Running Out Of Tomorrows
part 3
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OUT OF TOMORROWS
THREE
* * *
Sighing deeply, Duo slid a
coin into a public vid-phone, located in the hospital’s cafeteria. His
movements were tired and numb as he slowly dialed. He leaned back against the
wall with a sigh, waiting for the long-distance call to connect.
A few long moments later, he
could hear a soft ‘click!’ and then a voice answered.
“Hello?”
Duo hurried to push himself
off the wall and came to stand in front of the vid-screen. He smiled weakly
the
the woman displayed on it.
“Hey, Hilde, it’s me.”
“I can see that.” The woman
muttered, casting her gaze down briefly. She took a deep breath and looked up,
smiling softly. “How are you, Duo? Where are you calling from? The delay time
is awful!”
Duo chuckled bitterly. “I’m
on L7.” He answered, waiting about fifteen seconds until the transmission
traveled through time and space in order to reach Hilde. He could then see the
woman nod in understanding.
“That explains it alright.”
She sighed, her expressierioerious once again. “How is he?”
Duo sighed heavily, bowing
his head. He shrugged. “Not so good...” He took a deep breath, and then looked
at her again. “He’s dying.”
On the other side of the
line, Hilde swallowed and nodded ever so slightly. “I see. Is he ill?” She
asked in genuine concern.
Again Duo sighed, running a
hand through his long bangs. “There’s something wrong with his kidneys, or
something. I dunno... whatever it is, it looks real bad.”
“Is it cancer? They got this
new methods to treat certain types of cancer, I heard on the news that they’re
even gonna issue special treatments on some colonies.”
“No, it’s not cancer. And
there’s no cure. He needs a transplant. Otherwise, he’ll die.” Duo muttered
bitterly, struggling to contain the tears that threatened to come. He took a
deep breath, trying to compose himself. “He’s running out of time.”
“Well, aren’t there any
donors?” Hilde asked, sounding a little worried.
Duo chuckled bitterly.
“Hilde, this is L7. All the patients here are at the bottom of the waiting
list. There’s no way he’ll get one in time.”
Hilde sighed, nodding her
head in understanding. She took a dbreabreath and then looked up at her
ex-husband. “Are you going to stay there with him?”
least I can do.” He took another deep breath, running a trembling hand through
his bangs. He looked up at Hilde again, smiling weakly. “Is Solo there?”
At the mentioning of her
son’s name, Hilde smiled as well. “Yes, of course. He’s been anxious to talk to
you. I’ll go get him.”
Duo smiled thankfully and
watched as his ex-wife disappeared from the screen. A second later and a small,
chestnut, head bounced up into the camera’s view.
“Daddy!” Solo’s cheerful
voice called happily, the boy’s grinning face looking at his father with
sparkling blue eyes.
Duo’s smile broadened. “Hey,
little-man, wussup?”
The boy smiled from ear to
ear, his face radiant. “Daddy! Daddy! Guess what!”
Duo couldn’t help but chuckle
at the excited little voice. “What? Mommy slipped on a banana
“I heard that!” Hilde’s voice
called from afar.
Both father and son chuckled.
“No, silly! It’s somng
ng
better!” Solo chirped, pulling something out of his pocket. He handed it up to
the camera. “See? Mommy bought me a Jinx-pack and it had TWO diamond cards in
it!” The boy grinned, showing off his collector’s cards. “Aren’t they cool?
Look, this one’s a Super-Jinx!”
Duo smiled back at his son,
struggling not to let his sadness show. “That’s great, little-man. We’ll put
them all in an album when I’ll come back.”
Solo’s blue eyes widened in
joy and he bounced up happily. “Really!? You gonna buy me a Jinx Card
Collector’s album!? Cool! I bet Mary-Jane doesn’t have one!” The boy stopped
his merry dance, looking thoughtful all of a sudden. He looked up at his
father, his blue eyes hopeful. “Are you gonna come back soon, daddy?”
Duo sighed. “I dunno,
little-man. I really don’t.”
“Is your friend really sick?”
“. . . .yeah, Solo, he is.”
Duo smiled weakly. “Sureuddyuddy. I’ll tell him.” He forced himself to stop sounding so depressed and
smiled. “You go have fun now, little-man. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay, daddy, goodnight.” The
little boy muttered, looking a little disappointed, for the conversation was so
short.
“Goodnight, Solo. Putr
mr
mother back on the phone, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Bye daddy.”
“Bye Solo.” Duo mumbled,
reaching a hand up to touch the screen, as if caressing his son. He sent him a
tired smile before the boy handed the phone to his mother.
Hilde was immediately back on
the screen. “What is it?”
