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I wish I were you	By : Lisachan Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3190 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai, no profit is made from this :)

Chapter List
- 22
- 23
- 24
23. The biggest mistake

Humming silently to himself, Duo softly knocked the door to Quatre�s room.

�Trowa, please go away. I don�t want to talk
about it!� came the gruff reply from the other side.

�Quatre, it�s me� Duo.�

There was a brisk rustling, as if Quatre suddenly went sitting upright
on his bed. �Duo� Come in, it�s open!�

Duo�s smile was easy enough as he entered the room, though he was
determined to make the little bugger talk. Quatre, who indeed sat upright on
his bed, smiled shyly at him.

�Hey sweetie,� Duo said. �I brought breakfast.� He held up the plate
and went to sit at a comfortable distance from Quatre.

Quatre felt a slight pang of disappointment when Duo sat so far from
him. �Thanks, but I�m not so hungry.�

Duo pursed his lips. It was quite obvious that Quatre had been crying.
His fingers were nervously fumbling with the sheet, and he was looking down at
them, occasionally stealing almost frightened glances at Duo.

Duo frowned, mildly shocked that he could be
so intimidating. �There�s something wrong, isn�t there?� he said softly.

Quatre tried to suppress the shiver. Duo�s voice caressed his ear drums
like down feathers. �Yes, there is. Duo, I�� His lips quivered, and even had he
wanted, he couldn�t stop the tears. �I�ve never felt this horrible in my life,�
he peeped.

�Oh honey�� Duo set the plate aside and hugged his friend close. �Tell
me what�s on your mind.�

Quatre was, to say the least, surprised when Duo pulled him close, but
he was here in his arms now, and he was damned sure to take advantage of it! He
clung to him, smelled him, felt his body and warmth as he sobbed his story.
�It�s Trowa� He told me that he loves me. But I don�t
return his feelings. I did everything to keep him at bay, at least I thought so.
I just never told him that I didn�t love him because I didn�t want to hurt him.
And now I have. I�ve never done that to anyone before, Duo. He�s feeling
miserable, and it�s all because of me. I feel so guilty! I wish I could love
him, but there�s just no chemistry, you know? I don�t feel anything when I look
into his eyes, I don�t start feeling warm, my heart
doesn�t start beating faster. It�s not like with you and Heero, you know?�

�Maybe that feeling still has to grow. Trowa�s
cute enough, isn�t he?� Duo murmured.

�Yeah, but� I don�t see him like someone who would fall in love with
me, or who I could fall in love with. Ever since I�ve known him, we are like
brothers to each other. It would feel weird if we were together in� that way.
But to think that all this time, he�s been lusting after me, it�s� Was he only
kind to me to be close to me?�

�Maybe. Though I�m sure he genuinely cares for you. Quatre�� Duo put a finger
under Quatre�s chin and pushed his head up to make eye
contact. �You�re seventeen years old, the both of you. You�re growing up. So is
Trowa. And� you reach a point where you stop seeing
each other as brothers and wish to be lovers instead. Shit Quatre, I don�t have
to explain that to you, do I? You�re bright enough to figure that out for
yourself. You can be sexual, I saw that during my
lessons.�

Quatre laughed sheepishly and blushed. �Sure� It just feels so
strange.�

�I know, it�s a bit scary. But it will get
better once you�re past that feeling.� Duo winked and gave him a lopsided grin.
�A lot better.�

�Hey,� Quatre said. �That time when we were home alone� You do remember
some bits of it, do you? Like when you said the thing about the vodka.�

�Ah yeah� That was pretty stupid of me to say that, Heero wasn�t happy
about it at all. In fact, we had a fight about it last night, and not only
about my vodka stunt. I� had to sleep on the couch last night, actually,� he
added, embarrassed.

�Oh yeah� I though I heard voices in the hallway. I�m� sorry to hear
that.�

�It�s okay, I guess.�

�Do you� still remember other things than that too?�

�No. After the vodka it�s all pretty much a black hole. Quatre�� Duo
sat up straight suddenly and grasped Quatre�s
shoulders. �We didn�t actually� Did we?�

Quatre smiled for a moment, then shook his
head. �Don�t worry, Duo. You didn�t do anything wrong, Heero has no reason to
be so angry with you. No reason at all.�

�Are you sure?�

�Of course,� Quatre nodded, careful not to nod too quickly.

