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The Road to Kindness	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7934 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 36
- 37
- 38
The Road to Kindness
Chapter 8
Part 5
　

The only word Duo could come up with to describe his school day was �strange�. From the moment he had walked through the doors in the morning with Trowa and Quatre, he kept looking over his shoulder, expecting Heero to be there. And every time Duo realized he wasn�t, his heart dropped down into his stomach. He felt lonely and vulnerable, in a way that he hadn�t felt since Heero had moved here. They had always been together, even when they hadn�t been speaking to each other. He had always known that Heero would be there, if he needed him. Now that he wasn�t, it was just strange. Sure, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei were trailing him, forming a sort of barrier between him and everyone else, but it wasn�t the same.

It was really, really pathetic, Duo thought as his teacher droned on, he couldn�t even go a couple hours knowing that Heero wasn�t around without nearly freaking out. He felt hollow and on edge without his best friend there, watching his back, comforting him with just a glance. He hated himself for feeling that dependent on anyone. Ever since Boston, he had yearned to be stronger, to make Heero see that he wasn�t weak. Ever since their walk on the beach together, he had promised himself that he wouldn�t let Wes turn him into a cowardly little boy again, willing to do anything, obey any order, just to hide from pain. So, that it was Heero�s leaving, and not Wes� threat, hanging in the air around him, that was making him tremble was so stupid.

Duo glanced behind him. Maybe it wouldn�t be so bad if he didn�t have a few classes all by himself. Just like he had thought, he was staring at him again. Zechs. Duo quickly looked back at the teacher, blushing slightly with frustration. The silver-haired bully had always made his hair stand on end, even before he had solicited him and started to become out of control when he found out that he and Heero were living together. Realistically, Zechs was nowhere near as dangerous or threatening as Wes, but he had always scared him. Heero had proven to the older boy that if Zechs ever did anything to Duo, Heero would come after him, and that was something that even the ice-blue eyed boy couldn�t risk. But now Heero wasn�t here and in every one of the classes he had with Zechs, he was there, staring at him.

Duo chewed on his upper lip as the teacher concluded their lesson. He didn�t want to live his life like this, scared of people like Zechs unless Heero was around. Hadn�t he grown up enough to be able to take care of himself instead of relying on others like a little kid? He supposed that it was ok to lean on Heero a little. If there was one thing their little talk on the beach had made him realize, it was that he wasn�t the only one that needed this friendship, wasn�t the only one who needed to lean on others for a little while. And maybe that was fine, with Wes stalking him. Maybe it was fine to borrow from Heero�s strength with him practically shaking just with having to walk outside, but he didn�t want to be like that all the time.

Zechs was just a kid, like him, he told himself. Why should Heero have to save him from someone like that, someone who just pushed him around because he was bigger and stronger? With Wes, it was different. It wasn�t because Wes was bigger than him. It wasn�t because he had cops paid off or had ties to mob types. Duo knew that, even if Wes hadn�t had all that power, he still would have done everything the same; raping him, turning all those kids and teens into whores and drug mules, killing people who just looked at him funny� all the games and mind fucks. Zechs did what he did because he could, because he thought he could get away with it. Wes did it because he liked it. When his favorite toy had been taken away, Zechs had given it up, pined after it, but stayed in the shadows, waiting for a weak point. Wes had never given up. He had pushed back.

Duo felt a little shudder go up his spine at that thought. If Zechs thought that the only reason why their relationship had changed was because of Heero, and thought that the Japanese boy was the only thing standing in his way, maybe he would try something today. It scared him and that fear frustrated him. He had come so far lately, and he had thought he would never have to be scared of Zechs again. It made him feel like he was taking huge steps back, the tightening of his heart feeling those icy eyes on his back.

He had come too far to let this boy make him feel like the lost and terrified little boy he had been in middle school, his very first year, showing up with ripped jeans and half-used notebooks he had fished out the garbage. He had stunk worse than the notebooks, of sweat and sex, cigarette smoke and beer. He had smelled like every gutter and sleezy hotel he had ever been in, his braided hair heavy and greasy against his too-thin t-shirt. The girls used to joke that if they stood too close to him, they would get lice.

His glasses had been too big for his face and they very first day, he had shook as he sat in class, terrified that someone would figure out what he really was. And when no one had, somehow, that had been much worse. That first day, Zechs and his thug friends had descended on him like wolves on a lost fawn, gleefully with bared teeth. It had been at that moment, feeling the toe of Zechs� boot digging into his painfully thin side, right into his ribs, that he had realized that nothing would ever change. Even if he got away from Wes, someone would take his place. Someone or something else would be there to shove him back down, where he belonged.

The bell rang loudly, indicating the end of the period and the start of lunch, rousing Duo sharply from his dark reminiscing. He shook his head at himself. In the end, he had been wrong, hadn�t he? The thought made him smile softly. He had gotten his own knight riding a white horse to rescue him from the fire breathing dragon. He almost chuckled at that. The analogy was all wrong. There was a silver sports car instead of white horse, no knight, just an easily angered, once arrogant teenaged boy. And no one, not even Name and Heero, could save him from the real villain. Zechs was more like a troll, and Wes the black dragon. Duo sure as hell wasn�t a princess.

That was the difference he supposed, the princess was supposed to let the knight or prince take care of her, to do all the fighting. But Duo didn�t want that. He yearned for someone to take care of him, sure, but he didn�t want to be like some pathetic chick who would be content to let �the man� do everything for her. He didn�t just want to take, that seemed so hollow and useless to him. He wanted to be the one to fend the dragon off, or at least help. He wanted that feeling of power, of accomplishment. He wanted to take control of his life, and to make Heero proud of him. He didn�t want to be that lost little boy anymore, needing to be saved from a bully. In the end, he wasn�t in the gutter anymore, the way that Zechs had made him feel hadn�t been a prophecy, and he refused to let the silver haired boy make him feel that way he had felt when he had been younger, the second Heero was away.

Duo got out of his seat and pushed past Zechs, defiantly, and was gratified when he wasn�t grabbed or tripped, his hair wasn�t pulled, and he wasn�t chased after. Every instinct he had buzzed in his ear, screaming at him to look back, to make sure that the silver haired boy wasn�t going to try anything, but he refused to. He refused to give Zechs the satisfaction of knowing that he had rattled him. He refused to really let himself realize that, either. Instead, he forced himself to focus on how empty he felt as he walked down the hallway towards the lunch room. It wasn�t anymore comforting than his fears about Zechs. An entire school year had gone by with Heero as his constant shadow. Now, he felt like he had lost the other half of his soul.

He took a deep breath as he entered the lunch room. He was being melodramatic, he knew that, but there was just this weird feeling in his gut, a strange mix of anxiety and that prickling you got when you knew that something was wrong, you just couldn�t figure out what it was. Duo felt eyes on him as he walked towards the table that he and his friends usually sat at, where Wufei was already sitting and reading something as he ate, but he knew that it wasn�t Zechs this time. It was the same curious stare he had been getting all day. He and Heero hadn�t been apart since that terrible fight they had had, the one that had made Duo stop going to school. Obviously, Heero�s absence now was gaining a lot of attention and question from his classmates.

