Reshuffled and Dealt

Well, I'm a bit disappointed in the general lack of response, but it is the long weekend and I'm hoping people are just away. Thanks to Hikaru for reviewing! Oh well, regardless, here's the second chapter.

Warning! Straight sex for once! Just so you're aware.

Chapter 2

“You are really disgusting some days, you know that?” The small form just heaved steadily beside him. Half way to town and Envy had started throwing up; there wasn’t anything to do but sit beside her and rub her back and wait.

The blond’s stomach turned over and he fought not to join her. “I still can’t believe you just ripped them apart like that. The blood is probably making you sick, you don’t know what they had. Anyways, why would you do that? We could have just handed them over.”

A tiny finger flipped him off. “Fuck you. It was fine, I’m always sick lately. And I did it because I wanted to. They would have killed you, and me, after they raped and tortured us. And they would have been executed if you managed to turn them over.”

“You shouldn’t kill people, it’s wrong.” He watched her heave again, fighting her empty stomach.

Once she’d caught her breath, she snorted at him. “My existence is wrong. Fix whatever you did to me.”

A heavy sigh and long hair was tugged gently. “I didn’t do anything to you.” He grinned quickly. “At least nothing you didn’t do to me.” She heaved again and dug her nails into his hand. “As soon as we get home, I’ll get my medical books out, ok? We’ll figure it out.” Personally, he figured she’d caught something from her less savory habits, ie killing people. Which might be handy in proving him right.

“And what are you looking for? Not human, idiot.” Even teeth snarled at him and were surprisingly non-terrifying without their points. Green eyes narrowed at him; she must have noticed his lack of fear. “Don’t think I can’t still kick your sorry ass.”

“Never.” He pretended not to see the sadly lacking snarl that came his way. “I’ll figure it out, I promise.” A disbelieving snort and she went back to dry heaving.

Once it was finally over, Ed had to carry the light homunculus the rest of the way. Reports were filled out and he called in to Mustang, claiming illness and that he was going straight home. He felt guilty for covering up the three dead men, but he couldn’t explain them away and just claimed witnesses had miscounted.

Envy spent the entire time throwing up and miserable. She refused to get on the train, kicking and screaming as the blond carried her on, and he was grateful to the auto-mail for saving him a few broken bones and a lot of pain.

**********************

A week of steady research and nothing. None of the books he read had anything about her symptoms, which were rapidly becoming his own. They fought over who got to throw up first in the mornings and slept later and later every day. He finally stumbled into the office, exhausted and pale, and was fussed over by Fuery. Hawkeye came over to inspect him and recommend going home.

“Hey, Lieutenant? If someone is throwing up all the time for weeks, has no fever, tender stomach and chest, and sleeps all the time, what’s wrong with them?” A last ditch effort, but he remembered his Mom always knowing what was wrong; maybe it was a woman thing.

“Is this someone a woman?” He hesitated, then nodded. “Well, the first thing that comes to mind would be that she might be pregnant.” His face turned white and he jolted up in his seat. “Or, it might be a severe case of the flu. In either case, a doctor is needed and as soon as possible.”

“That’s it! I didn’t think of it, I've only been looking at male problems, but that must be it!” He bounced up and headed for the door. “Thanks, Lieutenant! I’m taking a week off, I’ll call you.” The door slammed behind him before she could tell him to stop.

“Hey, ah, Lieutenant?” She turned to see the table of officers staring at her. “Is Ed’s girlfriend pregnant?”

“I have no idea, but it seems to me there is enough work to be done to not waste time on speculation.” A tight smile appeared as they scrambled.

Ed burst into his dorm and came to an abrupt halt. “Envy, what are you doing?” She was standing in his little kitchen, wearing an old shirt he used to sleep in, and furiously mixing a bowl of, something. He wasn’t really sure what that was supposed to be.

Tears were streaming down her face and she hiccupped at him, still mixing. The bowl was gently removed from her possession and he cuddled her close. “Cookie. I need a cookie but you don’t have any and I can’t stop crying or throwing up and, and.” Hiccups and gasps interspersed her words and she sobbed loudly against his chest.

