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The Truth Behind Demons	By : Resting-Madness Category: Beyblade > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2128 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
Rei snuggled into Kai's chest; his mind was so hazy, he wondered if he was even really awake. If he were coherent enough to understand Kai, if he started talking to him. Closing his, eyes he smiled. This felt good. He hadn't had an honest smile since that night in the woods, when his whole world ended; and he didn't think that was humanly possible - - at least in his mind.
Maybe it was better he didn't tell Kai about his past just yet; he could just lay in this feeling of warmth and comfort for a bit longer... Live in the lie. ...Who was he kidding?
"Kai, I wanna tell you something." He said as clear voiced as he could.
Kai, who was brushing his fingers through the soft strands of hair, tilted his head to nuzzle his face into Rei's chopped-mop. He wondered what had happened to the mass of it? But he figured if Rei wanted him to know, he would have told him.
"Hmm?"
Sitting up on a lean, he looked down at his boyfriend. He can admit that, he and Tyson are over. He and Kai care about each other. "Really... And I want you to know that... when I tell you this... if you want to leave me... you can."
Kai laughed to himself; reaching up moving a bit of the Rei's bangs. "I would never. Rei... if you ever have anything to say to me, you just say it. I won't judge you."
"Even if I told you that I wanna be with you? That I'm sorry that I took so long deciding to love you, even though I have for a long time?"
"Most of all." Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around him. "I want you to be happy because you're free. Free from this secret that's been controlling your life - - we all have them, but your's seems to be killing you, Rei. And I don't want that, because it would kill me to not have you around. Same goes for a lot of people."
Rei knew that, he really does. But this was major, being retarded for all his life - - special attention because of it. How could Kai be with someone who was gonna talk funny, and act weird without even knowing they were doing it? How many good days would he have? How many days would he have to feel normal? Two, ten... Maybe a couple seconds out of a day? It seemed to be a bit of a burden. All the love in the world couldn't put up with that... that's why everyone leaves him.
His brother left, his parents died, his uncle banished him. Who does he have? Tyson may still be mad; Ozuma would follow his lead. He shot Tala a dirty look, so he may be on the ropes with all of them. Then there's Kai. He looked at him. He could talk to him so easily, so why not tell him?
His boyfriend smiled. "You're thinking awfully hard. Ready to tell me what's going on up there?"
"...I'll just jump right in, I guess." Looking him in the eyes, he swallowed hard. "I've been struggling with Schizophrenia since I was seven years old. I was officially diagnosed with it when I hit ten. No one knew what was wrong with me up until then; and I've had a rough childhood because of it." He felt the tears coming on at just the thought of it all as he spoke about the kids in the village; school; Lee leaving him.
"Everyone thought I was doing it for attention's sake, especially when I told them I wanted Lee to walk me to school so I'd feel safe." He laughed quietly. "Can you believe I was so messed up, I honestly started to believe those sick bastards, when they said I was in love with my brother... I would hold his hand like it were just for me; hang out with him like he belonged only to me... But then... I guess he got sick of it because he left me."
Kai didn't know what to say - - if he was supposed to say something at all. He knew Rei just wanted his undivided attention, so that's what he would get. He listened as he explained to him about a man that's been stalking him, or at least that's what he'd thought... However, it turned out that this person was just a mirror image that was bouncing off the building across the street.
"Those jerks in the city had fun with that. Saying: "that poor little mountain boy gets so confused, when he sees all the lights and things. Boo hoo"."
'Assholes.' Thought the Russian.
Rei, with sadness, shook his head. "I gave the villagers a bad name; how could people not know about it when you've got cops bringing you to and from school?" A pout marred his lips as he began to cry. "I hated all that attention... I was just a shy little kid. I never wanted any of that to happen, but it did. When I hit ten my parents took me to therapy; it cost so much money that all they talked about was how they were gonna pay for it. Lee never knew about any of it. He did so much for me with finding out about Crack, that... I didn't wanna give him more to worry about."
Kai could understand that. He would be the same way towards anyone he admired that much; to never be a problem for them, because you love them too much to worry them any further.
"So there I was. Ten years old, and on medication... Lee left when I stopped having nightmares; I stopped seeing that guy." He fidgets for a bit, picking at the blanket. "He wrote me every week, and I did the same. Nothing was right when he left home... No kids came by... and when they did, I thought that they only wanted to make fun of me again."
Overcome with the memories he began to cry. Kai held him, stroking his back; his own tears fell on his moving hands. How could anyone be ok with a childhood like that? It sounded like Hell. The only trouble he's ever had was deciding if he should pick out his own clothes instead of, Ari Mina, his dresser.
Composing himself, he clung to Kai even tighter than he was before.
