The End

Disclaimer: I don’t own DB/Z/GT or any of the characters found in this fic. They are the property of TOEI ANIMATION in Japan and FUNimation in the U.S.A. I am also not making any money from this work of fanfiction.

In addition, I do not own the song or the words to the song ‘Possession,’ by the artist Sarah Mclachlan.


A/N: Another First person P.O.V.

This chapter is dedicated to Vegeta's Mate.

Another warm THANK YOU goes out to Pixelgoddess. She was more of a muse than a beta for this chapter. (Any one who wishes to review, please send her a thank you.)

Warnings-
OOC, no lemons or limes, lots of angst… at least I hope.


Chapter 2 - Darkest


I certainly wasn’t taking him back to his house. The memories involved there would be more than enough to knock him back to the brink I had barely wrestled him from. Not only that, but I didn’t know if it had been the harpy’s intention to go back there herself.

Capsule Corp. would be warm and inviting, but it wasn’t a place I wanted to go to in this situation. The woman – Bulma – would already see my actions as a betrayal, and my planned confession to Kakarott would only compound the issue. I had never promised her anything, but humans don’t adapt to changes well. I’d bet anything this was one of the reasons his now ex-wife had left him. She couldn’t deal with the uncertainty of her husband leaving without notice or, worse yet, dying.

I have visited so few places on this planet, most of them desolate, with no inhabitants. The places I was familiar with weren’t going to welcome me with open arms. Kame house? I almost snorted in disgust I had even considered it an option. The android and the pervert weren’t going to give a damn if I showed up at their doorstep with Kakarott in tow: they both had questionable pasts themselves. Cue ball couldn’t be trusted enough to stay out of the fucking way though. I had proven myself time and time again to be an ally, but hate or fear refused to let the ex-monk see the adjustments I had made to fit into this planet’s ‘socially acceptable’ code.

Kami’s Lookout was a tempting refuge for all of twenty seconds. The green little runt that ran the place couldn’t totally be trusted. I knew the so-called ‘God’ still had issues about my past as well. My history, my species, really had no place in his scheme of things, other than what sort of aid we could give during an emergency. I’d never tether myself willingly to his rule. I hadn’t gained my freedom from a tyrant just to subject myself thoughtlessly to another’s regulations.

Also, it would be one of the first places Kakarott’s friends would come to look for him: especially if trouble came knocking on this planet’s atmosphere. He had enough to deal with, without burdening himself with the weaklings’ problems. They’d just have to learn to handle a crisis without their precious hero. As much disgust as I proclaimed to have with Kakarott’s ‘human’ behavior at times, I took secretly pride in the fact it was his Sayian hand that, more than once, had stayed this planet from annihilation.

He, no, we needed time and space. Time to relearn where we stood. Space to feel the autonomy our race hadn’t enjoyed in a century. I had no clue where to go to find such things on this mud ball. I’d have to improvise.

“Come on Kakarott,” I whispered as I started rising from our position on the ground, “You can’t kneel in the dirt forever,” His hysterical sobbing had stopped some time ago, but tears still fell freely from his eyes, and his body frequently shuddered with waves of grief.

I understood grief – I had lost more than Kakarott could ever comprehend, but I would never let it overwhelm me the way he was. Grief itself was not a weakness; used properly it was a powerful tool. I had learned long ago how to convert loss into rage, gaining strength from the transformation. Kakarott was not using his grief to become angry, he was letting it drag him down, acting as if this loss was not something he could over come.

Bleary, red-shot eyes opened briefly, the first acknowledgement I had gotten from him so far he was still conscious of his surroundings, “’Geta?”

The tired muddle of my name was the first word he had spoken since the harpy had discarded him. “Sha,” I spoke much more gently than he was used to me speaking towards him. “Can you fly? We need to fly.”

He rose unsteadily, threatening to collapse into a heap at my feet. I couldn’t remember ever seeing Kakarott so weak and helpless before; his emotional distress had sapped his phenomenal strength. I scowled as I realized he wouldn’t be able to fly unaided in this state.

I bent to lift him over my shoulder, mentally cursing our height difference. I hadn’t even taken off before the consequences of these actions became apparent. Kakarott’s long arms and legs seemed to be everywhere at once. I tried to get a better grip on him, my hand cupping the curve of his ass before I realized what I was doing. I immediately moved it, but it was too late.

