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Moonlight	By : Maddiesan Category: Dragon Ball Z > Het - Male/Female Views: 5738 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or its characters. I make no money out of this fiction.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
A/N: Hi guys! Sorry, I went on a mini vacation of wild camping, and I came back a little under the weather, but I'm a lot better now. Updates are resuming!
Moonlight
Chapter 22: Shameful
The morning light blinded him as he opened his eyes slowly. His head was pounding, bile was rising up his throat and he knew all the drinking he had done the night before had been a terrible mistake. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and then, flipped to his side. It was then that he noticed there was another body present in his bed. Slightly startled, he backed away a little. All he had was a vague memory of talking to a girl. Unfortunately, he did not have a single clue about her identity. To top it all off, she was covered by the blanket entirely, which gave him no hints about who she was. Slowly, he tugged at the blankets, revealing the top of her head; blue hair.
And his heart stopped.
Blue hair.
He remembered Bura.
But - oh god no. He would never.
Not Bura- he could not, he would not. She was young, too young. She was Bura.
As his heart began to race in his chest, the girl slowly turned around, her face facing his. And then he began to breathe again. It was not her. Oh god. It was not her. Relief washed over him and he finally felt like he could move again. He thought he had done the worst thing in the world. He thought he had done the unthinkable. But, it turned out that he had simply fucked another random chick. That he could very well live with it. He did not care. He had done that many times in the past, and he was not about to feel shame about it. Apparently someone had been good enough to make him forget about Paris for a brief moment.
Satisfied that he had not done the worst mistake of his life, he slowly got out of bed. He was not really a morning after kind of guy. His mother had raised him to be polite, so he was - and then the girls would take that as a sign that he was interested to pursue something more with them. He was not. It led to confusion and anger and honestly, he was not in the mood for that. Especially since he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and he was not looking into getting back into that any time soon. He had learned that it was a bad idea and he was best to stick with flings.
For the time being.
He picked up his phone from the nightstand and saw he had a text message. He quickly opened it; 'Yea, I think you're drunk. Go home.' It was from Bura. No wonder he thought it might be here. Apparently he texted her through the night.
Man, he really had been drunk to text Bura while he was trying to pick up a chick. He could not even remember the last time he texted her - sober or drunk.
He really needed to get his shit together again.
-M-
It was quiet knock, one he barely even heard. At first, as he was pulled from his sleep, he thought he had imagined it. But, as he blinked into the darkness, he heard it again. It was not Bura. He could not feel her, he could near hear her. It was a ki, one that was bringing a rage inside of him. He crunched up his nose as he threw the blanket away from his body. His feet felt warm against the cold floor while he walked towards the door. As soon as he stepped outside of his bedroom, he could tell who was on the other side; his brother. His fists crisped up by his side and his chest swelled. That fucking bastard. He had no business showing up here.
He swung the door open, his eyes shining red with his anger.
On the other side, his brother looked almost as bad as he had. Clearly his wounds had healed, but he had gotten a little messed up. Goten heard the door squeak under the pressure as his fingers threatened to break the wood and split it. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
He was taking the chance that he would not kick his ass again. Did he think he could walk all over him again? He was not going to stand for that. If he wanted to fight again, so be it. He would not let Bura stop him this time. It was clear that his brother had not learned his lesson. He would be happy to show him his power again.
"I came to talk."
Gohan was not staring at his little brother. Instead, he was avoiding his glance. He was not here by choice. He had gotten an earful from his very upset mother. She had also mentioned disliking Bura, but most of her speech was about him and Goten. She said they were brothers and this could not be the way it went for them. Of course, he had taken a while to be convinced, especially since he did not feel he had to be the one to go to his brother. Goten was the one who decided to go ape shit on him. He should not have to crawl back to him. At this point, he would be fine pretending that he did not have a brother. He did not need someone like him in his life.
But it was not up to him.
His mother would never let him not fix this.
But he was not going to put much effort in it. He was going to make sure they could be civil with each other in front of their mother and that would be it. They would no longer have a relationship and - he would not do anything else. How could this be fixed? He could not excuse his actions against him and he could not excuse his behavior with Bura. All that he had done was wrong and - he could not accept it.
"I don't wanna talk to you."
He could not talk to his brother. If he let him in, all they would do would involve fighting and honestly - he was trying his best to avoid it. They had different views on the matter and it was not about to change. Actually, they had always been quite different but it had never cause such a rift between them. They usually sparred together, had big family meals - and they simply never really discussed the topics that they did not agree on. It was simple and it had always worked for them. Something about the whole Bura situation though had set off something in his brother and he simply could not let this on go. It was not about to change. He knew his brother; he was stubborn.