His could feel the steady drum of Rei's heart racing in his chest. His boyfriend was so worked up about all of this, he was almost tempted to tell him that he didn't have to go on. But it really wasn't good for you to keep things bottled up. Placing a kiss to the top of the Rei's head; he felt him nod to say he was ready to go on.
"So, a little time passed, and things were normal. I felt kind of... drained because of the pills, but mostly they were working. So, good. Right? When my parents felt I was well enough, I went to visit my uncle from time to time so that I could see Lee - - I hated it. Lee had a new life, new friends, and none of it made sense to me." He chuckled weakly. "I kept thinking that, maybe I was just a stupid mountain kid afraid of everything; why bother trying to fit in?"
Kai nods to show he understands.
"Except, Lee was the same. He loved me, looked after me, and tried to introduce me to all his friends. They thought: 'boy you're a pretty little boy!' Even when I didn't know I was gay, I was labeled." His tears began again, he shook his head. "When I came home, he was there. I told my parents, and they said that I must be relapsing or something. That I should take my medication. I did... but it didn't work, he was still there."
Kai wiped the Rei's wet face with his palm to get rid of the tears that were only replaced by more.
"I hate being alone. I'm always so afraid. That's why I never told anyone, because if I did... people would leave me. Everyone leaves me."
"I won't leave you." Kai whispered.
Rei felt the wind knocked out of him; they were such pretty words that he just needed a minute. And he took it in tears. Kai held him tightly through it, patting Rei on the back, he gave him comforting hushes and kisses, until he was ready to speak again.
"Kai... I'm not gonna get any better. I can have sessions; most people with this are outpatients... But I read up on it, and even though a lot of people live comfortable lives with this, a lot of people... they become so freaked out that they harm themselves." There was a huge weight that hung in the air with those words. "Sometimes they harm other people..." his sobs started again. "I just didn't wanna be abandoned, I hate being alone."
It was all starting to make sense to Kai now. Rei told him that the reason he's even with his brother was because his parents died. He never said how they'd died, or...
"Rei... you mean?"
Rei's silent tears became violent sobs almost instantly. It made Kai cry too. No kid should have to...
"Oh, Rei, I'm so sorry."
"Crack talked to me... I ignored him for the most part, but... Sometimes he knew how to push my buttons. I was so confused. I didn't tell my mom and dad because they would just tell me to pop a pill... I think they were only making it worse. They were so weak that I needed a refill within two weeks, but we couldn't afford it."
Kai was shocked at how many pills that must have been. Such a small boy just getting them down so he can ward off an unbalanced brain.
"And uncle Stan's money wasn't an option, because we didn't take hand outs. Kons work for what they have..."
Rei was silent a moment, when he spoke his voice was dead and flat.
"The window in my room was open... I didn't open it. But when I looked down... there he was, laughing; talking and telling me that he heard my parents say that they were gonna send me to a home to be looked after." Rei's gaze was far away, like he'd just fallen into the memory of his young-self on that day.
"I'd be away from everyone I know and forced to be around people who were gonna stare at me, and pity me." He sniffled. "He told me I could stop them... I didn't wanna listen, so I screamed. I ran out of the house and into the woods and, I guess I made so much noise that they woke up and followed me." He sobbed.
Kai felt his heart rate pick up, he tried to calm it, to keep Rei at ease in case he could feel it through their embrace.
"I heard him calling my name - - it was always mental, his voice, never physical to my ears. But this time there were two other voices" he wiped his nose and sniffles. "I was so... bugged out of my mind that I didn't put one and two together, I just... really wanted to get rid of Crack so, I lured him to the cliffs."
Kai had the image in his head. A scared boy running through the woods; his parents, terrified for him because of his illness. And he was sure they got the crash course of what it was all about, but it didn't mean their death was Rei's fault. He had to know that.
"Rei. you didn't kill your parents." Kai was shocked at how thick and dry his voice had become from his tears. Even more surprised when Rei shook his head, stubborn to believe. "Rei, it was dark; you didn't know what you were doing - - they couldn't see either."
"Only the kids knew those parts of the woods... I knew them so well that I could run it in my sleep - - I thought I was asleep... then I hid beside a tree and waited for him to show up. He brought friends, they were all gonna hurt me..." The tears started again - - if they'd ever stopped. "I just didn't wanna be alone." He sobs.
"When they got to the cliff and looked down.. I didn't see Crack, but I knew he would come out, and I had to stop them so I wouldn't be out numbered. Rushing up to them they turned, and I saw their daces,"
Kai blinked at that.
"...Faces..." He corrects himself. "My mother and father looked at me - - so scared - - I couldn't stop myself from doing it until it was too late."
