To Understand Love

I see that I have gotten quite a few hits for my story, but hardly any reviews. If you are reading this and you like it, or you can think of ways I could improve my writing, please let me know. Receiving reviews is really motivating, and I appreciate getting them. And thanks to Nana666, bulma90_13, and Webtester01 for reviewing. You're the best!

Chapter 3

Today, my life has gone from bad to worse. Sometimes you wonder to yourself, how bad could things really be? How fucked up could life actually get? And those people that spend their entire lives bitching about how unfair things are, do they even have a clue? Well, let me tell you, there is some validity to those blanket statements, which claim that life isn’t always a bed of roses. And I can say that I have become a believer.

Staring at my boss, I want to punch him in the face. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m generally a laid back kind of guy and the thought of physically harming someone weaker than myself isn’t the usual thought that crosses through my mind. Sometimes, however, there are certain individuals that bring my Saiyan nature roaring through my veins and Mr. Nezumi is one of those special people who possess that certain talent.

“What’s wrong Goten? Cat got your tongue? You look…perplexed.”

Sitting in his hot, stuffy office that smells like overripe sashimi, I try to school my features so he doesn’t realize how upset he is making me at the moment. Letting out a deep breath, I move forward on the cheap olive green polyester chair that he lets clients and employees use when meeting with him. The man reeks of dishonesty and any number of things that point to making a quick and inexpensive buck, of which I have become overly familiar with over the months I have worked for him in sales. Today, I tell myself, is the last straw. Today, I’m going to give him back all the misery he’s put me through as I try to make a living working in his tacky, used car lot.

“Um, Saturday you say?” I ask, wincing internally when I realize how pussified I sound.

“Why yes. That’s exactly what I said, my boy. You’ve done rather well this quarter and Nezumi’s Auto Emporium thanks you for your effort and dedication. There are few employees who I think of as highly as I do you, Goten. However, I need you to work this Saturday. I know I told you I’d give it to you for a holiday, but something’s come up. So just show up at your regular work time. I mean, I’m sure I don’t have to clue you in on the details. It’s not like you haven’t worked a Saturday before.”

And with that, he turns his skinny, mustached face away from me as he dismisses me and pulls out a cigar from behind his Formica topped desk. Standing up slowly, I make my way out of his office and out into the sweltering heat of the summer. Slinking past two other employees as they try to sell the junk Nezumi foists off on the general public, I leave my place of employment feeling angry over the fact that I once again didn’t stand up for myself. Instead, I let my good work history pull me into covering for somebody just because I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t know how to say the word ‘no.’

Why? Why do I keep doing this to myself? Not only with work, but with everyone else in my life as well. If somebody would ask me to jump, I’d do it. If somebody asked me to fly up to the top of Capsule Corporation’s main office building and moon West City, I’d probably do that as well. Thrusting my hands into my pockets, I head down the street and end up at the corner bus stop. Parking myself on a bench, I wait for the city transit to arrive, thankful that there aren’t many people sitting next to me. In fact, I’m the only one at the bus stop. I can brood over my pansy behavior in solitude until the bus arrives and I have to deal with what most people consider to be the scum of West City. It’s funny how I sort of fit into that mold as well.

Sitting in silence, I try my best to ignore the sweat dripping down my face and neck as it stains my white shirt while I wait for the bus. Thankfully, the bus is on time and my waiting is reduced to less than five minutes. Stepping onto the bus, I pay the fair and take a seat near the front, away from the other patrons taking advantage of the cheap transportation. Gazing out the window, I watch as buildings and people slide past. Everything always seems to look so much better than it actually is, like there’s this layer of paint covering the imperfections that make up the majority of the world. Frowning slightly, I close my eyes and try to think of happy thoughts to get rid of this ever-deepening sense of despair that’s started to seep into my bones. Ever since that night out with Trunks a few weeks ago, and maybe even before then, I’ve had this feeling that my life is nothing more than a joke for someone else’s entertainment. Well, I hate feeling sorry for myself, but it’s hard to be happy when everything seems to be spinning out of my control.