�Then what was that about me pouring the vodka over you? I... do
remember that.�

�Yes, it�s true that after the drinking game, you went for another
bottle of vodka. You drank part of it, then tried to force feed it to me. But I
refused to drink, while you kept on pouring, and so, yes, you poured it out
over me. That�s how it went. Believe me, you did nothing wrong.�

Duo still looked doubtful for a moment. Eventually the clouded
expression slipped away, and the sunny smile came back. �Okay then.�

�Thank you, Duo. For� this,� Quatre explained as he saw Duo�s confused
frown. �For comforting me. You�ve always been the
nicest one.�

Duo laughed softly and pulled him close again. �Silly,� he chuckled. He
took one of the pastries, took a bite, then held it in
front of Quatre. �Here, have a taste. They�re delicious.�

�Hm, they sure smell delicious,� sniffed
Quatre. He inched closer and took a bite.

Duo watched as Quatre opened his mouth. They never broke eye contact.
He felt a strange twinge in his gut when Quatre�s
teeth sank in the pastry, almost� sensual. Or was that just him? His eyes
dropped to Quatre�s lips, powdery white sugar
sticking to them. Then they lowered further to that smooth, soft throat when he
swallowed. He was still trying to figure out if he entirely disliked what he
felt when suddenly Quatre dropped his hand to Duo�s knee.

�You�re right, they�re very good,� Quatre murmured.

Duo weakly nodded his head. �Uhu�� He wanted
to wipe the sugar off with his thumb.

�I don�t remember if I already thanked you for� all your lessons.� He
boldly wiggled a bit closer. He felt tired and strangely fuzzy. He felt like gluing
himself against a warm, soft body.

�Uh� Me neither.� In fact, he wanted to lick it off with his tongue. The sugar.

�You know, they were very useful, and� fun.�

�Fun?� Duo wasn�t aware of his breathing becoming more
shallow. �Uhm, you mean like that time when I
pretended to fuck you from behind and you got hard?�

Quatre grinned. �Yeah� Or that time when you walked in when I�d just come, and you had to rush off to the bathroom.�

�God yeah,� Duo laughed. �Man, I was hard as a rock then!� As he was getting
now! �I�m sorry I have embarrassed you like that.�

�Nah� It was pretty hot. That someone saw me like that.� His eyes
travelled over Duo�s upper body, his tight and beautiful chest under his
t-shirt. He felt his mouth watering and he swallowed. �You know, I�ve never had
that feeling. Of butterflies in your stomach, and sitting nose to nose with
someone, and wondering whether he�ll kiss you or not.� He was nearly whispering
now. He lifted his head, virtually offering his lips to Duo, and he felt his eyes
falling shut. He held his breath.

And now was the
exact time he would wake up.

But no, wait! He
felt Duo�s lips on his! The warmth and softness were very real. The taste of sugar and candy on his lips, the slick tongue stroking
against his own. He wasn�t dreaming this!

He opened his eyes and saw Duo staring hungrily into his. For once, he wasn�t
dreaming this! He closed his eyes again and let himself go, drinking from Duo�s
lips like a parched man drinking from fresh spring water. His head started
spinning and he shivered, his hands trembling as he clawed clumsily at Duo�s
shirt.

Duo didn�t know what he was doing, especially since he had just given
Quatre that lecture about giving it a go with Trowa. But it felt good, and he wasn�t about to stop now. It was a
physical thing, uncontrollable, unstoppable. He plucked impatiently at the
buttons of Quatre�s shirt while he tried to push him
back on the bed; he was halfway through the row of buttons when Quatre suddenly
pulled back.

�Duo, wait!� he gasped.

Duo looked at him, confused.

�If we�re gonna do this, I want us to take our time with it. Let�s not
rush it.�

Duo nodded. �I�ll go lock the door.�

On his way to the door, he already felt the stab of guilt. Turning the
key, he wondered if it was already too late to stop. �Quatre, I think we�d
better�� He turned, but what he saw when he turned made his breath catch in his
throat, and the rest of his sentence refused to come out.

Quatre took the time to get rid of his pants and boxers. His cock was
hard and it felt hot when he touched it. A drop of pre cum welled at the tip.
Fascinated, Quatre dipped his finger into it and rubbed it open. He had never
actually looked at it, the precum. �Oohh�� he sighed, delighted to see that more pre cum
bubbled up from the little hole. He chuckled.

