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Equus	By : Deb Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2855 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, it belongs to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. I do own the equines though, please do not take them without permission. Written for pleasure not profit.

Chapter List
- 38
- 39
- 40
“Equus”
Chapter 39

Reaching the surgery stables, Duo pushed the sliding door back enough for him to squeeze through and headed for the dispensary. He flipped the lights on and pulling his key from his pocket, unlocked the door. Stepping inside, he turned the light on and aimed for the drawers to the left. He caught something from the corner of his eye but chose to ignore it for the moment. He rummaged through a couple and found the tube of antibiotic cream he was looking for.
Placing the tube in his pocket, he went to exit when the item he'd seen from the corner of his eye caught his full attention. It was the original tube of cream he'd gotten out for Nataku when he'd been attacked by Stefan.
Duo swallowed hard – his eyes, despite his best attempts to stop them – roamed over the small room and he froze. The current plane shifted away and Duo was lost to the visions his mind seemed determined to show him.
He saw the bandage lying in a heap just under the edge of the cupboard. The tube of cream lay open and partially used on the bench top. Spots and smears of blood could be detected on the floor. Duo's mind crumpled in on him as he saw himself bent over, Stefan thrusting inside his body. He could hear the grunts coming from the other man, hear his own scream of anguish and smell the sweat and fear in the air.
Duo began to back away from the pictures. “No, no, no, no,” he whispered and shook his head. The vision continued to assault his eyes, Stefan holding onto his braid, pulling his head back as he slammed his hips hard against his own.
The bench top pushed bruisingly into Duo's back, the vet unable to move any further away from the sight only he could see.
“You want it, don't you,” he heard Stefan's voice say.
“No!”
“You always wanted me, you want my cock up your ass, fucking you properly. You want to feel what it's like to be with a real man. Now you can have all that and more.” Stefan's tongue licked along the shell of his ear.
“You bastard,” Duo heard himself spit out.
“Look how much you're enjoying it.” Stefan's hand reached underneath to caress Duo's hard cock. “Such sweet tasting come,” he continued as he licked Duo's essence off his fingers.
“No! I don't want this,” Duo cried out.
“Yes, you do. You've been coming on to me ever since I moved my horse here. You want it, you’re nothing more than a whore, a slut that likes my cock up your ass.”
“I don't, I never.” Duo began to whimper and babble, his hand came over the top of his head, body slumped and began to slide down the cupboards until he found the floor where he curled up into a ball and continued to whimper and protest.
* * *
Having waited long enough, Heero decided to go and look for his lover. He felt uneasy in his gut; something wasn't quite right.
As she had done for Duo, the moon's glow lit the way for Heero to navigate from his stables to those of the surgery. Drawing closer he could see the stable lights on and that gave him a little reassurance. Stepping inside he glanced around. Everything was where it should be. The dispensary door stood partially open so Heero headed for it, knowing that was where his partner would be. Stepping over the threshold he was for the second time that day frozen by what he saw.
Duo was curled up into a ball on the floor with his back jammed against the cupboards. He was rocking back and forth, mumbling coming from his mouth. Aside from his lover's state, Heero also noted the blood still on the floor, the bandage from earlier and mentally bashed himself for being such an insensitive idiot. He should have known that coming back here, into this room would spark horrible memories for Duo, especially as the place hadn't been cleaned up yet from earlier.
Instantly Heero was across the room and crouching beside his lover. He could hear the softly spoken words and flinched inside as his heart felt like it was being shredded.
“I don't, I didn't, leave me alone, please, stop...”
“Duo, Duo it's okay, it's me, Heero,” Heero cajoled in a soft, calm voice. Inside he was a mess. He carefully placed a hand on Duo's head and stroked softly.
“Not a whore, I didn't, I don't, I never,” Duo continued to ramble, still rocking and obviously lost in his own mind of horrors.
Heero tried again. “Duo, it's Heero. Nothing is going to hurt you, not now. I'm here, I'll look after you. None of this is your fault. Duo? Come back to me, Duo,” Heero pleaded. He wasn't sure if trying to hold his partner would be a good idea or not so he let his hand drift down from stroking across Duo's hair to reach his neck and gently work his way to the vet's shoulder.
Dimly, Duo became aware of someone touching him, a soft voice that was familiar calling to him and he did his best to drag himself up from the depths of his mind. The touch remained gentle but Duo couldn't help the flinch. “Don't touch me,” he snarled. Immediately the fingers left.
Startled by his lover's snarl, Heero removed his hand and cleared his throat. “Duo, it's me, Heero.”
“Heero?” Duo's eyes began to focus slowly as he surfaced from the nightmare.
“I'm here, Duo. I won't let anything happen to you.”
Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it from the horrible memories, Duo blinked and pulled himself together.
“Are you alright?”
