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The Music Box Trilogy	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 580 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Music Box Trilogy
- 2-chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Title: The Music Box Trilogy:
Story One: The Music Box

�� So much pain, it blossomed like a rose, where are you? I
cannot see� I want to feel you. I need the reassurance. All my certainties are
dissipating until only the pain remains. Who am I looking for? It�s so
important� and yet, the pain destroys it all� the eternal flame�

Beep�

Beep�

Beep�

Beep�

Darkness

Pain

Drip

A voice

A light

Beep�

Pain Darkness

Light

Emptiness

A sound

Drip

Pain

Beep�

Heero

Duo

Beep�

Pain

Emptiness

Pain�

�� Quatre sat in a chair next to the
hospital bed. Its occupant was pale, almost lifeless. Quatre
clutched the cold, bandaged hand. New tears streaming down his face, he cried
silently. The hand moved slightly. The Arabian�s aquamarine eyes widened.
Glazed amethyst looked up at him in slight delirium.

�� Duo!�

�� Hee�,� Duo rasped, heavily
medicated on sedatives and painkillers. Quatre looked
down sadly.

�� Gomen asai,
Duo, he�s not here anymore.� Duo closed his eyes and fell back into darkness.

�� Well, how is he?� Quatre asked Wufei in the waiting room with Trowa
standing right next to him.

�� He rufeses to
eat. He barely sleeps, his health is deteriorating, how would you react in his situation?!� Wufei snapped. Trowa let the
comment slide considering how tired and frustrated they all were.

�� Heero�s dead, Duo is not coping
at all, and we�re left to dance around the subject until, well, what? What can
we possibly do for him? How can we make his pain go away?� Trowa
murmured. All three were silent. Quatre squeezed his
eyes shut.

�� Duo� naze?�

�� Duo laid on the hospital bed,
staring up at the ceiling with blank, dead eyes.

*Flashback*

�� Duo awoke suddenly as he heard a loud gunshot and something
cut his arm. He winced slightly and looked around the dark room. Glass and
crystal were scattered about the ground. His heart lurched as he saw the prone
form of his lover on the floor in a puddle of blood.

�� Hee�ro�,�
he slid next to the body, the blood drenching his clothes and hands, but he
didn�t notice. �Heero�,� his voice was a bit bolder,
but barely audible. �Heero,� he shook the body,
�c-c�mon, you gotta g-get up� ya
gotta help me clean this up, c�mon quit joking
around, it�s not funny� y-you�re s-scaring m-me�,� Heero
didn�t move. Duo sniffed, tears streaming down his face. Something gold flashed
beyond the broken window. Duo pressed his hand against the cold flesh of Heero�s neck. Nothing.

�� N-� no�no��..,� he sobbed.

�� Duo curled up in the crimson puddle, against Heero�s dead body. He cried hard, oblivious of the blood
around him. He cradled a sharp piece of crystal against him. The sharp cuts of
class and crystal that covered his small body went ignored. He cut the flesh
and veins of his wrists violently and viciously. Tremors rocked the boy�s body
as he recurled himself, lying down in the growing,
red lake. He closed his eyes as he grew weaker and welcomed the darkness.

The pain inside my heart

Emptiness

I don�t want to feel.

Anger

I hate this emotion.

Loneliness

I don�t want to live without
your light

Sadness

I want to close myself off

Fear

I want to be emotionless

Compassion

I want to be dull

Love�

I want to die

�� They released him yesterday,� Quatre
said to Hilde over the vidphone.
The German girl�s eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying for three days
straight ever since she had first heard about Duo�s suicide attempt.

�� What?!� Hilde
snapped. �He�s only there for three and a half days! There�s no way he could
have healed in that sort of time!� Quatre looked
down.

�� Hilde, please be reasonable,
he�s depressed, he won�t eat, sleep, or anything.
He need help� I don�t want to commit him, but I don�t
want to lose him, either. The best thing for him is being institutionalized.� Hilde huffed.

