Maybe Angels

Title: Maybe Angels Part 18/?? - Hurt
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archives: the usual suspects; anywhere else, just ask
Category: Supernatural, Angst, Romance
Pairing(s): 2+5, 1+2, 3+1, 4+3, 4+2, H+4, 6+9, S+C, R+OC, 5+R (friendship), 13x5, eventual 2x5x2
Rating: T (13 )
Warnings: Shonen ai, OOC, AU, language, skewed views of a few different religions
Disclaimers: (sigh) No part of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, or its characters, belongs to me. Any references to Dogma are just made because I adore the movie and Kevin Smith, and are meant only out of love and affection for both. Not a single cent was made off of this piece of fanfiction. Suing would be inevitably pointless, seeing as how I have no money. Flames -will- be used to entertain my rabid muses... All three of them... They live for the things.
A/N: I meant to have a lot more in the last chapter when I started doing outlines for the rest of the fic, but Neko and Usagi, the little pains in the ass that they are, demanded that I had enough angst in that chapter already. So, this is sort of like Chapter 17 part 2. (sighs heavily) Well, on with the show, yes?
Symbols: -- change in scene, POV, or time
- Blah - in mind communication
-Blah- emphasized words

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There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
~What Hurts the Most, Rascal Flatts
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Hurt

The twins were becoming more and more independent of one another as they moved closer to their own eighteenth birthday. Wufei struggled to balance his quiet, studious nature with his outgoing and ambitious best friend. His love of her was the only reason he would leave his studies and his own ambitions, outside of his... boyfriend... and familial obligations. Relena knew this, and she made sure that after every public appearance that was force on Wufei to give him time alone to gather himself.

Meiran, on the other hand, tried her damnedest to be as different from her brother as humanly possible. She attended every party she could find, was a cheerleader to her basketball player boyfriend, only got grades good enough to stay on her father's good side, and stayed away from her family as much as she could. When she did show up at the Chang house for longer than an evening, a fight between the twins was imminent.

The three weeks before her father's second wedding was oddly calm. Strange even. Meiran came home immediately from school everyday, locked herself in her room, and claimed she was studying if anyone tried to talk to her. Noin, Sally, Quatre and the others were extremely tight-lipped about what was happening, but I had a few theories – some of which I shared with my charge, not that he was willing to venture his own opinion on the subject. After nearly two weeks of watching his little sister's bizarre behaviour, my charge decided to try and find out what was wrong. He waited until the second weekend of his Thanksgiving vacation to pin her in the kitchen.

"Get away from me, Wufei," she snarled.

"No, Meiran, not until you tell me what is going on with you and Hiroshi," he said gently, like one would talk to a startled, traumatized child.

"Nothing is going on. Even if there was, why would I tell you?" she yelled, trying to push her way past him.

"I want to help you. You haven't been with Hiroshi or Yukari in nearly two weeks..."

"SHUT UP!" She shoved him full force into the table, knocking the air out of him. "JUST SHUT UP!"

- You hit a nerve, - I sent.

- Shut up. – I didn't need our connection to know how angry he was then.

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"Wufei, Mei and Hiro had a very big and public breakup. At the beginning of the month, I suppose," Relena said sadly. After the fight with his sister, Wufei went over to her house to commiserate and to get as much information as he could.

"Hiro hasn't talked to me since your birthday party..."

"And Yukari won't talk to either of us, although that fact isn't headline news. She's always hated me... Ever since that dance four years ago."

"Lena..."

"I know, Fei, but since then Mei won't even acknowledge anyone but her teachers. Whatever it is, they're all being extremely hush-hush. If it was anyone but Hiro, I'd say he cheated on her with Kimberly White."

"Mei would have killed him already if that was the case."

"Hiro's not stupid enough to do that besides. He was actually begging her to reconsider. In front of the rest of the basketball team."

"Fuck."

