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Caress Me Down	By : animegher Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 9910 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist and characters belong to Arakawa Hiromu and Square Enix� cough, now the warning about gay sex kicks in full.
He was hot.

He was tired.

He was bored out of mind.

Edward absolutely hated having to come back to Eastern Military Headquarters during the summer. Hanging around military headquarters all day wasn�t pleasant at all in this heat, over-muscled, sweaty guys still running training exercises made twice as more disgusting by the sweltering waves heat coming up from the pavement. Even worse, Ed always had to keep his jacket on in order to hide his auto-mail. If they were on the road, far away from any government personnel, Edward would at least strip down to his tank top. Instead, he was stuck in being covered from neck to toe as usual. Even his hand was starting to sweat underneath the glove; the only coolness coming from his auto-mail which was responsible for this all. It made walking around impossible. He was unable to do anything more than melt down the chair he was sprawled in and weakly wave a fan against his face. He�d much rather be investigating another dead-end lead to the Philosopher�s Stone than suffer through this weather any longer.

"Alphonse, what time is it?" Edward moaned out, vaguely nauseated and long since having sweat himself completely dry.

"Brother, it�s only been five minutes since you last asked. If you�re so bored, why don�t we go do something?" Alphonse could whine better than he could when he wanted to. No doubt he was beginning to get bored as well. He wasn�t even the military, and didn�t have a reason to be there other than he always liked to be around Ed. He was thankful to have such a good brother, because Edward could always be stuck out here alone in the heat. Alphonse at least kept him company, and had even picked a discarded but in good shape fan from the ground and given it to Edward to use. He had to admit he hadn�t put the thing down since, even though he barely had the strength to work it. He could only pant like a dog, sick and tired of waiting around for Roy Mustang to give him the time of day. Arrogant jerk.

It was times like these he could find himself jealous of his little brother�s body, or lack of one. Alphonse felt no discomfort whatsoever, even though the leather straps on his armor were audibly sizzling as they cooked between the metal plates. Alphonse would just soak up every bit of sun and turn into one monster-sized frying pan, too heavy to safely sit on the porch for too long without breaking the floorboards. One bird had already made the mistake of trying to land on Alphonse while he stood just outside the shade and ended up flying away in a squawking mess with scorched feet and talons. Edward didn�t dare move from the meager shade offered by the front porch of Roy Mustang�s new office building. Of course a Lieutenant Colonel couldn�t afford to put a waiting room inside, though he had a relatively large-sized family home as a base of command. Ed was sure he hadn�t even bothered with the matching set of chairs and coffee tables, but Hawkeye had set them up for the rest of the sorry bastards stuck underneath Mustang�s authority. Roy hadn�t even thought to mention that he�d been demoted to Lieutenant Colonel during the few phone calls Edward made to report in while he traveled; waiting until Ed had to ask for directions like some lost son who couldn�t quite figure out where his father worked. Edward was already pissed enough about being ordered back to Central when he had been making some miniscule progress in finding out more about the Philosopher�s Stones; but the smug ass had to sit there at a new desk, in a much more elegant room, with even more medals glinting on his breast pocket. And Edward had thought the man had gone down in rank.

Needless to say, the first time he spoke face to face with Mustang was filled with screaming and cursing until he�d been dismissed coldly. It wouldn�t seem like punishment to anyone who didn�t know better, but now Edward had to wait around all day long until the Lieutenant Colonel finally had time to see him. He was damn sure that Mustang was doing his best to actually work for once, and was probably going to end up avoiding their meeting until the handsome bastard left for home after a hard day�s work. What he didn�t know was that Edward was using all this time to think up something delightfully horrible to pay him back for this. Edward hated the heat.

"I can�t stand this anymore! I�ve gotta go take a piss," Edward announced angrily at last, snapping the fan shut and shoving it into his front pocket. He would have much preferred to toss the thing away completely, but knew he�d end up regretting it rather quickly. Damn the sun and the cloudless sky, not a chance of the weather changing for the next couple of weeks. Ed wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

"If you have to go to the bathroom, that�s fine; but, do you have to say it like that?" Alphonse chided him, never one for foul language.

"Damn straight I do. It gets the fucking point across," Edward couldn�t help teasing Al, rather used to playing the bully with his painfully sweet and polite little brother. He was sure that if Alphonse had a face, it would be frowning right now. He might have even stuck his tongue out at him. As it was, his little brother�s temporary body sizzled angrily at him, sunlight glinting off his armor and blinding Ed. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Alphonse was several years younger than him but acted so responsibly on top of being several feet taller. Not that Edward was jealous of his height; which was made blatantly apparent every time someone assumed that Alphonse was the older brother or the real Full Metal Alchemist. Just what did size have to do with age? That shriveled up old hag Pinako was shorter than he was, and she was long since past double digits for her birthdays. If he got one more line from Mustang about being so small that he�d just been accidentally looked over, he was really going to kill the man.

"Will you just go already? Or do you want me to come along and watch?" Alphonse cut off his very serious grumbling with this superior tone in his voice that made Edward want to smack him one. If only it wouldn�t hurt his hand more than it would Alphonse. The heat could still make his little brother unpleasant, even if he didn�t have a body. Edward ended up being the one making a face at Alphonse, who returned with a heavy and put-upon sigh that just ended up being so much more mature. Edward was painfully aware of the fact he was stomping as he tromped back inside the building, but it was already too late to try and redo his exit. At least now he was inside, where there was blessed air-conditioning. Immediately Edward let out a cry of relief, picking up his jacket and flapping out the hot air trapped between his clothes as he walked through the hallway.

This time the walls were a nice, plain cream and bare of those horrible military portraits that Mustang seemed to have a penchant for. Edward had a sneaking suspicion that was just because the man hadn�t had the time to hang them yet. There was endless red carpet covering all the floors, as if visitors weren�t already aware of the fact they were coming in to meet the Flame Alchemist. Edward avoided the large and polished wood stairs that led up to Mustang�s office, even though he would have liked to go up there and demand to know just what the hell was taking so long. After nearly three whole months of being allowed to search for the Philosopher�s Stone in any place with any methods he pleased, Edward thought Mustang had finally realized what a genius he was and was beginning to treat him as such. Instead, he got a short and curt telegram at the train station ordering him to report in person out in East City; and when he finally got there, he was ignored like a child that was being punished. Edward had promised to give the Lieutenant Colonel until five o�clock to finally call him back in and apologize- but one second after that, he was going to punch Mustang right in the nose. Then, Ed would really be able to savor the moment and nobody would be able to argue with him. It was just rude to leave a State Alchemist waiting around all day, especially one of his status.

