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Atavism	By : ctsama Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 9193 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball Super, Resurrection 'F', or Battle of Gods or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Balance

//How did you even find me here?//

“I’ll always find you. I’m just sorry it took me so long to get back to Earth to help you.” Goku wanted to take Vegeta into his arms but balked at how much pain it would bring. He settled for scooting as close as he could to that prone body, and lightly stroking the back of the hand that he refused to release. “I panicked when you called out to me and it took Whis a few minutes to help me figure out what to do.”

//Save your apologies. You got back to Earth even though you weren’t expecting to have to do it without my help.//

“I’m afraid to ask, but I need to know. What happened while we weren’t in communication? Why was Gohan with you? Vegeta, did… Did Beerus rape you?”

Vegeta shuddered, looking away from him. //...no. But gods damn it, it was close. Apparently he’d always had some perverse interest in male child-bearers but this was the first time he was able to get his hands on one. Gohan came on his own because he knew what Beerus was going to try. Kakarot, he’s back to full power. He used the Dragon Balls to wish it back.//

All the color drained from Goku’s face at the thought of Vegeta so vulnerable, caught between those two. “I… I tried to tell him to stay away from you, what did he-”

Vegeta managed a minute shake of his head. //It wasn’t like that. He could have taken me by killing you and hijacking the bond at just the right time. Beerus told Gohan exactly how to do it in the hopes that he’d be grateful enough to become his new enforcer.//

Goku’s heart hammered in his chest. It was the stuff of his own nightmares, and as weak as he’d been when he’d arrived on Earth there wouldn’t have been a thing he could have done to stop it. He had to force himself to keep listening.

//Gohan lost it for a little bit, but he didn’t give in this time. He saved me from Beerus, fought to keep from turning on me and gave me the time I needed to help you get to me faster. If he hadn’t shown up… it would have been a much worse story.//

It was a mad tale, and Goku found he couldn’t quite process it. He pushed past it all - including the part of himself that resented his son’s involvement even though it had been for the best. “I can’t believe it but… thank goodness. Oh Vegeta, I was so afraid I couldn’t think straight!”

//I’m… sorry. For the things I was saying. I know you aren’t trying to keep me weak, that you’re not just trying to use me like… like everyone else.//

It’s all right, I understand-

//No, you don’t. I’m out of control, nothing but a rabid animal like this. You have to put me down before I do something even the Dragon Balls won’t be able to fix.//

“Put you… no. No!” Goku shouted, horrified.

Vegeta’s gaze was sad, pitying even. //There’s no other way. I don’t want to hurt you anymore with the nonsense I’ll be spewing, and if you don’t control me there’s no telling how much damage I’ll do and I refuse to become another Beerus. I had hoped it would never come to this, but… it was always a possibility, Kakarot. I meant it when I said I was broken; that should be painfully obvious by now. You’ll always be able to come talk to me like this, I should keep my memory now.//

“Yeah? Well that’s not good enough, not even close! Maybe you’d considered that an option, but ordering you into catatonia for eternity isn’t something I could ever do! Besides, I wasn’t bluffing . I really do understand what’s happening. I know how to get you out of here, you have to let me help you!”

//I… can’t. I don’t even like that you’ve gotten this far.//

Rejection. “Vegeta… You’d really rather stay trapped in this… this awful nightmare all alone than let me in? Don’t you… want me?”

//What does that even matter?! This is my hell, my existence, it’s why I’ve been able to keep this from you for so long. Don’t you get that this is for your own good? I don’t know how else to save you, if I let you in this deep you could end up stuck here too if I lose control again! I’m the only one who should have to be here. I won't be responsible for ruining you Kakarot, you deserve better than this!//

“Stop!” Goku cried out, unable to take it anymore. He dragged Vegeta up, ignoring his gasps of pain and covering his mouth with his own, uncaring of the bile and blood he tasted. Vegeta had been stuck here with it for forty years, he wouldn’t back away from that suffering. His easy gentleness seemed to connect with the broken part of Vegeta as it almost always did and Goku felt him hesitating.