"Fei, this is serious. You know how I feel about Hiro, but I can't watch him go through this. I can't help him. I just get to see him completely miserable, while the girl he loves tortures the both of them. What can I do?" she sobbed.

- You should hug her, - I sent to my charge while I dealt with Noin, who'd been crying the last five minutes. The black haired angel put her head down on my shoulder and cried into my braid. At that point, Wufei and Relena moved to a secondary priority as I gave my attention to my unhappy friend.

"She won't stop crying. Ever since then, she's locked herself in her room and does nothing but cry."

"Relena? She looks fine now, Noin."

"No, Meiran. She called a few days ago and just cried. Relena tried to get her to talk about what was going on, but there was no reply. Just sobbing."

"It has to do with the reason she broke up with Hiroshi. Of that, I'm sure," I said quietly.

A sudden noise made us both look at our charges, only to find then hugging one another – Relena crying into Wufei's silky locks and the boy sitting like a stone statue. I could see the grief and anger in his eyes, but his compassion and love for both his sister and his best friend resided there.

"Go home, Fei," Relena muttered, wiping her tear-stained face with a linen handkerchief. "Your dad is going to want you at home, with the wedding so close." A bright smile stole across her pretty face, and it felt as if a dagger had been plunged into my heart. "I'll be okay now. Oh, and tell your parents that I'll be over after dinner to help go over last minute preparations."

"You're doing too much," he warned her with a small smile.

"Like you aren't?" The girl stood up. "Now, leave." A quick peck on the cheek preceded a playful push. "Get out, you."

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No sooner had the family finished dinner before the front door flew open. "Mei, I know you're here," a panicked voice called.

"I don't want to see you," she yelled while running full speed to her room. Tao-Mee and Xu exchanged worried looks, and then the older woman followed the girl upstairs. Wufei stopped his father before the older man made it to the door of the dining room.

"I've got it," he said tightly, his brows creased in a look of curious annoyance. Strolling into the living room, my charge caught his friend by the arm and steered him to one of the couches. "Calm down, Hiro."

"I can't, Fei. She..." The Japanese boy's face crumpled and he quickly buried it in his hands so no one could see him cry. "I haven't been able to eat, sleep... I even forgot about our game last week."

"Has she told you why this happened?"

"No, and I've asked. Repeatedly. She won't take my calls, rips up any letters I send, ignores my emails – ignores me at school, even though our seats are right next to one another in four classes."

"You know how moody she is."

"Fei, I feel like... my world just came crashing down on me. Can you please not joke?" The sheer amount of misery and self-pity wafting from Hiroshi would have made any fan girl squeal in delight. All it did for Wufei was make him shift uncomfortably next to him.

"She hasn't talked to anyone since she broke up with you – not me, not Mother, not Father, not even Yukari." - Best to leave out the call to Lena. -

- Probably. It would just only add to his sorrow, - I sent, slowly thinking over the situation. - Just reaffirm the fact that the two of you are still friends. That's what he needs right now. - We were both ignoring the fact that Hiroshi had been all but non-existent since Wufei told his sister about Treize.

"I don't know what to do to get her to take me back," Hiroshi said pitifully.

"First of all, stop crying," Xu said from the other side of the room. "Secondly, get a full night's rest and a proper meal, Hiroshi. You look like Hell. Thirdly, take a shower and put on some clean clothes. Your parents are worried about you. Talk to them. They love you and can help you through this mess my stubborn daughter has caused. But, most of all, give her space. She will talk when she is ready."

"Alright, Mr. Chang," the boy said unhappily as he stood up. "I'll call you later, Wufei."

"Those two," Xu said wearily once they were alone, "are going to be the death of your mother and me."

"And me?" Wufei quirked one slender eyebrow inquisitively.

"I don't worry about you, my son. You are strong, smart, handsome, and you have Relena Peacecraft to act as your social conscience. What is there to worry about?" Xu chuckled and patted the boy's shoulder before joining him on the couch. "What do you know of this ordeal?"

"Well, Father..."

