Strong Heart

For Kat



\"We have to Trunks,\" Mirai said, holding the device. \"Now think of Goten.\"

The other stared, contemplating ways to get out of the predicament he\'d found himself in.

\"I can\'t Mirai, not right now.\" He shook his head. \"I..... I just....I can\'t deal with all this ok?\"

He turned, his fingertips to his forehead as he prepared to fly, to escape the valley they had landed in and be free of Mirai. A hard hand landed on his shoulder, steel-like fingers gripping his collar bone.

\"Oh no you don\'t Trunks,\" Mirai\'s hard voice spoke, his face serious. \"You actually think after all this I\'m going to watch you run back to your little fantasy life? You think after all my efforts, I\'m going to let you coware back to your drugs, just to forget everything you\'ve learned?\"

Trunks gazed into his eyes, searching his mind for some sort of excuse; searching for a way to convince Mirai that wasn\'t his intention, even though both knew it was.

\"I have shown you love,\" Mirai said in a slightly softer voice. \"I\'ve shown you it now in three dramatic forms. Loss, obsession and triumph. Now I\'m going to show you what happens when you turn your back on it.\"

They shared a moment of silence, Mirai simply waiting for Trunks to comply with the inevitable. Finally, with a sigh, Trunks\' broke their gaze, eyes lingering on the ground as he nodded.

\"Good.\" Mirai spoke. \"Now... think of Goten. Think of him Trunks. Think of him on that day.\"

And Trunks could only think of one day; the worst day of his life.

The memory exploded around them, soft grass beneath the soles of their shoes and a sunset breaking forth across the sky. Everything was golden kissed, orange and yellow. So much beauty for such an ugly day, Trunks could only think to himself.

His eyes caught sight of Goten, as he had been on that day, standing a safe distance from the Trunks of memory, eyes fixed upon the other\'s. The soft, warm breeze had trickled through his bangs, blowing the black threads over his eyes occasionally. But other than that, neither moved.

Goten just stood there, staring at him, no emotions playing over his facial features. Trunks in the memory, looked harsh and cold, a veritable monster with his arms crossed painfully tight over his chest, eyes glaring at the younger Saiyan.

Mirai winced slightly at the contrast between the two, the soft, pliant features of Goten verses the icy, steely stare of the prince. How could Goten seem so calm, so understanding beneath such scrutiny?

Goten knew though. He’d known for long enough it was coming. Did that help numb the pain? Did that preparation snuff out the burning inside his chest? No. There was understanding in the young Saiyan\'s eyes, a wisdom learned from experience rather than time. There wasn’t a need for words between them. They didn’t need the choked out “it’s over” or the dramatic “we’re through”. The look on Trunk’s face was enough proof of the inevitable.

“I’m going to miss you,” Goten breathed, watching as rays from the sun kissed every strand of the other’s hair. Trunks and Mirai looked at each other, both sets of eyes going directly to the scene.

“No you’re not.” Trunks said in an icy voice. “You’re going to forget me. And I’m going to forget you. That’s the way it’s going to be. As it should.”

Goten only shook his head, covering his face with his hands for a brief second as if exasperated.

“God, why do you make it so hard?” He sighed, staring at the sky. “You think by being invincible you’re making it easier for me. Like your meanness ever had a distancing effect on me Trunks. You could never push me away with it. It only draws people towards you.”

The purple hair danced in the wind, Trunks just shrugging with a grin.

“Don’t I already know that?”

“Yes, Trunks,” The black hair sunk as Goten hung his head slightly. “Your victims, your victories. You ought to adore me. I’m your masterpiece Trunks. I’m you greatest triumph yet. I fell just as hard as everyone.”

He turned to the side, facing towards the distant mountains and watching as the sun faded. He smiled slightly, realizing the metaphoric nature of it all. With each passing moment, the light faded, dying out, snuffed like a candle. A gradual inevitability. Was that why Trunks could never allow himself to love? The inevitable end that sent you staring off through tears at mountains, mourning that the sun has to die away at the end of the day?

