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The Road to Kindness	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7934 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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The Road to Kindness

Chapter 7

Author�s Notes: This is it, folks. The very next part is the conclusion to Chapter 7 (I hope you�re happy with how it ends, because I�m never doing this again!). Good God, it�s been a long haul, hasn�t it? And I still have chapters 8-12, plus the epilogue to get through. But at least this monster chapter is done. I�m already 20 pages into Chapter 8.
Part 25
The large, white house was completely quiet. Name had always been the type of person who liked quiet, but this kind of silence set her on edge. It was Monday and two whole days had passed since they had brought Duo home from the hospital. At first, Name had let a false sense of hope fill her, thinking that all of her fears about Duo�s mental state were just paranoia. When he had walked through the door to their home, he had seemed fine. Quatre had hugged him tightly, though careful of his shoulder, and Duo had hugged him back. When Trowa had made him a big lunch of his favorite foods, he had eaten as much as usual and had talked with them easily. Everything had seemed fine. Then, when Duo had finished eating, had gone up to his room.

Name had thought nothing of it at the time, thinking that Duo just needed his space, so she had left him alone for the rest of the day. When he didn�t leave his room until dinner, she had felt a little seed of worry being planted in her heart, but she thought that it was only normal. After what had just happened to him, Duo obviously needed some time alone to think, she just hoped that, at the end of his musings, he would come to some positive conclusion. Wes had come back, but no one had been seriously injured and Duo was home, where Name could keep a close eye on him, these were the thoughts that she hung to like a security blanket in the face of her failure to protect him. Maybe she was a little bit like her son in that respect. That failure ate at her, but she refused to let it consume her. To do that would be to admit defeat, and not only was she ill suited to such things, but for Duo�s sake, she refused to give up. She wasn�t going to stop trying to protect him just because she had let him down a couple times, even if this last time was glaringly big.

When Duo had come down for dinner that Saturday night without a fuss, Name had been sure that things were going to be ok. Then, yesterday, he had repeated the same exact behavior, staying up in his room all day until a meal came. Quatre, Trowa, and Heero seemed too unsure to try to break him out of the strange funk he was in and Name felt the same way. She didn�t want to force the boy to do anything at the point, wanting to see if he would come out of it on his own. Duo was acting like he was trapped in some sort of fog. Even when he talked to his friends, it was like his mind was somewhere else. It worried her. Duo�s actions during the day worried almost as much as the night did. Almost.

Both Saturday and Sunday night they had all been woken up by screaming. Name had been half expecting some sort of nightmare Saturday, but the screaming had been horrible. It had been like listening to a child having a night terror. She had hoped that bringing him home would do something to curb those nightmares, but it hadn�t made anything better, it seemed. Both nights, she had been the first to his bedroom, though Heero had been close behind her. Both times, by the time she had ran out of her room and into his, Duo had been wide awake, panting with exertion, covered in sweat, and white as a sheet. Both times, he had been staring out his window with huge, petrified eyes, as though he expected some shadowy demon to come through. She had held him close each time and eventually, Duo had settled down, but he hadn�t gone back to sleep. Heero and Name had stayed with him until breakfast, but no one had said anything during those times, all feeling oddly shell shocked and out of place.

Whatever was haunting Duo enough that he couldn�t find peace in his own home didn�t seem to have any intention of leaving. Name knew that only two days had passed and it was illogical of her to search for some kind of miracle cure, but she felt like a soldier on a battlefield. Or a high profile witness. She had upgraded all the security systems, but she still felt on edge. During the day, she had started the habit of looking in on Duo from time to time, and during the night, she lied wide awake, waiting for the screaming. She had no doubt it would be the same tonight. She was starting to feel like a refugee in her own home, wondering when the next attack would come, either from Wes or Duo�s behavior.

It was driving Heero insane, even Name could see that. If she didn�t understand how scared her son was at this whole situation, she would have slapped him for dancing around Duo like he was an active grenade, which at this point, he kind of was. They kept expecting one of his explosive panic attacks, but instead, he just stayed up in his room, thinking and doing who knew what. Every time she looked into that room, she had this strange image of him wasting away to nothing. Of course he was eating, but he was like a pale ghost among them, always on alert, but distant. Name desperately wanted to know what was going on his head, but Duo was a mastermind when it came to hiding. Even now, he was far too good at keeping secrets from them. She knew that Wes was the one haunting him, but to what degree?

Was it that man that Duo was dreaming of, or were the nightmares simply memories that Wes� appearance had sparked? She didn�t know which one was crueler, Duo�s mind depicting Wes as a monster, or the reality that he had survived. She wanted to reach out and hold him close, to tell him that everything was ok, that Wes couldn�t possibly get to him, that he was safe, but that was a lie. Maybe that was what was making her feel so desperate and scared. For all of Duo�s fear and paranoia, he wasn�t crazy. Wes was out there, trying to make a go for him, and who knew what the man was going to do when he got his hands on Duo. They all had to be on alert, but that was just making Duo even more skittish and nervous. But they couldn�t let their guard down. It seemed like every time they did, Wes pulled some trick. First Boston, when they had all been enjoying themselves and Duo had thought that he had finally escaped to a place separate from his nightmares, and now, at Duo�s job.

None of them knew how to lessen Duo�s fears and Name was wondering if it was such a good idea that she had gotten Treize�s approval to have Duo skip a week of school. She wondered if trying to force him to get things back to normal would have taken his mind off of all this, or if him going to school was just going to scare him more. Perhaps she was being a little bit selfish. She had wanted him home so adamantly because it was the one place where she could truly look for him and make sure that Wes wasn�t around. She could tell Treize to keep a look out, but the principal could only be so many places at once and he had other duties to attend to. But having Duo sit up in his room all day couldn�t be good for him, either. He had seemed a little bit better today when Trowa, Quatre, and Heero had come home from school.

Wufei had been with them and had brought Duo notes and homework to do. The five of them had hung out in Duo�s room, doing homework together and playing video games. It had been the first time in what seemed like ages that she heard Duo�s voice with some life in it. She had thought that maybe the worst was behind them and Duo really had just needed a few days to himself. That thought made the silence when Wufei had left and Duo had finished his work all the more painful for all of them. His friends seemed to draw his intention and interest, but the second they left him alone, he settled back into this flat, empty state.