Edward found the bathroom without any problems, the sign on the door directing him into the building�s male facilities. It reeked of a strong cleanser, the tiles, urinals, and sinks by no means new but ruthlessly cleaned until it would seem so. There was a large metal grate over the long mirror above the sinks, and Edward eagerly ran to stand directly in front of the flow, arms spread out wide to catch all that he could. He forgot that he was still supposed to be pissed off, appreciating the cool air so much more when he knew what awaited him when he went back outside. Ed stood there for so long that he eventually became cold again, sneezing in the middle of a desert city as he finally caught a chill with goosebumps breaking out on his arms. Comfortable at last, Edward finally turned around to one of the empty urinals and got about his business.

He had to remove a glove, stripping off the left with his teeth and holding it in his mouth while he undid his zipper with his auto-mail. Edward had learned how to take a leak one-handed long ago, finding the metal of his own artificial hand too foreign and awkward to use on the most intimate body part still left to him. He pulled his dick out with his real hand, adjusting his feet before breathing out heavily through his nose as he emptied his bladder. Edward closed his eyes in relief, not really thinking about anything as the sound of his own piss filled up the bathroom.

"Oh, Full Metal. You�re still around?" came the most abhorrent, scornful and conceited voice possible. It was too awful to be real; Edward slowly twisted his neck around to see Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang leaving one of the few private stalls on the opposite wall. He was pulling his belt through the loop and fastening it tight, surprisingly casual in the bathroom before the heavy military uniform dropped back down to cover his waist. Edward tried to snap out something smart about being made to wait for so long, but only made a squeaking noise as he discovered he had forgotten to breathe somewhere along the line, teeth digging in hard to the glove as he panicked. Edward felt blood rushing to his face, a blush coming in no matter how hard he fought, even his ears beginning to burn as he snapped his head back down. There wasn�t even a good reason why he should suddenly be so embarrassed, but Edward wanted to just get the hell out of here. He was trapped though, unable to give in to the instinct to just run away as long as he was still peeing.

He heard Mustang walking closer, felt the man�s overbearing presence stabbing into his shoulder blades as he silently screamed at his bladder to finish up. He had wanted to get Mustang alone so he could really beat his superior officer up good, but not under these circumstances. What was he supposed to do while he was caught with his fly down? It just wasn�t fair that the Lieutenant Colonel always found him in the most humiliating situation possible! Edward was never able to look the man in the face without recalling the time he�d been trapped underneath two strangers, crying, scared to death of what he now was old enough to know could have happened. He had nearly been raped before Roy had walked in. Those few minutes had been enough to give him nightmares for years afterward, even if it seemed like he�d gotten off lucky. It had taken Edward a long time to understand why Mustang had gotten so angry and killed those men without a single word, but after reading the old reports about the Ishibal Civil Conflict had informed him about a few things that he would have rather never known. The cold, emotionless recounts of an entire nation being slaughtered by an enemy that had a greater fighting capacity. Mustang�s name had popped up a few times during some of the most terrible and violent combats, noted for excellence in battle and strategic judgement. It was odd to have to read about the man and the success he had during his younger years in the military. He�d still been over a decade older than Edward was now, and his age had doubled since. The Lieutenant Colonel wasn�t a particularly old man, but when Edward wound up comparing himself to Mustang like usual there was a pretty large gap between them. It only seemed to be getting further as Mustang kept climbing up in rank, still able to order him around no matter how much fame he gathered as a State Alchemist.

By some small miracle, Edward finished at last, shaking himself out with violent desperation before Mustang walked around to the sinks where he�d be able to see everything. He went to zip his pants up and felt a warm, solid weight press up against his back. A chill went down Edward�s spine as Mustang hunched over his shoulder to peek down at his groin. He mouth dropped open in shock at the invasion of personal space, the glove falling quietly before Mustang caught it with a shrewd hand and shoved it into Edward�s own jacket pocket,

"Well, it�s good to know you�re not small everywhere," drawled out a smug, warm mouth against the outer curve of Edward�s ear, his lips brushing against skin every so often. Edward hadn�t even known he was ticklish there before now. Nobody had ever dared to get this close!

"Ju- just where do you think you�re looking?" Edward had trouble controlling his voice, from keeping his hands from snapping over his groin like some virgin who actually had something to be upset about. He just jerked his head around, getting some satisfaction when his braid hit Roy across the chest. He couldn�t really punch his superior officer, but at least he was managing to hit him in some form.

"Right here," Roy answered without any hesitation, his hand dipping down further to confidently brush Edward�s aside and seize up his exposed genitals in one loose fist. His fingers were warm and soft, not the rough and callused things Edward would have suspected from the Flame Alchemist. He gasped as his brain seemed to short-circuit at the touch, so many reactions wanting to happen that he simply overloaded. He should either be running away or kicking the Lieutenant Colonel where it would count, but instead he just went horribly still while the taller man pressed up against him. It was like he was frozen to the spot, even though Roy was much too warm and heavy against him. Edward could have easily broken free, if he could just make his body actually move instead of starting to tremble. He wanted so badly to say that it was because of fear, but that wasn�t what was making his stomach clench up and try to crawl out his throat. There was simply no fucking way that he held any sort of respect or . . . or something else . . . for the smug bastard who liked to switch between berating him down in front of other officers, playing hero that expected to be paid for his efforts, and on rare occasions was quiet and perceptive when Edward needed to talk to another Alchemist about the taboo of Human Transmutation. He could never predict the Lieutenant Colonel, who flip-flopped between a decent human being and a complete asshole, just like now.

