But, we’re wiser for it, aren’t we? And there’s so much to consider. Goku’s not so simple, after all. I find it kind of funny,”
“What’s funny?!” I growl.
“That you knew it all along. I never thought him idiotic, as you always call him, but… the true depth there, I couldn’t have recognized it the way you did. What he said… how he justified his circumstances and argued his side of things… I’ll never forget it.” He sighs, and I notice that he’s tired, too, as he changes the subject, “I am going to the gathering tomorrow, but I suppose you knew that already. It was at Gohan’s request, but now I have so much to look forward to in the impending visit.”
“Ha-fucking-ha.”
He smirks and turns to go, but adds, “If you decide at any time that you’d like to talk… You know how to find me.”
With that he leaves, and I have so many more thoughts race through my mind that I can’t help but fall to my knees and let them all rush over me, but the questions don’t fully develop and there’s no clear answers.
(GP)
Vegeta… This morning… I… That was… a very unexpected disclosure. I can’t get it out of my mind. Any of it.
I thought I was the one who had something to say… and I thought I knew how he’d react. At least, to some degree. I thought he would get mad, but that! I thought I had made up my mind about leaving… But then he…
I bite my lower lip as I think about his kiss for the hundredth time. I don’t understand.
I haven’t spent time with him in quite a while. Months. Maybe a year even. And it’s almost like he… knew what I was going to say. It’s almost like he was… desperate for me…
What?! No, that- that’s silly! I bring my hand up to my lips to feel there, as though I can relive the moment through that gesture.
“Goku? What is wrong?” Chi Chi asks me, startling me out of my thoughts.
I turn to her and blush, but I can’t answer other than a stammer of “I”’s and “Um”’s.
“You’ve been sitting there staring out the window ever since you came home this morning! Why don’t you go outside and get some fresh air?” she smiles.
I nod and do as she suggests absentmindedly. Before I fully realize it, I’m outside, wandering around the woods aimlessly. As much as my mind floats around from subject to subject, it keeps going back to him and what he said, and what he did.
I sigh heavily and find another place to perch upon so that I can think this all through for the thousandth time today.
I’ve planned on leaving for so long, now. I’ve been wanting to tell him all this time. I’ve even showed up at Capsule Corp in the middle of the night a few times to try and catch him off guard. But when it came time to wake him up, and I saw him sleeping so peacefully, I just couldn’t do it. So I’d stay and watch him snore lightly and smile down at him, but I’d leave just as quickly as I came, especially if there were any hints of him waking up.
I’ve been asking Trunks about how he’s been doing lately, too, and Trunks would just laugh and say something like, “Nothing’s changed, he still talks about fighting you again one day, and spends most of his spare time training.” And I’d always smile back at him and leave it at that.
I don’t want to fight with Vegeta. Train with him, sure, but… I don’t want… any animosity there. I guess that’s why I’ve been trying so hard to work myself up to tell him that I want to leave because the last thing that I wanted was for him to be mad at me for it.
I wasn’t expecting the reaction I did get!
“If you’re going to leave tomorrow… and I can’t change your mind… I at least wanted to show you what you’d be missing when you go.”
As I think about our kiss for the millionth time, I can feel my heart clenching inside of my chest and my breath quickening.
I’m beginning to question leaving! But! This is… so wrong, isn’t it? Suddenly my excuse for wanting adventure and change is so base and trivial. My reasons just aren’t justified enough to leave like I had planned.
But… I just didn’t think anyone would really mind.
Anyone except for him. I knew he’d care. I knew he would.
That’s why I wanted to tell him first and get it over with.
That’s why I wanted to tell him in private so that we could duke it out alone. We’d fight, meaningless punches and emotional wrestling, and then he’d yell at me and tell me to just go. And afterwards, when I told everyone else, the worst of it would be over. Their tears would be easier to handle than his blows.
And if I waited and told him with the rest of them, he’d be even more upset and probably never speak to me, and I didn’t want that.
Still he told me goodbye like I’d never see him again. And he kissed me like… like he’d never get another chance… What in the hell was that about?!
I’ve never felt so emotionally unstable as I do right now.
I’ve never felt so uncertain about something I thought I wanted for so long.
I’ve never felt so confused about him before all of this. Although, maybe I should have realized it before. I think about him all the time, but it had always been something more of a comforting thing. I knew he’d be here to protect them, if I left and anything bad ever happened. I know he’s… deeper than what he leads on. He’s more thoughtful than his arrogant boasting.
My gosh, what’s wrong with me? My whole body is quivering at the thought of our kiss… His smirk when I asked him why he kissed me… His lips and tongue on my neck… His hand on my cheek, my hand in his hair… His arm around my neck, my hand running up and down his back, my fingers gripping his body so differently than I ever have before.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he said.
And I said, “I don’t understand.”
“Why do you want to go? Why… leave?”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“Hn. I figured.”
How did he know? Why didn’t I know?!
“Goku?”
