The Prince Bride

Disclaimer: Neither DBZVelena or ShenLong own in any way, shape, form or matter any rights to the Movie/Book "The Princess Bride" All rights remain with Act III Communications and William Goldman, the appropriate copyright rs. rs. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made here. This fic, "The Prince Bride" is based on this movie/book but with several twists and Yaoi content. This fic also contains many direct quotes and scenes from the movie/book.

Rating: Since both stories are rated PG.-13 and this fic is based on them. Most of the fic will be PG.-13. However be careful to check individual chapters to be sure. (ShenLong might add a lemon, you never know...)

Warnings: Violence, romance, lime, fluff, cheesy-ness, and lots more.

Pairings: Lots! *snicker*

Authors note: DBZVelena: Sorry for the long delay. X-mas and work got in my way this time.
Yes I got a job now...

ShenLong; I can only write 'em when I get 'em. :)
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The Prince Bride

Chapter 19 "Sobering the Chinese"


The wagon slowly rumbled its way over the bridge and through the forest, the human cargo moaning in time with the groaning of the wheels. The wagon halted for a moment to allow Rashid to converse with one of his random Maguanacs, confirming that he wanted ALL the thieves and unsavory characters out of the forest immediately, failure to comply would result in loss of *privileges* for a month.

Outside a small Inn a dark haired man sat sprawled out on the earthen floor, partially held up by the Inn's wall. He took a swig from the bottle he held and then swung it around as he yelled his anger to the surrounding vegetation. "I am waiting for you, Winner!" Wufei hiccupped and took another draught from the bottle. "You told me to go back to the beginning." Wufei nodded to himself. "And so I have."

Wufei looked around at the Inn and surrounding area. "Only problem is, there doesn't seem to be any customers, or at least none like there used to be when I first started out in this business. I can remember when they would line up at the door, only too happy to part with their cash for a few minutes of unbridled passion with this body of mine..."

Wufei took another drink from the bottle. "Well, this is where I am, this is the best place to find the customer so this is where I'll stay... I will not be moved!"

The random Maguanac strolled around the corner and stopped when he spotted the drunk I-think-I'm-a-whore holding up the building. "Ho there."

Wufei let fly a volley of Chinese curses when he realized he was being addressed by something in pants and tried his best to look seductive, which failed miserably as he was drunk off his ass he couldn't even sit upright. "You can keep your Ho there, just let me know what it is you want and I'll give you a price."

The Maguanac scratched his head. "The Princess gave an order."

Wufei scrambled up, stumbling over various objects swinging his sword around. The Maguanac stepped back out of reach as Wufei began to rant. "So did Winner, he gave the orders... When the job went wrong you go back to the beginning. This is where I got my first job... granted it was a blow job but that is irrelevant, it was still a job and this is the beginning, so I'm staying until Winner comes." Wufei continued to flail the sword in the air.

The Maguanac soldier dodged the blade, calling out as he did so. "You, elf/man... knife thrower or whatever it is you call yourself, come here!"

Calmly, Trowa walked up to the drunk Wufei who slid back down against the wall to his partially slumped position of earlier, all his strength having deserted him for the moment. Blindly he groped around for the bottle he had been swigging on. "I am waiting for Winner..."

Trowa reached down, wrapped his fingers in the front of Wufei's shirt and pulled him to his feet. "You, my friend, are still a sinner."

Something stirred in the dark recesses of Wufei's brain, vaguely he could recall having a rhyming contest with someone at some stage. He raised his hand and compared the length of his fingers with those of the elf/man. Suddenly everything began to slot into place and he looked up into the one visible green eye and smiled.

Trowa stared back at him, noting the look of recognition. "Hello."

"It's you..." muttered Wufei.

"That is true," came the reply.

"Good, you have him, now let's... Ooof."

*Thud*

As the Maguanac approached with the chains so Trowa's arm shot out, connecting with the jaw of the unsuspecting soldier and knocking him out. Wufei gave a low whistle of appreciation and then staggered a bit as he tried to keep his balance, Trowa's hand still on his shirt assisting him a little.

Trowa turned his attention back to his former comrade. "You don't look too good," he stated the obvious.

"No shit, Sherlock. Neither would you if you had endured everything I have these past few days; not to mention that I'm drunk and loving it." The words were exhaled over Trowa's face which promptly turned a lovely shade of green, matching his eyes perfectly.

"You don't smell so good either," Trowa muttered. The fumes from the alcohol wafting over him were enough to make him inebriated without touching a drop.

Wufei swayed again. "I don't care what I smell like, I feel fine."

Trowa released his friend and patted him lightly on the back. Wufei's eyes closed and the world began to spin on its axis. Seconds later Wufei fell forwards, hitting the ground face first and leaving a rather nice depression in the dirt. Trowa rolled his eyes and bent to pick up his friend, muttering darkly about Chinese swordsmen who couldn't hold their liquor.