Duo gritted his teeth and made a beeline for Wufei. When had his life become a spectator sport, nothing more than a bit of entertainment for other people, like some stupid tabloid or pointless reality show featuring some two-bit celebrity? Why was it that, the only time any of these people cared to look him in the eye, was when something bad was happening in his life? Otherwise, they couldn�t be bothered. And they had always thought that they were better than him, because he had smelled bad and wore worn clothing, because he had been bullied. Wufei noticed him and smiled up at him, then returned to his reading, his expression turning deadly serious and almost worried. Duo smiled, too. What was going on in his life was the only business of his friends�, and he couldn�t count a single one of the people staring at him as that.

He sat down at the table and started to eat his lunch, which Name had packed before she had left this morning. Potato salad, slices of strawberry, milk, and those little, pre-packaged vanilla cakes covered in a thin layer of frosting and filled with cream (1). They were cheap and as bad for you as you could get, but he had fallen in love with them the very first time Heero had bought one for him on a whim. There was just something so� childish and wonderful about them. Name always lectured him about eating them, that they could easily find a snack for him that tasted better and wasn�t so fattening, yet every so often, he found one of the little cakes in his lunches anyway. His smile grew. If he could define motherhood in something so small and simple, it would be a woman who loved you enough to give you things she thought were bad for you every now and again, just because she knew you liked them.

Duo finished his lunch quickly, his appetite back with a vengeance today, ironic considering that, emotionally, he didn�t feel like eating at all, and was completely aware that the prickling feeling along the back of his neck was from a stare too sharp and chilling to be mere curiosity. He kept his head down, knowing that those eyes would be ice blue and that just not looking at Zechs wouldn�t keep him from staring at him like that. Fear gripped his heart again. Where were Quatre and Trowa? He suddenly realized that like slap to the face and looked up. He had been eating for at least fifteen minutes now, but the other two boys still hadn�t shown up at their table. He looked around shakily but couldn�t spot a little blonde or very tall brunette with green eyes anywhere.

What if Zechs had already tried something? He remembered what the older boy had done in Boston, how he had cornered Quatre to get the card key to their hotel room. But they were home now, surely Zechs couldn�t be so stupid as to try to attack Quatre again? Besides, while he didn�t have Heero right now, Quatre had his own shield. Trowa would never let anything bad happen to Quatre, just like how Heero would never let anything bad happen to Duo, and Duo would never let anything bad happen to Heero. He didn�t think that Zechs could overpower both Quatre and Trowa. Quatre was little, but stubborn, and Trowa was the same height as Zechs was, maybe an inch or two taller. But Zechs was bulkier, stronger. Duo knew firsthand how strong� no, how crazy he could be. What if he had� Duo glanced over at Wufei, who was still reading something, looking completely focused on it.

�What is that?� he finally asked, unable to keep his curiosity at bay.

Wufei looked up at him, startled, then blushed, which intrigued Duo further. The Chinese boy considered him for a moment, as though he were trying to decide something. After a few seconds, he slid the piece of paper over to Duo across the table.

�A letter, from Fai,� Wufei murmured.

Duo�s violet eyes lit up and he all at once forgot about Zechs and missing Heero.

�He managed to write to you?!� he exclaimed, remembering the shy, Chinese boy fondly.

�And a phone call,� Wufei confessed.

�He got home ok?� Duo asked.

�I think so,� Wufei said hesitantly, remembering Fai�s inability to talk about his father�s anger, �Name gave him a cell phone, but he has to hide it from his father, so he only has a small window of time to call. I� I haven�t heard from him for a couple of days.�

Wufei paused, seeming unsure again.

�Could you� could you do me a favor?� he asked.

�Sure,� Duo nodded eagerly, �Anything you want.�

�It�s just� something that Quatre said yesterday, about his sister worrying about war. It reminded me about something Fai wrote, something he refused to talk about,� Wufei tried to explain.

Duo quickly scanned the letter, feeling like a voyeur in doing so. The letter was incredibly personal and Duo forced himself to skip over references to things he didn�t understand, mentions of things that only two lovers should know, and Fai�s feelings towards his family and focused only on Fai�s fears and paranoia about the possible upcoming war in his homeland. Even as detached as he was from the whole situation, he felt a chill reading Fai�s words. Duo had never really concerned himself with the rest of the world. War, greed, plague, racism� He didn�t need to turn on the news to see those things. He had seen them every day, on the street, living with Wes, among his classmates� His life had been one great war, a battle just to survive.

Besides, when would he have ever had the occasion to watch the news? Wes only really turned the television on if there was a game on, or for the weather. He would say that all those other shows, particularly the sitcoms, were all trash. He hadn�t even liked the porn channels, saying that if he needed to jack off, well, that was what he had Duo for. Chris had liked to watch the news, though, especially when there was an election on. Wes would just sneer at the politicians, often referring to them as little kids playing at court jester.

Duo doubted that Wes had ever had much faith in government, considering that he worked on the dark side of it every day and had never gotten caught. Duo had always had a similar attitude. What had any of those sweet talking, smiling politicians promising a better future ever done for him, or anyone else he had ever known, for that matter? The news, to him, had always been just one bad story after another. People getting into car accidents, escaped convicts, the mildest he had ever seen was lost pets. He knew that Trowa and Quatre watched the news with Name all the time to keep in touch with the rest of the world, but the last thing Duo thought he needed in his life was hearing other people�s bad news.

He really had no idea what was happening in either Wufei or Quatre�s countries, but even an oblivious kid like him didn�t see war as a far off reality. The world economy was so bad, whole countries were going bankrupt. Some guy had gone around blowing up banks in Paris because the company that owned the banks had pulled some unethical loan procedure on him, resulting in them repossessing his home. He had blown up seven banks during their busiest hours over the course of two months before the cops had finally managed to catch him. He had killed over four hundred people. Duo only remembered it because Chris had made some remark at the time that had disgusted Duo.

There were wars already happening in Africa and South America, that he knew of, and some kind of plague in Hawaii that had caused all of the islands to be quarantined in the past year. Was it really so hard to imagine that other countries were on the brink of war? Just because there hadn�t been any incidents here, in New England, it didn�t mean that Duo was so arrogant that he would believe that nothing would ever happen here. And did some bombings really add up to a full-fledged war? Was Fai just over-reacting, or was he really in danger? If a war did break out, would Fai be safe, or would he be forced into the army?

�Well?� Wufei asked as Duo looked up from the letter, �Do you think I�m being stupid, worrying about all this? Ever since I got that letter, all I can think about is getting him out of China, back here, where it�s safe. Am I being ridiculous?�

Wufei�s expression was anxious and filled with the worry he felt in his heart. It was hard to look at him. Again, Duo felt Heero�s loss sharply. That was fair. He and Duo weren�t lovers like Wufei and Fai were, so he couldn�t possibly compare their situations, but Heero was far away and if anything happened to him, there was nothing Duo could do. Just like in Boston. He keenly felt his stomach drop at that thought. How would he feel, if he knew that London was being bombed and Heero might be hurt? How would he feel if they were so far away from each other and he was safe, while the man he loved might be in danger?

Something tightened around his heart and again, he wondered where Quatre and Trowa were. He wondered what Heero was doing right now. His watch said it was almost one. That meant that it was, what, nearly seven in London? They were probably having dinner or something. Or were they still negotiating with Mizu and Heero�s grandfather? He wondered how all that was going. Could he really handle all this, as badly as he was handling it now, if Fai�s situation had been switched with Heero? He felt amazed that Wufei was even sane.