"Have you even tried touching yourself yet?" Mustang asked curiously, his voice so undeniably rich and deep that Edward just wanted him to shut up. Why would he have to start a conversation when he was beginning to lightly run his fingers around Edward�s length, squeezing and twisting with a bizarre delicateness? He wasn�t some blushing, inexperienced fool when it came to shit like this! Edward had been kissed a few times, though they had all been from women or Winry, who was so much like a sister that it couldn�t really count. He had even tried masturbating before, usually a shameful and quiet moment in the bathroom while Alphonse studied or went outside to train, because sometimes there just was no other way to relieve the stress. Some nights he was so tired that all he wanted to do was sleep, but his mind refused to give up as it grappled with the theories and arrays he�d memorized earlier. Just go into the bathroom and run his real fingers over wrinkled and responsive skin, stroke the spots that were more receptive than others, jerk off into the toilet, use some tissue to clean everything up, and flush it away like nothing had happened.

It was an entirely different thing when it wasn�t his own hand.

"You think . . . I�m some kind of virgin?" And he was. It was just that Roy didn�t need to know that, since the smug bastard was sure to tease him about it. Edward proud of managing to get out one sentence in this state of affairs. His auto-mail found Mustang�s arm and gears tightened up with enough force to bruise soft, malleable human flesh. It didn�t seem to bother Mustang in the slightest, who just flicked his thumb hard across the hypersensitive opening at the tip. Edward�s thighs clenched together beyond his control, hissing out a nearly pained breath as he began to feel the blood rush to his groin. He didn�t know how to fight against something that could feel so good. He should be offended, should be yelling at the perverted Lieutenant to back the hell off, not throwing his head back at the sensations rushing through him. Edward bit his tongue to stay silent, determined not to give Mustang the satisfaction of making him moan.

That pledge was washed away just as quickly as it had been made in a haze of white when Roy�s other hand slipped around to cup his balls. Edward was distantly aware of the one hand being slightly cooler than the other was but doing just as fabulous things. His lungs forced air out in a strange way, noisy and wanton no matter what kind of reasonable thought he tried to muster together. How was he supposed to stay together when Mustang was completely draped over his backside and playing around in the front? Edward could only grip Mustang�s arm harder, not sure if it was to stop the man or keep him from backing up. The Lieutenant Colonel knew exactly what he was doing when it came to the intimate play, nothing but a warm support as Edward went slack and unsteady at his ministrations. He was old enough to know what he wanted, and the trembling rush of pleasure developing between his legs only seeming to develop into something more powerful. Flesh leapt to life inside Roy�s expert hands; Edward suddenly able to sympathize with all the other women that Mustang had reputedly been a brief companion too . . .

Edward�s eyes snapped open at that thought, realizing just how many other lovers Roy had- probably was involved with right now! Was he supposed to be able to compare to that that somehow? He hadn�t even had sex yet, with neither a girl nor man, be him a commanding officer or not. Roy Mustang hadn�t shown this sort of interest in him before! Why would he show such a sudden change in attitude? Edward didn�t have anything special to offer, other than his natural genius at alchemy. He had never had time for a relationship before, wasn�t sure how they were supposed to go, and he was more than certain that Mustang didn�t have a clue either. For the Lieutenant Colonel to be in a long-term relationship would truly signal the end of the world. Was Edward supposed to be any different just because he worked with the man?

"Get off me!" Edward demanded, ignoring the throbbing heat that the Flame Alchemist had managed to create out of his own dick . . . There was no denying that it was a full-fledged erection now, hard and bobbing in between Roy�s hand.

"I don�t want to. Just be a good boy, Edward," he ordered softly in a way that shouldn�t have been so convincing. Mustang never used his first name. It was always �Full Metal� or �that loud-mouthed shrimp.� It was shocking enough to shut Edward up while Roy awkwardly leaned in and planted a kiss on top of his wide-open mouth. It should have been awful, just because it was from behind and that had to be a bad direction. Mustang shouldn�t have been so good at pressing his lips down firmly, pliant flesh able to be so hard and demanding at his will. Edward would have melted down into the floor if the Lieutenant Colonel weren�t holding him up with a solid arm around his waist. The other hand was continuing to pump Edward�s heated erection, fingers tracing along veins and kneading into his testicles. His hips were starting to move forward rhythmically against his will, pulled forward by Mustang�s administrations. Edward growled up into Roy�s mouth as it lingered over his own, tears of frustration forming at the corner of his eyes. This shouldn�t have felt so damn good!

Roy said his name . . . or at least something that sounded like it. All it took was one heavy syllable from the man to have Edward coming explosively against the smooth tile of the urinal with his own cry. The orgasm took over his whole body, his hand and leg still jerking even as Edward slowly regained control of his faculties. The only reason he was remaining on his feet was because his auto-mail knee had locked up.

A heavy sigh as Edward settled back into himself, alone and slightly mortified at where his own fantasy had taken him. There was just absolutely no reason for him to like Roy Mustang in the slightest.

It was illogical, unexplainable, was just plain wrong.

He shouldn�t feel this way about a man, not one so much older and completely out of his league. Edward wouldn�t have a fighting chance . . . if he even cared enough to try. The Lieutenant Colonel could continue to sleep with numerous women and a few sickeningly pretty men and die of some nauseating disease for all Edward cared. The bastard deserved it for always treating him so coldly- so why the fuck couldn�t he stop thinking about him?! It was this fucking weather, that had to be it. Edward�s brains were boiling inside his skull from being forced to stand outside for so long. He should be dreaming about beautiful, mysterious women like Psiren, not that egotistical bastard with his damned wit and sarcasm.

"Whoa, unbelievable! I�d hate to see someone on the receiving end of that! You might kill a girl . . ." broke in yet another unexpected voice. Hughes was standing there with both hands on his hips, the door still swinging open from his entrance, glancing between the sperm beginning to drip down and Edward�s own softening penis like the overbearing and proud father he was. Maes was grinning far too widely underneath his glasses, looking down at Edward from the greater height that he just didn�t deserve. The blush Edward had dreamed about giving to Roy came back in full, gasping as he realized he was still standing there like an idiot. Hughes chuckled at his flustered inability to do a damned thing, too embarrassed to even think properly.

". . . or a Lieutenant Colonel?" Maes asked with a leering smile that made Edward see red.

.

.

.