In a way, Name was glad that Wufei had gone home right before they had had dinner. He was good for Duo in the way that all of them were good for him, but watching them together today, there was some strange static between them. However, it hadn�t been coming from Duo. It had been coming from Wufei. There was something that Chinese boy wanted to say to Duo, that was obvious to everyone, but he didn�t. It was like the clichéd elephant in the room. Everyone knew it was there, but just avoided it like the plague, especially Wufei. What was it with these boys, Name wondered, that they were completely incapable of speaking with each other about the things that ate at their hearts? Wufei was just as bad as Heero. It made her want to slam their heads together. They were all just� hiding from each other. It was ridiculous. Something had to break, sooner or later, something would break.

Name approached Duo�s bedroom cautiously. The smell of rice and beef from the kitchen was inviting, but Duo�s room seemed cold, though Name knew it was just her imagination. The door was cracked, like it had been for the last few days, and she wondered if the longhaired boy was so gone mentally that he didn�t notice them checking up on him, or if he just didn�t care. Lately the boy was like a squirrel, skittish and jumping at the slightest noises. Frankly, she was shocked he didn�t have an ulcer by now with how anxious he always was. But lately, it was much worse.

He was clearly expecting something terrible to happen at any second. She couldn�t stand seeing him like that and wondered if she should get him some kind of medication. She wasn�t fond of drugs, but she knew Duo wasn�t sleeping. He had circles under his eyes and seemed so exhausted in the morning. Would it be so terrible to give him a sleep aid, or something to make him relax? It wasn�t healthy for someone to be in that state of anxiety for so long, it was like he was constantly on adrenaline. She peaked in the door and saw that he was in the same exact spot he had been in since they had brought him home on Saturday. He was sitting on the side of the bed that was facing the window, which he was staring out of, just like he did every day. She saw Sammy curled up against Duo�s right leg and Toby sitting straight up on his left, looking out the window in a mirror image of Duo.

Name wondered if there was something so interesting out there that the cat would be looking, too, or if he was just copying Duo. If it wasn�t so oddly melancholy, like a dedicated warrior following his ill master, it would have been cute. Name knew from experience that Shiva was cuddled up on Duo�s lap, probably napping. She rapped lightly on the door, gaining Duo�s attention. His violet eyes seemed dark and heavy recently, like there was an actual weight to them, or maybe she was just seeing things. In any case, it filled her with a deep sadness.

�Dinner�s ready, sweetie,� she said with a soft smile.

Duo nodded to her and placed Shiva on the bed.

�Thanks,� he said and walked past her towards the stairs.

Name watched him go and stepped into his bedroom. His bed was neatly made, like it always was, and the TV was off. For some reason, that bothered her. He had been cooped up in here for so long, but she hadn�t heard the TV going unless one of his friends was in the room. That he was just� sitting on his bed and staring, without reading a book or watching TV made her insides squirm. She stood in front of the window and looked out of it. She saw their next door neighbors� houses and plenty of trees. There was the lamp post by their driveway, the neighbor�s golden retriever running around in the enclosed yard, and the tree line was lit beautifully by the setting sun, but the sun had only started to set recently. There was nothing out there that she could see that would have caught Duo�s attention any more than usual.

Name suddenly realized that the bedrooms up here had the best view of the street that led to their house. It wasn�t a huge epiphany, but for some reason, it sent a shiver down her spine. She turned and looked at Toby, who was still sitting on the bed and was looking back up at her. In her mind, the Javanese�s golden eyes looked worried. She scratched the top of his head, remembering a time when the large cat had just joined their family and he had hissed at anyone who tried to touch him besides Duo. The cat purred under her touch, his almond shaped eyes closing in happiness. Her own sharp eyes studied the room again, but just by judging what she could see, Duo was spending his time just staring out that window. Had Dr. Stark been right, she wondered. Was Duo breaking down, was he starting to lose it? Or was there some kind of logical reason that Duo kept looking out the window? She hoped so. God, she hoped so.
*****
Trowa was worried. No, that was probably an understatement. He knew that he wasn�t alone, either. It was impossible to tell how Heero felt, he was still closed off, but Trowa didn�t think it had anything to do with Boston anymore. That was the one bright point in this mess. Since Chris had kidnapped them in Boston, Heero had been walking around like a man torn in half. His indecisiveness had distanced him from all of them. He had claimed at the time that he was doing it for Duo�s sake, but even Trowa had recognized the lie. In reality, Heero had been lost. Now, ever since he had come back from the hospital, he seemed to have a clarity of purpose. Trowa wondered if it was watching Duo get shot or something different that had finally woken Heero up. He supposed that the reason wasn�t really important, as long as his old friend finally got his head out of his ass and saw what was happening.

Even though Heero was still a bit closed off, if only to protect himself, Trowa knew they would have to be idiots to not realize how worried Heero was about Duo. Trowa was quite sure that, no matter what happened, Heero would always worry about his best friend, but now he had every reason to. Wufei was guilty over what had happened and they were all filled with anxiety and fear. How Duo had acted after Boston was nothing compared to how he was acting now. He was like a ghost, drifting through life, not even half the person he had been. Sure, Duo had never been hyper, but he looked like he was sleepwalking half the time.

Trowa kept remembering the American that had constantly come to him for help. Even when Duo had been in a bad spot, sooner or later he would talk to one of them, usually Trowa. Quatre understood that something had been lost, too. There was something going on with Duo that was taking their friend away from them. It only made Trowa hate Wes all the more. Duo had been doing so well, finally coming out of his shell and trying new things. He had been, little by little, letting go of his shyness. Then Wes, that bastard, had neatly and surely put Duo right back into the state he had been in when they had first met him.

Duo was constantly on alert, when they tried to speak to him, he talked hesitantly like he used to, in that quiet way that told everyone he was wondering, if he spoke up, if he might get hit. Of course Duo didn�t really think they were going to hit him, it was just an odd reflex, one that Trowa had hopped their friendship had erased. They had all underestimated the damage that Wes had done to Duo�s mind, that severe conditioning that still made Duo flinch when a stranger touched him, or how hard it was for him to stand up to another person, especially if that person was bigger than him. Trowa wasn�t a very violent person, he got along well with the animals his sister worked with because of that nature, but Hell was too good for a man like Wes. Duo�s current behavior was a testament to the power that Wes still held over him. Wes showed up once and Duo was reverting back to his old self.