�No,� he murmured with a shake of his head, his violet eyes soft and comforting, �You love him. Of course you�re not being ridiculous.�

Wufei sighed, Duo thought, in relief.

�I just� I feel so helpless,� the Chinese boy confessed, �Even though Fai can call me, even though I can hear his voice, he�s so far away from me, and if anything were to happen� I can�t reach him. I can�t do anything.�

�Fai will be fine,� Duo said, putting his hand over Wufei�s across the table.

It was a lie, they both knew that, but Duo felt no guilt at lying to his friend. Not about this. If a lie would make him feel better, he would tell him anything he wanted to hear.

�You�d be surprised at what human beings can survive,� Duo said with a sad smile, his thoughts momentarily, unwanted, drifting to Wes, �Fai might be small, but he loves you, too. I know he�ll do anything, survive anything, to see you again. And if a war does break out, I�m sure Name and Fai will work something out to make sure he�s safe.�

�She�s done so much for us already,� Wufei murmured, �How can I expect her to do anything else? I�m not her son, not a part of her family. She has no reason to do anything for me.�

�I think� I think Name�s kindness is endless,� Duo mused, �Every time I think, no matter how much she loves me, she can�t possibly do any more than she already has, she proves me wrong. She paid for my hospital bills, took me into her home, made me part of her family. Compared to all that, getting Fai out of China seems so small. I mean, sure, getting him out isn�t really the issue, its finding him a place to live, but my point is don�t worry about it so much.�

Wufei shook his head in amusement.

�You know for someone who claims to be a realist, you sure want me to believe some fairy tale stuff,� he chuckled bitterly.

Duo shrugged.

�I don�t know. Lately, my life has sort of felt like a fairy tale,� he pointed out, then paused, �Hey, you owe me a favor now, right?�

Wufei nodded. He had joked about Duo being too optimistic about his fears, but the American�s conviction that Fai would be fine had put him at ease a little bit.

�Anything you want,� he promised.

Duo gestured over his shoulder with a jerk of his head.

�On my right, two tables down,� he said cryptically.

Wufei looked to where Duo wanted him to. It didn�t take him long to realize what he wanted him to notice. Zechs was staring right at Duo�s back, his usually icy eyes heated, then turned cold as they turned on Wufei. Wufei wasn�t intimidated by him and glared back, infuriated when the white haired boy smirked arrogantly at him.

�Is he looking at me?� Duo asked in a soft tone that made Wufei even more frustrated at Zechs.

�Yeah,� the dark haired boy admitted angrily, �Like a lion staring at a wounded, baby gazelle.�

Duo clenched his hands so hard, if his nails had been longer, he would have drawn blood. He felt a panic attack start to rise up in his chest, his heart tight and beating fast. He had known that Zechs was still there, watching him, but Wufei�s assessment of it, that Zechs wasn�t just looking at him, but stalking him, frightened him. Why was he doing this? He wasn�t even trying anything, just looking at him� like how Wes would do sometimes, and it had always drove him mad, wondering when the hit would happen, because it would happen, eventually. Why was Zechs just staring at him? Heero wasn�t here. Zechs obviously thought that that was significant. So why wasn�t he trying something?

Where were Quatre and Trowa? Something inside of him burned and the panic threatened to turn his stomach inside out. He could feel it. Something was wrong. This was all his fault. Just like in Boston, just like when Zechs had cornered Quatre before. If it weren�t for him, Zechs never would have tried to hurt Quatre. But, just like Heero, Quatre had never complained, had never blamed him for it. Zechs had tried to destroy his friendship with Heero before, and he had almost succeeded. Not only that, he had almost died because of that one act.

Was it really so melodramatic to think that? Zechs hadn�t tried to kill him, just humiliate him and make Heero think the worst of him. But, in reality, if Zechs had never dragged him out that day, if Heero had never found him like that, he never would have left school, never would have run away from Wes, just to see Heero one more time. Wes never would have chained him to that bed� and Chris never would have nearly killed him. Duo shuddered a little as he remembered sitting in Heero�s car after Heero had screamed at him and he had stormed off into the convenience store. He remembered feeling like he was dying, all sense and reason leaving him as the internal bleeding had left him dazed, coughing up blood everywhere, and all he had been able to think about was getting �home�. The only home, even in his out of mind state, he had ever known. If it hadn�t been for Zechs� stupid mind games, none of that would have happened. He supposed he could also say that, if it hadn�t been for Zechs, Name and Heero never would have found out what was really going on in his life, they never would have taken him home and given him a real, proper existence, but honestly, wouldn�t it have just been a matter of time? Name wasn�t stupid. Duo knew that, the entire time he had spent in her house as a guest, she had been suspicious of him. Sooner or later, all his instances about his �father� would have fallen flat. She would have figured things out all on her own, without all the pain and loneliness he had gone through because of Zechs and that British friend of his. And what was the point? Because Duo had told him no? Who cared? Zechs could bully any other boy in this school and get the same deal. So why go through all this trouble? And then there was attacking Quatre� Zechs knew exactly who Quatre and Heero were, so he had to have known that trying to hurt Quatre was idiotic.

Zechs was as nuts as his sister. Maybe stalking was genetic. Relena had tried to have him raped, just to prove an insane point. What if Zechs really had done something horrible to Quatre and Trowa? Wufei watched in alarm as the color in Duo�s face drained out of him. He looked terrified and Wufei wanted to smack himself for ever voicing his opinion about Zechs aloud. Duo didn�t need this right now, not with Heero in London. He was already off balance and Wufei wondered if he didn�t have a point. He was unsettled by Zechs� sudden behavior and he wasn�t even the one in danger.

Did the blue eyed boy really think that, just because Yuy wasn�t hovering over Duo like an overprotective alpha wolf that it meant that Duo was weak and vulnerable? Duo wasn�t the defenseless little boy that he projected, him attacking Wes to save his life had proven that. Duo simply believed that he was weak, because Wes had drilled that personality into him for years, but deep down inside, Duo�s real self was still alive, starving and malnourished, but clinging to life.

Wufei had seen it personally, that stubborn streak, his struggle to protect the people he loved, while every other time, he was cowering from the rest of the world, confident that, if something bad did happen, he should just let it unfold because he was too pathetic to stop it. They all knew that that wasn�t true, that Duo had it in him to be strong. And little by little, Duo was getting the confidence to believe that, too. If Zechs did try something, as much as, Wufei was sure, Duo believed he would fall into old patterns, that Zechs was just too much stronger than him, Wufei knew that Duo would defend himself this time. Besides, even if Heero wasn�t here, Duo still had people who wouldn�t let Zechs lay one single hand on him. And if the asshole didn�t realize that, Wufei was more than happy to teach him it. He put his hand over Duo�s again, rubbing his thumb over Duo�s knuckles. His skin felt so cold. Duo looked up at him, startled from his thoughts.

�It�s ok,� Wufei soothed, suddenly realizing both that Duo was having the beginning of one of his infamous panic attacks and that their roles were reversed.

Of course, he thought bitterly, something like this would happen when Heero wasn�t around to settle Duo�s anxieties and Quatre and Trowa were off necking somewhere, or whatever it was those two did when they were by themselves.

�I won�t let him hurt you, or any of us,� Wufei promised.

