What I series
folder
Gundam Wing/AC › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
6
Views:
478
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gundam Wing/AC › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
6
Views:
478
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
Dun own Gundam Wing. *sniffs* Make no money. *cries*
Desire ~ Quatre
Author's Notes:
Disclaimers: Make no money. Own nothing. Poor me!
A/N: Never really thought about writing another chapter to the 'What I' series, but here I am again, starting a new fic to get the plot bunnies that my muses don't 'rid' me of to go away. So, enjoy this! I don't write much 4+3+4, do I?
No one ever bothers to check the happy ones, do they? Put on a face, go another day, deal with normal things, never crack, and everyone thinks you're fine. But, what if you aren't fine? What if your biggest wish is to just crawl up with all your sins, all the blood on your hands, and never wake up? What about that? Still think I'm so fucking happy? Screw you.
Time around Duo has dulled me to such words. When I'm alone, in my large houses, in my office in my empty and dank buildings around the Earth Sphere, or in my car, being driven by my chauffer, I say every foul word I can think of. It helps sometimes. At others, it just makes matters worse. I hate my life.
Duo and Wufei have found some sort of mutual happiness in their common lost and love for one another. I'm happy for them. I smile when Duo calls me, looking genuinely happy for the first time since I met him all that time ago. I laugh when Wufei cuts one of his dry jokes at Duo's expense. I smile and nod, smile and nod, and secretly hate them.
Yes, it's true! I *hate* my best friend and his lover, who are more like family than my twenty-nine sisters. I *want* what they have. And because I don't have it, I hate them.
If you don't like it, so fucking what? It's the truth, and if I can't be truthful with myself, then all hope is lost, isn't it? Oh, I'm feeling particularly bitter today. Yes, yes, I am. Bite me! Go to Hell! Kiss my ass! Losers, all of you, that's what you are! I hate...
Me. That's whom I really hate. I hate the fact that my life is so empty that I secretly hate my friends. I hate the fact that the person I care for the most doesn't notice me, unless, of course, my negotiating abilities are needed for Lady Une.
Yeah, that's right, Trowa! I hate you almost as much as I love you, and almost as much as I hate myself. I hate the way my heart flutters just thinking about you. I hate the way my mouth goes dry when you walk up to me in those impossibly tight jeans you always seem to have on. The ones that look like they're painted on. You know the ones. You're not dumb, and I'm suffering from hormone overload, I guess.
So, what do I normally do when I get like this? I usually hole myself up in my music room, pound away at the piano for a few hours, or I pick up my violin and play the saddest piece I know by heart. Well, I can't do that one for a while. At least, not until I replace my violin. It's a real shame too. That one was beautiful.
So, what am I doing now? I'm sitting in my office, in my house, glaring at the cold, empty books around me, and wishing whole-heartedly that I were with... my friends.
My life, it sucks, you know. It's lonely, cold, meaningless, and leads me to moments like this. To the times where I feel like I want to smash something just to hear it break. To the times where I end up screaming just to break up the quiet air that is always around me.
Why do others think that because I'm the head of this huge conglomerate that they have to treat me like I'm some form of royalty? When do I ever get to be the normal eighteen year old boy that I *should* be? When do I ever get to think about myself for just FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!
Oh, crap. I liked that vase.
But you know, in an odd way, I feel better. There's something to be said about senseless destruction. The release it gives just makes it worth the thousand or so creds it's going to cost to replace that piece of shit. And the feeling of just giving someone the finger is oppressing me. Maybe I will just...
Ahhhh. Much better.
Do you know what I desire most in this world? Not sex, or money (Allah knows I have enough of it), or fame (don't think I could handle being more infamous than I already am), or anything trivial like that. What I *desire*, crave, desperately *need* is... unconditional love. Not fraternal love. Not familial. Not friendly. I want someone to come home to. Someone who will just *know* when I feel like shit, and just make it all go away when they hold me. Someone who doesn't even have to say anything. Just be there.
