Fathoming Love
folder
Dragon Ball Z › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
37
Views:
8,426
Reviews:
93
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Dragon Ball Z › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
37
Views:
8,426
Reviews:
93
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 32
Fathoming Love
Chapter 32
Finding Kakarot
“And then?” I asked.
“And then….” He smiled in that far off, exasperating look of his. “And then, I tried to help him find himself.
“If you think such a task is easy, perhaps, in a weird way, you’re totally right. In finding the ultimate of mysteries, Kakarot was actually quite a simple pupil. He merely followed me in what was to become a companionship of sorts. At first, in all his curious silence, I found his presence awkward, yet comforting. If you can imagine it, I stayed patient, never asking questions (of which you must know, I’m not much of a fan) and instead, carrying on in my own routine.
“I did just as I always had before, spouting out nasty insults whenever my brain felt compelled to form them, sleeping with more or less whatever caused a pleasant twitch in my pant-leg and basically just being myself.
“Yes, oh yes, he was pretty much appalled by the first two hours. No, he never said as much, remaining silent when I would walk beside Bulma in whichever ghastly shopping establishment she’d managed to drag me to; his mouth forever clamped when I would devilishly follow a heightened eyebrow into a dressing room when she wasn’t looking.
“His eyes caught the most intimate of moments, draped in shadows only my eyes could penetrate, watching when I’d whisper the most sadistic, repulsive of sexual advancements, seeing that first initial thrust, that first gathering of long hair in my hand when I would make them feel like anything other than what they truly were: namely, when I would make them think they were special. Make them see promises though truly, when I held that fisted ball of hair, when I stared savagely between thick lashes, all I saw was blue.
“Maybe Kakarot saw me at my most honest, when he probably caught glimpses of a pathetic longing when I glanced at her. When he probably saw that ridiculous smile I would only give her jokes, that slight, SO slight nod of appreciation when her mind would surpass ANY of my expectations and she would leave me forever her slave in all that unpredictable nature she could captivate me with.
“Fuck, but aren’t I the poet? Long, stupid sentences sadly thrown together. Here, let me simplify it for you: I liked her and he was the only one who really knew it.
“But… and allow me to toss a huge “but” in there…in all my school-boy adoration for Bulma, I will forever cherish a slightly uncontrollable lust for Kakarot himself. And yes, you can trust the handsome boy-scout is more than aware of the fact.
“In his quest to find himself, I got caught up in the adventure; I wanted to find Kakarot too.
“I guess the best way to describe the notion is that I saw this gorgeous crust of a person; this beautiful shell (lovely cliché, I know) of what I figured was just crawling behind the mask. I saw precisely what Kakarot wanted everyone around him to see yet hated at the same time: the fucking hero.
“And ok, yeah, Kakarot was and IS a hero. But besides that, I found a lot more.
“I found rage. I found hatred. I found all of the things that STUPID FUCKING grin attempted to conceal on a daily basis. I got to see it all. I got to see and hear that odd crunching, that weird grinding of porcelain on porcelain, that sound of granite ripping across itself when Chi Chi’s nauseating voice would screech its way through the air. I could even see it, the slight twitch in the corner of his eyes, the way the skin near the bridge of his nose would crinkle, teeth grinding like dry chalk when she would call him words I know he’d heard a thousand times a day.
“ “You’re so stupid.” “You’re so naïve.” “You’re so blind.”
“Blind.
“God, but aren’t the self-assured most often the culprits of blindness? She never understood, in all her red-faced-rage, that the more often she assumed anything about him, the more often he drifted further from her.
“And I got to see it, two eyes grinning in the darkness behind his house, watching the way he looked in her face and for whatever reason, saw mine.”
He threw his head back.
“Yes Tazial,” He smiled sweetly, that flirtatious manner that had raped a thousand hearts unapologetically. “Kakarot saw me. In self-exploration, sometimes, we find things we never truly wanted to know at all. In good there is ALWAYS some bad. And so, Kakarot began to whisper for me when he threw himself over her.