I jerk my eyes open when I feel the bus brake suddenly. Looking out the window, I realize that I’m already at my stop. Standing up quickly, I make my way to the door and wait for the driver to open it. Stepping out onto the curb, I pull my keys out of my pocket and walk the half-block to my apartment flat. In less then a minute, I’m there, standing in front of my door as I push the key into the lock and open the door.

My eyes adjust to the dim light as step inside my humble abode. Kicking aside an old pizza box, I shuffle inside and walk over to the air conditioner, turning it up to high. Feeling too tired to even bother with taking a shower, I pull my shirt off and throw it on the floor before I stumble over to my futon and flop down on top of it. Dealing with cranky customers, an egotistical bastard for a boss, and the pressure to sell something that’s nothing more than a piece of crap takes its toll out of me. I’m tired. I’m bored. And I hate the direction my life seems to be headed in.

Staring up at the ceiling, I find myself examining a crack in the tile. It seems to wind across in various directions, mimicking how I’ve been feeling of late. That I’m not in control and somebody else is. That I don’t have what it takes to get out of the rut I’m in. That I’m not meant to be a success at anything. I know I sound pathetic to you, but just try to understand where I’m coming from.

My best friend has ditched me. My boss perpetually uses my reliability as an excuse to cut my vacation, my work weekends, and my holidays so his slacker employees can have the time off (and he hasn’t paid me any of the bonuses he promised me). And on top of everything else, I don’t think I have the skills necessary to move up in the world. I don’t know what to do except that I’ve come to the realization that I can’t keep living like this. Although, thinking of how to change it all is depressing because I don’t even know where to start and I’m not about to come crawling back to Trunks in order to beg him to let me take up on his offer to work as his assistant. I know that’s just what he’d want, me to come back begging for forgiveness and a place in his own messed up life. Well, I may be a number one pansified idiot, but I do have my pride when it comes to certain things.

Groaning to myself, I sink farther into the cushions of my futon. It’s too hard to think right now. Closing my eyes, I push my misery to the side and let the cool air from my air conditioner blow across my body. In no time at all, my eyelids feel heavy and I start to move into sleep. Deep down inside, I know that it isn’t normal for me to be spending so much time holed in my apartment sleeping when I get home from work. I just don’t have the energy to motivate myself to go and do something, and without Trunks around to cajole me into going out, it’s just easier to come home and pass out. I know it’s a pretty boring existence, and maybe that’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that I really need a change in my life. But if you’ve ever felt the way I do, you probably can understand just how hard it is to be motivated when there is no clear path laid out for you, especially if you don’t have a high amount of self-confidence to bolster you when things really start to get rough.

Slowly but surely, I fall into oblivion, and with that oblivion comes the dreams that have haunted me for a while. Dreams of a happy future, where everything is clear and the secret desires I hold deep within my heart can finally come out into the open. Where those desires won’t be ridiculed or be called stupid by the ones who know me best. Where my best friend can finally realize how much the way he talks to me and the way he acts around me hurts and cuts deep into my heart. But whom am I kidding? Even in my fucked up dreams, I know that those things won’t ever happen and I’m just fooling myself.

Shaking myself out of the stupor I’m in, I snap my eyes open and stare blankly at the ceiling once again. There’s dampness at the corners of my eyes and I chuckle bitterly over the fact that I’ve started to cry in my sleep. God, I’m becoming even more pathetic than I thought was possible.

Sitting up slowly, I stretch my arms over my head and then scratch my head. Looking out the window, I can tell the sun is starting to set because of the lengthening shadows and the deepening colors of the sky. With that comes the realization that I’m hungry. Rubbing my stomach, it gurgles incessantly. Standing up, I move into my kitchen and pull open the refrigerator, only to be welcomed with moldy bread and some watery looking bologna. Groaning to myself, I realize that I had forgotten to go to the grocery store after work. Well, it isn’t really any wonder that I forgot, considering that fact that I was pissed at my boss and myself.