�� Let me see him before you do it, okay? He�s not a nut job, they�ll treat
him like one and make it worse. What he needs now is a friend, not a quack!�
She snapped and disconnected the link.

�� Allah, Hilde, I hope you�re
right��

�� When Hilde walked into Duo�s room
in one of Quatre�s elaborate estate�s, the American
was sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the wall. Quatre
wrung his hands nervously. When they had first brought him home, he had been
staring out of the window, now he was just looking at nothing.

�� Losing Heero was the last blow
to his sanity� his mind couldn�t take it�� Quatre
thought.

�� Heya, Duo!� Hilde
greeted him, Duo just looked at her flatly, then
looked back at the wall. Hilde looked at him sadly.
She walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of the corpse-like boy, even
then, she was a few inches taller than him.

�� Duo�,� she murmured. She wrapped her arms around the petit
American. She used her hands to bring Duo�s head to rest against her neck and
chest. Duo took in a sharp intake of breath, tears streaming down his cheeks. Quatre gaped. All this time, he had never showed a blink of
emotion, but now�

�� Hilde felt her friend�s tears
soak her shirt, but ignored it.

�� Duo leaned into her embrace. Ever since
he had awoken in the hospital, his so-called �friends� had been treating him
like a cated panther. A
stranger, something dangerous that one should be nice to, but also keep
yourself a safe distance from. It made him feel like the creature that
they treated him like. He felt abandoned, betrayed alone. All he wanted was for
things to go back to the way they were before, even if Heero
wasn�t around, he�d at least have some
comfort.

�� Now that Hilde was here, he felt
human again.

�� Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Heero�s
body, surrounded in blood. He couldn�t sleep. So, he wouldn�t. Every time he
ate, the food would tast like ash and he would
remember their first Valentine�s Day. Heero had tried
his best to make breakfast for him. The result? The
not-currently-in-spandex-but-jeans-boy had almost blown up the kitchen. Duo had
spent morning teaching him hw to cook. It had taken a
lot of effort and energy. All and all, it was the best breakfast he had ever
had, though, not exactly in taste.

�� He couldn�t eat. So, he wouldn�t. If only he could forget Heero.
But� he didn�t want to forget.

�� Hilde started to stroke his hair,
bringing him out of his thoughts. The rhythmic beating of the ceiling fan and
the gentle touch of Hilde�s soft hands soon lulled
him to sleep. Hilde laid him down onto the un-made
bed. She gave Quatre an �I told you so!� look as she
went through her suitcase.

�� She shoved the sputtering Arabian out the door and shut it.
She changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed with him like they used to
back when Duo had been living with her back on the colony during the war. She
pulled the covers up around them. Duo cuddled against her and mumbled
something. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her,
close. She laid her head on top of his.

�� I promise you, things will get better,� Hilde murmured before she drifted off.

�� Duo awoke lethargically to see snow gently drifting from
the sky. It was night.

�� A dream,� he murmured, �odd, I stopped dreaming about Heero dying years ago.� He yeawned,
opened the door, and paused. Realization hit, followed by a familiar numbness.

�� Hilde looked up from a pot of macaroni
and cheese to see Duo walking in with her old pajamas on, barefoot. He ran a
hand on the cabinet door.

�� This place hasn�t changed at all.� His voice was alien to
her. It had the same tenor as before, but something was missing.

�� Interesting,� she realized, �energy, emotion� It�s life that�s
missing�,� she smiled at him.

�� You have a good sleep?� He shrugged.

�� Why?�

�� Hm?�

�� Why did you bring me here? I mean, was it because you-,�

�� No!� She gaped, �it has nothing to do with that! I took
you from Earth because you are my friend!� Duo sat down at the circular, wooden
dinner table, his shoulders slumped.

�� I wish Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre still thought
so.� Hilde placed a comforting hand on his slight
shoulder.

