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Just This Once	By : Yaoigirl69 Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2503 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Thank you to everyone who reviewed Chapter 1 and thank you
to everyone for reading, I really appreciate it.� Also, many apologies that it took so long for
me to update, and thank you for your patience.

Ed ran from Roy�s
apartment at top speed, his guilt hot on his heals. His mind was working
feverishly, going over his actions like a movie reel repeating over and over.
One thought became more prominent with each review�he had attacked his
commanding officer. Not just the usual verbal attack Mustang deflected or
ignored with ease, not the kind of sanctioned attack like when he�d battled
Mustang to qualify for his State Alchemist re-certification, but jumped�pinned
down�and forced him�sexually�shit!

True it wasn�t actually rape, but no meant no regardless,
and Mustang had said no. He�d even tried to resist.

How could he have done it? What would Mustang do to him
now? Some of the colonel�s words started to register then.

�Ed, stop it. I�m
just as guilty�

As Ed raced through the streets of Central towards the
military dorms he debated. Did he really believe that? Did Ed dare to hope?
What if he decided differently later? He�d said other things too.

�Look Ed, if you
want to continue to be my subordinate we have to work past this.�

What if he decided that they couldn�t fix things now?
Would he transfer Ed to someone else�s command? If anyone were to find out they
might see it as Mustangs fault too. Would he see Ed as a threat to his career
now? Cold dread sat in Ed�s gut like a dead weight, his mind running in circles.

As he approached the building that housed the dorms his
thoughts centered abruptly on the present. Al was waiting for him. His brother,
he couldn�t tell him. How would he tell him? Al didn�t even know he was
attracted to men. Or, maybe it was just Mustang he was attracted to; he hadn�t
given it much thought. Even if the colonel just decided on some other
punishment, he would have no choice but to tell Al. If the worst happened, and
he was transferred, there was no guarantee that a new commander would
understand about his search for the Philosophers Stone. What if they didn�t
allow it? What would he do if he had jeopardized his search to restore Al�s
body?

He reached the dorm room he shared with Al. He would have
to tell Al, but not right at this moment. He needed to think, he needed to calm
down and think about what he was going to do.

Ed entered the dorm room, averting his eyes from his
brother�s keen gaze.

�Hello, brother,� Al greeted cheerily.

He dropped his coat and grabbed a towel.

�How was the-�

Ed went out the door and headed for the showers without a
word.

�-library,� Al trailed off. �That bad, huh?� Al sighed and
returned to his reading.

Once in the showers Ed pulled off his boots and jacket,
and then turned the shower faucet on hot. He threw his jacket and towel over
the shower stall, but walked straight under the spray of the water in his tank
top and leather pants, his mind too focused on his behavior with the colonel to
really focus on anything else. He stood there for a moment, head down, eyes
closed and let the water soak through his remaining clothes. When the top was
thoroughly soaked he pealed it off and dropped it to the floor. His pants
followed and he noted that they didn�t appear to have any traces of his
earlier�activity.

His own panic that he had done something so desperately
physical to Mustang aside, the problem boiled down to how mad the colonel was
and what he would do about it. He honestly hadn�t appeared to be mad when Ed
had left, but that didn�t mean that wouldn�t change, once he had more time to
think about it. Ed�s mind went over the last few hours again, trying to
remember clearly what the colonel had said and done. He hadn�t seemed angry
when Ed was sitting in his lap, more surprised and shocked.

Ed began to scrub soap over his skin as he thought again
about sitting in Roy Mustangs lap with his pants open and shirt pulled up. His
cock twitched in interest. Fuck! Was he really that sick? Did he really get off
on forcing people into sexual contact? Well to be honest he had gotten off, but
he hadn�t been thinking about the fact that Mustang wasn�t willing at the time,
which was why he was in this mess.

He had gotten off because he was being so skillfully
touched. Ed sighed; his disgust was at least somewhat dispelled. Mustang had continued to touch him after Ed had
let his hand go. Ed ran his hand up his hip and stomach to the nipple Mustang
had pinched. He had, in fact, voluntarily used his other hand to touch Ed.
Maybe it wasn�t going to be as bad as Ed feared.

