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Scene One - Five: Gundam Wing After Dekim	By : shini0angel Category: Gundam Wing/AC > General Views: 618 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Scene
Three: Jaded Dreams

Henrik Ibsen: A community is like
a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm

Isaac Newton: If I have seen
farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants

�You got your mama�s style

But you�re yesterday�s child
to me

So Jaded

You think that�s where it�s
at

But is that where it�s
supposed to be?�

~ Aeorsmith �Jaded�

Relena Darlian Peacecraft was a
strong young woman, a strong leader. She
knew her mind, what she hoped to accomplish during peace and for the future. She even had a dream and a noble vision. Her goal was simplistic but difficult to
accomplish, that the peace would be secure gh tgh to stand on its own with only
occasional guidance from her. A worthy
goal for one so young.

Wryly she smiled to herself at the
thought that such a day could come and that essentially she and the late Treize
Khushrenada were attempting the same end goal.
Treize had certainly been an inspiration to many, herself included
although there were few who could see his mark upon her. Those who saw his mark were much more
understanding of her goals and saw more in her than those who were oblivious to
his imprint upon her. He was so woefully
misunderstood by so many and she was hopeful that one day most of the people
would see what he had done for them.
They had the chance to rewrite policies that were beneficial to the
people, not the rulers.

�Treize�s dreams are now my own,�
Relena mused thoughtfully nibbling on the end of a pen. �I wonder if he knew that even now his impact
would be so gigantic, that his dreams and visions would guide so many of us.�

There was still so much political
turmoil, so much deviousness. Many of
the old hands wondered why such a young girl was in their midst and how she had
managed to last so long. All of them
thought she would get tired of playing grown-up, tshe she would fold and
break. But she was a Peacecraft and that
name still meant something, and she was a Darlian a name that carried a weight
of its own. She would not stop now. Others in politics thought she was too
innocent to play on the same level, thought she was unskilled and that she
lacked the proper instincts.

�I might be young and a girl in a
corrupt game,� Relena smoothed her light blue skirt out. �But I can play just as well as any of them
can.�

And she played the game better than
any of them. But she knew her place,
knew there were certain boundaries that even she could not overstep. Perhaps in a few years she might attempt to
but not when things were just becoming stable again.

She keenly missed Dorothy�s presence
by her side during events like this.
Relena did not trust any of the politicians who had had a hand in
Dorothy�s arrest, but it was hard to tell exactly who she could trust. Dorothy was a friend, she knew her and
trusted her. Relena needed her to keep
on fighting because she knew that she could not have Heero, knew that all too
well.

Heero had not told her himself that
things would not work out the way she had dreamed. Deep down she knew though, knew it would be
fated to end badly. There was no such
thing as a fairy tale ending for her.
The job of being a princess did not guarantee one and her job would
never be over so there was not even time for a happy ending. If Heero had been anyone else other than who
he was it might have worked. But he too
had a role to play, a role as important as her own and it did not include a
happy ending with her. There was no
escape from their respective roles and there never would be. At least not a means of escape that was fair
to the people and she could not simply ignore their needs.

What she wanted, what her dreams
were did not matter. Her personal dreams
would never come into play, would never blossom. Everyone wants to follow their dreams and
Relena was no different, the difference was that there was no way she could
even hope to make them reality.

�Dreams
are meant to be jaded Miss Relena,� Dorothy had said to her when they had been
alone just after the Dekim Barton uprising.

�Don�t you mean �broken� Dorothy?� She has naively asked
the older blond by her side. �Dreams are
meant to be broken?�

�No Miss Relena,� Dorothy shook her head and tucked some
of her long flowing and slightly dirty hair back over her shoulder. �Jaded.
Dreams like yours don�t ever break, not completely. They turn jaded and if you�re not careful
Relena-sama, you will too.�

�I feel like I�m already jaded,� Relena had tiredly
answered with a hollow eyed look.

�Not yet you aren�t Relena-sama,� Dorothy had smiled at
her. �Perhaps someday you will be, a few
years down the road when you�ve seen more than you already have. But just think of it Miss Relena,� Dorothy
sighed. �The fairy tale you were
expecting had only changed into a tragic love story. An epic ballad like Helen of Troy. Are you sure of your role Miss Relena? Are you sure of his?�

Relena had simply looked at her friend quizzically, not
understanding fully what Dorothy was saying to her. Dorothy often spoke to her in riddles and
often she did not figure them out until later but she thought that she would
understand this one soon enough.

�I�m sure of my role Dorothy,� she had answered
confidently.

�I think I understand now
Dorothy,� Relena whispered to the quiet and still room. �I�m Helen of Troy, I get a taste of happiness
but even that will serve to jade me.�

In the still of the night she sat
tucked away in her fancy hotel room.
Tomorrow she had important and crucial plans to carry out. She had to speak to Heero right away. There were a few things that she needed to
tell him before he heard them from anyone else.
And that meant she had to keep them all away, even the other
Pilots. She had the power and she would
use it.