Alphonse didn�t know why Edward always had to be such a pain. He was supposed to be the older brother and set a good example, but it almost always came out the complete opposite. He had thought that becoming a State Alchemist would make Edward grow up a little bit, but Alphonse should have known better than to hold such childish thoughts. His brother was a hopeless mess when it came to anything outside of alchemy. Edward was no better than any other street punk, his use of profanity was terrible, he didn�t have the slightest bit of common courtesy or manners, tended to break refined pieces of art instead of admire them, and always talked too loud in front of other people. It didn�t matter what Alphonse said, because his older brother had stopped listening to him long ago. Edward had always been the one in charge, and it didn�t matter how many years passed since Mother first died. Alphonse would always be the crybaby that had become scared of the dark along with everything else in the world in the days following her funeral. Edward had to replace her, petting Alphonse�s hair with chubby hands and awkwardly attempting the same lullabies Mother had sung to them in a such a horrible voice that Alphonse couldn�t help but start laughing. But, those times had been very long ago, and the memories growing more and more distant as time passed.

Alphonse guessed it was because there was no way to tell that he was getting older. He didn�t have a body that was maturing; his voice didn�t go through an awful period of squeaky change to something deeper like Edward�s had. The only thing that showed his age was the scratches, knicks, and dents he had collected across the once smooth and polished steel of his armor. Alphonse put his gloved fingers against the surface of his breastplate, feeling nothing even though he saw heat waves radiating off the metal. Edward didn�t like to get close to him when they got stuck out in hot weather like the kind currently scorching East City.

The door to the looming building slammed open, a man of average height and inescapably handsome features filling up the whole porch immediately with his presence. The Co . . . Lieutenant Colonel, Alphonse corrected him about the change in rank that had happened while they were out travelling, was a man that demanded attention no matter what anyone might desire otherwise. Alphonse noted with disappointment that he was alone, Lieutenant Hawkeye missing from her usual spot behind him. She was really the only thing that made Mustang bearable, constantly apologizing and cleaning up after the mess the Lieutenant Colonel left behind. Alphonse could easily sympathize with her, always forced to be polite enough to cover for his brother�s antics. Edward seemed to honestly believe there was nothing wrong in ignoring other people, tricking or lying to them. Alphonse had his hands full just making sure Edward didn�t make anyone else angry.

"Alphonse. Where�s Full Metal?" demanded Roy Mustang, his question able to cut right through him, even though Alphonse didn�t even have a body. He looked irritated, but that was usual for the stern officer. Alphonse had his own belief that the man had simply forgotten how to smile and didn�t care to relearn. He had no idea why Edward would be placed underneath this man�s command when Mustang was already such a troublemaker himself. Put the two of them together and they constantly butted heads, like they were always stuck in a battle to see who could do the worst. There was nothing he could say to get his older brother to behave with a little more composure around the Lieutenant Colonel; he had it hard enough just standing outside with a complaining Edward waiting for Mustang to finally show up.

"You didn�t see him inside? He just went to- . . . uh . . ." Alphonse trailed off as he realized that Mustang might not want to hear this. Edward probably wouldn�t want him talking about his older brother�s bodily functions either, not in front of the Lieutenant Colonel at least. Edward could be so touchy when it came to Mustang, though Alphonse personally didn�t see why. Edward would constantly yell out how much he hated that �stupid son of a bitch,� which was the nicest way Alphonse had ever heard Edward refer to the man, and yet was incredibly concerned with the Lieutenant Colonel�s opinion of him. When Edward didn�t like people, he usually avoided them or started outright fights- not hang around for the better half of a day just waiting for the man to make room in his schedule for them at last. Alphonse personally thought it was rude and they should have left hours ago, instead of leaving him to get stuck alone with Mustang. The timing was so horrible that it went to show how alike the two were.

"Well?" Mustang snapped impatiently, never giving Alphonse long enough to speak before he was already interrupting. He was tapping a finger on his arm, as if he was keeping count of just how much of his time Alphonse was wasting. He forgot whatever he had been trying to explain, left there stammering and shifting about, sure that he was only making Edward look bad by association. He was the little brother after all, and Edward was supposed to be a State Alchemist. They all had important roles to play, even the villain as Roy Mustang began to audibly growl in frustration.

Oddly so, there was a slight hush throughout the base, like a storm gathering . . .

A section of the wall glowed briefly with the light of an alchemy reaction before it promptly exploded outward. Smoldering and shattered bits of woodwork along with thick smoke went flying through the air that was blowing hard with the force of the blast. Something human sized came shooting out and rolled far away on the road, the spreading debris too thick to see through. Roy and Alphonse both gaped at the sudden damage, the Flame Alchemist�s jaw dropping open while Alphonse creaked nervously. He had a terrible suspicion he knew exactly who had caused this as the hole in first floor wall grew bigger while the body finally came to a stop. Alphonse could make out Maes Hughes, half-flattened against the pavement, scorched and still smoking with his legs and arms in awkward tangles that must surely be broken.

"You better not be alive after that, YOU FUCKING SPY!"

Alphonse moaned at Edward�s familiar voice crying out so loudly that Winry must have heard it all the way back in Rizenbul. The short figure stomping out from the new opening in the building contrasted sharply with all the wanton destruction he had caused. Edward was obviously pissed off, his braid bristling like a cat�s tail as waved a fist at Hughes threateningly. There was no motion from the man, and Edward stomped off without another glance, kicking up even more dirt in his wake. Alphonse relaxed a bit now that his brother was at least walking away from whatever fight he had picked this time, even though Mustang looked ready to chase Edward down and was desperately trying not to. It would probably just be better if they all pretended this had never happened.

A support beam fell out heavily from the wall, no longer able to hang on as more plaster and wires came crashing down. There was frightened yelling as a secretary behind her desk saw the side of building go to show the inside of her office. Mustang was too overwhelmed at the Full Metal Alchemist�s antics to say anything as Alphonse chased off after his brother to find out just what had happened.

"Oh, Roy, have I got something to tell you," Hughes sang out in a happy voice, waving one functioning hand to signal that he had survived the explosion when Edward was a safe enough distant away. Roy was still stuck there with his jaw clenching spasmodically as he tried to think of words that would cover this. More people were coming, drawn by the noise and smoke beginning to rise up, some of them his own men discovering half of their very clean and spacious new facilities had been transmutated into a massive detonation. Edward�s temper was just as short as he was, and they all ended up having to pay the price for it.

"Carry me to a doctor and I�ll share!" Hughes bartered with him, like Roy would actually be interested in whatever had caused this latest scene. He didn�t know why he had ended up with a friend like Maes, or a subordinate like Edward Elric. Roy didn�t need Full Metal going around, showing off his violent and powerful abilities in the middle of a military base. He was going to catch someone�s eye sooner or later, and the boy didn�t listen to him well enough for Roy to protect him.

