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Falling Apart	By : YojiKato Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 937 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. I only own the original characters. And nobody's paying me to write this.

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Heero looked down at Wufei with worry as he opened the passenger side door and the Chinese man didn't move, he just sat there staring at his lap. Heero leaned down. “Wufei?”
Rashid noticed the tone from where he was pulling the bags from the trunk and moved to stand next to Heero. “I think he's in shock, Master Heero. Should I call for assistance?”
Heero wasn't sure what to do. He took Wufei's arm and prompted for him to get out of the car. Wordlessly, Wufei moved as directed, eyes never focusing on anything but a blank space on the ground in front of himself. Heero exchanged glances with the Maguanac. “I'm going to take him upstairs to lie down. If he doesn't come out of it within a reasonable time, we'll call for a doctor.”
Rashid nodded and Heero led Wufei through the estate with grips on his elbows. Quatre and Blake stood as they entered the living room. “What happened?” Quatre asked.
Heero shook his head. “It's just all too much, I think.”
Quatre stood in front of Wufei, trying to catch his eyes. “Wufei?”
No response. Heero swallowed passed the lump in his throat. “I'm going to take him to lie down,” he said in a tight voice as he all but carried his lover up to their bedroom. He laid Wufei on the bed and he immediately curled to his side, pulling his knees to his chest. Heero sat on the edge of the mattress, running his fingers through Wufei's loose hair. Obsidian eyes drifted closed and within minutes, Wufei was asleep.
“Heero.” He looked to the doorway and Quatre motioned for him to come out into the hall. He shut the door quietly behind himself and leaned against it. “What happened?”
“He had a flashback when we got there, I think.” He grimaced. “And found a bottle of whiskey in the bathroom cabinet. I guess he's got them hidden around the apartment. I talked him out of drinking it, but he just...” He raked his hands through his hair. “I don't know what to do. It isn't just the rape, Quatre. He's completely... He's losing it.”
Quatre leaned his back to the wall, worrying his bottom lip between his fingers. “Heero, he may need more help than we can give him,” he said gently.
“A psychiatrist?”
“Possibly more.”
He shook his head. “No, I'm not handing him over to some institution.”
“It wouldn't be forever.” He put a hand on Heero's shoulder. “He probably has post-traumatic stress disorder. If it isn't treated right, it could turn much worse.”
Heero flexed his jaw as he thought. Wufei would feel betrayed if Heero even suggested the idea to him. And Heero didn't want to hand him over to someone else. He took a breath. “Let me do some research. If we can handle this on our own, we're going to.”
Quatre nodded slowly. “I didn't suggest it because that's what I want. I just want for him to get better.”
Heero gave his friend a tight smile. “I know.”
Quatre squeezed his shoulder. “Whatever you need, I'm here.”
“Thank you, Quatre. Actually, there is something. We need someone else to clean out his apartment. He can't do it and I don't want to leave him alone.”
“I'll get on it.”
“Thank you.” He went back into the room, gazed at Wufei's sleeping form for a moment, and booted up his computer, determined to find everything he could on PTSD.
******
Blake looked up from his study of the floor as Quatre returned to the room. “What happened?”
The other blond sat heavily and rubbed his forehead. “Wufei had a flashback.” He looked to Blake. “Well, since neither of us has anything to do, would you like to go with me to Wufei's apartment and finish getting it cleaned out?”
He nodded and stood. “I could use something to do.”
Quatre laid down the seats in the SUV, tossed in some packing boxes and tape, and he and Blake made the drive in silence. Neither had witnessed the scene before and both were more than a little sickened by the state of the apartment.
“I'll take the kitchen,” Blake offered, moving into the only untouched room of the apartment.
Quatre went to the bedroom. He took a breath. “The sheets can be tossed,” he murmured as he cleaned out the desk. He paused with his hand on a journal, chewing his lip. It would be a gross invasion of privacy, but Wufei was shutting down. If they could find some solution to his problems in the journal, wouldn't it be worth it? He flipped it open and quickly scanned, flipping through the pages.
---
April 14 AC 203
He thinks I don't notice. That I haven't seen how he looks at me. I have, and for the life of me I wish he would stop. He doesn't understand. He can't. I don't have anything left. I was stupid for even entertaining the idea. A complete idiot for thinking I could even touch the life they have. They're different from me. They deserve this peace. Damn it, Treize, you were supposed to defeat me. I was supposed to die. I can't live like this. Why can't I just forget? Why didn't I kill that bastard when I had the chance? Maybe if I had I could let it go. Maybe that would have released me from his stranglehold on my life.
But it wouldn't have changed anything. I'd still be left with what he did to me. Gods, if I could just reach in and rip my heart out maybe I could keep going on. If I could just forget. But I can't. And I'm tainting them by just being near them. I just know one day, I'm going to slip, and they're going to see the truth. The thought horrifies me. I'm the weak link. I always knew that. But for some reason they think I'm strong. I must be a better actor than I thought. I can't lose that. If they ever knew... I'd rather die than go on living.
---
Quatre set it down, not wanting to read any more. That added to it, though. They knew the truth and now Wufei couldn't hide it from them anymore. Was he suicidal? He was depressed; there was no way around that. Quatre searched his memory for anything that would lead him to think Wufei would go so far as to kill himself.