Suddenly he heard Duo saying something. He jerked his head up. �What
did you say, Duo?�

Duo stammered and staggered closer to the bed, his eyes fixed on the
long, hard, thick, pink organ between Quatre�s legs.
�I� think we�d better make ourselves real comfortable,� he finished with a
roguish grin.

Quatre felt his cheeks going hot when Duo stalked over him. That
expression on his face� He was sure his heart would stop beating in a moment.
�Y� Yes,� he croaked. His legs willingly fell open, and even though Duo was
still wearing his pants, he could feel the heat of his groin against his own
skin. The groan that rose from his throat was one of pure desire. �Duo, you
turn me on so much.� He clumsily plucked at the button of Duo�s jeans. �Take
them off��

Duo did as he was asked, wasting no time at discarding the bothering
piece of clothing � and his t-shirt. Underwear, as usual, he didn�t wear.

Quatre was pleased to see that Duo was equally as hard as him, and he
licked his lips in anticipation. It brought back very� exciting
memories. �You want this, don�t you,� he panted.

�Oh yes,� Duo growled, leaning back over him and crushing their hips
together. Quatre choked back a sob. �Ever since that night we were home alone.
I might not remember much about what happened after the drinking game, but I
damn well remember what happened before. Quatre� You were so fucking hot.� He
kissed him again and raked slender fingers along Quatre�s weeping cock.

Quatre playfully pushed him back and spread his arms and legs, fully
exposing himself to Duo. �Well then. Take whatever you want.�

Growling in a very beastlike manner, Duo tore Quatre�s
shirt away and flung it to the side. He savagely started sucking a nipple.
Quatre mewed with pleasure, hardly believing what he was experiencing. �Ah�
Duo,� he gasped hoarsely, clawing softly at Duo�s arms. He�d never felt such
passion, he never knew such passion existed!

Their cocks were rubbing together, and the friction nearly drove Quatre
crazy. �Duo�� he gargled. Duo looked up, his lips wet and swollen. �I would
like you to do the things you told me about in your sex lessons.�

The corner of Duo�s mouth curled up in a devious grin. His hand snaked
down� �You mean the stuff we did�� and took hold of Quatre�s
cock. �� with the dildo?�

Quatre gasped, arching up a bit. �Yes.�

Duo�s hand slowly started stroking, leisurely. He watched with great
pleasure how Quatre squirmed under his touch. �You�re so impatient, Quatre.�

�I would like to know� what it feels like.� He already did. But Duo
didn�t know that. And he wanted to feel it again.

Duo leaned over Quatre�s body again, his hot
breath ghosting over the skin of Quatre�s neck. �But
you said you wanted to take your time for this, Quatre,� he murmured, and
promptly attacked Quatre�s other nipple with his
mouth, though his hand didn�t let go of Quatre�s
cock. He kept on ravishing Quatre�s nipple until he felt
a hand pushing his head down. Then he moved on to his belly button, tracing his
free hand over maturing abs. He flicked his tongue in and out, sucked the skin
between his teeth, then dug his tongue in the little
hole again. The hand on Quatre�s cock picked up in
pace.

Quatre felt his stomach muscles tighten under all the different
sensations, and he softly thrust his hips up into Duo�s fist. �God Duo�
please�� he whimpered urgently. He was getting hornier with the second, and
anxious for some sort of relief.

Taking pity on the boy, Duo let go of his belly button with a
mischievous snigger. The vigorous stroking of his hand turned to a mere playful
touch and he glanced up at Quatre through hooded eyes. The boy looked
delicious. His eyes were wide and shiny, and his lips trembled with barely
suppressed anticipation. His skin glowed with sweat and need. The musky scent
of Quatre�s cock caressed Duo�s nostrils, and he was
eager to have a taste.

Grinning, he pressed his lips against the hot shaft.

Quatre thought that the tingles would jump right through his skin. He
felt a strange tickling in his belly and a definite ache in his cock. His mouth
hung slightly open, waiting for Duo to start whatever he was planning on doing.
The tension was palpable. It seemed to take forever.

His hands graciously went over his head, and he slowly curled his
fingers around the iron decorations of the headboard, stretching out his body
for Duo. He closed his eyes and sighed.

And then there was Duo�s tongue, wet and warm, licking over the
underside of his cock. He opened his legs more and a long moan rose from his
throat. Then suddenly Duo�s mouth was around the head, and he sucked, hard. His
eyes flew open in shock and his hands jerked on the headboard. �OH!� he cried.

