Worlds Collide | By : TheBatcave Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 766 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter 20: Psychopath
Jeice was in a store room in the living quarters, putting alcohol into boxes ready to be taken through to the dining area. It was late, coming up to midnight. Everyone was asleep in their beds, apart from those wanting to gather for a little merriment. He didn't hear much outside the room thanks to all the bottles clanking together; he jumped when Gohan suddenly stormed in.
"I need a fucking drink," panted as he leaned against the door frame. He wasn't exhausted from running, but from the cracked rib he'd just acquired.
"Is it that bad?"
"It really is."
"Want to tell me why it's so bad?" asked Jeice cautiously.
"Not really," said Gohan; he wanted to block it out and forget what he'd just said to Cell. He didn't know why he said it. And the horrible thing about was that he didn't know whether he meant it or not. "I just need to be drunk right now."
As Gohan ran his left hand through his hair, Jeice became startled when he noticed something.
"Kid, you're bleeding," he gasped.
"Huh?"
Gohan had forgot all about the wound on his wrist; he'd put his bands back on without cleaning it first, drying blood was smeared up his forearm.
"What happened?"
"Nothing," he lied, trying to clean it off with nothing but his fingers and his own spittle. His wrist was still stinging and itching like crazy, especially now that his wrist band was probably glued on to him. He was not looking forward to ripping that off with the scabs later on.
"Holy shit!"
"What?" Gohan prepared to defend himself when he figured Jeice was going to press him for answers.
"We've never got drunk together, have we?!" he exclaimed in a moment of realisation. Gohan felt relieved; Jeice knew him enough not to make him talk about something he didn't want to. At that bizarre moment, Gohan finally found trust in somebody.
"Uh, no... no we haven't!"
Jeice opened a couple of bottles before handing one over to him.
"Fancy a quiet one before we join the guys?"
Gohan smiled and took the bottle from him, feeling relatively comfortable and calm for once.
A quiet one turned into a few... and at about 1am, Jeice stumbled into the communal area with one box of beers under each arm.
"Whoops," he scoffed, putting them down on the table.
"Drunk already, Jeice?" laughed Krillin. Gohan followed him in, closing the door behind him. He also had a box of beer with him, but Gohan pulled off the pretend sober walk much better - he secretly had years of practice. "Hey, Gohan!"
"Hey," he replied as pleasantly as he could. The booze was helping somewhat with that.
Krillin seemed really happy to see him there. Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, Master Roshi, Oolong and Puar were also there, along with Burter, Recoome and Guldo. They each got started on the drinks in front of them, descending into chatter and merriment as if the world wasn't ending outside those walls.
"So, Gohan. How are you?" asked Yamcha a couple of drinks later.
"I'm good." Gohan smiled back at him, he was on his sixth drink and as a result, his disposition was a lot cheerier and laid back.
"We missed you, dude!"
"Yeah, place hasn't been the same without you! Your mom's been running us riot!"
"That's my mom all over... "
Gohan despised small talk more than most things, feeling more at ease when Jeice staggered over to him. Gohan laughed as he fell onto the chair next to him, catching him by his arm to stop him from collapsing onto the floor. Jeice giggled with him as he took another swig of his beer.
"I've bloody missed you, man," he chuckled as he put his arm around him.
"I've missed you too," said Gohan cheerfully.
"We need to do this more! You are the mellowest drunk I've ever met."
"And you're the loudest drunk I've ever met."
"That's a fucking achievement, I've been getting wrecked with Recoome most of my adult life."
"Hey, Jeice, how many have you had?" laughed Krillin.
"Probably enough," he replied, rubbing his eyes and putting the bottle down to take a break for the first time in an hour. He turned to Gohan again, removing his arm from his shoulders.
"Your head's going to hurt tomorrow," said Gohan teasingly.
"Yeah, I bet you aren't getting away with it either!" chuckled Jeice. "This, right here, needs to happen more often, you hear!"
"Loud and clear, big mouth!"