�� I�m sure they still do, Duo, they are just not sure how to
act around you anymore.�

�� So� it is my
fault�,� she shook her head frantically.

�� No, that�s not it, either. Nothing that had happened was
your fault.�

�� Does that mean that you�re not going to commit me?� Hilde regained her smile.

�� Of course not. Unless
you�re planning on climbing onto a tower and taking pot shots at pedestrians
with a rifle?� He smiled very weekly.

�� No, I don�t think so. Waste of bullets.� She hugged him
tightly.

�� Good! Then this macaroni won�t have to take a visit to the
disposal.� He grimaced.

�� I-I really don�t feel like eating right now�,� she shook
her head.

�� I know, but you have to eat, you were nearly anorexic to
begin with!�

�� Was not,� he crossed his arms and pouted.

�� Please, Duo. Just a little bit. For me?�
He sighed in resignation.

�� Alright. But just one bowl��

�� Almost three years ago, Hilde had
made a horrible mistake. She had fallen in love with Duo Maxwell. This was not
the mistake, mind you. After all, love is never a mistake. Rather, her mistake
was that she had been clouded by it and had reacted in a way that was not
elegant at all. She ignored all the signs that he was already interested in
someone else. She had not acted during the war, but after. She had foolishly
thought that Duo felt the same way. She flirted shamelessly and even stole a
kiss. Right in front of Heero.
Hilde was lucky that their relationship had been very
solid at that pint, or she could have ruined it for them. If she and Duo had
been anyone else, and Heero had not been there to
offer his support, Duo and Hilde might have parted
ways and never spoken again. Instead, they grew closer, understanding each
other and becoming true friends. Now, Hilde had
fleeting thoughts that maybe it would have been better for Duo if his relationship
with Heero had
been ended that day. But, they were fleeting and she knew better. To lose such
precious memories and feelings of love, would be just
as painful as losing Heero.

�� After the chaos of the recently discussed events had
passed, Hilde wondered about Relena.
Did she know? How would she react? She did know, actually. Heero
had told her and she had taken it rather well, even lending her encouragement
every so often. This was the only reason why, when Relena
came to the door that next morning, Hilde invited her
in.

�� After macaroni, though he was still exhausted he refused to
go back to bed. Instead, he wandered around the house aimlessly, touching this
and that with a light hand. The next morning, when Relena
saw him, she hugged his tightly, of which he did not respond. The two retreated
to a room by themselves while Hilde nervously made a
lunch of grill cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk. A half an hour later, Relena walked into the kitchen with tears streaming down
her pale cheeks.

�� He-he�s not taking this very well, is he?� Hilde looked up, startled.

�� What happened? What did he do?� The ex-queen choked back a
sob.

�� Nothing! Absolutely nothing� I
mean, I know I�m not the best person to talk to about Heero�s
d-d-d- passing, but he barely blinked when I was talking to him! He�s like a
walking corpse.� Hilde thought about that.

�� Odd, he responded a bit to me.�

�� Either he�s shutting off his emotions again or he�s still
in shock.�

�� Still? Again?
What are you talking about?!� Hilde sighed.

�� I�m not comfortable with telling you this, but if you�re
going to help me get Duo out of his shell, I suppose you�ll have to know.
During the war, Duo thought that he would close off all of his emotions in
order to �more efficient.� Trowa, Heero,
and Wufei, being the macho asses they were back then,
decidedthat if they ignored him, everything would
sort itself out. Well, it didn�t. Duo just got worse and worst until he became
self-destructive enough for Heero to intervene. As
for the shock thing, he just lost his friggin� soul
mate, what did you expect would happen?!� Hilde sighed, �I�m no therapist, but I know he can�t last
like this for long.� Relena wiped her eye of excess
tears.

�� Well, what should
we do?�

�� First, we need to get him more comfortable here, when that
happens, we have to get Quatre, Trowa,
and Wufei here. Duo has to know that his friends
still care for him and are here to help.� The blonde nodded in understanding.

