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Sleep's a Privilege, Not a Right	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1611 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Sleep's a Privilege, Not a Right
- 2-chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Sleep�s a Privilege Not a
Right

Chapter 2: Release

�� Duo had neither the luxury of time nor the ability to sigh
in relief as he found an empty truck in the desolate parking lot. He knew that
as soon as his adrenaline high faded, he was going to crash hard. He realized
that with his fatigue and shaking he was probably going to get into an accident
just trying to get out of the parking lot. His best bet was to be a stowaway.
The truck was from Filenes and, when Duo rifled through the glove compartment,
he discovered on a route list that the driver�s next stop was at a mall on a
three hour drive from here. From there, he would have to make a six hour walk
back to the safe house where he hoped the others had not relocated for two
reasons:

1)
His tears were
still bleeding and he could feel the blood running down his legs in thick
streams, soaking his (fortunately) black pants and 2) the last thing he wanted
right now was to be alone�

Along
with the route list, Duo also found a half eaten candy bar and three packets of
twelve caffeine pills. He pocketed one, knowing that he would be needing them later. He quickly slid into the back of the
truck and curled into a ball.

�� Can�t fall asleep, but I can�t waste the
pills eit��

�� Duo shot awake as the truck started to
move.

�� Fuck!� He swore under his breath. It was a
huge chore to move his shaking limbs over to a crate.

�� Dammit, I feel
like there�s an earthquake and this damn truck isn�t helping.�

�� He broke open a crate to find glasses. He broke
one and dug the sharp glass into his arm, hissing in relief as pain filtered
through his clouded senses.

�� This should give me a little while,� he
thought as blood traveled slowly down his hand. Three hours� it was going to be
hell. His mind was telling him not to sleep, but it was all his body wanted and
his heart was telling him to take the now bloody glass and rake it violently
over his wrists until he bled to death. It was hard to block out the urges, but
one thing always brought him back.

�� Heero��

�� Three hours turned to three days in Duo�s
mind and he thought that the hell would never stop, but time finally took mercy
on him and the truck stopped. Under the cover of night, Duo managed to sneak
out of the truck unnoticed. He was glad then as his body swayed and, for one
terrifying moment, he thought that he was going to faint right there in the
parking lot, that he should have taken the pills� But his throat was dry and
swallowing them without water would be painful. That,
and he was pretty damn sure he was dehydrated. Fortunately, luck was on his
side for once and right across the street was a convenience store. He shakily
made his way to the busy crosswalk and impatiently waited for the light to
change. Suddenly, as he felt his adrenaline start to falter, calloused, phantom
hands gripped his hips and ran up his back�

�� He shook his head brutally. He couldn�t
think of that now, he couldn�t afford
to think of it.

�� Finally, the Do Not Walk sign changed and
Duo ran shakily across the street. Even after he reached the door of the store,
he felt the unpleasant yet reassuring hum of adrenaline. Now, if he could just
keep it up a little longer, he might be able to make it. However, he had no
money and he didn�t want to chance stealing anything.

�� Uh, um�,� he murmured as he stood in front
of the register counter, behind it was a middle aged man who looked him up and
down appraisingly. Duo shuddered at that stare.

�� D-do you have any water?� The man nodded
and got a bottle out of the freezer.

�� That�ll be a dollar fifty.� Duo blushed in
fake embarrassment.

�� Actually, I, um, don�t have any money��
Duo knew that to this man he looked like a kid, in fact his ruffled appearance
probably made him look a couple years younger, and with his too-pale face and
shaking body, he probably thought that Duo had just gotten either out of a
hospital or off the streets. He saw the man�s look.

�� Oh no, please don�t ask what I think
you�re going to ask, not that!�

�� Why not? They made you do it.�

�� I-if I have to, I will. It�s just another
mission, that�s all.� Duo didn�t even realize it when he let loose a small
whimper.

�� Relax, kid, it�s just water. �Sides, you
look like you need it bad,� a small fraction of tension bled from Duo. He
thanked the man profusely then ran out the store like a bat out of hell.

�� Duo swore as he trudged up the hill which
happened to be in a rather thick forest which explained the large number of
scratches on him. Every step was murder on his aching badly and with the
feeling of thick, hot liquid trailing down his already blood-soaked legs, he thought for sure he was bleeding to death. In his
anxiety to get someplace warm and safe, he had miscalculated. It would have
taken six hours if he had been in good shape, but it was taking him an extra
two hours and now he had to walk up the steep hill near the main road. The hill
was what he had been dreading because he was already over taxing his reserved
strength, how he had any left was a mystery and climbing up this monster was
probably going to do worst to his body than getting out of his cell had. But,
even if he did get up it, he still had to walk for another mile and a half.