Stop this! This is all my fault!

//What… what are you talking about? You’re not to blame for any of this!//

Goku released his lips and Vegeta was taken aback by the sorrow in those normally smiling eyes.

“Yes, I am. There was always a part of you - this place - I couldn’t touch. I’ve always felt it. It started off small so I didn’t worry about it, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger, starting around the time when Beerus woke up. You were pulling away from me and… I knew it. I knew something was wrong, I knew you needed help but I just put it on you to ask for it, telling myself you’d come to me when you needed me. Deep down I knew… that you couldn’t.”

//...Why?//

Goku flinched from the pain in that single question. Vegeta had trusted him to hold them together, and instead he’d left Vegeta to drift alone because of his own insecurities. “Because… I was afraid of what you’d say if I pushed you the way I should have. And that… you’d find out just how much more I really wanted from you and and you’d hate me for it. You were putting me first, trying to protect me the only way you knew how: at your own expense. And I damn well know that’s not how this is supposed to work, even if you don’t. I could have stopped things from getting this bad if I just hadn’t been so afraid.”

Vegeta couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was wrong, it was so wrong, but… //You said… you were going to make mistakes.//

“Yes,” Goku said, his eyes welling with relief. “Big mistakes, apparently.”

//I’m going to assume this is one of those times.//

“I’d say that’s pretty clear. But I won’t make that mistake again, and I’m here to fix it, just like I promised. I get it now, I know what to do. Everything that eats away at you, it all starts here. No matter what we do you’re going to keep hitting a crisis point as long this place in your mind is here. I have to destroy it.”

//Right. And how the hell do you propose to do that?!//

Goku didn’t rise to the challenge, gazing levelly back at Vegeta. “You know how.”

Vegeta paled, and didn’t argue it further. “We’ve got to get you out of here first though,” Goku continued. “But I need your help for this one. All you have to do is tell me what you want.”

//It’s not that simple!//

“Like hell it’s not. You aren’t alone anymore. I’m with you now, and this won’t end the way it has before. You open the doors. I’ll take us through them.” Vegeta kept glancing at the looming door beyond Goku’s back. After a brief silence Goku just had to ask. “What is it?”

//Out there, you… you saw…?//

Goku’s jaw tightened so hard he couldn’t speak at first. “I did,” he finally he answered gravely.   Vegeta felt a wave of nausea. He’d told Goku about this place and what had happened here, but aside from the occasional nightmare he’d never seen it. What he must think of him now that it had become more real was-

“You fought so hard,” Goku said, his voice finally breaking as he interrupted his swirling thoughts. “I always knew you had, but seeing what you were able to do… You’re amazing, Vegeta.”

Vegeta only stared up at him in shock for a moment, amazed that Goku had seen only strength out there in that ruined apartment, not weakness.

It was enough to make him believe.

//Kakarot… get me the hell out of here.//

The sound of two doors opening reached them. Not wasting a second Goku’s arms tightened again around that broken body and lifted him, cradled him against his own chest. He could feel broken bones grinding painfully, the agony of internal injuries aggravated by the move and winced in sympathy, but nothing would stop either one of them now.

Don’t look. It wasn’t an order but Vegeta complied, letting Goku help him bury his face in that familiar gi and squeezing his eyes shut for good measure, in no hurry to see the place again even to say goodbye to it. A fast walk carried them out one door, then another and as soon as Goku’s foot passed the threshold they were back on that desolate alien planet staring into each other’s eyes.

Vegeta shuddered; his body still screamed for fulfillment and the madness continued to swirl. But as long as he held tight to the fragile lifeline of Goku’s presence he could at least stay above it.

A tremor wracked Goku’s body as well as he furiously worked to rein in the power that threatened to explode out of him. “Don’t stop now, Vegeta. What do you want from me? Just tell me, that’s all you have to do.”