�� I think I�ll keep talking to him, try to reach him, you
know?� Hilde nodded.

�� That�s the best course of action for now, I think.�

�� However, the two girls thought out plans were in vain, for
that very night, the dam finally broke�

�� Duo slept restlessly, wrapping his arms around Hilde�s pillow, squirming and twitching, in the throes of a
nightmare.

*Flashback dream sequence*

�� Duo yawned as he awoke, stretched, then
cuddled back into the covers. Last night had been� incredible. Heero, Trowa, and Quatre were getting drunk while Duo and Wufei
worked on their Gundams, which had been damaged
previously on a joint mission. The last couple of weeks had been incredibly
strenuous on them all. It was no surprise to Duo that Quatre
and Trowa were making out all over the place. It did
surprise him, though, that the pair had managed to persuade Heero
to get drunk with them. Duo had excused himself to take a shower, which made
him more relaxed. He had entered his room, slipping on blue cotton boxers and a
long black pajama tee-shirt. Feeling a sudden presence, he had spun around. Heero had been standing near his bed, staring at him with a
heated gaze. Duo had blushed, realizing that Heero
had watched him get dressed.

�� H-Heero�,� Duo had been pushed
against the wall, Heero�s lips instantly on his, his
tongue down his throat, his hands up his shirt, caressing smooth skin� Duo
blushed at the memory. He had pushed Heero away,
afraid of what would happen, but then Heero had said:

�� Please, I need you so badly, I love you.� His blush grew
as he remembered the rest of that memory. Heero had
actually said he loved him. It seemed
like a dream, that someone as strong and beautiful as Heero
Yuy could ever have feelings for a worthless piece of
trash like him. Duo smiled, feeling warm and fuzzy inside, an unfamiliar
sensation. But, as he got his bearings, the smile faded and the coldness
returned. Heero wasn�t here. He had left. Duo wrapped
his arms around his knees. He never should have let hope take control, he
should have continued his descent into nothingness. He dropped his head into
his arms and sobbed heartbrokenly. He was so worthless! He could be tortured
and beaten to the brink of death, but when it came to the sullen Japanese
pilot, he was a total wreck. He wanted to die so badly, just for being treated
like a whore, even though he had been treated as such, vocally. It was because
it was Heero who had betrayed him. He continued to
sob, praying for his death when arms circled around him.

�� Duo, what�s wrong?! Shit, did I hurt you, please tell me
what�s wrong!� Duo froze.

�� Heero!
He came back!� Duo grabbed Heero like a lifeline only
to find there was nothing there, only a cold, lonely floor, littered with glass
and soaked in rivers of blood�

*End Flashback dream
sequence*

�� Duo shot awake, a scream rising then dying in his parched
throat.

�� That�s not what happened! Heero
was there for me, I know he was!� He instinctively reached for Heero, as he always did when he awoke from a bad dream,
but, for the second time, found nothing. A horrible emotion hit him and he
bolted to the bathroom, retching into the toilet. He felt so cold� had to get
warmer. He felt frozen, he couldn�t breathe� He crawled into the shower stall
and curled into a ball, turning on the heat all the way and hyperventilating.
He stayed like that until the water turned ice cold and he grew blessedly numb.

�� Minutes later, two thin, pale arms
wrapped around his waste, pulling him out of the water and onto a rug.
Someone pulled off his clothes as a towel dried him, a blanket was draped
around his small form and a familiar voice called out his name.

�� Duo awoke in a sluggish state with someone clutching his
hand desperately.

�� D�j� vu,� he thought lazily. He stared in amazement as Quatre looked down at him, his face stained with tears.

�� Duo!�

�� I must be dreaming.�

�� I really have got to find a way to stop these fucked-up dreams,�
Duo murmured.

�� Duo..?� Duo squeezed his eyes shut.

�� You�re not dreaming.� He opened his eyes again.