"I have barely seen you at all since you and Cell became... I don't even know."
"Me neither," shrugged Gohan as he began drinking again. He was trying to block out the events that took place earlier that night, and also trying not to care about the uncomfortable stares he was getting from his friends... apart from the Ginyus of course.
"I never much liked you drunk," remarked Cell as he leaned his shoulder against the wall. He found Gohan alone later that night, clearly a little intoxicated.
"Fuck off," said Gohan harshly as he rolled his eyes.
"You should know by now that harsh words don't work on me."
"Go away... " he sighed.
"Are you expecting a response?"
Gohan didn't dare look at him, and it was a good thing he didn't; Cell was wearing an insufferable smirk.
"I... I don't know why I said that," he replied, shaking his head with embarrassment more than anything.
"Is it true?"
"What?"
"Do you love me?"
Gohan finally looked at him, not finding that insufferable smirk, but a look of curiosity.
"No," he said, but then he sighed again. "I don't know... "
What are you doing?! Gohan was convinced that his mind was playing tricks on him. He couldn't love Cell. Not this monster.
"Why?"
"I don't know!" cried Gohan. "I just... it's just being here. With everyone. I spent so long feeling trapped by you, and now that I'm here with my family, all I want to do is be with you. And I don't even know why."
He combed his hair back with his hand, Cell watching as it fell back over his face again when he let go of it. "It just came out, and the worse thing is that it felt right. Being with you is the only thing that feels remotely right to me."
"You know that I don't return your feelings, right?"
A part of Gohan's heart sank after hearing that, but yes, he already gathered that much.
"I don't expect anything from you." He knew that Cell was a being incapable of love, or any feeling like it. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
"If you want. Didn't think you had anymore in you after last night."
"I don't... I just want to sleep."
Gohan woke up in Cell's arms a couple of hours later, his head buried against the crook of his neck as they lay on their sides.
"How do you do it?"
"What?"
"How do you not care about anything?"
"It's a lot easier than you think it is."
"To you, maybe."
Gohan never outwardly said it, but one thing he admired about Cell was his ability to detach himself from everything around him; and he wanted to know how to do it.
"Your human emotions are a weakness. They make you care when you don't want to."
"It's weird that in spite of how numb I feel most of the time, my conscience is still there in the back of my head."
"And yet, you're sleeping soundly in my arms. There's a part of you that doesn't have a conscience, but you reject it when you should embrace it."
Gohan knew he was referring to the saiyan part of him; it was something in himself that he didn't want to know, that he kept hidden away.
"That part of me is vile and disgusting," said Gohan spitefully.
"It's magnificent."
Gohan raised his eyebrows and lifted his head a little so he could see him properly. He really didn't know how to take that.
"Said the psychopath." Gohan didn't mean to say that. "Sorry... "
"Don't be. I am a psychopath. Don't apologise for speaking the truth."
"Am I a psychopath?" asked Gohan, his voice sounding worried.
"I wouldn't say so. But you have the potential to be."
"To be like you?" Gohan propped himself up onto his elbow.
"You don't want to be like me," laughed Cell. "You don't want to be inside my head."
"Don't I?" he asked, his eyes showing his interest. "You're so closed off that I barely know you."
"You know all you need to know."
"What? Your fighting style? There's more to you than that."
"What do you want to know?"
"I dunno... what's your favourite color?" he asked pathetically. Cell didn't even dignify that with a laugh as he just raised an eyebrow. "What?!"
"You may as well ask me if I like killing people."
"... do you?" Gohan wasn't sure whether he wanted to really know.
"What do you think?" Cell said that with a devious smile that made Gohan both uneasy and curious.
"You actually like it? It's not just your programming?"
"There's a difference between killing impulsively and enjoying it," said Cell.
"Didn't think it was that complicated."
"Well, do you enjoy killing?"
"No... "
"Not at all?"
Gohan paused for a second before confessing.
"Depends who it is... and why... "
"Such as?"