Duo�s expression of shock and fear started to fade. That old voice deep in his head protested, telling him not to believe his friend. No one could really protect him, especially not Wufei. He wasn�t affluent, like Quatre and Heero were, or physically intimidating like Trowa. Wufei was only a little bit taller than Quatre and himself. If Zechs tried something, what could Wufei possibly do to save him? He shouldn�t have to save him. Just because he was too pathetic to help himself� in reality, no one cold protect him. Hadn�t Wes proved that? Duo lashed out at those ancient thoughts. He wasn�t that person anymore, he wasn�t helpless or useless anymore.

Wes had tried to prove to him that he was alone in the world, but he had failed. Even then, in the dark woods, when he and Heero had felt so far apart, all of his friends had come to save him. And in the end, he had managed to pay back the favor by saving Wufei�s life. He wasn�t alone and he wasn�t a scared little kid anymore, that part of him was gone and he refused to let it get a foothold in his heart ever again. If Wufei said that he would protect him, Duo believed it. Not because it was some grand truth, but because he chose to believe in it, because he wanted it to be true. It was so much better than cowering in the dark and accepting that he was just as powerless as when he was seven years old, drugged and lying paralyzed on Wes� bed. That conviction managed to put his heart at ease and he smiled at his friend.

�Ok,� he said, �But� what about Quatre and Trowa?�

Wufei looked away from Duo and blushed slightly.

�I�m sure that they�ll turn up,� he muttered, taking a sip of the soup his mother had packed for him.

Duo raised an eyebrow at him.

�What do you know?� he accused, secretly hopeful, remembering that Trowa and Wufei shared the class before lunch together.

�Nothing at all,� Wufei muttered, �When Quatre starts blushing and giggling, Trowa starts grinning like a cat with a canary, and the two of them run off in the opposite direction together, I don�t ask many questions.�

Duo groaned and let his head fall onto his folded arms.

�Are you joking?� he whispered to himself, his words muffled.

Here he was, panicking and thinking that Zechs had done something horrible to his friends, and the two of them were� were molesting each other in some empty classroom or something! Sure, Quatre and Trowa were obviously in love and had no problem with letting the world know it, but they didn�t exactly make out in public, either. They definitely didn�t make out during school hours, either. There had to be some reason for it, or something. Duo nearly turned around and glared at Zechs in irritation, but didn�t.

�The least they could have done was tell someone,� he muttered as he lifted his head.

They finished their lunch mostly in peace and quiet, not talking about war or Zechs. Wufei offered to walk him to his locker to pick up his books for his afternoon classes, but Duo declined, not wanting to be led around like some little kid. As afraid as he was of Zechs, there really wasn�t much that the white haired boy could do in a busy corridor. He didn�t even see him as he got to his locker and collected his things. Still, when a hand fell on his shoulder, he nearly jumped and made a sharp sound as his heart raced, not quite a whimper or a scream. He whirled and met, not Zechs, but Mrs. Khushrenada. He stared at her incredulously for a second as he forced his heart to calm, unable to figure out why she was standing in this busy corridor, surrounded by students.

�Duo, what�s wrong?� Une asked, worried about how shocked he looked.

�You just� startled me,� he stammered.

Une smiled at him and it reminded Duo of the way that Name often smiled at him, maternal, kind, and comforting. At that moment, he realized that he missed Name as much as he missed Heero and the thought of going home this afternoon, and not seeing that smile as he walked through the door filled him with a deep loneliness and hesitance.

�I just wanted to tell you that Mr. Khushrenada has your report card for you. He wants to talk to you for a few minutes after classes, too,� she told him.

�He found out what happened?� Duo asked nervously.

Une nodded, then patted his shoulder.

�It wasn�t your fault,� she soothed, �You aren�t in trouble.�

Duo knew that he should feel relieved about her assurances, but he still felt a little bit pensive. It was just before one o�clock and he felt exhausted between missing Heero and worrying about Zechs. As much as going home seemed cold and empty, he suddenly wanted nothing more than to walk through that door, run up to his room, and fall into his bed. He doubted that Trowa and Quatre wanted to wait for him, either. Still, he nodded.

�I�ll see him,� he said.

�You did well, Duo,� she assured him, �We�re so proud of you.�

Duo blushed darkly and watched the teacher turn and walk down the hall, kids moving out of her way, a weird warmth building in his stomach. He never knew what to think about Mrs. Khushrenada. He had always had a mixture of respect and disdain for his teachers, especially during his first year of school. They had never really noticed him. When he had needed them, they had turned a blind eye to him. He had never had any illusions that they were ignorant to what Zechs had been doing to him, that there was something wrong, something not quite right with his home life. And yet, not a single one of them had tried to help him, or even ask him if anything was wrong. If he had ever needed any of their help, even on a school assignment, unless he had asked for their help specifically, which he never did because he had been so painfully shy and nervous, they had just ignored him.

Then, there was Mrs. Khushrenada. She had always been nice to him. When she had spoken to him, she would look him in the eye and smile, like he was any other student, like he was more than just a dirty smudge in the midst of teenagers. His first year of middle school, he had almost flunked out of his math class. At the time, his math skills had been even less than his spelling and reading skills, about that of an elementary school student. He had been able to add and subtract, plus multiply enough to calculate beer tax from picking it up for Wes, but little else. While his other classmates were calculating the value of x, Duo had been struggling to understand what all the little symbols meant and how to multiply two digit numbers.

In the end, it hadn�t been Zechs� abuse, or Wes telling him over and over and over how useless it was, he was too stupid, too useless, that school wasn�t for rats like him that had made him believe he was trash, that he really didn�t belong in school. It had been his first math assignment. He had hid away in his room as Wes and Chris had broken in a new, teenaged whore in the kitchen, listening to the familiar sounds of sex and crying, even if it hadn�t been coming from him that time, but despite how hard it was to concentrate, he had gotten through his English homework with some hard work, still having a lot of trouble with the bigger words, especially with the grammar assignments, figuring out the difference between semicolons, colons, and ellipses. To this day he still had trouble with those stupid things.

Then, he had opened his math book and had pulled out his assignment sheet. He had spent three hours looking at all those numbers and symbols, reading the assigned chapters as the sounds around him frustrated him more and more and he had, little by little, realized that he didn�t understand a single thing that was in his textbook. After three hours, it had struck him like a physical blow. He couldn�t do it. He didn�t get math. He didn�t get any of it! After three hours, he had felt as stupid and useless as Wes had always called him. He had cried, then, for a long time. At that point, after living with Wes for so long, he hadn�t really cried for years. Pain and humiliation had become common place in his life. No matter how much he hurt, he had just pushed it down into a cancerous ball in his stomach. Crying had never made him feel better and, if Wes heard him, he would only get hit for it.

Wes hadn�t heard him that night, thankfully. If he had, Duo wondered if he would have ever gone back to school. He had nearly given up entirely that night. When Wes had, reluctantly, agreed to let him go to school, it had easily been the happiest moment of his life. He could do something normal, something that all the other kids got to do. He could get away from Wes for a little while. He had never really believed that taking a few classes would give him any opportunities, but he had hoped, somewhere deep inside, that he might meet someone his age, might gain a friend or two. Then, he had met Zechs and had realized how utterly stupid that wish had been. Even if he hadn�t been bullied, why would anyone want to be friends with him? How could someone like him ever have a friend, when he was supposed to be hiding his real identity?

