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Surrender	By : YojiKato Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. I only own the original characters. And nobody's paying me to write this.

Chapter List
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I don't remember much of my first few days in the hospital. I'm not sure if that was due to the fever or sedation, and that bothers me. I hate being sedated, but I think I'd rather attribute lack of clarity to an external source than my own body. So I never asked exactly why all I had in my memory of that time was disjointed faces and random people saying things I couldn't compute.
Now, however, with the fever broken, I'm completely clear headed and I'm not sure which is worse. It's... disconcerting when you're surrounded by people in masks and scrubs, especially when they're your friends and lover.
There's been a somewhat steady stream of visitors, never more than two at a time. I'm grateful for the company, but it makes me nervous, too. It's almost like they're all coming in to make sure they get a last chance to see me. I'm beginning to wonder if they know something I don't, but I'm not of the mind to ask. Right now I feel better than I did a few days ago, when I thought for sure I was dying. So, I think I'll stay in my cocoon of make-believe that I'm better until someone shatters it.
******
“It's going to trial in a few weeks.”
“Hm.” Heero stared down at his hand held loosely in Quatre's.
“Zechs says they've got enough evidence there's no way Marks or Harding can talk their way out of it. Both are going to jail for a long time.” He took a breath. “Heero, they added the charge of sexual assault to Marks' long list. They need you to testify.”
“No, tell Une to drop the charge.”
Quatre sighed. “Heero, he molested you. He needs to pay for that.”
He pursed his lips and looked away. “He's going to jail for a long time, Quatre. I don't see any reason to humiliate myself by making that public knowledge.”
Quatre put his fingers under Heero's chin and turned his face to look into his eyes. “It won't be public knowledge.”
“Yes, Quatre, it will. Let it go.”
The blond bit his lip. “Heero, do you need to talk to a counselor or something?”
Heero frowned. “For what?”
“For the... assault.”
Heero shook his head, tightening his grip on Quatre's hand. “No.” He raised up and pulled Quatre's mask down, kissing his lips chastely. “Do you know what helps?” The blond shook his head. “Being with you. Quatre, it sucked. I hated it. But I don't sit and think about what he did. What bothers me more than anything else was my complete lack of control with the whole situation, not what he did. Maybe that would be different if he'd actually managed to finish what he started, but he didn't.” He kissed his lover again before meeting his eyes, pleading silently that he would understand.
“I need some measure of control, Quatre.”
Quatre nodded slowly. “What can I do to help?”
“You're already doing it. Just being here.” It was true, every moment he spent with the blond was like a balm to his soul. Something he could latch onto and hold tight to his heart. As Quatre righted the mask over his face, Heero thought back over the last few coherent days he had and grimaced slightly. “Sorry I ruined the reception.”
Quatre rolled his eyes. “How many times are you going to say that? You didn't ruin the reception. No one is mad at you. Okay?”
Heero brushed a lock of hair from Quatre's eyes. “You're tired.”
He shook his head. “I'm fine. I got about five hours of sleep last night.”
Heero grunted. “Right. I don't know if it's actually possible to sleep well on that couch.”
Quatre glanced to the squeaky, hard couch underneath the window. “I never said I slept well, I just said I slept, which is more than I've done in a while.” He cleared his throat and looked back to Heero. “I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“Being so weak. Being so scared.”
Heero shook his head. “You're not weak, Quatre.” A nurse moved into the room with a cart holding a needle he was well familiar with and he grimaced. “Damn.”
“Sorry, Mr. Yuy, but Dr. Weir wants to go ahead and do the bone marrow test.”
He sighed and rolled to his stomach, instantly seeking and gripping Quatre's hand again. “All right.”
Quatre squeezed his hand gently as the nurse began preparing the needle. Heero curled the pillow under his chest and head, keeping a tight hold on his lover's hand. Quatre's eyes crinkled slightly, proof of his encouraging smile behind the mask.
“I really hate this test.”
“Everyone does,” the nurse said sympathetically, “but it's necessary.”
Heero clenched his teeth and closed his eyes as he felt the sheets pulled away and iodine being spread over his hip. He took several deep breaths and clenched his hand around Quatre's as the needle was pressed through skin and bone. A small noise escaped the back of Heero's throat before he could stop it. He took slow, even measured breaths and fought to ignore the pain, but that proved impossible.
“Quatre.”
“I'm here.”
Heero grit his teeth. “I know.” He managed to release his stranglehold on the blond's hand. “Go somewhere else.”
“No.” Quatre folded his fingers back around Heero's and leaned down to kiss his temple. “I'm staying.”
He forced his eyes open and looked up to Quatre. No more words passed between them as the nurse drew the bone marrow out and finally removed the large needle. Heero pressed his forehead to the pillow in an attempt to stop the tremors that ran through his body.
“You did very well,” the nurse commented.
Heero grunted. “Just get out.”
She patted his shoulder as she pulled the blankets back over him. “No need to be embarrassed. It's a painful procedure.”
“I'm not embarrassed,” he grumbled, voice muffled by the pillow. “I just want to be left alone.”
The nurse left and Heero turned his head back to look at Quatre. He pulled the blond's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “That's it, you know.”
“Huh?”
Heero dropped his eyes to the smooth, pale expanse of the back of Quatre's hand. “The results of that test. They'll either give me more time, or be the end of everything.”
