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Worlds Collide	By : TheBatcave Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 766 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 30
- 31
- 32
Chapter 31: Reset
Please don't leave me... please don't leave me alone like this...
Gohan felt terrible that all he could think about was his own loneliness rather than what just happened to Cell. He sat on the floor against the bed, staring helplessly at the unconscious and now frighteningly still android on the floor in front of him. He stopped convulsing about ten minutes ago and hadn't moved since. His stomach began churning horribly.
So many thoughts were racing through his head at that moment.
Why was he convulsing like that? Why couldn't Gohan move to see if he was alright? Did he care enough to check? He didn't want to be alone, but part of him felt relief at not having that slight knot in his stomach every time he looked at him.
And what if... what if he could free himself?
If he destroyed his body, the soul would be in limbo with nowhere to go... did he want to let him go? Cell was vulnerable enough right now, all he had to do was raise his hand and -
"Mmph... " Cell squeezed his eyes shut even more as he came around. As he open them, he was confused as to why he was on the floor. As his vision focused again, he saw Gohan sat on the floor nearby.
"You okay?" asked Gohan awkwardly, trying not to say anything that would earn him yet another smack in the face.
"What... happened?" Cell's speech was slightly slurred and slow. It was as if he was struggling to get the words out. His head hurt badly as he shakily pushed himself upright.
"I think... it looked like you were having a seizure."
Cell had trouble taking that in. Is that what happened to him before he left the lookout? Why was it happening? As he struggled onto his feet, Gohan instinctively went to help him. Cell pushed him away in response.
"Don't touch me," he said dangerously with a seething look in his eyes. Gohan backed off immediately, and simply watched as he staggered out of the room.
Gohan followed him from a distance all the way to the kitchen. He was puzzled as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water, guzzling it down quickly as if he had an unquenchable thirst.
"Since when did you need water?" asked Gohan. As Cell finished his drink, he placed the empty glass on the middle island.
"What do you want?"
"What's going on with you?"
"Worried about me? Or worried you might lose out on your next fuck?" sneered the android, not looking at him.
"This is big, you can't just ignore it."
"You ignore your problems all the time."
"Cell, you had a seizure. It's a little different."
"Not really," he remarked, turning to face Gohan. "It's just that self harm and a split personality are easier to hide."
"This isn't about me!" he protested. "Has this happened before?" Cell rolled his eyes and didn't answer, which told Gohan all he needed to know. "You need help."
Cell laughed mockingly, avoiding eye contact.
"That's rich," he said harshly. "You're hardly in a position to tell me that I need help."
"So when it happens in front of anyone else, what then?"
Cell sighed, approaching him slowly.
"I'm leaving now. And you aren't going to mention this to anyone. Or again for that matter."
"Denial isn't going to stop you from collapsing like that."
"What did I just say?"
"You need to face this before it gets worse."
"So concerned about me, aren't you?" said Cell with a sly smile. "I don't know if it makes me sick or not. But it's making you squirm."
"Didn't have you down as a coward... "
Cell paused for a second... then seized Gohan by his hair.
"You'd think if it was that serious, then I wouldn't still have so much power over you," he said, pulling his head back.
"I can feel your hand shaking."
Cell let him go, then punched him hard in the face.
"Still shaking is it?!" he shouted. He buried his fist into Gohan's stomach, sending him down to his knees. Cell punched him again in the face - he couldn't seem to stop. Gohan ended up on the floor, not able to get up again; he curled up on his side with his arms around his head as he was kicked repeatedly in the abdomen. Gohan's stomach had been hurting since Cell collapsed, and this was only worsening his pain. The android dragged him back onto his feet by his gi. "Seems to be working fine to me."
Gohan had blood running from one of his nostrils, his torso felt battered and bruised.
"As if I'd let some worthless, junkie whore tell me that I'm broken."
"I never said you were," said Gohan, coughing slightly. "But you clearly think you are."
Cell had a rage in his eyes that Gohan hadn't seen in a long time. The android grabbed hold of the back of his head, and bent him over the middle counter, the edge of it felt like it was cutting into his bruises. He turned Gohan's head to one side so he was looking at the doorway. He pressed his head down hard against the counter, pinning his arm down in front of his face.