I guess that's asking too much, huh? I want what Duo finally has... I want....
Fuck it all....
Disclaimers: Make no money. Own nothing. Poor me!
A/N: Never really thought about writing another chapter to the 'What I' series, but here I am again, starting a new fic to get the plot bunnies that my muses don't 'rid' me of to go away. So, enjoy this! I don't write much 4+3+4, do I?
No one ever bothers to check the happy ones, do they? Put on a face, go another day, deal with normal things, never crack, and everyone thinks you're fine. But, what if you aren't fine? What if your biggest wish is to just crawl up with all your sins, all the blood on your hands, and never wake up? What about that? Still think I'm so fucking happy? Screw you.
Time around Duo has dulled me to such words. When I'm alone, in my large houses, in my office in my empty and dank buildings around the Earth Sphere, or in my car, being driven by my chauffer, I say every foul word I can think of. It helps sometimes. At others, it just makes matters worse. I hate my life.
Duo and Wufei have found some sort of mutual happiness in their common lost and love for one another. I'm happy for them. I smile when Duo calls me, looking genuinely happy for the first time since I met him all that time ago. I laugh when Wufei cuts one of his dry jokes at Duo's expense. I smile and nod, smile and nod, and secretly hate them.
Yes, it's true! I *hate* my best friend and his lover, who are more like family than my twenty-nine sisters. I *want* what they have. And because I don't have it, I hate them.
If you don't like it, so fucking what? It's the truth, and if I can't be truthful with myself, then all hope is lost, isn't it? Oh, I'm feeling particularly bitter today. Yes, yes, I am. Bite me! Go to Hell! Kiss my ass! Losers, all of you, that's what you are! I hate...
Me. That's whom I really hate. I hate the fact that my life is so empty that I secretly hate my friends. I hate the fact that the person I care for the most doesn't notice me, unless, of course, my negotiating abilities are needed for Lady Une.
Yeah, that's right, Trowa! I hate you almost as much as I love you, and almost as much as I hate myself. I hate the way my heart flutters just thinking about you. I hate the way my mouth goes dry when you walk up to me in those impossibly tight jeans you always seem to have on. The ones that look like they're painted on. You know the ones. You're not dumb, and I'm suffering from hormone overload, I guess.
So, what do I normally do when I get like this? I usually hole myself up in my music room, pound away at the piano for a few hours, or I pick up my violin and play the saddest piece I know by heart. Well, I can't do that one for a while. At least, not until I replace my violin. It's a real shame too. That one was beautiful.
So, what am I doing now? I'm sitting in my office, in my house, glaring at the cold, empty books around me, and wishing whole-heartedly that I were with... my friends.
My life, it sucks, you know. It's lonely, cold, meaningless, and leads me to moments like this. To the times where I feel like I want to smash something just to hear it break. To the times where I end up screaming just to break up the quiet air that is always around me.
Why do others think that because I'm the head of this huge conglomerate that they have to treat me like I'm some form of royalty? When do I ever get to be the normal eighteen year old boy that I *should* be? When do I ever get to think about myself for just FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!
Oh, crap. I liked that vase.
But you know, in an odd way, I feel better. There's something to be said about senseless destruction. The release it gives just makes it worth the thousand or so creds it's going to cost to replace that piece of shit. And the feeling of just giving someone the finger is oppressing me. Maybe I will just...
Ahhhh. Much better.
Do you know what I desire most in this world? Not sex, or money (Allah knows I have enough of it), or fame (don't think I could handle being more infamous than I already am), or anything trivial like that. What I *desire*, crave, desperately *need* is... unconditional love. Not fraternal love. Not familial. Not friendly. I want someone to come home to. Someone who will just *know* when I feel like shit, and just make it all go away when they hold me. Someone who doesn't even have to say anything. Just be there.
I guess that's asking too much, huh? I want what Duo finally has... I want....
Fuck it all....