“Ok, I’ll get you some cookies, alright? Come sit down, I’ll be right back.” She was settled on the couch and he ran to the cafeteria and back with a bag of mixed kinds, just in case.

The little body was still huddled on the couch when he got back and he handed the bag over without comment. Half the bag disappeared before he felt brave enough to speak. “Envy, I think I know what’s happening.” Her attention immediately switched to him, and she licked her lips, staring at his. “I think you might be, well, pr” He didn’t get to finish before she was in his lap. “What are you doing?”

Full lips pouted at him. “Don’t you want me? Aren’t I pretty anymore?” Small hands slid over his chest and had reached his thighs when he grabbed them.

“Of course I do, and you’re beautiful as always, but this is a bit abrupt, don’t you think?” Tears gathered in her eyes and he panicked; those had just quit! “Ok, ok, whatever you want.” He kissed her gently, running his hands over her sides, thumbs brushing her stomach.

Just the thought of his baby growing there made him feel more protective and gentle, barely touching the delicate looking body. Said body bucked and wriggled, looking for a more satisfying touch. The big shirt slipped off easily and pale skin enticed the blond into nibbling kisses along every exposed area. Soft breasts were cupped and kneaded lightly, teasingly avoiding the dark areolas. “Now! Hurry up!”

The slim back arched into him and he obliged, licking pert nipples before sucking them into his mouth. Loud panting and soft moans told him she was already close and his flesh hand rubbed her stomach and dipped into bright curls, parting them with a finger. Full hips jolted forward and a small scream came from above him.

She was more than wet enough and one finger, then two slipped in, stretching a bit while his thumb slicked over the little bundle of nerves. High pitched whines had him closing his eyes and he groaned around the soft skin in his mouth. Strong hands tangled in his hair and a final buck brought her in a rush, hot, wet, and panting in his arms.

“You’re so beautiful.” Soft kisses rained over the redhead’s neck and face as her lover shifted her down to sit in his lap properly, arms around her in a tight hug.

Whispered mumbling and Ed leaned down to hear. “Your fault. I hate you.”

His mouth kicked up at the side. “Yeah, I know. You want to hear what I found out today?” He could ignore his own arousal in light of the news he had. Tangled hair rubbed his chin in a nod and he continued. “Well, I asked around a bit, and I think I figured it out. We have to go to a doctor to make sure, though, so don’t get worked up about it.”

“About what?!” She glared at him, eyes red from crying and cheeks still flushed from orgasm.

‘Damn, so beautiful!’ The blond cleared his throat and tightened his hold on her. “I think you might be pregnant.” His shoulders tensed and he waited for the explosion.

Thin shoulders started to shake and he thought she might be crying again. “It’s not that bad, we can handle it. I’ll go to Mustang, see if he can’t get me a decent place, there are lots of books and… Are you laughing?”

Bright eyes stared up at him and the muffled sounds rang in the apartment. “You MORON! I can’t get pregnant, I’m not alive! My heart isn’t even beating, so nothing can survive in my body. Idiot, I should have known better than to trust you to figure it out.” Her mouth laughed but her eyes were enraged and she panted heavily, unable to decide which way to go.

Pink flickered as Ed licked his lips and swallowed. “Gimme your hand.” It was grabbed and pressed to her chest.

“What? Quit it, it’s no-ot. No. No, it can’t be, I didn’t make it, so it, no.” Fear was etched on her face, an expression Ed had never thought to see on Envy’s face. He started to rock, murmuring reassurances while she cried and pressed her hand to her chest, feeling her heart beat.

“I’ll make an appointment tomorrow, ok? Should I call Al? You like him, right? He can come and hold my hand if nothing else.” The light teasing helped calm the sobs to sniffles and a kiss was touched to her forehead. “Everything will be fine.”

Envy’s face was wiped with the alchemist’s shirt and she tried to smile but it trembled badly around the edges. “I know, let’s go get some groceries. You can pick out a few things you think you might like, ok?” Solid arms slid under the smaller body and he lifted as he stood. “Come on, let’s have a bath, get changed, and we can go.” He jostled her. “You’re lighter, loosing weight?”