Slamming the door shut, I lean against the cool, white surface of the refrigerator debating whether or not I should go grocery shopping for if I should order take out for the night. I’m about to come to a decision when a very distinct rapping noise comes from my front door. Immediately, my heart starts to race as I think that it could be Trunks coming to ask for forgiveness. Instead, common sense takes over and I slowly walk over to where the pounding is getting louder the longer I take to answer the door. It isn’t Trunks, that much I’m sure about. I know he’s not the type to come begging for forgiveness, and since it’s been almost three weeks since our fight and I haven’t seen or heard from him, I know it will be a long time before he decides to forgive me or ask for it in return.

Reaching the door, I swing it open and squint my eyes, trying to adjust to the brightness coming from outside.

“Yeah? What do you want?”

“Goten?”

That’s all the warning I get before I find myself pushed back into my apartment, enveloped in a strangling bear hug. Sputtering slightly, I start to feel as though all the air in my body is being squeezed out. Coming to reality, I immediately shove at my attacker, pushing them off of me before I lose my balance and fall to the floor, landing with a hard thump on my ass. Looking up dazedly, the first thing I notice is that my visitor is wearing a navy blue polyester suit that has to be stifling in the summer heat. The second thing I notice is that I know my visitor, but it takes me a second for my eyes to adjust to the light streaming into my apartment from outside compared to the darkness within.

“Gohan? What’re you doing here?”

Before answering me, he bends over and extends his hand, which I grab immediately. Being hoisted upward, I find myself face to face with my geeky older brother who, by the looks of him, just came from his office job. Brushing off my work khakis, I step back slightly and cross my arms over my bare chest, squirming slightly under the intensity of his eyes.

“Why do you think Goten? I’m worried…we’re all worried about you. It’s like you’ve turned invisible or something and that just isn’t like you.”

With that said, he backs away and flips on the overhead light before closing the door behind him. Turning back around, his eyes sweep across my messy apartment before landing back on me.

“Have you ever heard of cleaning? It looks like a landfill in here.”

Growling slightly, I give him the finger before flopping back down on my futon. Fishing for the remote control, I find it and then flip on the TV, pretending to ignore him. It doesn’t last very long though. Gohan can be persistent when he wants to be, and since he has the added experience of having a kid of his own, not to mention the fact that he practically raised me when I was a little squirt, he knows how to push his authority around. He easily blocks my small TV screen and then deftly shuts it off without taking his eyes off of me.

“Uh, uh Goten. Pretending I’m not here isn’t going to make me go away. You and I need to talk.”

Crossing my arms, I glare at him before giving into defeat. I don’t want to talk to him about stuff; but then again, he’s always had this ability to help me see through things when they seem really tough or really hard. He’s probably the best example of an older brother that anyone could wish for. Even though I don’t always want to tell him the happenings in my life or the inner workings of my brain, I know when I need someone to talk to, he’s always been there to listen to me and help me figure things out.

Slumping backwards against the cushions, I wait for him to move some dirty socks off of the cheap recliner I salvaged from the street curb and sit down.

“What is going on Goten? I know you’ve sort of become…reclusive, but this is becoming extreme. Have you even bothered to look at your answering machine? Mom’s been trying to get a hold of you for close to three weeks. You know how she gets. She tried to get Dad to IT here to knock some sense into you, but he said that you were probably just going through a phase and he didn’t want to bother you. Well, I don’t know if you are going through a phase, but it’s not like you to continue to ignore your family for this long. Besides, Trunks has been asking about you too. I don’t know what happened, but he’s worried just about as much as I am.”

Sitting up straighter, I’m surprised at his information about Trunks.

“He’s worried about me?”

Warily, Gohan scratches the back of his head before answering.

“Yeah, I guess. He came around the other day asking if I’d talked to you. He said you hadn’t been answering your phone. I know you sometimes ignore Mom because, let’s face it, she can be annoying. But it isn’t like you to ignore Trunks too, so that’s why I decided to pay a visit and figure out what’s up with you.”

Looking down at my lap, I can feel shame winding it’s way through my body. This entire time, I’d been so depressed and self centered about the misery in my own life, I hadn’t figured Trunks would actually make a move to apologize first. Letting out a deep breath, I make a decision to let my brother in on the secret misery of my pathetic life.