"I enjoyed killing you," said Gohan quickly. He didn't know why he was blushing exactly. "I've never told anyone that... "
"That's flattering." Cell watched as Gohan laughed a little.
"You never answered me. Do you like killing?"
"You aren't ready to know that."
"After what we did last night?"
"Hm... that was fun. I do like when you squirm."
"Try me."
"Okay," Cell looked at him directly before he started talking. "Do you ever watch out for that moment when someone disappears? That split second where that spark in their eyes goes out?"
Gohan didn't respond, but the android noticed that his breathing sped up a little.
"Too much for you?"
"No," he replied instantly. "Keep going."
"I try not to end it too quickly. First I like to back them into a corner, either physically or figuratively. Look for that moment when they realise there's nowhere to run."
Gohan barely noticed Cell's hand was was moving through his hair almost lovingly.
"The thing about people, is that they tend to hold onto that hope that someone will save them right to the very end. Even if they feel that hope was already gone. So I soak up that hope and turn it against them, I see everything in their eyes before I've even laid a hand on them. You literally see their life flashing before them... "
Cell leaned in closer to Gohan's face, the saiyan was hanging on to every word.
"Then it's yours."
Gohan gasped rather loudly as he felt a cold blade at his throat, his head pulled back by his hair. He let out a sigh of relief in the form of a breathy laugh when he realised that Cell had no intenion of slicing his head off.
"That's the feeling I get, right there."
"Fear?" asked Gohan, catching his breath.
"That wasn't fear. That was thrill."
"What's the difference?"
"You liked it."
Cell removed the knife from him, and put it out of harm's way, releasing his grip on Gohan's hair in the process.
"That's when you start to physically hurt them. Play with them a little. I decide whether I want it to be fast or slow. If it's fast, I could take out a major artery, put my hand through their chest, crush their skulls in the palm of my hand."
"And if it's slow?"
"I pick them apart. Piece by piece. Watch that hope gradually fade and fear grow. Humans are the most stubborn creatures. the hang on and fight for their lives instinctively. I always want to see how far I can push that instinct to live... before I take it away."
Gohan felt sick, but remained hooked on Cell's voice.
"There's nothing that really compares to having that power... choosing how long that person lives."
Cell closed in, tracing his lips along his neck.
"Choosing when they die."
He cupped his face with his other hand to keep him there.
"I can feel your pulse racing and I really want to stop it," he whispered against his jugular. Gohan felt that rush again, more so when he felt his neck being softly bitten right over the artery. "Hmm, the things I could do to you."
Oh fuck... Gohan half wished he'd never asked, but his heart was thumping so hard that it gave him such excitement.
"It varies from person to person, but that moment... " Cell pulled back, hovering over his face. "It's not something you look for, it's something you feel. Just as they realise that is it's all over... just before they stop fearing death..."
He brushed his lips against Gohan's, the saiyan didn't dare move.
"That's when you take them," he whispered, kissing him softly.
Gohan wasn't sure about how he felt about that... scared? Excited?
"How are you going to kill me?" he asked without thinking. Did he want to know?
"So slowly you won't even notice." He went back to his neck, kissing the pale flesh.
"When?" Gohan felt an erotic laugh against his skin.
"I started killing you months ago."
Gohan laughed in return, he felt oddly relieved that he didn't have to wait anymore.
"Can I confess something?"
"Hm?"
"I like dying."
"I knew killing you would be different. I don't want fear from you. Or hope. I just want you to lose yourself."
"Sorry if I'm not as fun to kill," he apologised jokingly.
"I've only ever just murdered my victims, only caught a glimpse of who they were. It's different with you."
Cell moved up to his ear.
"I know you in so many ways. I know where your weaknesses are. I know what makes you mad. What makes you cry. I even know when you're hungry. And I know what it truly feels like to have you."
"I want to have you," said Gohan, his eyes closing. "It hurts that I can't have you." Cell laughed again as he lifted his head up to look at his face.
"I know it does."
"So is it better? Knowing the person?"
