Stargazer

Author’s note: I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this just yet. I’m playing with a lot of ideas. This morning I discovered, to my delight, that I still had enough inspirational juice to keep me going throughout the chapter! Yay! ^__^ I just hope this keeps up. I must give a big thank you to the early supporters. You really make me want to continue on.

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of DBZ in any way, shape or form. It saddens me every time I say that.


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Chapter three


The ouji stood in one swift motion, and his vision swam in streamers of black ribbon and brilliant white light. The world became indistinguishable around him despite his excellent sight and the ability to see much more clearly at night than an average human. He had the oddest feeling, as if he were leaning to the side. The prince swayed slightly on his feet as he tried to stop the awful spinning and separate the swirling mess, but as it slid off to the right he knew he was going to go with it. Air rushed past his compact frame as the ground itself rolled outward in rippling waves like the water effect caused by a stone being tossed, and reached up to catch him, blending itself with the rest of his nonsensical depictions of reality.

Distantly, he was aware that his body was no longer in his control. He tried to gather enough of his scattered wits to form a sentence, a word, anything. He tried to lift an arm and found that he was under some sort of paralysis.

He was being pulled into the whirling mess of darkness, light and earth. They twisted and danced together, forming a circular pattern with a central point that glowed with a soft golden light. It was so tiny that even he himself wasn’t sure if he was seeing it or not, but it was the one thing that he could actually see clearly. What the hell was that? What was happening to him?

The Earth gave a sickening lurch beneath him and he tried to close his fingers on something solid, anything to keep him in place. That minuscule light winked merrily at him as if oblivious to his predicament. Vegeta willed his fingers to bend, to grab onto the dry, whispering grasses that had caught him when he’d fallen.

‘Give yourself a chance.’

‘Let the man alone and get out while you still can.’

‘Commitment and trust are not evil things.’

‘You share yourself with no one.’

‘He loves you. You know that you love him.’

‘Ah, but you said you were incapable of love, is that not true?’

Those damnable voices! What were they trying to tell him? They weren’t making sense, they were so contradictory!

‘The other deserves a fair chance. Allow him one.’

‘You’ll only end up hurting him, and badly. The only thing you will accomplish is turning him into your little toy.’

The ouji struggled to form a mental reply and found that it was all he could do just to listen. He had long since closed his eyes without realizing it and now the blackness was total, but the whirling pool could still be seen along with the tiny glimmering spot of gold.

‘Mate.’

‘Threat.’

‘Your love could have so much more strength if only you allowed it to be, believed in it.’

‘Hate is even stronger and tastes much more sweeter.’

‘You need it.’

‘You hold your rage and your spite closer than anyone can ever hope to get. What else could you possibly need that matters?

‘You need his warmth. You need that fire that only passion can give.’

‘You need nothing that you cannot provide yourself with.’

‘He needs you as well. Can you not see that?’

‘He is a fool to have fallen for you. Can he not see that?’

What were they talking about? It was so hard to focus on anything. The prince opened his eyes and a bright, swirling ribbon of orange caught his attention. What the... it was almost not worth it to even attempt to think, but he commanded his mind to work. Orange. Orange... there was something familiar about that color. Something good. Hn... It made him feel, something... but what? Something.

‘You feel nothing, it is simply your imagination on the blink.’

‘You do not know why but that color holds many things for you, good things that can be yours if you are ready to try.’

‘Feh. It is only a color.’

‘But one that you recognize for what it is...’

‘It is nothing.’

‘It is something. Remember. I think that you are ready.’

‘It is nothing.’

Although he really didn’t think a color could have any true meaning, there was something about this one that bothered him. It was important, he knew it.

‘Yes! He plays an important role in your life, a role closer to your heart than you yourself believed possible.’

‘You have no heart. You are a vile creature, an abomination.’

‘But that is not your fault.’

‘He will believe it to be yours.’

‘Do not fear that he will turn from you. His intentions are pure and he is open to you. He will not abandon you when you both need one another so.’

‘The look of utter disgust and disappointment upon his face when he has learned of your early years of existence...the sins that you have committed... the murders that you have made...’

‘He is stronger than that.’

‘But you are not.’

It appeared to the prince that the opposing argument always had the last word. Did that mean that it was right? But the other made just as much sense and though it did not speak with as much force, he felt the conviction of the words more so than the rest. Should he listen to one? Should he take heed from both? Was that even possible? Or should he listen to neither...? Were they merely speaking to him for the hell of it, or was there a purpose? Was there guidance within their words or just nonsense that he would be a fool to pay any mind to? Could he speak to these voices? And if he did... what would that prove? That he was well and truly nuts?!

‘I do not wish to steer you in the wrong direction. I am trying to show you how you can be happy.’

‘Who needs happiness? What kind of lonely, depressed individual thought of happiness?! Insane, the lot of them! You have been around humans for far too long. It is time to leave.’

‘You felt happy...’

‘It meant nothing.’

‘It can be yours.’