And Goten was the same way.
Plus, it was not like he could change his mind. Bura was his and she would be his forever.
Sometimes, although it almost scared him, he wondered if perhaps - she had always been his.
"We have to talk," Gohan defended.
"No, we don't."
"Mom-"
"I don't care about, Mom." His mother did not care about him. His mother rejected him and preferred Goten. Goten who had everything while he had nothing. His mother raised him for many years before his father even came back into the picture. He grew up for a while without him while Gohan got to enjoy their father's presence. He even had Piccolo. He had it all. Granted their father was not always father of the year - he had still been there for Gohan. Goten got the scraps. And now his mother had decided that she was not on his side. She had decided not to protect him. Why should he care how she felt about this whole thing? He already made Bura uncomfortable once to spare her feelings.
He was not going to do it again.
"She's done everything for you," Gohan said, rage in his eyes. He met his little brother's gaze for the first time and he was disgusted.
"And she's done twice as much for you. That's why you're here."
There was no lying about it. Goten knew his brother would never come of his own free will. He was mommy's little pet and he was well rewarded for his obedience.
"I'm here because you've lost it."
"I think you've lost it."
"You hit me."
"You hate me for something I didn't do."
"For something you didn't do?" Gohan scoffed. "I think you've done plenty. I actually think you've done too much."
"Why? Because I fucked Bura?"
He winced at the words. He did not like it, he did not want to think about it. Every time he did, he imagined something like that happening to his little girl and it was terrifying. How could Goten not understand how wrong it was? He was certain he would have flipped if an older man had made a pass at Pan. He used to be very protective of her and now? Did that all go away for nothing? Was he really willing to give up everything for a girl? A girl that was nothing more than a child?
"Yes." This was not the little brother he knew. His little brother did not react like this. His little brother could realize it when he had done a mistake. "Can't you see it's wrong?"
"Can't you see I had to?"
"There's nothing that can't be overcome." His nature meant nothing. He could fight it, he could be more human, more normal. He did not have to give into his saiyan side. He chose to do it. He was not a pure blood, he had human in him and he was certain that was strong enough to compensate for the rest.
"You don't know."
"I'm saiyan too."
"But you don't know how it feels." Everything in his body was pulling him towards Bura. And no matter how much he tried to ignore it, it had been for a while now. No - no that was not it. They were friends and - he did not know. He knew nothing. All he knew was that his brother was pissing him the fuck off. "I need her, or it feels like I'm gonna die. If I'm not with her, I - I'm not me."
"You're already not yourself," his brother reprimanded.
"What do you know about who I am?" he accused. "You don't know me. You've been too busy living your perfect life. You don't know me and you don't know my life." Gohan always had everything come to him easily. He had the accepting human wife, the baby, the job - he had it all. He did not know what it was like to scramble for anything. Goten had never been able to find someone to accept him - someone who understood him. Bura did though. No matter all the changes he went through, she stood by him.
It was not always easy and they spent most of their time fighting but she was there for him. Risks be damned.
Nobody else was there for him like she was.
How could a girl he always turned down be there for him, when she gained nothing? Meanwhile, no one in his family could support him?
"Maybe if you had bothered to be there for me, maybe we would have a relationship. But you're too busy judging me to check up on me." He scrunched his nose. "Get out of here before I remind your face what it's like to be hit by my fist." For the sake of the brotherhood they once had, he was giving him a chance to walk away. He had already lost it on him once, and that would be all that he would do.
He stared down into his brother's eyes for a second longer before closing the door in his face.
It did not matter how hard they tried to make themselves look good and guilt-free; his family did not understand him.
Only Bura did.
-M-
He had come to him. Again.
He had seen the desperation in his eyes and all he had done was lead him to the GR. He wanted to tap into that unused power. He wanted to shape him and form him into what he wanted. He could not say that he enjoyed the way he fought with his brother - but he did. The woman would never let him hear the end of it. But, for once, he had reacted the right way - the saiyan way. His brother had challenged him time and time again and he had finally decided to make the right choice. He showed him who was the dominant one and he had won.
At least the boy was not as hopeless as he seemed. Maybe there was something to be done with him compared to his useless father.
"Is that all you got?" Vegeta taunted.