“His voice would carry nothing more than a breath, impossible for Chi Chi to interpret in all her awful moaning. “Come closer”, he would taunt, daring me to, knowing I would simply for the fact. “Come closer, see me, watch me…”
“Kakarot probably had never wanted to even acknowledge the fact, yet he embraced his infatuation quite honestly, following me despite his better nature and indulging occasionally in what he normally would have hated.
“I showed him his true nature, panting beside him when women (other than his wife) would bounce on our laps, laughing terribly when, in his drunkenness, he would call them by her name.
“I wanted him to love violence as I did, wanting him to kill in the name of instincts when his upbringing ordered him not to. I wanted blood to overwhelm conscience and despite all attempts, I never really won that battle.
“One day I let him watch them, let him see the true evil that existed in the hearts of truly evil men. I made him sit, made him see, made him watch as darkness consumed that which he protected and men (that he himself had probably resurrected at one point) raped and battered a child forced into prostitution.
“I made him sit in horror as women were sexually assaulted, forced into the most deranged and demeaning positions, too young, too stupid, as their bodies were displayed for a camera. I made him see the souls of men who touch tiny boys, who whisper evil secrets into the innocent, who whisper evil promises into the blindly faithful.
“I made him see that even heroes can fail and in that, I wanted to destroy him.
“I wanted him to kill as I did. I wanted him to tear tubes from throats that spoke lies and I wanted him to bathe in cleansing blood from those that had no right to contain it. I wanted my own justice and I wanted him to embrace it.
“But he never did.
“I would hold sets of lungs before his eyes, damaged with drugs the owner had sold to addicts, wanting so badly for him to nod in approval. I would throw genitals across a room, splattering against walls that had witnessed the sodomizing of infants. I would tear the hands from those that had squeezed the breath from innocent fools and I would wait, just WAIT for him to understand why I’d done it in the first place.
“But he never did.”
“You wanted him to condone you,” I spoke timidly, never meeting his eyes. “You knew the loop holes in your own justice and you wanted his approval to fill them.”
He stayed silent for the moment, nodding finally.
“But he never did,” he spoke it once more.
Chapter 32
Finding Kakarot
“And then?” I asked.
“And then….” He smiled in that far off, exasperating look of his. “And then, I tried to help him find himself.
“If you think such a task is easy, perhaps, in a weird way, you’re totally right. In finding the ultimate of mysteries, Kakarot was actually quite a simple pupil. He merely followed me in what was to become a companionship of sorts. At first, in all his curious silence, I found his presence awkward, yet comforting. If you can imagine it, I stayed patient, never asking questions (of which you must know, I’m not much of a fan) and instead, carrying on in my own routine.
“I did just as I always had before, spouting out nasty insults whenever my brain felt compelled to form them, sleeping with more or less whatever caused a pleasant twitch in my pant-leg and basically just being myself.
“Yes, oh yes, he was pretty much appalled by the first two hours. No, he never said as much, remaining silent when I would walk beside Bulma in whichever ghastly shopping establishment she’d managed to drag me to; his mouth forever clamped when I would devilishly follow a heightened eyebrow into a dressing room when she wasn’t looking.
“His eyes caught the most intimate of moments, draped in shadows only my eyes could penetrate, watching when I’d whisper the most sadistic, repulsive of sexual advancements, seeing that first initial thrust, that first gathering of long hair in my hand when I would make them feel like anything other than what they truly were: namely, when I would make them think they were special. Make them see promises though truly, when I held that fisted ball of hair, when I stared savagely between thick lashes, all I saw was blue.
“Maybe Kakarot saw me at my most honest, when he probably caught glimpses of a pathetic longing when I glanced at her. When he probably saw that ridiculous smile I would only give her jokes, that slight, SO slight nod of appreciation when her mind would surpass ANY of my expectations and she would leave me forever her slave in all that unpredictable nature she could captivate me with.
“Fuck, but aren’t I the poet? Long, stupid sentences sadly thrown together. Here, let me simplify it for you: I liked her and he was the only one who really knew it.