Duo sighed heavily, raising a
hand up to rub the back of his head. “Hilde, I need to ask you for a favor...”
Hilde nodded. “Well, I’ll try
my best... What is it?”
Duo smiled thankfully. “I
need you to make a short trip down to my office. There are some things I need
you to take care of for me...”
* * *
finally stumbled down the passage that led to Heero’s bed. His steps were slow
and heavy, tired after a long day. He ignored the sickening feeling that was
radiated by the large room, and just concentrated on keeping his eyes open and
his feet moving. When he reached Heero’s bed, he pushed the thin yellow curtain
aside and then slowly closed it after him. He turned aroundghinghing, trying to
ready himself to the sight of Heero.
The Japanese man was lying in
his bed, deep asleep. His pale features looked worn and haggard, his colorless
lips slightly parted as he breathed. The dim blue light that filtered through
the window by his bed lighted him, washing his pale skin with a faint blue
glow. The thin and dirty blanket hung sloppily over his slim figure, partly sliding off the bed.
Duo leaned down and covered Heero tightly.
He then drew out a small and uncomfortable metal chair he
had found some time earlier, and sat down by Heero’s bed. He took a deep
breath, and reached down two hands to hold Heero’s hand. He held the thin and
fragile-looking palm in both his hands, looking at his sleeping friend with
heartrending eyes. Tears shone ie dae dark-purple pools
glistering under the fake moonlight.
“Do you remember, a life time
ago, how you held my hand like this? It was after you rescued me from the moon
base. You stayed by my side all night long, holding my hand when you thought I
was asleep...” He smiled at the memory, shifting a little in his chair. “I
never understood why you did it... you were so kind to me... I guess I never
expected you to be like that. Especially where I was concerned. But you cared,
didn’t you? You always cared...”
He sighed, leaning back in
the metal chair, but he kept his hands around Heero’s. He studied Heero’s
peaceful features, his heart suddenly beating faster. He tightened his hold on
Heero’s hand. It was srm..rm... so... alive. For how long will he be able to
feel this warmth?
A shudder went down Duo’s
spine and he took a shaky breath.
He sighed, reaching up a hand
to run through his long bangs. He smiled down at the slumbering boy, his eyeompaompassionate. “I’ve missed you, Heero, you know that?” He whispered gently,
his fingers tousling Heero’s soft hair. “Seven year, Heero... seven long years...
Do you think we could have lived them differently?” He sighed and leaned back
in his chair, looking thoughtfully down at Heero. He remained holding his hand,
his fingers brushing against Heero’s soft and gentle palm.
“I’m not sure if I want them
to be different. I mean, I love my son, and I loved my wife, if only for a
little while... I wo’t t’t trade Solo for anything in thole ole world, but...”
He sighed deeply, turning to look out the window. He smiled sadly. “I wish you
could meet him, Heero. He’s a great kid. He would have liked you, ya know? He
thinks all of us pilots are just so damn cool. Well, except of me. He claims
that I’m the biggest idiot who ever lived.” Duo chucklehe lhe light returning
to his eyes. He looked back at Heero, smiling. “See? You two can get along just
great, calling me an idiot and a baka all day long...”
On the bed, Heero remained
still, still asleep and oblivious to Duo’s voice. Duo tightened his hold on
Heero’s hand. He took a deep breath and sighed.
“I wonder, if you would have
agreed to come if I had only asked... Would you, Heero? Would you have come
with me instead of boarding that shuttle?”
Heero’s hand twitched in his
hold, but the boy did not wake.
Duo sighed and leaned down
towards his friend, so he could whisper in his ear. “I’m not sure about what
I’m trying to ask you here, Heero. I’m not so sure about anything anymore. I
mean, I thought that I loved Hilde, but look how that turned out.” He sighed,
looking away briefly and then turned back to Heero. He smiled sadly, his violet
eyes shining in the dark. “I guess we’ll never know, huh Heero? I suppose we
can never walk the road we’ve chosen not to take. There’s no going back... But
that doesn’t matter. We still have time. I promise you, Heero, I’m gonna stay
by your side. As long as you’ll need me, Heero. I’m not going anywhere.”
He smiled kindly at the
slumbering boy and then leaned dto gto gently kiss his forehead. He reached up
a hand to tenderly push a few bangs out of Heero’s closed eyes and turned to
look down at his peaceful features. “I’m here for you, Heero. In that you can
always be sure.”
* * *
Hours flew by and Duo dozed
on and off, unable to calm his mind in order to sleep, not to mention finding a
comfortable position on his creaking chair. For a long time, he merely looked
down at his sleeping friend, guarding his sleep. Realizing that he won’t be
getting any sleep, Duo turned to find other things to busy himself with.