Goten felt the sweat dripping from the side of his head. No, it was not. His body was aching, his muscles were throbbing but he knew there was something else dormant within him. His short discussion with his brother had left him enraged. He had needed an outlet and he figured that Vegeta was the best way to go about getting rid of that excess energy. He had gladly accepted. Of course, he knew it was all about punching his face, but he did not care. It did him some good as well and he had managed to land in a few punches. He was getting better at it and he was more precise than before.
He also needed to talk to Bura. But that would come after he finished sparring with Vegeta.
"Vegeta?"
The voice was faint, coming from the other side of the GR but there was no mistaken who she belonged to; Bulma. Goten saw Vegeta wince and he knew it meant nothing good. Vegeta lowered himself back to the ground, his fist still ready to launch at Goten's face. It hardly mattered if he did not open the door; the woman would walk in regardless.
"VEGETA!" This time her voice was louder as she opened the door of the GR. "YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE," she screeched with her hands on her hips. "I told you I had a gala tonight."
"I don't care about your gala, woman."
"I'm not going alone."
"I'm not going."
Her eyebrows furrowed and she threw a single deadly glare in his direction. "Then enjoy the couch," she threatened as she turned around. The door closed behind her but both men knew it was not the end of it. Bulma Briefs enjoyed losing even less than Vegeta did and she was not about to simply let him get away with it. Within seconds, the gravity slowly faded away and the GR began to turn off. "Oops."
And she had won.
Goten watched Vegeta grumble as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "This isn't over," he warned as he walked past him.
He bumped his shoulder on the way out and Goten remained in the GR. Apparently his own training was done - which left him two things to do; he could either walk away and go home or he could go see the girl upstairs. For a moment, he hesitated but then he decided that he knew better; he could not avoid her. He never could. He turned around, resigning himself, and walked out of the power off GR. Unfortunately for him, the blue haired heiress was not upstairs; she was waiting right in front of the door. She was leaning against the wall, adopting her father's trademark position; a glare and crossed arms.
"You're a liar." She was not saying it angrily. She wanted not throwing a tantrum and ripping his head off. She was simply accusing him. She meant to do it better than this but she could not. While he had been off collecting his feelings and dealing with the fall out with his family - well, she had been plagued with more memories than she cared to have.
"What?"
"You're a fucking liar." She uncrossed her arms and finally detached herself from the wall. She took a step forward, closing the gap between their bodies. Her eyes narrowed and her stance was more aggressive. "I was the one in love right?" Her own words were shaming her but she would pretend they were not. "You're a fucking liar." She saw it. He was not admitting his love for her but she was on his mind more than once. He even thought he had fucked her. For that to be a possibility - he had to at least, somewhere in his subconscious, think that she was attractive. But he put all the blame on her. She defended him, she protected him - she carried so much guilt.
But he was just as guilty.
Her father, her mother - they had both been right. There had been something there long before the full moon. The moon only sped up the process - it gave them a chance.
"Look, B, it wasn't like that." He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the dampness upon his scalp. "I - I just- you were always important to me." He had lived through a good amount of years. He did not remember every single memory that he lived through - and to top it all off, he had never added them up. However, now, the bond was being gracious enough to line them up for him - for them. He could see how it might appear a certain way when it was one after the other. However -
However he had no argument.
He did not want her to know he once thought he might have fucked her.
He did not want her to know that he did notice her a little more after Paris broke his heart.
He did not want her to know anything because he himself did not want to know it.
He used to hang out with her and he used to enjoy it. It used to be more than that. They used to be closer - even when they were not mated. Now? Now they had nothing. They fucked, they argued and they got into fights with their friends and family. Was it really a way for them to be now? It was not. He wanted them to be more. He kept fighting with his brother, he kept fighting with his mother. He kept telling them that they were not supportive and that they did not love him and understand. Except - what were they supposed to understand? All he did was fuck her right? When did they do anything else?
Maybe he was the problem. Maybe he had to do something to rectify the situation. He felt guilty because he kept fucking her. Maybe he could do something else?
"Let's go on a date."
"W-what?"
Of all the things she expected him to say, that was not one of them. She wanted him to admit to feelings he pretended he did not have. He was always pushing her away, acting as if them together was the worst thing in the world. But the memories did not lie. He had pushed her away time after time. And now? Now he was asking her on a date. She wanted to push him away, she wanted to make him chase after her. After all, he had let her chase after him for years. Maybe it was his turn to wait and feel miserable. Except, if he did feel miserable, she would feel miserable as well. And did she want that? Did she want to lose him, did she want to further them from each other?