Shaky fingers threaded through Goku’s hair and he gasped, hoping Vegeta meant what he thought he meant. Vegeta’s fingers pressed down until Goku’s lips hovered frozen above the sensitive skin of his neck. A cold sweat burst from Goku’s forehead. It was everything he wanted but he took a breath, not immediately taking what was offered. He needed to be clear; there would be no going back after this.

...Do you understand what you’re asking for? If I do this… if I hold you as tightly as I want to you’ll never go back there again, you’ll finally be free of it. But I won’t be able to let up again, there will be no more hiding from me. I’ll always feel what you feel the way you can with me. That’s what I want, that’s what I’ve wanted since the beginning. To never be apart from you no matter what. Please, tell me you want that too and I’ll make it happen.

Vegeta still felt as though he were sealing his mate’s doom and wanted to resist what Goku was telling him. But he trusted Goku. Part of him always had, from the start.

Another wall crumbled, another surrender given. //We want… the same thing.// Goku’s joy filled him, but it was tempered with regret.

What I have to do is… I’m going to hurt you, Vegeta.

It was heartbreaking. Vegeta knew almost every flavor of pain that existed, and yet Goku begrudged him this pain that would bring an end to so many others. He still didn’t believe he deserved that level of consideration, but he had it and wasn’t fool enough to let it go, not now. He tipped his head back in further invitation. //I like it… when you burn… me. Idiot.//

Vegeta felt Goku tremble in his arms. Whether Goku was doing as he asked or he simply couldn’t control himself anymore didn’t matter. An explosion of power followed quickly on the heels of that familiar sharpness of Goku’s teeth digging into sensitive skin, and burn in it he did.

Goku flashed through so many colors, the gold of Super Saiyan, the deep crimson and electric blue of their god ki-infused states, the blinding white-blue brilliance of their fusion, and a new dusky red-violet they’d gained from defeating Beerus. Each transformation burned Vegeta’s body more and more and though his new power protected him from damage it was excruciating. The eruption of brilliance that tore through his mind, body and soul was beyond searing, it was…

Goku. It was simply… Goku, a kind of purity of spirit Vegeta never would have believed could exist if he hadn’t experienced it for himself.

Of course it hurt, it couldn’t not, not with all the power their bodies now held and with the sheer brilliance of Goku’s presence blasting into the darkest depths of his mind. Even now if it weren’t for Goku’s restraining grip holding his waist and neck his body’s involuntary twisting and bucking would have wrenched him free by now. But it was a good, clean pain, like the jolt of a direct hit in battle that washed away all else.

He shivered helplessly as Goku went to war with the worst parts of him, trying to burn out the infection of the soul that held him crippled. If it were anyone else he wouldn’t have believed this could work, but he knew better than anyone that no one and no thing could stand against his mate’s dogged determination.

With a final push that left Vegeta screaming that room and all it symbolized imploded. With nothing left to ground it all the anger and rage that was drowning him receded. Freeza’s cool touch and disgusting words burned away. Beerus’ callous treatment, his threats and unwanted, grasping hands burned away as well. More startling, something he could never have dreamed: even the abuses of the past, though still there and still painful felt calloused over. They no longer had the same hold on him that they once did.

It took him a moment to feel Goku’s hands pushing him to the fractured earth, heedlessly ripping the fabric from his body in his haste to sate his hunger, to sink himself inside his lover, his other half and unite them both. Vegeta returned the favor in fevered desperation and Goku’s skin tingled wherever Vegeta’s hands touched him.

The heat and pain tearing Vegeta’s body apart were unbearable and he was helpless to stop a cry of agony from clawing its way out of his throat. Goku answered that pain, pulling his hips onto his thighs and shoving into him hard. Vegeta’s body, so hot and more than ready for him opened to him eagerly, yielding to his invasion into its depths and he very nearly spent himself before he’d fully sheathed himself.