“You try throwing up every two minutes! Asshole.” Slim arms still wrapped around his neck and bright hair rubbed his shoulder.

A warm bath and lots of splashing later, they were off. Almost an hour to get everything, as Envy decided she couldn’t choose just one kind of cookie and had to browse all the vegetables to get the perfect ones.

Ed chatted with a few other guys who were waiting patiently for their wives to finish up but had to abandon that in favor of monitoring their cart. “Hell no, we are not getting six boxes of those. You don’t even like that kind!”

“Yes, I do.” The boxes were replaced as quickly as the blond could take them out.

“Stop that. No you don’t. You made me throw out the last box we had.” Gloved hands landed on her shoulders and held her still for a minute. “Look, get one box and I’ll get you more as you want them, ok?”

“Really?” Blond nodded firmly. “Whenever I want them?” Another nod. “Okay.” The rest of the trip followed much the same pattern and they ended up with a random assortment of foods. The blond carried everything home and flopped on the couch, exhausted.

“You’re rubbing off on me. I need a nap, badly.” A gold eye cracked open to see his lover standing over him, taking off her shirt. “Again?”

A bright grin and red nodded eagerly while she crawled on him. Slim hands clapped in demand and white flashed as he complied. Blue flared and faded just as quickly. “Ow. Damn it.” Ed rubbed his side where a cramp had started.

“What?” Envy’s hands slid over his side and rubbed the offending area.

Long bangs shook. “I don’t know, it was doing it before too, but I thought I’d been hit and just didn’t notice. I’m ok now; it’s just when I do alchemy that it hurts.” He prodded the spot a bit but nothing happened, nothing hurt. Sneaky hands were under his shirt and yanked suddenly, engulfing his head in black cloth.

While he untangled himself, a quick tongue investigated the broad chest and muscular stomach. Wet railed over his skin and it quivered as the little tongue lapped at the edge of his pants. He gasped when the zipper snapped down and his hips jerked back, pressing into the couch. “Hey!”

“Quit whining.” Heat moved over newly exposed skin and over the soft boxers. The blond’s erection throbbed impatiently and he arched, pleading with his body. “That’s better.” Harsh words were muffled by cloth and flesh; the blond alchemist’s head snapped back and he moaned delightedly. The head and ridges were examined through thin cotton and it was soaked quickly.

Cloth rubbed against him and the boxers slid down his legs, that wonderful mouth not moving from its target. “En, stop, please, I can’t…” Whimpers broke free and he gritted his teeth to keep from coming. His hands grabbed her shoulders and hauled her up to kiss, lining himself up and sliding in.

Tight, too tight. “Fuck. Are you ok?” Lust dazed green looked down at him and he shifted a bit, making her moan and thrust rounded hips. “Easy.” Short, even thrusts opened her, lengthening out as she relaxed into him. A steady rhythm set and red tumbled down her back when she leaned up, pressing his tip against the sweet spot inside.

His flesh hand slid between her thighs and caressed soft flesh, spreading the slickness with his fingers. The smaller body convulsed, tightening around the deeply buried cock and he came, screaming his pleasure. Pulsing and a flick of his fingers pulled Envy with him, her body shaking above his. She finally collapsed on to his chest and cuddled, muttering how much she hated him.

A few minutes to come down and gold fluttered open to see his lover asleep on his chest. A soft smile and he wiggled his way to sitting, gently pulling away from her. “Come on, bedtime.” Her lack of weight was starting to worry him, especially if she was pregnant. Because, weren’t pregnant women supposed to gain weight? He added it to his mental list of things to ask the doctor.

Al showed up in time to hold both sets of hair back and fussed over them both. He was shoved out of the bathroom and set on guard duty. Breakfast was a miserable affair; Envy didn’t want anything other than banana ice cream, which they didn't have and she started to cry, and Ed insisted on pancakes, which made Envy throw up again. The two ended up in a screaming match and Al finally just bundled them both up and called for a car to take them in.

The waiting room was empty, which was for the best as the couple wasn’t speaking and Al was not about to try and step between them. The taller blond handled all the paperwork and chatted with the nurse on duty.

