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Stupid Obsessions	By : CardDragonBall Category: Dragon Ball Z > Het - Male/Female Views: 6769 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Stupid Obsessions
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10--the END
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- 2
- 3
Stupid Obsessions 2

It had puzzled him. Honestly, he had spent the better part of the day sitting in the onna's kitchen contemplating how he was going to get the baka back to their house and into his (and Bulma's) bed. He didn't think saying: "I want to fuck you. Bulma does too" would go over well. He could be extremely wrong--Kakarot was a weird sort of person. Bra had gone to play with her toddler group (a thing that Bulma had found and insisted to be a good idea. They had kept Trunks away from other kids because he was very strong, but little Bra wa more human than not.)

Bulma returned from whatever she had been doing (yes, they had been together for years and he still couldn't even sit through her explanation of what she did. It was boring.) "It's not that complicated," she said.

He ignored her.

"When he was younger, Goku had very vivid dreams you know. When we were travelling together he would curl up away from me at night because he had very vivid dreams." A sigh, a look on her face like she was reminiscing about the good old days when she was hanging out with a midget-sized Kakarot and his puberty-induced wet dreams. "Anyway. If he's going to do it then he'll do it, but if you trick him he won't. So just go find him and ask him."

Vegeta snorted.

"I'm serious Vegeta. Just try not to call him a baka, third-class moron or Kakarot-Clown-of-the-Troglodytes." Then she got a glass of water, drank it, and disappeared again. Leaving him in the kitchen pondering whether he should be more upset by the fact that his woman wanted to be with someone else. Especially since it was Kakarot.

Curiosity outweighed his dark thoughts though and he decided that he would just do what she suggested. The baka didn't take hints very well anyway. In fact, he didn't take hints at all. He flew the distance from where he was to where Kakarot was and found him on his back, naked, in the sun, with his hand curling around his erection all like it was so normal to be out here doing that.

The smirk on his face was a habitual reaction. "And I thought this would be difficult."

Kakarot rolled onto his side and looked at him. Pulled his hand away from his nether parts and chuckled uneasily before he stood up (still naked) and scratched the back of his head. "Heh-heh--Hi, Vegeta."

The smirk got wider on his face, and it was becoming increasingly more difficult not to laugh at the look on the baka's face. He controlled the urge though (he was pretty sure that he should not laugh at the man he was about to proposition.) "Want to have sex?" he asked.

If possible, Kakarot's eyes would have fallen out of his skull. "Wh-wh-wh-what?!" He was suddenly bashful because he grabbed his cloths and clutched them to his waist. "Out here?! Now? What about Bulma? Is this a trick? And I am so not being on the bottom."

The last comment was really the only one that he heard. "I'm not either! I'm the Prince of all Saiyans...you...moron!" Wait, hadn't Bulma told him not to call Kakarot a moron?

"So? I know what boys do to each other, Vegeta--Master Roshi explained it to me and Gohan and Piccolo. I don't want you...there..." The baka had managed not to blush as he spouted all this. He just grew increasingly more defensive and the clothes that he had been clutching to his chest slowly slid down again and his arms relaxed.

Vegeta was willing to let this conversation drop--this part of the conversation--but then Kakarot opened his stupid mouth and added:

"Besides, you're the littler one. The smallest one is always on the bottom."

This, you see, was an insult that could not be ignored. Therefore, he felt it was perfectly in his right to march up to the bastard and kick him in his (naked) gut. He flew back, scrambled to get his footing in the air and landed in the lake. Which was probably fairly cold. Which was fine. "Stupid third-class-bastard!" he shouted. "You waste of genetics! How did you SURVIVE when everyone else in our race died!" He felt his hands curling up into fists and he tried to calm the shudder that ran through him. It was fine to shout at the water because if Kakarot could even hear him it was garbled and dimmed because of the water.

When the baka did make it back to the surface he flew back over to the bank, dropped his wet clothes on the ground and leaned down over Vegeta (just to show that he was bigger) "Why did you come here and ask me about sex, Vegeta? Aren't you with Bulma?"

The baka was ignoring what he had done, he was just trying not to respond. It was some stupid pacificist thing. "She's the one that sent me," Vegeta snarled.

This was apparenlty astounding. Kakarot stepped back, scrubbed his wet head again and bit his lip. "And you're...okay...with that?"