“I – I think so,” Duo managed to get out as he returned to the current reality. I'll never be the same again, his mind told him.
“I was worried when you didn't come back after a few minutes. Duo, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let you come back here by yourself.” Tentatively, Heero reached forward again to place his hand on Duo's arm. Whilst Duo didn't flinch, he didn't seem all that comfortable with the touch either.
“I'm okay, Heero. I'll be okay. I guess it's going to take some time for me to come to terms with all of this,” Duo whispered and went to stand up.
Heero pushed away to allow his partner to stand and raised himself from his crouch. Although he wasn't convinced by Duo's words or the vet's pale appearance, he let it slide and made a mental note to call the psychologist first thing in the morning.
“I need to get back and treat Nataku.”
“I can do it. You really should be resting, Duo.”
“Are you the vet?” Duo snapped. When Heero shook his head, Duo continued. “No, you're not, but I am. I will treat this horse, Heero. It's my duty to do so.” Grabbing the tube of cream he'd originally come in for out of his pocket, Duo stormed out of the dispensary.
Heero blinked a couple of times, eyes tracking his lover's retreat. What the hell was that? he thought. Realizing that Duo had left, Heero scrambled to catch up, slamming the dispensary door shut behind him, turning off the lights and heading back out of the stable doors.
With long strides and not caring if Heero was following or not, Duo stormed out of the surgery stables and back along the raceway, hell bent on getting back to his patient and treating her. He knew he was out of line with his words, Heero hadn't deserved to have his head bitten off, but Duo couldn't help it either. He didn't want to be treated with kid gloves, he simply wanted to be left alone, to try and put the pieces of his life back together and forget this whole nightmare ever happened.
Stepping back into the stables, Duo approached Nataku's stable, picking up the lead rope Heero had left by the door and catching the mare. He was about to tie her up when Heero arrived. “I'll hold her,” Heero said in a short, but calm tone.
Handing over the lead rope, Duo uncapped the antibiotic cream and squeezed the tube. The ointment was spread over those lacerations that Duo deemed needed it. It took him about ten minutes to apply the cream and once done he stepped back and reached into his pocket to pull out a couple of sachets. “This is bute powder, she needs one in her feed at breakfast and one in the evening feed. It's to help bring down the swelling and inflammation in that fetlock joint.” Not waiting for Heero to reply, Duo spun on his heel and exited the stables. “I'm all finished with her for tonight,” he said flatly as he left.
Sad blue eyes watched as Duo walked away and once the vet was out of his sight, Heero turned to the mare and rubbed her gently between the eyes. “What am I going to do, Nataku?” he whispered.
Nataku nudged him gently, asking for a carrot which Heero produced.
A sigh escaped Heero's lips as he unclipped the lead rope and stepped out of the stable, securing the door behind him. Checking the other stable doors were all bolted, Heero switched off the lights and pulled the large door closed. With the moon aiding his sight, he navigated his way back to the cottage and his emotionally charged lover.
*
Duo stormed back into the cottage, part of him was angry at Heero for his overprotective ways, but in reality he was more angry at himself for the way he'd spoken to and treated his lover. Deciding that probably the best thing for now was to simply go to bed and try to forget the whole day had happened, Duo headed for the bedroom.
Stepping back inside the cottage, Heero carefully looked around and listened for Duo. He had no idea how he should treat his lover right now. He knew Duo was hurting and he wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms and hold him close, but Duo didn't seem to want that. Feeling completely helpless, Heero thought he'd better make his call to Wufei and then try to get some sleep. It would be a long and trying day ahead for them both on the 'morrow.
Wufei picked up after a couple of rings and Heero thanked him again for all his help with Duo and the horses. They exchanged words for a short while, Wufei asking about Duo's state of health and Heero doing his best not to give away too much of the torment his lover was going through.
Once Wufei was satisfied that Duo was as well as could be expected under the circumstances, he asked after Nataku. With Duo not in the immediate vicinity, Heero answered as best he could, informing Wufei of what Duo had done for the mare and the treatment he was to continue with for the next couple of days. He did promise to get Duo to let Wufei know exactly what the mare's injuries were and the treatment he'd carried out so far.
After assuring the Chinese man that he would be fine to attend to the horses himself the following morning, but accepting the offered assistance for the evening, Heero hung up.
Placing the receiver back in the cradle, Heero paused and listened to the silence of the cottage. The place felt empty and cold without Duo's laughter or warm voice. It was as if the heart of the cottage had been ripped out of it and all that remained was this empty shell.
Smokey lay curled up on the sofa, Heero dropping a hand to pet her head as he prepared to turn off the lights and lock up the cottage for the night. Smokey blinked lazily at him and gave a soft meow before snuggling herself back down again.