�� If that�s the case, what are you doing here?� Quatre hung his head in shame.

�� Hilde told me where you were and
when I decided it was time to �stop being an ass� and talk to you, I was
welcome. Well, I thought about it and I realized I had been a complete ass to you. I mean, all that time that you were
in the hospital, I only spoke to you once. I was so
scared of what you would say, what you would do. I should have been more
concerned about your feelings than mine. I-I had to come to this colony, to
talk, to help. But when I arrived, I
felt your distress and I rushed here.� Duo leaned his head against Quatre�s thigh, allowing his best friend to stroke his
hair, like how Heero used to� Duo cut off that train
of thought in its wake.

�� Duo� why-,�

�� I didn�t try to kill myself last night.� Quatre frowned.

�� Then why? W-when I came over, you were in the shower, had
been for five hours, with your clothes on!� New tears poured down.

�� Five hours,� Duo murmured in a tone of surrealism, �didn�t
feel like 5 hours� was just tryin� to get warm�,� Duo
yawned. Quatre smiled and straightened out his
pillows.

�� Duo, what happened?� Duo yawned again, leaning back into
the pillows.

�� I-I woke up and Heero wasn�t
there like he�s s�posed to, �n I felt sick� I went to
the bathroom, but I was so cold, I had to get warm, so I turned on the shower,
guess I lost track of time.� Quatre sighed.

�� Duo, how are you doing?�

�� I-I don�t know� I mean I don�t know what to feel anymore��
Duo wrapped his arms around his knees and hid his head in them, ashamed to show
his tears. Quatre hugged him tightly, rubbing his
back and stroking his braided hair.

�� Sh� everything�s going to be
okay.�

�� Iie� I�m so� weak,� Duo cried in
an anguished voice, �I should know by now that everyone I love will die��

�� Duo�, don�t say things like that�
They�re not true� I�m here aren�t I?� A muffled sob escaped.

�� Won�t be long now��

�� Duo!� Quatre
drew the smaller boy into his lap, tightening his grip on him and rocking back
and forth in a soothing manner.

�� I know you miss him, I do, too, but you can�t give up
hope. Heero wouldn�t want-,�

�� He wouldn�t want me living my life like this, a shadow of
my former self, he would want me to be happy, well, the
only happiness for me now is death.�

�� Duo� alright,� Duo blinked and looked up at him, �one
year.�

�� One� year?�

�� Yes, give me one year, if within that time, things have
not improved, we will leave you alone.�

�� You�ll let me kill myself.�

�� Yes, I know you�re in a lot of pain, Duo, and I wouldn�t
be a friend if I forced you to live your life immersed in that pain. Just give
life a chance for one year, okay? Please? For me?� Duo
snorted.

�� Alright.� Quatre
smiled and hugged him tightly.

�� Relena looked up as Quatre closed the kitchen door behind him.

�� How is he?� she asked.

�� He�s sleeping right now. He�s not doing so well, though.
He�s lost a lot of weight, obviously. But, I don�t think we�ll have any suicide
problems, now.� Relena brightened.

�� Y-you got him to change his mind?� Quatre
smiled.

�� You just have to know how to talk to him is all.� Relena nearly squealed at this news.

�� So, what do we do now?�

�� I think I�ll stay here for a bit,� Quatre
said, �that is, unless I�m imposing?� Hilde shook her
head.

�� Not at all! I have two other
rooms for you and Relena.� Quatre
gave his thanks, though he briefly wondered why Relena
was so excited by the news of how Duo wasn�t going to try anymore suicide
attempts.

�� The following morning found Duo on a bench out in Hilde�s garden. Despite the peacefulness of the morn�, Duo
felt like banging his head against a wall, a very thick, steel-plaited wall.