He carefully let go of
Heero’s hand and turned to face the small nightstand by his bed. Once again he
scanned the various items scattered on the small desk, noting that most of them
were means to keep Heero entertained. He leafed through the small pocketbooks,
but hurried to put them aside for he was too tired to read. He also found a few
oldazinazines, but he left them alone and turned to open the small drawer. The
drawer was full of papers, a bunch of pens and pencils, a pair of scissors,
envelopes and a few other discarded items. But most of all, there were large stacks
of paper that filled the small drawer.
Frowning, Duo reached down to
take some of them out. He looked down at the stack of papers in his hand,
noticing a few more ‘charity money’ receipts. He ignored them and continued leafing
through the various papers. He was confused when he realized that they were
pages cut out of various magazines. Puzzled, he looked at the stack of
magazines on top of the small table. He looked back down at the papers in his
hand, and his frowned deepened.
Why would Heero cut out
pieces of the magazines?
At a closer look at each
piece of paper, Duo slowly began to realize the answer to his question. Heero
didn’t just cut out random pieces of the magazines. Most of the things he cut
were ads, dozens of colorful commercials. All of the ads were funny in their
nature, presenting colorful comics and caricatures. And not only did he cut out
ads, he also collected a few small articles, from what seemed like a business
magazine. And all of these items had to do with one thing- Duo’s Salvaging
business.
Duo gaped down at the papers
in his hand, completely stunned. Heero had collected every single ad his
company ever came up with. Every paragraph that had to do with his business,
about its development and inventive nature, was right here in Duo’s hand. He
wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll check the rest of the drawer and see that the
articles and ads dated back to the day when he had first started his company.
Some of the ads he was holding were at least five years old. Some were so old,
that he barely remembered how Hilde and he sat down in their shabby old office,
trying to come up with an amusing ad to promote their new founded company.
Why would Heero do such a
thing? Why collect all these things? Could it be... could it be that Heero
thought about him too? All this t all all those years of wondering and thinking
about the boy... did Heero do the same during all that time? Did he miss him so
much that he began collecting everything that had to do with his life?
“I was going to put them in a
nice album,” Heero’s sleepy voice suddenly spoke up, as the Japanese boy slowly
turned to lie on his side. “But I couldn’t spare the cash...” He mumbled,
looking at Duo sadly, his midnight blue eyes shimmering in the dark.
Duo didn’t answer for a
while, nor did he turn to face his friend. He was looking down at the pieces of
paper in his hands, his eyes shimmering with tears. “Why did you collect them?”
He whispered without looking up at Heero.
Heero smiled weakly, the
light returning to his eyes. “They’re funny. And they made me smile.” He
answered with a smile, looking at Duo with shining cobalt eyes. “They reminded
me of you.”
Duo whirled around to face
him, his features pale with shock and his eyes wide. He gaped at Heero, and the
boy smiled weakly. He sighed and looked back down at the papers he was holding.
A few tears threatened to escape his eyes so he slowly closed them, taking a
deep breath.
“Go home, Duo.” Heero spoke
up again, mistaking Duo’s actions for longing. By the way Duo was clutching the
torn pieces of the magazines, it seemed like he was homesick. Heero sighed and
looked up at Duo, his gaze intense. “Go back to your wife and son.”
Again there was a long period
of silence as Duo continued sitting there with the ads clutched within his palms.
He sighed heavily and put the ads aside. He then slowly turned to look at
Heero. “Why did you call me here, Heero? Why me of all people?”
Heero sighed and turned to
lie on his back, looking away from Duo. “....I did not mean that you should
come. It was a mistaI’m I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his shimmering eyes looking up
at the ceiling. He clutched his blanket in his fist. “My wish was that you
would be informed once I’m dead. I apologize for the mistake, I didn’t realize
that they misunderstood my request.”
Duo shook his head, reaching
down for Heero’s hand. “That doesn’t answer my question. Why did you choose
me?”
Heero sighed. “I wanted... I
wanted someone to know... someone to remember me, maybe.” He mumbled, closing
his eyes sadly. “Someone who will hear about my death and it would mean
something to him...” He turned to Duo, offering a weak little smile. “And you
are that person, Duo. I couldn’t think of anyone else. You know me better than
anyone in this world. I had hoped...” His voice trailed off and he had to take
a deep breath before continuing. “I had hoped that you will be gracious enough
to remember that I had lived and walked this world once... because no one else
will.”
Duo’s eyes, now flooded with
tears again, widened in stunned silence. Heero smiled weakly and nodded his
head, as if confirming his own statement. He looked away from Duo, turning his
head to the other side, as the silence stretched for an eternity.
“I know it sounds like a
lot...” Heero finally said, his fingers playing with the folds of his blanket.
