Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz: Gundam Wing
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, but that's ok. All I want is Deathscythe Hell. Does anyone happen to know how to make Gundanium? Anyway, please don't sue me, thankyouverymuch.
Author: Koneko Shido
Warnings for all parts: Yaoi/Shonen-ai, OOC, TWT, Weirdness, High explosives, Fantasy, Language, Relena-bashing and a little Wufei bashing too, but you know I love him really!
Note: Like I promised, I'll try to be nicer to Wufei this time.


Part Three.

Duo cheerfully reached up and pulled the rope to ring the bell on the great doors of the Emerald city. Wufei looked around at all the green buildings and scowled. Green, how imaginative. Well, that would be why it was called the emerald city, then.
"Hey!" A voice growled at them from a hole that had opened in the door. "The bell is broken. Are you blind, or just stupid?!" The woman said to Duo, pointing to the huge sign that read, "The bell is broken!"
Duo blinked as the hole snapped shut then shrugged and kicked the door a few times. The hole opened again.
"Oi, we wanna see the wizard guy." Duo said politely. The woman, who had her hair in two bunches on either side of her head and evil-looking glasses glared at him.
"No one ever sees the wizard, so go away."
Before Duo had a chance to argue, Heero stepped forward and scowled at the woman, his gun aimed at her.
"Let us in before I shoot you. Some baka fairy or witch or whatever sent us, she made me wear these baka shoes to prove it, and now there's ANOTHER baka witch chasing us, and if you don't let us in I'm going to blow up the baka door, baka!" Heero growled, proving that you can use the word "baka" five times in a sentence and get away with it, but only if you have a gun.
The woman, who you may by now have guessed was Lady Une, looked down at Heero's sapphire shoes and rolled her eyes.
"Why didn't you just say that before, then? Fine, come in, but I doubt his Excellency will see you." She said and the hole snapped shut again. A moment later the huge door swung open and Heero put his gun away, leading the way inside the emerald city.
Lady Une looked down at the five scruffy teenagers before her, noting the various leaves and twigs sticking out of their hair and their torn clothes.
"Come with me, you'd better get cleaned up. His Excellency won't even consider seeing you if you look like you've just been dragged through a bush backwards and then sprayed with mud. Time for a makeover!" Lady Une said, somehow managing to grab all five boys at once and dragging them all off to a green bus. She threw them all in and locked the door, then paid the driver to take them he bhe beauty parlor.

Inside the bus...
"Don't let them cut it! Heero!" Duo sobbed hysterically, clinging to Heero's leg.
"Calm down, baka. They won't cut your hair." Heero comforted, trying to shake Duo off his leg.
"Promise?" Duo sniffled adorably, his eyes filled with tears. Heero sighed.
"Look, if I even see scissors I'll shoot them, ok? Now let go of my leg!" The perfect soldier growled.
"'Kay." Duo wiped his eyes and let go of Heero's leg, sitting on the floor and pouting.

At the beauty parlour...
"Now why don't we just take a little off the ends?"
BANG!!!
"Heero, that's the third one you've shot, why don't you just tell them that Duo doesn't want his hair cut?" Quatre said helpfully. Heero looked blankly at him for a moment then nodded.
"Nobody cuts Duo's hair or I shoot them." The perfect soldier said, leaning back and playing with his gun coolly. The terrified beauticians nodded and set about re-braiding Duo's hair. Duo grinned happily.
By the time they were all finished, six more beauticians joined the three Heero had shot. Namely because they'd very unwisely tried to put blush on Wufei and he'd gone with his urge to rip them to shreds. One had also tried to pull off one of Quatre's ears, which had resulted in Trowa having to kill them with his razor-sharp hair, since his nails were drying.
When it was finally all over the five boys stood and stared at each other, turning as Lady Une appeared and looked them over skeptically.
"It'll do. Come on." She growled, stalking off. The boys followed, Duo making faces behind her back all the way to the palace. As they were about to go in, however, something that sounded like thunder boomed across the sky and they all looked up to see Relena coming towards them on her broomstick.
"Crap." Duo sighed. Heero went very pale and began to back away slowly, suddenly breaking into a run and bolting for the nearest hiding place, which happened to be underneath the bus.
"Heeeeeeerooo!!!!" Came the usual screech, before, instead of the usual crash, Relena's broomstick shot past, breaking the sound barrier, and disappeared into the distance.
"Well that was strange," Quatre commented as Heero crawled out from underneath the bus.
"Wonder what she wanted?" Duo said, scratching his nose.
"Um, who cares?" Wufei muttered sarcastically.
"..." Trowa added. Heero scowled.
"Take us to this wizard before something bad happens to you." He said to Lady Une in a threatening voice, and Duo patted him on the back as they entered the palace.
"Awww, don't worry, Hee-chan, I won't let the nasty witch get you." Duo promised, and Heero growled at the floor, swearing that he was going to shoot someone soon.