Relena�s role was to advocate to the
people. She would draw them to her and
make them listen to her words so that they would realize what she was trying to
accomplish on their behalf. She would be
able to mend what was broken and build new trusts, foundations, hopes and
futures. She knew all of this and this
knowledge did not come without its price.
It meant that she could not have Heero, that dream was forever beyond
her reach, within sight certainly but utterly unattainable.

&np>

�Would I be here now if I had known
that?� She asked herself, wanting the answer to be yes but knowing that nothing
was certain.

Heero had his own tasks, other roles
he had to play. It was true, he was her
knight in shining armor come to rescue her but he was not her prince. His role had been made of a different design,
a savior for the people. Heero would build
the strength, be a model for it, and he would fight the evils that threatened
the peace. But he could not love
her. She had to make sure of that.

The little hints within the pages were
maddening at what they suggested but they never came right out and said what
exactly was being hidden. Relena wished
there was more information. When she
moved onto the next folder she began to get queasy, she felt the bile rise up
from her stomach and creep into the back of her throat.

Hurriedly she placed the folder on the nightstand
and raced to the bathroom. She threw up
into the sink, clutching the sides of it as her knees began to become wobbly
from all the retching. She rinsed out
her mouth and the sink, dropping onto the plush bath rug.

�It cannot be,� She repeated over and over as her
mantra. �It cannot be.�

Peace had been restored, businesses were thriving
and prospering. There was no reason for
them to partake in this madness. There
was no reason to start another uprising, or worse, another war.n
sn
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But there were only hints of this, nothing
concrete. It was driving her mad with
the need to have something solid, make it real or not real. Her search through the rest of the files
revealed nothing of use. This worried
her perhaps more than it should have.

There was only one viable option for her to
take. The thought of it made her stomach
churn with uncertainty and the feeling of the burn in the back of her throat
returned but slowly dissipated. She
would need help, it would never do for her to send her own peoploopiooping
around, people who had not the skill or experience. Heero would help her though, it was his field
of expertise and for the peace he would help her. Her knight in shining armor would fight off
the demons that were gathering.

Relena slept little that night and when she did
manage to close her eyes she had visions of another war starting and it was
because of her failures. But she had no
way of knowing that this would turn into a war, still it would be her
fault. She would not let that happen
while she still had the power and influence to alter things.

The next morning David Calhoun, her head of
security, drove her to the hospital.

�Are you sure it�s wise to keep his friends from him
Miss Peacecraft?� David asked glancing at her in the rear view mirror.

�It�s a matter of world wide security David,� Relena
replied evenly. �No one else can know
what I�ll be asking of Heero. And I
can�t afford to loose my nerve.�

�What world wide situation is there now?� David
returned his attention to the road.

�I can�t say much David,� Relena sighed. �Just believe in me on this. There�s something that may threaten the peace
in the next few years. I have to stop it
now. Heero is the one who will be able
to get the information that I need to solve this problem without
bloodshed. Or he�ll be the one to stop
it if I can�t. No one else can interfere
in this.�

clasclass=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>�Very well Miss Peacecraft,� David finally
agreed. �I�ll help you out in this
matter. I�ll have some of my men in the
hospital and they�ll screen everyone coming and going. I�ll put some near the elevators on the sixth
floor and keep guards outside Yuy�s room.�

�Thank you,� Relena smiled at him.

�I�m just doing my job,� David mumbled.

Relena knew that she was coming off sounding like a
foolish girl but this was serious. She
could not risk anyone else finding out about this mess, her power was at stake
here. If this leaked to the press wit the the next few months no one would bother to listen to her anymore and without
her the peace would falter. As a
Peacecraft it was her duty to see that such a thing never happened, it rested
on her shoulders. In no way would she
jeopardize the peace and everything else that the Gundam Pilots and Preventers
had worked so hard to achieve. She would
not risk what she had been given.

It sounded asinine to her, that the peace depended
on one person. But that was the truth,
the weakness of it all. The people saw
her as the true symbol of the peace and if she was not there for them they
would not know who to believe. Everyone
believed Relena told the truth as she knew it.

�Dorothy would laugh at me for this,� Relena thought
as she stepped out of the car and walked into the hospital followed closely by
David. �I know she would.�

Relena was impeccably dressed, as she always
was. She was wearing a green pant suit,
something Aimee had helped her to pick out in the morning. The style and color made her stand out
amongst the other people in the main lobby but she did not notice, completely
intent on her task. People stopped and
stared at her, recognizing her as the former Queen of the World and as the
current Vice-Foreign Minister, but no one dared to approach. She walked calmly to the elevator doors
knowing exactly where she needed to go and exactly how to get there. David had shown her the building plans and
she already knew what Heero�s room number was.

