Meekos

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One day I will write a happy fic. One where the characters don’t have to go through Hell to get to their happy ending. One day I WILL write a fic where no one gets mauled, mutilated, raped, stabbed, beaten, dies, abused, paralyzed, disemboweled, beheaded, amputated, tortured, vivisected, torched, stabbed, shot, killed, or impaled…………today is not that day. Sorry. Maybe next time huh.

Seriously though. This chapter, and really the entire story has got a lot of Pagan influences. I am Pagan. If anything involving the Craft or its practice offends you either skip those parts or don’t read this. For the rest of you, Enjoy. Let me know what you think. What needs to be better? What was good? Thanks very much to Mikinyet who reviews all my stuff with very insightful and helpful comments and to all the other Reviewers of my other stories who are also wonderful. I appreciate you taking the time to write me. YOU’RE THE BEST!!!!

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“Heero are you alright?” Wufei asked catching up with the other.

“NO! I’m not alright!!” he shouted angrily and continued to walk quickly down a long corridor of wooden bark, that no light seeped between, only filtered from the ceiling. The trunks that made up the walls were covered in flowering vines of multiple colors. They turned gray and ashen as Heero approached and returned to normal after he passed them by. Wufei’s gait slowed. He didn’t know why he always tried to comfort him; there was nothing he could do. He just couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain. He hurried to catch up again when Heero whirled about suddenly, slamming him against the wall roughly.

“I want you! All of you! Now!” he growled out starring into Wufei’s eyes intensely a moment before leaning in to take him into a harsh, bruising kiss. Wufei tangled his hands in Heero’s hair tightly taking all of the kiss he could. Heero yanked off the shirt keeping him from the smaller man’s skin angrily. Heero ripped the slim silver bracelet from Wufei’s wrist with a sharp jerk and Wufei’s power surged through him, lighting his nerves on fire with searing liquid heat. He hissed as it crackled painfully along the broken channels his magick ran through. The incomplete and torn fissures sparking with delicious agony and singing in his blood like life and joy and bliss, like magick. He felt himself stagger as he tilted to one side. Wufei’s arms wrapped around him. They both felt a familiar buzz of power surge down the corridor and Wufei held Heero tighter to brace for the impact. It crashed over them in torrents and Heero almost screamed aloud in pain, while Wufei groaned in longing. Trowa fluttered to a halt and wrapped his longs arms around the two of them, pressing against Heero’s mouth in a hard kiss. Wufei felt the wood he leaned against begin to shift and he fell backwards as a netting of vines cradled the three of them. The trees closed behind them and they were sealed in a room that hadn’t been there before. Tiny starflowers, large morning glories and fragrant roses covered the room in a riot of color. Trowa’s wings brushed against Heero’s skin as the taller boy ripped the clothing off his body and Heero shivered. Heero dropped to his knees and tugged Wufei’s pants off quickly. He took the other’s throbbing member in one hand and the second silver bracelet in the other. He pulled Wufei’s length into his mouth and he removed the bracelet. Eyes open he continued to suckle and stared up at Wufei as changed. Smoke and heat ripples seemed to cover him, then fell away as if blown by a strong wind. Wufei’s full power pressed against him and his skin felt five sizes too small, his teeth grazing against the other’s length in pain. Wufei ran his claws through Heero’s hair, staring down at him with slitted pupils. Heero dug his fingertips into the smooth scales covering Wufei’s hips and ass as he deep throated the other boy. He threw his head back and groaned open mouthed at the pleasure. Wufei sank to his knees and Heero crouched on all fours. He groaned around Wufei as Trowa pulled his hips upwards, slipping a saliva-slicked finger into his body. Heero cried out in pain as Trowa quickly added a second and then a third, tearing the delicate skin. He rammed his digits into the waiting body a few times then pulled his fingers away. Trowa slathered his hard cock with spit before slamming into Heero, shoving to the hilt in one motion. Heero’s scream of pain was muffled as Wufei pushed deeper into his throat with a violent push of his own. Trowa pulled out of Heero and slammed back into him hurriedly, while Wufei held the sides of his head and fucking his mouth in short, quick thrusts. The two of them let their magick wrap around Heero and he writhed in pain between them as it settled over his body. The flowers around them turned the deep color of fresh blood and the rusty shade of old scabs. All three of them were crying. Wufei’s face was twisted in sadness, Heero’s in pain, and Trowa’s in anger.