"Well, you don't see that every day," Duo said, looking up at the huge monster face hovering above a pit of flames.
"WHO DARES DISTURB ME?" The face boomed, fixing them with a pair of glowing red eyes.
"Us?" Duo told the face, not being the most polite of people at the best of times. Quatre looked appalled at his bad manners and Heero stepped forward.
"Listen to me, wizard or whatever you are, I want to go back where I came from before this idiotic place drives me insane. Now." Heero demanded, drawing his gun and pointing it at the face.
"And I want a VCR." Duo added.
"DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN SHOOT ME?" The face laughed. Heero narrowed his eyes and smirked evilly.
"I can try." The perfect soldier said, cocking his gun. The face looked a little worried for a moment then got an even more evil look in its eyes.
"ALRIGHT, PERHAPS I WILL HELP YOU. BUT THERE IS A CONDITION."
"And what might that be?" Heero asked, lowering his gun.
"ACTUALLY THERE ARE TWO. FIRSTLY, YOU HAVE TO FETCH SOMETHING FOR ME FROM THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST, RELENA PEACECRAFT."
"And what is it you want us to fetch?" Heero glared, not at all ng tng the idea of going anywhere near the insane girl.
"HER BROTHER, ZECHS." The face smirked. "DON'T WORRY, IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD, JUST SNEAK INTO HER CASTLE AND BRING HIM TO ME. IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU NEED JUST ASK LADY UNE AND SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SUPPLY YOU WITH ANY EQUIPMENT." The face said, and watched Heero smirk at the thought of all the havoc he could wreak on Relena's castle, given the right amount of explosives.
"The other thing you wanted?" He asked warily, foldins ars arms. The face shifted its gaze to Wufei, who gulped nervously under the scrutiny of the gigantic, red eyes.
"LET ME BORROW YOUR LITTLE DOG FOR A WHILE. I'M SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM UNTIL YOU GET ZECHS."
Heero looked relieved and shrugged.
"Fine." He muttered, then turned and stalked out, followed by Trowa and Quatre.
"Good luck, Wuffie!" Duo grinned, winking at him, then ran to catch up with Heero. The moment they were gone the huge doors to the wizard's chamber swung closed and Wufei blinked.
"Shit." He muttered, looking up at the monster face floating before him.

"Are you sure we should have left Wufei alone with that thing?" Quatre asked Heero.
"He can look after himself." Heero said in his cold monotone, then went back to strapping grenades all over himself. Lady Une entered the small waiting room carrying a large crate and set it down in front of Heero.
"The anti-tank weapon you ordered, with depleted uranium bullets and heat-seeking missiles, sir." She said to Heero, then turned to Duo. "The machine gun you requested is also in there, along with your dynamite and C-4, plus the detonators." She then looked at Quatre and Trowa, shrugging and tossing them an Uzi each. "Enjoy." She muttered, then turned and stalked out of the room.
"Sweet." Duo grinned, lifting up his huge machine gun and tucking the explosives into his pockets. Quatre looked down at the huge gun he could barely lift and ned ned worriedly.
"I can't help but feel sorry tha that poor girl..."