“Ah!?! …” I stand up and turn to a dark figure in the forest. “Piccolo?” I ask, surprised to see him, of all people here, and so late at night. I really need to get some sleep. I’ve been out here for such a long time.
“Your energy is a little unstable. Everything okay?” he asks, walking closer to where I can see him better in the moonlight.
I had no idea my power was fluctuating. I laugh uncomfortably and lie, “Yeah! Everything is fine! I was just… practicing some meditation…”
“Hm,” he grunts in reply and I could swear he has something else to say but he doesn’t voice it.
“What are you doing here?” I ask stupidly.
He smirks, and answers, “Just checking up on you.”
Duh.
Then he adds, “I sensed you and Vegeta together earlier… it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other hasn’t it?”
I blush profusely, happy that he can’t see it, but I know he can read the meek look on my face as I reply, “Yes, uh, it has…”
He doesn’t say anything.
I sigh and force myself to come out with part of my dilemma. “Actually, Piccolo. I’m glad you’re here. I kind of have some… news.”
“‘Kind of,’ Goku? Do you, or don’t you?”
I laugh, again, nervously, and reply, “Well… it’s just something I’ve been thinkin about. I was gonna tell everyone tomorrow, but since you’re here…” I trail off. His silence makes this harder. He’s kind of like Vegeta in that regard. Always making me second guess myself before I even get the chance to express myself. I come out with it, “I’ve been planning on leaving for some time now… You know… leave and go off the planet.”
“Hn,” is all he says at first.
His continued silence urges me to clarify what I can’t really explain, but I add, anyways, trying to sound sure, “Yeah, I just think it’s time for a change.”
Piccolo asks me, after a moment of consideration, “How did Vegeta take the news?”
“What…?!” I ask, surprised that I was so transparent.
“What, you didn’t tell him?”
“N-no. I mean. I did. But… I… he…” I can’t even get the words out. What words? I don’t know. Should I tell him everything? I mean, what would it hurt?
Piccolo is quiet and calm as usual. He simply asks, ignoring my stammering. “Why do you want to leave, anyways?”
I sigh, and tell him, “I just… I’m… I’m ready for something new, you know. It’s not personal. I know it might… be upsetting to some of them, but they’ll be okay. I… I’ve been thinking about it for a while, now.”
“I see,” is all he replies.
I can’t help but think about Vegeta again, and how differently today went than I thought it would.
Piccolo speaks up, “You sure you’re okay?”
I nod, but I don’t smile, and I answer, “Yeah.”
“So, you’re really going to leave, then?”
In mild shock I don’t answer.
Piccolo smirks, “I can’t imagine Vegeta took the news very well. He probably knocked you in the back on the head for even suggesting it.”
“Why would you think that?” I ask, not surprised that he feels that way, I actually thought that’s what he’d do, too! But… what he did, that’s what’s got me so worked up. I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation!
Piccolo chuckles and says, “Just a thought. You know, if you think about it, he stayed on this planet because of you, Goku. Besides, I figured you planned that one out. Telling him first and all. It’s not my business, though.”
“Piccolo!” I start, surprised by how obvious I am to him, “Vegeta didn’t get mad, though. I mean, he’s mad, at least, I think he’s mad… or maybe he’s upset?”
“Upset?” he asks, still smirking, “Well, isn’t that similar to being mad? I thought we all kind of figured out by now that when Vegeta gets mad it’s because he cares.”
I know that! I know he cares! I knew he’d care…
“Anyways, Goku. I’m sure you know what you’re doing,” he smirks.
“Piccolo…” I begin, but I hesitate. I don’t know if Vegeta would want me to tell him. I don’t know if I want him to know. Especially if I’m going to leave anyways.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing. I guess I just… it feels good to get it off my chest. I’ve been holding it in for so long.”
How long has Vegeta been holding that in?
Piccolo only nods. “You’ll be missed, Goku. And I won’t say anything to anyone before you do. But, I have one more question. Have you told your sons yet?”
“No,” I sigh, “Only Vegeta… and he…” I admit, “he actually told me that he didn’t want me to leave. Can you believe that?” Piccolo chuckles and I can’t help but be confused. “What’s so funny?”
“The shock on your face!” he answers, “You’re surprised by that? I’d tell you I don’t want you to go if I thought it would make a difference. I’m sure everyone would. But you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do. Vegeta’s just… taking his chance, since he knows he won’t get another one. Wouldn’t you, if the tables were turned?”
“I… never thought about that, before.”
Piccolo smiles at me. “You look tired, Goku. You should get some rest.”
“Yeah,” I laugh it all off, and bring my hand up to scratch the back of my head, “You’re right. I think I’ll head on home. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?!”
He nods at me and takes off and I can’t help but wonder at our conversation for some time after he’s gone. I head back to my home, my head still full of questions and doubts. Maybe I haven’t thought this through. In any case, I need to talk to Vegeta again, but I still don’t know what to say.
- 17
- 18
- 19
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Disclosure	By : TristaML Category: Missing Data > Missing Data Views: 167 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer:

Disclosure