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Unsettling Affairs	By : xkesshoux Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1906 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
Each
individual chapter will have a different rating, different pairings,
different spoilers, and a different setting and timeline. Multiple
people were involved in writing this fic, I do not claim to have
written anything other than my own characters. I do however claim to
have come up with the plot, story idea, and organizing it all. The
others who write characters in this fic are well aware that I am
posting it, and contribute willingly. This fic is an ongoing project
with an unknown number of parts, with alternate storyline as of the
fifth laboratory incident. Enjoy!

Strip
Blackjack, or Strip Tease?

Rating:
PG-13/R (Language, implications...uh...it's strip poker, you do
the math!)
Pairings: Havoc, Roy, and Ed. Playing strip
poker. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!
Disclaimer: I don't own
FMA.
Spoilers: Oh hell I don't know anymore!
Setting:
Train. Whee.
Timeline: Train ride from Geriko to Central.

Roy
shifted restlessly again, alternating between staring out the window
and staring at his two prone lovers strewn about the train
compartment in a miraculous not-mess.

What time
was it now? Oh, right... The dark-haired man readied a shoe. They'd
been sleeping for twelve hours straight now...

Havoc
curled tighter in the corner, dreaming happily about chasing
fast-moving fuzzy things across a really, really dull landscape.

"...Oh,
hell..." Roy dropped the shoe in favor of shoving the both of
them off the benches and onto the floor with one good push from his
foot.

Havoc
latched onto Roy's leg with one hand, dragging him down too.
"Asshole." Looking more like a bedraggled feline than ever,
the tallest man crawled back up onto the bench.

Ed did a
superb job of ignoring the fact that he'd been relocated, while Roy
yelped slightly upon being dragged down as well. "You've been
sleeping for the past twelve hours, Jean, you have to get up
sometime!" Roy said with a huff, crawling back up beside Havoc.

"Haven't
you realized yet that cats sleep a lot? Now, use your superb and
highly touted, praised, valued, etc. intellect and tell me what that
means." Yes, Havoc got very, very grumpy when woken from a
well-deserved nap.

"Haven't
you realized yet that I don't give a damn if cats sleep a lot because
you're still human to me?" Roy watched as Ed finally started to
realize where he was.

Havoc
just stuck a tongue out. "I do share some physiological
irregularities with a cat," he pointed out.

Roy
dragged Fullmetal up onto the bench as well, rousing him from muddled
sleep. "Doesn't mean I'm excusing your being a lazy bum."
"Screw
you, old man." Havoc curled back up.

"Oh,
for..." Roy elbowed the sandy-blonde. "You're no younger
than I am and you know it!"

Havoc
held up two fingers. "Two years and three days."

Mustang
narrowed his eyes. Or perhaps he squinted. "Not enough time to
count as me being old."

Ed huffed
and grumbled, about ready to boot the both of them out of the car.
"Sheddap already will ya!"

"If
I'm awake, you're awake," Havoc said snippily. He dragged his
jacket up over his head. "Following that logic, go back to
sleep."

Roy shook
his head and pinched the two blondes on the arm. "You've slept
enough today! There are things that need to be discussed!"

Havoc
switched himself around with surprising swiftness, burying his teeth
in Roy's sleeve. "Shut up, old man!" he growled around
cloth.

The
smaller man jerked his arm back on reflex alone, "This is
serious business and you know it, or have you forgotten where we're
going and what we have to do?"

"I'm
trying to, dammit! I don't particularly want to think about something
like that when I'm trying to relax." Roy got treated to a
blue-green glare. "Unlike someone here..."

"There's
not time for relaxation right now..." Roy sighed, letting his
head droop.

"...You
two arguing is giving me a headache...lighten up, Roy, seriously..."
The smaller blonde dangled a pack of cards in front of the brunette's
face. "Up for a game or two?" The decidedly wicked grin and
the look in Ed's eyes probably didn't do much for credibility.

"Listen
to the squirt," Havoc saud comfortably, scooching closer to Roy
and barely purring. "And you could do with a good something or
other to unwind."

Mustang
immediately bristled and tensed. "...I don't think I like where
this is going you two...there's still the issue of--" he'd
began, only to be cut off by Edward's lips. Just to silence him,
nothing more...yet... "One game..."

"Only
one?" Havoc was flat-out purring at this point, fingers stroking
the tear in Roy's sleeve. "Come on..."

Roy
shivered slightly, barely detectable. "...Maybe two..."

