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Moments In A Life	By : CardDragonBall Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3858 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Moments In A Life
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23--Last
- 20
- 21
- 22
Chapter 21

He killed her. He killed her. He KILLED her. It was him. Him. Not that faceless guy that his son had beaten up, not some sleazey night away from their bed. Him. The child he had put in her womb like poison that finally took her life and when it did�

He had hated her.

Unbelievable. Non-believable. Not true. It couldn�t be true. It had to be some sort of faulty circuitry in the computer or some human error or the kid wasn�t the kid they thought it was (really? Who else could that little girl be, Vegeta? Have you been fucking around with anyone that produces baby lately?) He couldn�t have killed her! It couldn�t be him! He lo�No. Wait.

Was it even okay to love her now? Could he do that? Could he forget how much he had hat�no, He had never hated her. That was the problem, wasn�t it? He had never hated her, but he had tried to convince himself that he had. Tried so hard that he nearly killed someone else to prove a fucking point that should have been proved becauI> hI> he Fucking Vegeta, Fucking Prince of all fucking Saiyans was the one that fucking killed Bulma.

He had hated her, he had looked down on her while she cried, had kicked her away from him when she quivered with her dying weakness and told her he hated her, hated her so much he couldn�t even look at her. But that was a lie, wasn�t it, Vegeta? Because he had looked at her, and he had wanted her, and he would have given anything to hold her while she died, to hold her while she lived, to beg her forgiveness.

Fuck.

It was too much. It was too hard. It was� Everything. It was nothing. It was something it was� He didn�t fucking KNOW what it WAS anymore! Didn�t fucking know what it WASN�T! Didn�t have a FUCKING CLUE! How was he supposed to deal with this?

Weakling, he thought viciously at himself, weakling. Weakling baby in the arms of a third class while you whimper and whine and make your nose run with salty tears because you�re such a fucking baby. She died. Mortals die. You�ve killed enough of them to know they died. And the bitch deserved it. She cheated on you, she drunk herself into a guiltless state and fucked someone else.

Maybe you didn�t kill her, maybe you just put that baby inside of her, but something killed her, and maybe that something is in the blood of that fuck that thought it was okay to put his grimy hands on YOUR woman.

He looke Kak Kakarot, then, saw his face up so close that it was a blur of colors, soft colors. Light skin, smooth, dark eyes and strange eyelashes. The arms were tight around him, prohibiting his movement and that was okay because he was afraid that he would be shaking so hard he couldn�t stand if the baka hadn�t been there to hold him.

�Vegeta?� Kakarot said, quietly, looking at him seriously.

�Hn.�

�You didn�t kill her, Vegeta. I know you�re thinking it. But you didn�t�� the bastard sounded like he was in pain, but then, that whole emotion-sensing bullshit worked overtime when you actually cared about other idiots� emotions, didn�t it?

�Shut up Kakarot,� he said. Soundly lame and tired.

A sigh was the response to that, a strange frown on the baka�s face and up close like he was, it didn�t look right. None of it looked right, none of it felt right because he was here alive with this man holding him, pressed against all this warm skin and it meant nothing because he had loved someone that he said he hated and he pushed her away thinking someone else�s baby had killed her.

�You�re a bastard, Vegeta,� Kakarot said, shoved him back so he was pressed against the wall, so he could see the frown on Kakarot�s face in the strange ugly glory of it. �Not everyone is a bastard like you. Some people really just want to help.�

Help? Right. The baka wanted to help. He always wanted to help. That�s why he was always on his fucking back. Because it was just so fucking helpful, right? A sick feeling went through Vegeta�s gut and he felt like someone had sucker-punched him for that thought. Wondered what in the hell his conscience was doing showing up at a time like this.

�Things get tough and the great Vegeta gives up?� Kakarot asked, �You fight so hard to make people believe that you don�t feel a thing, Vegeta, and you feel everything. I know you do.� He looked at Vegeta squarely: �Think you�re the only saiyan that can sense emotion?�

Mocking him with his own words. Radditz had done that once, then he had eaten part of Vegeta�s fist and spent a day and a half in a regeneration tank. He was a Prince, he had his pride and his dignity and people didn�t fucking mock him!