�� Duo finally did get up the hill, though. He
grabbed a protruding root and hauled his body, which was becoming more and more
of a dead weight, up to the top and promptly collapsed on the ground. He would
have been content to just lie there and breathe for a little while, but he
didn�t have the luxury, especially since, he dimly realized, the thick liquid
sloshing around in his boots was not water. All of those twelve pills were gone
and his heart was doing a very unpleasant thumping rhythm. He didn�t want to
think about what would happen when he finally crashed.

�� He almost cried out in happiness when the
safe house came into view.

�� Heero! Please, he
has to be there. I need him. I need to feel his arms around me. I need to hear
his voice. If� if I can get that much, I know things will be alright. I can be stronger, I can pretend it never happened, that things never
changed.� He ran as fast as he could to the door, flinging it open and running
up the stairs, completely ignoring Quatre calling his name in alarm.

�� Trowa,� Trowa looked up at Duo from his place on the couch, alarmed
at the sight of Duo, pale, disheveled, and shaking hard. His eyes were almost
completely dull, only a small speck of light inside them.

�� Where�s Heero?� Trowa
winced, dreading this conversation, especially since Duo seemed so� lost.

�� Heero left three days ago, the day after
you left. He� he�s with Relena.�

�� He was� when I was�� Trowa
watched in terror as that small light vanished.

�� Oh.�

�� Quatre stroked Duo�s hair lightly, trying
his hardest to offer his friend some comfort. Though it seemed to help, it
still wasn�t enough.

�� Heero, how could you? Leaving like that, and it wasn�t even a mission! Being with her right now is the same to Duo as
going up to him and saying �I don�t love you and if you are in pain, I couldn�t
care less.�� Quatre sighed. �I don�t know what�s more sick, Heero�s oblivious
personality or that he is the only one who can save Duo.� He eyed the box of
teriyaki beef Trowa had put on the nightstand a few
minutes before. Duo always called them �beef on a stick!�

�� You know,� Duo murmured placidly, �while I
was being raped, Heero was with Relena.� Quatre bit
his lip hard, holding back his tears. When he was alone in Trowa�s
arms, he would cry his heart out, cry for his friend who had gone through so
much, cry for Duo who had been the last person to deserve such a thing. But
now, Duo needed his strength.

�� Trowa didn�t
tell you, did he?�

�� No,� Quatre said, still stroking his loose
hair.

�� I wish someone could love me like that. He
tries to protect you from everything, but knows when not to smother you.�
Quatre smiled.

�� I have some Chinese food.� Duo let him
help him sit up and gingerly took a stick into slightly trembling fingers.

�� Your body is still feeling the effects of
caffeine withdrawal. You�ll be feeling shaky and disoriented for the next few
days,� Quatre informed him. Duo took small bites, holding the tender meat in
his mouth for a while and savoring the strong flavor for as long as he could as
though it were his first meal. After a while, his actions became bolder, yet
too mechanical for Quatre�s liking. Finally, Duo
managed to eat four.

�� What? You�re not gonna
tell me that everything�s gonna be alright? That
Heero will always love me?� Quatre ghosted a hand over Duo�s bangs.

�� No,� he said kindly, �I don�t know how
Heero feels,� he smiled, �but I do know how you feel and I know how I feel. I
love you. It isn�t the kind of love you need from Heero, but isn�t it enough?
Will you really continue to destroy yourself over this?�

�� I�m a soldier, Quat.
Even if my soul�s dead, I can still fight, I will still fight.� Quatre
shuddered at that.

�� Isn�t there anything I can do to comfort
you?� Duo smiled and leaned forward on Quatre�s chest.

�� Just keep doing what you�re doing.�

�� Don�t
leave me alone

�� *Crack*

�� Heero stumbled backwards as Trowa punched him hard.

�� BASTARD! Motherless son of a bitch!� Trowa
shoved him hard against the wall, Heero�s head making a loud crack as it
connected.

�� Where were you?! Where?!�
Heero rubbed the back of his head.

�� With Relena.
What the hell is your problem?!�

�� What the fuck were you doing with her?!�
The two glared at each other.

�� I was protecting her.� Trowa
laughed bitterly.

�� So that�s
what you were doing while Duo was crying for you late at night!� Heero stared
at him in shock.

�� What� Duo�� Trowa
sneered.

�� What did you expect? He almost died on
that mission. The only reason why he didn�t was for you. And where were you
when your lover needed you most?! Protecting your precious
princess!�

�� Trowa, where is
he?� Heero pleaded.