~ * ~

Uncle Howard flipped the page and continued to read....

"Inside the cottage that Trowa had managed to scam in a poker game he was reunited with his friend and began the task of nursing Wufei back to health..."

Trowa sat watching Wufei carefulHe dHe dipped the spoon into a bowl of thick, chunky soup and raised it to Wufei's lips. Wufei's mouth opened and the spoon slipped inside, depositing its contents into the unsuspecting cavern. Wufei began to chew and then choked, spitting the stuff out. "What the hell is that?"

"Soup."

"That's not soup, that's poison. Who the heck made it?"

"I did," replied Trowa. "My sister Catherine taught me how to make it a long time ago."

"I take back everything I ever said about you, my friend. Now I know the reason why you are as you are."

Trowa wasn't sure how to interpret that so he didn't bother, just continued to feed the protesting Wufei the soup. As he did, so he spoke of his defeat to the black clad man and how Quatre had also been outsmarted by the black figure leading to his capture by the royal guard. He also happened to mention that he had seen the man with the forked eyebrows.

"You have?" Wufei asked, the surprise in his voice.

"Yes, I have. He is the advisor, bodyguard and right hand man of the Princess Relena, otherwise known as Lord Treize."

"Considering the length of time Wufei had spent in trying to find the forked figure he took the news remarkably well. He gave something of a strangled moan and promptly fainted... face first into the bowl of soup." narrated Uncle Howard. "Trowa lifted his friend from the bowl before he could drown and proceeded to revive him."

Trowa dipped Wufei's head into a half barrel of warm water then yanked him out and dipped him into a half barrel of cold water. The process was repeated several times until Wufei could take no more.

Wufei struggled and managed to pull away from the man/elf. He flung his head to the side to shift his wet hair but only succeeded in having said hair plaster itself all over his face. Pulling the strands from his cheeks, nose and mouth he glared at his *friend*. "That's enough!" Seeing Trowa still eyeing him doubtfully he took another step away and growled. "I said, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Wufei shook his head again, trying to dispel the drops of water running down his face, neck and soaking his clothes, causing his clothes to become slightly transparent. He noted the sudden clouding of Trowa's eyes but unfortunately didn't have the time to explore that phenomena further at this point in time. "Where is this Lord Treize now so that I may kill him?"

Trowa gave Wufei a look that clearly said the Chinese man was off his rocker. "He is inside the castle, but the gate is guarded by thirty men."

Wufei cursed and kicked the closest thing to him which happened to be a rather sturdy stool. "Ow, shit!" he yelped as he hopped around for a moment. he turned his attention back to Trowa. "How many do you think you could handle?"

Trowa shrugged. "That depends on what I'm doing."

"I meant how many could you take down in battle." Wufei resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Trowa thought for a moment. "Ten, maybe fifteen if I'm lucky, I don't have any more knives than fifteen so I doubt I could take out any more than that."

Wufei proceeded to count on his fingers exactly how many that would leave him to deal with. he sat down heavily on the stool. "That would mean I would have fifteen or twenty to dispose of. Hmmm... Even on one of my best days I could not handle that many at once."

Trowa smirked.

"What?" asked Wufei.

"Oh, nothing." Trowa continued to smirk.

Wufei gave him a cold look. "What's so amusing?"

"I've never heard you admit that you couldn't handle something, that's all."

Wufei glowered and turned his attention elsewhere. "I need Quatre to form a plan, I'm no good with strategy."

"But Quatre is locked in the castle dungeon, or so I heard."

Wufei's face lit up. "Scratch that, what we need is the man in black."

"I thought they only dealt with aliens."

"I said the man in black, not Men in Black you idiot!" Wufei snapped and cuffed Trowa upside the head.

"Ow! Sorry." Trowa replied a little sheepishly.

Wufei turned and brought his nose to meet with Trowa's. "Don't you see? He bested me with the sword, he bested you with speed and he must have bested Quatre with his mind. A man that can do that must surely be able to think up a way to get into the castle."

"And then we can rescue Quatre and he can come up with a strategy for us to get into the castle and get you your revenge on this Treize guy." Trowa said with a smile.

Wufei stood there, smacked his forehead and then looked at his friend. "I don't believe how thick you can be at times." He pulled away and spun on his heel.

"What did I say?" Trowa mumbled.

"Let's go," Wufei demanded as he headed for the door.

"Hang on a minute," Trowa said. "You don't know where this black guy is."

Wufei paused in the open doorway and turned to his friend. "Don't bother me with trifling details. After twenty years of searching my father's soul will at last be at peace. There will be blood tonight or my name isn't Chang Wufei!"

"I thought your name was Wufei Chang."

Wufei threw his arms up in the air and stormed out of the cottage. Trowa scratched his head.

"Was it something I said?" he muttered as he followed the Chinese man out the door.

~ * ~

tbc...........