“Vegeta? Put me down,” Kakarott demanded, his legs swinging wildly as he struggled to regain his freedom. One strayed too close, and he managed to kick me in the groin before I even had a chance to defend myself. I grunted in pain as my knees buckled, falling forward, and taking the other sayian down with me. I lay there for a moment in a daze, my eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. This was a fine mess I found myself in. I opened them when Kakarott started to try to get up, only then realizing I was between his legs with my head on his hip.

I pushed myself away hastily, and hoped Kakarott hadn’t seen my blush.

No luck there.

“Sorry Vegeta,” Kakarott said, apparently taking the reddening of my face to be anger rather than embarrassment.

I growled in frustration: the two strongest beings on the planet, helpless to move. Even though I thought I knew the answer, I asked again, stalling, hoping an idea would come, “Are you sure you can’t fly?”

When he didn’t respond at first, I thought he hadn’t heard me. I was about to start our first leg of this journey by walking when he mumbled, “I can’t, but… nimbus.”

Nimbus? Who or what was nimbus? I hadn’t a clue.

“NIMBUS!” The call caught me off guard, and I thought for certain he’d gone back over the edge. I wondered what sort of pharmaceuticals it would take for him to be in his right mind again. I certainly was going to have my work cut out for me.

I tensed up, readying to drag him along with me when he stopped me by saying, “Wait.”

I looked over at his profile, wondering what was going through his mind. Once again I was caught off guard when something yellow flew in from nowhere, only to stop mere inches off of the ground at Kakarott’s side.

“What the hell is that thing?” I growled. Just when I thought I had seen everything odd about this planet, Kakarott showed me just how little I knew.

“It’s a nimbus,” he said. “It’s how I used to get around when I was a child and didn’t know how to fly. You can lay me down on it,” he directed.

I started to lean him back, and the dubious looking transportation device came up to shorten the distance. Once he was seated, he drew his legs up so they weren’t dangling over the edge. I looked at the weird, little yellow vehicle wondering how I was supposed to program it for a flight pattern. I went to put my hand on it, and lost my balance, falling through the damn thing. “What the hell?” I demanded from my position on the ground.

“It won’t let you ride it Vegeta. It’s sort of… temperamental,” Kakarott said, almost apologetically.

“Fine, how do you get it to move?” I grumbled, picking myself up off the ground.

“It’ll go where I want it to go,” Kakarott informed me.

“Great,” I said thinking. I didn’t have a clue where we were going, how was I supposed to tell the third-class where to direct the thing if I didn’t have an answer.

“I’ll just tell it to follow you,” Kakarott solved my dilemma for me.

I nodded even though Kakarott had his eyes closed and couldn’t see the gesture. I used my ki to levitate a couple of feet off the ground, and even though I hadn’t heard Kakarott say a word, the cloud-like transportation followed and stopped when I did.

The wind whistling past my ears was the only sound I heard for sometime. Thoughts and memories were my only real companions as I crossed over variable landscapes. I crossed one great body of water I had learned was called a sea. It wasn’t as big as what they called an ocean on this planet, but still, the lack of distractions diminished the mental barrier I had barely held onto. This change in Kakarott’s life was renewing long suppressed desires. Before, I had believed it would be decades before Kakarott was on his own. The possibility of that changing had been so unlikely as to be unthinkable. Now I no longer had the safety net of time. I was almost at a loss as to what to do now that this unexpected turn of events had been thrown in both of our directions.

There was an hour or so of sunlight left. I hoped I would find shelter before nightfall. Something indoors with a roof was preferable, but I’d settle for a cave if I had to. I guessed there really wasn’t a perfect setting for the subject I was about to lay at Kakarott’s feet. I’d never seriously considered being with anyone else long-term before. Even worse, I doubted Kakarott had even thought of a relationship with a male, let alone me. How was I to go about telling him he was the only one I could possibly consider as a mate? From the first time I saw him fight, no less? The length of time I had spent waiting for this opportunity was laughable. The last couple of years I had even started to question my sanity in the matter.