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The silence and distance between Wufei and Meiran continued as the wedding preparations moved along as planned. Even though they worked closely together everyday, neither teen spoke unless they absolutely had to do so. Their behaviour was really getting to poor Hilde. She was starting to become exceedingly withdrawn and fidgety. It was extremely odd for her to be so emotionally involved in any charge, let alone a girl who had pushed her away to nothing more than an annoyance that Meiran just barely tolerated. Nothing I could do or say would bring her out of her own funk, like she had for me, and it saddened me endlessly, but I knew that she'd either come out of it, or Quatre would deal with her in his own way.

Relena flitted between the two and their parents, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. The day before the nuptials, she cornered Wufei in his bedroom, breathless and flushed. He cocked an eyebrow at her in question, but said nothing regarding her odd behaviour. "I ran here," she exhaled.

"I can see that," he responded.

"He... asked... me..."

"What?"

"To go with him tomorrow."

"To the wedding?"

"Yes!" He sighed in reply, stealing a look in the direction of his sister's room. "I know but he doesn't want to face her alone right now."

"And you've never been able to tell him no, even when you know you should."

"Oh, don't nag. I know what he's doing. And I know that makes me a pathetic sap, but I want to see him smile again."

"You're so full of it, Relena. You want him to notice how much you obsess over him. He has. He likes you, Lena, but he loves Mei. I..." He stopped to gather his thoughts.

- Don't stop now. She needs to hear it from someone she loves and respects, - I sent to him.

"I know you know all of this already. Just... don't get your hopes up too high with that guy. I hate seeing you cry."

She gave him a small, sad smile. "Thank you, Wufei."

"Shut up and help me arrange the seats out back."

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The wedding went off without any incidents. Relena, Meiran, and Wufei had covered every inch of the backyard with yellow roses, daisies, and blue forget-me-nots. The bridesmaids (Relena, Meiran, and a friend of Tao-Mee's from college) wore dresses the same shade of blue as the flowers. Wufei and Xu wore gorgeously tailored traditional silk suits, in dark blue for Xu and jade green for Wufei. The sight of him in those silks with his inky black hair loose was enough to take even my breath away.

Needless to say that I was more than a little stunned when I saw the look of lust in his eyes that mirrored my own feelings. "Stop staring at me, Duo," he said in a low voice.

"Can't help it, Fei," I whispered. My surprise only escalated when he pushed me against the wall nearest his bed. "Wh-" He kissed me then. For the first time, I couldn't hear or feel anything but him. Just him. And then, it was over and he was off to the rest of the world.

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The ceremony was a mixture of traditional and modern, with only close family and friends attending. By the time Xu and Tao-Mee were presented as newlyweds, the only person not moved to at least sniffling was Meiran. She spent the whole time with the most painfully fake smile and the saddest eyes that I've ever seen. Every look at Relena and Hiroshi brought such a stab of misery to those eyes that were just like those of my charge that even I felt it.

As soon as the dancing, eating and cavorting was over, the girl ran to her room and locked the door. Nothing Wufei could say garnered a response from her bedchamber. Tao-Mee fared a bit better with a grunt of acknowledgement when she let the girl know that she and Xu would be leaving for their honeymoon. So it came as no big deal that Wufei's declaration of leaving got nary a peep from his sister.

- Spending the night at Relena's? - I asked innocently as he packed a small overnight bag.

- No, I'm going to Treize's. - Those five words did something to me that I couldn't explain. Suddenly, my whole world was red.

- Treize? -

- Yes, Treize. Want to give me a reason why I should stay? -

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. If I told him how I felt, then I'd forfeit my position as his Personal Angel. While that thought pained me more than anything, losing him to Treize was preferable to what amounted to exile for me. With these thoughts running through my mind and a heavy heart, I slowly shook my head.

A flash of anger stabbed at me, but it wasn't my own. I could have sworn I heard Wufei mutter the word coward right before he slammed the door on his way out. He was right.