"Yes. You know their weak points. What scares them. To pick them apart piece by piece, but inside their heads." Cell caressed his face as he spoke. "Sure, you could physically hurt them, much like I would when they're nothing but a stranger. But being hurt mentally? That's was really hurts them. I've learned that if you truly want to murder someone, you do it from the inside. Don't kill the body, kill the person."
"So, when are you going to put me out of my misery?"
"That all depends what you mean. Will I eventually kill you? Absolutely. But will I put you out of your misery?" Cell put his lips to Gohan's ear again. "Never."
Gohan was a bag of nerves the next morning as they all gathered for another meeting, for them all to get caught up on the situation. Luckily for him, Cell didn't show up, presumably to irritate Vegeta more than anything else; he hated being ordered about. He could feel him watching from a distance, though. Not that he let on to anybody else.
From what Gohan could gather, Frieza was gradually getting more and more powerful, fuelled by an unknown source of energy. He swung by every so often to taunt them, but it was his soldiers that tended to come in every other day to administer sedation to the fighters, pick on someone, and to make sure they were all in line and nobody sneaked out.
Burter, Recoome, Guldo, Cell and himself were to remain in hiding at these times. Chiaotzu and Tien had some remaining psychic ability in spite of their powers being sedated, enough to let everyone know when the soldiers intended to come in some time before they actually did.
Later that day, it was Zarbon and Dodoria who came in. Gohan watched alone from the shadows, his ki completely lowered so that he wouldn't be picked up by them. He barely paid attention to what was happening, just the usual sedation of the fighters and name calling... only this time Vegeta tried to bite Zarbon's arm. A big mistake.
"How dare you! How dare you touch me! You are not worthy of it!"
"Get over yourself, Zarbon!"
"Vegeta... " said Goku in a warning tone.
"Listen to your low class monkey friend, Vegeta."
"Back to name calling already, are we?" remarked Goku. It earned him a swift kick to the stomach which left him incapacitated.
Then he looked over to his mother, who sat with Goten close by her side. He could see the fear in her eyes but she looked at Zarbon defiantly. But then Goten decided enough was enough.
"Goten, come back!" cried Chi Chi.
"Stop hurting my daddy, you monster!" cried the child, running towards him.
Gohan had to stop himself from going to him when Zarbon smacked his younger sibling to one side as if he was nothing. The boy was out cold for a few seconds. He could only watch in horror at what was happening until Zarbon and Dodoria finally left. That half an hour felt like years.
Gohan must have held onto Goten for at least an hour before the younger sibling managed to wriggle free of him, wanting to go and play as if nothing had happened. He thought he knew fear - but now he really had.
When Zarbon had him, he wanted to kill him. But he had to hold back in the shadows, none of Frieza's soldiers knew that he had been staying there. He'd kept himself from caring for so long that it all came flooding back to him. He was angry that he couldn't do anything to stop them.
It had been two days since the incident. It was the middle of the night. He sat on his own in another desolate part of the warehouse where nobody could approach him. He still needed time to process what happened.
"There you are."
Gohan recognised Cell's voice, silently acknowledging it but didn't respond.
"Come on, I've got something to show you."
"What is it?" asked Gohan, finally looking at him.
"You'll see."
Gohan followed him into another hidden corner of the warehouse, into a small room where he was coaxed inside. It took him a few seconds to register what was in it.
"What the hell is this?"
It was Zarbon. Tied to a chair and blindfolded. Now he really felt his anger rising. He wanted revenge.
"He's sedated, he won't break free any time soon." Cell walked around and yanked his head back by his long, emerald braid. "Isn't that right, Zarbon?"
Zarbon responded to the pain of his best asset being pulled on with a yelp and a grimace.
"You'll pay for this, android!"
"He threatened your baby brother... what are you going to do about it?"
Gohan suddenly realised that this was all for him. He felt sick, but at the same time grateful.
"That little monkey brat? I wished I'd just killed him!"
That was all he needed.