"I�m going to kill that brat," Roy finally managed out through his teeth, making useless fists as he did his best to remain calm. There was already a relative crowd gathering around, a whole squadron of men in the middle of running exercises pausing to gape at the damage. He could already hear Edward�s name going through the people coughing on the smoke and dust that had come inside of the building.

"Why don�t we just hold off on that for now? How about I just medicate myself and we go get something to drink?" Hughes asked as he picked himself up into a sitting position, brushing off his uniform and fixing a pair of now-broken glasses. His face had a few scrapes on it and there would be bruises tomorrow no doubt, but Hughes was remarkably unharmed after the Full Metal Alchemist had attacked him head on. Roy could understand the need for drink, having recently come into the habit of keeping a bottle of whiskey underneath his desk in case of such emergencies. Edward Elric was going to put him in an early grave; he could just feel it. Even so, Roy frowned at the idea since it was still the middle of the afternoon and it seemed like he had been drinking an awful lot more than usual lately. Edward had also been destroying more military property since coming back. Today was just getting longer and longer.

" . . .And I�ll pay," Hughes sighed out after a moment�s pause, knowing Roy so well that it impressed him from time to time. Maes may usually act the idiot, but Intelligence didn�t hire loudmouthed family men without good reason. Nobody suspected Hughes of anything when he was flashing around pictures of his daughter, or thought that the hopelessly lame joker could possess any sort of insight or sharp wit. He was thankful that Hughes was still on his side,

"Well, let�s go. Do you need some help walking?" Roy was immediately nothing but friendly concern as he offered a hand for Hughes to climb up on.

.

.

.

Edward walked for a quite a while, straight through the gates at the entrance and the hell away from the military. He was too angry to even see where he was going, marching forward on instinct alone. People were smart enough to avoid him when he was wearing such a fierce expression, forced to move around in this heat and start sweating again. He already had enough of East City, wanted to get the fuck out of here! He would have to kill Hughes before he left though; it was too late to go back and make sure he really had done the job right after the scene he�d made. Just thinking about it made his ears burn, remembering how Hughes had leaned in and shattered the fantasy Edward hadn�t even meant to have. It was so embarrassing the only choice he had was to kill the witness. Roy was going to be forced to make time for him now, even if it was just to yell at him for this latest bout of destruction.

He hated that snide Lieutenant Colonel. He really did.

"Brother!" Alphonse�s cry was barely heard over the increasingly loud racket of an empty suit of armor running to catch up with him. Ed stopped in his tracks, waiting in sullen silence for Al to catch up before continuing on the same manner down the sidewalk. Alphonse knew better than to try talking to him when he got into one of these moods, but just followed in a concerned hover as Edward went to the closest safe haven he knew of.

Ironically enough, there was a large, public park nearby the military base, full of gigantic, ancient trees and well-tended gardens as if to hide the fact guerrilla exercises were held on the field behind it. Just getting off the sidewalk and onto the fine gravel that paved many intimate and hidden paths through the park as well as a main walk was change enough. At least there was plenty of shade here; and more importantly, a small food stand nestled into the subtle curving of the gentle hills that had been left untouched, unlike the leveled ground of East City. There were tables and benches scattered about a porch for sitting, chairs pulled together for a large gathering that had left long ago, and Alphonse left to go find the one bench that actually supported his weight. He was familiar with the place as well, and was used to the drill. Edward went straight to the counter underneath a wooden veranda for the rare days when it actually rained in this part of the country, his foul state of mind almost completely forgotten as he walked into the range of the large fan cooling the area around the register. His happy sighing alerted the owner to her new customer, glancing up with welcoming eyes.

"Well, if it isn�t Full Metal! Haven�t seen you around lately, but I�ve heard plenty," called out an elderly woman who seemed just as old as this place, wrinkled and hunched over an open magazine on the countertop. Edward hadn�t asked her age, but she reminded him of Aunt Pinako in a way. She had worked here since the first day Edward had come to East City and discovered this secret hideout. The military tended to avoid this park, since it was so close to the base after all- and most of the officers preferred the numerous bars lining the streets. This old woman would probably actually get some business if she started selling beer, but Edward appreciated the fact that she didn�t. He wouldn�t get bothered in a place like this, except by Alphonse.

"I�m sure it�s all been good, too," Edward had to strain to make his voice sound friendly. He really did need to go back and kill Hughes before the man did something stupid. Like tell someone. It was embarrassing enough that the man had found him jerking off in the middle of the bathroom like some horny teen that just couldn�t wait a moment longer. At least Edward was sure he hadn�t been making any inappropriate noises, always sure to bite down on his own tongue in habit, just like how he kept Alphonse from hearing him any other time. Hughes liked to embellishing things though, that dirty, rotten liar. It was no wonder him and Lieutenant Colonel Mustangs were such good friends.

"I know you�ve been keeping rather busy. I should start advertising that the Elric brothers like my shop," she laughed, finally closing up her magazine to really look at him over a thick set of glasses. They weren�t on a first name basis, but she recognized his face and the generous tips he always left behind. Edward didn�t have much need for the mind boggling amounts a State Alchemist got paid for every job, unless it was to fund his own research. Material things had always been kept at a minimum, enough to throw into a suitcase and travel around with easily. Alphonse didn�t need to eat or buy new clothes either, the only hassling being that they had to find shelter big enough for both Alphonse and him. He was still waiting around for the satisfaction of the woman commenting on how much he�d grown since his last visit to her shop; hell, even Roy had gotten just a little bit shorter to him. It didn�t really make a difference though, because Ed was still the smallest person walking around on base even including the women.

"I don�t know if that would cause you more trouble or not, grandma," Edward finally warned her at last, worried the old woman might actually be serious. Along with his fame had come enemies. More than Edward could even keep count of, so he just didn�t. Let someone try to take on the Full Metal Alchemist and not learn to regret it. It was a different thing for some quiet lady that was probably planning to die in this dusty old shop. Edward didn�t want to see her get hassled by some punks who wanted to send him a message.

"You�re right, I wouldn�t want some mangy military dogs messing up the place. You�re a nice enough pup, though."