There was a soft exhalation of breath against Quatre�s
cock. Duo snickered in amusement. �So Quatre, what does it feel like?� Duo
asked huskily.

Quatre angrily bucked his hips at the loss. �More� Oh please� More!� he
begged.

Laughing, Duo took Quatre�s cock in his mouth
again and started sucking, hard and fast. Quatre�s
voice quickly rose in both volume and pitch. His mouth opened in a series of
short gasps, and it didn�t take long before Duo�s mouth was filled with warm,
white cum. A few squirts spilled on Quatre�s hipbone
and stomach, and he rubbed them open with his fingers. Then he crawled up
again, gluing himself � in particular his groin � next to Quatre. He gently
rolled his hips against Quatre�s warm body, panting
into Quatre�s neck. �I� I want to fuck you.� He suddenly
thrust his crotch against Quatre�s hip in a burst of
passion. �I want to� Fuck you�� he hissed.

It was soft and incoherent, but Quatre had understood. His heart
jumped, and he gasped. He heard Duo murmuring the words again, his voice thick
with desire. Quatre nodded. �Yes�� he whispered. He felt his anus flexing with
anticipation, but recalling the burning pain, his stomach twisted
uncomfortably. He swallowed hard, and turned his head. �Kiss me again,� Quatre
whispered. Duo did, and he thrust his tongue inside the warm mouth, taking
everything he could. When they broke apart, he whimpered in protest. �I could
kiss you forever. Ever since that time we kissed, the other night� I couldn�t
think of anything else. Your lips feel so perfect.�

�Not only my lips, baby.� Quatre yelped in surprise when Duo grabbed
his hand and led it to his cock. They stroked it together for a while. Duo bit
his lip, smiling blissfully as he rocked his hips up and down in their fists.
�Ah� Quatre� I really need to fuck you.�

Quatre gasped again, and pulled his hand away from Duo�s cock, as if it
had become something dirty. He looked at it as Duo slowly crawled between his
legs. �It� it�s so big,� he said with a shivering voice. The beautiful shaft
he�d been longing to feel had become a fearful instrument of pain.

�We�ll use lubricant,� Duo murmured, pushing Quatre down on the bed.

�What kind?! I don�t have any!� Quatre was surprised to hear the panic in his own voice.
He followed Duo with his eyes as he reached for his pants and fumbled in the
pockets. His smile was triumphant when he held up a small tube.

�I got a sample at the drugstore. Some new kind of
lubricant.� He unscrewed the lid and offered it to Quatre to smell it. �It�s mint, you see? Supposed to feel
special.�

What kind of drug
store gives samples of lubricant? Quatre
thought. He nodded, but couldn�t stop himself from throwing frightened glances
at Duo�s impressive length. �I� don�t think it will fit.� He felt tears
prickling in his eyes.

Duo looked at the boy, and with sudden realisation, contemplated if he
should eat his own balls. It was Quatre�s first time.
Sighing, he gently placed an arm around Quatre�s
shoulders. He was very horny, but taking Quatre by force wouldn�t be very
arousing. �I think this is a bad idea, right?�

�No! I want you to do this!� Quatre exclaimed, kissing Duo again to
stress his point. �I can�t stop now.

�But I can. This is wrong.�

�Duo, why�!� Quatre grabbed Duo�s arm as he wanted to stand up. �You
can�t do this! I have longed for this for such a long time!�

Duo shook his head in confusion. �Quatre don�t get me wrong. I don�t
mean to hurt you. It�s not that I don�t want to either, believe me. Otherwise I
certainly wouldn�t have done what we did up till now. But I shouldn�t be the
one to take your virginity.�

�But I love you!�

Duo�s eyes widened. He felt like someone had slapped him. Hard. �You� what?�

�I love you,� Quatre repeated.

Duo�s head swam and his stomach twisted sickeningly as he realized he
had just made the biggest mistake in his life. He reached his hand to his head
and massaged the skin on his forehead. �You love me?�

�Yes,� Quatre said.

�I� uhm�� Duo slowly dragged his legs over
the edge of the bed, as if on autopilot, and staggered towards the bathroom.
�Gonna get a washcloth.� Seeing that Quatre was about to follow him, he
immediately turned. �You stay here,� he said, pointing a finger at Quatre.

Sighing, Quatre let himself fall back on the bed.