“Is this what you want Heero!” Trowa growled out furiously.

“Trowa…” Wufei began to interrupt, but the taller boy continued on unlistening.

“Is this it! You want us to take you like this? You want us to rape you physically, spiritually? Cause that’s what we’re doing! Every time you do this! Every single time you ask this of us!” Trowa yelled as he slammed angrily into Heero over and over again. Wufei pulled away from Heero sobbing

and Heero let him. “Is this what you want!! For your best friends to rape you!! For me to pound into you, to make you bleed!!” Trowa pulled out and flung Heero onto his back, quickly pushing himself back inside the weeping boy. “How does it feel Heero!! How does it feel for me to rape you!!! How does it feel for me to push inside you!! To force myself on you!!” Trowa slammed Heero harshly against the floor before slapping him hard across the face. “How does it feel to have my spirit pushing down on you, seeping into every part of you, bringing you pain!! Why do you do this Heero!! Tell me why Heero!! Why Heero!!” Trowa screamed over Heero’s cries of pain as he came inside the body beneath him. His magick rolled through the small room and across the three of them. He felt the edges of his power brush against the broken edges of Heero and knew that it caused him pain, he pushed harder against the rips in Heero’s soul. “Why!” Trowa demanded pressing in even harder as Heero continued to scream. “Why!!”

“Trowa!!” Heero screamed out and curled into a tight ball. Trowa pulled his magick back quickly, feelings of horror and disgust at himself washing through him.

“He…Heero….” He whispered brokenly and pulled the other boy into his arms gently. “Heero why? Why do you do this?” Trowa asked softly as he cradled the sobbing form against his chest. “Why do you want us to hurt you?” he pleaded.

“Because it makes me feel.” Heero cried brokenly. “If only for a moment. I can almost feel alive again.” He clung to Trowa shoulder and sobbed aloud as Wufei crawled to them and pressed Heero between his and Trowa’s bodies. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” he wept bitterly.

“No, Heero no its alright. I’m the one who should be sorry, not you. I…I just wish you didn’t have to do this. I wish…” a choked sob stuck in Trowa’s throat. “I wish I could help you, I wish we knew how to heal you.” Trowa wept. He wept for his friend’s pain, wept for his loss, wept for the terrible, sad waste of it all. They held each other tightly for a few moments before Heero pushed away, wiping the tears from his already emotionless face.

“I’m going into the forest to prepare for the ritual tonight, I’ll be back after lunch. I want the Damen ready by the time I get back, if he’s awake, if not let him sleep.” He said in his even, mechanical voice. They watched him dress, the too large clothes slipping over his gaunt frame. His eyes were sunken in, his skin sallow and pale.

“Sure thing Heero.” Wufei said softly, neither of them chastising his impersonal lack of emotion. Neither of them trying to stop him as the wooded wall parted to let him out.

“He’s dieing, right before our very eyes he’s dieing and there’s nothing we can do to save him.” Wufei whispered softly, his dragon wings drooping in sorrow.

“No, he’s already dead. What really surprises me is he’s still alive. I almost dread the day when we Meekos are free. He’ll fade then, fade away into nothing, he’ll have nothing left to fight for.” Trowa intoned as silent tears continued down his face. They held each other in their sadness as the flowers overhead faded to their normal colors once more.

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“NNOOO!!” Duo woke screaming and shaking as he sat upright suddenly. Quatre stared around him in fear and alarm.

“Duo are you alright?” He asked concerned when he saw they were alone.

“Yeah…” he said gasping. “It was just a dream.” He told the blond boy and shivered. He’d dreamt of being raped and being in so much pain and the world bleeding and dieing around him. He never wanted to remember that, not ever. A soft mewling noise reached their ears and they both looked around confused. Duo noticed the fronds of the door moving and his eyes snapped towards it. A hand parted the strands and Heero walked into the room.

“Mage!” Duo spat in anger.

“Good evening.” He replied uncaringly. “I brought your kittens to you.”

“What?” The braided Damen asked confused.

“The kittens that the Tenchi…I mean…Quatre was trying to get in the pet shop. I brought them to you. And some toys and commercial food and such. Until they get older and can hunt.” He said setting the items down and placing a small carrier on the floor.

