Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Maintaining	By : Pixelgoddess Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7968 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Family
- 2-Weakness
- 3-Regret
- 4-Preparations
- 5-Picnic
- 6-Realization
- 7-Releasing
- 8-Light
- 9-Protector
- 10-Pissy!?
- 11-Roommates?
- 12-Discoveries
- 13-Last
- 14-Falling
- 15-Fever
- 16-Fire
- 17-Steam
- 18-Tango
- 19-Shadows
- 20-Burning
- 21-Paranoia
- 22-Fitting In
- 23-Ties
- 24-Bonds?
- 25-Awakenings
- 26-Goodbye
- 27-Companion
- 28-Wet
- 29-Knots
- 30-Warnings
- 31-Sidelined
- 32-Daze
- 33-Fear
- 34-Heat
- 35-Comfort
- 36-Fury
- 37-Memory
- 38-Landing
- 39-Torture
- 40-Death
- 41-Anger
- 42-Victory?
- 43-Remorse
- 44-Healing
- 45-Belonging
- 19
- 20
- 21
Maintaining

By Pixelgoddess

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence (later), rape (later), angst (right away). A Goku that started out cheerful, but is now as angst-filled as Vegeta. A nice dyke Chichi.

Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, Chichi/OC. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.

Summary: Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, R/V, Yuri - CC/OC

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Chapter 20 - Burning

Goku had run out of ideas. Vegeta couldn't see him - couldn't hear him. He couldn't break through. Vegeta couldn't get free.
The drain on his ki had increased, but he wouldn't stop it even if he could. His prince's ki had vanished and Vegeta would die without him. He couldn't let that happen. Goku refused to let him go - he wouldn't let Frieza get his hands on him again. He would do anything to protect Vegeta from that torture - even if it meant his own death.

He wanted to scream his anguish as another spear of fire ran up his spine. Vegeta was taking his strength and building an attack to destroy his nightmare vision. His prince didn't know it wasn't real - he was going to die, alone, haunted by his failure to protect his son.

Goku couldn't do it. He couldn't let Vegeta die like that. He closed his eyes and concentrated...

He was suddenly in the cage, standing close to his prince. He lifted his hands with a tremendous effort, placing one hand on Vegeta's shoulder, the other against his cheek.

"Vegeta, I'm here. I can hear you. Please. This isn't real - Trunks is safe."

Vegeta's reaction was instantaneous. He stopped shouting and stared up in surprise.

"Kakarott?" he asked hoarsely.

" It's me, Vegeta. Please. You have to stop now, or you will be killed."

Vegeta turned his head to look where his nightmare Frieza was attacking his son. Gone? "Trunks?"

"He's safe," Goku answered, trying to ignore the pain that was flooding him. Vegeta was still draining his ki, sending it crashing against the walls of their prison. "Please Vegeta - stop. I can't take much more. If you don't, we are both going to die."

Vegeta looked around wild-eyed, as if he only now realized where they were. He closed his eyes, trembling, and whispered, "Safe?"

"Yes," Goku answered, moving closer to envelop his prince in his arms, ignoring the fire that seared through him.

He closed his eyes, shuddering as a spasm passed through him. Vegeta had to be in as much agony as he was. He pulled Vegeta closer as he felt him go limp, the energy surrounding them fading. He took a deep breath, and then opened them again.

They were out! This was the real world! He looked down at Vegeta, his arms still wrapped protectively around his prince. Oh GodS!

"Vegeta!" he cried, panicked. The heat he had felt was real! Vegeta's skin was burned - blackened and blistered - falling away. He was unconscious and barely alive, every breath harsh and rasping. Goku was hysterical. "Vegeta, no, please, you can't die. I need you. Please. You can't leave me." He knew he was just as injured, but he didn't care.

"Son," Piccolo said as he dropped to the ground in front of them. He had left the women with Gohan and returned as soon as he felt the Saiyans' kis dropping. He looked at the pair and grimaced. Their burns were horrifying - neither one should still be breathing. He was sure Goku was only seconds from realizing the extent of his injuries, and then he would be suffering so much there would be no chance of reaching him.

"Goku! Can you teleport?" Piccolo demanded. Son had let Vegeta drain him nearly dry trying to keep the prince from dying. He still hadn't blocked him - which was probably the only reason Vegeta was still alive. They had to get to Dende immediately. Neither one would survive a wait for Senzu or a flight to the Lookout.

Goku slowly looked up at the sound of his name and stared at the Namek with glassy eyes. "He's dying Piccolo," he sobbed.

"I know." He couldn't remember ever seeing Son looking so lost - and he had never seen him cry before. "You have to get him to the Lookout right now."