It infuriated him. Duo was working so hard to get better, but their friendship seemed so� quaint in the face of Duo�s fear of Wes. Though, Trowa supposed that, considering how Duo could be reacting� he could be curled up in a ball of terror, in a semi-comatose state. Or, in his fear, he could have gone running back to Wes just to end it. Instead, he was here, so Trowa supposed that maybe their friendship was enough to keep Duo grounded, if not completely healed. Still, he was worried about the true extent of the damage that had been done by Wes returning like this. Duo seemed so unhinged. He was bottling something terrible inside of his heart and refused to let it go. Until he did, Trowa was sure that Duo was never going to be able to relax. Maybe it would be worse than that. Maybe, they would have to kill Wes to have Duo let go. It was a troublesome solution, given how powerless they were, but the end result wasn�t exactly something that he thought anyone would be unhappy about. Wes wasn�t exactly the kind of man that many people, if any, would mourn over.

Trowa had half a mind to suggest that they all force Duo out of the house, maybe take him down to the park or to the movies. He just kept sitting up in that damn room, staring out the window according to Name, no doubt brooding in his dark thoughts. He and Trowa were very alike and Trowa had no problems admitting that. In a way, he sort of knew what was bothering Duo. He had had so little in his life that the smallest things were now important to him, things that people like Wufei, Heero, and Quatre took for granted because they had had them their entire lives. Little things like a home. Duo had referred to this house many, many times as his sanctuary. Trowa understood that.

Duo had never really had a home before. Sure, he had lived in a place with Wes, but for some reason, Duo didn�t equate a home as a place with walls and a ceiling. Home, to Duo, was the place that he felt the safest, the most secure. Home was the place where Duo could heal, where he could stop being afraid and be himself. Home was where the people he loved lived. A part of the reason why Duo loved Name so much was because she had given him that home. And Wes had taken that away from him. That wonderful home could now be invaded by Wes at any moment. It was no wonder Duo acted like such a zombie lately. He was still trying to find his footing, was still trying to find out if this place would remain his sanctuary or if, one night, Wes would come for him and finish the job of destroying this new life he had fought so hard for.

Plain and simple, it wasn�t fair. Duo didn�t deserve to be in this constant state of fear. Hell, they were all afraid, but even now it seemed like Duo had the most to lose, because even though he still had a long ways to go before he was whole again, he had come a very long way, and if Wes had his way, Duo would be that shy, miserable, lonely boy again, because that boy could be controlled so very easily. It wouldn�t come in blows or harsh words, either. Men like Wes� men like Trowa�s uncle� they knew the harshest truth of all. Control� true dominance� was the easiest thing in the world because all it took was one kind word, one pat on the shoulder, one testimony of love and affection to get a love starved person like Duo to bend to their will.

Maybe that was why it was so hard for Duo to stand up to Wes, and why he seemed to be in such turmoil now. All Duo had ever wanted was a family. Trowa thought that Duo had grown up without a single friend, without one person who actually cared about him. In that comparison, Wes� brand of pain-pleasure wasn�t so bad. Yes, his love hurt, but it was still some kind of affection. It was no wonder why, even in his hate of the man, Duo still felt connected to him. That was what made Wes so dangerous. He knew how to control Duo through that love. Duo had spent too many years with the man to just turn his back on him without a spark of feeling. Hate and love� there was a saying that those two feelings were essentially the same. Trowa saw it in Duo�s eyes when he had looked at Wes; that love and hate.

The only thing standing in Wes� way was� well� them. It was a daunting responsibility, to have Duo�s welfare on their shoulders. Their love was probably a bit scary to the street kid turned whore. It was probably just as painful to Duo as Wes�, because their love was full of hope, but it was also kinder. Their love had a future beyond what Wes had already given Duo. It was the kind of love Duo had dreamed about as a small child and Trowa fervently hoped that that dream hadn�t completely died throughout the years, that that dream would be what saved Duo now.

Trowa looked down at Quatre, who was slumped against him, fast asleep, his head lying on his arm, and smiled fondly at him. They were all trying hard not to let their worries show and trying to give Duo some space, but he knew that they were all anxious over Duo�s recent behavior. It was probably worse for Quatre, he reasoned. It was very hard for his lover to let things be when people were hurting while Trowa was more patient. It had taken a lot of maneuvering to get the blonde down the steps and into the TV room when Name had left for an emergency business meeting, but he had finally managed it. He didn�t think any of them were sleeping very well, in between meeting Wes and seeing Duo walk around in a daze, not to mention hearing his nightmares� but he could feel Quatre tossing and turning every night. What made it worse was that he could only hold him and hope he would sleep better. It was like with Duo, all he could do was hope for the best. It felt like there wasn�t anything he could do to help.

This whole situation was a terrible mess. It made Trowa�s head ache to think of all of it. There was a childish part of him that wanted this to be resolved so they could go on with their lives but it wasn�t that simple. Even with Wes gone, it wasn�t like all of Duo�s problems were going to vanish. He knew that they had only touched the tip of the iceberg that was Duo�s issues. Quiet footsteps entering the room made Trowa turn his head, trying not to move despite his surprise so he wouldn�t wake his boyfriend. The last person he expected to be walking into the room was Chang Wufei.

�Did you just let yourself in?� he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Wufei was blushing deeply, no doubt embarrassed at his rude invasion.

�I rang the bell three times, but no one answered. I saw a light on upstairs, so I just tried the door�� Wufei tried to explain.

He hadn�t heard the doorbell, Trowa mused, but he hadn�t dared to turn down the volume on the TV in fear that he would disturb Quatre, and he had been thinking too hard.

�Name�s gone,� Trowa told him.

He was sure that Wufei had been expecting that Mrs. Yuy would be opening the door and saw the shock in his dark eyes at the news that Name had left.

�She� she�s not here?� Wufei asked in surprise.

�She didn�t want to leave Duo alone during week days,� Trowa said, �But it couldn�t be helped. The leader of the Yuy Corporation was needed.�

�I�m sorry,� Wufei murmured, �I didn�t mean to just barge in, but I just� I��

�Needed to speak to Duo,� Trowa finished easily.

Wufei stared at him with wide eyes.

�How did you-,� he asked cautiously.

Wufei flinched as Trowa laughed. He watched impatiently as Trowa untangled himself from Quatre, who didn�t stir. It gave the Chinese boy a good opportunity to study the golden haired boy. He was paler than usual, with dark circles under his closed eyes. He looked like hell. Wufei supposed that none of them were sleeping very well lately. Trowa stood and looked at him with his arms crossed over his chest.

�You know, it�s no wonder you and Heero fell for the same person,� Trowa remarked, �You�re both the same. You both think you�re so secretive, but you wear your emotions on your faces most of the time. You were acting strange around Duo this weekend. I assume you�ve finally found what you want to say to him and that�s why you�re here?� Trowa asked but Wufei could tell that it wasn�t really a question.