That hard length Vegeta had so desperately needed for over a day now finally filled him and the release was almost more than his system could handle. Waves of pleasure crashed through him, leeching much of the pain out of the fire tearing through him. It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t anywhere near enough but Goku had stilled deep inside him, staring at him with an intensity that was jarring.

Vegeta, will you bear me children? He pleaded with everything he had in him. Let me stand by you and show you how it’s supposed to be?

For all that he trusted Goku a part of him was still terrified of being pregnant again. All he could do was answer honestly, he owed it. //I’m not ready...//

“You’re never going to be ready, Vegeta. Not alone. Remember how good it felt to have Piccolo there with you?” And it had. As independent a creature as he was it had surprised him how good it had felt to have someone there to help him deliver the girls.

A sudden smile graced Goku’s features, strained but genuine in its amusement and exasperation. “You Prince of Dense. You missed me during those first two pregnancies, I know you did. And with the girls… Well, you needed someone there to keep you safe, to protect you from being terrorized. …How good do you think it’s going to feel when it’s me, every day right there with you?”

Vegeta gasped, eyes wide and Goku just touched his face, kissed him gently and reveled for a moment in the overwhelming answer he received. //Yes!//

Goku gripped his hips tight and began moving again. He pounded into Vegeta’s welcoming heat, his grunts and groans turning into cries of intense pleasure as Vegeta clenched his legs against his sides and tightened around his cock once more. A few thrusts into that molten body were enough to pull his climax out of him and he cried out Vegeta’s name.

He panted with the force of it, frowning. He’d felt Vegeta’s body spasming around him again but he’d heard… nothing. He raised himself just enough to see that Vegeta had once again mauled his lip to stop any sounds from escaping. “Vegeta… your voice…” Vegeta turned his head to the side, still shivering and a flare of anger passed through Goku.

It happened that way sometimes, when something made that dirty feeling come back. It was all part of ‘the drill,’ as Vegeta had finally explained after he’d asked and asked about it. So many others had demanded his voice in surrender, and so Vegeta had learned to lock it away in refusal. But it always came back because he alone made Vegeta feel safe, he alone brought him pleasure. The pleasure part was easy especially now, but…

He wasn’t doing his job. He sat back on his heels and dragged Vegeta up once more, sinking even deeper into his mate’s overheated body even as Vegeta’s legs locked around his waist. He tangled his hand into the skyward reaching locks as Vegeta’s eyes squeezed tight, trying not to be so overwhelmed by the intense sensations tearing through him, trying to find some measure of control again…

Screw that! You don’t need control right now. Look at me. Vegeta dragged his eyes open, looking up into deep reddish-violet eyes that were warm and gentle, at odds with the strength in the arms that held him, the force of the thrusts that had jolted his body.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Vegeta thought in confusion. His silence was involuntary, and would pass - given time. It wasn’t as though he was still unwilling, there was no need to be concerned about it now. Goku responded to his thoughts without hesitation.   “I know it would eventually come back, but that’s not good enough. I want it back now. Your voice is mine.”

It surprised Vegeta when he realized what Goku was doing, not letting anything troubling pass without being resolved. He hadn’t been screwing around when he said he wasn’t going to make the same mistake of letting things get away from them again.

I’m here now. Let go.

Vegeta’s eyes widened. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard those words. He’d given in the first time he’d heard them and Goku had kept him safe then, had cared for him when he hadn’t had the strength to defend himself.

This was everything Vegeta had ever wanted and believed he didn’t deserve, all he had to do was learn to surrender to it. It went against everything he was and yet, if he could do it for anyone, it would be this contradiction of a Saiyan warrior.

Goku had, in fact, been there through all the crap they’d endured to get this far and hadn’t forsaken him. And Goku had fervently rejected every single ‘out’ Vegeta had tried to give him. It was time to accept the fact that Goku wasn’t going anywhere because…

He just didn’t want to. Come what may, he and Goku were in it together.

Goku was still watching him anxiously. “Say something, anything!”