Kai's silent tears fell harder now. Rei didn't want to be with people who knew about his problem, who, in his opinion planned to send him away. He shoved his parents off the cliff, and he was reliving that pain every day.
"Crack jumped me, pinned me down. I screamed when he spoke to me." His eyes were wide as if he could see it all. "I could hear him... Crumble, crumble, crack, crack. He said this over and over until he screamed it in my face. I heard the cliffs falling, my parents cries... the sickening cracking sound when they hit the bottom... His face, looking down at me, so real I could almost touch him..." He shook his head as if to tell the memory not to touch him.
"I have never seen him that clearly before theb. He wasn't just a man, he was broken... the blood, the dirt and rocks." Rei shook his head to remove the thoughts. "He's everywhere to me. He's been reminding me of what I did. His face... his face is their faces, together. The pain of the next day... I don't even know how I ended up in my bedroom, but my neighbor came in with the cops... They told me to look at them, they forced me - - said I had to identify them - - as if I didn't know!"
Kai laid them down on the bed, his arms still around the distressed Kon; they cried together. Rei repeating, that he killed them, his words breaking every now and then, when he said that he was sorry... It was "dorry", "garry", "barry".
Kai wouldn't stand for this any longer. What happened wasn't Rei's fault! It was the medication! They all have side effects, and if the things were getting weak they weren't working. The poor boy... The poor teen trapped as a boy.
"Rei... I want you to listen to me. What happened to your parents was not your fault, you may think so, but it wasn't. You were a victim in that incident, just as much as they were - - none of you were ready to take on such a heavy challenge, no matter how stronge your family is... this is something more."
Rei seemed to be listening, his breathing was shallow but heavy coming out every now and then in hyperventilating sobs.
"You were a kid. You were frightened of being alone. And you felt your entire world crum..." deciding that was a bad choice of wording he changed it. "Falling down all around you." He looked at him. "My instincts would have told me to run, as well... I've never been alone in my life, so I can't imagine what it was like for you. But I know that, thinking about it now, I would have truly lost my mind."
"You would?"
"Not having Tala or Bryan, or the others would have been horrible in my past; and now the thought of not having you scares me in the same way. I need every person I have now - - it's a normal reaction to a tense situation..." His voice quieted.
"Some people consider themselves to be lone wolves... but deep down, they want that one person to latch onto.. to let them know that they matter. And, Rei," he moved him up so they could look at each other. "You matter. No one will leave you, not ever. I don't know why Lee moved in with your uncle, or why your parents had to have a hard time of taking care of you - - but think about it! Think of how hard they tried in doing it!"
Kai was right. They had tried hard. They only kept his condition secret because they knew how shy he was, and uncomfortable with people making fun of him - - if they would have made fun. His parents love him, and their voices, those were just hauntings of his messed up brain. Lee told him that he came to Japan for schooling, but in the end he wanted to be back home for him. He has people who love him, that aren't in his family, too!
"I'm so stupid." He sobbed.
"You're normal." He hugged Rei back to his chest. "You're just - - normal."
Rei wept until he had no tears to give. Everything felt so clear, so silent and still. Crack had vanished, he didn't even feel the image running around in his head. He could feel the door to the cage he'd been in opening. It wasn't his fault; he didn't get this disease because of anything more than an accident.
Any problems he caused because of it, were just that, the illness. He should have realized that long ago. But it was hard when you're alone in the darkness. Yet... there was something keeping him back from being truly free.
"I have to tell Lee. He has a right to know."
Kai nods.
"I just hope he doesn't hate me for it... He was the golden child, they loved him so much."
"He thinks you're the golden child. And he loves you."
Rei nods to that; a yawn expelled from his mouth. "Kai... Aren't you scared?"
"Of what?"
"My loneliness... What if I panic, and think you're gonna leave me. What if I hurt you?"
"So hurt me, hurt everyone. We can take it."
Sighing, Rei closed his eyes. "Don't joke adoubt it."
"I'm not. We can take care of you. We can help you through this, and you'll be one of those people who can live with it - - like you said."
"And you won't be embarrassed to be with someone who talks funny, honey, bunny."
"Are you kidding? That could become the next thing, cling."
Rei laughed to that. "You're so stupid... But... I don't know, I love you."
"I love you, too." He pets his hair. Smiling, he tried lightening the mood. "Rei, what happened to your hair?"
"Uuuhhh, my uncle kind of went barbershop on me, because he found out I was gay." He blushed. "Do you like it?"
Looking it over, he nods his approval. "Yeah. It suits you."
They're silent a moment.