Standing at the washstand, Duo looked in the mirror and cursed himself in several languages. �You�re an idiot, Duo
Maxwell,� he whispered to his reflection in the mirror. He turned the faucet
and threw icy water on his face. �Shit,� he muttered. The washcloth he had
grabbed from a cupboard suffered his frustration as it was soaked, wrung,
soaked and wrung again. �What am I gonna do now?�

He shook his head, slapped himself in the face and shook his head
again. Arming himself with a deep breath, he marched back into the bedroom.

Quatre sat upright on the bed, biting his nails. He had trouble staying
there. He wanted to go after Duo, but that would make him even more pissed. Thoughts
were racing through his head, thoughts he hadn�t wanted to think about while
they�d been together. He had just let it happen, it had all passed in a haze of
passion and love � well, from Quatre�s side at least
- and a whole lot of other things. He didn�t really know where they had to go
from now. He was still desperate to feel Duo inside of him, even if it would
hurt. He was also perfectly aware of the fact that Duo was still together with
Heero. But he wasn�t gonna give up, not yet.

With a harsh sigh, he went lying on his side. It would be even harder
now, seeing them together. Knowing what he missed. He missed Duo already. He
vowed to himself that he would try, no matter what, to win Duo over. He
couldn�t bear having come this far and giving up now. He had seen lust in Duo�s
eyes, desire. Desire for him.

Quatre sat up when Duo entered again. He let Duo clean him up. The
shock of his confession had made Duo�s cock soften again. When he was finished,
he tossed the wash cloth to the side and went sitting next to him.

�Quatre, we have to talk,� he said.

Quatre nodded. �I know.� As much as he tried, he couldn�t keep his
hands off Duo.

Duo tensed when Quatre touched him again. It didn�t feel so pleasant
anymore now. �How long has it been?�

�Since the first time I saw you,� Quatre confessed, lacing his fingers
through Duo�s. �But Heero�� His breath caught. �I guess Heero saw you first.�

Duo stayed silent, staring blankly at their entwined fingers. The silky
texture of Quatre�s skin felt warm against his arm as
Quatre pressed against him. He could feel his warm breath against his cheek.

�Why don�t you leave Heero? All you�ve been doing these last days is
fighting.� There was no reaction. Quatre pressed closer, softly stroking Duo�s
back. �I would never do that. Duo, I would take such good care of you.� He
tried to sound convincing, though in reality, he was on the verge of tears.

Finally Duo slowly shook his head and turned Quatre�s
way. �But Quatre, I... I don�t love you. At least�!� he added quickly when he
saw the flash of hurt in Quatre�s eyes, �at least not
in the same way as I love Heero.�

Quatre�s heart constricted. He felt a wave of despair threatening to wash over
him, he was gonna lose him after all. �That�s not true! You said you wanted
this.�

�At that moment� I�� He let out a strained breath. �I admit I felt
attracted to you. But it was just physical! There were no feelings of love
involved. Not for me, at least.�

�I don�t believe you!�

Did Duo believe himself? �All this time, all these lessons of sex
education.�

�I just wanted to be close to you.� He stroked his thumb over the side
of Duo�s hand and rested his head on Duo�s shoulder, for as long as he didn�t
push him away. �So you had no idea at all?�

�Not at all,� Duo sighed, shaking his head. �In fact, me and Heero, we
thought you had a crush on Heero.�

Quatre looked up sharply. �What?! Why?�

Duo shrugged. �Well, you told me you had a crush on someone, someone I
know very well, but that that person is already seeing someone. And from what I
gathered, it was someone from the five of us. At the time you told me, Zechs and Wufei weren�t a couple
yet, so it couldn�t have been either of them. Which only
leaves Heero. Heero�s seeing me.�

Quatre stared at him in disbelief, his mouth hanging slightly open.
�Duo, you idiot,� he said softly. �It was you. I kept on giving you clues, you�
you thought it was Heero? It was you!�

�Well yeah, I had gathered that much by now,� Duo muttered. �But then
there�s still something I don�t understand. Remember that time when we all sat
together in the lounge room after Heero and I had been chasing each other with
water pistols?�

Quatre nodded.