“Really!!” Quatre asked excitedly and moved to get out of the bed. Heero glared at him with death in his eyes and Quatre froze in fear. The Mage looked away and closed his eyes; schooling his features back to neutrality before he opened them again.

“Don’t get out of bed. Not until Sal says you can.” Heero instructed and picked the carrier back up. He walked smoothly to the bed and opened the carrier placing the kittens onto Quatre’s lap. The blond angel quickly scooped up a white kitten with gray paws and head and pressed it against his face. Heero grasped the other kitten around the ribcage gently and deposited it softly onto Duo’s lap as he sat in the bed in shock.

“I…didn’t really want the kitten.” He said confused but happy that Quatre had gotten his pet back. The kittens had been kept in the back room with them until the cage was ready and Quatre had instantly fallen in love.

“I’ll call you Snuggles, yes I will! Aren’t you a cute little Snuggles!! Yes you are!!” Quatre’s voice rose to an impossibly high pitch as he spoke to the fluff ball totally uncaring of the rest of the world.

“There were only two. I couldn’t leave one behind. They needed to be rescued.” Heero said in his colder than ice voice and turned away. He stopped and looked back at Duo and the little orange tabby on his lap.

“I couldn’t have killed the little white one…the orange one would never have been happy if I did.” He said slowly looking Duo straight in the eye. “What would be the point of saving him alone if the orange one would have died of a broken heart?” he asked and walked away.

*That guy is just fucked up!!* Duo thought to himself. He looked over to Quatre who was getting ‘Snuggles’ to chase a length of vine across the bedspread, the leaves it was made of were inscribed with Berkana[2], the straight lines of the rune growing in the center of the leaves. The kitten pounced on the plant and rolled clumsily to one side, batting a single gray paw at the despicable, vile enemy. Quatre laughed softly and Duo smiled widely. It was the first laugh not tainted by pain or bitterness he’d heard from the boy in months. Duo’s own kitten wrestled with his braid, which had fallen over his shoulder. He looked back to Quatre quickly and then back to his own golden chestnut hair lying next to the Little Hellion.

*Orange! Quatre is white and I’m orange! He was saying sorry for threatening Quatre with a gun!! …………Well that’s just a little fucked up!!!* Duo thought in shock.

“I don’t want to!” They heard a voice yell suddenly.

“Yorn, I don’t understand.” /tern replied sounding hurt. Duo climbed out of bed and realized his entire body hurt and throbbed. He groaned aloud and placed the terrible Great Cat Hunter onto Quatre’s lap. Where he and Snuggles began an Epic Battle that poets would write ballads about centuries later.

“I’ll check on them.” Duo said quietly and limped slowly into the hallway. He realized then that it was almost dark and they’d slept the entire day away. He sent a nasty glare at Heero who stood on the steps hesitantly; as if he’d been on his way down, listening to the two brothers argue.

“Guys…” he began loud enough for them to hear and walked into the room. He saw that their room was covered in the same five-point star flowers and his and Quatre’s but instead of white, cream, and blush, there’s was done in various shades of blue.

“Yorn I just…” Tern said defeated as his brother glared at him.

“I’m going to find Heero!” He cut off his brother angrily, his ocean blue eyes flashing as he tucked strands of his pale sky blue hair behind his pointed ear. They were shocked to say the least.

“What has a damn Mage got to do with us!” Tern shouted angrily. “And why won’t you talk to me!?!” Yorn pushed angrily passed Duo and rushed into the hallway. Tern began to rush after him but Duo stopped him.

“Tern let me try to talk to him.” Duo offered. Tern’s sea green eyes flickered in uncertainty and worry before he lowered his head, his sky blue hair falling over his face as he nodded silently. Duo walked into the hallway where his friend stood nervously flicking his wings at the top of steps, looking down at Heero a few steps down.

“Can…can we talk…” he asked hesitantly.

“Maybe we should all talk together.” Heero offered with a gentle smile, as he walked back up the stairs and placed a comforting arm around Yorn’s shoulders. Yorn’s wings drooped as he let Heero led him back to the room.

*There’s that smile again. As if he’s never killed hundreds of my people. As if he’s never hunted us like animals. Bastard.* Duo thought angrily and turned to go back into the room.