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I didn't need to be right there to know what was going on. The rush of nervous energy, lust, excitement, and, later, satisfaction tinged with guilt was more than enough. Even a bad angel could have told you that Wufei had had sex with Treize. And that fact made me wish I couldn't feel anything at all.

I don't really remember where I went that night when I felt the first flash from my charge. I just needed to move – from him, the feelings, my own hatred... everything.

I do remember materializing to a fully corporeal form and smelling the salt of the ocean. Slowly, I began to notice warm, strong arms wrapped around my thin frame. They felt oddly familiar and strangely comforting. It wasn't until I heard his voice that I knew who it was. "My poor, poor Beloved. You care so deeply for the rat and yet he can't -wait- to run off and fuck his cheating boyfriend."

"Go away, Solo," I said weakly, too distraught to fight him.

"I'm not so sure that's what you want, Duo," he purred, tightening his left arm around me while his right hand began to caress my face. "By the way you're leaning against me, I'd say you want me to stay." To my dismay, my head was actually tilted towards his stroking fingertips. "I've never cheated on you, Beloved."

"You -left- me, Solo," I said hotly, trying to pull away, but he was ready for that and increased his hold.

"I begged you to come with me," he replied, his voice dripping with poison. "Begged you, and wanted to die when you sanctimoniously told me to go to Hell."

"You betrayed me in the worst way possible, Soliriel," I hissed, spinning around to glare at him.

"I love you," he whispered – right before kissing me deeply. I don't know if it was my confused feelings for Solo, Wufei's emotions leaking out, my despair, or a mixture of all of the above, but I didn't fight him again. If anything, I was giving in, wrapping my arms around his neck and moaning low in my throat – the way I had when Wufei kissed me earlier that day. The feel of his arms, the way his lips tasted, and the freedom of losing myself for just a moment was intoxicating. It was only when he bit my lips that I pulled away.

"Come away with me," he pleaded gently, pulling me flush against him once more. "I don't care about that boy and your feelings for him. Come away with me and we can be together again. The way we're supposed to be."

"No," I yelled, shoving him as hard as I could away from me. "No, Solo. Never."

"Good answer, Diachriel," the Archangel Michael boomed, his flaming sword taking off lengths of Solo's black hair, instead of his head. The demon had vanished as soon as he'd heard his enemy.

"Damn you, Mikey," Lilith screamed behind him, her red nails digging into his neck like tiny daggers. "I told you to just let me take them both out while they kissed, but no! 'No harm must come to Diachriel.' Fuck Diachriel. Fuck Soliriel. Fuck you, Michael." Her eyes flashed like twin lakes of fire and her face took on a twisted, ugly look. "If either of you get in my way of catching that little shit, I'll kill you." She disappeared in a flash of smoke, leaving the signature of sulfur behind.

"You should be with your charge, Diachriel," Michael stated calmly, as if neither of us had been threatened by one of Hell's own.

"You should be following one of the demons that just left."

"Stay out of the she-devil's way and out of Soliriel's grasp. Both are out for blood and I'd hate to have to report your death to the Almighty."

"Oh, shut up," I snapped, shoving my way past him. "I'll do my job and you can attempt to do yours." Barely touching my link to Wufei, I could tell that he'd fallen into a fitful sleep. But, I didn't want to see him. For the first time since he'd been born, I couldn't handle even the thought of him.

Unfortunately, what Solo had said was still rolling around in my head. He told me he loved me, but I knew that as a demon he wasn't capable of the emotion. He wanted to possess me, to control my feelings, to restrict my movements. That wasn't love; it was obsession. Even knowing that, the freedom of misery he was offering was tempting. But it wasn't even real freedom – it was a form of Hell, the worst kind.

However, his offer of someone wanting only me was enticing. Sharing Wufei with Treize was slowly killing me. I'd made the comparison between Relena and myself, but it hit home then just how similar and different our situations really were. She was just better off than I was right then. Or so I thought...


TBC