“But I loved you more than them,” He smiled sadly. “I will always love you more than they can.”

Trunks visibly tensed, swallowing hard.

“Shut up.”

But it seemed as though Goten hadn’t heard the cruelty of the words, still smiling softly.

“They will forever be falling for a dream and me?” He said, turning towards his former friend. “I’ll forever be a slave to the nightmare. They can see you as whatever you want to show them Trunks. But remember, I fell in love with the man, not the ideal.”

A silence past between them, the words gradually dawning on Trunks as he stood there speechless, watching shadows very slowly creep across the ground. He moved only so slightly, seemingly wanting to grab Goten suddenly; only his damnable pride keeping him there.

“I don’t want to forget Trunks,” Goten whispered, barely audible enough for the other Saiyan to hear. “The good times, the bad times, I want them both, however unequal. I always wondered what it meant to really love someone and I’m realizing it now. I think I know what it means. It’s to not let go, Trunks.”

The ice prince just stood there, his deameanor only slightly changed by rapid blinking, as if trying to keep down heat that built in his eyes.

“It’s to not WANT to let go. That’s what it is.” Goten smiled. “It’s the acknowledgment of how much pain you’re in. It’s the acceptance of tears. And it’s the ability to realize that both are worth every single second you had together. Good or bad times, however uneven, are worth crying over later. You say I should forget like you will, but I refuse to. You made me happy Trunks and I don’t want you to forget that. You’ll inflict more pain on others. You’ll break more hearts. But for one second of each day, maybe, try to think of how much good you’ve done too.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Trunks growled, beating down the infuriating sting in his eyes.

“You poured color into my life Trunks,” The words were chocked. “You made everything more beautiful. You. Not some lie. Not some charming heir to billions. You. Don’t ever forget, it doesn’t take a façade for someone to love you.\"

The current Trunks stood there watching himself, watching as he remembered the feelings he\'d had at the time. The wanting to move but not. The wanting to say something but remaining silent. He swallowed, unable to look at Mirai.

\"Why\'d you do it Trunks?\" the other asked him. \"Why\'d you let him go like that?\"

Trunks tried to right himself, tried to blink down the burning sensation in his own eyes.

“I had my reasons..”

“Bullshit Trunks, BULLSHIT!,\" Mirai suddenly screamed, pushing the other violently. \"You always pretend to be on some higher level, so ABOVE everyone else. The truth is, you’re JUST LIKE them!\" His voice became cold. \"Only, you’re too big of a fucking coward to admit it. You’re not some higher being, you’re just too fucking afraid to let yourself feel so you pretend like you don’t need it.\"

Trunks refused to look in his eyes, refused to retaliate the attack, instead walking towards Goten, frozen, it seemed, in time.

“Yeah, you love,\" Mirai said angrily behind him. \"you get hurt. Love sucks, we all know it. You love then you get your shit torn to pieces than you put it back together and you try again; and again if you have to. But just because you’re too piss in your pants afraid to experience it doesn’t mean that you should just cut yourself off from everything.\"

Trunks felt the other\'s hand on his shoulder, but somehow, couldn\'t register the warmth in it, eyes glued to the dark hair.

“Bodies can be so strong, they can.\" Mirai reassured him, attempting to calm himself. \"But they fade Trunks; eventually, we all fade and our bodies die. Strength of the body can only go so far. But love? That is boundless! That is limitless. And you are wasting your life away because you’re too afraid to feel anything other than detachment. It’s fucking pathetic.\"

Despite the cruelty in Mirai\'s words, Trunks felt only numbness, or perhaps, just a coldness that rose into his body, hardening him. A thickness rose to his throat and he struggled to swallow it down.

“You LET him go when you knew you loved him.\" Mirai whispered behind him as the other walked towards Goten. \"You let him go thinking that you didn’t give a damn about him and you know what’s even more pathetic? You did the same with yourself. You LOVED for the first time in your life. You loved something stronger than you’ve ever loved yourself and you let it go. You broke it before you even gave it the chance.”