‘I know of the longing that you felt as you gazed upon the stars this night. I know that your spirit craves to be flying among them once more. You miss space. You miss the travel and having the whole of the universe open to you, hostile or not. How can you relive the best part of your life if you’ve got baggage to lug around?’

‘He is more to you than that.’

‘Leave. Spare him.’

That one hit a little too close to home. It was true, what that one said. He did feel a deep sense of want, of longing to be up in the black oblivion of eternity once more. But... but. What exactly was out there for him, anymore? It had been so many years since last he entered space. Far too many, in his opinion. But was that not because he was content to remain where he was? Yes... that was it. He liked being here on this little cerulean planet with its cobalt sky and crystalline blue waters. He had become accustomed to the presence of the earth saiyajin and his friends, although he himself was not so close to them. They were familiar. It was something he had here that he had never been able to have anywhere else. Here, he had a sense of home. Belonging. That there was someone else out there other than himself, that he no longer had to suffer alone.

Wait– the earth saiyajin? Orange. Kakarotto...

‘He has gone, as you should.’

Where was that man?

‘Leave.’

With a low groan Vegeta braced himself with his palms upon the ground and managed to rise up to rest on his forearms. He cracked an eye, cautiously, expecting the waving mess of streamers that had dominated his vision for God knew how long to greet him. Instead, he was met with the refreshing sight of the forest, its shadows thinning and pulling back as a haze of grey dawn crept across the sky, chasing them back into the recesses of the trees where they sheltered themselves until the coming night. He could feel a chilled breeze brought on by morning ghost across his feverish skin, cooling the sweat. The fingers of light wind tangled in his clothes and tugged at his upswept hair.

“Vegeta! Vegeta, are you alright? What happened?!” came an exclamation. He rotated his head slightly to the left, just enough to glimpse an orange clad thigh. Kakarotto? For some reason he’d thought the other had left, but he wasn’t sure why... wasn’t it supposed to be the darkest hour of night? What was going on?

“Kakarotto-“ the smaller saiyajin had to swallow twice before uttering a sound, “What the fuck is going on?! I came out here in the earliest hours of morning, and now it is light outside. How did I end up in the dirt?” he grew suspicious as he inquired and it could be heard as he spoke, a thread of annoyance painting his words, and underneath that, almost undetectable but real all the same, was unease. He did not like not knowing what was happening. His slender black furred tail coiled at his side and thumped once against the earth before he drew it around his slim waist. The better not to reveal just how bothered he was. Goku was not so easily fooled, however. He could tell how the Ouji felt just by the change of his scent, the expressions upon his face that he still picked up on though the other hid them so expertly, his body language.

“Vegeta,” he began, searching the slighter man with his wide black orbs. “Is that all you remember?”

“If there is something else I should know about, then spit it out already! Because I would really like to know how the hell it is that hours have passed without my knowing, or why I had my face in the dirt.” he snapped. “Was I knocked unconscious? Were we sparring?”

The younger saiyajin frowned and continued to stare at his partner, trying to judge whether he was playing with him or not. He didn’t really think so... the other seemed genuinely at a loss, though he masked it well. Gods. He’d almost had a heart attack when Vegeta’d collapsed. He had lain so still, staring.

“Well, I came here to talk.”

Vegeta nodded as if to say he already knew this and waved a hand for him to go on. He was still stretched out on the ground, because he wasn’t exactly sure that his legs would support him if he tried to stand just yet. It really bothered him, but he would find out soon enough. His tail tightened noticeably around his waist, as if he were hugging himself.

Goku gave him an encouraging smile and continued. “We were discussing things. You told me you weren’t ashamed that we slept together. I asked you if you were afraid and–“ he paused as a shudder raced up the other’s spine and tilted his head to the side. “Hey, what’s the matter? Are you feeling ill?” the earth raised man reached out a hand and placed it lightly upon the prince’s shoulder, feeling a strange tremor within the smaller one.

Vegeta had been listening to the explanation, satisfied with it. It was short and simple and he understood the concepts. Anything more was not needed. He continued to listen to the other as he spoke. ‘I asked if you were afraid and-‘ the word stuck in his mind and reverberated within his skull, jumping up his spine and making him shudder. Afraid. Fear. He trembled, feeling as though an icy fist had curled itself within his stomach. His breath caught in his throat and his heart gave a painful thud against his rib cage. Woah... what–? He felt a weight on his shoulder, warm, comforting, and realized that it was the other’s hand. Just like that, the moment was gone and he felt completely fine, if a little bewildered. What the hell?! He considered allowing himself to keep Goku’s hand where it was, but in the end decided to give it back. He was fine. He did not need to be comforted like a child scared of a monster under the bed.

He nodded at the other’s look of concern and settled himself into a glare. “Get on with it.” he growled out, displaying long, perfect eyeteeth and sharp canines.

