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Unsettling Affairs	By : xkesshoux Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1906 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Each
individual chapter will have a different rating, different pairings,
different spoilers, and a different setting and timeline. Multiple
people were involved in writing this fic, I do not claim to have
written anything other than my own characters. I do however claim to
have come up with the plot, story idea, and organizing it all. The
others who write characters in this fic are well aware that I am
posting it, and contribute willingly. This fic is an ongoing project
with an unknown number of parts, with alternate storyline as of the
fifth laboratory incident. Enjoy!

Out
of the Freezer, Into the Fire

Rating:
PG13
Pairings: None.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.
Havoc and Izumi written by a good friend of mine, Al written by
another.
Spoilers: If you don't know about Ed and Al's
sensei, this is spoiler material.
Setting:
Dublith.
Timeline: About a week after the end of the
series, and no, things aren't exactly canon.

A nervous
mop of golden blonde poked up above a bush, just barely mind you,
gold eyes searching the streets for any sign of white and black in
the form of a certain formidable someone...

A little
10 year old blonde walked behind Ed and tugged on his red sleeve. He
was very confused and didn't remember very much, other than their
childhood together and a couple of other things. "..Hey,
Nii-san.."

The
blonde in question practically jumped out of his skin at the voice,
and the tug, gloved hand immediately covering Al's mouth. "Ayaaa!
I don't care if she was going to help last time with your memory it's
giving me the chills just being here! Come on, Aru! We're going back
to Central!"

And with
that, the elder Elric grabbed All by the wrist and dragged him at
full speed towards the city limits.

It was
there that Ed decided that anything was better than going back to
Central at the moment, or ever really. Thusly, he forced himself to
stick it out, leaving Al with directions back to Central and
information on what to do when he got there, as well as the single
issued order: To run like hell and get as far away from this town as
possible.

Ed didn't
want Al to be traumatized so soon after his restoration, what with
amnesia and everything else on top of it. It was better this way.

-----

There was
a rustling of bushes, as a blonde antennae popped up above the
leaves. Very inconspicuous, Ed. Your extra height has given you
away...who ever thought anybody would think THAT would happen?

A certain
formidable Alchemy sensei spotted the blonde-haired, amber eyed State
Alchemist. And she was none too happy about his hasty retreat from
Dublith.

"EDWARD
ELRIC!!"

Said
blonde haired State Alchemist froze, turning white as a sheet and
slowly turning around and backing out of the bushes, only to trip
over a twig and fall straight on his ass, not managing to get far as
he backed right into a wall.

Izumi
loomed over the scapegrace Ed, her eyes glowing in that scary
daemonic, evil and slightly scary way that she was so good at.

"Edward...."

"S-s-s-s-sensei
I-I-I-I-I w-wasn't e-e-expecting to s-s-see you so-so-so-soon!"
Edward stammered, trying in vain to scoot back even further under
that gaze that he knew all too well meant he was in for a severe
beating.

Izumi
brought her foot lightly down on her ex-student's stomach, applying
just enough pressure to keep him in place. "YOU." She
continued to loom, though her hand seemed to be readying some
horrible impliment of pain and punishment.

Ed
whimpered, frozen stiff. Maybe if he didn't move she would think he
was dead and leave him alone!

"Your
opossum tactics won't work on me, kiddo. You're still breathing."
The self-proclaimed housewife began to bring her paper fan down with
punishing force.

"Hey
look, Al's trying to sneak away!" Ed pointed in the opposite
direction in hopes of crying wolf and it actually working. Well, in
hopes of getting her to look away for just a fraction of a second so
he could run like hell.

Izumi
tapped the blonde lightly on the head. "Edward, I know every
single trick in the book. Trust me, I used them on my own teacher. Al
will get what's coming to him. Right now, I'm thinking of dragging
your tater-tot butt home so you can do the dishes."

"D-dishes?!"
Ed really shouldn't have been surprised at all, really, he'd come to
believe that Izumi-sensei actually got a kick out of scaring the piss
out of him...no wait, he'd confirmed that a long time ago.
"Surelet'sgoleadthewayI'mrightthere!"

Ed's
former teacher dragged him upright, tugging him to her home. "You
know, Edward, fear is good. It means you're paying attention. Don't
drag your feet, kiddo. Put one foot in front of the other. It's not
that difficult."

Edward
picked up his feet in compliance, that was after all the best way not
to get pounded into the dirt, and nodded dumbly. "Eheheh...right
right, not hard at all!"

Izumi
turned around and gave Ed a Look. "Are you even listening to me?
You're staring at me vacantly." She gave his arm a little shake.

Ed gulped
and focused his eyes. "Yeah of course I am!" Man I
rreeaaally need to get out of here why the hell did I come here Al
please save me!

Keeping
her iron-tight grip on her former student's arm, Izumi looked around
curiously. "Where on Earth has your brother gotten to? I could
have sworn he was hanging around your bush."

I hope
he got away I hope he got away... "I...don't know...I swore
he was right behind me and then the next thing I knew he was gone!"

"Oddly
enough, I think I believe you. Come on, there's a whole mountain of
unwashed chili dishes for you."