Edward gritted his teeth to keep from jumping over the counter and throttling the old woman. She had managed to insult his age and height in one quick blow, but he eventually let it slide. He wasn�t ready for another verbal wrestling contest after dealing with Roy Mustang once today. Certainly not after Hughes had completely humiliated him in the bathroom. It was too fucking hot to do anything other than smile and order.

Edward didn�t care how childish it might seem to others. There was nobody around to tease him, at least no one that he would care about. On a blistering day like this, nothing was better than an ice cream cone.

"Is . . . Is anything bothering you, brother?" Alphonse asked when Edward finally joined him, falling into an empty chair in front of his brother and kicking his legs up onto the bench beside Al. He knew what his little brother was really asking, too polite and considerate to phrase it any differently. Why did you go fucking nuts back there, you bean-sized idiot? Would Alphonse even be able to understand the explanation Edward gave him? His little brother only had solid steel as a body, hadn�t gone through the same changes as Ed. He didn�t know what it was like to have a damn nuisance like hormones. Edward wished he had been able to restrain himself in the bathroom, but he had been so weary from waiting for stupid Roy Mustang while he slow-roasted on the front porch his brain must have turned off. Yet another foolish, obvious mistake to add to the list.

"Nothing other than the usual," Edward replied at last, taking the first lick of plain vanilla and enjoying the freezing sweetness so much it should be a crime.

"The Lieutenant Colonel?"

Edward started at that, forgetting how damn observant Alphonse could be sometimes. He thought he was be able to blame everything on Hughes, since the annoying bastard had been the one Edward sent flying, but his little brother saw right through that to the heart of matters. Giving up his body had seemed to give Alphonse a better sense about people than Edward, who spent far too much time reading and researching on the Philosopher�s Stone to concern himself with silly things like human interaction. He would get Alphonse�s body back, and he cared little for what he had to do to obtain it.

"I told you before, I don�t want to talk about that asshole," Edward made it an order. They had this conversation before, every single time he got into an argument with the Lieutenant Colonel or got reprimanded for acting on his own. Roy Mustang got under his skin and stayed there, able to irritate him worse than any other. It had become a challenge that Edward couldn�t back down from- determined to one day get the better of that narcissistic and smug Flame Alchemist.

Alphonse went quiet, seeing the futility of trying to reason with Edward. He was thankful that he didn�t have to answer any more questions about Roy Mustang. All he wanted to do was enjoy one single freaking scoop of ice cream in the shade above this deserted and calm shop, but there was no way to relax now that Al had got him thinking about that bastard all over again. He switched the cone to his auto-mail, Winry�s awesome workmanship proven yet again when the machinery didn�t crush it. Edward reached into the inside pocket of his coat with his left hand, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches. He pulled out a stick and set the rest down on the table, putting it between his lips and picking up the matches before pausing as he realized his dilemma.

"Al, would you- . . ."

"Forget it, I�m not helping you smoke," Alphonse immediately refused him without even letting Edward finish his sentence, armor creaking and looking quite menacing as he crossed his arms and glared down at him.

"Come on, it�s been a long day," Edward pleaded, holding up the ice cream for Alphonse to take so he could light a match. It had been hard enough to get a hold of the things in the first place, nobody wanting to sell to a boy that looked a day over twelve, with or without a State Alchemist�s watch. Edward wasn�t a serious smoker by far . . . it was only when he was around Mustang that he got uncontrollable nicotine cravings. When Edward finally broke down and just went crazy from all the stress, they could blame that slave driver of a Lieutenant Colonel.

"It�s the middle of the afternoon, and you�ve done nothing but sit around waiting for Mustang to call your name!" Alphonse snapped back angrily, obviously just as fed up with the waiting as Edward had been. That was still no reason for him to take that sort of tone with his older brother- or accuse him of being some admiring idiot that was hoping to snatch up a bit of attention.

"I am not! He ordered me to stay there," Edward returned bitterly. Like he would have stayed there for so long without a damn good reason! He could care less for Mustang�s commands! Alphonse had scampered along behind him after he stomped out of the military grounds, hadn�t he?! That was clear disobedience, along with the smoking hole he left in the bathroom wall. Al had been there before then too, waiting those long, agonizing hours in the insufferable heat with nothing to do. If it didn�t have to do with the Philosopher�s Stone, their lives were actually quite dull and empty. There was no time to cultivate hobbies and such when they were working so hard at gaining their bodies back.

"Does it really matter if he �orders� you or not?" Alphonse turned it into a question that Edward didn�t want to answer. He didn�t have to explain anything to his little brother when it came to his job. It wasn�t just because his Lieutenant Colonel was a lazy, incurable skirt-chaser that could somehow still manage to be charismatic and composed when the moment called for it. And that awful, biting, and sudden sarcasm! Edward was always left without a return insult, outsmarted and humiliated yet again. Roy practically made a sport out of it, like his workday would be incomplete if he didn�t cause Edward some kind of trouble. Even Alphonse was adding to it now, pushing at what he should just leave alone.

"Fuck, Al, why does it matter so much to you? Are you in love with the bastard or something?" Edward spat out; the scorn in his words enough to strip the polish from Al�s armor. His brother was completely unfazed, not so much as a single twitch throughout that monstrously huge armor.

"Are you?"

"Ye-NO!" Edward corrected himself immediately, expecting something else from Alphonse than that baited question. But, the damage had already been done as Al sat back in clinking satisfaction. His tongue had answered before his brain had caught up, and now that was that.

Alphonse, one.

Edward, zero.

He put the cigarette down on the table for afterwards, forced to finish his ice cream cone first.

.

.

.

" . . . And that�s pretty much all I know," Hughes finished his story and his glass at the same time, leaving Roy to stare forward at the bottles stacked up behind the bar and soak in the information. The ice cubes in his own drink were beginning to melt, clinking as they fell lower . . . just like him. Roy knew that his ambition to become Fuhrer would be hard to fulfill, but he hadn�t expected so many damn nuisances along the way. The military had it�s own twisted sense of politics, with old men stuck in old traditions and old ways of thinking. Roy had made some important friends, but it seemed there were too many enemies around him as well. Roy could imagine this was something like how Edward must feel, chafing underneath the command of his superior officers. A bunch of simple-minded fools, sitting around on their asses and only concerned with getting richer. The military wasn�t supposed to be about reputations and money, it was about protecting the country and making sure wars like the ones Mustang had fought in never happened again.

