Vindicated

Author’s Notes: Ahhh….I know that took a long time and most of you aren’t even interested in this story anymore. But for those of you who have never read this and are, please review. I know it’s not long, but this fic is not going to take off for some time. So give me a while to formulate a ideas and put them together. If you know me by now, it always takes a while for me to update, but I won’t abandon this story, and I have not truly abandoned the others. Anyway, I think this chapter came out pretty good and I like where it may be going. Thanks to all that even bothered to review, it does mean a lot even though I didn’t get back to it as quickly as you would have liked. I’m busier than you know, and I get to my stories when I can, but I’ve noticed that peoples expectations of fanfiction has somewhat changed over the years and I’m just trying to keep up with the times. ^.^


Disclaimer: I’m just a hapless author living off of reviews and pocket change. I don’t own Dargonball/Z/GT because if I did, then…well….I just don’t own it, okay?


Vindicated chapter three- Wrong

It’s been too long. Another year. I never saw him again. And I thought I hated him. I said to myself that I did. At one point I was so sure of it. But now, I am sure of one thing and one thing only:

I am about to go out of my fucking mind.

I left him that day, alone and angry; hurt and confused. And not once did I look behind me. For the first few days I was certain that I could go back to the way things were with my family, but every time I tried, I ended up royally messing things up. I tried for my daughter, but she has turned her cheek at my distant and unusually crude behavior. My wife has long since stopped trying to understand me. And my son, the little lavender haired brat, is too busy with his company to even remember that I exist, not that I paid much attention to him at all as a boy.

I have turned out exactly the way I did not want to be. I tried so hard to secure myself, but in the end, I ended up going down the same road of fate I swear I never wanted my feet to take me. I am alone. I have no friends, a family that does not appeal to me, and no one to call a mate. The blue haired human wasn’t compatible. I suppose that is why she was never enough.

It is getting harder and harder to go through the days angry at nothing and everything. I have an insatiable urge to make someone feel pain in anyway I can deal it. I make Bulma cry, I make Bulla so angry she takes it out on her human male friend and Trunks…I don’t ever see him anymore, but if I did, I would find some way to hurt him too.

And it’s all because of him.

Or is it?

Could it be me?

I have never been one to ever think about hypothetical situations, but I can’t help but wonder what where I would be if I had just taken the chance.

/I’ve waited for four years/

Four years had indeed been a long time since we had last seen each other, and I was sure it bothered me more than it bothered him, but hearing the blunt sadness and confusion in his voice made me realize that I was not the only one. Only, I couldn’t face the fact that he may have missed me in a different way than I missed him; that he would be disgusted to find that I had missed more than our spars and his incessant chatter.

I missed, miss, everything about that tall buffoon. I hate it, I really do. I was not made to feel this way. I was supposed to be ruthless and cold. I want to say that this planet and my family have softened me up and forced their unwanted emotions on me, but then I would not be telling the truth. It was him. Ever since I arrived on this planet, I have been obsessed with this third class nobody who throughout the years has evolved into someone very important to me. Upon realization of this feeling, I did everything I could to discredit it. I hurt him with my harsh words, beat him with my hard fists and I shut him out of my cold heart.

Then suddenly, I couldn’t do it anymore, because every time I hurled an insult at him, it hurt me too.

I am still fully aware that he is an idiotic fool, but he is no longer the third class piece of garbage I often staked my life to surpass. I no longer want to be greater than he is, because I can not. I want to be equal, in stature and in character. I want to be the person he thinks about when he is alone. I want to be his mate.

I want what I can not have. And there in lies my problem.

I have waited for him, waited for him to notice, to give in. But what I never wanted to think about was the possibility that it was he who was waiting for me. What if…There was a window like that at one moment in time, where I could climb in and let everything else out, but I hesitated for so long. Too long. That window slammed shut, crushing my feelings in its sill. I am too messed up to say it does not hurt me. Even Saiyajins have feelings.

Kakarot is an example of what happens when you forget about everything you ever were or were destined to be and clung to what you desired the most. He desired to be human. I desire to be companioned. He has gotten what he wanted.

Maybe I need to fall off of a mountain and crack my skull. I wish I could be more like him.