"Help me," Goku pleaded, holding out a red, peeling hand.

Piccolo took his hand, not wanting to cause him more pain, but knowing he had no choice. He carefully began feeding the Saiyan his ki. "Now Goku. Do it now."

~~~~~~~~~

"DENDE!" Piccolo bellowed as soon as they arrived. "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

"What...?" Dende asked as he came running, Popo close behind. "Goku!"

Piccolo snarled as the little twerp ran past Vegeta to get to Goku's side, completely ignoring the prince in his rush to get to the younger Saiyan.

"'Geta first," Goku mumbled, slipping into shock. "Can't die."

"You heard him. Heal Vegeta first," Piccolo demanded.

"...promised...protect...can't have...again..." Goku continued as consciousness faded.

"But Goku..." Dende protested.

"DO IT!"

~~~~~~~~~

Vegeta shifted, trying to get comfortable, nearly groaning in pain but quickly stifling it. His whole body throbbed through to the bone. He tried to sit up, ignoring the agony that movement caused, but failed, falling back to the pillows with a moan.

Where was he? The ceiling was a deep blue that he would find soothing under other circumstances. He could see blue and white curtains moving in a cool breeze. It felt familiar and unthreatening, but right now he couldn't make sense of it.

He closed his eyes, shuddering as he remembered. If he had the strength right now he would run - hiding his shame. He had let a fear he had suppressed for more than a year rise to the surface, allowing one of his nightmares to attack him during his waking hours.

He would do anything to protect his boy from monsters that he knew were real. But he couldn't - even in his dreams. Sometimes he was held back, imprisoned - prevented from saving his son. Other times were worse - he would just stand there, watching - laughing - like the monster he was afraid of becoming. It made it so hard to relax now when he was alone with Trunks - what if Frieza had made him into that monster? It was easier when his brat of a friend was around...he could believe they would protect each other from him. He wasn't like that - he couldn't - he wouldn't. He knew how terrifying...how painful...how degrading it was. No, he would never -

But ever since he had returned from hell...when he had lost to Frieza yet again...he kept blacking out. He would suddenly wake up, aware of only the fact that time had passed, but no memory of what he had done. More than once he had woken up in some forest or field in another part of the world, bruised and battered as if he had been fighting. There was never any clue of why he was there or whom he had fought with. Every time he would return home, silently checking on his son, making sure that he was safe.

He had never...he would never...but, GodS, what had happened during those missing hours and days?

That woman - Rezu - had started talking about just that possibility, and he had snapped. The fear he had buried had risen to the surface, but this time it had been Frieza who was attacking his son. What would he have done if he had been trapped in that prison watching himself...? What if Kakarott had seen him doing that to Trunks? Then...then...he would have begged Kakarott to kill him - knowing he deserved to be in hell - deserved everything that Frieza did to him.

But he didn't - he hadn't - it had been Frieza torturing his son. And Kakarott had seen... That had been Kakarott - not a dream, not a fantasy - he had somehow gotten into his mind, trying to free Trunks and himself from that nightmare.

Oh GodS! Kakarott! What had happened to him?

He sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed, ignoring the agony lancing through his body. He struggled to bury the fear that the younger Saiyan would punish him - reject him - for what happened - he had attacked the woman, he had let Frieza...NO! He couldn't...he wouldn't...please, GodS - he wouldn't...he needed Kakarott.

He went to stand and gave a groan of pain as his legs collapsed under him and he crumpled to the floor. He resisted the urge to continue moaning as fire coursed through him, every muscle burning.

"Idiot," Piccolo said, crossing the room to stand in front of the prince.

Vegeta raised his head to glare at him, growling his annoyance as the Namek picked him up and sat him back on the bed.

"Keep your fucking hands off of me!" he hissed.

"Yes, your highness, right away your highness," Piccolo said sarcastically, picking up a glass of water from a table beside the bed. "Drink this," he commanded, giving it to Vegeta, "You're dehydrated from your Saiyan Torch trick."

"What the hell...?" Vegeta asked, confused. He didn't resist and drank without protest.

"You don't remember?" Piccolo asked, raising an eye ridge.

"Some of it..." he admitted quietly. "The woman...?"

"She's fine. Chichi gave her the last Senzu."

Vegeta couldn't meet his eyes - and continued to stare down into the now empty glass.

"Trunks and Goten were deranged. They almost saw their fathers die. Gohan had to power up just to keep them from getting too close."

"Is he...Is Trunks...alright?" Vegeta asked quietly.

"He's not hurt."

Vegeta gave an audible sigh of relief.

"Damn it, Vegeta - what in the hell were you trying to do? What were you thinking?"