He had never imagined his nipples could be so sensitive to
touch. He remembered clearly how the shock of that pleasure had pushed him
abruptly over the edge. What other things did he have yet to learn about his
own pleasure? Without warning the visceral memory of Mustangs wonderfully, hard
cock, pressed firmly against Ed�s ass through their clothes, filled his mind.
Ed�s own cock hardened with nearly painful suddenness and he had to bite his
lip to stifle a moan.

He knew, of course, that there was only one possible way
for two men to have actual intercourse, but he rarely allowed himself to think
about it. The memory of that feeling lead his thoughts unerringly in that
direction. What would it be like? Ed leaned forward and pressed his forehead to
the shower tile, trying to control his breathing. He saw the object of his
desire clearly in his mind then, larger then life, a commanding presence behind
his mahogany desk, The Colonel.  Not sitting in that chair but standing,
handsome and�tall (damn it!) in his
crisp uniform. He could imagine him coming around behind Ed, the
feeling of that fabric pressed to his bare back, those arms wrapped around him.
All he would need to do was his open his pants to feel that hard cock bare
against his ass. How would it feel for The Colonel to�he could hardly allow
himself to think it�fuck him? Ed
swallowed hard trying to keep silent.

What the hell was he thinking? The Colonel was never going
to allow Ed to be alone in the same room with him again! Much less let him get
close enough to touch. He felt a pang of sadness at that or maybe it was just
loneliness. He had gotten his one memory. It would have to be enough. He would
just have to face the future like he always had, determined to make things right.
He shoved his sadness away. Al, he had to think of his brother. He had to tell
his brother the truth. They would have to decide together what to do if the
worst happened. Ed quickly finished his shower and turned off the water. He
wrapped the towel around his waste, grabbed his dripping clothes, and headed
back to his room.

�

Al was waiting patiently, as always, in their dorm room.
Until he turned to see the veritable river of water Ed had trailed through the
room.

�Brother, what did you do?!� Al exclaimed. He looked at
the sopping clothes still clutched in Ed�s automail hand. �Why are your clothes wet? They weren�t wet when you
first got here! What did you do, take a shower in them?!�

�They were dirty,� Ed mumbled. Belatedly the thought came
to Ed that he could have just transmuted to the stains out, or at the very
least transmuted the water out after his shower�shit. Obviously it wasn�t his night to think clearly about his
actions before he proceeded.

�Dirty! How dirty could they have been that you couldn�t
take them off and let me wash them?� Al�s high, tinny voice had reached a
nearly painful octave. �What could you have gotten on them that made you feel
you had to shower in them?�

Ed blushed from his chest up. He would never understand
how Alphonse could make it appear that armor looked at him with a suspicious expression.

�Brother, tell me what happened,� Al�s tone reflected the
steel that his body was. �You said you were going to the National Library. You
said that I shouldn�t bother to come because they wouldn�t let me in anyway.
Brother, tell me the truth, where were you? Why did you race in here and leave
for the showers without speaking to me?�

�Al-� Ed hesitated.

�Brother, tell me where you were or I will lock you
outside�� Al�s tone became deadly, ��naked.�

Ed paled; he dropped his wet clothes with a resounding
splat against the floor, and gripped his towel tightly to his body.
Fortunately, his anxiety over telling Al what he had done to the colonel had
long since caused his erection to wilt.

�Calm down, Al! I was coming here to tell you already!� Ed
screeched. �You don�t have to get nasty!�

Al leaned forward, looming over Ed, put his gauntlets on his hips and began to tap
his metal foot. The loud �clang, clang, clang� ringing through the room.

�IwasatColonelMustang�sapartment!� Ed blurted.

�What?!� Al yelled.

�SHHHHH!� Ed hissed. �Al, we have to talk about this
quietly! Do you know what will happen if anyone hears us?�

�No, but I know what will happen if you don�t have a
really good explanation for lying to me about where you were going.� Al hissed
back. Somehow the hissed words had a much more menacing sound reverberating
from inside an empty suit of armor.

Ed blanched visibly. �Al, it isn�t like you think, the colonel didn�t do anything
wrong�� Ed could barely get the next words out. �It was me. I�m the one who�s
in the wrong.�

"Wait?  What do you mean, the colonel
didn't do anything wrong?" Al�s anger seemed to wilt a little at
that, �Brother, you didn't get into a fight, or blow up the colonel's place,
did you? What did you do?� There was a slightly plaintive note in his
brother�s voice now.