�The sound of my voice might just wake him up,� Relena
foolishly blushed. �Dorothy would laugh at me for that, I can almost hear her
mocking laughter ringing in my ears now. She would be right too and probably
tell me I�m getting my fair tales mixed up again. This seems almost like
Sleeping Beauty.�

The elevator doors closed on her and David, she
repressed the urge to give a sigh of relief. Composure was necessary at all
times with everyone watching her in her glass bowl. The elevator moved upwards
after a jerky start. She was prepared to meet her destiny or face utter ruin.
How much different could it be than what had happened a few days ago?

Relena easily gained access to Heero�s room even
though she was not on the approved list to be admitted. But being as famous as
she was no one thought otherwise. They just let her waltz right into the
hospital and assume command. Her reputation preceded her and for one of the few
handful of times she was not upset to be so easily recognized. Fame had its ups
and downs and this was one of the ups. Still, she could not help the little
twinge of guilt from what she was going to do, deny all his friends access to
him, even the authorities. But Relena Peacecraft was nothing but determined and
in her own way she was on a mission just as vital as any Gundam Pilot mission,
or so she told herself.

"Hello Heero," She spoke softly to him as
David closed the door behind her, leaving her in privacy with the comatose
Gundam Pilot. "It�s said that coma victims can often remember when they
are spoken to, I hope that you remember this." She took a deep breath to
steady her shaking hands and racing heart. "I do love you," Relena
confessed. "You probably knew that. I know that you don�t love me, you
might care but you don�t love me a�m a�m actually glad about that Heero.

"Dorothy was right about us, you know. Things
would never have worked, for once the princess doesn�t get her fairy tale
ending, her happily ever after. I�m only good as a symbol for the peace, aren�t
I Heero? But that�s all right I suppose, it makes things less distracting.

"Do you remember when we first met? I was such
a stupid and foolish little girl. I believed that you were my strength, that I
needed you for your strength. I had no idea what I was involving myself in and
when I realized just how big the Pilots roles were, well, I knew that I could
help. I always thought during that time that you would come back to me, protect
me and learn to love me. I was such a na�ve child and I did things during that
first war I shouldn�t have done, like following you around so much.

"When you wake up there�s something I need you
to do for me. I need you to save me again, the peace I mean. There�s something
wrong and you�re the only one I trust to help me in this. I need you Heero, the
world needs you. The rest of this conversation can wait until you�re awake,
which should be in a month according to the doctors. Come back soon
Heero."

Making her little speech, even if Heero was
comatose, made the situation more real to her. It cemented the dire need that
she had and the seriousness of the situation. And either Heero would hher her
or he would turn his back and walk away. Ifwalkwalked away she hoped to find
another way to diffuse the situation but she knew that she would need Dorothy
by her side. Dorothy always saw things so differently from her own point of
view, always helped her to clarify things and get to the heart of the matter.

Truthfully Relena did not really know what she was
doing, if she was doing the right thing. She had no idea how to compete against
a military threat which was why she needed Heero. A part of her told her that
she should alert Une but another part told her not to. If Une knew things could
escalate beyond her control and the people at the top of this might get away
just as they had done the first two times. Relena would not let it happen a
third. There had been enough blood spilled in her lifetime and it pained her to
know that there might be even more. It sickened her to think that some of those
she had worked on peace treaties and other policies with were partially
responsible for all those deaths during the uprising and for the start and
continuation of war. They were the people who would be the hardest to find and
to catch but Heero could do it, she believed in him.

Heero Yuy was the perfect tool to bring them down
permanently. He was the only one she trusted enough to work directly for her,
to not betray her. She did trust the other Pilots as well, most of them anyway.
Duo Maxwell would never understand her position in this, why she had to keep any
involvement of herself hidden and he talked too much. Quatre Winner would
understand her position but he had his own position to worry about. Chang Wufei
was too stubborn and moralistic for her needs, he might also betray her and he
would most certainly look down upon her. Trowa Barton, she could never read
him, never know what he was thinking and that was dangerous. Only Heero would
do for her mission.

And now, a troubled dream was all she had left to
cling to in the middle of the night. A might have been was her only safe harbor
in the coming storm, her only refuge and hope.

�Dorothy might be right after all,� Relena smiled
sadly to herself trying to put back together the pieces of a lost chance into
something new. �I still have a few years until I�m the one who�s jaded. For now
that role belongs to the fighters of the wars, to Heero, not me.�

Relena Darlian Peacecraft was only the princess who
led the picture perfect life and kept everything running smoothly, leading the
way to peace. She was the ultimate symbol, no room for imperfection or love.
And as a Peacecraft and Darlian it was up to her to carry out her birth and
adoptive father�s legacies, to live up to their image by making it her image.
She belonged solely to the peace and the people, all she had for herself were a
bunch of jaded dreams not even good enough to make into reality. Degenerate
things that she would never, could never, have. Her only hope of love was
something unattainable and out of reach.

And at the end of her long, lonely days she could
live with that.
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Scene One - Five: Gundam Wing After Dekim