Keeping My Hands Busy

Watching the blonde pass him to get back into the bathroom, Trowa waited for him to say something. He wasn’t going to push the boy with this. He had to do exactly as he was told, he didn’t trust himself to not touch the blonde if he wasn’t told not to. Quatre looked back as he set the clothes on the counter in the bathroom.

“How-” he cleared his throat and continued. “How hot do you want the water?” Trowa shrugged as he took a step into the small room.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” Receiving a quick nod, the blonde turned and sat on the edge of the tub and started the water. “Little one, I can wait, you don’t have to-”

“No.” Quatre cut him off. “I want to-to do this…I don’t like…I don’t like not being able to take a shower without thinking about…what happened. I think it will be easier if…if I can’t think about it.”

“This isn’t the way to go about getting over that fear little one.” Quatre pulled the small bar on the faucet up and watched the water start pouring out of the shower head.

“Trowa…can you just…humor me? I don’t…I know this isn’t a good idea, but if I don’t do it now…while I feel more like myself then I have in the last two years…then I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever do this.”

“Do what exactly?” Trowa was trying his damnedest not to break and do exactly what he was asking.

“I want you…to…try to scrub away the feeling.” The blonde mumbled under his breath. He still hadn’t looked up.

“Set me boundaries. Do it now so I don’t do something wrong.” Trowa hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t want to do something like this when the blonde was still so obviously against it.

“T-torso.”

“Hands only?” Receiving a quick nod Trowa pulled his shirt over his head, this wasn’t a good idea. Though as he toed off his shoes he caught the blonde glancing at him from under his eyelashes and he smiled to himself. He knew the blonde had another side to him during the war, one that wasn’t so…innocent, and he was thoroughly disappointed that he never had the chance to catch it. Bending over to take off his socks he looked up through his bangs and met the boys blue eyes.

Said boy immediately turned red, but Trowa was almost happy he didn’t turn away. Popping the button out of the hole on the top of his jeans, Trowa watched the blush travel down the boys neck. He briefly wondered how far that flush went, but stopped his train of thought as he pulled his zipper down.

“Are you going to join me? Or have you changed your mind?” Trowa asked quietly, putting no pressure on the blonde.

“Oh.” The boy hopped up from his seat and pulled his shirt off. Trowa didn’t miss the slight shaking of his little one’s hands. He would call an end to this if that shaking got any worse. Trowa let his pants fall into a puddle and stepped out of them as the blonde took off his shoes and socks. Catching the small glance from the boy as he undid the button to his own jeans, Trowa knew the other didn’t want him to watch and he immediately stepped into the shower, closing the curtain behind himself to give the other a little privacy.

He hadn’t realized that the room had already filled with steam and he had to force himself not to hiss when the water hit his skin. Well…if the blonde wanted to scrub away the feeling, hot water was definitely one way to go. Sighing to himself, he forced his feet to move forward to stand directly under the spray. It took all of twenty seconds for his body to become used to the stinging sensation.

“T-T-Trowa?”

“Hmm?” He turned toward the back of the shower where the voice had come from.

“Can I…get in?” The brunette shivered and nodded before realizing that the blonde couldn’t see him.

“Yes.” Seeing the curtain open just the slightest bit, he watched as a pale leg stepped over the rim of the tub. Seeing the dark blue silk boxers that the blonde was wearing, he had to mentally smack himself not to touch. He felt severely under dressed in plain green cotton boxers he had picked up after leaving the hospital. The blonde was way too good for him.

Looking up into the blue eyes of they boy, he stared. That flush went down to the bottom of his rib cage. Why was the boy blushing? They hadn’t even touched and-oh. Trowa realized that he was already dripping wet and the green boxers were already clinging to everything they were covering. Including the very interested ‘lil Trowa’. He tried to smile, just to play it off like it was nothing…but this was the most skin he had seen of the blonde and he was really enjoying the view.

Stepping to the side, Trowa watched as Quatre cautiously took two steps forward and traded him spots. The water flowed easily over the silk and immediately stuck the fabric to the blonde’s skin. Trowa knew better than to push his luck and just stood behind the other boy, waiting for any sign of what he should do next.

The blonde finally turned around and let the brunette look at him. Trowa could see the shaking and knew it wasn’t because the heat was getting to him. Taking a deep breath he slowly let it out and reached around the other boy to grab the bottle of shampoo. Pouring some into his hands, he handed the small bottle to the blonde and started to lather his own hair. He tried not to pay attention to the boy but his eyes kept drifting down his front. Trowa really didn’t want to admit how erotic this was. Being in the same shower and not touching…it wasn’t helping ‘lil Trowa’ lay down.

Taking a small step forward, the blonde understood and switched places with him again. Quatre would probably never admit how much he was actually enjoying watching the streaks of bubbles pass down the other’s body. He knew he had been caught staring when the brunette let out the slightest laugh.