�Al, I-I think I�m�no, no I mean�I know!� Ed�s words
became firm. �I�m attracted to the colonel. After what happened...I-I
want to you to know the truth.� He blushed again, but not as much as he thought
he would. It felt good to finally be honest with his brother about it.

�Ed, did he,� Al paused, �do something to you?�

�No, Al!� Ed struggled to keep his voice down. �I told
you, it's my fault."

�Is that true? Or is that what he wants you to believe?� Ed had never heard his brother speak with
disrespect about the colonel before. He had to get this out before Al jumped to
the wrong conclusions and couldn�t be convinced other wise.

�No, Al, it�s not like that!� Ed�s frustration was
beginning to come out. �If you�ll just let me tell you what happened then
you�ll know.�

Al straightened up and crossed his arms. �I�m listening.�

�I went there to talk to him,� Ed stopped. �No, it goes
farther back then that. I�ve been having these�feelings a-about the colonel for
a while now and recently I�ve tried to see if he might, you know, be�interested
in me.�

�Tried to see how?� Al asked.

�I�ve tried to show it.� Ed�s blush deepened as he
remembered his failed attempts towards the man in question.

�Show it how?!� Al�s voice rose.

�I�ve been,� now that he had to say it out loud it sounded
ridiculous. �I�ve been making�passes at him, alright!?�

Al's helmet rattled has he looked up, as if to roll his
eyes. When he looked back down, Ed thought he heard amusement in his
brothers voice. "You didn't? Ed, did you? Great, brother, could you
have been a little more disturbing?"

"Thanks, Al." Ed scowled. "I
tell you I made a play for some one I like and you say I'm
disturbed."

�Brother!� Al�s exasperation was loud and clear. �How
could you? He�s your commanding officer and almost twice your age!�

�Yeah, that�s what he said too,� Ed groused.

�Not to mention Colonel Roy Mustang is the king of
flirting.� Al added, �With women! He must have laughed his ass off!�

�Al!� Ed was shocked at his brother�s choice of
words.

�It�s true!� Al retorted.

�Well, he didn�t,� Ed stated defensively. �In fact he was
very,� Ed�s voice got quiet, �nice about it. He was so nice that I just
couldn�t stop trying.�

�Why doesn�t that surprise me?� Al wondered aloud.
�Brother, why didn�t you look for someone a little better suited to be
your...partner? I guess I can understand about the fact that you like boys
instead of girls. I mean personally, ewwww, but you�re my brother and I love
you. If that�s what makes you happy then, fine, but why not someone closer to
your age and not your superior officer? Heck, the dorms are full of younger men,
you must have noticed someone else you liked, why the colonel?�

�Honestly, I�ve never really thought about it,� Ed looked
sheepish. �I�m not really sure that I am attracted to boys in general and not
attracted to girls at all.�

Al made a skeptical huffing sound.

�I�m not!� Ed protested. �I�ve never tried to notice any
one else! I�� Ed knew the moment of truth had come, �I was afraid to.� Ed
looked up at his brother. He really felt he had no right to say this. How could
he complain to the only family he had, family he had condemned to this half
life, that he was lonely?

�Why, Brother?� Al�s tone was soft; as usual he seemed to
sense Ed�s thoughts.

�Because I can�t let myself get distracted from our goal.�
Ed admitted. �I can�t go wasting my time on some relationship while I have a
promise to keep.� Ed stared at his beloved brother, willing him to understand.

�Brother, I hardly think that a few dates and maybe some
time for you to pursue�other things (how
did armor blush?)�isn�t too much for you to ask. We have plenty of time
here in East City
in between following leads and researching the stone for you to look around.�

�That�s just it Al,� Ed argued. �What if I do find
someone? What if that someone were to become a-attached to me? How can I inflict
my life on someone else? We�re gone for weeks at a time, on dangerous missions,
and we spend hours, sometimes days when we do get back involved in research.
It�s not fair to expect anyone else to put up with that. But, the colonel��

�Already knows,� Al finished for him. �He already accepts
the risks, and given his romantic history he�s not likely to get attached.�

�Yeah,� Ed mumbled, �something like that. I tried Al, I
really tried to just ignore it but�I�just wanted to feel someone touch me.� Ed
nearly choked on the last words. It was too painful to say to someone he loved,
who couldn�t feel touch, that he would have done anything to feel it.