“Trunks…Trunks and I had a falling out a few weeks back. I ditched him at a club and then we got into a huge argument over the phone and I thought I really fucked things up with him. He said I was pathetic and I guess I’ve been living up to his image of me since then. But it is true Gohan. I am a real loser.”

“So just because you think you’re a loser, you’ve been avoiding everybody? That’s pretty sad Goten.”

Looking at Gohan and the unsympathetic expression on his face, I feel completely humiliated in front of him. He is right, it is pretty sad to use my own attitude about myself as a means to avoid everyone else. But sometimes, it’s just easier to ignore the happiness everyone else seems to be a part of when I feel like shit. That way, it doesn’t hurt as much.

“Look Gohan, you just try living my life and see how you feel at the end of the day. Especially when your best friend tells you you’re a pathetic loser and doesn’t ever seem to try and understand how hard I’m trying to make it on my own and prove that I can do it! And you’re just like him in a lot of ways, Gohan. You’re a fucking genius! Everybody loves you! You’re married to the daughter of one of the richest guys on the planet, and it’s always seemed like you’ve gotten things on a silver platter. Hell, I know you went through some really rough times too, but compared to you and especially compared to Trunks, I don’t even rate on the scale of worthiness. No matter how much I tell myself that I’m somebody and I’m going to make something of myself, I really feel like I’m nobody and I’m never going to be anything.”

Clenching my knees with my hands, I try not to break down in front of him, but three weeks of self-imposed agony have taken their toll on me. Blinking my eyes shut, I can feel tears start to slide down my cheeks which only adds to my humiliation over how weak I am. Gohan, though. He knows me better than anyone, even Trunks and without any encouragement from me, he moves over next to me and puts his arm around my bare shoulders, giving me a good squeeze.

“First things first Goten. You aren’t a loser and I highly doubt that Trunks thinks of you like that. Sure, he probably said those words because he was angry with you, but I know he realizes how hard you work to prove you can do things on your own in your own way. I know it’s hard, living up the standards set by your family. I mean, for years, I grew up in the shadow of how great our father was, what a savior he became. And I just felt like some stupid kid who didn’t know anything and would let everybody down. You’ll find your own path Goten, and when you do, you’ll stop worrying about where you compare with everyone else.”

“Yeah, but that’s just it!” I yell at him in frustration. “I have no idea what path it is I’m supposed to follow! I feel like I’m stuck in some kind of limbo, where everyone else is moving ahead while I just sit and watch.”

Wiping my eyes, I grab the Kleenex Gohan suddenly offers me and blow my nose loudly into it.

“And to make everything worse, it just seems like Trunks and I are growing apart. I feel like I’m nothing more than his babysitter and that he doesn’t want to grow up and have a reality check. And unlike me, he has the choice over whether or not he needs to be responsible.”

Sniffing slightly, I throw my wadded up tissue to the floor, ignoring the disgusted look on Gohan’s face. Seriously, finally having that all off my chest makes me feel like I can breath again, but it doesn’t lessen my frustration or give me any clear picture as to what it is I should do. I think Gohan realizes this because he stands up and heads over to my telephone, gingerly stepping over the garbage and dirty clothes that have accumulated throughout my apartment.

“What are you doing?” I ask him as he picks up the phone and starts dialing a number.

“First, I’m calling Videl to let her know I’m not going to be home for supper. Not that she’ll really mind. And secondly, I’m calling Wu’s Noodles for take out. I’m starved, and eating always helps me to think better. So while we’re waiting for food, why don’t you go clean up? I mean, you seriously smell like something died. And while you’re doing that, I’m going to start cleaning up this mess. I don’t know how you can live in it on a day to day basis.”

Grumbling slightly to myself, I mouth off ‘Yes mother,’ while his back is turned as he talks into the telephone before following his directions. Sometimes, I think Gohan would make a better wife than a husband.

Within ten minutes, I’m showered. Pulling on a pair of boxers, I don’t even bother to put on anymore clothes before stepping back into my living room. True to his word, Gohan’s been busy cleaning and the pizza boxes and dirty clothes that had been occupying the floor are all neatly picked up. Jumping over the futon, I sit on it and try to find the remote once again.

