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The Stepping Stone	By : Chikara Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > General Views: 4001 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 2: Giggle like a Schoolgirl

"If you have something to say, say it to my face."

Edward frowned sharply. "This isn't a letter for you, Shit-Colonel. It was stuck between the door when I got back to my apartment."

"And?" Roy pressed, reaching down to unbutton his jacket. Usually, Ed came only came over for two reasons: A: to pester him about a particular piece of information that the Elric brothers had been too dim to figure out themselves, or, B: to screw. On most dates, Roy thought fondly, it was the latter. And today...well, he didn't see where Edward was going with a letter. It was as he said before - anything the younger man had to say could be said to his face.

"And!" Ed pressed impatiently, "I want you to read it!"

Roy considered, but before he could open his mouth to answer, the envolope had been thrust roughly into his hands. Roy glanced down at it curiously. Printed across the front in loose capitals were the words:

My Dearest Edward

"My dearest?" Roy repeated thinly. "This has to be a joke."

"Shut up and look inside." Ed said, his arms folded tightly across his chest. Roy snaked one pale hand into the envelope and pulled out a thin sheet of paper. Thick, curvy handwritting dotted the page with such elegance that Roy found himself marveling at the fact that it was even legible anymore.

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
There's Something Special
That Draws me to You

"Creepy, huh?" Edward whispered, leaning forward to catch the Colonel's expression.

"I wouldn't say 'creepy.'" Roy muttered. "I'd say corny. Really corny. Whoever wrote this had to be drunk. Then again..." he waved the paper idly between two fingers. "You have to rule out the idea of mental stability just from the fact that it's adressed to you."

"Go fuck yourself." Ed snapped. Then, with an air of mystery that clashed awfully with his previous comment, he whispered; "What do you think? Phoney or Real? Guy or Girl?"

"A transvestite." Roy said simpy.

Ed slapped him on the arm. "If you're such a genis with admirers, you should be able to tell the gender just by the handwriting."

There was an awkward pause in which Roy stared at him - Ed could have described it as awe, but the words awe and Roy just didn't belong together no matter what the situation, and he couldn't allow himself to defy nature for the sake of a unsigned love letter. Finally, in a low, defeated voice, Edward manadged to delcare: "It's all...loopy."

"Thank you, Edward." the Colonel replied in even tones. "I figured that out on my own."

"A girl, then?" he pressed.

"And what if it is? Are you going to write her back in the same fancy tone; I offer my humblest apologizes, dearest admirer, but I'm not too fond of strap-ons??"

Ed slapped him once more. Roy caught his wrist, grinning, holding the paper up to the light as if a secret message would work it's way through like lemon juice under light.

There was a dramatic pause.

"Fuck this." he said finally. Ed watched with disgusted curiosity as he took the letter and, with a sickening crunch, fisted it.

"Fuck this." Roy repeated, and Ed backtracked breathlessly as his lover tore up the paper and threw the shreds in the garbage.

"H-HEY!" Edward cried, stooping down to pick up the pieces, but Roy caught him around the waist and pressed the small of his back into his stomach; a promising position for the both of them. Edward waited patiently for him to let go, hands still reaching out toward the trash to grope for the remains of the anonymous note.

Roy watched, transfixed, as a moment that seemed to last eons finally slid by. Patience lost, the blonde hissed at him, "Get off."

The Colonel tightened his grip.

To Roy's surprise, Ed didn't throw a fit. He didn't struggle to clap both hands to the older man's wrists in an attempt to break the bone, he didn't twist around the slap him for the thrid time or kick him as best he could in the shins. Instead, he began to laugh.

His body slumped against Roy's hands and his shoulders shook, head bowed like a child, chuckling violently until Roy's anger mounted and he brought his face as close as possible to the blonde's ear, whispering furiously; "What's so damn funny, Fullmetal?"

"You're jealous." Edward giggled in a very Un-Edwardish manner. "Fucking jealous! You get chocolates and candy and sappy love poems every day, and when a piece-of-shit rhyme is adressed to me, you're jealous!"

Roy drew his upper body back cautiously, keeping his hands locked around Edward's waist. By now, however, it seemed that Edward didn't mind in the least.

"Who would have thought I'd see the day when the Shit-Colonel is jealous!? This is almost too good to be true!"

"I'm not jealous." Roy said sharply. "I'm just concerned."

Edward ran the back of his hand across his eyes comically. "That's shit if I ever did hear it, Roy."

"Seriously, Ed." he whispered, now wondering if the twisting knot inside his stomach really was envy. "If you keep getting letters and accepting them, this guy's gonna stalk you..."

"You accept them." Edward pointed out gleefully.

Roy struggled for words before finally pressing; "I'm older. I can handle this."

Edward laughed once more. "That's news to me."

His body shook as the giggles erupted through him, and Roy had to wonder if he was holding a child, or a anxious schoolgirl in the shape of the Fullmetal Alchemist. His eyes passed over the nest of golden hair under him and came to rest on the shreds of paper that had once been a declaration of love, written through the eyes of a four year old child. Either that, Roy thought bitterly, or they were trying to be cute.

Biting his lip as hard as he could without drawing blood, the Colonel rapsed; "Get on the desk."

"Huh?" Ed murmered, raising his eyes curiously.

"Get on the desk." he repeated.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

Edward doubled over in another fit of mocking giggles and Roy clasped both hands over his wrist, leading him to the office desk and positioning him cautiously on it. Hands clutching the rim and rear upturned, Edward manadged to crane his neck around and catch Roy's expression.

"Eager today, arn't you?"

"Stop it, Ed." he said. "You made that letter up."

Ed's face dropped it's light-hearted fa�ade at once. "What?"

"Oh, pl-eease." Roy said slowly, "The day after you realize I'm worshiped by every woman that crosses my path just happens to be the day you recieve your first unsigned love letter? Don't make me laugh."

Edward's face darkened with rage. "I'm serious!" he said. And then, after a pause, he added; "What are you doing?"

"You came over here to screw, I'm sure." Roy declared simply, one pale hand wandering up the inside of Edward's tanned thigh.

"I just came over to ask the 'love-expert' how to deal with this!" Ed roared. "And you're not horny, you bastard. You just wanna take your anger out on me."

"That's shit." Roy said, but as soon as the words had been let out in the open, he knew they must be true. There didn't seem to be the slighest bit of arousal in him, even at the sight of Edward being bent over his office desk. All that existed was a blind sense of growing rage and...

"...jealousy." Edward hissed smugly. "Admit it. You can't stand having a lover that's wanted, even if the wanter is some sappy, nameless guy."

Roy opened his mouth, paused only whe he realized there were truely nothing to say, and closed it shortly afterward. His grip loosened instinctively.

Edward turned over and straitened himself up quietly, pushing Roy aside with one hand as he did so. He worked, strangely upright, toward the office door, pausing only to scoop the torn piece of the unsigned poem out of the trash, and turned sharply on his heel at the doorway.

"Come over when you're ready to apologize." he said evenly, and left without another word.
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The Stepping Stone