He is greater than me by every stretch of the imagination, and I want so much to bask in that glow he has, that power, those emotions. Because maybe, if I am willing to take what he has to offer, then I can find something of my own to give him. Right now I have nothing. I am not good enough. I tried, and when I did, I was still inferior to him in every way. Perhaps I do not deserve him. It is something in me that can not help but push everyone away. I want to try harder, but I can’t. Kakarot is gone anyway. He has not come to see me in little over a year. How such a span of time can be so little to a Saiyajin who has so many years of life. It’s killing me. Is it killing him? I have to know. But I can’t go back there. I’m sure he never wants to see me again and rightly so. I was selfish and foolish and I should have opened my fucking mouth.

“Dad. What’s wrong?” Bulla asks carefully. Taking a seat across from me, she looks sympathetic. I immediately cover it up.

“Is there something you need, girl?”

“Come now, Dad, I’ve seen the way you’ve been sulking----

“I am not sulking! Don’t you have somewhere to be? Like searching for clothes with your annoying friends?” Her face scrunches up in aggravation. I’ve hurt her again.

“You know what? Just don’t even bother telling me. I don’t give a shit what’s wrong with you!” She storms out the house and I can see the angry tears in her eyes. I’ve done it again. Without even trying. It’s the way I am that nobody can stand, least of all him. I hurt the ones I care about, without even making the effort to try.

The kitchen table is being turned to splinters. My fists rain down on the expensive wood, and I don’t care that I’m losing it. I don’t care about much of anything but him. Nobody is home to bother me about the mess I’ve made, so I continue to make a bigger mess, sweeping everything that can move off of any flat surface.


I have never been good at holding my anger back, and destroying things have always been my way to vent. For the first time in more than a decade, I want to go out and kill several humans. Nothing would feel better right now than blasting a few unlucky bastards just to sate my rage. Kakarot would kill me. Then I wouldn’t have a chance in hell.

I must have him, someway, some damn how. I just hope I’m ready to be willing to change, because if that is what he wants then that is what I will do.

******************
He isn’t home. I suppose I’m disappointed. But I gathered up too much courage to just turn away and go home now. I’ll wait.

Three hours later he returns with a satisfied smile on his face. He sees me and the smile disappears, replaced by a deep frown.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He walks past me, and leans over, trying not to touch me and opens his door.

At first, I can’t say anything because my tongue dries up in my mouth and nothing comes out. He waits by the door for all of two seconds before slamming it shut in my face.

That didn’t go well.

I won’t knock. I won’t!

I take a deep breath and scream, “KAKAROT, GET OUT HERE, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of my voice.

The door swings open fast and my scream changes in pitch when he slams his fist right between my eyes.

My head twists back so hard, I suffer an unpleasant case of whiplash. My vision goes dark and unconsciousness threatens to steal the force of blood flow to my veins but I manage to turn fast enough to land on my knees in the dirt. When my vision returns after some time, the first thing I do is glare up at him.

He glares down at me, and walks back into his house, just about throwing the door off its hinges.

That hurt. Everything hurts. My feelings. My pride. My fucking face. Damn him. He didn’t have to hit me, and so damn hard. The fighting instinct inside of me tells me to blast his door down and rearrange his face but that isn’t what I came here for. I know why he hit me, I deserved it. But damn it all to hell did it hurt.

I’ve hurt him, I know I have. And I must pay. I just wish the punishment hurt a little less.

I suppose a knock will have to suffice for now, or I may very well meet my end at the one I’m trying so damn hard to make understand. I did not come here to die. But then again, I did not come here to be rejected either, and there is a high probability of that.

Sighing, I raise my hand to knock but the door opens again. He doesn’t look any more calm than he did before.

“Is there something you need?” He sneers in disgust; I almost don’t dare to affirm his question.

“Yes.”

“I don’t like games, Vegeta.”

I don’t either. I also did not come here to play. “That is not why I’m here.”

“Again, before my patience runs out, what do you want Vegeta?” He is clearly annoyed but I take it to be a better reaction than I could have hoped for. After all, it could have been far worse.

“I…can I come in?”

“I don’t think so. We can talk here.”