"I should never have been brought back," Vegeta said under his breath.

"Don't be an ass."

Vegeta glared at him, angry with himself for forgetting how well the Namek could hear.

"I'm not. I'm being realistic. I've become a danger to everyone around me," he snapped.

"So you had a bad day. That doesn't mean you don't deserve to live."

"It could happen again," he muttered.

"So you were trying to kill yourself."

"No. That's not what happened."

Piccolo looked down at Vegeta with concern. The prince was actually slumped - something he had never seen before. He took the glass away and refilled it, waiting until it was empty before continuing.

"Vegeta - I don't know what really happened - but you should know...your ki dropped - vanished. You should be dead - and you almost took Goku with you. You would be dead, if it weren't for him. He let you take everything."

Vegeta raised his head to stare at Piccolo at the sound of the other Saiyan's name.

"Kakarott?" he breathed.

"He's alive - barely. He was willing to let himself die in order to keep you alive. He wouldn't let Dende heal him - insisted that you get healed first..."

Vegeta grimaced. "There is no fucking way I am healed."

"Even Dende has his limits. You used Goku's ki to turn the pair of you into well-done Saiyan steaks. You were literally cooked - and you looked it."

Vegeta looked down at his hands, considering what the Namek had said. He had been concentrating on destroying Frieza - not caring how. Piccolo's description, though crude, felt accurate. But he had hurt Kakarott that badly?

"Kakarott? How long?" he asked with concern.

"You've been here at the Lookout for three days. I had to fight with Goku so he would let the twerp heal him enough to be stabilized. Goku won't let Dende do anymore - you've gotten all of his healing. Goku only gains consciousness long enough to stop him every time he tries to help him. And it will be another day - probably two - before any Senzu are ready."

"Where...where is he?" Vegeta asked, moving to stand again.

"Over there," Piccolo said, tilting his head toward one of the curtains. He growled his annoyance as he realized the idiot planned to try to walk over. "But there is no way I'm letting you undo the work Dende has done."

He effortlessly scooped up the prince in his arms, ignoring his cursing protests. "Shut up, Shorty. You're worse than the brats." He unceremoniously dropped the complaining Saiyan in a chair beside Goku's bed.

Vegeta glared at Piccolo, promising death, before struggling to his feet to look at the face of the young Saiyan. Oh GodS! He had done this! Kakarott's skin was red - peeling and blistered with painful looking open wounds. His breathing was harsh and ragged, and his brow was furrowed in obvious pain.

"Vegeta," Piccolo said quietly. "Do you realize what you have? He trusts you. He cares about you - you, your safety...your life. Goku doesn't want you to die. He said he needs you, and I believe him. You are the most important thing in the world to him. He gave you everything - he didn't hold anything back."

Vegeta gently brushed Kakarott's bangs off his face as Piccolo spoke. Was it true? Was it possible? Did Kakarott really need him? Even after this?

"I know something is bothering you - something you don't want anyone to know about."

Vegeta glanced up at the Namek before turning his back to him, putting all of his attention on Kakarott.

"Have you ever stopped to consider - maybe he won't care - it won't change how he feels..."

Vegeta took a shaky breath.

"Vegeta..." Piccolo said hesitantly.

Vegeta gently brushed his fingers over Kakarott's creased brow. "He's in pain," he murmured.

Piccolo gave a resigned sigh. "I'll see what I can do," he answered, turning and sweeping out of the room.

Vegeta sat on the edge of the bed, fingers lacing through normally soft black hair - now singed from the heat. Kakarott's ki was so low - he truly had been drained. Vegeta's own ki felt strange to him - not the erupting yellow flare he was used to. It was closer to Kakarott's - a soft green cloud surrounding him, his own yellow burning from within.

He gently picked up Kakarott's limp tail, fingers carefully examining the delicate bones for injury. He shouldn't be doing this...it wasn't right to touch another's tail without permission...but he had wanted to stroke the soft fur for so long...

As he gently ruffled the fur he listened to Kakarott's ki. Would his own ever return, or would his ki always bear Kakarott's mark? And did he care? It almost felt like a sign of ...possession? ...claiming? ...protection?

He carefully placed his tail back on the bed as he heard voices approach - it sounded like Piccolo was returning with Dende and Mr. Popo.

"I told you before, Piccolo - there's no use. He won't let me touch him," Dende said with exasperation.

"Try again," Vegeta growled.

Dende blinked in surprise. "Vegeta. You're awake?"

Piccolo rolled his eyes at the young Namek's ability to state the obvious.

Vegeta snapped his tail in annoyance, immediately regretting the movement, but unwilling to let the Guardian see how much it hurt. "No, I'm still unconscious, laying on that bed over there - you are just imagining me."