Looking around, I can hear Gohan rummaging around in my bedroom.

“Hey Gohan, where did you put the remote?” I yell at him from where I’m seated.

His reply is muffled. Most likely, he’s doing something sissified like cleaning out my closet. He has the odd habit of doing strange things like that, and it’s only gotten worse the longer he’s been married to Videl. I used to laugh with Trunks over how Videl wears the pants in Gohan’s relationship with her, but the truth is, she’s lucky to have such a great guy like him. And I’m lucky that he’s my brother because when it all comes down to it, he genuinely cares about my well being more so than anyone else does.

Shaking my head slightly, I yell back at him again.

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said, I threw it in the garbage can. And I asked you were it is you keep your vacuum cleaner.”

Jumping about a foot in the air, I quickly regain my equilibrium and spin around, giving Gohan a hateful look for scaring the shit out of me.

“Fuck Gohan, don’t scare me like that! And you threw out my remote control? Why’d you do something as stupid as that?”

He just shrugs his shoulders before he wanders over to the door where he dropped his briefcase. Picking it up, he brings it over to the futon and sits next to me, placing it on the coffee table before snapping it open and grabbing a tablet of paper and a pen.

Glaring at him for ignoring my concern, my slight anger slowly dissolves into curiosity.

“What are you doing Gohan? I thought you wanted to know where I keep my vacuum?”

He nods his head thoughtfully before he takes his pen and sticks it behind his ear.

“Yeah, I wanted to know but I realized that you probably don’t even have one. Anyway, while we wait for the takeout to arrive, I’m going to help you come up with a plan to get you out of this rut you seem to be in. And you’re going to promise to follow through with it, understand?”

Nodding my head in agreement, I fiddle with my thumbs while he makes a table of sorts. He’s always been a linear thinker and in reference to his nerdiness, I think he has to make everything as neat and organized as he can, including his notes. In that respect, we’re complete opposites.

“Okay, first of all Goten, do you like your job in sales?”

“No, I fucking hate it. Okay, I’m decent at it, but my boss is an ass and I don’t feel like going into the nitty-gritty about what it is that makes him an ass.”

Gohan grins at me sheepishly before scratching his head with his pen and then scribbling something down on his pad of paper.

“Okay, I kind of figured that out already. Have you looked at getting a different job?”

Shaking my head yes, he asks me what kind of companies I’ve been applying for and if there have been any tangible results. Leaning backwards, I cross by arms behind my head, trying to come up with an answer that doesn’t make me look foolish.

“Well, the only thing I have experience in is sales, so I’ve applied for sales jobs with companies like Centrix and Vastio, the two main competitors with Capsule. But I haven’t heard anything from them and my communications degree isn’t very marketable. It just feels…hopeless, like I’ll be stuck selling used cars for Mr. Nezumi for the rest of my natural existence.”

“Did you call any of those companies back to inquire about your application? You’ve got to keep hounding them Goten, otherwise they’ll figure you aren’t really interested in the position you applied for. And if you can sell used cars with the amount of success you have, especially considering who it is you work for, I don’t see why those companies wouldn’t be interested in you. But I don’t think that’s the underlying problem.”

Rolling my eyes, I ask him what it is that he thinks the problem is.

“I think you don’t like sales. Honestly, I was surprised when you took that job to begin with. You’re just…you’re just an all around nice guy Goten, and I don’t think your personality really coincides with the blood thirsty and highly competitive aspect of sales. Now, I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but that’s the truth.”

Shifting downward into the cushions, I frown slightly. The truth is, I know he’s exactly right. The only reason I took that job was because I needed one that made a decent amount of money. And it was a real job, not like the one I had while I worked my way through community college as a recreation assistant for the local boys and girls club. In all honesty, I had actually really enjoyed working for the boys and girls club. It was much more my style than selling cars, except that it made much less money and Trunks would constantly make fun of how sissy the job was, coming up with games and playing with kids all day when I wasn’t at school.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t like sales at all, but what else am I qualified to do?”