�� God, Heero! He went on a mission! You were
supposed to be here for him! You know how much we need that, especially Duo!�

�� Trowa-,�

�� What makes you think he wants to talk to you at all?�

�� Duo blinked his eyes open as he heard Trowa and Heero fighting downstairs.

�� Heero�s home,� he thought, but felt
nothing at all.

�� It was supposed to be a simple mission!�

�� Yeah? Even the
perfect soldier can get captured on a �simple mission�.�

�� Heero advanced the steps with a heavy
heart, replaying his and Trowa�s conversation over
and over in his head.

�� Something happened on Duo�s mission. He
got hurt and I fucked up majorly. But, even if I did,
why wouldn�t he want to see me? I know I screw up a lot, I�m not good at this
whole relationship thing, but, is it really too late to fix things?�

�� Quatre looked up as the door opened and
Heero, his eyes soft with emotion, nervously shuffled in. Quatre glared at him
heatedly, then relaxed his gaze as he looked down at
his sleeping friend who was still using his lap as a pillow and gently shook
Duo awake.

�� Duo blinked up at Quatre then at Heero.

�� Oh,� he murmured flatly. Heero watched in
concern as Quatre helped Duo�s shaky body sit up.

�� As Quatre left, he sent Heero another
glare. Heero turned to look at Duo, noting his shaking hands resting in his
lover�s lap.

�� It�s the caffeine,� Duo said in a quiet
voice. Heero blinked.

�� Huh?�

�� I had to take twelve caffeine pills to get
back. I�m still going through the withdrawal.� Heero paused, mulling that over.

�� Duo� I�m sorry.�

�� Sorry for what? Sorry for loving her more
than me? Sorry for using me? Sorry for not being there when I really needed
you? Sorry for being with her when I was� was�,� Duo wrapped his arms around
himself and shuddered.

�� When you were what, Duo?�

�� None of your damn
business!� Duo snapped. Heero grabbed his hands tightly, holding onto
them even as Duo flinched and tried to pull away.

�� How can you say those
things?! I lo- care for you! I� I don�t like her like that. I never used
you. I thought you understood that,� Heero stared into Duo�s deep, troubled
eyes.

�� I am
sorry for not being here. Hell, saying I had to protect Relena
is a sucky excuse.� Duo looked down at Heero�s hands
holding his own.

�� Trowa didn�t
tell you� that�s why��

�� What are you talking about? Trowa didn�t tell me what?�
Duo finally managed to get his hands free.

�� Don�t touch me.� Heero�s eyes widened.

�� Duo� what�s wrong?� He reached out to hold
him, but stopped, remembering Duo�s remark. Duo fisted his hands in the sheets.

�� What happened? Why do you think that I-,�

�� I was raped.�

�� It�s too quiet up there,� Quatre murmured.

�� I don�t trust him.� Trowa
chopped the carrots extra hard, �he�ll hurt him, and we�ll be left to pick up
the pieces.�

�� How can you say that?!�
Wufei snapped, �Yuy may not
have a wonderful personality, but he loves Maxwell.�

�� You always hurt the ones you love. Duo is
already in enough pain. I won�t allow Heero to hurt him anymore because of his
foolishness.� Quatre looked at him, worried. Surely Heero wouldn�t hurt his
love after all he had been through� right?

�� raped?� Heero murmured. �I��

�� Now you know,� Duo fisted the sheets
tightly,� please leave. Go back to her, I-,� Heero grabbed his shoulders.

�� How can you say that?!
Am I that insensitive?! To leave you after you tell me something like that?!
For what?! Relena?! You think you�re so unimportant, so dirty, that I
wouldn�t touch you?! Comfort you?!� Heero started to cry as he hugged Duo
tightly.

�� You�re not. You�re special. I love you. I
would never leave you, not like that. So, please, don�t tell me to. I need
you�� Duo blinked, his own tears falling.

�� You said it�,� Heero laughed.

�� Yeah, I guess I did.� Heero looked at Duo.

�� Please tell me they�re dead.� Duo smiled
bitterly.

�� I didn�t dare.�

�� Of course not.
Shit, that was so insensitive, I�m sorry. I was such an ass. I should have been
there for you, I-,� Duo burrowed against Heero�s chest.

�� It doesn�t matter, as long as you don�t
leave me now.�

�� No, never.� Heero
stroked his hair and the two laid down together.

�� It�s too quiet up there, maybe they killed
each other,� Wufei mused. Quatre glared at him.

�� Hm. Death by
snuggling is more like it,� Trowa added.

�� I thought you were sure Heero was going to
hurt him.� Trowa shrugged.

�� Stranger things have happened.�

End
Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
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Sleep's a Privilege, Not a Right