The gentle man rested his hand instead upon his own knee and continued, tugging on the bright cloth that covered his leg. “You were thinking very hard. You had a bad headache. I waited for you to speak again, but you never did. You just sort of looked... pained. Torn. You stood up really quickly and just stared strait ahead like you could see something that I couldn’t. I thought that you were sensing someone, but I checked and I couldn’t feel a thing.” Goku took a moment to breath and studied the prince’s reaction. His brow was furrowed with concentration though anger, too, was there. “You started to say something to me. Then you just... fell. It wasn’t exactly like a collapse, but it was as if you just went to sleep. But your eyes, they were open. They were very strange, like there was a tiny dot of gold in them or something. Then they closed and it seemed like you were sleeping; your breathing was just fine, but your ki was really low. Not exactly alarming, but it was like you were pushing it down on purpose. I tried to wake you and nothing happened. You didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger, but I stayed here and waited, just in case I was wrong.” he finished and waited for something to happen, for the prince to say ‘a-hah! Now I get it’ or something that indicated that he knew what he was talking about. “So... are you alright, now?”

Vegeta was baffled. He, the Saiyajin no Ouji, had fainted?! No, ‘passed out’. But there was little difference to him. He remembered the beginnings of a headache, nothing too serious. His thoughts had become somewhat clouded, but he could remember eyes... Kakarotto’s eyes... and then he hit a blank wall. It was as if nothing had happened after that. He couldn’t recall standing up, nor falling. He couldn’t remember being unconscious for any amount of time, though he doubted if he would have anyway. What bothered him the most, though, was that he felt like there was a very big piece of this puzzle that he was missing.

“Are you sure there is nothing else I need to know? Nothing unusual that you noticed?” he asked, taking a chance and rising to settle back on his heels.

“No. I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you more. Is there something that you can remember, maybe some dream you had while you were out?” Goku asked, curious as to whether the smaller saiyajin knew something now that he didn’t before.

Vegeta rotated his head to loosen his tense muscles and thought hard. Could he have had a dream? He rolled his lower lip under and chewed on it as he scanned his mind. What had he said about his eyes? That they had dots of yellow light in them? He knew that wasn’t normal but he couldn’t figure out why they had appeared or why they weren’t there now.

“Were you trying to talk to me, while I was unconscious?”

Goku nodded, fingers still twisting in the orange cloth. He looked down at his lap. “You didn’t seem to hear me when I called out to you. I knelt in front of you and tried to shake you awake. Nothing.” his expression reflected the worry and alarm that he’d felt. “I tried to touch your mind. I hit something. It wasn’t exactly in the way, but I couldn’t get past it either and if you heard me you didn’t respond in any way. But...” he tapered off, an odd look upon his face.

“But what, Kakarotto?” Vegeta was becoming more disturbed by the minute. None of this made sense...

The earth saiyajin sat up a little straighter, as if he had been hunching in upon himself. He locked his stare on the other man. “I could hear something. Within your mind. Like someone was talking to you. I don’t know... it wasn’t any actual speech that I could listen to, but it was... something.”

Someone was talking to him? He got a strange impression that there was not one someone, but two someones. Where this came from he knew not. With this impression came the feeling of being divided, lost. What did any of this mean!? Something was nagging at him, something he needed to do... problem was, he felt that there was something else he should do as well. He licked his lips and began to speak, not knowing what he was going to say right off the top of his head.

“I think, Kakarotto,” he said, rising slowly to his feet. He could stand on his own. Good. “I think the time has come, for me to leave the Earth.”

He thought it was just his imagination, but he had the feeling that someone was pleased with what he said. That was absurd! It was only himself and the other.

“...leave?” came Goku’s soft reply. “Vegeta, what are you talking about?”

The wind blew gently and the forest whispered. Soft grey light became muddled with blue and then lightened in the sky. The stars had long since disappeared from view, but they waited beyond the light, hidden.

The two saiyajins stared at each other in a world of silence and beauty.

“Vegeta? What are you talking about?” the earth saiyajin repeated.



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Hello again! The end of chapter three is finally here. A few pages longer than the others. What did ya think? I’m not sure if there are spelling errors or not... I don’t have a reader so I’m doing everything myself, but you know how that is. You know what it’s supposed to say so sometimes you can’t see the mistakes.



Schwarzwald– Thank you for continuing to read. Your belief in my ability to give a good fic makes me want to just write and write. ^_^

The Chichi Slaughter House– yet another author that I love and admire. Your work is amazing! I feel so jazzed getting feedback from you. I do try to put as much as I can into my fics. I’ve written a few others before this, but they all died a sad death in my shredder. I apologize if I sounded like I was too hard on myself. I’ll try to be more perky from now on. Heehee.

Pixelgoddess– I am very happy that you have kept your interest. Yes, it is very difficult for Vegeta to realize that not everyone is a bad guy. I am pleased that the mood of indecision and confusion got across so well. I’ve made attempts to write fics before, but I ended up destroying them all. >.< regret... I knew when I did it that I should have kept them. I have a good feeling about this one, though. I finally got up the nerve to post something, seeing as how there are so many that take the chance, even if their writing isn’t so good. If they can do it, so can I. ^_^