“I realize that it is a very selfish thing to ask for...” He sighed, pausing
for a moment, before turning to face Duo with the most wretched expression Duo
had ever seen in his life.
“I’m a coward, Duo. I asked
them to call you once I am dead because I couldn’t bring myself to face you
personally...” He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. “At least if I’m dead, I
can still have the hope that you will agree to my selfish request...”
“Heero...” Duo whispered,
unable to come up with anything to say. He was so shocked by this genuine
confession. He had never expected to hear such things from Heero. All this
time... all this time had passed and he didn’t know... he had no idea... He was
so blind... After all, he was the only one Heero would smile at... the only one
he would allow himself to crack a nervous joke with...
He was completely stunned bhis his realization, that he could do nothing but stare at Heero with wide and
tearful violet eyes.
“I...” He choked out, knowing
that he just HAD to respond somehow, but the words would not come...
Heero smiled sadly. “You
don’t have to say anything, Duo. It doesn’t matter anymore.” He reached down a
trembling hand to hold Duo’s, looking up at him with shining cobalt eyes. “I’m
just glad that you came to see me.” He whispered softly, squeezing Duo’s hand.
“It’s more I could ever wish for...”
Duo winced at the broken
remark, looking away from those haunting blue eyes. He sniffled and closed his
eyes sadly.
Heero sighed heavily, looking
out the window. “I wish there was a way for me to show my gratitude, but I have
nothing to offer...”
Duo’s fingers curled around
Heero’s frail hand, and a choked whimper broke past his lips.
“I never had...” Heero
whred red sadly, letting go of Duo’s hand, preparing to pull away.
But Duo didn’t let him. He
tightened his hold on Heero’s hand and whirled around to look at him. His
violet eyes were fierce and determined, shining with a new light,
“Heero, that’s not true.”
A little stunned at first,
Heero blinked, looking at Duo in confusion. He then chuckled bitterly and
looked away. “Yes it is. You were always the one to offer a smile, even when
things were hard. You would give the world if it was yours to offer... You were
always there for me...” He sighed. “But I realized too late. You moved on... I
have no right to interfere with your life...”
“Heero...” Duo whispered in
compassion, brining up another hand in order to hold Heero’s palm. “Heero, stop
that. It’s not too late.”
Heero smiled sadly, his eyes
tearful. “Your son is the luckiest little boy alive... To have all of your love
and devotion...” He closed his eyes, looking away. “I envy him...”
“Heero, I---”
“Go home, Duo.” Heero asked
him again, turning around to face him. “You don’t have to stay here any longer.
Go back to your family. I bet your wife misses you--”
“Heero, I’m divorced.”
Heero gasped.
“I don’t live with Hilde
anymore.”
His eyes widened, his lips
parting, gaping at Duo.
“I’ve been divorced for the
last four years.”
His face slowly drained of what
little color they had left, and his hands began to slightly tremble.
“Di--di-divorced?!”
Duo nodded, blinking away the
tears. “Yes, Heero. I’m divorced. I never really loved Hilde in the first
place...”
“Uhh...” Heero let out, but
he had no words to pronounce the shock that he was feeling. This terrible and
aching feeling spread in his body, burning its way through his veins. His heart
pulsed wildly, pounding against this chest.
“Four... years..?”
He had been wrong. He had
been so wrong...
“All this... all this time...
I...” Heero mumbled, hand over his mouth. Tears slid down his cheeks, and he
turned to look at Duo, his blue eyes glistering with thick tears. “I thought...
I--”
“I’ve missed you so much,
Heero!” Duo cried out, launching towards the boy.
Heero gasped and jumped up in
surprise, as Duo’s arms were suddenly all around him, pulling him into a
crushing and desperate embrace.
Duo ignored his stunned
reaction and just held him tightly. “God, Heero... all this time. . . I’m so
sorry. . .”
Stunned, it took Heero a
while to register what was happening. His wide blue eyes, which were staring
numbly at the ceiling, suddenly blinked and turned down to look at the boy
lying on top of him. Slowly, he raised his hands up and returned the hug.
Duo whimpered and hurried to
look away from those compassionate blue eyes. Tears flooded his violet eyes and
slid like waterfalls onto his cheeks, hair and the pillow. He tightened his hold
around Heero, gathering the boy into his arms, pushing him up so they will be
as close as possible.
Heero smiled as Duo tightened
his hold around him, burying his face in his chest. Tears filled his deep blue
eyes, but nevertheless he was smiling when Duo turned to look at him. The
braided boy’s face was stained with tears, his eyes sorrowful and miserable. He
returned a faltering smile, but it was mixed with misery and grief.
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He had wasted so much time. .
.