"I'll be there too," Vegeta said. Very calm and rationally he thought. Watching Kakarot stand there in the sun with the water dripping down the lines of his muscles was making Vegeta more aware of the fact that it would probably take one hell of a fight to get Kakarot convinced he was the one that needed to be the uke. He had expected naivete and that wasn't what Kakarot reacted with.

~~~***

Not that Bulma doubted Vegeta's considerable sex appeal or his tenacity or his undying ability to be so charming and convincing (ok, that last one was sarcasm) but she expected him to come home with bruises, broken bones or if things went badly--in a body bag. She did not expect him to come home, glowering, with a mostly naked, mostly wet Goku behind him.

"Feed him," Vegeta said.

And Goku cracked his patented Son grin and gave her that 'aren't I so cute you could die' look. "I'm really hungry."

She should have realized it would just take a good meal. That was probably all it took Chichi to convince Goku that he needed to marry her. Some really good rice and he was hers forever. "Uh..." she said, suddenly aware that she had just sent her not-husband out to find her someone else to sleep with and now that he had fulfilled his half of the bargian she was going to have to fulfill hers.

Goku sat at the table and gave her a cheerful look. "So why'd you want to have sex with me, Bulma?" Like this was a normal question. "And how did you convince Vegeta? I mean, that one time I told the old Kai that he could kiss you if he helped us I thought Vegeta was going to kill me when he found out..."

Bulma was unaware of this bargain. Vegeta turned around (he had been on his way out of the kitchen) and looked at her. Arms crossed over his chest and the smuggest grin on his face she had ever seen. Like he was waiting for her answer.

The backdoor opened, Trunks came in. "Oh, hi Goku. Why are you here?"

Both her and Vegeta reacted to that statement immediately, she opened her mouth to say something and Vegeta was getting ready to yell at Goku but the taller Saiyan beat them both and informed her son that he was there for: "Sex and food." Nodded then.

Trunks turned and looked at her. "What?" Not hurt or anything, but a little surprised. In fact, mostly he just had this look on his face like he was relieved? "Really?"

"What do you mean...really?" she demanded, "And why are you all...relieved by this?"

A smirk broke out on his face then like his father's and he sighed, smiled bigger and informed the collective audience that: "I've been going out with Goten for about three years now. I thought Saiyans were all supposed to be one person for life homophobic type people." And then he (quite jauntily) turned and left again.

"That explains some things," Goku said. Didn't waste too much time on thinking about it though, he stood up and rooted around her fridge until he found something that he wanted to eat and proceeded to devour most of the contents.

Bulma went over to Vegeta. "How'd you get him here?"

"Just like you said."

"And what are we supposed to do with him now?" she asked. LIke it hadn't all been her idea. It had really seemed like a great plan when it was dark and she was whispering naughty things to Vegeta. This--her best friend in her bright kitchen in the middle of the day eating her food was something entirely different than last night.

"Well, he appears to have finished eating," Vegeta said. Then he turned and left her alone in the kitchen with the man that they had asked here to have sex with. Goku licked his lips and dropped the last of the dishes into the sink. Then just stood there.

And stood there.

"Chichi always told me what to do," he explained.

Was that supposed to be a good thing? Or was it some sort of dominatrix kink she hadn't known about. (Not that Chichi was the sort NOT to talk about her sex life. Chichi could get dirty if you asked the right questions.) "Are you sure about this Goku?"

"Piccolo told me I needed to have sex," he said. Then he chuckled a little and scratched the back of his head. But he didn't answer the question. Then again, she wasn't even sure that she wanted to do it, so she stood there for another minute and shifted from side to side and fought with herself about what to do.

Finally, she crossed the kitchen and grabbed him by the spiky black hair (it was wet and silky under her fingers) yanked him down and felt his arm go around her back as he stooped, and he seemed to understand because he found her mouth and kissed her. He curled his fingers into her side and pulled her up so she wasn't standing on the floor, just hanging there crushed agianst him and his mouth opened against her, she opened her own and felt his tongue against hers.

Absurdly she thought: I'm kissing Goku. Wow. Then she pulled away from him and blinked when he grinned. (It would figure that he would grin now like it was perfectly normal.)

And then there was clearing of a throat that did not belong to either one of them, and Both Bulma and Goku turned to look at Vegeta. He didn't look like he was going to kill them (but only slightly less than homicidal) but he didn't look like he was too happy about their little hugging thing. "Not in the kitchen," he said, "Your Mother is supposed to be bringing Bra home at five."

"Okay," Goku said, he leaned down wrapped one of his arms around her legs and hefted her up into his arms. She repressed the urge to giggle like a crazed person.

Vegeta turned and walked away and Goku followed obediantly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Vegeta: *glare*

Bulma: *giggle* Oh, Goku, you're so strong...

Goku: Yeah, you should see me without my pants on

Crowd: *blink* *slowly sneak forward*

Vegeta: Why is there a crowd?
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