�Well, at one moment, you were looking at Heero with such an expression
of longing, like you were gonna take him right there on that couch. Why was
that?�

In his mind�s eye, Quatre recalled the situation. He remembered exactly
how he�d felt, the desire that had stirred in his groin. And it certainly
hadn�t been because of Heero. �That expression was because of you.� He reached
up and kissed Duo on the cheek, trying to pour as much of his feelings as
possible in the brief caress of lips. �You were all wet, your� your boxers
clung so tightly to you.� He flushed again. Seemed like all he could do right
now. �I could see everything.� Every gorgeous line of his
cock. �Do you have any idea what that did to me? Heero just happened to
sit right in front of me.�

�I�m� sorry.�

Quatre let his hands roam over Duo�s face, softly,
yet trying to turn his head his way. �I love you so much.� He allowed a tear to slip. �I� guess you won�t
break up with Heero. Not for me at least.�

�I� have to think about that. I mean, I don�t know! Shit Quatre, you�re
overwhelming me with this.�

Quatre bit his lip. �I understand. I just had to let you know, it�s
been too long. Too much.� Duo sat very still next to
him, for once. Letting it all settle in his mind.

�I�� Quatre sighed and raked a hand through his tousled hair. �Shit,
this is a mess, isn�t it?� Duo didn�t react. He didn�t know what he was
thinking about. His expression was confused. �Please don�t wait too long to
decide.�

�At least I�m glad I didn�t take your virginity,� Duo said suddenly.

You already have, Quatre wanted to say. But he didn�t. �I still
want you to.� Quatre�s sudden embrace was fierce, desperate.
�I love your body against mine, I love to touch you,
to hold you. I would love to make love to you.�

Duo gently tried to pry his arms away. �Quatre, please don�t.�

�Don�t go,� Quatre sobbed silently. �We could be so good together.�

�We should�� Duo finally managed to escape and drag himself off the
bed. He started to gather clothes of which he wasn�t really sure who they
belonged to. �Should get dressed,� he mumbled. He selected his own clothes and
placed Quatre�s on his lap.

Quatre ignored the bundle of clothes being dumped in his lap, but just
watched Duo getting dressed. The fine chest disappearing
under the delicate fabric of his shirt, the long legs slipping inside the
pants. He could still remember how his skin had tasted, that first time.
He still felt the sweetness of his chest on his tongue. He found himself
addicted to that taste, and his heart ached at the thought that he might never
taste it again.

The silence fell on Duo like a heavy quilt. There were only Quatre�s eyes on him, and he felt them burning on his skin.
His cock felt a bit sticky in his pants. He would need a shower. Or maybe he
would go have a good soak in the swimming pool.

He pulled on his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed to tie his
shoelaces. He heard Quatre rustling beside him. From the corner of his eye, he
saw him crawling closer, still butt naked. �You should get dressed too,
Quatre.� He tried to keep his tone friendly.

Quatre sighed. �I guess you�re right.�

Straightening, Duo nodded approvingly. There was the shadow of a doubt,
but eventually, he gingerly wrapped an arm around Quatre. �Listen, I hate to
leave you like this. But I have to figure a few things out, you see?�

Quatre nodded. �Of course. Just��

�What?�

�Kiss me again. Just one last time.�

Smiling empathetically, Duo pressed his lips to Quatre�s,
just briefly, but when he wanted to pull away, he felt Quatre�s
hand on the back of his head, keeping him in place. It had started gently, but
it ended bruisingly.

Finally managing to wrench himself free, he stood up and went straight
for the door. Before unlocking, he still turned back. �Quatre, please don�t
tell this to Heero.�

Quatre smiled, but it was quite humourlessly. �Don�t worry. I didn�t
tell Heero about that kiss the other night. I won�t tell him about this
either.� Quatre watched him open the door and walking through it. The soft
click when he pulled it shut almost came as a surprise. He suddenly felt dizzy,
as if he�d drunk too much. He fell sideways on the bed and curled up. He felt a
painful tension in his throat and chest. The tears on his cheeks felt warm and
wet. His face screwed up in disappointment and he felt the sobs wrenched from
his throat. They were disgracefully loud, but he couldn�t stop them.

It was over.

Was it?

Duo sighed deeply when he stepped outside the room, to calm his nerves.
He leaned back against the door, banging his head against the cold wood. It
hurt. He didn�t care. He�d deserved it. He stood there for a while, listening
to the tortured sobs from Quatre, feeling guilty about it. He had really messed
up this time.

Please don�t wait
too long to decide.

What was there to decide? What was there to think about? No
matter who he would choose, he would end up hurting someone either way. There
was no way he could break up with Heero.

Maybe if Heero would find out, he wouldn�t have to anyway.

Feeling guilty about that.