“K- Kaka-rot,” he managed softly, the final surrender. “Kakarot!”

The sound of his name coming from Vegeta’s lips made Goku’s gut kick, and he found his own unshakable control flying to the winds. His fingers tightened around Vegeta’s hips, pulling him hard onto him and he pounded into that unbelievable heat relentlessly. Vegeta’s musical cries of pleasure finally, finally filled his ears. He feverishly embraced the urgency of the moment, knowing that Vegeta was truly his now, completely open to him and him alone. And that soon he would be with child again and Goku couldn’t wait for that moment. He grasped that sensitive tail and Vegeta came again without warning, arching into him in surprise and the tightening of that delicious body around his cock brought Goku with him.

They both shivered and panted harshly for a moment but only that; the storm inside Vegeta had yet to spend itself.

“More, Kakarot, more!” Vegeta whimpered helplessly, pulling at Goku’s shoulders and bucking his hips into him.

Goku obliged him in action, pushing Vegeta back onto the ground, falling with him. His hips fit so perfectly in the cradle of Vegeta’s thighs, pulling almost all the way out and plunging himself back in so hard they both shook from the force. Though he still blazed away and Vegeta remained in his base form Goku had no concern about his transformation harming Vegeta as he roared in pleasure, taut muscles straining against his body, fingernails digging into Goku’s back.

Suddenly needing to see, to watch and make sure this was real and not some fantasy Goku pushed away from Vegeta’s desperate embrace just enough to indulge himself. Vegeta’s arms uncurled from around him with a whimper, but it was worth the protest to see his mate in the throes of pleasure. Vegeta’s fingers found new purchase digging into his biceps, face upturned in ecstasy. Others had wanted this, but Vegeta belonged to him. “I’m the one who gets to touch you, only me. Only I get to hear your voice like this, only I get to feel you like this, only me!” An answering flare of heat from Vegeta surprised and jolted them both.

In Goku’s view, few things were worse than inaction. Being unable to help Vegeta while Freeza and Beerus tortured him and dragged his mind into darkness had been a kind of hell he never wanted to feel again. The force of his thrusts impossibly increased in response to his thoughts and Vegeta welcomed his ferocity, especially when strong fingers curled around his throat again, demanding his attention. “Never send me away again, Vegeta. Never, never, never!” he cried, succumbing to pleasure once more.

Vegeta’s cries of pleasure joined his own as they both found blinding release again. When awareness returned again Goku felt Vegeta’s arms around him, holding him tightly and murmuring softly. His body shook with the aftershocks of both his orgasm and the sobs that had wracked him. “I couldn’t help you, I didn’t even know what was happening. Don’t make me leave you again, please don’t ever…” Goku tried to stop, knew he was begging and that Vegeta had little patience for such nonsense. He tried and failed, and embarrassment filled him though he could not stop his tears. Now that the crisis had passed all the stress was pouring out of him relentlessly.

To his surprise he felt a wave of deep regret and apology. Vegeta rolled them over, shaking a little as the move dislodged Goku from inside him. “You shouldn’t hurt so much for me,” he murmured, wiping away those tears before claiming his lips with devastating skill before Goku could respond.    //I am yours now, just as much as you have been mine, Kakarot. I will never separate us so, ever again. You have my word.//

Goku’s relief was overwhelming. Vegeta just held him, at a loss. Maybe he’d gotten the worse end of it, but they’d both been scarred by such a harrowing ordeal.

Vegeta could feel Goku still hard against him and knew he could at least calm him down again. He grasped Goku’s wrists and pinned them over his head before sliding his hips backward, Slowly rocking himself onto that stiff flesh once more and shivering as it breached him, pushing deep inside.

His body still craved more of that rough, possessive claiming but he fought it to calm things down, to ease his mate’s tension. It was no easy task, but that he could even do so was a sure sign that his body was finally close to being sated.