But that had been different. He had wanted to go to school to prove to himself that he wasn�t trash. He had wanted to learn, to try to fool himself, just for a few hours, that he could be like anyone else. But that stupid math homework had brought him down to reality. The next morning, he had been more depressed than he had been in a long time. Being hit and raped every day was one thing, realizing his own self-worthlessness had seemed so much more devastating, so much crueler. He couldn�t remember why he had gone back to school that day, if there had been a tiny string of hope in him, or if it was just a ritual thing. When his math teacher had gone around to collect the homework, Duo couldn�t recall what had been more embarrassing, having only a blank assignment sheet to give his teacher, or when the teacher just walked by him, seeing that he hadn�t completed his work, without even a disappointed glance, as though he hadn�t expected anything from Duo, or perhaps he just hadn�t cared.

After that shameful moment, Duo had resolved that he wouldn�t go back to school. He clearly was too stupid to learn anything, so what was the point? Maybe he could hang out at the library during school hours, so Wes would still think that he was going. He had never asked what Duo did at school, he even seemed to be disgusted by the mere mention of Duo�s classes, so he clearly didn�t care. At least at the library he could learn some more words and not feel like an idiot. Even now, Duo had no idea how Une had heard about his troubles in math, being his science teacher, but there she had been standing at his table at lunch and offering to tutor him.

Duo didn�t think he would ever forget that. He had given up on all of his teachers, yet she had given up all her lunch hours, just to teach him math. He had looked over at her at times during those sessions and had realized that she wasn�t like his other teachers at all. She hadn�t asked any questions about him, either, but he had seen in her eyes that she had wanted to and, back then, that had been enough for him. He wondered what his life would be like right now if she hadn�t helped him out back then. Looking back at the first week of school, and thinking of what his school life was like now, the work he had put in and how far he had come was strange.

Duo shook himself from his reminiscing, shoved his books into his bag, and rushed off to his next class. Not that he really needed his books, but it was that feeling of ritual and knowing that if he didn�t do it, there would be that weird prickling in the back of his head, that he was forgetting something, even if he knew logically that he wasn�t. Nothing happened at all during his afternoon classes, just him and his classmates watching some stupid movies that were blandly popular among teenagers while still managing to be appropriate to show in a classroom. Duo spent his time reading a novel he had snuck from Heero�s room that morning and feeling relief that he didn�t have Zechs in any more of his classes except for gym.

When he got there, he forgot all about the silver haired bully as he saw Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all together, talking and laughing. Almost like it was supposed to be, only there was one person missing. Seeing Quatre and Trowa, clearly fine, Duo almost hugged them. Instead, he calmly walked over to the small group and Trowa grinned when he saw him. The tall Italian just looked so� cheeky. Cheeky and amused. Wufei seemed oblivious to his expression, but even from where Duo was, he could tell that Quatre was blushing lightly.

He remembered what Wufei had said at lunch, about what Quatre and Trowa had probably been doing in their absence, and blushed himself. Trowa�s smirk widened, completely unconcerned that Duo had figured out why he was so happy. Duo nearly chided him for acting like some clichéd, hormonal teenager, having sex, or nearly that, in school of all places, but realized that if he did bring it up, he was only going to feel embarrassed and Trowa was going to be the one to tease the hell out of him. How was it that he had spent so many years as a prostitute, but the thought of two of his friends having sex made him blush like a virgin? And, really, Trowa and Quatre were hormonal teenagers. He couldn�t blame them for sneaking away for some �privacy�. How many times had they done something like this, and this was just the first time he had realized it?

�Just another hour, and we�ll have the whole house to ourselves,� Trowa said with a wide smirk, �Any plans?�

�Actually, about that,� Duo said, �Mr. Khushrenada wanted to see me after school.�

�About your grades?� Quatre asked hopefully.

Duo nodded.

�Mrs. Khushrenada said that he resolved everything,� he couldn�t stop the happiness from seeping into his words.

�Oh, Duo, that�s great news!� Quatre beamed at him, then his smile vanished as he thought of something, glancing worryingly at his lover, �Oh, but that means��

Trowa shook his head.

�It�s fine,� he said.

�What�s wrong?� Wufei pried.

�Well, Quatre and I had planned to go out as soon as we got out of school. We made reservations for an early dinner at this nice restaurant and we were going to go together once you were home.� Trowa admitted with a shrug, �We were just about to ask Wufei if he would like to hang out with you, since you really shouldn�t be alone. But we can always reschedule and wait for you to finish with Mr. Khushrenada.�

Duo�s fear almost overcame him in that moment, his fear of being away from his friends, of being alone where Wes could get him. He almost agreed with Trowa, nearly begged for them to wait for Heero and Name to come home. Then, he noticed Quatre�s crestfallen look. He realized that this wasn�t just about a night out, it was something else. Trowa and Quatre wouldn�t have decided to go out now that Wes had threatened them, and certainly not when Name and Heero were gone. They must have been planning this for a very long time, or it was something very special.

�What�s the occasion?� he asked softly.

�It�s our anniversary,� Quatre admitted, smiling sweetly at Trowa.

�It�s been three years since our very first date,� Trowa said with a soft expression, covertly taking Quatre�s pale hand in his, �We went out at some skeezy pizza joint, because Quatre didn�t want his father or sisters to recognize him, and it was all I could afford at the time, but it was perfect.�

�C-congratulations,� Duo said, his eyes wide a bit, having not realized that the two had been together for so long.

�It really isn�t a big deal,� Quatre insisted, �We can easily go out when Name and Heero come back home. It won�t cost anything to cancel our reservations. Besides� it isn�t like we�re married or anything.�

Duo heard how false that statement was. Even if Quatre and Trowa weren�t married, their relationship was very serious and important to them. And three years seemed like a big deal to him. Guilt tore at him. Because of him, Quatre and Trowa were going to have to skip out on their anniversary. Because of him, all of his friends were worried sick about him, they were doing things outside of their natures to keep him safe, to shoulder some of his stress. It wasn�t fair to any of them. It wasn�t even entirely because he was in danger. It was because he was terrified. He couldn�t leave the house without that fear looming over him, constantly wondering where Wes was, if he was watching, when the bastard was going to interfere with his life again� he was holding it back, refusing to let it overwhelm him because of the promise he had made to himself, that he wouldn�t let Wes make him cower in the dark like a little child, that he wouldn�t let him control him anymore.

But wasn�t he already doing that? Feeling relieved that his friends were taking him to and from school, when they should be going on with their own lives. He was living in fear again. Wes was winning. And leaning on his friends wasn�t really giving him any comfort. It just made him feel pathetic, like he had in Boston, leaning on Heero�s strength and wishing he was that strong, that Heero could depend on him, could be proud of him. What had changed since then? He had stood up to Wes for only a second, then had run away again, letting the people he loved take care of him, when it should have been the other way around. How could he ever hope to make Heero be proud of him when, the second he was gone, everyone was jumping through hoops, taking care of him like he was a little kid, or he was made of glass?

�No,� Duo said vehemently, with a shake of his head, �You two go to dinner. I can take care of myself.�

�Duo, you know we can�t do that-,� Quatre started to protest.

�There�s no reason why you should sacrifice your anniversary because of me!� Duo snapped at him.