He felt so� obscene. Decadent. Disgusted with
himself, and the smell wasn�t really helping. He still smelt of Quatre, of the
betrayal, he still tasted Quatre�s cum in his mouth.
He needed to wash it all off with more than a washcloth. He wanted to peel off
his skin, it felt so dirty. But he had a feeling that was gonna hurt rather a
lot.

~*~

Heero had discovered that there was a forest behind the house. It was
quite big, with a pond, and ducks and benches. It was well kept. He supposed it
belonged to Quatre�s family too. He had walked around
a bit, sat on the benches. Kicked some trees. Mildly injured both his feet.

He came strolling back into the backyard, not quite as relieved as he
had hoped, and spotted Trowa sitting on a lounge
chair, pretending to do a crossword puzzle. He could tell he was pretending. He
was doing that nervous thing with his foot he only did when he was agitated.
Coughing softly, he plopped down on a chair next to Trowa.
Pulling off his shoes, he wiggled his feet and rubbed the soreness out of them.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Trowa glancing up,
but saying nothing. He sighed and sprawled on his back, letting his head drop
to the side. He couldn�t help but notice how red and puffed up Trowa�s eyes were.

�Have you been crying?� he remarked.

Trowa restlessly tapped his pencil against the puzzle book, sniffing.

�Trowa?�

Pursing his lips, Trowa placed the pencil
between the book, closed it and tossed it next to him
on the grass. �You know, I liked you better when you didn�t talk.�

�Well, some things just need to be said. What happened?�

Trowa snorted. What had happened, indeed? He had let Duo go up to Quatre�s room and hadn�t stopped him. He had half expected
the sounds that came afterwards, but when they came, they had made him run out
of the house in utter distress. �I�m not the one to tell you.�

Heero went sitting up, feeling a bubble of worry in his chest. �Then
who is the one to tell me?�

Trowa looked him in the face to tell him what he already knew. �Duo.� He saw the angry twitch of Heero�s
eye and thought it might be wise to stay here in the backyard for a while
longer. He followed him with his eyes as he abruptly stood up and stormed in
the house.

In spite of that lump of misery in his gut, Duo found himself chuckling
under his breath as he watched � or rather, spyed �
through the glass door of the swimming pool. Wufei
was well and truly being smothered by Zechs, and
although they both looked exhausted, Zechs looked
like he still had enough testosterone in him to give Wufei
another snuggle or two.

He had decided not to take a shower, and go for a long soak in the pool
instead. But stumbling upon the two lovebirds, he thought it might be better to
head for the outside bath.

Shaking his head in amusement, he was mildly shocked to suddenly see
Heero in front of him. His eye was twitching. He knew that had to be a bad
omen.

�He� Heero�� he mumbled. He swallowed when Heero came up close to him,
staying silent, but sniffing carefully. It was impossible to avoid the words
that were sure to come. When Heero said them, his voice was silent, the kind of
silent that made his heart stop, and not in a good way.

�I don�t want you in our bed tonight.�

To be continued�

Next chapter: Trowa and Heero both feel miserable. They find support with
each other. No, not that kind of
support, let�s not make it any more complicated than it already is. ;p

Preview:

It was around two o�clock in the afternoon
when Quatre heard the angry roar of a car outside. He recognized the roar; it
was the sound of a Jaguar. His Jaguar. He ran to the window, just in time to see his
favourite black Jaguar storm off the driveway and out of sight.

Breathless with
anger, he turned around to Wufei and Zechs who were sitting on the sofa. �Who�?!�

Wufei gingerly
looked up from his hot cocoa. �Uhm� I heard Heero
mentioning that he had some business this afternoon.�

Quatre�s mouth
fell open. He was appalled. �I didn�t give him permission to use that car!�

Wufei
rolled his eyes. �Quatre, please� Permission?�

�Do you have any
idea how much that car costs?! You don�t drive it around just like that! It
needs to be handled with care. And the way I saw him screeching off the
driveway just now, is not handling it
with care!�

�Don�t worry,
Quatre,� Zechs said in his soft voice. �Heero knows
that when there�s so much as a scratch on one of your cars, he�ll have to reimburse
you for it, and he doesn�t have the money for that. He�s not that stupid.
Besides, he can safely manoeuvre a Gundam, I�m pretty
sure he knows how to handle a Jaguar.�

Quatre pulled a
chair up to the window and gazed through it, seemingly determined to wait until
Heero came back. �You�d better be right.�
- 22
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