�Brother,� Al sighed.

�I�m sorry Al!� Ed begged. �I�m so selfish. I�m so
pathetic. I can�t even wait until you can have that too. I can�t even be strong
for you and wait until you have the comfort of at least being able to hug your
own brother.� Ed closed his stinging eyes tightly. He would not be so pathetic
as to cry and feel sorry for himself in front of Al.

�Brother, its okay to want that. It�s okay to have that,�
Al coaxed him gently. �Everybody needs comfort, and while I can�t feel touch, I
do have comforts. They�re just different comforts.�

�No, Al,� Ed croaked. �You don�t know what I did.�

"No, I don't," Al replied. "I'm still
waiting for you to tell me."

"I'm getting to it!" Ed snapped
defensively.

�So you�ve been coming on to the colonel and he�s been
rejecting you,� Al brought them back to the point of the discussion. �So, what
was so different this time to make you act this way"

�Today in his office it got sort of obvious�� Ed hedged.

�From what you've said, I think it was probably obvious to
the colonel before today. What was different about it?� Al prompted.

�I sort of, uh, reacted, you know, strongly,� Ed fumbled for the right words. �He could, um, see it.�

�Oh,� Al sounded confused then, �Ohhhhhhh, you mean he
could see it.� Al made what sounded
like a disgusted noise but didn�t elaborate.

�Yeah,� Ed confirmed. �Well, he must have decided he�d had
enough because he tried to talk to me openly about it.� Ed thought for a
second. �Well, no, first he tried to joke about getting me a guidance
counselor. Then he tried to talk to me, but you know how most of our
discussions go.�

�I can well imagine.� Al drawled. "Did the
secretarial pool downstairs call the MP's about the explosions again this
time?"

Ed scowled and continued. �He said we had to get
past this or I would have to be transferred to a new commanding officer.�

�He didn�t!� Al gasped.

Ed shook his head. �Well, no, he didn�t say that exactly,
but he said that the higher ups might notice and use it as an excuse to
transfer me.

�Brother,� Al sounded exasperated again. �Get your story
strai--ah, correct.�

�I am!� Ed
humphed. �Anyway, so the discussion wasn�t going well and it was getting
loud.�

Ed paused half-expecting another smart comment, but Al
held his peace.

Ed continued. �The colonel didn�t want anyone to
overhear so he suggested we talk some place private.�

�He suggested you go talk some place more private?� Al didn�t hold back this time.
He threw his metal warms in the air, waving them over his head frantically.
�Ed, that�s the oldest line in the book! Are you sure he was rejecting
your advances?�

�Yes, Al, I am!� Ed squawked. �You didn�t see him. I had
the same reaction and he was very adamant about the fact that he wasn�t
propositioning me. And he must have meant it, because when I got there the
bastard had his whole rejection speech so well rehearsed, he must have been
practicing it for hours.�

�More likely he�s had lots of practice doing it.� Al
retorted.

�Hey!� Ed protested. �I�m not just some bimbo he�s giving
the brush off!�

Al said nothing.

�That�s when I got�desperate,� Ed sounded stricken and Al appeared to freeze, something you can do very
easily in armor. �I don�t know what made me do it. All I could think was
that, I just had to DO something to make him understand. I-I attacked him.�

�Brother! You beat the colonel up because he rejected
you?!� Al's arms dropped to his sides it was his turn to sound stricken.

�NO!" Ed�s agitated voice rang out.
"Al, it was nothing like that!�

�Then what do you mean,� Al asked. �How did you attack
him?�

�I�� Ed floundered for a moment. �He was sitting down and
I-I jumped on his lap!�

"You...jumped in his lap?" Al�s laughter
rang loudly in the hollow armor. Ed scowled and began to look murderous.