He was drunk. He either got angry or depressed out of his mind when he passed from a pleasant buzz into inebriation, and tonight was definitely one to be upset on. He had enough troubles of his own maintaining this new position in East City, silently waiting for his chance to strike back. Roy Mustang had a very good memory when it came to those who had slighted him. He was going to climb up in rank, no matter what he had to do, even if he was now barely clinging to a Lieutenant Colonel. It all just meant that his power and ability had been recognized as a serious threat, which was why he had been sent out of Central before he could gain any more allies. Now he was stuck out in East City, in an ill lit bar with one of his few friends.

It was still comfortable enough atmosphere, the distant crack of pool balls coming from the other side of the room. Roy and Hughes had both eagerly shoved off their jackets and hung them on the back of their stools, Roy even unbuttoning his undershirt a slight bit and rolling up his sleeves for some serious drinking. Maes had been generously supplying round after round along with the inside information he had managed to gain in some low-class city like this, providing the company Roy needed to truly relax in. This was just what he needed after getting his office renovated ala Edward Elric, the snot-nosed, smart-assed midget. He hadn�t done anything to deserve that monster child under his command, but he was sure it could always be worse. Imagine the horror of Edward receiving a promotion above him. That was enough for Roy to forcibly turn his brain off and start drinking. Maes even gave him a cigarette, which Roy didn�t even know he had wanted until it was offered. He was so damn lucky to have the man around sometimes.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Hughes asked with a feline smile.

Roy knew immediately he didn�t like whatever thought had gotten inside Hughes� little brain. He had to be careful with his words around him, since Hughes could see deeper to the things that that a man hadn�t meant to reveal. Hughes was someone that could get inside his head and figure out exactly how he worked, if given the chance. Roy personally didn�t like the thought of anyone getting to know him like that, even if it was a good, trusted friend. Roy had learned long ago that such thing truly existed in this world. He was sure that Hughes still had secrets that he would never tell Roy either; they acknowledged and respected the other�s private affairs. All Hughes needed to know is that one day he would be Fuhrer.

"About what?" Roy demanded tiredly, not about to play games. He had agreed to come to this dirty bar that he would like to say he was unfamiliar with only to relax. Cigarette smoke made a nice haze, heightened by the dim lighting and shadowy corners built into the walls. Two men in uniform were definitely out of place in a joint like this, where crime was obviously being conducted. The bartender even had a scar on his face, a charming monster of man as he hulked about behind the counter. Roy and Hughes had made a nice spot on the bar, a bucket of ice to keep the back-up bottle of wine cold and also use for their current drinks. Roy hefted up his own forgotten one from a random pattern of wet rings he had already made on the surface; swirling around the contents and watching them mix before taking a sip.

"Edward," Hughes tossed the name out like a bomb, not even batting an eye while Roy choked and spat back into his glass gracelessly. Why did he always have to bring up the one subject Roy was trying to avoid? He had left with Hughes to forget about his current problems with that foul-mouthed midget who would only yell at him after not seeing the punk for several months. He didn�t have time to deal with a selfish and arrogant little boy, no matter what kind of genius he was. Roy didn�t understand how Edward could have such a foul personality and an extraordinary intelligence at the same time. The blonde had shared his theories and only a brief summary of the huge knowledge he had gained on subjects that all other Alchemists considered taboo and had close-mindedly suppressed all study. Roy had been left wondering just how Edward�s mind operated in order to come up with such terrible and effective ideas. He had drawn out a copy of the array he�d used for his Mother�s Transmutation for Roy, along with a new one with added corrections that he may one day use for his little brother. It had been amazing that a person could even comprehend the forces he was playing around with, much less a child that had yet to even grow facial hair. Edward had burned the copies before leaving, able to be prudent and wise when it came to his own research, but Roy still remembered them. It practically gave him chills just thinking about it.

"I think our little Full Metal Alchemist has fallen in love," Hughes announced secretively, leaning into his shoulder to whisper it to Roy alone. That was enough to make Roy finish off his drink; good, expensive brandy doing little to soften blow. There was no reason why Roy would be concerned with such gossip. He didn�t care what any of his men did on their own free time, from falling in love to losing another girlfriend, as long as they showed up for work on time and did their job. Edward was an exception, not just because he was a State Alchemist, but because he was still a minor running around on a military base and getting into trouble at every chance he got. Roy swore sometimes that Full Metal was doing it just to antagonize him. The loud-mouthed blonde had made quite clear before that he disliked Roy to an extreme. There was no warmth or comradeship between them, and Roy doubted that Edward even gave him the slightest bit of respect due to a superior officer. Child geniuses tended to think highly of themselves, even if they weren�t deserving. He was going to have to teach Edward a lesson one of these days before somebody else did.

"Hah, I feel sorry for the girl that has to deal with his shit. Edward doesn�t even know where to stick it yet," Mustang snapped out, nasty and crude and not even sure why. It had to be the alcohol, which he was already pouring to partake in more of. He didn�t know how else he was going to be able to deal with the rest of the day if he wasn�t smashed out of his head. Did everything have to be about that selfish and short Full Metal? Reports coming in demanding to know how Edward could perform Alchemy without drawing an array- how it could be used for battle with soldiers. Roy was lucky they were still in a tenacious peacetime, or he might have not been able to satisfy them with the explanations he had now. Once Roy had returned papers in significant detail about the necessity to have a near-death experience to acquire such powers, further probes had ceased.

Roy was struck by the odd desire to touch Edward�s auto-mail; just feel it once. He had meet many other soldiers with mechanic limbs, but hadn�t ever been interested in them before. For some reason, Edward had become somewhat special- just what would his day be if Full Metal didn�t destroy something?

He was definitely drunk.

"I don�t know if he wants to stick it anywhere, Roy Mustang," Maes quipped mysteriously, making Roy�s eyes narrow at the use of his full name. Hughes knew something he didn�t, and it obviously involved him in some fashion. Roy hated his guessing game, ready to snatch his crumbling glasses off his nose and finish the job.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded with little patience. Edward had already used it all up today when he blew up a part of Roy�s office! Hughes� grin just widened, setting his glass down and pushing his broken glasses up on his nose as he took a deep breath; preparing to assume a role like some high-class actor.