Ed
brushed a bit of dark hair out of the man's face. "What say we
just play..."

Havoc
twigged instantly and his eyes began to sparkle mischeviously. "Oh,
what are we going to be playing this time," he purred sweetly.

Roy tried
to sink into the plush seat, just to get away from the distractions.
How would they ever get anything done like this!

"I
was thinking maybe...oh...blackjack..." The grin and the nearly
purred tone in Ed's voice screamed ulterior motive.

"Fun
game, that..." Havoc murmured. "But..."

Roy
didn't like where this was going...at...all..."But what..."

"Oh,
nothing..."

"But
what, dammit!"

A
sickeningly sweet smile. "Nothing!"

"Nothing
my ass!"

Havoc
tugged briefly at the waistband of Roy's pants. "Such a nice
one, too," he purred.

Roy
slapped Havoc's hand, trying to look miffed. "Quit avoiding the
question!"

Havoc
nodded over at the manically-grinning Ed. "Ask him."

"Strip
blackjack," the boy answered simply, already done dealing the
cards.

Roy paled
slightly. More because the blood was just leaving his face and going
elsewhere...

Havoc's
grin was probably illegal.

With a
clap, the blonde alchemist had transmuted the booth into a
three-cornered room with a small table and the deck of cards in the
center, one person at each corner of the room. "I'll stay,
either of you need a hit?"

"Don't
you think we should explain the rules to the poor man, first? It
looks like he's going to pass out," Havoc said, indecently
cheerful.

Roy
growled and looked at the cards. "I know how the fuck to play
blackjack, dammit!"

"I
meant more like... how to play the fun part. The person with the
lowest count takes something off. Unless of course, someone goes over
twenty one, and in that case, highest loses clothing."

Ed
frowned. "So we're not playing the version where the winner
chooses which article the losers take off?"

"Never
liked that part."

Roy
really wished he could just meld with the booth about now.

Ed
shrugged. "Well, it's explained, let's get going!"

"Of
course..." Havoc nibbled a nail distractedly.

"Hit..."
Roy mumbled absently, mind still half elsewhere.

Ed
obliged, handing the man another card with a sly grin. So much for a
poker face, Fullmetal...Roy thought.

Havoc
sighed. "Hit."

The
younger blonde dealt another, followed by yet another when Roy
chorused 'Hit me again.' He could have dealt something more sinister,
but that could wait...

Havoc
held up a hand. "I'm set."

Roy
flipped over the card and groaned. "Do we have to do this?"

"Of
course! You agreed to it, after all."

"We
all set?" Ed flipped his cards. "Blackjack...looks like I'm
safe!" He couldn't help but grin as Roy's cards were turned.
"Fuck, Roy, you're supposed to tell me if you're already over
twenty one, not take another hit!"

Havoc
snickered, flipping his cards to show twenty. "Poor Roy."

Ed
gathered the cards up and shuffled a bit. "And no, insignia
buttons don't each count as a piece of clothing..."

Roy,
having been in the middle of trying to disentangle what he had,
growled slightly, settling on throwing the jacket at Ed as revenge.

"Well,
well. Did you expect one of us to lose first round?" Havoc
grinned smugly. "You're dealing with the best gambler in your
staff and his protege."

"Shut
up and deal...and if I find out you're cheating, Ed..." Roy let
the threat hang as the boy dealt the next round.

"Which
is entirely counter-productive to the entire concept of cheating,"
Havoc commented, glancing at his cards.

"Stay..."
Roy muttered in response, watching the younger blonde take another
card and do a good job of ignoring the comments about cheating.

"Stay."

"Show
'em!" Ed displayed his cards, a total of twenty, and leaned
back.

Roy
shrugged, flipping his to show twenty as well. Both of them looked to
Havoc. He grinned sheepishly. "Nineteen."

Before
Roy could even manage a word, Ed had snatched all the cards and
redealt, waiting.

Havoc
neatly hug his jacket on an available peg and picked up his cards.
"M'm. Hit."

Ed
followed suit, and Roy took another as well. For all the years the
Colonel had to perfect his poker face, this wasn't exactly the
situation that had him using it, and it was obvious. "Go over
again?" Ed purred.

"Respectfully,
sir, you suck at this."

"Shut
up, Lieutenant..." Havoc earned a boot in the shoulder.

And he
returned said boot, smacking the man square in the chest.