�Al! This is serious!� Ed yelled. �What if he�s angry at
being attacked? What if he decides I�m a danger to his career? What if he has
me transferred?!�

"Brother, don't be
like that, I though you were going to say you did something awful."
Al seemed to struggle for a moment, but he did look like he was trying very
hard to stifle his laughter. "Instead I get an image of my,
independent, tough as nails, aloof brother, jumping in an another
mans lap." Al erupted in to a new fit of laughter at that.

�Al, that�s not all of it!� Ed was ready to do some
serious damage at this point. With an obvious effort Al quieted.

�I�m sorry, Brother,� Al sounded anything but sorry.
�Please, continue.�

�I tried to explain why I had attacked him like that. I tried to explain why I felt so
desperate.� Ed�s anger seemed to drain a little. �He didn�t yell or get mad. He
didn�t tell me to get off so I-� how could he say it? �I started to expose
myself.� Ed blanched at the words. It sounded so hopelessly perverted when he
said it out loud.

Al was completely silent. Ed huffed at his bother,
irritated by his sudden silence, but he forged ahead nervously.

�He tried to push me off, but I pinned him there,� Ed
sounded a little puzzled at that. �He isn�t all
that strong actually. I-I-� now that he had to say it he couldn�t believe that he�d done it. �I
begged him to touch me�� Ed trailed off in a whisper.

Al seemed too shocked to speak at that so Ed shored up his
courage and, wondering at at his sudden need to confess so much,
he continued.

�I put his hand on me�I forced him to touch me and he,� Ed forced himself to continue. �He
got me off.�

Al sat down suddenly on the military issue couch behind
him and it nearly broke from the impact. �Brother,� Al's tone was
uncertain. �You begged him?" He paused as if in disbelief
"Wow, aah...and he...he did it?"

Ed�s voice abandoned him, and he would have been
quite happy for the floor under him to open up and swallow him alive at that
moment.

�What did he say?� Al paused as if groping for the right
word, �after?�

Ed felt a trickle of bemusement when he thought of it now.
�He was very kind. He tried to comfort me actually. I tried to apologize, but
he said I didn�t force him. He said he was just as guilty.�

�What did you do then?�

�I grabbed my coat and ran for it.� Ed grunted. �Shit, I
sound like such a fucking coward.�

"Why did you go so far
brother?" Al demanded. "Is doing it by yourself that
bad?�

�Hey!� Ed squawked. �Are
you saying I�m bad at it?�

�No, Brother, honestly, I don�t know and I do not want to
know.� Al sounded adamant. �How you do�that or any of the other details is NOT something I EVER want to
know about you."

Ed sighed. "I know this is more then
you want to know about me, Al. But, you deserve to know that I
messed things up and I don't know what will happen now."

�Brother!� Al�s voice was petulant now. �What possessed
you to do something so desperate? Are you really so sure that the
colonel is innocent? You say you forced the colonel, but you didn�t keep his
hand on you, right? I mean you say he did it, meaning he continued to touch you
of his own free will, correct? He continued to
touch you after you made yourself so vulnerable to him? Don't you think
he should have done things differently too?"

"Well, when you ask if that bastard is innocent, you
make it sound like I'm stupid. I know he usually isn't, but I...just
don't know, Al," Ed hesitated. �You make it sound like he was the
one who did something wrong. He only did what I asked and he didn�t want to do
that to begin with. He said no, I didn�t take no for an answer. I�m the one who
went to far.�

�Yes, but he invited you there,� Al persisted. �If you did
anything wrong here, it was going after an older guy in the first place.
He knows you never take no for an answer. He is older and
more experienced.  He's much better at manipulating situations
to suit him, and he didn�t stop when you let him go."

"But, I was the one who pushed him to that
point." Ed refused to relent so easily. He was certain,
as always, of his own guilt.

"I don't deny that," Al argued. "I�m
just trying to understand how this happened, brother."

�I�m not sure myself, Al� Ed�s confusion and dejection was
clear. �Now that I�ve told you I can�t believe I did something so reckless and
stupid!�

�Well, isn't that par for the course?" Al
huffed. "I mean. when you say it that way it makes more sense.�

�What!�

�Calm down, brother.� Al admonished. �How many times have
we been in a desperate situation on a mission, and the first thing you do is
jump head first into action, with out even considering if those actions might
be reckless and stupid?�

Ed looked surly, but he didn�t have an argument for that.
�What am I going to do now, Al? No matter what, I've really screwed this
up."