“But… and allow me to toss a huge “but” in there…in all my school-boy adoration for Bulma, I will forever cherish a slightly uncontrollable lust for Kakarot himself. And yes, you can trust the handsome boy-scout is more than aware of the fact.
“In his quest to find himself, I got caught up in the adventure; I wanted to find Kakarot too.
“I guess the best way to describe the notion is that I saw this gorgeous crust of a person; this beautiful shell (lovely cliché, I know) of what I figured was just crawling behind the mask. I saw precisely what Kakarot wanted everyone around him to see yet hated at the same time: the fucking hero.
“And ok, yeah, Kakarot was and IS a hero. But besides that, I found a lot more.
“I found rage. I found hatred. I found all of the things that STUPID FUCKING grin attempted to conceal on a daily basis. I got to see it all. I got to see and hear that odd crunching, that weird grinding of porcelain on porcelain, that sound of granite ripping across itself when Chi Chi’s nauseating voice would screech its way through the air. I could even see it, the slight twitch in the corner of his eyes, the way the skin near the bridge of his nose would crinkle, teeth grinding like dry chalk when she would call him words I know he’d heard a thousand times a day.
“ “You’re so stupid.” “You’re so naïve.” “You’re so blind.”
“Blind.
“God, but aren’t the self-assured most often the culprits of blindness? She never understood, in all her red-faced-rage, that the more often she assumed anything about him, the more often he drifted further from her.
“And I got to see it, two eyes grinning in the darkness behind his house, watching the way he looked in her face and for whatever reason, saw mine.”
He threw his head back.
“Yes Tazial,” He smiled sweetly, that flirtatious manner that had raped a thousand hearts unapologetically. “Kakarot saw me. In self-exploration, sometimes, we find things we never truly wanted to know at all. In good there is ALWAYS some bad. And so, Kakarot began to whisper for me when he threw himself over her.
“His voice would carry nothing more than a breath, impossible for Chi Chi to interpret in all her awful moaning. “Come closer”, he would taunt, daring me to, knowing I would simply for the fact. “Come closer, see me, watch me…”
“Kakarot probably had never wanted to even acknowledge the fact, yet he embraced his infatuation quite honestly, following me despite his better nature and indulging occasionally in what he normally would have hated.
“I showed him his true nature, panting beside him when women (other than his wife) would bounce on our laps, laughing terribly when, in his drunkenness, he would call them by her name.
“I wanted him to love violence as I did, wanting him to kill in the name of instincts when his upbringing ordered him not to. I wanted blood to overwhelm conscience and despite all attempts, I never really won that battle.
“One day I let him watch them, let him see the true evil that existed in the hearts of truly evil men. I made him sit, made him see, made him watch as darkness consumed that which he protected and men (that he himself had probably resurrected at one point) raped and battered a child forced into prostitution.
“I made him sit in horror as women were sexually assaulted, forced into the most deranged and demeaning positions, too young, too stupid, as their bodies were displayed for a camera. I made him see the souls of men who touch tiny boys, who whisper evil secrets into the innocent, who whisper evil promises into the blindly faithful.
“I made him see that even heroes can fail and in that, I wanted to destroy him.
“I wanted him to kill as I did. I wanted him to tear tubes from throats that spoke lies and I wanted him to bathe in cleansing blood from those that had no right to contain it. I wanted my own justice and I wanted him to embrace it.
“But he never did.
“I would hold sets of lungs before his eyes, damaged with drugs the owner had sold to addicts, wanting so badly for him to nod in approval. I would throw genitals across a room, splattering against walls that had witnessed the sodomizing of infants. I would tear the hands from those that had squeezed the breath from innocent fools and I would wait, just WAIT for him to understand why I’d done it in the first place.
“But he never did.”
“You wanted him to condone you,” I spoke timidly, never meeting his eyes. “You knew the loop holes in your own justice and you wanted his approval to fill them.”
He stayed silent for the moment, nodding finally.
“But he never did,” he spoke it once more.