Ed
couldn't quite tell if the sound Roy made was closer to a squeak or a
wheeze. "Hit or stay, people, let's get going here!"

"A
bit eager, aren't you? Stay."

"Stay..."
Roy coughed slightly, sock-clad toes idly working the clasps on Ed's
boots as the boy took another card. "Twenty one!" That
earned a kick. "You're cheating, Elric.."

"Did
you really expect anything less?" Havoc demanded, sliding his
cards back. "Think Roy. Think really, really hard."

"I
thought he might have grown up at least that much!" Roy eyed the
blonde rubbing his shin and glaring. "By default, Ed, you lose
this round...and I deal next time..." He gathered the cards
before Fullmetal could strike back.

The
taller blonde sighed. This was going to turn into an all-out brawl
soon...

With a
growl, Ed threw down his coat, scattering a handful of face cards and
aces in the process. "Hrmph!"

Sighing,
Havoc let his head drop down onto the table so very, very gently.

"Now
that we can assume Fullmetal will have to play fair...let's resume,
shall we?" It seemed that discrediting Ed had gotten Roy back
into his 'cocky-superior-self-sure-bastard' mood. Cards were dealt
and Ed took a hit.

Havoc,
still facedown, dragged his under so he could see. "What the
hell. Stay."

"Blackjack,"
Roy said casually, "now which of you two has the lower?"

Havoc put
his face-up on the table with a loud slap.

Ed
grumbled. "Eighteen.."

Still not
sitting up properly, Havoc toed his boots off. "Deal again."

Roy did
so, taking a second card and not complaining when Ed took three, one
right after the other.

"Mmph."
Havoc's hand groped unsuccessfully across the tabletop. "Someone
give me a card, will you?"

Roy
flicked one his way. "Maybe you could reach them if you sat up
right..."

Havoc
flipped him a rude gesture before grabbing the card and retreating.
"M'm."

Ed was
close to ripping the cards to shreds. Roy took note of it. "What's
the matter, Edward? Didn't plan on losing?"

Havoc
started counting, curious as to how long it would take for blood to
be shed.

Trying to
act the man, Ed simply shook Roy's toes off his boots and undid them
himself.

Havoc sat
up, blue eyes slightly sleepy. "I'm assuming the kid made it up
over twenty-two, then."

Roy
checked the cards thrown at his face and nodded, wondering just how
Ed had managed to pull that off. Shrugging, he shuffled and dealt
again.

Havoc
yawned and stretched. Picking up his cards, a mischevious grin split
his face.

Roy
glanced at that look. "I think it's safe to assume that our
feline friend has blackjack..." Roy took another card and set
the three down. "Nineteen..."

Ed
shrugged, laying out a pair of tens. "Twenty."

"Seven."

"You
did that on purpose..." Roy eyed Havoc.

"Why
would I want to lose on purpose?" the man said innocently.
"Seems kind of silly to me..." He yanked his shirt up over
his head.

Ed's grin
slowly returned. Now it was shaping up to be a real game..."Quit
oogling and deal, Mustang!"

"Pervert,"
Havoc muttered.

"I
was not oogling, Fullmetal!" Roy just dealt the next round.
Although he did admit that the game itself was starting to get in the
way...

"Sure
felt like it to me," Havoc quipped, glancing at his cards.
Finally!

"I'll
stay..." Roy commented, followed shortly by Ed. "Well?"

"Stay."

"Seventeen,"
Roy flipped his cards, and Ed just looked at Havoc.

"Blackjack."

"Nineteen,"
Ed tossed his cards to the middle of the table and waited again,
watching idly as Roy took his goddamn time unbuttoning his shirt.

Havoc
just used to time to take a quick catnap.

Catnap
noticed, Roy deposited the shirt on Havoc's head. "We're already
staying, get with the program, Jean..."

Highly
unappreciative, Havoc returned the shirt with an added fist inside,
connecting with a very satisfying thump to Roy's chest. "M'm.
Stay."

"Ouf..!
You're abusive today you know that!" And so it went on..

Roy
couldn't quite remember how far they got before the cards just seemed
to disappear and the meaning of 'win' and 'lose' became completely
different again, but he knew he'd managed to keep his pants on up
until that point..

That is,
until Ed lost for the last time and transmuted 'strip blackjack' into
just plain 'strip tease'...

Please
review, constructive criticism and questions appreciated, flames will
be deflected back at you by Roy. n.n;
- 26
- 27
- 28
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Unsettling Affairs