Zarbon's hair was yanked back again, this time much harder. He felt someone else standing over him.
"Say that again..." said Gohan menacingly.
"Who are you?!"
"You're about to find out."
Gohan had no idea where this was all coming from, but it felt right for some reason. He was just following his gut feeling and no longer thinking about it.
"Brother huh? You're a filthy monkey too! Unhand me!"
Gohan slapped him hard in the face. Zarbon's head snapped to the side and blood flew out of his mouth. It made him feel... powerful. Then he noticed a knife that was place on the floor nearby. He picked it up, first examining the blade, and then peered over to his... prisoner.
"I will kill you! I swear it! I will tear you apart."
"My brother is 8 years old."
"So what?!"
"Yeah, I thought you'd say that. I was even younger than him when I first met you. Threatening to kill me."
"Wait, I know you!"
"How many children have you slaughtered?"
"What?!"
Gohan put the blade to Zarbon's throat, hard enough for him to feel it.
"I said, how many?"
"I - I don't know!"
He heard the fear start to come out, both in his voice and the way he was breathing. It was as if he was anticipating pain, he thought Gohan was going to hurt him. But Gohan was wondering - should he? Was it his place? Wouldn't that make him just as bad as Zarbon? Just as despicable as every other enemy he was unfortunate enough to come across.
He looked up at Cell as if he was seeking permission. But the android gave him nothing, just simply watched the events unfolding in front of him. If Gohan was going to make this choice, it was going to be on his own.
Don't kill the body. Kill the person.
Then Gohan had an idea. He knew enough about Zarbon to hurt him without tearing him apart as such; he knew about his relentless narcissism.
"How much do you care about your looks, Zarbon?"
"W-what?"
Gohan yanked on his hair yet again, but this time severed off his braid messily with the knife in his hand.
"No!"
"I don't think anybody actually cares. All anyone you meet sees you as a murderer or a lackey."
Gohan held the long braid in his hand for a few seconds before tossing it aside as if it was garbage. Now all he was thinking about was how to break him down, make him believe just how rotten he really was. He then threw one leg over him and sat on his lap, feeling him flinch.
"Get off me!"
"Did Frieza wipe out your race too?" he asked, his voice eerily calm and collected.
Zarbon didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
"Answer me... " Gohan dug the blade into his neck, gradually increasing the pressure until it broke the skin.
"Y-yes."
"So why would anyone giving a flying fuck how handsome you are. If everyone who ever cared is gone?"
Gohan eyed Cell for a second, shooting him a look that he'd never seen before - it was if Gohan's personality had totally shifted in that moment.
"Why would I care what an animal like you thinks about me?"
"You totally care. It's all you care about."
Gohan held his head still by what little hair he had left, took the knife and cut a neat little line across his cheekbone.
"No!"
"I know your transformation's really ugly. Let's see if we could make it even uglier."
"Why are you doing this?!"
"Because you deserve it."
He held his head in place again and sliced all the way down the other side of his face, from the temple to the jaw. He made it painful; deep and jagged. He didn't want it to heal neatly, he wanted it to scar him forever. He did the same across his forehead. Gohan's hands were covered in green blood as the wounds bled unforgivably. The white blindfold was so saturated in it that it stuck to his face and got into his eyes underneath it.
Zarbon was screaming, attempting to thrash his head to both ease the pain and get away from Gohan, but he couldn't shift the saiyan's iron grip on him, especially with his powers gone.
"Now your smile... if you ever smile again when I'm done with you... I think it should be wider."
"No! Let me go please! I won't hurt your brother again, I swear!"
"You won't hurt anybody again. You're going to be hiding away forever. You're not going to show what's left of your face ever again."
Gohan placed the blade to the left, dragging it from the cut that was already there, all the way to the corner of his mouth. He felt a hand brushing through his hair affectionately as he did it.
Then he did the other side, this time from the corner of his mouth to the outer corner of his eye, cutting partially through the blindfold. He felt an arm slither past his waist on the right and then heard a sickening cracking sound, followed by more screams from Zarbon. He looked down to see Cell's finger and thumb firmly breaking one of Zarbon's ribs.