"One more word on the matter and I will kill you," he growled. "You think you can manipulate me?!" Cell leaned over him, his weight causing Gohan so much pain between the android pressing on him and the counter edge digging into his injured stomach. The saiyan began to whimper a little as he could no longer contain the agony, he could barely breathe.
At that moment he began to wonder where his defence was - where was his other half when he needed him? Cell pressed his nose and mouth against the side of Gohan's head.
"Do you still love me now?" he whispered. Gohan didn't answer. "Do you?!" he shouted straight into his ear, making Gohan jump.
"Let me go!" he cried, his voice barely coming out.
"You're the one who's broken here."
"Get the fuck off me!" yelled Gohan with every ounce of vocal strength he could manage, hopefully enough to alert anyone nearby. "Aah!" Cell squeezed his arm hard.
"You don't tell me what to do!" he screamed down his ear again, his nose and lips still right up against him. Gohan whimpered again out of both fright and pain.
"What the hell are you doing?!" shouted Jeice as he entered with Krillin, Tien and Yamcha. "Get off him!"
Cell looked at them, that rage still there. He yanked Gohan upright by his hair, his other hand closing around his throat, but not adding pressure.
"Oh look who's come to save you."
"Let go of him, Cell!" demanded Krillin.
"Come any closer and I'll snap his neck," threatened the android. "You know I don't make empty threats, don't you?" he said to Gohan, who could barely stand up, even with Cell holding him upright. "I hope you've learned your lesson, Gohan."
"Go fuck yourself," he spat, his voice shaking with the adrenaline.
Cell let go of him harshly, Gohan barely caught himself on the counter.
"You're all pathetic," snarled the android as he made a swift exit.
Gohan felt his anger explode at that point. He picked up the empty glass and threw it; it shattered loudly against the door frame, barely missing Cell as he left.
"BASTARD!" he screamed with the remainder of his strength. He then finally succumbed to his pain, sliding down the side of the counter clutching his stomach. He was caught by Jeice before he hit the floor.
"What the hell was that?! Are you okay?" he asked frantically as he held Gohan upright.
"Urgh... I'm fine. Forget it," he said through his teeth, obviously trying his best to breathe after having the wind knocked out of him.
"You're not fine, he was beating the crap out of you!" argued Krillin.
"I'm going to find Goku," said Yamcha.
"Don't!" Gohan protested, clutching his stomach.
"But Gohan - " said Tien.
"Please just... don't."
Jeice subtly shook his head towards them. Even if he did go to fetch Goku and the others, what would that achieve other than humiliating Gohan further?
"Let's at least get Dende to heal you," reasoned Tien.
"No... " Gohan was refusing in the grounds that there were too many people around him, knowing what he was going through.
"What about Bulma?"
"Just fucking leave me alone!" he yelled angrily.
Jeice gestured to them to back off. Gohan was visibly shaking with anger and the constant eyes on him weren't helping. As they left Gohan and Jeice alone, the saiyan seemed to calm a little.
"Come on, man. It's not their fault."
"I know... sorry," he sighed, mentally kicking himself for lashing out at the wrong people. Again.
Gohan finally agreed to be healed by Dende after a lot of persuasion. Jeice and Krillin managed to negotiate a no-questions-asked deal and requested Dende to be discrete on the matter. Nevertheless, it left Gohan feeling humiliated, he didn't know why he felt more embarrassed about being healed than being beaten in the first place.
Word spread around the house that training would begin the next day, with warriors from the afterlife and their respective Kais joining them to get them ready. Gohan was not looking forward to having to mingle, but at least he'd get to hit something. However, waiting for the chance to inflict pain on himself without resorting to his usual bad habits was becoming too much to bear.
He found himself back in the kitchen area later that evening. He knew it was the evening because the otherworld had merged so much with Earth that it now had a day-night cycle, which seemed to help everyone keep a grasp on time and help them to sleep. He opened up a utensil drawer and eyed up a small chopping knife.
He could wait until tomorrow... right?
"Some things never change."
Gohan jumped a little at the sound of his voice. Cell was stood leaning against the doorway, arms folded across his chest as if to hide the tremor in his hands.
"Feeling that itch?"
"Don't."
Gohan didn't need this right now. He was holding on by a thread and he knew that the android wasn't there to bring him back from the brink. Cell could easily talk him out of cutting himself in the past, but he could just as easily talk him into it as well. He reached into the drawer and took the knife into his hand, closing the drawer slowly. He took a few steps back and slid down the counters in the corner of the kitchen to sit on the floor - Cell was still in his direct line of sight. Gohan fidgeted, taking both ends of the knife in his hands and twirling it around.