I bite my lip, hard. I don’t know what to say. I can’t just let that bag of garbage leave my face without somehow pacing myself through this.

He stands a safe distance away from me, his nearly 6’ frame towering over my own 5’6’’. I gulp, like a scared human and swipe my hand through my upswept hair. He waits impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground and sighing. I urge my mind to supply my mouth with words to say lest he leave again and refuses to even speak to me.

“Kakarot I….I’m not….I’m not good at this.”

He crosses his arms purposefully, as if mocking me; making me feel small and nervous. He knows I do. He wants to see me squirm. And I do squirm. Damn near squirm out of my waxen boots. And this isn’t me. I am not like this, under any circumstance, not even fear.

But this man, with his smoldering gaze of what I would swear was resentment, has reduced me to a quivering mass of nervous energy, and I want more than anything to turn away from his gaze and leave. Again.

“I’m usually good at waiting, but I’m not waiting for you any longer.” He turns and heads for his house and my eyes widen. I can’t help it. I step forward and squeeze my eyes shut.

“Damn it Kakarot I….please!” I plead. At the insistent desperation in my voice, he turns one more time and shakes his head sadly.

“There is nothing I can do for you, Vegeta. I will not become your punching bag, or someone you think you can belittle and hurt with your mean words and careless attitude. I won’t give you the satisfaction again. I will not sacrifice my pride to boost your own oversized ego. Even at your pathetic pleading to let you in to hurt me again, I can do nothing for you, because I won’t give in this time. Not this time. So turn around, Vegeta. Turn, and go, and don’t ever come back.” He closes his door with more ease and leaves me on my knees shaking with rage and shock. He didn’t even give me a chance!

*You didn’t give him a chance. What makes you think you deserve it more?*

Shut up! The voice in my head doesn’t back down.

*That’s why no one can stand you now. Do you think you’re better? Prince?

I will not….

*You didn’t listen to me. You pushed him away. You can only push too hard…*

I don’t need you to---

*Try again.*

He does not understand.

*He’s been waiting. Haven’t you heard? Weren’t you listening? Why don’t you find out what he’s been waiting for.*

I do not feel inclined to go any farther, but the voice in my head is controlling the movement of my feet to his door. From what I remember, without a lock on his door, living in the middle of the woods, I can walk in at any one moment. I push open the wooden obstacle standing between me and the one I want.

He is nowhere in sight. But I know he’s here, I can feel him. I follow his Ki to his bedroom, apprehensively sidling up against the wall and leaning over to look inside. He is sitting on his bed, staring at a photo of he and his late wife, grimacing and turning it over to read something on the back. My sane mind screams for me to leave. He doesn’t want me, he never could. Not when he can’t forget about her.

Who was I kidding thinking I even had a remote possibility of getting him to listen and understanding? All of this indecision to come here at all, and I come to find that he isn’t even thinking about me.

I was wrong. I’m always wrong.

He can’t need me the way I need him. I was wrong in thinking that I had a chance, in thinking that maybe I could bring him out of his lonely stupor and give him something he needed. I have nothing! How can I attempt to offer something I don’t even know I have? I love him, I know this, but how can I give him what he needs? I am a fool. He was right. There is nothing he can do for me. And there is nothing I can do for him.

I silently walk away. I know he knows I’m here already, waiting for me to come out and say what he already predicts to be something selfish.

But I do what he says. I turn. And I go. And I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to ever come back.


TO BE CONTINUED….. (I promise)

Ahhh….I know that took a long time and most of you aren’t even interested in this story anymore. But for those of you who have never read this and are, please review. I know it’s not long, but this fic is not going to take off for some time. So give me a while to formulate a ideas and put them together. If you know me by now, it always takes a while for me to update, but I won’t abandon this story, and I have not truly abandoned the others. Anyway, I think this chapter came out pretty good and I like where it may be going. Thanks to all that even bothered to review, it does mean a lot even though I didn’t get back to it as quickly as you would have liked. I’m busier than you know, and I get to my stories when I can, but I’ve noticed that people's expectations of fanfiction has somewhat changed over the years and I’m just trying to keep up with the times. ^.^