�It isn�t like that,� Trowa said, �You�re our friend, and you need us. It�s our decision to protect you. I promised you that I would, and I promised Name. If anything were to happen to you while Quatre and I were on a date��

�It won�t,� Duo interrupted.

�How can you say that?� Quatre asked in a harsh whisper, �After everything that� that man has done! He tried to kill Wufei, tried to kidnap you� this is exactly the opportunity that he wants! You, all alone and vulnerable! Look, how long can Mr. Khushrenada possibly keep you for? Ten minutes? Twenty? And it takes a little over ten minutes, twenty with after school traffic to get back home. That�s not so bad. We can just reschedule.�

�That isn�t what this is about,� Duo said softly, �You shouldn�t have to. I�m sick of rearranging my life, and my friends�, because of the demons of my past,� he flashed them a fake smile, �Besides, it isn�t that big of a deal. I�ve walked from school before, it isn�t that long of a walk.�

�Duo, this is stupid,� Wufei finally entered the argument, �You�re putting your life on the line for your pride! Are you really willing to risk Wes getting his hands on you as you walk back to the house all by yourself? At least let me walk you!�

Duo thought about what would happen if Wes got his hands on him, about going back to that life. The coldness, the isolation, never mind the pain and humiliation. What would happen to him if Heero and Name couldn�t find him� A shiver went down his spine. Then, he looked at Wufei, his violet eyes incredibly intense, in a way that Wufei couldn�t recall having ever seen before.

�I want to do this,� Duo said, his voice dwindling into a bitter murmur, �I�m sick of being terrified of him. If Wes wants me so badly, why would all of you deter him? If anything, you�re just putting yourselves in danger. And I�m not really planning on walking home all by myself. You�re right, that would be dangerous, unless the streets are crowded or there are cops around. But there�s a bus stop a block away from the school, and it goes down our street. There�s no way Wes is going to try anything on a public bus.�

Trowa regarded the short American with clinical, but soft green eyes. He knew, like they all did, that Duo was having trouble coping with Wes� assault on all of them. It had been months since then, and he seemed so much better than he had been, too scared to leave the house and so paranoid, he could barely sleep. Quatre and Wufei seemed to think that Heero had helped him through it. Since Heero had taken him for that little trip they had gone on, the both of them had seemed to have reached some kind of resolution for what had gone on in Boston. They refused to talk about it, and Trowa didn�t push them, realizing that it had been a very personal thing between the two of them, but when they had gotten back, everything had seemed like it had before. No, it was as though they were even closer than before. And Duo had stopped hiding away in his room.

He might have convinced Quatre and Wufei that he wasn�t as scared as he had been before, but Trowa wasn�t a fool. He understood that deep rooted fear like that, born during childhood, didn�t just vanish in one day. He wasn�t blind to what that fear was doing to Duo, either. It had started in Boston and had created the rift between Duo and Heero, not the fear that Wes was going to come and take Duo away from this life, it was the fear that Duo, himself, would fall back into that old life. Trowa didn�t think that Duo was necessarily afraid of becoming a whore again. The others didn�t understand it, but he did. Sometimes, old habits, even if they were terrible habits, were hard to get rid of.

Trowa remembered his uncle, how much he hated him for what he had done to him. He had always thought that he would jump at the chance to get rid of him, but that he was just too weak to do anything about it, which made it all his fault. Then, his uncle had gone to jail and there had been this strange fear in him, the fear of a life without him. Not because it had been a better life, but because he had grown used to it. He had survived. But a new life, without the abuse, he had no idea if he could survive that. When he realized his own fear, he had felt pathetic. He had hated himself.

Trowa was sure that Duo�s biggest fear wasn�t of those old habits, though he was afraid of that, it was just being afraid. Trowa remembered taking care of Duo in that dilapidated hotel room, he remembered how concerned Duo had been for Heero instead of himself. The one driving force Duo had had ever since Trowa had met him was Heero, specifically, Heero�s opinion of him. Having Heero see him driven back to old shadows by Chris in Boston, and cowering in fear in their own home by Wes had been humiliating for Duo, something that even Trowa could understand was the driving force behind this recent idea of his.

Of course Duo realized how stupid this plan was, of course he was afraid. But in the face of his own feelings of inadequacy, and his fears of failing Heero, the same fear that had nearly torn him apart after Boston, did any of that really matter to him right now? Wufei was right. For Duo, this was a matter of pride, of not letting Wes control him, of proving to himself that he wasn�t as pathetic as he felt. Trowa, personally, felt torn. He loved Duo like a little brother and wanted, more than anything, to protect him from Wes, from the whole world if he had to. Hell, he had promised Duo that he would do whatever he had to to protect him.

But Duo was also his friend and Trowa understood that protecting him from his personal, self demons was just as important as protecting him from his real life ones. Duo didn�t need to prove to any of them that he was a survivor, that he was strong. But he did seem to need to prove it to himself. As reckless as this idea was, could he, any of them, really deny Duo a chance to boost his self-esteem, to feel good about himself for once? Trowa tried to analyze the situation logically, he told himself that Duo was right, there wasn�t a high chance that Wes could kidnap him, but the part of him that had watched Duo grow, that had held him when he cried, and felt deeply attached to the younger boy made it impossible for him to see anything clinically. No matter the amount of danger, that part of him still screamed to protect him. Dammit, but he was becoming as overprotective as Heero was. How could he possibly expect Duo to let go of that consuming fear if he couldn�t do it, either?

�Duo, we aren�t talking about Zechs here,� Wufei argued, �This is Wes. He isn�t sane. He barely qualifies as human, as far as I�m concerned! Not a single thing he has done has been predictable! His associate tracked you to Boston, Wes himself ambushed you at your job! He isn�t just planning on� on beating you up because you said no to him like Zechs and send you on your way! If he takes you, who knows where he�s going to take you, if we�ll be able to save you. He isn�t an idiot, even if you tell us where the apartment is, I hardly think he�s going to take you back there, where we might find you. We don�t even really know what he�s going to do to you! I know he said that he wants you back, but for all we know, if you don�t agree to go with him, he might kill you!�

�Wufei�s right,� Quatre said stiffly, �This is irresponsible and reckless! You can�t possibly ask us to let you risk your life-,�

�Quit it, both of you,� Trowa ordered, giving his boyfriend a warning look before nodding to Duo, �This isn�t our decision, it�s Duo�s. I know that you know how dangerous this is. And I assume that you�ve thought it through?�

Duo nodded, slightly hesitant as he felt fear make his heart beat rapidly. He fought against the little voice in his head that echoed everything Wufei and Quatre had been saying, that this was suicidal, that it wasn�t worth it, just because he was feeling like a terrified child. Trowa put a hand on his shoulder.

�And are you sure you don�t want to wait until Heero and Name come back,� he asked, trying to be the voice of reason without nagging the longhaired boy to death, �If something happens, don�t you want Name to be here at least?�

Duo shook his head.

�Do you think either of them would let me do this?� he shot back.

Trowa chuckled at that. There was no way in hell either Yuy would let Duo do anything alone until they knew he was safe. Even if it was a case of Duo�s self-esteem, they would refuse outright.