The doctor was brusque; Ed hated him on sight. Envy stuck her nose in the air and ignored him. “Well, young lady? What’s the problem?” The man practically tapped his foot.

“She’s been throwing up consistently for about a month, sleeping a lot recently, and her chest and stomach are tender. I’ve been the same for the last week.” He glanced to the side at the redhead. “We think she may be pregnant but we wanted to confirm it. Oh, and my alchemy makes my side hurt; as long as I don’t use it, I’m fine.

The doctor hmmd and grunted. “Pregnancy is easy enough to check for. Have you changed your diet? Had any accidents lately?”

“No, I still eat the same as before. There was an alchemy accident about a month and a half ago, but they said I was fine. No injuries.” Gold stared at him while he made a series of notes.

The man grunted at him again. “No other symptoms? Headaches, cramps?”

“Sometimes, but I get headaches a lot anyways. No cramps, except in the mornings for a little while. I have been extra tired lately, but I work a lot.” A sharp elbow dug into his side. “Yeah, Tiffany too.”

“Can’t talk for herself?” Broad shoulders shrugged at him. “Uh huh. Go with the nurse, she’ll have you give some samples.” They were ushered out and gave a urine sample to the friendly nurse. The three waited for the results, the two brothers chatting quietly.

A loud voice in the hall caught their attention. “That’s impossible. You must have confused them. Go get another one.” The nurse was back and requested another sample, which was given. The doctor stomped back in. “The test came back positive but the nurse ran one on yours as well.” He glared at Ed as if it were somehow his fault. “It came back positive too, which puts both results in question. We’ll need to do some blood tests. Farah will take four vials, the results will be back in a week.” The door slammed behind him.

Gold and brown blinked after him. Ed sputtered and hopped to his feet. “That’s it, I’m out of here.” Envy was already reaching for the door.

“Brother, no. Come on, let her take the samples, we’ll get the results back and find someone else for treatment, ok? We’re already here, after all. Envy, get back here.” A firm hand held the older blond back and he glared but sat down again. The redhead ignored the youngest and was in the lobby when he caught up. “Please? It’ll just be a second.”

“No. He’s a prick.” Slender arms folded in front of her and she tried to stare Al down.

Didn’t work, he was much too patient and used to dealing with his brother. “Yes, he is. But, if you leave, you might have to wait a while to see someone else and you’ll still have to have the tests done.” He reached out slowly and took a hand, pulling gently, careful to watch for a mood change. Envy's moods were like mercury on good days, never mind when he, or was it she?, he could never figure it out, wasn't feeling well.

The young brunette was quick and efficient, hitting the vein on the first try and the vials were filled in seconds. An appointment was made for a week later and Ed stretched as they left, grateful to be freed again. Doctor’s offices always smelled funny to him. Envy plodded along beside him, head down.

“Hey, you feel ok?” Red shook carefully. “Do you want to sit down or go home?” The metal hand rubbed her back lightly.

She leaned into the touch and rested her head on his shoulder. “Sit.” Her eyes lit on a café. “I want tea and a biscuit.”

“Certainly.” The biscuit was devoured in seconds and another one was ordered. “Slow down, there’s lots. We aren’t even eating them.” He was glared at and went back to chatting with Al. The two men managed to steal one each and watched while their companion finished off almost a dozen. Ed wasn’t really that amazed, but Al thought he might be ill if he watched her eat another.

“Guys, I have to get home, Winry wanted to go out tonight.” He stood and haggled briefly with Ed over who got the bill; the older blond was all for sending it to the State.

They were dropped off and Al pulled his brother aside. “Are you two going to be alright?”

His concern was waved off. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

“What if, well, you know?” A firm hand patted his shoulder.

“It’s fine. We’ll be ok, no matter what. It’s only a week, right?” Ed grinned at him and opened his mouth again. The sound of Envy being sick made him close it and wave before rushing off; Al shut and locked the door before he left, feeling a bit useless.


Anyone who's at all familiar with my writing knows I like to try everything once, but I need to know if I'm doing ok. So, if you make it here, please review and tell me if I suck. Cause I really do want to know. :) Thank you!