�Brother,� Al said firmly. �I don�t think the colonel is
as blameless as you make him out to be. If he said no and he knew it was wrong,
if he invited you there to talk, so
you could avoid further involvement,
why did he continue to touch you after you let him go?�

�I�he�� Ed wanted to argue. He knew he was right and that
Al was just misunderstanding, but he couldn�t think how to explain it. �I told
you Al, it wasn�t him! It was me, it was all my doing.� Ed tried to
protest, but the words sounded hollow even to him.

Al sighed, �Brother, I�m not saying that you didn�t act
inappropriately with the colonel. But I don�t believe that you were the only
one acting inappropriately. He�s your commanding officer; he invited you to his
home, alone. Despite what you think, people do still control their own actions.
You didn�t force him to talk to you, you didn�t force him to invite you there,
and you didn�t force him to continue after your initial actions. At least it
doesn�t sound to me like you did. He did make his own decisions.�

�What if he doesn�t see it that way?� Ed asked
plaintively.

�Then I�m sure his superiors will.� Al stated firmly.

�What?� Ed looked worried. �Al, nobody else can know about
this! What if they transfer me? What if we can�t look for, or even tell a new
commanding officer about the Philosopher�s Stone?�

�It isn�t going to come to that, brother,� Al�s conviction
was clear in his tone. �I think the colonel will see that the military will
blame him for inappropriate behavior with his male, subordinate, much more then
they blame you. If he tries to retaliate then we will make it clear that we are
ready to take this to the proper authorities.�

�Al!� Ed screeched in alarm. �You don�t mean that! The
last thing we need to do is make things worse.�

Al gave another long suffering sigh. �We aren�t going to
make things worse, we're just going to make sure that if the colonel tries to
do anything else that�s inappropriate he knows that you won�t be the only one
in hot water.�

Ed still looked slightly frantic.

"Honestly, I don't
think it's going to come to that," Al said. Ed felt that his
brother was trying to placate him.

�Brother, you don�t really think he is going to take
action against you, do you?� Al reasoned. �He knows what we did to our bodies,
he knows what we are trying to do to fix them, and he has yet to do anything
against us.�

�Sure, Al,� Ed relented. �But those things have benefited
him so far.�

�I�m not so sure that this doesn�t benefit him either.� Al
sounded derisive.

�Whatever, Al.� Ed was tired of this argument. It was
clear that he wasn�t going to get anywhere with it tonight. His own guilt was
still nagging that he created the whole issue in the first place. He
wasn't use to waiting idly by, he need to know what action to
take. �So, what do I do now?�

�What your going to do, brother, is go to bed and try to
get some sleep.� Al was insistent. �Then you are going to get up bright and
early tomorrow morning, march right down to the colonel�s office, and face the
consequences of your actions. If it comes to that so will the colonel.�

�But, Al, what if-� Ed began.

�No, brother,� Al wouldn�t hear any arguments. �The best
thing to do is to face this as soon as possible. Then we don�t have to waste
time worrying about �what if�s� we�ll know, and we can go forward from there.�

�You�re right, Al. I know that.� Ed sighed.

�Good, now put something on to sleep in and I�ll take care
of your wet clothes.� Ed looked down startled for a moment. He�d forgotten
about all that. His hair had dried considerably and his body had dried
completely while he�d been standing there. He moved to put on boxers and a tee
shirt while Al picked his wet clothes up off the floor.

�I�ll wake you in the morning,� Al reached the door and
looked back, �Get some sleep, brother. You�re going to need it.�

Ed dressed for bed slowly. He doubted if he was going to
sleep anytime soon. He considered Al�s words as he climbed into his dorm bed.
He was sure it would be a big mistake to retaliate against Mustang if he did
decide to take action concerning Ed�s behavior. But he understood his brother�s
overprotective nature. After all isn�t that how he reacted to any perceived
threat to Al? He desperately hoped it wouldn�t come to that. Maybe Al was
right, maybe the colonel wasn�t so innocent and he would see that too. His mind
continued turning over the possibilities and events of the day until well into
the night.

�
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