Quatre took a breath and leaned down to drop another kiss to Heero's temple. “They'll say you're doing better.”
He snorted. “That's a long shot.”
“Please, Heero, stop being so pessimistic.”
He took a breath. “I can't help it. I'm just...”
He was cut off as two figures entered the room. Duo and Wufei stood by the bed, the former smiling brightly behind his mask. “How's it going?”
“Was better about fifteen minutes ago,” Heero grumbled.
Chestnut brows drew together. “Sorry.”
Heero looked up to Duo. “I didn't mean that because you were here. They just ran a stupid test that I hate, that's all.”
Duo nodded but it was Wufei that answered. “We know. We met the nurse in the hall.”
Heero rolled to his side and curled his arm under the pillow under his head. “Quatre tells me Marks and Harding are going to trial in a few weeks.”
Duo sat on the edge of the bed. “Yeah. Zechs managed to get it all taken care of, thank God. I sure as hell didn't want to touch it right now.”
Heero looked up to Duo. “Have you been to the office at all?” The braided man nodded. “How much of the case is public knowledge?”
Duo made to answer and paused. “It was a classified case-”
“It's going to trial, they have all the information they need. The charges should be listed.”
They held gazes for a long time before Duo looked away. “Harding is charged with treason, selling weapons of mass destruction, murder of an officer of the law, and an accomplice in abducting and assaulting two officers of the law.” He cleared his throat. “Marks has been charged with conspiracy, treason, selling weapons of mass destruction, accomplice to murder, abducting and assaulting three officers of the law, and... sexual assault.”
Heero pursed his lips and looked to Quatre. “See?”
“That doesn't mean anyone knows it was you. It could be against any number-”
“You carried me out of that damn warehouse in a sheet! They're going to know. A former Gundam pilot is too damn weak to fend off one man.” He clenched his fists on the pillow beneath his head. It was just all too much. Marks. Leukemia. His failing immune system. The complete and utter lack of control. He pressed his face to the pillow, shaking from the force of his anger. “Just get out.”
Quatre touched his shoulder. “Get out, Quatre!”
The blond shot a wide-eyed worried look to Duo and Wufei. The Chinese man swallowed at the uncharacteristic outburst from Heero, while Duo was scrounging his brain to think of something that could help. Quatre bit his lip.
“Heero, I know you're hurting and exhausted and just want to be left alone, but that's the last thing you need.” He placed his hand over Heero's vice-like grip on the pillow. “I'm here. Don't shut me out... I love you.”
“I feel sorry for you, then.”
The blond jerked as if slapped. “How can you say that?”
Blazing sapphire eyes turned up to meet his. “Because you love a pathetic, weak, dying man.”
Quatre lifted Heero's hand to his lips. “What did you tell me at the start of our relationship?”
He sighed wearily. “I don't know.”
He leaned down to whisper. “Then let me remind you. 'Happiness is all that matters.' You said you didn't want to die without love.” His voice caught in his throat. “All right, Heero, I can't promise that test is going to come back the way I want it to, but I refuse to give up hope. You're not dead, you're still alive, and you still have love. So don't take it away from me now.”
Heero clenched his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He turned back to his side and tugged Quatre's hand to his chest. He bowed his head, holding the blond's hand tightly as his shoulders began to shake. Wufei shook his head and turned, leaving the room quickly and quietly, followed by Duo. Quatre barely noticed. It didn't matter. Everyone else had had this chance. He was surprised the Heero was the last one to succumb, but then, he really shouldn't have been. He crawled onto the bed and pulled Heero to his chest, closing his eyes as silent tears dripped to his shirt. Neither said a word for several minutes.
“I'm so tired, Quatre,” Heero whispered in a gravelly voice.
“I know.” He kissed the top of his head.
“I'm afraid to go to sleep,” he continued in that same quiet voice.
Quatre swallowed. “That's understandable, but I promise you this, Heero, you're not dying today.”
He barked a laugh that held anything but mirth. “What makes you say that?”
“Because death just fled the building.”
Heero glanced up to see that Wufei and Duo were gone. “Which one couldn't take it?”
“Wufei, probably.”
He wiped a hand down his face. “I've got to get it together.”
“No, you've got to quit trying to do this on your own. You don't have to be strong for us, Heero. Lean on me for a bit. I won't break.”
Heero raised up to look into his eyes. “I do love you, Quatre.”
“I know. Now get some sleep.”
******
Duo didn't say anything or touch Wufei as they left the hospital. He waited patiently until his lover was ready to say whatever he was thinking. It wasn't until they were in the car that Wufei spoke in a subdued voice.
“I keep wishing we'll wake up and it'll all have been a bad dream.” He glanced briefly to Duo. “It isn't a dream, though.”
Duo dropped his eyes to his lap. “No.”
Wufei's cell rang. “Chang.” He listened for a moment. “No, we just left...” His brows drew together and he nodded as if the person on the other end of the line could see him. His eyes widened and he pulled the car over and threw it in park. “Are they sure?... So what are they waiting for?...” He nodded again, looking to Duo's confused face. “It's better than nothing. Thank you, Relena. Call the hospital room. Yeah.” He hung up and stared at Duo.
The braided man leaned forward. “Uh... hello, I can't read minds, remember? What did she say?”
“They've come up with a round of drugs that might rival J's. Duo, if they can get rid of the cancer, there's a good chance they can boost his immune system back up.”
TBC....
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Surrender