Wufei nodded.

�How did you get here?� the Italian asked.

�I took a bus,� Wufei said gruffly.

Trowa snorted. Wufei hated public transportation. He had to have been desperate to take a bus.

�Fine,� he sighed, �Duo�s in his room. Again.�

Wufei looked downcast as Trowa passed him and he followed the taller boy up the stairs. Still? That didn�t sound good. Sure enough, when they walked to Duo�s room, the boy with the braid was sitting on his bed, looking out the window. Trowa was used to finding him like that now, but it still gave him an odd sense of déjà vu.

�Duo, Wufei�s here to talk to you,� Trowa announced as they went in.

Duo turned and smiled at Wufei. Wufei noted that Duo�s eyes had dark circles under them, darker than Quatre�s and there was some expression in those violet eyes that made him feel cautious.

�Thanks, Trowa,� Duo said.

Trowa nodded and left them alone. Though Duo was now facing him, Wufei realized that his eyes kept darting to the window, as though he was afraid to leave it. He made things easier on him by sitting at his right side. Sammy yowled in annoyance at him, but darted to the desk chair to resume his nap. Shiva didn�t notice Wufei�s existence at all as she slept on Duo�s lap, though Toby gave the black haired boy a sharp look before looking back to the window, too.

�What did you want to talk to me about?� Duo asked in a soft voice.

His tone was different than usual, but at least he was speaking to people, Wufei thought. If it had been him, he would be hiding away in fear right now, but Duo had more guts than him anyway. He suddenly wondered if Duo would have succeeded in shooting Wes if he had been the one to find the gun and swallowed roughly. Maybe it wasn�t so much that Duo was braver as he was more mature. He hid away, like all of them did, but he also understood the price that certain actions cost him. It wasn�t that Duo wasn�t afraid, it was that he still relied on them more than he relied on running away. Maybe all those times that he had disappeared had finally knocked some sense into the chestnut haired boy. In his lap, Wufei�s finger fidgeted nervously. Or maybe he was right the first time around and he was just a coward and Duo was the brave one.

�I�ve� been meaning to talk to you about something since� since Friday,� Wufei struggled with his words.

He looked over at Duo and saw that he was listening to him intently. He wasn�t quite sure if those violet eyes gave him the courage to continue, or if they just made him more nervous.

�What is it?� Duo asked softly.

Through his deepening thoughts, and the black cloud that was forming his mood now a days, Duo caught how nervous Wufei was and gave him his full attention. It was so hard to do that lately. Too many thoughts� too many memories� too much fear� he would never tell anyone, but ever since he had been released from the hospital, he had felt it. They were coming back, all those bad things, and the fear that always went with those vivid memories of pain and hopelessness. He felt like he was drowning. He wanted to shut his brain off, but it wouldn�t shut up, showing him the worst things from his past over and over again, every time he shut his eyes. He felt like he was going insane. He couldn�t think anymore. But Wufei sounded so sad, so� mournful, and suddenly, he could see him, in the way that it was so hard to see lately.

�I�m so sorry!� Wufei suddenly blurted out.

Duo stared at him in confusion.

�Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about,� he assured him.

Just to be sure, Duo tried to remember everything Wufei had done in the past two weeks and couldn�t think of a single reason for him to be sorry.

�Back in the woods,� Wufei choked out, suddenly unable to look Duo in the eyes, �When I had the gun� I couldn�t do it. I couldn�t kill that bastard that raped you! I had it in my hands, and I let that opportunity slip me by! I should have been able to� but I chickened out. I couldn�t do it� I know you hate me for that. Hell, I hate me for that! If I had shot him, you wouldn�t be so scared right now. You would have justice, but I was too much of a coward��

He finally dared a look at Duo and lost his breath when he saw that Duo�s soft expression had hardened into one of deadly seriousness.

�Duo�� he said cautiously.

Duo�s hands were curled into tight fists in his lap.

�I don�t want anyone to become a murderer for me,� he said sharply, his eyes, which had once been clouded over by something dark, were intense, �So don�t� don�t you dare say you�re sorry!�

Wufei almost gasped when he saw the tears in Duo�s eyes and Duo�s back bowed, like he was carrying some terrible weight.

�Don�t apologize for that,� Duo whispered, �You did the right thing. If you�re going to kill someone to protect yourself, then do it. But�but don�t say that you should have done it for my sake. What happened to me happened a very, very long time ago. It still hurts, I won�t lie about that. It hurts me very much, but don�t say that shooting someone who hurt someone you love is the same thing as justice. It isn�t. Justice� it would be going back in time and making sure none of it happened, and that�s impossible. Killing Wes wouldn�t have made me feel any better. It would have made me feel worse because that meant I turned you into a killer. I don�t want that. You couldn�t kill him, and that�s wonderful. You couldn�t do it, not because you were a coward, but because you couldn�t take a life, even if you hated that person. I love that about you. Wes� I saw him kill� so many people, and I know he killed a lot more. Do you honestly think I want you to become him, a monster that feels nothing for killing another human being? I�ve seen so many people die� I�m sick of it. I�m sick of people being hurt and people hurting each other. Why would I ever hate you for being incapable of violence?�

Duo wiped furiously at his eyes. Wufei felt his own misting up in the face of Duo�s convictions and suddenly, for a minute, he was very glad that he hadn�t pulled that trigger, if only because Duo would have felt guilty if he had and he never wanted Duo to feel that way because of him. He squeezed Duo�s hand.

�Ok,� he murmured, �I won�t apologize for it. But I do apologize for something else.�

Duo lifted his head and looked at him again.

�I know I�ve said it, more than once, but I�m sorry for those cruel things I said to you when you were in the hospital that first time,� Wufei kept his hand around Duo�s.

That touch, as small as it was, made his chest feel warm, like it usually did when he was around Duo, and especially when he got to touch him, but it was different this time. For the first time, he touched him and had no urge to kiss the longhaired boy. There was a warmth, but it was different. Strong and tempered, like steel, instead of wild, like how he felt for Fai. This was� friendship, not lust, not want or desire. He felt a strong respect for Duo and he wanted to protect him. And he loved him. But it wasn�t what it was before. This was the love he felt for his mother and father, for Meiran, it was the love of a friend, for someone he respected and cared for. It made him feel relieved and humbled at the same time. Because his heart belonged to Fai, it always had, and his love for Duo had plagued him, like a thorn in his side. But now, all his childish desires and franticness had been cleared away and what had remained was a deep friendship that awed him.