And I was worried. How would Kakarott react once he knew how I felt about him? Or for how long I had felt this way? I growled at myself, as I had many times in the past. I was a fool for feeling this way about him, but that was the funny thing about it; I couldn’t and hadn’t been able to change it, no matter how I had tried, trained or bled.

I glanced back every now and then to make sure the cloud was keeping up and hadn’t let its passenger fall through it.

The sun had already set by the time I thought I had found something suitable, although the sky was still indigo rather than the true black of night. A large cabin nestled in the woods by itself with tall conifers growing around it. Someone had certainly taken their time in finding a site with lots of privacy; I almost hadn’t spotted it. I was going to use their placement and vacancy to fill my requirements.

I settled on the wooden deck that surrounded three-quarters of the living structure, the nimbus following faithfully after me like some sort of pet as I looked for an entrance to the building; Kakarott had curled into a fetal position when he fell asleep sometime during my search. I found the entry placed directly under the peak of the steeped roof.

I tried the doorknob, but found the usual residents had locked it. Kakarott stirred from his fitful doze as I pulled the outside of the knob away from the door, and the other half fell inside the building with a clattering sound. I pushed the door open before I turned and put a shoulder under one of his arms to help lift him from his position. The fickle thing took off as soon as Kakarott wasn’t sitting on it any more.

“You know this is breaking and entering?” the baka asked me.

“And?” I asked right back. I didn’t really care if it was. It would be the least of the crimes I had ever committed.

“Just thought I would let you know,” he said.

“I don’t need you to be my conscience,” I told him, and then started forward, pulling his weight with me. I took it slow so he could keep his balance as he stepped gingerly. I really began to wonder what sort of damage he had done to himself.

The first door had led into a sort of foyer with a second door about six steps from the first. Thankfully it wasn’t locked.

I felt for a light switch on the wall when we made it past the second door. Finding one, I flipped it up, and a light source came on overhead. Who ever owned this establishment had very eccentric tastes. There were animal heads hanging on the wall, all of them seeming to stare at me accusingly for interrupting their slumber. What I had mistaken for carpeting on some of the floored areas were actually large furs. The light source was actually a bunch of bones I had learned somewhere were called antlers, with light bulbs shaped like candle flames somehow attached. The light was dim enough that it gave the impression it was just candles.

There was a large stone fire structure sectioning off the two main purposes for the living area immediately in front of us. The section to the right of it seemed to be a dining and kitchen area: the kitchen recessed back from the stone structure. The left section seemed to be a lounging area. “Are you hungry?” I asked Kakarott. Personally, I was starving.

“No. I just really want some rest,” he responded to my question. I walked him over to the couch in the lounging section, since I didn’t see any obvious sleeping areas. I eased him down onto the piece of furniture, and then stood back up.

I knew what he was going through, sort of. There’d been plenty of times in my past I was more than happy to take long purging missions, just to be able to put the sleep inducers on and escape my reality for just a little while.

I walked over to the kitchen, hoping I wouldn’t have to go back out and hunt. I was in luck when I opened a door in an odd spot and found a pantry. It was full of dry foodstuffs and canned goods, but I could make do. It was certainly better fare than I had had on some purging missions.

The refrigerator was absolutely empty though. I’d have to fill Kakarott’s and my bellies on starches this evening. I’d worry about protein needs tomorrow.

I started digging around in the cupboards looking for pots to start water boiling. The ones I found were pathetically small in comparison to the amount of noodles and rice I had planned on boiling. I was going to have to have all four burners on the cooking unit going.

It wasn’t until after I had finished my first step towards dinner that I felt like someone was watching me. I turned and found Kakarott’s eyes following my every move from where he lay on the couch. He had pulled one of the furs up from the floor to cover himself. I hadn’t even known he was cold.

Knowing he had my attention, he spoke, “Vegeta, am I dreaming? Is this some sort of nightmare?”

I shook my head in a negative motion, but before I could actually speak, he continued. “I just want to wake up, and everything will be okay.”

“Why would you believe this to be a dream?” I asked him.

“Chichi would never leave me. You’re… well, you’re being too nice to me. You’re cooking. You never cook.”