�Look, you guys keep telling me to hold on, that I just have to be brave and let all of you protect me until Wes and Chris are caught. But there is no reason for me to believe that they will be caught,� Duo pointed out, �You don�t know Wes like I do. He�s had people after him before, people that, unlike Name, are willing to fight dirty to get at him, but he�s never been caught. He doesn�t even have an arrest record! He�s smart and manipulative. For as long as I�ve known him, he�s always been five steps ahead of everyone else, he�s always find a way to get out of trouble without a scratch. What if he never is caught? Have you ever thought about that? And even if he does go to jail, he has deep connections, ones that make him staying there unlikely. Even if you�re willing to guard me for the rest of my life, I can�t accept that! At some point, I have to figure this out on my own. I can�t let this� this terror rule my life forever. I refuse to let Wes have control over me, over all of us, like this!�

Trowa saw Quatre go pale and Wufei look frustrated at a glance from the possibility, one that they had obviously never considered, that Wes might never be caught. That Duo would never get justice. That he would never be safe. That he would have to live his entire life always looking over his shoulder. Quatre and Wufei were both strict optimists. Quatre always believed the best in people, that sooner or later, things would turn out ok, and Wufei put a bit too much faith in justice, that bad people got punished and good people got rewarded. This wasn�t something that Trowa, or even Heero, hadn�t considered, but it also wasn�t something that they were worried about. They were well prepared to protect Duo forever, if they had to. But Duo was right. Sometimes, it was the principle of the thing.

�Ok, then,� Trowa said with a nod, �Quatre and I will go on our date, Wufei go home, and you will take the bus. Got your cell phone?�

�Of course,� Duo said.

Trowa gestured to Duo�s gym pants.

�Let�s see it,� he demanded.

Duo sighed heavily and took his cell phone out of his pocket, showing it to Trowa with an overly dramatic flair. They weren�t supposed to have cell phones on them during gym, but his paranoia about Wes hadn�t ebbed very much. There were some risks he was willing to take and some he wasn�t. He was stupid enough to go home alone, but not quite stupid enough to go anywhere without the cell phone that had saved his and Heero�s lives. It wasn�t something he was ever going to admit to anyone, even under threat of torture, but after Wes had attacked him at work, he had started sleeping with both his cell phone and the tazer under his pillow. He didn�t think that Wes was going to break into the house or anything, it was just that having either item more than an arm�s length away from him nowadays gave him an anxiety-causing stomachache.

�And the tazer?� Trowa nagged.

Duo gave him an annoyed little glare, but took the tazer out of the other pocket.

�Happy?� he asked dryly.

�Very,� Trowa smirked.

The four of them stopped talking as Ms. Schbeiker finally came into the gymnasium pushing the cart of balls, which their classmates swarmed over, fighting over who would get claim on the basketball court and whining that the dodge balls were too flat to get any proper bounce out of them. The four of them followed another group of kids outside and found a spot on the grass to lay down. None of them were really in the mood for sports or running around. It was nice, after the day Duo had just had, to lie down with his friends, not talking, but just enjoying each other�s company. It was too hot or humid out, and there was a nice breeze. He didn�t know where Zechs was and, at the moment, he didn�t particularly care.

The warm grass felt good on his bare arms and Duo kept his braid curled up on his chest, so no stray ants decide to crawl on it. He didn�t hate them like he hated spiders, but finding the little buggers in your long hair was just annoying. The sky above them was a light, powdered blue. There were a ton of clouds, but they were all white and fluffy, unthreatening. Duo listened as Quatre and Trowa tried to decide what each cloud looked like, a game that Wufei didn�t really see the point in, but found amusing anyway. Duo remembered playing that game with Sunshine. The memory brought about a great pain in his chest, the same pain he always felt when he remembered the little boy. It had been the first game he had ever played as a child.

He hated remembering that time of his life. It made the happiness he felt now hurt somehow, the contrast both terrible and wonderful. It was like taking a cold bath when you had a bad fever. The cold felt good, but it made your skin hurt. Sometimes he wondered if he had lived with pain too long, and that happiness was just too alien of a concept to him for him to accept it with anything but pain. Then again, the pain felt good, especially when he looked back on his memories. He recalled a time, back when he had first met Solo, when he had wanted to play that stupid cloud game with him. Only, he had been older then and a game like that had seemed pointless. Besides, every time he had found the time to see Solo, the sun had set and you couldn�t see the clouds anymore.

As Quatre argued with his boyfriend about how the oval shaped cloud was clearly more like a bunny than a donkey, Duo could hear the strain in his tone. Even now, the little blonde was probably thinking of all the things that could wrong this evening with Duo on his own and Duo did feel guilty about that, but he refused to change his mind. He had to do this. It had to be today, too. He knew that he couldn�t hope to do anything reckless when Heero and Name came back. Maybe he had only thought to do this because of Trowa and Quatre�s anniversary, but he was glad he had thought of it.

Was he terrified of going home on his own? Of course he was. The mere thought of it made his heart tremble and his stomach churn, the fear creeping up his spine, the same fear he had felt that night, realizing that the person who had dragged him through the woods was Wes, and not some random stalker, or even Chris. But he had a greater fear, not of some man that had control over his life, but of himself. Of not being good enough for Heero, of letting Name down. Of looking in the mirror and hating himself again, so much that it made him sick in his heart.

Because, in the morning when he first woke up, he would stare up at the ceiling sometimes, trying to remember where he was, whose bed he was in, because it wasn�t the ceiling in his apartment. When he had first moved in with the Yuy�s, those moments had lasted up to ten minutes. Now, he had gotten it down to ten seconds. He hoped that, in another few months, he might get that number to zero, that he might wake up and not think about where he was at all. That he might try to think about his room in the apartment and not be able to remember what color the ceiling was, or what the Chinese restaurant next door had smelled like. For now, ten seconds was an improvement.

And little by little, those moments when he thought of himself as a part of Heero�s family, instead of a stranger or an intruder had grown and grown and grown. But, there were still those moments in the morning where he wondered, for brief seconds, if his life with the Yuy�s was all a dream, and what he thought were dreams and nightmares were really the waking world. Those moments reminded him that the separation between his old life and his new one was just a thin veil, created by a single moment in time, when Heero had found him and dragged him into his car.

He just didn�t think about that as much anymore, and those times when he questioned reality because he thought he didn�t deserve the happiness he felt was fleeting, like déjà vu. If he had to put a logic to why he was going home alone today, it was to prove to himself that he did deserve this happiness, that he was as brave and strong as his friends were. If he could just prove that to himself, and to Heero, maybe he could continue to grow into the person that he had always wished he could see when he looked into the mirror. They didn�t talk about any of that, just looked up at the sky and talked about stupid things every once in awhile. By the time they got dressed back in their regular clothes and stood in front of the principal�s office, Quatre was practically vibrating with nervous energy.

�You have your tazer?� he asked, echoing Trowa�s earlier question.

This time, Duo didn�t groan with frustration, he just nodded patiently.

�Are you sure that you don�t want Wufei to go home with you and hang out?� Quatre continued nervously, �I mean, what will you do all by yourself for all those hours?�

�Probably watch bad horror movies, blast rock music, and eat way too much popcorn,� Duo shrugged as Trowa smirked in amusement, �Or something senseless like that.�

Quatre looked like he wanted to argue again, but Trowa stopped him.

�C�mon, Quatre, Duo�s a big boy,� he tugged on his blonde lover�s sleeve.

�Have a great anniversary,� Duo said even as his heart raced again, realizing that they were leaving him now, and gave the both of them hugs, �Don�t worry about me. There�s enough at home to make myself a nice dinner and I�ll call you if there�s any trouble. Just have a nice time.�

�You, too,� Trowa ruffled Duo�s hair a little, �We�ll see you later tonight, then. Be careful, ok? Don�t you dare turn your phone off for any reason, even when you get home.�

Duo nodded. Trowa somehow managed to drag Quatre away with Wufei trailing after them. He waved to them briefly, then entered the principal�s office. As he did, for the first all day he realized that he was finally getting his grades. Between Heero being gone and Zechs acting weird, he hadn�t given it as much thought as he had before. Now, compared to what he was about to do, it didn�t seem as important as it had. He knew that he wasn�t flunking out and he knew he had done well, he trusted Mr. and Mrs. Khushrenada that much at least, and he still did care about knowing what had happened and his exact grades, but his fear of walking outside the doors of the school without his friends flanking him on all sides had dulled his anxiety about grades.

The almost ginger haired principal was waiting for him in his office and greeted him with a bright smile. He eagerly handed the envelope holding Duo�s report card to him. Duo just clutched it for a moment, partially dreading and partially anticipating what it would say.

�I just want to apologize again for all this, Duo,� Treize apologized.

Duo shook his head.

�I know it wasn�t your fault. But, what happened exactly?� he asked as he finally opened the envelope.

He stared at the contents for a second, his heart beating a little bit faster. He scanned up and down the class listings a few times, just to verify that he wasn�t having double vision. All A�s� true, a few of them were A-�s, like History and Algebra, but he had been expecting them, as they were his worst subjects. He didn�t care at all about the minuses, it seemed kind of petty to think that an A minus was a bad thing at all. Name was going to be so happy� his heart warmed. He was back on the honor roll. Sure, he would never get any kind of award or recognition for it, because of last semester, but it was still a lovely thought. He suddenly felt like flipping Wes his middle finger, if only in his mind. See, he wanted to scream, I�m not so useless after all! I�m not trash!

�The final grade Mr. Williams submitted for you didn�t match with your test results,� Treize informed him, �He tried to give you a C minus, enough to knock you off the honor roll, but not enough to raise much suspicion, if you were any other student. However, I know how hard you have been working to bring your grades up, and how Mr. Williams� feels about you.�

Duo shook his head in astonishment. He couldn�t believe this. His friends had been right. He had known they had been right, because it was the only possibility that had made sense. But still, he had fought against it because he hadn�t wanted to believe that one of his teachers could be that petty. He was well aware that Williams had some kind of� personal affront against him for reasons that Duo was incapable of understanding. He was incapable of understanding what made people like that, why there were men in the world who were so ignorant, so cold and so� tiny when there were also people like Heero who were capable of so much more, of being so kind.

Didn�t Williams realize that he was going to be caught? Between Name and his friends, let alone Treize, someone would have figured out what had happened, even if Duo had enough doubt in him not to question his own grades. And for what? Just to get one on him? Because, really, a C minus wasn�t awful. He wouldn�t have been on the honor roll, but he wouldn�t have dropped out of school because of it. What did giving him a bad grade accomplish at all? Did it make the man feel good about himself, changing any student�s grade who he didn�t like? It was just like Wes and Chris, killing and hurting anyone that pissed them off. People who got off on power, but never did anything truly important with it, unlike people like Name.

�So�� Duo murmured, �What�s going to happen to him?�

�I fired him this morning,� Treize said with a self-satisfied smirk.

Here was a man that loved power, too, Duo thought even as his violet eyes widened in shock. He didn�t like having the power to control or hurt people like Wes did, or help people like Name, he liked having this power to bring about justice. In a way, the principal was a lot like Wufei. He wasn�t swayed by money, reputations, or even biases, but by his own ideas of right and wrong. It was because of that morality that he had tried so hard to get Duo back into school, not because it had benefited him in any way, but because he knew that that was what was right. Being able to manipulate things around him so justice was served gave Treize the same thrill that it gave Williams to screw with him.

�After I heard what he had said about you, I warned him that I wouldn�t tolerate any stupidity from him, that if he made any trouble for you, I would get rid of him,� Treize reminded him, �I should have done it the second he raised his voice to you. For that, I�m sorry. But this� changing any student�s grades for any reason, let alone to suit his own pettiness, he stepped way over the line, especially for a teacher. This school might not be some private, ivy league institution, but I expect the teachers in this school to treat their students like it is one.�

Duo folded up his report card and gently stuck it back in its envelope. He felt speechless for a second. He hadn�t met very many people in his life, especially adults and people with some sort of authority, that had kept promises they had made to him, or about him. Any promise that hadn�t originally been delivered as a threat, anyway. Treize, like his wife, had always been supportive of him. The principal at the middle school had also given him a warning about absences, but Duo had been able to tell that the man had just been doing it because it was his job to, and the entire time, it had been like the man had been annoyed with him wasting his time. With Treize, it had always been different. When Treize talked to him about his absences, or a declining grade, it had been with concern, not scorn. Treize had always seemed to believe that he could do better, be better. Before meeting Heero, Duo had only ever felt guilty about lying about his home life to Une and Treize, because they had been the first adults outside of Helen that had cared about him at all. It made him wonder how things might have turned out if it had been Treize that Duo had confided in and not Name.

Thinking about his guilt about not telling Treize about what was going on back then, Duo felt a completely different guilt, this time towards Williams. The man had obviously been a teacher for a long time here and because of Duo, he had lost his job during a period when the unemployment rate was bigger, and longer, than it had ever been since the Great Depression�
　

�You�re partially to blame, surely you know that? � No one would ignore a little kid screaming for help, but I bet you never did� Are you just crying rape now because you played hooky too much?�

Duo forcefully shoved that feeling of guilt away from him as anger replaced it. He hated this part of himself, feeling guilty about things that he had no control over. Just like in Boston. It had taken him months to finally accept Heero�s version of things, to understand that he had been right. At the time, there had been nothing he could have done, chained down and drugged. And here he was doing it again, blaming himself for some stupid reason, a nasty bi-product of his turbulent childhood, blaming himself for being abandoned, for being hungry and cold, for being raped�

Why should he feel guilty about Williams losing his job anyway? The man had been nothing but cruel to him since the first time they had met! Cruel and ignorant, nothing more than a pompous jackass. He hadn�t asked him to change his grades, or to be an ass to him. He had worked hard for that grade, and as far as Duo was concerned, Williams had done this to himself, being incapable of letting go of some stupid grudge.

�I don�t blame you,� Duo assured him, �I know you were hoping that he would knock it off if you threatened him, but some people can�t look beyond their prejudices. Thank you for trying to fix things, and for everything you�ve done for me this year.�

Duo reached out his hand for Treize to shake, shocked for a minute by just how much bigger the man�s hand was compared to his, but his grip was gentle and warm.

�I�m just doing my job, Duo,� Treize said, �There really isn�t much of a point to me if I can�t help one student. Have a good summer, ok? You and Yuy.�

Duo nodded, smiling brightly. As soon as Heero came back home, where he belonged, he intended to.
　

　

　

End Part 5
Sorry about how long this took. Originally, I wanted to end at a very specific point, but then this part got to be nearly fifty pages long, so I�m cutting it off here. Good news, I�m over ten pages into the next part.

　

　

　
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The Road to Kindness