"I know how much that one hurts. He did that to me too," he remarked. His had healed up perfectly by this point.
He was aware that Zarbon wasn't taking anything in that he was saying anymore, he was in too much pain. Then Gohan repeated Cell's movement, breaking two more ribs on his other side.
"That's it."
Gohan stared at his work as the android's voice hissed down his ear.
"He hurt your innocent baby brother... do you think he's paid for it yet?"
"Not even close," he answered. He reached out and pulled one of Zarbon's earrings out, tearing his earlobe in half in the process.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, then lips softly kissing the crook of his neck. His breathing sped up, then he used that rush to act on his instincts again, stabbing Zarbon in the gut. He watched him bleed, choke on his own blood as he passed out under him.
"Still not enough.
"So carry on."
"There's no point if he isn't screaming."
"That's true."
Gohan gasped as Cell's wandering hand reached his navel.
"I was right... you do have it in you."
"What?"
"To be a psychopath."
"Should we just leave him here?" asked Gohan, not taking his eyes of his work, still sat on Zarbon's unconscious body.
"No, I'll dump him somewhere. Wouldn't want anyone of your friends taking the blame for this."
His friends and family popped up in his head for a brief second, the very people he tortured Zarbon for - in the beginning. He got so lost in it, he almost felt like a different person. Gohan tossed the knife aside, noticing for the first time green blood splattered all over his arms and chest. Cell saw it again - another shift in Gohan's temperament; his facial features softened back to how they usually appeared.
"Go and clean yourself up, I'll take care of him."
Gohan stood up as Cell moved out of the way. He left the room without looking back, and kept walking until he got to the nearest functioning bathroom.
Did that really just happen?
Did he just torture someone? Not only that, but he took pleasure in it, too. Maybe his saiyan nature was more active and sadistic than he first thought. He washed all evidence of the torture off him and watched it all swirl down the drain as if it never happened. But he didn't regret it for a second. That monster hurt his brother, and he was going to pay for that for the rest of his existence.
Gohan went back to the scene of the torture to check if Cell had kept his word. The tiny, grotty room was clear, apart from the chair which eerily sat in the middle. As soon as he turned to leave, he was startled to see Cell right in front of him.
"Come to relive it already?"
"No... "
"Liar."
"I was just checking if you're as good at cleaning up messes as you are at making them," sneered Gohan. Cell merely smiled back at him. Gohan was different, not his usual self, not guilty, not scared; he sensed a shift in his energy once more. This was the pure saiyan standing before him.
"Your saiyan half truly is magnificent."
Cell's hand went towards his hair, only to be promptly smacked away.
"Don't fucking touch me. Especially when I'm cutting someone's face off. It's distracting."
"Sorry," laughed the android. "I couldn't help myself."
"Were you getting off on the torture or me?"
"Bit of both," he confessed. "But mostly you."
Gohan let Cell approach him, waiting patiently for the moment he touched. He felt lips on his neck, then shoved him away again.
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me," teased Gohan.
"You're right, actually."
The next thing he knew, he was pushed back against the nearest wall, his spine hitting it with a thud which took his breath away. The Cell was right there, holding him down by his shoulders, staring him down with that same insufferable smirk that he hated so much.
"You respond to being pushed around, don't you?"
"He might, but I don't... "
He? This was even more interesting than he first thought. Gohan had not only two halves to himself - but know they'd split apart.
"What do you respond to, then?"
Gohan turned the tables on him, pushing him hard against the adjacent wall, holding him there by his left upper arm, grabbing hold of his jaw with his other hand.
"That's for you to find out."
Cell didn't normally liken to being controlled, but in this case he made an exception - he really liked Gohan's alter. And he had an overwhelming urge to dominate him as well.
"Bend over, then," spat Cell teasingly.
"Catch me first."
Half a second later, Cell was in a heap on the floor and Gohan was gone.
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