“It’ll be hard, but it’s for the best.” He heard Heero say softly as they entered. Tern took one look at them and exploded in anger.

“You won’t come within ten feet of me, but you’ll let that filthy Mage put his hands all over you!!” He practically screamed and Yorn slumped in on himself. He lunged at Heero suddenly, pinning him to the wall and Yorn backed away, wide-eyed in fear. Tern growled at the look of anger on Heero’s face.

“As I was saying we should all talk since Yorn and Tern haven’t yet and Duo seems to be the head of your family.” He kept his voice emotionless as he spoke. Tern released the Mage with another low growl. Heero stood away from the wall, with his back to the door. “I was the one who brought Yorn from the human the bought him. She was the owner of a brothel Quatre go back to bed or I’ll have Sally tie you down do you understand!!” Heero intoned sternly. Tern looked like he might be sick or pass out. “Duo will tell you later if he deems it necessary.”

“Yes sir.” Came Quatre’s voice from the doorway and the soft tread of footsteps.

“She was selling him.” Heero continued after a moment to let Tern regain himself. Yorn leaned heavily against the wall and crying, slid down slowly to clutch his knees to his chest. “I killed her, the two men abusing him at the time, and brought him to the van.” His voice was emotionless but soft, his deep blue eyes held pain as he spoke. “He’s scared.” Heero said and walked to Yorn slowly, he sank to his knees before the Mer. “He’s worried that he’ll hurt forever. He’s scared that he’s going to be hurt again, that no one will come to save him before the worst part the next time.” Heero wrapped his arms tightly around the sobbing boy. “So, so terrified that his family will hate him, that they won’t want to be near him, that they’ll think he’s dirty and unworthy and unloved, that he can’t even breath sometimes. And he’s trying to push you all away so it won’t hurt as much when you abandon him.” He whispered softly. Tern rushed across the room and Heero moved back to let the other hug his brother.

“I love you Yorn, I love you, I love you.” Tern repeated over and over again as he rocked his twin. Heero turned to leave; Duo followed him into the hall.

“Did it hurt Mage?” Duo asked softly. Heero turned to look at him over his shoulder.

“There wasn’t time. I would’ve killed them slowly, I would’ve made it hurt, but there wasn’t time.” He responded evenly, his face once again a mask.

“I meant did it hurt when you were raped.” Duo said quietly. Heero jerked his head forward, his fists clenched at his sides. They didn’t say anything for a few long moments, neither moving.

“Yes it did.” His pain filled whisper barely reached Duo’s ears. He continued down the stairs. Duo watched him walked across the large open lobby-like area, swiping the back of a fist across his face as he headed to the front door.

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Heero kept his pace even as he left the manor and headed into the woods.
*Damn it I just left here! Now I’m back and I didn’t even bring Duo with me! I’ll have to go back to the house again.* He thought crossly. Once he was out of sight he broke into a hard run, his legs pumping, heart pounding, blood roaring, trees flying by, he ran like a deer. Dodging, jumping, clearing fallen logs, leaping high, ducking low. Losing himself and his pain in the simple joy of running, of going faster and faster, the wind whipping by, he threw his arms out to either side and ran as though nothing could stop him as though nothing held him back and he could fly. He ran for an hour or more as the moon rose above him and burst into a wide clearing suddenly.

He put his hands on his knees and gasped for air, willing his heart not to brake from his chest, as a drop of sweat ran down his nose. At the manor he knew that others would be eating dinner, talking, laughing making Quatre, Yorn, and Tern feel at home. He knew that Trowa and Wufei would be on their way to the clearing with him and that they’d bring Duo with them. Heero walked around the huge standing stones, to a small stream that ran on the western side of the clearing. His fingers trailed idly over the cool gray stone, wore smooth by age and time. He left the stone circle and went to the stream. Stripping off his clothes he waded into the water and began to cleanse himself for the ritual. He wiped away the grime that covered him from his run, as he did he let go of any lingering negative emotions he had left, although the run had chased most of them away. He focused on nothing and just let his mind wander. He finished bathing quickly and climbed out to let himself air dry, chill bumps prickling his flesh as a small breeze blew by him. He wandered back to the stones. Twenty-four shorter stone formed the outside ring, each the length of a man high from the ground, one length around, and three lengths apart, four where the rune sets divided. Fehu’s eight, Hagalaz’s eight, and Tiewaz’s eight. The three separations representing the three parts of a being, mind, body, spirit. A ring of elder trees, the Lady’s tree, stood three lengths from the first ring of stones, their pale white flowers glowing in the waning moonlight. The inner ring was made of four stones, each two lengths high from ground level, one length around, and four lengths apart. At the base of each, facing in toward the center, was a large silver censure. They were the four elements. East would have burning incense to represent Air, South would have Fire, West would have Water, and North would have Earth. At the center was a large stone table-alter, the Triple Crowned Goddess symbol, representing Maiden, Mother, and Crone, carved onto the top. The words ‘An It Harm None, Do As Ye Will’ were carved along the edges of the table in Gaiaian.
Heero heard the sound of wings flutter and looked up to see Trowa landing in the clearing.