�You told us something that was very painful for you,� he continued, his chest feeling light and strong at the same time, �You told us the truth, for the first time, and I threw it back in your face. I called you weak, but I was wrong. I didn�t understand what it truly felt like to be helpless. Fai was taken away from me and I couldn�t do anything about it, but I refused to feel helpless because of it. I guess, I always felt like I could still see him again and I did. But that moment� when I realized who Wes was and feeling his strength� and his insanity� for the first time in my life, I truly felt helpless.�

He gave Duo�s hand another little squeeze as Duo smiled at him again.

�I understood you, finally, when you said that you couldn�t do anything. I understand now. It had nothing to do with Wes having a weapon, with him being bigger than you, or even you being a child. I was so much older, but even when I held that gun in my hands, I felt overwhelmed with this sensation that I was this child, pointing a toy gun at a bear. I felt completely powerless,� Wufei murmured.

�It made you feel sick to your stomach, didn�t it?� Duo asked, �It made you feel like� like you were never going to be warm again. This penetrating coldness filled you and you felt like you couldn�t move, you couldn�t breathe� you understood that you were nothing, like a stuffed animal he could bat around for his own amusement.�

Wufei stared at him in shock. Duo understood� of course he understood. Duo had faced death every time he had woken up with Wes in the same building as him. He nodded shakily.

�Yes, I felt all that. I terrified me,� he took a deep breath, �I can�t even begin to imagine how scared you must have been, living with that asshole. It would have been worth it� killing him� even if it made me a killer, to protect you, to show him what it felt like to be powerless� it would have been worth it.�

Duo shook his head sadly.

�I don�t think Wes knows how to feel powerless,� he murmured, �Even when you were pointing that gun at him, he was smiling.�

Wufei shuddered in memory. That smile� that cold, heartless smile�

�I don�t think Wes even has the capacity for that sort of feeling. I think� I think, even as a child, Wes was always in control,� his voice got stronger, �And it wouldn�t be worth it. Killing never is. Wes always had some sort of logical reason for killing a person, but in the end� I only saw a dead body and it made me feel empty inside, like I could see their fate cut short or something. And I could never see the point. Maybe if Wes was dead, it would make things easier, but I would still feel that emptiness. I don�t think I�d ever feel justice for what he did. He still did it, nothing can ever change that. There is no such thing as true justice. I think the closest I�ll ever get�is moving on. If I can do that� that�s kind of like justice� isn�t it?� Duo�s smile was terribly wistful and sad, �I mean� I�ve done terrible things. I�ve stolen from kids that were just as sick and hungry as me, I�ve had sex with guys ten times my age in horrible, disgusting ways, I�ve been filled with hatred, I�ve lied, cursed, I�ve sold drugs for Wes, I even lost hope in my own existence and tried to kill myself more than once� sometimes, I wonder if one day, I�ll look at myself in the mirror and I�ll see Wes there� but the one thing I could cling on to was that I would never kill someone, I would never take that last step in being him. After everything I�ve done, I don�t know if I can ever be proud of myself, but I�ve never taken a life. And I�m glad for that. If I did� if I took that last step, the one thing that separates me from him� if I took that step, even because of revenge, I would cease to be human.�

Wufei suddenly swept him up in a hug that had Duo stiffening for a second, but he quickly relaxed. Duo hugged him back, almost desperately and Wufei wondered if he was starved for this kind of contact after all this time.

�Duo, you will never cease to be human,� the Chinese boy said, �Even if you kill him, I�ll never think of you as less than human. I�ll always be proud of you,� he let go of the other teenager and looked him in the eye, �But thank you.�

� �Thank you�?� Duo echoed.

�Yes,� Wufei said with a smile, �I�ve been feeling guilty about that, but you make more sense than my own stupid feelings.�

Duo smirked.

�That�s the first time anyone�s ever said I made sense,� he quipped, �And it�s like I said, there�s no reason for you to feel guilty.�

Wufei dared to ruffle Duo�s hair, feeling better than he had since he held that stupid gun.

�Is there anything I can do to help you?� he asked worriedly, still dancing around the subject of Duo�s strange behavior.

To his disappointment, Duo shook his head.

�I�ll figure it out,� Duo murmured, �I don�t think there�s anything you guys can do.�

�You can lean on us, you know that, don�t you?� Wufei insisted.

Duo�s smile became a little bit brighter.

�Thank you,� he said softly.
*****
Duo waited for Wufei to leave his room before he pulled his knees up to his chest and looked back out the window, his violet eyes tracking every movement on the street, every person walking a dog, every car, every little kid on a tricycle or bicycle intensely.

The smell of gunpowder that filled the air was the only way to tell that a gun had gone off. Duo watched from his bedroom doorway was Chris cleaned Wes� gun for him as the blonde dragged the girl�s now lifeless body to the kitchen table. Duo�s eyes followed him as he pulled a knife from the right drawer and started to do something nasty to the twelve year old girl�s fingertips. Her wide, unseeing eyes seemed to burn into Duo�s vision. Chris finally noticed that they were being watched and with a cruel grin, pointed the gun in Duo�s direction. Duo saw the muzzle aim right for his head and his heart started to race, his entire body frozen.

�See that?� Chris looked over at the dead girl.

Duo knew the girl. They had spoken a couple of times, but they hadn�t been very close. Still, he couldn�t believe that the corpse Wes was working on was the little redhead that had been dragged into the apartment minutes later, weeping and screaming that she didn�t want to sell their strange packages to her classmates anymore.

�Disobey us and we�ll do the same to you.�
　

Duo�s hands clutched at his head as it started to pound.

�Please stop, I don�t want to remember� please stop�� he begged, tears tracking down his cheeks as him mind started to burn.
　

The heavy metal chain that was wrapped tightly around his neck pulled him viciously forward, cutting his skin and making blood track down his pale skin. He bit back a whimper. Don�t make a noise, don�t make a noise� the soft cloth of the pleated skirt he wore caressed his legs, but it was far from comforting. A large hand gripped his ass through the skirt and gave the chain another sharp tug, finally wringing a sound of pain from him. The skirt was lifted and that large hand pulled down the feminine underwear he wore�
　

�Stop!� his thoughts screamed and he slammed his fists against his legs.

�Just stop�� his memories assaulted him regardless and he felt like he was drowning again.

�Go away,� he whispered to the empty room.