Wufei looked nervously at the monster head, taking a step back in surprise when it suddenly vanished and the flames went out.
"I almost pity poor Relena," a voice said from behind a curtain, before a handsome man stepped out, bowing elegantly to Wufei. "Allow me to introduce myself. Treize Khushrenada, the real wizard of Oz. And you are?" He asked, straightening up. Wufei looked confused and raised an eyebrow. "Chang Wufei. If you are the Wizard, what was that?" He asked, gesturing to where the floating head had been. Treize laughed.
"That's for the tourists. Now tell me something. Are those ears real?" The wizard asked, licking his lips evilly and advancing on Wufei, who smirked.
"Of course. So is the tail."

"You think I'm walking all the way to Relena's castle carrying this?" Duo complained, and Heero surprisingly agreed with him for once.
"I ordered a tank." Trowa said quietly, a moment before there was a rumbling sound and the aforementioned vehicle crashed through a wall, coming to a stop right in front of the four boys.
"Where we go, we go in style." Duo grinned, climbing into the hatch on top of the tank after Heero and Trowa.
"Oh my." Quatre sighed, following them and dragging his Uzi along by the strap.
Once they were all inside, Trowa took the controls and started the huge machine up, ignoring the gates to the emerald city as he crashed it through a wall, making his own exit.
Duo howled, tying a red headband around his head, Rambo-style. Quatre ld ved very worried.
"I can't help wondering if you should be enjoying this quite so much?" He said, but Heero smirked at him.
"Relena seems to be very strong. After all, she can crash into the ground at over a hundred miles an hour and get up with barely a scratch. This is necessary." He informed the cat, who sighed.
"I suppose so..."
"Let's see her get up again after I make her eat ten pounds of C-4!" Duo cackled wickedly. Heero loaded a huge cartridge into his gigantic gun and his eyes glittered.
"Not before I give her an anti-tank missile between the eyes." He hissed. Duo looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Hey Trowa, think you could run her over in this thing a few times first? Just to soften her up, y'know?" He asked. Trowa drove the tank in a straight line towards the twisted pink castle in the distance, driving over everything that got in his way including trees, houses, people...
"...Sure." Trowa said quietly, his lips twitching in what was almost a smirk.

"You know," Treize purred as he lay in bed, playing with Wufei's fuzzy, black ears as the Chinese boy lay next to him, "I think you'll like Zechs."
Wufei smirked and ate a chocolate from the box on the bed beside him which Treize had ordered, feeling the wizard's fingers trailing down his spine.
"I can't wait to meet him."

"Oh Heero... I wiou wou were here..." Relena sighed, looking out of her window. Suddenly she squealed in surprise as the boy she'd been daydreaming about ran out into the middle of the courtyard, stopped and looked up at her, smirking. He heaved the rocket launcher he'd been carrying onto his shoulder and aimed it at her, staggering back as it fired into her room. Relena screamed as the explosion blew a huge chunk out of her castle and she looked down in time to see a huge tank blow up her pink car then drive slowly over the wreckage, Duo hanging upside-down from the main gun.
"How's it going?" He called, his voice slightly muffled by the stick of dynamite held in his teeth. He then proceeded to light it and throw it at her. Yet another chunk of her castle disappeared in a flash of light.
"Maxwell! How dare you!?" She screeched, grabbing her broomstick and climbing onto it, jumping off the windowsill and flying down to him. Unfortunately, Relena wasn't the best of fliers. She slammed into the side of the tank with a clang like someone ringing a giant gong and Trowa, inside the tank, clapped his hands over his ears and winced. Getting up from where she'd slid to the ground, Relena huffed angrily and stamped over to Duo, who was busily fiddling with a detonator and a block of plastic explosives.
"Yo." He grinned, still upside-down. He slung the explosives at the wall of her castle and laughed insanely at the resulting explosion.
"Stop that at once! What are you doing? And where is my Heero?" Relena demanded, turning as Duo blinked and pointed behind her.
"Heero!" She screeched, seeing her knight in shining armour stood amongst the burning remains of her castle, fire dancing in his blue eyes evilly and a grenade in his hand.
"Relena." The perfect soldier smirked, then pulled the pin out with his teeth and threw the grenade at her, diving for cover as the witch exploded in a huge flash.
"Nice shot," Duo complemented, dropping down to the ground and picking up his machine gun.
"Oh dear..." Quatre said as he and Trowa joined the two boys.
"That was easier than I expected," Duo said in an almost disappointed voice.
"Wait... What's that?" Trowa said quietly, staring at the floor where Relena had been. On the flagstones were shining lumps of silver, which had been very small to begin with, but were now sliding towards each other until they became one large, silver puddle.
"Idiots." Zechs said, folding his arms as he stood against the ruins of a wall, waiting for the inevitable.
Sure enough, the silver liquid rose up and became the shape of Relena, then solidified and became the right colours, eventually leaving Relena standing there, looking slightly annoyed to say the least.
"Well, how rude." She pouted.
"What the hell?" Duo said, raising his machine gun as the other pilots also aimed their weapons at the witch.