I wanted to tell him how little he knew about me. “You’re not dreaming Kakarott,” I answered him honestly. Reality hurt sometimes, but I wouldn’t string him along on false hopes. False hopes and fantasies had never done me much good in the past. I hoped the one I had held onto the longest would turn out better than those disappointments had.

He rolled onto his back after my statement. Then he turned over so his back was to me. His shoulders started the shake, and I knew he was crying another batch of tears. He pulled the fur up over his head.

“Why?!” I heard the muffled scream into the upholstery of the couch. The tips of hair peeking out from under the fur he had covered himself with bleached gold for a moment and then turned back to ebony. This slight indication his strength might be returning, and he was now physically able to channel ki made me feel both concern and relief. I doubted he had much control over his power at the moment. While he hadn’t done any lasting damage to anyone, including himself, in his current state of mind this could change at any moment. As much as I knew I could easily take him this time if it came to a fight that was the last thing I wanted - or he needed.

“Kakarott, you’re acting like a child,” I said in disgust, trying to distract him. I thought about what I knew of his past, and realized that nothing this world had offered him had prepared him emotionally for such a rude awakening. Life had been a walk in the park for him until now.

He turned swiftly back to face me, his expression finally showing anger as well as grief. “She took everything from me Vegeta. You shouldn’t have stopped me,” his eyes blazed aqua, tips of his hair once again turned gold.

“You did that on purpose?” I asked angrily. I had thought his nearly dying had been an accident caused by shock, not something he had actually contemplated, “You’d dare to take such an easy way out? Life throws one non-dragon ball solvable problem at you, and you choose suicide? How pathetic, selfish and cowardly!” I berated him, not even realizing I was advancing towards him with every word.

“No, I didn’t do that on purpose. Don’t you dare call me a coward Vegeta,” he hissed at me warningly. I was a little surprised at how defensive he was. I hadn’t known my opinion of him made that much of a difference.

“Don’t you presume to tell me what to say,” I hissed back, “I’ll call you a coward if I think you are being one,” I told him coldly. I was frustrated at my inability to make him see how out of control he was of his emotions. By this time, I was standing next to him, my head bent over so I could look down at him. “You’ve got to fight this before it tears you down. Or forgive,” I amended, remembering whom I was talking to, “but don’t let this destroy you.”

“Why shouldn’t I? I have nothing left to live for. She made sure of that.”

How narrow minded of him to think he had nothing to live for! Didn’t he see a reason standing right in front of him? Apparently being one of the last two sayians left alive meant nothing to him. I had hoped over the years he had come to think of me as friend, if not something more, but what if I was wrong? What if my own desires had blinded me, and I was nothing more than an occasional distraction for him?

He meant something to me though. I guess he didn’t realize I had saved him for my own personal motives: my own sanity.

My anger and instincts blinded me for a moment, and my body took action without thought. Before I had a chance to question what I was doing, I had straddled my legs over his body and grabbed what was left of the front of his gi top.

“Vegeta?! Let me go!” he insisted while trying to loosen my grip on his clothing.

“Not this time,” I whispered angrily, and then I leaned in and kissed him. I pressed my body against his as he started to struggle in shock. I took one of my hands away from his shirt in order to gain a hold on the back of his head, and continued kissing him, forcing my tongue past his shocked lips.

This wasn’t how I had intended to broach the subject, or maybe it was. I had never had fantasies about persuading him with words. I’ve always been much better at actions than words; instincts and body language were my best assets when broaching emotional matters.

His efforts to escape lessened and the pressure from his hands on my chest started to ease. His hands gradually moved until he was cupping the back of my head, his palms resting gently on the sides of my neck, fingers combing tentatively through my hair, tongue timidly daring into my mouth.

Until that moment, when the reality he might want this as well became apparent, I hadn’t felt aroused. His reactions were almost my undoing, but I would not be so unfeeling to believe he was ready for what I was asking without words. I wanted him to want me for me, not some sort of crutch to get him past the moment.

I parted my lips from his, and as he started sucking air into his lungs, I leaned over him, my breath against his ear. “Listen well Kakarotto, because my pride demands I only say this once. I need you. If you feel that is not enough for you to stay on this plane of existence, then so be it. I won’t fight you or myself about it any more, and I’ll help you go, but I will not allow you to kill yourself.” Kakarott’s spirit was still pure – suicide would destroy that. If he truly could not bear to continue, for his sake I would kill him myself – what difference would the blood of one more make to an already condemned soul?