Lonely� he felt so lonely� he could feel it, his memories, his future� his past� it was looking for him. It was finding him�

Duo curled up in a miserable ball on his bed, Toby and Shiva mewing at him in worry. He bit down on his pillow so he couldn�t scream as his memories took him away from his comfortable bed to someplace darker� someplace with chains and hands�
The darkness� so dark� can�t move� can�t breathe� it hurts� please don�t touch me� Heero� where� I want the light� I want� Heero� too dark� too dark�
*****

�Is he still just sitting there?� Quatre asked in a low voice filled with concern as he and Trowa stood outside of Duo�s door.

Trowa nodded, looking through the partially open door. It was Wednesday, five days since they had brought Duo home, and it seemed like nothing had changed. He was still looking out that goddamn window and both Trowa and Quatre were finally ready to do something about it. Duo�s alone time was officially over. Trowa knew that Heero and Name felt the same way, but none of them knew how to approach him. According to Wufei, Duo didn�t want their help, but that didn�t mean that he didn�t need it. It was strange, on his own, Duo was silent and dazed, but when they tried to talk to him, he didn�t seem all that different. It was like he was suffering all alone and Trowa hated that thought. They needed him to talk about what he was going through, otherwise, Trowa didn�t see how this was going to stop.

�What do we do?� Quatre whispered, for once not knowing what he should do.

With Duo�s skittishness, it felt like it was hard to approach him. Should they really just walk in and force him to tell them why he was holing up in his room day after day, what he was thinking about, or should they go about it more gently? If they did it wrong, would Duo just clam up like he usually did, or was he so desperate to make his fear go away that he would talk the second they said they were willing to listen? They had all been expecting some kind of reaction from Duo because of what Wes had done, but this seemed so wrong to Quatre. He wasn�t really distancing himself from them, because he did acknowledge them and talk to them, but he wasn�t himself, either. It was like he was dreaming while he was wide awake. It was� scary, seeing him like that.

�We�re his friends,� Trowa said simply, �Who says we need a plan?�

�Trowa-,� Quatre started to protest, but Trowa strode into the room.

Quatre, despite his worries, couldn�t help but smile over his lover�s confidence. He remembered when they had first met, even back then Trowa had been much taller than him, and how he had thought that Trowa�s silence meant that he was shy and didn�t like meeting new people. Though, now that Quatre knew about Trowa�s uncle, maybe he had been very shy. Remembering what Trowa had told him, Quatre felt a rare burst of rage. The world was filled with such ugliness� he had thought he had understood that when his father had informed him of his feelings towards his sexuality and finding out how his mother had died, but now it seemed like that ugliness was everywhere.

Both Trowa and Duo had been raped as children, sometimes he could hardly stand to think of that fact. Even though Trowa�s uncle was in jail, it didn�t make Quatre feel any better at all. He didn�t think that it made Trowa feel good, either. Quatre was a pacifist at heart. This didn�t mean that he was above fighting when he needed to, actually, it was the contrary. Quatre believed that fighting for what you believed in was necessary to live a good life, something that his father didn�t seem to understand. His father certainly didn�t understand why Quatre had become so upset after he had told him to just �hide� his sexuality, for the benefit of the family. But Quatre still didn�t like violence, even if he could understand its necessity in certain situations. He especially didn�t like violence to no end, just for revenge, or to make yourself feel better.

Yet, it didn�t come to any surprise for him that he wanted so badly to find Trowa�s uncle and rip him to shreds. He had the same intense feelings for Wes. He didn�t even believe in things like the death penalty, but if he had been the one holding that gun like Wufei had, he wondered if he would have even hesitated in blowing the man�s brains out of his skull. Hell, Trowa�s uncle was in jail and it wasn�t enough, Quatre didn�t think it would ever be enough for that level of evil. He could understand if Trowa�s childhood shyness had been because of that terrible experience, and he wasn�t sure if it had really gone away. Trowa still didn�t have many friends, but was incredibly loyal to the ones he had. He was quiet, but when something needed to be said, he never hesitated. There were so many similarities to Duo and Trowa�s personality and it made Quatre wonder if it was because of their similar experience.

But even though Trowa was quiet, he also had a strong character and a confidence that Quatre found very rare. Trowa knew what was important and necessary, eroding away uselessness and triviality. And above all, Trowa was kind. While Quatre was trying to figure out what to say to Duo, what would be appropriate, Trowa was completely sure of himself. It was like he said, they were his friends, and they shouldn�t need a plan just to speak to him. It was because of those qualities that Quatre had fallen for him so hard. It reminded him that, even though there was such evil and ugliness in the world, there were still people like Trowa, Wufei, Heero, and Duo, people with good hearts. That was right. Duo was their friend, and he was just as kind as Trowa, it didn�t matter how they approached him, just as long as he remembered how much the American needed help. Quatre followed Trowa into the room and Duo broke his stare from the window to greet them.

�Duo, can we talk to you?� Quatre asked cautiously.

�Of course you can,� Duo responded, �You don�t need to ask.�

Quatre brightened at his response. Sometimes he forgot that Duo was like this. The violet eyed boy had this strange way to be incredibly simple and complex at the same time. It was like Trowa said, they were Duo�s friends, so Duo didn�t care if they wanted to talk to him, even if it was a sensitive subject. Quatre was so used to dealing with people like his father, who were obsessed with things like mannerisms and protocol, but Duo didn�t care about all that. If Duo didn�t want to talk about something, he would tell them, and he did, then he would talk. It was that simple. They didn�t need to dance around anything. Feeling more relaxed, Quatre sat on the edge of the bed next to Duo, while Trowa opted to stand on that side of the bed.

�I�m sorry,� Quatre said to him, �We should have talked to you days ago��

Duo shrugged.

�It�s fine,� he said and Trowa frowned at how distant he sounded.

Their friend was hiding something, that was obvious to him. Maybe it wasn�t even intentional, but there was something going on that Duo wasn�t talking about. It was almost like he was avoiding thinking of it himself, like he was fighting and losing. His attention was obviously torn between something and then, very different to how Duo usually was. Usually, his attention was wholly on them, but though he was talking to them easily, his mind was elsewhere. In his lap, Shiva cracked one, irritated, yellow eye at them, but closed it again when Duo scratched her ears. Trowa didn�t see Sammy or Toby anywhere, but they were probably lurking under the bed.

�Duo� I was just wondering� and I figured you would know Wes�s intentions better than anyone� why did he just leave? He had his gun back, it would have been easy for him to kill all of us, but he just� left. Why would he do something like that?� Quatre asked.