“They’re not far behind.” Trowa said and began pulling off his clothes. Heero nodded and Trowa went to the stream to cleanse himself. He climbed out quickly and began to call the Circle before he even dried. He called upon the Spirits of Air, Fire, Water and Earth to guard the circle and keep all within safe. He then called upon The Goddess, Gaia, The Earth Mother from which all were born, to watch over her children and protect the circle. Heero repressed a moan of pain as he felt the magick of the Circle around him and wrapped his arms around himself tightly. Trowa pulled him close as he cast a glamour over the two of them and held Heero up as his knees buckled under him when the magick settled over him. He lifted the small boy and placed him on the alter gently. They heard Wufei and Duo land next to the stream. They cleansed themselves in silence and walked toward to the edge of the Circle and stopped.

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Trowa walked forward clutching an Athame [3] in his hand. Duo looked at him confused a moment before he realized what was happening, he kept his face blank while he tried to fathom a reason for the three of them wanting him to think that Heero was Trowa and Trowa was Heero. He could tell that a strong glamour had been cast over the two of them by Trowa, that he was supposed to see Heero walking towards him with the plain, black handled, silver Athame clenched in his fist and his customary blankness set about his face. He could tell he was supposed to see Trowa kneeling upon the alter, looking serious and kind of nervous, in Heero’s place; he could see that the Mage was in pain but didn’t see an injury. The whole effect of knowing what was really there and being told something else was a little disorienting and made Duo a little dizzy. He decided to play along and gave a small glare to ‘Heero’ who was really Trowa. Trowa directed his magical energy along the Athame and cut a rift in the Circle, allowing Duo and Wufei to enter, before he sealed it back into a seamless bubble of magick.

“So tell me why are we here?” Duo asked Wufei softly.

“To do a ritual.” Wufei stated.

“Yes! You told me that! But why am I here!!” He demanded his voice rising. “I’m crippled!!” He shouted brokenly and raised the Soul Cuffs encasing his arms. They glinted in the waning moonlight hatefully and Duo wished again he could cut off his arms, knowing it would do him no good. They were merely the physical conduit for the magick that tied his soul, the act was done breaking the Cuffs was nearly impossible, but even if you could get them off, the magick binding would stay. Wufei and Trowa were free; they’d used the Mages idea of binding magick powers to walk among the human world unknown. He would never hold a ritual again; he would never fully feel magick against his skin, never have a child. It was a fate worse than death for most of his people and the Mages knew it, they willing bond his people and most of them died of it, most of them succumbed to madness.

“Duo…” Heero’s voice broke across the clearing. The braided boy had a moment of dizziness as he heard both Trowa’s and Heero’s voice. He focused only on Heero’s voice and it faded.

“Come here.” He panted softly. His breathing was labored and his body shook slightly. Duo walked toward the stone alter, his eyes narrowed as he saw that Heero knelt in the center of a Triple Crowned Goddess symbol.

*What right has he to kneel before our Lady?* Duo thought in outrage, but stopped himself with a shake of his head. *I have let hate run away with me…I sound like a human. I trust Trowa and Wufei, I don’t think they’d let him here if he didn’t have a place in…whatever this is. I’ll trust them, if not the Mage.*

“Come and let the Lady make you whole.” Heero said softly and held out a hand. Duo pushed down his dark emotions and tried not to look at them like they were nuts.