He took a hesitant breath, but said nothing at my declaration. I had made similar declarations to him in the past, but I didn’t know if he had ever taken them seriously before. I leaned back from him then, wiping some of the tears still wetting his face across his cheek. The moisture mixed with the dried blood still adorning his face, leaving a dark smudge the width of my thumb along his cheek.

He remained silent, closing his eyes as I got up from my place on his lap. I said nothing either, turning towards the door. I intended to find the coldest mountain stream around and dunk myself in it for hours. Out here, in the middle of nowhere, it was the best diversion I could think of.

I found exactly what I was looking for not too far away. I disrobed at the stream’s edge and climbed into the icy water. I tried unsuccessfully not to think as I watched the stars slide slowly across the sky, waiting for morning to come. It went against my nature to plead or cajole; Kakarott would have to make his own decision now. I had stated some of my intentions and all that was left to do was wait. Still, not being willing to influence the outcome and not being able to were very different things. At first, the frigid water managed to distract me, but too soon my thoughts returned to the other sayian in the cabin. The kiss would replay in my head, and the icy water meant nothing, my blood boiling at the memory of Kakarott’s fire. It took all of my concentration to ignore the heat passing through me, trying in vain to only focus on the coldness of the water surrounding me.

I stayed in there for hours, the chillness of the water finally overcoming me; I was shivering as the sun started to herald dawn. The stars that had kept me company throughout the night were fading away one by one. The weakest first, until only two bright ones remained visible in the slowly brightening sky. I heard a snap of a twig behind me: my only warning. Kakarott.

I turned towards him, gritting my teeth to keep them from chattering, making it impossible to speak. In truth, I didn’t know if I wanted to speak, since my first impulse was to demand to know what decision he had made. I swore to myself I would keep my promise, if that was what he had decided, but that didn’t mean that was what I wanted to do.

I noticed he had managed to clean himself up somewhat. There were black stains still on his clothing, but his countenance was clean.

“There’s a shower in the hunting lodge Vegeta,” he said, seemingly mistaking my reason for being neck deep and naked in a snow-run-off creek. He extended his hand to help me out of the water. My elbow protested painfully as I reached for his hand.

“The burners were still on when you left. I had to get up to turn them off or risk the cabin burning down around me,” he scolded. I didn’t understand what he was getting at. Then he was taking in my appearance with a great show of concern, “How long have you been in there Vegeta? Your toes are turning blue.”

I shrugged, trying to indicate that I had no clue, as my jaw still wasn’t working. I started back in the direction I thought the building might be in, and he reached down to pick up my discarded garments.

Walking warmed me up a little bit; I wasn’t shaking nearly as bad once I reached the building. “Where’s the shower?” I asked.

“Through that door,” Kakarott pointed to a door in the wall at the foot of the couch I hadn’t noticed last night.

I nodded my thanks, and walked through the archway.

The heated water felt incredible, but my muscles hadn’t lost much of the tension they were harboring, when Kakarott stepped into the bathroom and started to speak to me through the shower’s curtain.

“I’ll need time to grieve Vegeta,” the tension in my neck and back suddenly left with his words. He hadn’t said no – there was hope. He paused - I guess waiting for my response. When I didn’t give one immediately, he continued, “Will you give me that?”

My head dropped down to my chest as I totally relaxed for the first time in hours, “Yes, I can give you that.”

“Good, I am going to go and hunt something down now. I am starving,” I chuckled as he left me to finish my shower.

A suicidal sayian didn’t eat. It was his way of letting me know I did have some sort of influence in his life. Something about what had happened gave him a reason to stay, and although I knew he did have an emotional process to go through, I hoped it wouldn’t be too long before I could kiss him again - and more.

_________________________________________________________________

Possession by Sarah McLachlan


Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

Through this world I’ve stumbled
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
To find the truth enslaved
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
You speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
You words keep me alive

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander
It’s morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of
The path I fear to tread
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Nothing stands between us here
And I won’t be denied

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear