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The Meaning of Pride	By : CardDragonBall Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 13043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Meaning of Pride
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-LEMONY INTERLUDE Tr/Gt
- 21-20
- 22-21
- 23-22
- 24-23
- 25-24
- 26-25
- 27-26
- 28-27
- 29-28
- 30-29
- 31-30
- 32-31
- 33-32
- 34-33
- 35-34
- 36-35
- 37-36
- 38-37
- 39-38
- 40-39
- 41-40
- 35
- 36
- 37
The Meaning of Pride

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Time
for the warnings portion:

A.
I own nothing but my own two hands.
All the characters portrayed here were kidnapped from their show DBZ and
forced to enact my wishes.

B.
Whilst mostly I strive to make this �in character� and not �AU� we must
all remember it is fanfiction. (I�m
getting a bit snotty here, aren�t I?)

C.
Smut. Vegeta POV. Slash.
(That�s two boys bumping uglies, by the way.)

D.
If you didn�t read the warnings, you are on your own I have no sympathy
for you.

And
lastly:

Got this idea off the DBZ Saiyan
Slash mailing list. Will probably be
posting it there and at AFF.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

It
was a pretty good rule of thumb that the smellier it was on the outside, the
better it tasted when it was skinned, cooked and eaten. (Take cows for example, sta stank horrible,
but he liked a good steak as much as the next man.) So when he hunted, it was generally his sense of smell that
guided him. Today he was distracted,
and he was trailing a wild boar. (One
of those big things, like the one that had followed Chichi home that one time
when she yelled at him and Piccolo and then he had to try and get a driver�s license
like he couldn�t fly and instant transmission anywhere he needed to go.) Not the best meal, but he was reasonably
distracted by the disturbing whirlwind of thoughts in his mind.

So he
followed after it slowly, lingered in the air above where it was�like one of
those birds of prey�and waited for the boar to get lazy. (Normally he liked to hunt them while they
were aware he was following, loved the chase that almost always ensued, but if
he was really hungry or distracted, he would just wait for them to get lazy and
give up.) He floated in the air and
watched the boar, watched him walk around and snand and eat grass and dirt and
bugs and what not.

Thought
about Gohan. About what he had
said. Or what he hadn�t said. Sure, he told Vegeta the truth. Gohan had been less than pleased that Tien
had been killed. He had been next to
stunned into complete silence as he said: �You just stood there and let him
kill Tien?� As if this was a mortal
crime for which Goku would never be forgiven.
And most of the time, Goku was a bit in the gray area about what was �wrong�
in this sense of things. Because, he,
himself, would never have killed Tien.
But he wasn�t Vegeta (it seemed like he was repeating this to himself a
lot lately) and thusly he not not the one who had killed Tien. He wasn�t the one that Tien wanted to
kill. But Gohan had been so�disgusted
by him. Disappointed. (Goku half wished that Chichi was still
alive so he could ask her if he had done something wrong, but he figured she
probably would have smacked him upside his head with a frying pan, told him to
go gather up the Dragon Balls and besides, if she was alive, he wouldn�t be
with Vegeta so why did it matter?)
Gohan�s past words returned to him, in a clarity that was actually
sickening.

�He�s
a killer� How could you touch something
like that? How could you? How could you? How could you?� Then
there was the things that Gohan hadn�t said, but had stood next to those that
spoke them, had nodded his head in agreement had thought they were the utter
truth and that somehow those truths degraded Goku. ��let that thing fuck you?
He�s destroyou.you. He�s using
you. How could you?� Always that fucking question. How could you?! Well, how could he what?!
And for that matter, why did everyone assume that Vegeta was fuckign him? Why did that make a difference? Why did his son give him that look, when he
told him about Tien that just demanded �HOW COULD YOU?!� And implied �ITS BECAUSE YOU LET HIM FUCK
YOU.� And then the uncertainty,
the not knowing, the way that Vegeta didn�t want anyone to know about it at
all, and that was fine because it wasn�t anyone�s business, but what difference
did it make in the end? If someone knew
would it be over? Would this thing
between them just die? How many times
did he have to pat his son on the back and tell him that �it was all alright�
and play the impartial parent when his son told him yet again that he hated
Vegeta. Gave him those eyes �How could
you?!�

It
was the feeling of heat that woke Goku up from his thoughts, warmth and wet,
and when he looked down he was holding the boar�s head. Just the head. Because he had twisted it straight off its body, and the blood
was running over his hands, and the eyes were staring at him. He stared back at it.

Heard
that question in his mind again: how could you?

And
dropped the gs hgs head. Stood there
for a long moment, and just looked, watched it bleed and looked at his own
hands, and wondered how it was that he could have dove that fast and attacked
the bore so strongly that he ripped it apart without noticing. Wanted Vegeta to show up and tell him he did
a good job or something, to remind him that he was a Saiyan after all, and that
even if he killed the boar a different way it would still be dead. But Vegeta wasn�t there.

The
memory of Gohan�s glare was there. And
Piccolo�s cryptic little smirk. And the
fact that everyone thought Vegeta was fucking him, and the question that
lingered inside of him that had yet to find an answer. What happened if someone found out (someone
besides Bulma) and why did it matter so damn much?

~~~***

The green thing showed up when Kakarot was
far enough away that he wouldn�t be paying attention anymore. Vegeta gave Piccolo a glare and watched him
smirk. (The smirk didn�t annoy him
nearly as much as that fucking smile had.)
�Goku told me what happened.�

Vegeta
wondered if he was going to have the same draining sense of dread every time he
heard that phrase, of it if would eventually go away. Life would have been made much simpler if Kakarot had just let
him kill the bastard when he had attacked Trunks. But no, he hadn�t. He had
stopped him, because Kakarot respected life, and it had come to the question of
Pride, and now every time something or someone reminded him of that, he would
remember the fucking tri-clops smile and that arrogant little question: �Where�s
your pride?�

�And?�
was all he said to Piccolo.

�I
admire your patience,� was what the green thing said.

Which
astounded him. One of these stupid �z-
fighter�s was actually telling him that he was patient? And seemingly giving him the �thumbs-up� for
his decision to finally be rid of the prejudiced little pest. What a fucking upside down world they were
standing in.

�But,�
and the green thing got very, darkly serious, �You need to take care of
Goku. It hardly needs to be said, but
he�s not as stupid as he likes to act.�

Hn. Which probably explained the way his son was
watching him like an eagle when he went to Bulma�s that morning, all anxious
and as soon as he saw Kakarot with him it was like everything was made
right. Apparently this asshole�dead asshole
that is�had won somehow by leaving his lasting mark of disgusting logic on
them. Look at him, walking around afraid
that someone would find out that he let Kakarot take him. (Because you�re afraid someone will think
you�re weak.) And Kakarot was� Somewhere.

�But
if anyone knew, would we have to stop doing it?� So he lied. He knew the
answer to that question. Yes. They would.
And he knew that Kakarot knew it too.
Or he wouldn�t have asked.

And
the Green thing apparently had said his piece because he gave him another
little smirk and took off. Probably
because Kakarot was coming back, bloody�he was never blood when he went hunting�and
carrying a headless boar. He had
speared it with a tree branch (which he had stripped of bark) and he stabbed
the spear into the ground. (No blood
came out of the boar�s body, which would explain just why Kakarot was covered
in it.)

And
seeing how he was not by any means the sort of Saiyan that was good at �beating
around the bush� he decided that directness was the best course of action. (Naturally, he decided this, realized this
included him confronting Kakarot about his worries and then wasn�t so sure that
directness was the best coruse of action.
Which naturally made him pissed at himself for being such a fucking
wimp. He was the Prince of
Saiyans. He wasn�t a wimp.)

�Kakarot,�
he said, �What�s wrong?�

This
made his lover blink at him. �Nothing�s
wrong, Vegeta.�

His
whole name. Not that annoying nickname �Geta. Which meant that there was something and
that something was of the nature that Kakarot didn�t want to tell. �Yes there is.�

�No,
I don�t think there is, Vegeta.�

There
was his name again. He remembered this
argument. It was like the ones he had
with Bulma when he was in her house.
When he was being a �bastard� and she had refused to tell him that he
was a fuck up, just ignored him and was rude but wouldn�t just spit it
out. And it pissed him off that Kakarot
was standing there with that slightly-skewed idiot�s grin on his face. Wouldn�t tell him the truth. And fuck him, because there was nothing
Vegeta hadn�t shown him, what was Kakarot�s problem that he wasn�t capable of doing
the same? �Then why are you so nervous?�

�I�m
not.�

What
a fucking liar. Did Vegeta look
stupid? Honestly, did he have a huge
sign around his neck that said �Lie to me, I like it?� But this was Kakarot. He liked Kakarot, did not want to hurt him,
did not want to fight with him. Just
wanted to know what was going on behind the idiot grin. �Dammit,� he growled, �Stop being such a
fucking human, Kakarot and tell me what�s wrong!� And Vegeta instantly realized that something he had said
triggered an auto-response in Kakarot that was not about to be tempered by his �play-nice�
human side.

�WHAT
the FUCK do YOU WANT from ME?!� Kakarot exploded, �I�m not HUMAN enough for
everyone else and I�m not SAIYAN enough to please you so what the hell do you
WANT?!� He was shouting as loudly as he
had, and it was rather impressive and fucking annoying to be shouted at like a
disobedient child. �Why is it that
nobody ever wants me to be myself? Huh,
Vegeta? I�m not Goku to you because
Goku isn�t good enough. So I have to be
Kakarot! And then I�m not Saiyan enough
to be Kakarot because I don�t tell you every little thing. Well, oh well, Vegeta. You�re not the only one that has thoughts,
you know! I might be stupid, but I�m
not that stupid.� A pause
here. �And why can�t we tell anyone
Vegeta? Huh? What difference does that make?
You can let everyone think that you�re fucking me, but nobody can
know that it�s the other way around?
Its alright if nobody knows that I can touch you but the second someone
finds out I�m not good enough for it anymore?�
He looked like there was more, but he just stopped. �Whatever,� he said, �Here�s lunch.�

As if
they were going to eat lunch now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt'>Macha:

*sniffs
air * No, that�s not a plot twist, its
brownies! *looks at Mechanical
Butterfly seriously * Yeah, not sure
that qualifies as �a hunt� but that�s what Goku did when he found lunch.

Jaygoose:

*picks
up some more rotten fruit * *realizes
she�s holding rotten fruit and drops it instead of tossing it at Jaygoose
* Anyway. I loved the chapters.
Yeah chapters!

Mechanical Butterfly:

Vegeta
and Bulma were just talking. That was
it.

You
see, that suspicion you had about Goku asking that there question paid off didn�t
it? You were right to be
suspicious. *wink * Now our dear Saiyans get to have a fight. *gets all misty eyed * Their first fight.

Suuuuuuuuuuure,
they�re brownies! Whatever! I know the truth! *glares at doppelganger Goku *
that was all very LMAO btw. (I
can use LMAO now, because I know what it means! Yeah!)

Getarian:

Yeah,
next time you�re washing the filthy clothes.
Yes there were toxic fumes. And
little �biohazard� signs all around them.

(Look
at me and my pathetic short response.)
Yeah, I agree with you on Vegeta�s POV.
He would definitely see what happens in their bedroom as their business
only. And I agree with that
completely. But, at the same time, I
don�t think Goku really understands on all levels that it has nothing to do
with him. I mean, here he has all these
people (for the past five-six months) telling him that Vegeta�s evil, that he�s
evil for being with tha that he�s wrong, that �Vegeta�s fucking him� and that
because of that, he is being used. And
then, Vegeta goes off and kills Tien after the bastard finds out that Goku is
the one doing the fucking. So, what is
a poor earth-raised Saiyan to think?
Plus, I think, on some instinctual level, that need for the �fight for
dominance� is still there, but it won�t be expressed (on Goku�s part) through a
real fight.

So�basically,
Goku needs a hug. And Vegeta didn�t
give him a hug when he needed it. So� Now we get that fight you were waiting
for! (I have so been building up this
fight since chapter 18 or 19 when Tien first says �How can you let that thing
fuck you?� But nobody really commented
on it. *sigh* I bet they�ll comment now!!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

*cough *

See you on AY fAY folks! *Mwhahahaha, cliffy. *
- 35
- 36
- 37
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The Meaning of Pride

The Meaning of Pride

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