It was as if the words suddenly cracked his surface, stinging like salt in a wound. Trunks ran towards Goten, grabbing at an illusion and feeling anger and despair well within him. The beautiful face that had long ago been the only thing that could melt the coldness now sat before him, a long ago reminder of so many irrectifiable mistakes. And that face was sobbing.

“He’s crying...\" he whispered. \"why is he crying? Mirai, he never cried.”

“How could you have seen with his back turned to you and your mind on don’t-give-a-shit mode? Maybe you just didn’t want to see it.”

Eyelids closed over burning eyes, the first tear in so long escaping between quivering lashes, unhindered. Trunks caught it in his palm, staring in disbelief that something so cold as his own heart could have produced it. His lips began to shake and more tears began to gather and fall down his cheeks.

“Oh God…\" He suddenly bawled, startling Mirai. The older version stared at him in astonishment, watching tears fall as if there were no end to them. It was almost as though it wasn\'t even happening, the vision so unbelievable.

“Watch this part Trunks….\" Mirai whispered, not to be deterred. \"This is your favorite part remember?\"

Goten stood there shaking, the memory unable to see the tears that fell from Trunks eyes as the man stood before him.

\"You’re teaching him a lesson now, you’re making him feel.\" Mirai spat coldly. \"Aren’t you proud? Don’t you see? He’s your masterpiece Trunks.”

“I love you,” Goten whispered in a moment that shattered the exterior that Trunks had long ago built. “I’m always going to.”

\"No,\" Trunks sobbed suddenly, trying desperately to wipe at Goten\'s face. \"Don\'t cry. Oh God, please don\'t cry.\"

He crashed to his knees, grabbing at hands that weren\'t there as he screamed in madness.

\"Goten!\" he wailed, voice breaking with the pitch. \"I\'m so sorry. God! I\'m so sorry!\"

He cried out when the memory couldn\'t hear him, couldn\'t see him; taking to the sky and fading into it. Trunks fell foward onto his elbows, banging at the ground with his fist while he sobbed, shoulders shaking violently.

\"I\'m so sorry,\" he cried into the grass beneath his lips. \"God, I am so so sorry.\"

He looked up with pouring, red eyes, seeing himself standing there like a granite statue. Seeing the memory Trunks just standing there and watching the sky as if nothing had just happened. As if he hadn\'t just lost the most important person in his life.

\"Go!\" He screamed at himself uselessly, entire body shaking. \"Go after him God damn it!\"

He jumped to his feet, running aimlessly at the memory that was himself, colliding with nothing and falling once more to the ground. He laid there in defeat, sobbing until his chest burned, eyes beginning to feel as though they were bleeding, leaving trails of crimson down his soaked cheeks. He just cried as though there was nothing else to do, until it felt as though he\'d cried his soul out of his body, his face imbedded in grass that didn\'t exist, in a world he\'d just ruined.

“You can’t change the past.\" Mirai said sadly, leaning down beside the other man. \"You can’t effect what you already did. I only brought you here to learn from it. To remember it in the way that you won’t allow yourself to.\"

It was as though Trunks couldn\'t even hear him, staring off towards the distance that Goten had disappeared into. A soft sob occasionally made its way forth from his body, his eyes red-rimmed as he stared.

\"It\'s not too late Trunks,\" Mirai whispered gently. \"You can still save yourself. You can still go after him. Goten isn\'t dead.\"

Trunks lips had become a dark red, cracked and dry. His eyes looked worn and tired, tear tracks running in lines down his tan cheeks.

\"I remember how I felt that day,\" He breathed so quietly Mirai had to strain to hear him. \"I remember how I felt that day and I remember thinking that I never wanted to feel that way again.\" He swallowed. \"That much pain and regret. That much sadness. But I was a fool,\" He shook his head, biting his lip to hold back a sob. \"because I have felt that way every single day since.\"