Kakarot moved away again, left him standing there, in the room that was chilly and bright. A foreign room he hadn�t been in since the woman told him that she was dying, and he didn�t want to be in here now with the baka giving him that look. That look that said: What? Gonna fuck me again? Gonna prove a point?

~~~***

It was a slow thing, the building tension in Vegeta�s body, the sharpening emotions. It took longer than he thought it would for the anger to work its way to the surface. It was filled with pain and regret and grief, which were all healthy things, normal things to feel but not in the crushing way that Vegeta felt them. He had been denying himself the right to deal with his problems for so long that it seemed as if he were never going to find a way to the surface.

Goku didn�t understand it. Nothing meant so much to him. Not really. He was just too �stupid� to understand the weight of betrayal. The heaviness of loving someone and losing them. People had died around him all his life, he had died, and it didn�t mean the same because somehow, in the end, they would all end up together. He understood that.

�I hate you,� Vegeta said, stood up straight, looked like the person that Goku remembered, with the glare and the muscles, with the definition of pride on every inch of him and that look that just screamed: come on, mess with me, I dare you.

�I know,� he said, flashed his idiot grin. Not because it was okay. It was far from okay, almost as far as they could get from okay in a single afternoon, but it was better. Vegeta was going to figure this thing out eventually, and Goku would hang around while he did. Wasn�t like they had anything better or worse to do with their time.

Silence. Vegeta frowned at the room they were standing in, at the grime on his hands from the fight he had just finished, then at Goku. Then back to the grime on his hands (when had Vegeta lost the gloves?) Prissy prince.

�Go take a shower,� Goku said, �I�ll make dinner.�

�Hn. Don�t burn down the house.� Like that was an answer. Short clipped words that were angry with him because he had pointed out what Vegeta�s weakness was, and used his own words against him. But the figouldould wait. Vegeta could hold a grudge as well as anyone Goku knew. He followed the Prince out of the room, all the way back to the kitchen where Vegeta headed upstairs and he stood in the middle of the room. Thought of what Bulma had said to him.

Don�t do what I did. Don�t break him

It was a difficult thought to take in. Mostly because it put him in a situation that he wasn�t sure he was in. Vegeta didn�t love him. They just�had sex. Fought a lot. Vegeta needed someone that wasn�t going to back down just because he barked loudly and acted like he wanted to murder the world. (Goku was almost sure that Vegeta�s planet purging days were in the past.) But that didn�t mean him and Goku were going to be in a position to �break� each other.

He shoved the thoughts out of his mind and set to cooking something. Nothing too difficult because he was exceedingly capable of burning down the house while trying to figure out how to make the oven work. So he took things lowly, ended up making some very simple rice. Didn�t even notice Vegeta until he turned around to face the table and found that he had nearly run into the towel-wearing, dripping wet Prince of Saiyans.

Why did Vegeta always have to look like he stepped out of a porn movie?

�Here,� Goku said, handed him a bowl of rice and Vegeta took it without comment, moved over to the table and stood there to eat the rice (he didn�t sit down, and Goku was sure that some part of Vegeta was always subconsciously trying to make Goku drool over him.

He didn�t drool. He ate his own rice and brooded on the facts that were before them. Bra was Vegeta�s daughter. Bulma was dead. Krillin and his wife were�what? Hopefully not in the middle of a brawl above the city park. Other than that, Goku had no idea. Wasn�t sure that getting involved would help them any.

His son seemed to rise out of his strange depression-type shock thing. Gohan was fairing pretty well. Trunks didn�t look like the healthiest thing ever, but the kid was resilient, he would work through it. That left the Prince and himself. He thought he was fine, really, it wasn�t too much of his mess to work through. Vegeta.

Too soon to tell.

The rice was gone; Vegeta left his bowl on the table, looked at him. Goku looked back. Wondered if it was completely wrong to be having sex-thoughts about Vegeta at the moment. After all, Vegeta had just found out something that was like having to relive his wife�s death all over again. Then again, besides fist fighting and fucking, Goku didn�t really know how to relate to Vegeta. They didn�t generally get along when they started talking to one another.

�So,� he said.

�Come on,� Vegeta said. Like it was all understood. Then he went up the stairs and Goku followed him, up the stairs, past the door they had busted open before this thing really blew up, past the room that had been Bulma�s, past Trunks� room (where Bra was too) and to one of the guest rooms. Into the room and the door was shut, locking them back inside their little thing, whatever it was.

But Vegeta wasn�t offering any directions now that they were here, and Goku couldn�t manage to get out a thought as to what happened now. Looked at Vegeta and then at his own clothes, watched Vegeta strip off the towel, drape it over the end of the bed and pull the covers down the bed.

Nakedness. He could do that. He shrugged out of the gi and dropped it on the floor, pulled the blue shirt off, crossed the room and climbed into bed with Vegeta, who was laying down now. Put his arm around Vegeta�s waist and pulled him back against him, to share the warmth. The covers were yanked up.

For a moment, it was quiet, slightly uncomfortable, and awkward. Then Vegeta rolled over and looked at him. Still slow-burning in that anger and grief, sighed when he looked at Goku.

�Why the fuck did it have to be you?� was what Vegeta asked him, kissed him before he could answer the question.

Goku�s hand slid down his back, to where the raised scar from the crude tail-removal was, circled around that with his finger and then down lower. Opened his mouth for Vegeta�s tongue and moved his hands as much as he could over familiar skin. Not with urgency, just the knowledge of what he was doing, stroking down the back, past scars that other people had left on Vegeta�s skin, down to the swell of his ass and squeezed them lightly, heard the rumbling purr that produced, pulled Vegeta against him and rolled onto his back so he could feel the thighs part against his waist. One of Vegeta�s hands on the bed next to his head, the other down by his side.

Vegeta pushed away from him, looked down like some important thought had just struck him, and sighed to himself. �There�s no lube in this room.�

�There are other things we can��

�No,� Vegeta said, climbing off him, �I want to fuck you.� He grabbed the towel again, shivered when he wrapped it around his now dry waist and left the room with the implied promise that he would be back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Vegeta: Implied promise, but I didn�t verbally say it thus it is not binding.

Goku: Angst and no lemon! What a great COMBINATION!

Bra: *poopie *

Trunks: *hands poopie baby to his father and runs away screaming *

Vegeta: *hands to Goku *

Goku: *quickly IT�s to Chichi and hands baby to her.*
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Moments In A Life

Chapter 21