It had been the one thing that his curious mind had been rolling over since Friday. Why would someone as ruthless as Wes leave with little damage done to any of them? Heck, Duo had been the only one Wes had been set not to kill, but the only one he had shot. Wes might be insane, but even some insane people had the ability to have reasons behind their behavior, even if those reasons were also crazy. Duo�s expression suddenly changed and Trowa realized that they finally had his full attention. It was Wes, he thought, that had been causing Duo�s attention to be split, and now that Quatre had brought it up, Duo no longer had to keep half a mind on them and half a mind on the man that was haunting him. It wasn�t much of a revelation, they had all expected Wes to be the reason why Duo was acting so weird.

�He wanted to kill all of you because you were in the way, and because he knows that I care for you,� Duo explained in a soft, depressed tone, �Because� I chose you over him,� he had an almost shocked expression, like Duo had never considered that before, �So, he hates you.�

�Then why are we still alive?� Trowa asked, �You�ve told us what Wes has done to you when you pissed him off. Why are we still standing if he hates us so much?�

�Because you weren�t just in the way anymore,� Duo told him, �This is what he does. If one of his whores or drug runners disobeyed him, he�d shoot them as soon as he saw them in cold blood. That was because it was business, just business, and it was never personal. But� if you pissed him off, he wouldn�t just settle for killing you.�

Quatre shuddered at that. The way Duo was putting it� no, the way Wes thought of it, death wasn�t a big deal. �Just business�. So what did it take to get on Wes� bad side? Just because they were friends with Duo, because Duo had chosen a life with them instead of going back to Wes, they had pissed Wes off. In other words, Wes was acting like a spoiled child that suddenly found that he had to share his toy with another kid. That analogy only made Quatre feel even worse.

�He wants to torture you,� Duo murmured, �He wants to see you fail, so he can rub it in your face. He wants to show you how powerless you are, how hopeless everything is. That�s what he does to the people he has a personal connection with. It isn�t enough to kill them, he loves to see people at their weakest, to know that he�s making them suffer. That�s the kind of man Wes is.�

�That�s what he did to you,� Trowa said, his voice tight with anger, �He didn�t just train you. He tortured you, he did unnecessary, hurtful things just to watch you in pain. When you say that he does those things to the people close to him, you don�t just mean the people that succeed in pissing him off, you mean anyone that he doesn�t see as a part of �business�.�

Duo nodded, his eyes clouded over again, this time with memory and pain.

�I never figured out why I was the only one who got to live with him,� Duo mused, his voice still heavy and sad, �I knew he had dozens of other prostitutes. Some of them came by the apartment, but they never stayed. And he was always so cold to them, not cruel, but there was no heat in the way he talked to them or about them. The way he talked to me, the way he treated me, even if it was cruel and sadistic, he never treated anyone else that way. I never thought of it, but he liked me even then.�

�You call that like?!� Quatre demanded angrily.

Duo smiled, but it was filled with bitterness and lacked any mirth.

�No, but Wes calls it that,� he mused, �Maybe I thought that once, but I know better now,� he gave Trowa a brighter look, �I can�t possibly call it �like� anymore. But� in his own way, to Wes it was. It is. And through that� through everything he did to me, I gave up. That�s what he wants. He wants all of you to give up.�

�That will never happen!� Quatre nearly yelled with conviction, grabbing Duo�s hand and squeezing it.

Trowa caught Duo�s eyes flickering over to the window, but once Quatre had shouted and grabbed him, the blonde had gained Duo�s attention again. The glance was so quick, Trowa wondered if it had just been his imagination.

�We�re never going to give up!� Quatre promised, �No matter what happens, we�ll never stop protecting you!�

�It will happen,� Duo�s eyes were suddenly hard, �It will happen. When Wes first kidnapped me, I thought I could get past it, I thought I could handle it, but I was just lying to myself. I gave in. Everyone bows under him, it�s just� natural. You can�t fight him. I was helpless� I�m still helpless� no matter how hard I tried to fight him, he won. He�s still winning. How can I fight against him now? Nothing�s changed, not really. I don�t have anything else to fight him with.�

With a small noise of pain, Quatre pulled Duo into his arms.

�Don�t say that,� he begged, �Please don�t ever say that. We will never give up against him! We won�t give up because we have the one motive you never did, someone we love is in danger. Not each other, but you. I�ll die before I let that bastard lay his hands on you again! It�s the same for you, isn�t it? You say you�ve given up, but when Wufei was in danger, when someone you loved was being threatened, you fought. You aren�t helpless. You aren�t ever helpless! You never gave up. You�re with us, aren�t you? If you had given up, you never would have moved in to this house!�

Duo pulled himself out of Quatre�s embrace and Trowa caught him glancing over at the window again. The longhaired boy shook his head.

�But I�m so tired of it,� Duo whispered, making both of their hearts� ache, �I�m tired of fighting him. I�m tired of being scared of him. I feel like I�ve been fighting him my entire life. Sometimes� I just want to give up. If I didn�t have you guys��

Trowa caught Duo looking at the window for a third time and finally spoke up about it.

�Why do you keep doing that?� he asked.

Duo stared at him in surprise and Trowa wondered if he even realized he was doing it. The violet eyed boy looked fully out the window, those eyes getting that glazed look again.

�I�m waiting,� he murmured, like that explained everything.

�Waiting for what?� Quatre asked worriedly.

�For Wes to come for me,� Duo replied, once again speaking in a banal tone, like he was telling a small child why the grass was green or why the goldfish had to be flushed down the toilet, like he was describing the most natural, obvious thing in the world.

Both Trowa and Quatre suppressed a shiver at his words and tone. They couldn�t decide what Duo looked like more when he was staring out of that window, a little boy waiting for his daddy to come home, or a cat waiting for the vet to come by his cage door so he could finally be put to sleep. The fact that Duo had spent all this time staring out this window, just so he could see if Wes was coming down the street was more than just a little bit creepy. Trowa knelt down in front of Duo, once again gaining the American�s attention. He took Duo�s slender hands in his larger ones.

�What�s the point in watching that street every second? Everyone�s worried about you and constantly looking out this window isn�t going to help anything. You�re just driving yourself insane by reminding yourself, over and over that he�s out there,� Trowa pointed out.

For the first time, Trowa took a good, long look at his friend and saw little things that he hadn�t noticed before, things that should have been obvious to them. He was paler than usual and he looked tired. He had heavy circles under his eyes, but it was more than that. He just had a look of someone who wanted badly to fall into a deep sleep, but couldn�t. Duo wasn�t sleeping. Maybe it was because of the nightmares, or just his intense fear, but it was clear to Trowa that the younger boy wasn�t getting the rest that he needed. For what seemed like the millionth time that week alone, he cursed Wes to hell for what he was doing to Duo. Now that he thought about it, even Duo�s voice sounded tired, like he was struggling just to speak, to find the right words.