�� Why in the hell did I agree with Quatre?!� He though in exasperation, �I can barely go day
to day, let alone for another goddamn year.� A year with no Heero. A year missing the soft caresses, moonlight
walks, cuddling under warm covers as the wind howls outside; no more waiting as
dinner cooked, no more struggling with the decision of what movie to get for
Saturday night. Now more �I love you� or �ai shiteru; or �suki da.� No more fear, no more worry, no more love, no more
life� Duo wrapped his arms around his bent knees, a familiar posture for him,
especially lately. How could Quatre possibly expect
him to live with this horrid pain of loss? Of no mores?
The pain would surely consume his glass soul before the year ended. He heard
the snap of a nearby twig and looked up to see Relena.

�� Relena approached Duo slowly but with
a confident stride.

�� May I sit?� Relena gestured to
the empty spot on the bench. Duo nodded, sliding over a little bit. As she sat,
she fixed her white skirt and placed her hand on her lap.

�� So, how are you doing?� She asked cautiously.

�� Fine, I guess,� he murmured, toying with his shirt.

�� You planning on staying here much
longer?� Duo kept toying.

�� I suppose so, I don�t really have
anywhere else to go, now.� Relena placed a hand on
Duo�s hand, which quelled its movements.

�� You know, you�re always welcome in Sanq�,�

�� Arigato,� he mumbled, a blush spreading along his cheeks.

�� He looks so cute like that�,� on an
impulse, Relena turned to face him, pressing her lips
to his. A few seconds into the kiss, Relena was
shoved to the ground violently. As she regained herself on the dirt ground, she
looked up, only to find Duo gone.

�� Memories hit Duo like a tidal wave as
he frantically ran for the sanctuary of the bathroom, locking the door behind
him and hiding himself in the shower. Shaking horribly, he spied a razor on the
shower shelf.

�� Duo��.Duo��.,�

�� Red everywhere.

�� Duo��you have to wake up��.�

�� Pain.

�� Duo��!�

�� So much blood�

�� That�s it, Duo��.. c�mon, a little
more��

�� Quatre
sighed in relief as Duo hissed in pain. He held down Duo�s arm in a light grip
to keep him from hurting himself.

�� Baka, what
did you think you were doing?� Duo blinked up at him in confusion.

�� Quat?
What are you��..what happened..?�

�� I remember� Relena
was kissing me and�. It hurt so much� then the razor��

�� Shit!� Duo moaned in shame and flung
his good arm over his face.

�� Duo,� Quatre
moved the hand back flat at Duo�s side, �don�t� don�t be ashamed, just tell me
what happened?� Duo looked at the wall, gathering his strength, then he looked right into Quatre�s
sea-green eyes.

�� I� where�s Relena?�

�� She�s in her room, she skipped
dinner. She�s been really worried about you-,� Duo let out a dark, cynical
laugh.

�� Yeah, sure!
Worried, huh?! Her crush kicks the bucket, so she goes after his lover!� Quatre looked at him with concerned eyes.

�� Duo� what happened?�

�� She kissed me,� he murmured in a
small voice, �that�s what happened.�

�� Oh, Duo,� Quatre
smoothed back his friend�s bangs.

�� I couldn�t handle it, Quat� I� I just couldn�t!�

�� Duo, it�s ok, I understand,� the
Arabian insisted. Duo, his eyes wide, looked back at the wall.

�� I only have one choice left.�

�� I�m leaving,� Duo said in a strong,
resolved voice.

�� What?!� Hilde gasped in shock. Quatre
just stared at him, unsure at what to say or do.

�� But� Duo, you can�t!�

�� I can�t stay here. I�m going insane�.
There are too many memories. I need� to start fresh. I�ll never forget Heero� this pain will never go away, but I have to try.�

�� Where will you go?� Quatre asked. Duo shrugged.

�� I think Earth. I�ve always loved it
there. Where on Earth, I�m not sure, yet. I just know
that I have to do this. I�ll keep my promise, you know that.� Hilde smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

�� Alright then, let�s get you packed��

End
The Music Box
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The Music Box Trilogy