She was tired of fighting. She was tired of pulling away from something they could not avoid.
This one, just this one she would let him win.
"You better take me somewhere nice." She wrinkled her nose. "And take a shower."
It was the last words she spoke to him before detaching herself from the wall. She walked away from him without a word or a glance and he watched her do it. He felt an uneasiness in his chest as he felt a stress fill him. This was a whole other level. They had hung out before but none of it had been public. The one time it had been sort of public it had been a mistake. After all, a date was complicated. She was young. Granted he looked young too but the problem was, everybody knew her. Everyone watched her every movements, her steps, her dates. Also, because he was a long time family friend, some did recognize him. And they knew how old he was. They had to be careful.
Most of all, he had to keep his hands to himself. He could not touch her, he could not kiss her.
He ran his fingers through his hair. Sometimes it sounded easier than it was.
-M-
Awkward.
She thought it was a stage they had gotten over but apparently she was wrong. Also, Goten's idea of a date was not exactly what she had in mind. A picnic and a movie could be romantic but - he had not made it really romantic. He had chosen a rather secluded location for their picnic - and that was after he had made her take a few precautions to actually get to the location. She understood a bit of his paranoia but he had to calm down. After a meal, one she had no appetite for, they headed to the movies. She initially thought they were going to talk - about the memories or something else. However, not much talking was done, leaving her disappointed.
She could tell he was nervous - but for fuck's sake.
Now she was stuck in a dark room where no one could recognize her and she had to watch a stupid movie she did not want to watch. If this was his idea of woo-ing her, he had it all wrong. How could he know her so little? She did not need a limo and a fancy dinner but… this felt impersonal. And cold. She was tired of them dancing around the issues. He had accepted their fate and so had she. Why were they still lingering in this facade?
Meanwhile Goten felt like smacking himself in the face.
Apparently somewhere along being Paris' lapdog and the whole mess with Bura he had forgotten one thing he used to be good at; dating. They had never dated. They had sex. And - he did not know how to date Bura. To be fair, he never expected to date her. And if, if, if in an impossible universe, it had happened, he knew it would not have gone down like this. He would have had to take her on a million dates before getting anywhere near her prize. Now they had it all backwards. Though, for his defence, Bura was not going easy on him. He agreed this was a little flat but he was going with what he could use. Despite how upset she might be at the moment he did not think she would enjoy them making the front pages.
Although it was bound to happen at some point…
But he would prefer if it happened in a few years. Like when she was above 18 years old.
"B?"
She leaned into him but she did not say anything.
"I'm sorry."
She popped her lips. "A little late." She had allowed him to shut her up when she was trying to bring up a much needed fight. She thought it would pay off but she had been wrong. The only reason she had not stormed off was because she did not want to walk away from the first date. They already had a bunch of crappy memories and horrible firsts - she wanted one decent one. Although, it was sad that this was the winning memory. She did not want her life to be this. She did not want to wait years for this to feel normal. She needed it to be normal now - but maybe it was crazy. Maybe this was not working out the way she had expected.
She thought he was more saiyan now. She thought he would listen to himself more but she was wrong.
He was not fighting for her and he would never be fighting for her. He was just trying to better a bad situation - and the shame was not going away. Maybe it would not be as bad in a few years. But for now, he was making it a living hell for her. She fought him, she fought everyone. He only fought when his instincts became too much to bear. The real Goten did not actually fight for her. She thought he had let go of most of the chains that were pulling him down but this date prove to her that there were a lot of things he was not willing to admit to himself and to her.
The memories did not lie and yet he refused to speak of it.
They would not walk down the street hand in hand. They would not cherish each other in a restaurant - or kiss in a park. Their relationship would be neutral until he decided there was no more shame attached to it.
Goten swallowed hard as he watched the many emotions that flashed through her eyes. There was anger in her voice but she was not allowing it to slip her; she remained in full control. Perhaps that was even scarier. He even wanted her to shout and lash out at him. He would feel more at ease. He had tried - but she was not pleased. What else did she want him to do? He knew it was not the best but he was making an effort. She of all people was supposed to understand how complex and difficult it was. How was she so accepting of their situation? How had she developed feelings for him without ever having any guilt about it? Perhaps because she was not the one who could face the consequences. She would always be the victim. He would be the bag guy.
He already was.
"I'm leaving," she finally said as she rose from her seat.
He tried to stop her but his whisper fell on deaf ears. "Bura." As she made her way through the rows of seat, he knew he had to follow her. It was screaming inside of him. He dropped the popcorn to the ground and dashed after her.