�He�s coming for me,� Duo said, �I know that, more than I know anything else. Sooner or later, he�ll come for me and there�s no way I can stop him. But� maybe� if I see him coming, I can finally get one up on him. If I prepare myself, maybe I won�t be so helpless anymore��

�Duo,� Trowa said in a firm, yet not unkind voice, �When have you ever been prepared for him?�

Quatre stared at his lover with wide eyes. How could he possibly say something so cruel? How could he just poke at one of Duo�s fears so easily? To his surprise, Duo didn�t look offended at all by the question. The chestnut haired boy was shocked by it, but it seemed to be directed at the truth of what Trowa was saying more than any kind of insult.

�No matter how much warning you have, he�s going to take you by surprise,� Trowa told Duo with a kind voice, �Not because he�s that crafty, but because no matter what, he affects you the same way. Just by being around you, you become completely unprepared. No matter how long you sit here by this window, it�s not going to help you feel any safer. Duo� this is exactly what Wes wants from you. You just told us that he loves this, to torture people, and that�s true. He wants you scared, he wants you so paranoid that you can�t even sleep or feel safe in your own home. He wants you to be strung out, jumping at shadows and ghosts because that sort of sick thing amuses him. Is that what you want? To become another toy, another game to him? You ran away to get away from his nasty games, didn�t you? So why are you letting him terrorize you like this?�

Duo�s fingers tightened around Trowa�s hand, though Trowa didn�t think that the other boy even realized his reaction. Trowa�s emerald eyes widened as he saw the tears in his friend�s eyes and wondered if he had pushed him too hard.

�But I�m scared� all the time now,� Duo whispered, his voice thick with emotion, �All I can feel is that fear. Hate, sadness, regret, happiness� I can�t feel anything but� terror. I know he�s out there, that he�s probably watching my every move, and he�s going to try to kidnap me again, but I�ll never know when. How can I ever feel safe again? And the thing is� what I�m feeling now� it�s exactly how I felt when I was living with him! This fear� I�ve felt it before. It�s so strong, it hurts to breathe. Back then� back then, Wes was God. He decided if I ate, where I slept, who I fucked� he was everything, in the very air I breathed. He had complete control over me� Every day, I would wake up and wonder what horrible thing he would do to me next. �Will he shoot me? Will he strangle me until my neck snaps, or will he just fuck me until I bleed to death? Maybe he�ll shoot me up with something that will make me scream, or dress me up in something humiliating, or make me have sex with some old guy that will do something to take away one more scrap of humanity from me, if I even have any left.� I thought that every single day. Over and over� I�d wake up, in a strange bed, in my bed, on the floor, in the tub, and I�d feel my heart beating so fast, I thought I was going insane. Some days, I wanted to scream, just because I was still alive. And I felt completely helpless in that fear. So what if Wes, if my very existence scared the crap out of me? So what? It wasn�t like anyone cared! So why should I care? Every day that I was with him, every time I was scared and lonely and desperate, I gave up a little bit more. Just one more dream, just one more piece of my soul to him. Until there was nothing. I was empty inside, completely empty, except for that fear and knowing how much I hated myself.�

Quatre put a hand over his mouth, listening to Duo describe his past, a past they hadn�t been a part of, and felt his tears pouring over his cheeks and onto his hand. The hate he felt for Wes grew and grew with every word that Duo spoke. Trowa had concentrate very hard on not squeezing his hands into tight fists in his rage, lest he end up hurting his younger friend.

�And I feel that way now,� Duo struggled through his words, �Once again� he�s taken everything away from me. I don�t feel safe anymore. Just by seeing him again� it�s like I�m falling backwards in time. I remember� the most terrible things, things I�ve tried to throw away. He�s stealing those dreams away again and this time, I don�t want to let them go. But I feel empty� empty and tired,� Duo rubbed at his eyes, �I don�t understand it. It�s the same as back then� exactly the same. I lived through that, I survived it, so why� why does it hurt so much more now? Why do I feel so awful?�

Trowa pulled him into his arms, off the bed and into his lap, the both of them so distraught, they hadn�t even realized that Shiva had vacated for a safer spot under the bed with the other cats minutes ago, and wrapped his arms around Duo�s slender body, feeling it shake slightly.

�It hurts so much now because you�ve lived a better life,� Trowa murmured against Duo�s silken hair, �You�ve found people who love you and have given you a life that doesn�t have to be filled with those dark feelings. A life without fear� and now, you know that you shouldn�t have to feel that fear anymore. You didn�t know what a life without fear felt like before now. Even before you met Wes, you were afraid, weren�t you? You were never really safe, living on the streets, fighting each day for your life. You don�t have to do that anymore,� he tilted Duo�s chin up, forcing him to look him in the eye, �Even though Wes is back in your life, don�t go back to that dark place, Duo. We�re here for you and we will always protect you. Know that. Know that, no matter what sick thing he does to you, you have people who love you, and our love is real. It isn�t entangled with cruel games and sick tortures. We love you and we will do anything for you. We�ll fight for you. You aren�t alone anymore, you don�t have to be afraid. You don�t have to sit here, looking out this window any minute all by yourself. We�ll watch your back, so you don�t have to anymore. You�re safe now. You�re with your family.�

With those softly spoken words, filled with truth and an audible affection, something inside of Duo cracked. The tears that he had been stubbornly holding back broke forth and he sobbed violently in grief and hope that he had been repressing for a very long time. He curled up against Trowa, pressing his face into his chest to hide his torment, but Trowa could feel it in his shirt, wet from tears, the sounds of his sobs, and the shaking of his body, which suddenly felt so frail and vulnerable to Trowa. He held him tightly, trying to use his larger body to show his friend that he was capable of protecting him. He realized that they had all taken for granted Duo�s belief in their strength and resolve in their love. They had assumed that he knew their conviction to protect him, to care for him, even in the face of Wes� ugliness. They had been so sure that he knew all that� no one had ever thought to actually say it out loud� even if Duo believed it, to hear such promises had broken through the barrier of fear that had clouded his heart.

Trowa had no idea what to do, how to stop Wes, or even how to predict what the man would do next. He felt just as helpless as Duo probably felt. He certainly didn�t know how to heal the cracks in Duo�s heart. But maybe this was enough. Maybe, just holding him as he cried and making those promises was enough. For now, anyway.
　

End Part 25
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The Road to Kindness