Housework

Yay, all done the chapter! Took some major rewriting but I finished it. Thank you for the encouragement, I know they're sad, but it's almost over, promise! This one is short, but oh well. I don't feel gory details are neccessary to get the full effect. Also, for anyone interested, there is a sideshot that takes place a few months before Roy leaves called 'Karen'.

Roy

“Even the train was hell, five days with nothing, no word, no orders, just sitting, waiting to be taken to die. We played a lot of cards, chatting about what we would do when we got back. Fuery was taking Havoc to a movie, one of the books he was reading had just been released. Maes just wanted to hug his girl again and kiss his wife, he had pictures like always and we all looked at them for hours. Breda just wanted to go home, he only went because I did, Falman too. They all did really, just followed me blindly. Hawkeye was the worst of the lot, she egged them on if they started to falter, pushing them behind me.

Within seconds of getting off the train, I was in a meeting, getting an experimental stone. I thought they quit making those, but I got one anyway. I threw it away as soon as I left the building but Falman picked it up. He insisted I keep it, even if I didn't use it. Ten minutes after arriving, we started off again, with a new unit. Fifty men, already tired and battle worn. Our sector was a day's march away, the terrain was too broken to use trains or cars anymore. We walked, fighting as needed, avoiding them if we could. They were crazy, religious fanatics, not afraid to die because their god promised eternal life to those who served. They used alchemy but not to attack per se, it was more to walk in and explode, taking as many as possible with them. It was, disturbing, they would sing or chant prayers while they blew up. After the first time, I was grateful I could only hear from one side, I only had to hear half of what they said.

Breda was the first loss from our unit. A sniper, in a 'safe' town. The local regiment said they had cleared it and we were just walking through, he was laughing at a joke, teasing Falman, then he was down. I picked the shooter off, more by reflex than anything, but it didn't matter. He was already gone, a clean shot. We buried him there, in that town. Never found out it's name, it had been practically eradicated before we got there.

Fuery kept his letters, he was certain they wouldn't send them. Maybe he was right, he carried a lot of baggage around but he wouldn't leave it. He wouldn't leave anyone, enemy or ally, he insisted on stopping and picking up any and all tags and letters. All enemy tags were left hanging prominently for them, allies were handed in at the next post. He was tough, tougher than we thought we would be. He kept up, lead mostly, he managed to rig a mine detector, metal really, but it only had a few feet of range and the upper officers weren't interested. He still made them for anyone who wanted, wasted time and slowed us down, but he saved lives. He risked his life over and over to help anyone he could. He finally gambled on the wrong people. There was a little girl, a toddler, out in a mined area. He went to get her and took her to a rebel group across the field. They shot him in the back when he started back to us. He fell but managed to get moving again, crawling back to us. Havoc went for him but couldn't see the mines. Cain tried to warn him, send him back, he stood and was shot again. Jean tried to catch him and they both went down. We couldn't even find their tags. They all died, every one of them, women and children, before I even realized what I'd done. Maes held me back, I don't know how many more I would have killed.

Maes. He always acted like a moron, but he really was brilliant. I put him in charge of half the squad, him and Hawkeye. They went left, I went right, and only Falman and I showed up a the meeting place. They ran into a group of rebels and took most of them out, but lost almost their entire squad, there were two survivors. Their bodies were brought in and I had to identify them as their commanding officer. I could barely tell it was Riza, just her hair and her favorite gun, the one with her initials on it. I can't believe I was so stupid as to let them go, I shouldn't have listened. It seemed like the right thing to do, but I should have kept them with me, how could I protect them so far away? Not that I did a very good job of protecting anyone.

Look at Vato, he was right behind me, I could feel him, hear him. Then, he wasn't, I had my hand on his jacket and he wasn't there anymore. I almost went crazy looking for him, I used the stone and lit the entire area up. My squad scrambled for me, the only things not burning were touching me when I was done. We couldn't find him, his tags were by my feet and we couldn't find his body. I was terrified I had gotten him myself, but one of the other men, a boy, only 18, saw him shot. So grateful, I gave him my ration that night.

After that, it mostly fades, the last six months were a blur of red and mud. It rained a lot there, I depended on the gloves you gave me and the stone just to function. Rations ran out a month before we were pulled, there was almost nothing left to scavenge, the land was destroyed. We shared what we had, there was only ten of us, I refused to take on new recruits. The older men tried to feed the younger more, they needed it, so thin. We couldn't let them get weaker, they might not make it out. They finally called us in, it took almost a week for us to make our way back to a base with train service. Nine men, of fifty, walked out with me. We just sat, silent the entire way home. I don't even remember getting off, I just remember standing outside, watching the house, hoping you two were still here.

It was all my fault, I should have moved up faster, I should have fought harder against the war, I, I should have made them stay home. It's my fault, they all died, because they believed in me, and I didn't live up to it. I failed them all. And now, I'm Fuhror and I am a failure at that. I'm dangerous, I hurt you, I might hurt others, I shouldn't be here, I should have died there.”

He sobbed, his head on the table while Ed wrapped his arms around him and pressed his cheek to his hair. “You're not a failure, Roy. You did the best you could, you worked hard to move up and you fought to stop that war as hard as you could, I know you did. You are making this country strong again and that's what they fought for. They wanted you to prevent future wars, to make it safe for their families and friends. That's why they followed you, that's why they gave their lives, because you are worth believing in.” He brushed his lips against the soft hair. “You're getting better, it takes time. You would never seriously hurt anyone innocent, you never have and never will. I know you and I know you protect as many as possible before harming even one.” Roy's arms came up to hug him back. “I'm grateful you didn't die there, I needed you to come back, Al needed you. It's selfish but I don't care, we needed you to come back for us.” The dark haired man was wearing himself down, his sobs fading to sniffles. “Let's go to bed, we both need to sleep.” The blond tugged his lover's arm until he got up and followed him to their bedroom to fall into an exhausted sleep. They called in in the morning and stayed home all day, cuddling and spending time in the safety of each others arms.