I can see the wheels turning inside Gohan’s head as he brings his pen to his mouth and starts sucking on it. After a couple of minutes, he takes it out and starts to write something down on his pad of paper when the door bell rings, announcing the arrival of our food. I’m about to stand when he pushes me back into my futon and gets up, brushing off his pants and extracting his wallet as he makes his way over to the door and opens it.

The transaction only takes a few minutes, and before I know it, the two of us are chowing down on Wu’s delicious homemade noodles. In less than five minutes, the numerous containers of noodles and sliced meat are empty as Gohan and I just sit, letting our bellies expand with the food we were in desperate need of.

“Ahh, that was great! Much better than Videl’s cooking any day.”

Looking over at him, I smirk before punching him in the shoulder, earning a laugh in return.

“No wonder you didn’t want to go home for dinner if you think so poorly of your wife’s cooking skills. But if I were you, I wouldn’t ever tell her that you think she’s a bad cook.”

“Nah, she’s not bad. I mean, at least she doesn’t burn everything she cooks anymore. But Wu’s…I haven’t had his noodles in years. That’s what happens when you choose to live in the middle of nowhere.”

With that said, we both get up and start cleaning up the mess from our gluttonous feast. Pulling a garbage bag out from under the sink, I hold it open as Gohan stuffs the containers and chopsticks inside. Once everything is cleared away, I close up the bag and throw it on the pile that Gohan had started when he had been cleaning my apartment before moving back to the futon where Gohan is already seated, writing something on his pad of paper.

“So Goten, what do you like? What are you good at, besides selling used cars?”

I think about his questions for a minute or so while I pick at the lint on my boxer shorts. What do I like? What am I good at? I want to tell him that I’m not really good at anything and my likes are too insignificant to count, but I know that Gohan won’t accept those statements as good enough answers. Closing my eyes, I just start listing off things that come to mind.

“Martial arts, eating, watching TV, goofing around, Trunks…”

“Okay, stop. While those are things you like, I don’t think you really understand what it is I’m asking Goten. What does liking Trunks have to do with figuring out what you want to do with your life? Or eating and watching TV? Maybe I should just rephrase the question. How about this: If you could go back to school and become something else, what would you want to become?”

I don’t even really think before I blurt out an answer and I’m surprised at what my mind spits out. It’s something I’d never really considered before, even though some of my past experiences should have sort of pointed me in that direction.

“A teacher.”

I don’t think Gohan was expecting that, and in all honesty, I wasn’t expecting to have that come out of my mouth. I mean, me, a teacher? You have to be really smart to teach other people stuff and I’ve never considered myself to be very bright. I struggled through community college, and if it hadn’t been for Gohan and Trunks tutoring me in some of the areas I struggled with, I probably wouldn’t have made it out of there with a B average. Still, growing up, I had helped teach martial arts at the local dojo near where I lived, and then I had that job planning and carrying out activities with the kids at the boys and girls club. And both of those things, I had really enjoyed them and it wasn’t hard for me to do.

“Really Goten? Because you know, I think you’d be good at that sort of thing. You have much more patience when it comes to dealing with getting others to understand things than I ever did. And since I know school wasn’t exactly easy for you, that kind of history helps build you into a better teacher because you understand where your students are coming from when they have a problem. However, you know what that means, if you’re really serious?”

Well, I don’t know if I was really serious about it or not. All I know is that I really need a change and part of that change means finding something fulfilling in my life, something I can be proud about doing. Something that doesn’t involve swindling the general public of their hard earned money.

Scratching my chest I glance over to where he’s sitting as he carefully watches me while sucking on his damn pen.

“No, I don’t really know what that means. It just sort of blurted out of my mouth. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Goten, you wouldn’t have said if it wasn’t something you secretly wanted. And there isn’t anything to be ashamed about, wanting to be a teacher. It doesn’t mean you’re a nerd or geek, if that’s what you’re worried about. It just means you like working with young people. But it also means you’re going to have to go back to school. I don’t know much about teaching programs, but once I get home, I’ll surf the web and get some ideas to give you when you come over for my birthday party tomorrow.”