Ed
groaned slightly, feeling almost like he was at the losing end of a
bet with the Colonol again...oh wait...then he'd be wearing a pink
frilly apron and a French maid's outfit...this was
better...definitely better...

Izumi
quirked an eyebrow at the groan. She didn't ask, but she had a
distinct, niggling feeling that the groan was somehow connected to
unknown events in Central.

"If
you finish the dishes without alchemy and under half an hour,
I have a treat for you."

Ed
blinked, caught the entire sentence, rationalized the meaning and
possible outcomes, and sweatdropped slightly. "What...kind
of...treat...?" He asked tentatively.

Pleasesayit'snottrainingpleasesayit'snot
training...

Izumi
grinned, half happily, half maniacally. "That's a secret,
tater-tot!"

Notgoodnotgoodnotgood...

Ed fumed
visibly but kept his words to himself, with extreme reserve, it
wasn't easy.

Al peered
over the top of the bush he'd been hiding behind this whole time,
seeing Ed and Izumi. He quickly looked back down and gulped. He did
not want to leave Ed alone, but he was worried what Izumi would do
for him not showing himself from the beginning.

Izumi
heard a tiny rustle from a bush back behind her. Tightening her grip
on Ed's arm, she roared:

"ALPHONSE
ELRIC, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE. NOW!!"

Ed winced
at the sound of Izumi-sensei's voice, and the thought of what would
happen to Al now...

ItoldyoutorunItoldyoutorun!

Al
gulped, then ran to Ed, immediatly clutching his arm. He looked up at
Izumi with eyes full of fear. "Y-Y-Yes S-S-Sensei?"

"You
are in a boatload of trouble, boyo. Expect to be mucking out the shop
tomorrow. We haven't cleaned for a few weeks." Izumi grabbed
Al's arm in another iron grasp and dragged both boys away.

"Aru...you
could have gotten away!" Ed hissed through his teeth at his
younger brother as he was dragged along behind their dreaded sensei.

Al looked
at Ed, then at the ground, sighing. "..I'm sorry Nii-san..I
couldn't let you clean alone.."

"Alphonse,
you are aware that you're currently in more trouble than your
brother?"

The
younger boy blinked, suddenly trying to get free as he waved his arms
in the air. "..What?!.." Al looked at Ed with a worried
look. "..Any ideas?"

"Anou...he's
just ten though, Sensei! Al didn't know any better I told him to run!
He's not a suit of armor anymore you can't throw him around as hard
you'll hurt him!" Ed blurted out before he could even think
about what he had just said. Given time to think about it, he
realized he really shouldn't have said that.

Ohshitohshitohshit....

Al looked
at Ed, understandably confused about the 'suit of armor' comment.
"..What suit of armor Nii-san?" The confused boy then
looked from Izumi to Ed, and back again, several times. "..Is
there something I don't know that you're hiding?"

Finally,
Izumi snapped. "BOTH OF YOU ARE IN FOR A BEATING!" she
roared, throwing the two boys in front of her. The hormonally
imbalanced teacher loomed threateningly. "Has the thought ever
crossed your puny little minds that if you just paid attention
to what I say and do what I tell you that you'd have a LOT less
pain?!"

"EYAAHH!"
Ed squealed in a rather undignified manner, clawing his way over Al
to try and scramble for it.

Al
gulped, then pulled out some chalk and put it in Ed's hand. "..Use
it! Hurry!" He then looked at Izumi with fearful eyes.

And it
was then that Edward Elric was rendered utterly useless. This
entailed being too completely and entirely stunned, shocked, amazed,
and horrified all at the same time. Cue anime fall here.

"OH
NO YOU DON'T!" Izumi clapped, putting her hands to the dirt
road. A huge stone cage grew up around the brothers. "You little
scapegrace brats! If ANYONE does alchemy, you'll both be cleaning out
the latrines and the offal catches in the shop!"

Not to
mention she'll painfully and thoroughly kick your asses...

Al sighed
and did the only thing he could do.

He pulled
out a cup and hit the bars with it, making a rattling noise. "..Lemme
out please.."

Ed just
lay there, swirly eyes and all, completely out of it. At least he
wouldn't feel the pain just yet this way.

Izumi
smiled, half exasperated and half fond of the little twerp out cold
on the ground. Grabbing Ed by the front of his shirt, she slung him
up over her shoulder. "Let's get you some ice, kiddo."

Ed
faintly registered being slung over Izumi's shoulder and one arm
instinctively pointed in the opposite direction. "

"He'll
be following along presently," the now much calmer housewife
said briskly. "He's not half-dead like you are. What on earth
was going through your brain, Edward? You could have dropped by, said
hi, eaten something and gone on your way. Instead you were skulking
around like a thief, just begging to be punished. Have you forgotten
your manners?"

During
her monologue-cum-lecture, they had gotten closer to her humble
abode. "The boys are out for the week, so we should have
relative peace and quiet. Now, you have some explaining to do."

Apparently,
she had forgotten to put Ed down.

Please
review, constructive criticism and questions appreciated, flames will
be deflected back at you by Roy. n.n;

This was
a humor chapter, brought to you by the antics of Edward and Alphonse
in the presence of one Izumi Curtis.
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Unsettling Affairs