It didn’t take long for him to turn Goku’s desperate sobs to turn into shuddering gasps, then cries of pleasure. He moaned in protest when Vegeta abandoned his mouth, but the licks and bites to the sensitive flesh of his throat were consolation enough. His entire world narrowed to the soft slide of Vegeta’s tail against the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, the slow back and forth of Vegeta’s body surrounding and squeezing him, taking him higher and higher until he could no longer bear it. Vegeta’s mouth was on his again, swallowing his cries as he came and he reveled in Vegeta’s satisfaction rumbling through him low and steady.

Vegeta released his wrists, then his lips with one final lick once he’d had his fill of those delicious sounds. “Vegeta,” Goku sighed, wondering at how much better he felt now. “What about you? Are you all right now? Are you still in pain?”

Vegeta grunted an assent but it wasn’t entirely true. His body still hadn’t had enough, but it would calm down after a while.

Goku’s eyes widened. “What?” Vegeta asked suspiciously.

“You’re lying, I can… I can feel you so much more clearly now. You’re not hurting near as much but you’re still too hot inside!”

His mate looked positively thrilled and Vegeta couldn’t help an amused snort, the idea of someone being that genuinely happy at catching someone lying to them was absurd.

He wasn’t amused for long though. Goku’s arms locked around his waist in a vice-like grip until he couldn’t move. Then he began pistoning his hips into him, driving out a hoarse shout. Cry after cry followed as Goku took advantage of his newfound freedom, thrusting himself farther into Vegeta’s mind than he’d ever been able to before.

Vegeta had been battling his exhaustion for a while now, and Goku giving him what he needed once more put a swift end to that fight. Vegeta began to go limp, unable to keep up with Goku’s pace or force. Goku suddenly pulled out of him and he whimpered at the loss, but the world spun and he was facedown on the ground with Goku thrusting into him again.

Sounds were being forced out of his lungs but he couldn’t hear them. All he could do was feel - feel Goku plunging into him over and over, feel both of their bodies nearing completion yet again. And more than anything else, he felt Goku in his mind and in his soul, overjoyed at the new depth of their bond.

Not once in his life had he ever thought he could make someone that happy.

The fleeting thought caused a surge in that happiness he felt from Goku, and the heat already pouring off of him blazed even higher. Vegeta’s vision began to swim and he knew he was close to passing out from the overload of pain and pleasure so perfectly blended. Goku’s body sang with pleasure as well and he felt a heady rush in such a complete surrender from Vegeta.

It couldn’t last. Vegeta was beyond words but when it hit his orgasm screamed through both of them. They came hard, Goku bucking his hips into that tight heat one last time. Utterly spent, Vegeta blacked out, body going limp even as aftershocks ripped through him.

Goku’s body demanded the same and he knew he couldn’t fight it. He managed to roll them none too gracefully onto their sides so he could hold Vegeta properly before following him into whatever dreams awaited. A smile found his lips as he drifted off as he was content in the knowledge that whatever tomorrow brought, they were finally - truly - going to face it together.

______________________________________________________________________________
Whis traveled to Earth first. He knew that Goku and Vegeta had still been there when he’d arrived back in his own Universe but they were gone by the time he’d arrived. Though it was impossible to tell just by looking at him he was as close to panic as he’d ever been.

No one on Earth had seen the end of the battle, not even Dende. They’d been too far from the planet. But the trace energies left behind told the story.

Whis hovered above the gas giant that had been his one-time student’s final resting place. Beerus, God of Destruction of Universe Seven, was no more.

Things had been happening so quickly he hadn’t had time to think about how he would feel about this. And now that eons worth of patience and planning had finally paid off, he still didn’t know how to feel.

Even if he’d wanted to mourn there was nothing left of Beerus to aid him.

And he found that all he really wanted to do was find his friend.

With a quick look into his staff for clues he left the solar system without a backward glance.

**********************************************************************************************************************
Next up: Not everyone is thrilled about the change in Universe Seven’s management.
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Atavism