Kai thought Rei had fallen asleep, but he could feel his index finger tracing his belly button. "I used to cry, at night, thinking that if people found out about my illness they would treat me like everyone treats the voices in my head - invisible. But, I see now that I was the one doing that to myself." He sighed. "I never like it when people tell others who to hate; but in the end... it's like I had another me telling me that I should keep people at arms length - - have them leave me before they find out, and go on their own... Crack wasn't making it any easier."
"Is he here now?" He looked around the small room.
"No. It feels like he's really gone now. Maybe now that the truth is coming out, and he has nothing to hold over my head, he split."
Kai nods.
Snuggling into him, he asked. "Will they still love me, Kai? Lee, and Tyson, and Tala, and the others."
"I think they will. Just trust us."
Nodding, he felt lighter than air. So light, but so heavy with relief that he just fell asleep. Kai followed shortly after.
That night, Rei had one last dream.
He told everyone about his secret, his lies, and his illness, and they hugged him. One by one; smiling, telling him that they loved him. He even saw Max there! It would be nice to get to know the kind blond better. From what little he does know, he knows that he really is a good guy. Everything was going so well until a dark cloud appeared; every one looked up at the dark mass. And with it came Crack. He was huge! Single eye ablaze with hatred, broken teeth bared, and he grabbed Rei by the neck! Holding him over the cliff, he screamed at him.
"CRAAAACK!"
The image broke and Rei sat up, breathing heavily, frightened. Looking down, he sees Kai, still beside him, sleeping. Turning his head, he sees the blinds are open letting in a large amount of sunlight.
Smiling he nodded. Today will be the end. The day he ends the nightmares, and frees himself.
...
Lee knelt down by the headstone, his fingers touch the cool stone of his mother's resting place. Then came his father's. Tears in his eyes, he then held his hand to his brother's. He'd spent three days in the hospital with him, before they pronounced Rei dead. Kai had brought him in when he began to shake violently in his sleep during a seizure.
His brother was taken away from him too soon! He was supposed to go first, but no.. Not Rei. Never Rei. The doctors told him that his brother had died of a blood disease brought on by the change of anti-depressents. Something to do with the iron.
Had he come in sooner, they could have caught it. But no one knew he was suffering inside...
Kai walked over to Lee, kneeling down with his hand on the older male's shoulder for comfort. It was all he could give, he didn't know what else there was. Everyone had come to the funeral in China, on the mountain... It's where his brother would want to be the most. With his parents... Resting... Tyson, Ozuma, Brooklyn, Zeo, Kane, Kenny, Mariam, Max, Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian, Brooklyn... Anyone that Rei had touched, showed up to wish him a good bye.
Lee had walked off, wanting to be alone with his pain. Kai didn't blame him, he was about to let the flood gates open as well.
"You must be Kai." Said Tyson, sitting down beside him.
Kai turned his vision to him, then back at his love's headstone. "You must be Tyson." He replied.
"I hate this... Why Rei? He never... He never got to know just how sorry I was for hurting him." Tyson lowered his head. "I hurt him so much... I never meant to."
"He knew that. That night... he told me how happy he was for you and Max." Kai looked at him. "How he never meant to make you feel bad, but it happened."
"Rei said that?" He looked away from him. "He was always positive even when things were bad. He seemed to wanna look on the bright side... I'm sucha jerk."
Kai agreed with that, but he didn't say it. Now was not the time to. Turning, he instead wrapped the near-stranger in a hug. Shocked, Tyson hugged back, tears in his eyes. "Rei would have wanted this... you and me... to be friends."
"Yeah, he would. I'm sorry for hating you - - y'know, with out really knowing you first."
"Forget it." He let him go. "Let's just make sure that when he looks down on us, he can smile."
Brooklyn watched them from behind a tree. His eyes sad, but he has a smile on his face. Turning his head, he looked at the younger Kon and smiled a bit sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Rei... I never meant for this to happen, I just didn't want to scare you. The reason I saw only your past, is because you didn't have a future."
"Never mind that." Rei says quietly. "I get to see everyone - - all the time now; and my parents... I'm happy, Brooklyn. Really happy. Tell everyone not to cry for me, because I'm not alone anymore." He joined his parent's side, smiling at them all he then vanished...
The sun smiled down on that day. In hopes to bring high spirits. But none as bright or as happy than Rei's.
THE END
...
Commentary: I definitely know it, and still use it. A lot of peeps in my circle do ahaha. Even though one of them just says it from our use of saying. Didn't have a clue that one, although she has seen the movie, she's just got forgetful poo brains.
Meanwhile, and this is to everyone reading... Have you seen Princess Jellyfish that anime is everything. Check it out!
Thanks for reading, and reviewing.
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The Truth Behind Demons