She never even tried to stop. Instead, she made it all the way to the outside of the theatre, pushing the big doors opened. They nearly hit him in the face as they closed but he avoided them.
"Bura," he tried a little harder.
But it did not work.
Instead, he was force to grab her arm to stop her. His fingers laced around her wrist as he tugged her in his direction to bring her to a halt.
"Stop," she hissed.
He did not want to be seen with her. He did not want a scene to be made but he was not helping himself. "I swear, I will shout if you don't let go." It was not hard for people to recognize her. If the blue hair did not, her face did. She was the famous sixteen years old genius. A lot of teenager wanted to get with her and locked down her family's fortune. Of course, her father's rage had kept away a few of the boys, so she was not as harassed as her brother. Her father did not really care about her brother's love life. Lucky for him.
"Bura, we need to talk."
She scoffed; he had some fucking nerve. "Are you kidding me?" she said louder than intended. She yanked her arm away from him and pulled away. "I tried to talk to you. You suggested this crappy date."
"Crappy? It's kinda hard to find something to do when," he paused to look around, "when I can't really be seen with you… in a romantic relationship."
"Ashamed are we?" They were supposed to be over this, they were supposed to have accepted their fate. Why was he throwing away all of their progress? He lied, he avoided the issue…
"I can be arrested."
She threw her head backwards, annoyance boiling in her blood. "Nobody is going to arrest you for touching me." She threw her hands up in the air. "Trust me, nobody is going to arrest you ever. My mother has enough money to buy this whole town twenty million times."
"Money is not always the solution."
"Trust me, if any picture popped up, my mother would take care of it." After all, she had done that already. She knew that money was not a magical solution but her mother's money and her father's rage were enough to pretty much fix any situation. He did not believe in her enough to consider his feelings and his situation. She would not let him go to jail but he was too blinded by his shame to consider any other options. He had to let go of that. "Maybe if you weren't so busy being ashamed of me, you would have talked to me." She was the kid according to him but she was the only one trying to get the truth out in the open.
"B, it ain't like that."
"Then what is it? Why don't you want people to see?"
"B- I already told you."
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Bullshit, I already called you out on your crap. Next lie."
"B, it isn't that simple."
"You beat the crap out of your brother when he disrespected us - and me." She shrugged. "Why is this any different?" Why did certain thing piss him off but he could let other things go? It made no sense.
"Because - it's -"
His brother directly challenged him about this. Bura was going on about it a different way. Plus - nobody actually said anything to him. He simply did not feel quite comfortable to do it. He did not need the added trouble. He was basically out of work at the moment and he was no longer speaking with anyone in his family. What was he supposed to do? Turn his back on the world as well?
"I can't lose everything I have."
"You have me," she answered, containing her emotions. His words hurt. She was always relinquished to the background. He was willing to never speak to his brother again but he was not willing to say out loud what she meant to him.
Why was he so frustrating?
"Bura, it's not the same. I can't - My whole life was shifted upside down."
"Mine too."
"But-" But it was not the same. She did not want the same things as he did. Also, her life would not change like his would. She was prepared for that kind of changes already. He had not been. He had not been secretly hoping for this for years. Alright, maybe she had happened to cross his mind once or twice, but he had never thought it would be a relationship. It was bad thoughts he would have never dwelled upon.
"B, I just - I need time to figure it out."
"You've had time."
"Not enough time."
She sighed. "You won't even talk about the problem. You're ashamed of me. The reason you don't want people to know is because you feel shame. You don't want them to judge you. You don't want them to - you don't want them to think less of you." She shook her head. "But they are strangers. When your brother tried to make you feel shame, you were not fine with it. What's different?"
The difference was that his brother challenged him. His brother appealed to his instincts and forced him into a fight.
"I - I don't know."
She shook her head again, tears stinging at her eyes. "You know what, if I'm not worth it, then you're not worth it." She gave up. "I thought we figured this out. I thought we were past this. I thought you had accepted this. But it's just like before. You can't admit you felt anything for me. You can't own up to your own shit." She popped her lips. "Maybe we need time to figure this out. Because I won't be hidden away. You either take me, the same way you fought for me with your brother. Or you don't get me."
It was childish and it was spoiled of her. But he pushed her to this. He yanked her around, he played with her feelings and she was sick of it.
"You either feel one way or another. Figure it out."
He watched her walk away, his heart heavy.
Why was he not stopping her from walking away?
-M-
- 21
- 22
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Moonlight