"What are you waiting for?" asked Cell, a malicious look on his face.
Gohan avoided total eye contact with him. He longed for the android to come over and hurt him instead, he didn't want to have to do it himself. But Cell knew that, and remained where he was, taunting him from a distance. His breathing was ragged and uneven, his anxiety was through the roof as usual.
It was as an outer body experience, he barely felt it as it happened... he watched the knife going across his left inner forearm, his body almost physically shook with adrenaline as he bled slowly. He went to look up to Cell as if he was desperate to seek approval or something - but the android had disappeared, leaving him alone again.
Having already given into his addiction yet again, Gohan saw no reason to stop. He totally dissociated from himself and the world around him, feeling like a ghost watching himself cut into his skin over and over. It took him ten minutes to come back into reality a little when the realisation of what he'd done hit him in the form of searing pain and light-headedness...
His arms were covered in blood.
Gohan whimpered and shook as he saw the state of his arms, he'd cut himself 15 times on his left arm and 12 on the right, from his inner elbow to his wrists, his wristbands were on the floor and he could even recall when he took them off. He tried to sit up as he'd slumped down against the corner of the kitchen cupboards, but felt more pain from his stomach. He peered down to find he'd cut himself a couple of times on his abdomen as well.
He tried to use the handle on the cupboard next to him to hoist himself up, staining the white doors with red smears as he failed, feeling weaker by the minute. He panicked as he realised he was bleeding out. It was all over him, his clothes and the floor, and yet he still held onto the knife in his other hand. He went way too far this time and he was alone and in serious trouble. It was only a few long painful seconds before darkness overtook him.
"Somebody help!"
Goku's voice echoed through the house as he was the unfortunate discoverer of his eldest son a couple of hours later when he was in search of a snack. He ran over to Gohan, who hadn't moved since he fainted, his body pale and covered in blood, still slumped against the cupboards.
"What is it?!" Piccolo was next to emerge. "No, not again!"
This was all too familiar - this reminded him of when Gohan killed himself initially, he'd slit his own wrists in a similar manner. The knife was still loosely in Gohan's hand. Goku lifted Gohan's head up to check for a pulse.
"He's dead... " he gasped.
"No, he can't be!" Piccolo also tried to feel for a pulse on his neck as his wrists were badly injured, but he also felt nothing. Vegeta, Trunks, Krillin and Jeice were next to file in.
"What happened?!" asked Jeice.
"Is this Cell?" asked Vegeta, about ready to go after the android in question.
"I don't think so, he's done this before," said Piccolo.
"Done what?"
As Goku took Gohan into his embrace and sobbed into his hair, the chopping knife fell from Gohan's hand, clanking loudly on the kitchen floor.
"He killed himself," said Trunks. Jeice fell to his knees and cried to himself angrily, his face in his hands.
"Someone needs to tell your woman, Kakarot," said Vegeta quietly, not wanting to even imagine that conversation.
Silence followed, filled slightly with quiet sobbing - then they heard a noise coming from Goku.
Goku lifted his head up, wondering if he was imagining it, but then Gohan coughed again. Then again even louder. Gohan's eyes snapped open wide as he sucked in all the air that he could.
"Gohan?!"
It took him a few moments for reality to come back, then he saw his father's tear stained face staring back at him in shock.
"Dad?" His voice was cracked and quiet. Sighs of relief were all over the room, Piccolo kneeling down to Gohan and Goku's level to check Gohan's injuries.
"What the... "
Piccolo turned over Gohan's left arm to still find it covered in blood, but with no sign of any cuts, as if they'd magically healed themselves in an instant.
"Of course... death doesn't exist anymore."
"It... what?" asked Jeice. It was finally coming together for Piccolo.
"When you die now, your soul has nowhere to go but back into your body. It resets."
Gohan was already aware of course, Cell had already killed him once weeks earlier - not that anybody knew that. What he was more concerned with, was the fact that his darkest secret was out and in the worst way possible. Now everybody knew that he cut himself. And what was worse... he didn't even mean to kill himself, but now he wished he could stay dead rather than face the consequences.
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- 32
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Worlds Collide