"Mnn . . . Aah . . . Roy," Hughes made a stunning impression of Edward�s voice in so few words, making inappropriate gestures with both hands. Roy felt himself blush like he hadn�t done in years, staring in horror at Hughes as he made one final, wet pop with his mouth.

He had surely drawn the attention of everyone else in the dingy, smoky bar, Roy left utterly disgusted by the man yet again. Maes looked very satisfied at Roy�s shocked expression, toasting himself quietly. He was still trying to wrap his mind around it. The fact that Edward was a minor bothered him a lot. It just wasn�t right to have a child walking around with blonde hair, gold eyes, and the type of face Roy usually went for. He wasn�t disturbed that they were both males, having seen more than his share of same-sex relationships while being in the military. It was just another way of life, when men got stuck out in the middle of hopeless, desperate situations where they might be shot, bombed, or killed in some spectacular manner with Alchemy, and their loved ones were far away in their home country. Desperate times made fools of them all. If only someone knew just how damn guilty he was of his war medals and commendations . . . but Roy was stuck being alone, unable to risk the liability of having a truly intimate lover. A normal, regular woman that wore skirts instead of military uniforms would also be easily threatened and coerced. He had thought about marrying within the ranks- and quickly came to the conclusion that other government personnel were absolutely, hopelessly jaded and ugly; those that weren�t he respected too much to even think about them in such a manner.

"That little pervert was getting all hot and heavy in bathroom over you. I swear, why do all the pretty ones fall for the idiots?" Maes sighed out sadly, waving out a hand with a wedding band glinting on a finger. Funny that Roy should be the one being called an idiot by Hughes. He had to put a hand to his forehead, thumb digging into his temple at the utter absurdity of this all. He really hadn�t needed to hear that Edward might have some feelings for him. Roy supposed it was only natural for the boy to have some sort of hero-worship toward him. He was the one who had discovered the brat wasting away in Rizenbul, and a few years later had the unique pleasure of enlisting Edward Elric into the military. Maybe Ed was finally realizing all the rule-bending and exceptions he had made for the Full Metal Alchemist; had grown up enough to realize how damn lucky he was that Roy even bothered talking directly to the rude little pup.

"I�m telling you Roy, if you don�t stake claim soon, someone else will."

"I can�t believe you�re actually saying this," he tried to persuade Hughes from explaining any further. Edward was still so young; how could he possibly have a clue to what love was? It could simply be that Roy was the most handsome man on base, so it wasn�t exactly Edward�s fault if he joined the rest of the adoring idiots swooning over the Lieutenant Colonel.

"Take it from a married man. I know a working relationship when I see one. Edward isn�t going moon over you forever if you keep acting oblivious," Maes warned him in dead seriousness, stopping everything to turn around and make full contact with Roy. He was certainly not �oblivious� to anything! If Hughes didn�t think that Roy noticed the lingering, second glances Edward would give him when he thought Roy had already returned to his paper work, the way his braid would sway between his shoulders when the Full Metal Alchemist stomped out of his office yet again, or that Edward didn�t even bother to report in on the days he had off, there was something wrong with the man. Roy�s curiosity had been aroused long ago, wondering just what might happen if he pushed the issue . . . but he was too much of a gentleman to paw at some minor with little to no experience. Roy could wait until Edward was old enough, had gotten into a few relationships of his own. The only problem was the thought of someone else taking Edward�s virginity bothered him a lot more than it should. He had no reason to care other than Full Metal having something to show for all the research Roy had allowed him to conduct outside regular jurisdictions and rank. Edward didn�t realize just how much had been invested in him, how many people were noticing his skill as an alchemist, among other things. Hell, even Hughes thought the situation was dangerous enough for him to mention something.

"You�re drunk," Roy accused, desperate for a change of conversation and only clever enough to state the complete fucking obvious.

"No, you�re drunk- and downright stupid if you�re just going to leave it alone," Hughes snapped right back, hoisting up his drink to point at Roy in accusation- ending up spilling most of the content over his fingers and onto the counter as if to prove Roy correct the first time. It still didn�t help the fact that Maes had just made a very good point. Roy had been ignoring everything outside of his professional relationship with Edward. What else could he do? There was no reciprocation for his own perverted and morbid desires, too much of an age difference . . . or at least Roy had thought he was the only one who had waited until he was drunk and lonely enough to start touching himself while picturing a short, blonde Alchemist that didn�t yell at him for once. Of course, that Edward only existed in his dreams. He couldn�t help but wonder what he was like in Edward�s fantasies, if he took Maes� words as the truth, with a near suicidal interest.

He was no longer in the mood to talk or drink or do anything other than go home and sulk by himself. It was always one thing after another, and frankly Roy was losing the energy to keep up. He was sick and tired of anything that had to do with that damned Edward Elric. It was too hot to be concerned about these details. Though he wouldn�t admit it to anyone else, the Flame Alchemist was ironically weak against the warm weather of East City. The air-conditioning had been running at full power since the moment he arrived, and none of his employees complained. Even so, appearances had to be maintained as Roy sourly pulled his military uniform back on.

"Be sure to pay the bill," Roy snapped out bitterly, officially done with this little chat. Hughes shook his head and waved his glass around in acrid understanding, recognizing that Roy was running away from this conversation but not about to stop him. Maes knew there were times when Roy had to figure things out for himself. This was one of them, nothing but silence for his goodbye as he stalked out of the bar and into the street. It was jolting to walk straight back into sunlight when it felt like his should be night. Roy absently reached inside his coat, figuring he might as well have a cigarette of his own on the walk back . . .

. . . and found his pack missing.
AUTHOR�S NOTES- Officially the quickest chapters I�ve ever written to date. I know you probably all don�t believe me, but when I finally set aside the full metal project time, it only took a week and a day. I re-watched a few choice episodes and hit up fullmetal-alchemist.com for the annoying little details that I don�t really care about but do matter in the end. Don�t try to write fan fiction with what little you remember watching. Thanks to xKesshoux for pointing out such errors.

Sincerest gratitude to Cutelikabu and Iie Nome for beta-ing.

And, most importantly: HOLY FUCKING CRAP I CAN�T BELIEVE THE REVIEWS I GOT!!!

�nuzzles up to the warm loving-

I think all the supportive comments are why this got cranked out so fast. Thank you so much for reading my work! I�m just glad to provide more . . .

Lots more.

(evil cackling and lightning flashes)
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