He didn't realize how long he'd sat there until he heard a knock on the door frame. “Hey, kitchen's finished. Need help in here?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Um, can you get the computer apart?” He dropped the journal in the box and continued clearing the drawers. “Blake, do you think Wufei's suicidal?”
The other man sighed and shook his head. “I think, at this point, anything is possible.”
Quatre swallowed. “I was afraid you'd say that.”
Blake looked up from untangling cords. “Why? What'd you find?”
“His journal, an entry from four months ago...” He shook his head and scrubbed his hands down his face. “I hope this vacation is what he needs. Because if it doesn't work, I afraid of what we may have to do.”
“Maybe it won't be that bad,” Blake said hopefully.
Quatre shook his head and looked to his friend. “It all comes down to how much one person can take. He's been through a lot, Blake.” His cell rang and he answered quickly after he saw the ID. “Hey, Trowa.”
“Hey, I hate to tell you this, but... Une wants me to go on an assignment tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow night.”
Quatre's brows drew together. “But, Trowa-”
“It's only one night. I'll be back before you go to bed.”
He ground his teeth. “Trowa, we've got an issue here. Wufei is losing it.”
Trowa was silent for a long minute. “It has to do with Wufei.”
Quatre swallowed. “What do you mean?”
“I'll fill you in when I get back, okay? Love you.”
“You, too.” He hung up and stared at his phone for a moment before returning to packing up Wufei's things. Neither said a word as they loaded his belongings into the SUV. A moving crew was coming later to take the furniture to storage until Wufei could say what he wanted done with it.
Blake and Quatre both went to bed early that night. Heero and Wufei stayed cooped up in their room and no one was interested in bothering them. Blake tossed and turned all night, sure he hadn't had more than an hour or so of sleep by the time the sun was rising. He huffed and got out of bed. After a quick shower, he went down to the kitchen and found Quatre in much the same state as he was in.
“Couldn't sleep, either?”
Quatre shook his head. “I never sleep well when Trowa's not there.”
Blake nodded. “Want to come with me to see Duo?”
Quatre glanced at the clock. “I thought he said not to come until ten.”
He shrugged as he poured a cup of coffee. “I know, but I can't wait. I need to know how he is.”
Quatre could easily understand that. He covered his mouth as he yawned and took a long pull of his coffee. “Sure, I'll come with you. Let me get a shower real quick.”
Thirty minutes later found them in a seemingly empty room.
Blake frowned. “He isn't here.”
“What?” Quatre asked, looking around the taller blond. “Maybe they took him to run some more tests. That's probably why he told you to wait till ten.”
They heard a sound in the bathroom and moved to look in the door. Blake's breath caught in his throat. Duo stood before the mirror in a pair of gray sweatpants, running a brush through his long, damp hair. He paused in his brushing as his eyes cut to them. A small smile graced his lips.
“Hey.”
Blake fairly leapt over the bed and swooped Duo into his arms. A rich, full laugh fell from the American's lips as Blake spun him around once and set him down, sparkling violet eyes peered up into deep brown. Blake cupped his hand to Duo's cheek and he tilted his head to kiss the palm.
“How are feeling?”
“About ninety percent. Sally's releasing me today.”
Blake closed his eyes; sure his heart would burst with the sudden joy that erased his fears. He pressed his lips to Duo's and felt those full lips curl up on the sides as the kiss was eagerly returned. Duo pulled away slightly. “Let me get finished getting dressed.”
Blake nodded and sat on the bed as Duo continued to brush through his hair and braid it. He sent a grin to Quatre, but it dimmed as he took in the blond's state. “How's it goin', man? You look a little worse for wear.”
He moved to Duo and put his arms around his friend in a tight hug. Duo's brows drew together as he felt Quatre's shoulders shaking slightly. He tightened his hold. “What is it?”
“I'm just so glad you're okay. Everything else is going to pot.”
Duo frowned and looked to Blake, whose eyes were dropped to the floor. “What happened? Is it Wufei?”
Quatre nodded and released Duo, the blond's face was red, but his eyes were dry. “He's pretty much catatonic. He and Heero went to clean out his apartment and he flipped out.”
Duo released a breath, closing his eyes. “Of course he did, he's not ready to go back into battlefields yet, and that apartment definitely counts as one.”
Quatre raised a shoulder. “We didn't know. He seemed to be doing okay.”
Duo pursed his lips, moving around the room to pack his clothes as he thought. He sat on the bed and rubbed his forehead. He was better, but that didn't mean he was up to full energy. Blake rubbed his shoulder.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” He looked from his lover to Quatre. “Guys, we need to keep a close watch on Wufei for the next few weeks.”
Quatre nodded. “Do you think it's a good idea to take him to Hawaii?”
Duo tapped his finger on his lips, nodding slowly. “Yeah, getting away on a nice, calm vacation could go a long way. The key is to get him to open up, doesn't matter who to. He just needs to talk and get it all out. He needs to be able to accept that certain things are not his fault, that it doesn't devalue who he is, and that, no matter what, none of us will turn our backs on him.”
“You think it'll be that easy?”
He shook his head. “Trust me, it's never easy.”
TBC...
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Falling Apart