“You know you’re allowed to touch…right? I’ll be good and keep my hands to myself.” Watching the red travel down the blondes chest Trowa immediately felt bad when he saw the slight undertone of green chase after the red. He switched spots with the blonde again to allow him to rinse off his hair. Now he knew what his little one had been staring at while he had done it. Grabbing the body wash Trowa started rubbing it on his arms.

Closing his eyes and trying to ignore the fact that the blonde was staring at him, he froze when he felt the blonde shift closer. It felt like forever, but he refused to move until his little one did what he was going to do. Hearing a quiet sigh from the blonde, he slowly opened his eyes and saw the boys shaking hands inches from his arms. Feeling his wet hands finally make the slightest contact to his bare forearms he completely relaxed his body. He couldn’t scare the blonde any more than he already was.

“C-C-C-Can I…w-w-wash-” Trowa nodded before the blonde had to force the rest of the question out. Feeling the hands slide up his arms, he tried to suppress the shiver that ran through his body.

“Little one, don’t push yourself.” He wasn’t going to comment on it, but the shaking had gotten so bad that he swore he could feel the shaking through his own body. Feeling the small hands move to his shoulders and start rubbing he almost forgot that the shaking was there. He felt so good, just to have his little ones hands on him was amazing. He sighed as he realized that Quatre was going to push himself through this. He didn’t want that, he wanted the boy to enjoy exploring his body…he knew the blonde would kick him out after this and he didn’t even try to kid himself by thinking any different.

“I want to.” Trowa moved very slowly and put his hands on the boys hips watching the immediate fear fill the blue eyes.

“We haven’t been this close to each other yet. If you really want to force yourself to be this close and this naked.” The blonde flinched at the word. “Why don’t we finish up and we can sleep in just our pants tonight. That’s still more skin contact than we’ve had and I want to take it slow.” Trowa finished as he slowly slid the blonde’s hands off of him. He finished lathering himself up quickly and rinsed off as fast as he could before turning to look at the blonde again. “Oh no.” Trowa barely breathed as he watched the tears slip from his little ones eyes.

“But-but, you’ll leave me if I can’t-”

“I’m not leaving you.” Trowa stated as he very carefully pulled the blonde into his arms. “I know you can’t do this yet, how many times do I have to tell you that I’ll wait?” His little one was sobbing into his chest now. So that’s what this had been about. His little one didn’t want him to leave and he was afraid he would if he wasn’t able to touch him.

“Do I have to sleep topless?” Quatre sniffled. Trowa let out another small laugh.

“Not if you don’t want to, but I’m still sleeping in just the pants…unless you’d be more comfortable if I put on-”

“No, it’s ok…I’m getting used to that.” Quatre answered honestly.

“Ok, then I’m going to get out and get changed. I’ll be in bed whenever you’re ready to join me.” Getting a nod against his chest, Trowa stepped out and grabbed a towel.


TQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQ


Watching his little one come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Trowa was surprised that the boy was topless. He thought he had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t have to sleep topless if he didn’t want to. Following him with his eyes to his dresser, he watched as the blonde pulled out a tank top. Oh…not topless, but still more skin than Trowa was used to when he slept next to his little one.

He pulled the blankets up when the blonde slid under them but stopped before he touched the brunette. Trowa could respect the silent wish. The blonde didn’t want that much skin to touch for a long amount of time. He smiled as he leaned over the blonde to turn off the small table lamp. After the room was covered in darkness he started to lay back on his own side of the bed but was stopped half way by a set of small hands on either side of his face.

Feeling breath on his lips, he told himself not to move. If the blonde was going to kiss him, it was going to be his own doing. The soft skin that followed the thought made him sigh. Smiling when a tongue slipped in between his lips with the parting, Trowa allowed himself to kiss back. That tongue…just the feeling of the tongues twisting slowly around each other almost made him miss the bare arms wrap around his neck. The blonde tried to turn away from the slow kiss and Trowa didn’t stop him.

“That was…not as bad as I thought it would be.” Quatre wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or to Trowa, but the brunette answered him.

“If you allow things to happen naturally then they won’t be bad. Just don’t force yourself like you did with the shower. Don’t think I’ll leave because you’re not ready. I won’t.” Trowa could feel the nod against the pillow and pulled away to get some sleep.

“Is it still alright to…” The brunette opened his arms and allowed the blonde to slide into his embrace. “Thanks.” The boy said quietly as he tucked his head into the crook of Trowa’s neck. Stroking his little ones bare arms he smiled into the darkness as he felt the blonde relax. Maybe the blonde was starting to understand he was going to stay no matter what.


TQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQTQ


A/N Rate Review Whatever. Love ya, gonna try to put up a chappy every day. See if I’ll be able to do that.