Half an hour later, after everyone had run out of ammunition, Zechs wandered over as the four boys panted with exhaustion, watching Relena slowly begin to re-form for the tenth time.
"Well, I think you've pretty much established that guns and explosives don't work on her, well done." The blonde man said sarcastically, leaning against the side of the tank.
"What would you suggest we do?" Heero growled, glaring at Zechs.
"Nothing. It's about to rain." He said, looking up at the dark, cloudy sky.
"And?" Duo asked, confused.
"And so be patient and watch." Zechs smirked as the first drops of rain began to fall. Relena, having just managed to pull herself together, so to speak, gasped.
"Oh no! I have to get inside!" She panicked, her eyes widening as she looked at the remains of her castle. "Oh Heero! Help me!" She squealed as the rain became heavier.
Heero just watched in mild interest as she screeched his name, slowly beginning to melt.
"Heeeeero! Heeeeero! I'm melting! Oh, what a world!" She cried, melting until all that remained was a pile of bubbling slime and a pink dress.
"Cool." Duo grinned. Zechs rolled his eyes and followed them into the tank.
"Well that was utterly pointless." He said.

"Zechs, how good to see you again!" Treize greeted the blonde man, smirking as he introduced Wufei.
"A pleasure." Zechs said, licking his lips wolfishly as he bowed gracefully.
"Uh, who the hell are you?" Duo asked, looking at Treize and wondering where the cool monster head had gone.
"The Wizard, of course. The monster head is just for show I'm afraid," Treize told him.
"Whatever. Get me out of here." Heero said in his cold monotone, glaring at Treize.
"Wait, can I come too?" Duo asked, looking up at Heero with big, teary eyes. Heero tried to remain cold and impassive in the face of such cuteness but in the end he gave in, sighing.
"Fine." He said, looking at the other three boys. "And you?"
"I'm staying." Wufei smirked.
Quatre and Trowa looked at each other then at Heero.
"We're coming too!" Quatre smiled, grabbing hold of Trowa's arm. Trowa just shrugged as though where he was really didn't matter to him all that much.
"Well?" Heero growled at Treize.
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you've had the power to go back all the time. All you have to do is click your heels together three times." Treize said, laughing. Duo looked very worried and grabbed Heero's hand as he reached for his gun.
"Why didn't you just tell me that before?!" The perfect soldier snarled through gritted teeth, his fists clenched.
"Where's the fun in that?" Zechs smirked, and Trowa, Quatre and Duo had to hold Heero back and take away his gun.
When they'd finally managed to calm Heero down enough that they could risk letting go of him, the perfect soldier looked down at his shoes, ignoring Duo's giggling as he clicked his heels together three times, a deranged look in his eyes.
Then, in a very boring flash of light that wasn't really very impressive at all, Heero, Duo, Trowa and Quatre vanished.
Treize turned to Wufei.
"Shall we retire for the night? I'm sure you two would like to get... better acquainted." He said, leading Wufei and Zechs off towards bedrbedroom.
"Certainly," Zechs said.
Wufei just smirked, folding his arms as he followed them.


The End!
About time, ne? See, told you I'd be nicer to Wufei! You can't get much nicer than what he got! Heh heh heh.
I kind of lost the plot towards the end because I couldn't remember exactly what happened in the movie, and couldn't summon the amazing willpower it would take for me to watch it all the way through again. So, there you go. ^_^;;;; And who would have guessed that Relena Peacecraft was the Terminator? Anyway, comments! Reviews! Flames!