*Make me whole? What the hell does that mean?* he asked himself confused. Duo took the offered hand, wanting to wipe away the imagined slimy feeling from touching Heero. Duo knelt facing the other, their knees almost touching.

“Hold out your arms.” He commanded and Duo raised his hands slowly not bothering to hide his confusion this time, he looked at those within the Circle warily. “This will hurt a little, mostly for me though.” The glamour showed Trowa smiling reassuringly, but in truth Heero looked terrified beyond belief. He grasped the Soul Cuffs firmly with shaking hands. Vines began creeping upwards over Heero and wrapping around his bent legs and over his waist, across his chest and down his arms to hold his clenched hands firmly over the Cuffs. Tears rolled down his face, while the glamour showed Trowa sitting almost serenely. The real Trowa stood off to the side and spoke in Heero’s cold voice.

“This normally takes a lot out of me so don’t be surprised if I don’t see you for a few days.” Trowa said pretending to be Heero.

“You can remove the Cuffs?” he whispered in disbelief. Heero nodded. Duo stared open mouthed in wonder, hope soaring in his chest despite his mind shouting caution.

“Gaia…please no please no…” Heero sobbed, while ‘Trowa’ spoke a soft prayer to the Goddess. Duo felt a flicker of fear, why was he crying like this? He felt a flicker of power flow through Heero and the other boy immediately buckled forward with a small cry of pain. He felt the power flow into the Cuffs and a wave of anguish swept over him. He screamed out in pain and alarm as he felt his soul start to splinter and be ripped apart. He gasped in great shuddering breaths and realized that it wasn’t his soul, it was Heero’s. The dark-haired boy screamed aloud in agony. He began pulling his arms back frantically, tugging against the vines that held them and gave up pretending that he didn’t notice the glamour.

“NO!! No Heero stop! Stop!” He shouted and began to get to his feet. “Gaia no!! Please stop this, please!!” Duo cried aloud. “Not at this price Gaia not at this price!!” Mage or not Duo didn’t want anyone’s soul ripped in two, which is what he, could feel happening to Heero. “MAGE STOP!!” He bellowed. Vines quickly wrapped around him, pinning him to the alter. Duo closed his eyes against the pain. He knew what Heero was feeling, he knew, but he wasn’t really there. It didn’t really touch him, he just knew about it and he wanted it to stop.

Duo screamed and began to hyperventilate. White flashed behind Duo’s eyes and he saw Heero standing in a forest clearing, same deep blue eyes same bright smile he only ever gave to Yorn. But he was different, his skin was pale spring green like new buds, his hair was such a dark green it was almost black. Behind him rose two delicate green wings, like the lace work of a leaf’s veins.

+The soul is bound, the soul must be torn to be free…+ a sad voice spoke. It was like the rolling ocean, the shock of thunder, the crash of a landslide, a gentle breeze, a glorious moonrise, a flower floating to the earth. Gaia.

+Then let the soul be mine!+ Heero declared and Duo felt the Earth Mother’s surprise. “Let mine be the soul that is paid. Let me bear it.” he begged.

+You would take the pain of all our people into yourself?+ she asked in a whisper of snow on ice, a fire’s crackle, the shine of stars.

+We must be free or we will die. We must be whole or we will die. I will do this to save us if I can.+ Heero said just as softly.

+Oh child if you only knew…+ she cried a single tear. A simple tear, a tear all mothers cry when their child hurts and they cannot stop it.

And then came the pain as Heero was ripped it two. The part of his soul the held magick was ripped out as the Soul Cuffs were removed. Heero’s wings wilted and disappeared as he screamed aloud in pain. His skin faded to pale, human white, his hair to brown. Only his eyes remained the same. Jagged edges were left in his soul, where once he was whole.

The vines began to unwrap and Duo heard two small clinks as the Cuffs shrank and fell against the alter. Duo caught Heero in his arms as he fell forward. He hugged the boy to him tightly.

“Dryad!” Duo gasped out the single word and fainted with Heero still pressed against him.

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[2]Berkana-18th rune-means Healing, Fertility,
Growth.

[3]Athame-ritual knife used to direct the elemental energy of Fire or Air depending on how you practice. A Wand is either Air or Fire. Both can be used to open Circle once it has been cast. Pronounced (ah-THAH-may)