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Sad Song Series	By : KahlanN Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 931 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Never Thought I�d Be the One

�Let me see him.�

�It is not allowed.�

The voice boomed out the same answer every day. And every day he still asked. He could feel him still. They�d barely even gotten to talk, barely gotten to speak before he was taken.

The dragon said he was needed. The dragonballs needed a protector. They needed someone to make sure the chaos wouldn�t happen again. He hadn�t even thought about it. He was so used to it. He was so used to being a part of something. He didn�t know he was losing something else, something much more important.

When they�d fused, it hadn�t been much different from the first time. That is until he felt Vegeta move through him. It had felt like a streak of fire alighting through him. It had curled around him, and he�d felt empowered. He�d felt all of him. He felt every bit of Vegeta that he�d ever held back. And he understood�everything.

Then they�d suddenly been split. Unexpectedly in their own bodies after not even thirty minutes. He�d felt it. He�d felt Vegeta, still there. It was only a tiny piece of him, like a hot coal settled into his insides.

They�d still bantered. He had acted as if nothing had happened, and he was pretty sure that either Vegeta did the same, or it really hadn�t happened. He could have imagined it all.

But it didn�t explain why he still felt him.

�Let me see him.�

Shenlong turned his massive head toward the Saiyajin sitting cross-legged on his back. �It is not allowed.�

Goku frowned and stared out at the expanse of nothing surrounding them. This was where the dragon lived when he wasn�t summoned or when the dragonballs weren�t active. It was pretty boring�and lonely.

�Are you sure he�s okay?�

Words did not travel here. The only words that ever did were Shenlong�s. He�d never thought to ask why.

�He is living.�

�That doesn�t mean he�s okay.�

The dragon stared at him for a moment. �I do not understand.� Then he turned away, as if his ignorance did not bother him in the least.

Goku pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Since he�d pretended nothing had happened, since they�d pretended nothing had happened, he couldn�t turn down the dragon when he�d told him he was going. He didn�t really think he�d had a choice anyways.

Vegeta hadn�t said anything when he�d agreed.

It had taken a while for Goku to get bored. At first he�d run back and forth along the dragon, then he�d done katas, then he�d shadow sparred. And then there was nothing else to do that he hadn�t done. So he�d sit.

He�d sit and think.

He found his thoughts turning to his wife, his kids, his friends. He remembered all the adventures they�d gone on. He remembered all the fun times. He�d remember all the sad times. He�d remembered when they�d laughed and when they�d been scared to death.

And then he remembered Vegeta.

Whenever he did this, the little coal inside him seemed to flare to life. He�d touch his chest, just to make sure it hadn�t burned a hole through him. And the Vegeta in his mind would smile and nod at him. It was a friendly greeting, nothing more. But then he�d never asked for more.

They�d never really talked much outside of battle. The only times they�d come into physical contact were in battle.

But there was that one time. He�d touched him on the shoulder, companionably, and smiled. He�d told him his son would have better luck next time.

He�d never really seen much of side. He knew though, that Vegeta liked to tease him. He�d say something, and then smile at him with this twinkle in his eyes. Goku would smile back and act wounded. It was a private thing they shared. It was just for the two of them.

Goku hung his head and uncrossed his arms, relaxing them to trail his fingers over and over Shenlong�s scales. He wasn�t allowed to leave the dragon. If he tried he was pulled back.

He�d gotten tired of speaking telepathically one time. So he�d opened his mouth to speak. He�d never realized how horrible it felt to have nothing come from his lips or tongue. It had felt like he was suffocating.

He didn�t feel any hunger either. Sometimes he�d picture a fish, just to test it. But he felt nothing at all. He didn�t react one bit to the mental image.

Why was it then, that he reacted to Vegeta? He swore that if he opened his mouth he�d be able to say his name. But he didn�t want to try it. He never wanted to feel that horrible feeling ever again.

His head shot up and his entire body stiffened, his fingertips lying lightly on the dragon�s body and then pressing harder. Why could he always feel him, every day?

�You left me.�

Why could he always hear him?

�Did you know I�m going insane?� The voice was behind him, just like always.

No, it wasn�t real. He�d continue to stare straight ahead. It wasn�t there.

�Why don�t you come back to me, Kakarott? I�m going to be too far gone to ever recognize you soon.�

Vegeta wasn�t there. He couldn�t be. There was no way he could be there. Why did he feel him inside? Why was he burning inside of him?

�You can�t see if you only look straight ahead. Sometimes you have to turn around to see what�s behind you.�

It sounded like Vegeta�. Only he could say something that sounded simple and hinted at something else.

�I can feel you, Kakarott. I know you feel me. Turn and look at me, Kakarott. Please�.�

It was that word at the end, that plea, which almost broke him. It was the same every time, and every time he stopped himself from looking. If he didn�t see him, it would stay unreal in his mind. He could pretend it wasn�t there.

Besides, the real Vegeta would never beg like that. He�d never ask politely, with just a pleading hint to his voice. He�d demand. That was the Vegeta Kakarott remembered.

�Are you dead, Kakarott? Is that why you don�t move? You don�t speak either. You don�t say a word to me.�

He couldn�t speak�. The real Vegeta wouldn�t be able to either.

�I know you can hear me�.�

The voice trailed off and Goku had to resist the instinctive turn of his head. He had to jerk his chin slightly to keep it straight ahead.

Behind him came only silence.

Vegeta was gone.

But�it wasn�t Vegeta.

�Let me see him.�

Shenlong�s head turned again, and the dragon�s eyes looked at him as if they knew something, as if they hid something.

�It is not allowed.�

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Sad Song Series