Looking at him, I can feel my face starting to heat. I know it’s Gohan’s birthday party and I had originally been scheduled to get that day off. However, because of a certain jerk, that isn’t going to be happening.

“Look, Gohan…about tomorrow. I…I can’t make it. I asked for the day off a while back, but Nezumi decided to change the schedule at the last minute today because he fired someone and now I have to cover. It’s just another shitty reason why I currently hate my life and my job.”

I can tell he’s disappointed but his face suddenly firms as he pinches his lips together in a tight line.

“Quit, Goten. What have you got to lose? I’m normally not the kind of person who would advocate such drastic measures, but why keep on with a job you hate and a boss who can’t honor his promises? I think it’s time for you to take the plunge Goten.”

I know he’s right, but I don’t like the thought of not being able to pay my rent or utilities because I suddenly find myself without an income. And I’m not about to grovel up to Trunks and beg for a job while I try to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life.

“I plan on quitting, but just up and doing it tomorrow, what am I supposed to do in the mean time, Gohan? I’ve got bills to pay and while I have a some money saved up, I don’t know how long it would last if I don’t have something coming in to supplement it. So, sorry bro, but I’m not going to be able to make it tomorrow. I’ll try to come over in the evening, but I’ll miss out on the party.”

I can tell that he’s disappointed, but he shakes his head in understanding as he puts his paper and pen back inside his briefcase. Once that’s accomplished, he slowly stands up and makes his way towards the door. Standing in front of it, he turns back towards where I’m still seated on the futon in my underwear.

“I…I’m not going to pretend that I’m not disappointed, but I can understand where you’re coming from Goten. You’ve become…responsible, and with responsibility comes making some tough decisions and not being able to always do the things that you want to do. You’re a good guy Goten, and I don’t want to hear or see you talking down about yourself again, got that? And if Trunks acts like an ass, go over and beat some sense into him. I don’t think he realizes how much the things he says to you affect your decisions…and your happiness. Just make sure you come in the evening. I’ll have information for you and a plan of action ready to go.”

Pulling myself out of the futon, I nod my head in agreement and then walk over to the doorway. Wrapping my arms around Gohan, I give him a hug that conveys how much I really appreciate his visiting me and trying to help me find my way out of my crappy situation.

“Thanks Gohan.”

Letting go, I back away slightly and I take in his goofy grin, the one we both inherited from our father.

“Hey, no problem. That’s what big brothers are for. Just…get some sleep and come over when you get done selling cars. Oh, and if you get the chance, I’d call up that boys and girls club you worked at and see if they have a full time position open. It wouldn’t hurt, you know.”

With that said, he opens the door and leaves my apartment, taking off into the sky as he heads home in the deepening evening.

Closing the door behind me, I walk over to the kitchen sink and open the tap. Sticking my head underneath the running water, I take in few swallows before shutting it off and leaning against the counter.

At least after talking with Gohan, my life doesn’t seem to be heading in a continuing downward spiral, although I know if I decide to go back to school, or even if I decide to quit my job and work at the boys and girls club, things aren’t going to get any easier right away. And then there is Trunks. If what Gohan said was true, than it seems it would be up to me to fix things between us. However, deep down inside my gut, I know that even if we make up with each other, he won’t understand this need for me to figure out what it is that I’m meant to do. And he won’t be content until he figures out why I’ve started to become jealous over the time he spends with other people, namely other females. I know I’m not prepared to delve into that arena of questioning because in all honesty, even I haven’t completely tried to answer that question. The truth can be a scary thing and sometimes, it’s easier to bury and avoid it than confront it.

With that final thought in my mind, I leave the kitchen and head to my bedroom to take up Gohan’s advice and get a good night’s rest before I have to get up and face another awful day.
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Sorry that there wasn’t any Trunks in this chapter. He’ll be in the next one for sure. I hope the flow of this chapter goes along with what I’ve written so far, and I hope you don’t think I’m crazy for envisioning Goten as a teacher. He kind of reminds me of Umino Iruka from Naruto, so I could see him being an elementary teacher, or something of the sort. And he needs a confidence booster. Please let me know what you think with a review. I really, really appreciate them.