Piccolo smirked at the return of the arrogant prince.

"Kakarott is in pain. Fix him," he demanded.

Dende sighed as he moved to the bed. "Don't you think I have tried? I've told Piccolo and I'm telling you. He.Won't.Let.Me," he said, glaring at the prince.

"Try again," Piccolo commanded.

Dende held his hands over Goku's chest, a bright green glow radiating from his fingers. Almost immediately, Goku's hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him away.

"No," Goku breathed. "Ve...gee..."

"Kakarott," Vegeta said, as he carefully freed the Namek, taking care not to injure the young Saiyan. "I can wait. It is your turn now."

"No," Goku insisted.

Dende drew his hand back, rubbing his wrist and complaining.

Vegeta took the hand he had just removed from the Namek and bent to whisper in the young Saiyan's ear.

"Kakarott, you said you would stop if I told you to. I am telling you to stop. Let Dende do this." He felt the slightest answering pressure to his hand and nodded at the Guardian.

As the glow surrounded Goku, he immediately began to look better. His skin lost the painful red shine, the blisters and peeling vanishing. His breath stopped its painful gasping, slipping into soft, steady sighs.

When Dende finished, the silent Mr. Popo carefully escorted him from the room.

Piccolo quickly studied Vegeta and Goku's conditions and scowled at the retreating Dende's back.

"You were out for a few days after Dende healed you - he'll probably be the same. When he does wake up make him drink plenty of water Vegeta - you too. You probably won't be able to eat much, but I'll see that you have food."

Vegeta nodded distractedly, fingers stroking Kakarott's now unblemished cheek. He didn't even notice when Piccolo left, too busy studying his face. Was it possible that the Namek was right and Kakarott would forgive him?

Not long ago, he would have sworn Kakarott was only capable of making that foolish grin, smiling and laughing no matter what was happening. It took battle to bring out the hardened, angry expression. But lately Vegeta had seen something different - there was something about the way Kakarott had looked at him. Something he had never seen before. Was this the 'love' he had spoken of?

Did it really change the way Kakarott saw him?

He knew he was not a good person. He had killed - he had learned to...not exactly enjoy it...but to look forward to it. He remembered his first kill - it was shortly after the destruction of his planet. He had felt like he was drowning in his emotions - anger, grief, loss, betrayal, denial, relief, hatred... Even Radditz was no comfort, too grief-stricken to be able to help him. And then Frieza had beaten him yet again. Within hours he had been dragged out of the tanks and shoved into a ring with a weak little white alien that looked a lot like the lizard. He had snapped then - baring his teeth and snarling his rage he had lunged forward, literally ripping his opponent to pieces. Just for a minute, he was the more powerful one. Killing those who were weaker became the only way he could prove to himself he was in control.

Part of him died that day along with his victim. He had heard Frieza's laughter and understood it - he had done exactly what the lizard wanted him to do. He knew then if he didn't escape he would eventually turn into the monster Frieza wanted him to be.

He thought he was finally free after Namek. He tried to bury that monster that lurked in his mind - he had succeeded. Frieza had long been his voice of doubt, but his pride had always carried him through. He had still had the occasional nightmare, but not to the crippling level it had become since Buu. And now...he swore he was going insane. Frieza's voice taunted him constantly. He had attacked a woman who was only trying to protect his son. And Kakarott...the only one who had been truly kind - gentle...he had done this to him.

"Kakarott, I wouldn't blame you if you hated me," he whispered.

"I could never hate you, Vegeta," said a soft voice.

~~~~~~~~

Piccolo had remained out of sight, watching Vegeta. He hoped, for his sake, that Goku would actually be able to help the prince. Goku seemed to have made a dent in his armor, but would it be enough?

At least they would recover - they would both be in considerable pain for the next few days. He was kind of surprised that Vegeta had stayed on his feet for as long as he had. He wished Dende had been able to do more for Vegeta - it wasn't good for his current state of mind to be in so much pain.

He was about to go find Mr. Popo so he could bring Vegeta some food when Goku woke up.

::What the fuck...?::

He stormed away, scowling and cursing, hunting for his prey.

It only took him a few seconds before he located his victim.

"Dende!" he growled, jerking up the Guardian up by the neck and slamming him against a wall.

He ignored Mr. Popo's cries of protest, brandishing a ki-filled palm at the genie.

"Stay out of this!" he snarled, never taking his eyes off the Namek dangling from his grasp.

"P-p-piccolo?" Dende gasped.

"What did you do to Vegeta?" Piccolo demanded, baring his fangs.

TBC
- 19
- 20
- 21
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Maintaining