Unsure of the reaction he would get, but unwilling to leave his partner to face this trauma alone, Heero made his way through to the bedroom. He could just make out the lump beneath the covers that indicated Duo's body in the bed. Closing the door softly behind him, Heero's eyes quickly adjusted to the dark. He slipped his sweats and sweater off, leaving his underwear on and carefully lifted the covers. Slipping between the sheets he was aware of Duo's body beside him and wondered what sort of a reaction he would get if he were to try and cuddle his lover.
Duo solved the problem for him though. He rolled over onto his side, turning his back to Heero and moving as far across the bed as he could get without actually falling out of it. Despite each man thinking they would never fall asleep, sheer exhaustion overcame them both and within half an hour, both were asleep.
* * *
Dawn was just breaking across the horizon when Heero began to stir. Something didn't feel quite right, but his sleep addled brain had yet to completely wake up. Shifting slightly in the bed he became aware that he was alone. Blinking open sleepy eyes he stretched out a hand and felt around the bed for his lover.
Duo's side of the bed was empty, and by the chill to the sheets, it had been so for some time.
The events of the previous afternoon and evening came crashing down on Heero and he sat bolt upright in the bed. There was no sign of Duo in their bedroom. Trying not to panic, Heero shot out of the bed and grabbed his robe, walking as fast as he dared out into the cottage to try and find his partner.
A quick search of the guest room, bathroom and kitchen came up blank, Heero doing his best to squash the feeling of trepidation as he continued his search. Stepping into the lounge room he found his partner and paused in the doorway to take in the sight as he heaved a sigh of relief.
Duo was curled up on his side on the couch, blanket draped over himself and Smokey snuggled up to his chest. The cat blinked her yellow eyes at Heero and continued to purr in contentment. She had no intention of moving. Rather than disturb his lover, Heero went back through to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil. Whilst the water was heating he slipped back into the bedroom and got dressed. He had horses to feed and put out, stables to clean and appointments to arrange. He hoped to have all his stable work done and be back in the cottage by the time the rest of the world would be ready for the day's business.
Checking on Duo once more and finding his love still fast asleep, He swallowed his tea and left a note on the kitchen table for Duo just in case his partner was to awake before he returned.
It didn't take Heero long to get himself into the routine. The horses were all put out in their paddocks and fed, the bute being added to Nataku's feed as per Duo's instructions. When Heero led Comet out to the paddock he frowned as he wondered what he would do about the horse. There was no question in his mind that Stefan was no longer welcome on the property, and that left the dilemma of what to do about the horse.
Knowing he had to attend the police station that day with Duo to give his statement, he thought it probably best to let the officers know of the situation with the horse and see what they would recommend. If Stefan was still in the hospital and likely to remain there for a few days, he wondered if there was anyone else that could fetch the mare and all Stefan's belongings. While Heero wouldn't allow the horse to starve or go without care, he wasn't looking forward to seeing Stefan again either.
Actually, he felt rather bad for Comet, she was a nice horse with a lot of promise – shame she had such an asshole for an owner.
Finishing up in the stables, Heero headed back to the cottage, pleased to note he'd only been gone for an hour and a half.
Stepping back into the kitchen, Heero walked softly through to the lounge where Duo still lay upon the couch. Smokey gave a wide yawn and looked at him expectantly. She was ready for her breakfast now. Giving the cat a small smile, Heero went back out to locate some food for her, Smokey jumping off Duo's chest as soon as she heard the rattle of the biscuits.
With the cat fed, Heero made two cups of coffee and carried them through to the lounge room. He set them on the coffee table and crouched beside the lounge. “Duo?” he called softly. “Duo, it's time to wake up.” Picking up one of the coffee mugs, Heero blew across the rim, directing the scent across his lover's face.
Duo's nose twitched as he scented coffee. Eyelids began to flutter as Duo slowly rose from his slumber.
“Time to wake up, Duo,” Heero called again. “I have coffee for you.”
A violet eye peeked out from a half open eye lid. “Coffee?” he mumbled.
“Hai, coffee.” Heero blew across the rim again.
“Smells good,” Duo stated and yawned. He went to stretch and gave a yelp of pain as his shoulder let him know it wasn't up to anything like that at all.
“Easy, Duo. Remember your shoulder is strapped and you can't use it.”
“No shit,” Duo scowled and tried again to maneuver himself from his prone position on the couch.
“Let me help?” Heero said and waited for Duo to accept.
A nod was his answer and Duo allowed his partner to assist him in rising to a sitting position. He winced at the dull pain still in his backside, although it wasn't as bad as it had been. The coffee was handed over and Duo took it. “Thanks.”
With his partner now sitting, Heero also sat on the couch, mindful of Duo's sore body. after a few minutes of silence, Heero spoke, asking the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue since waking up. “How come you slept out here on the couch?”
Lowering his eyes, Duo focused on the coffee mug. “I had a nightmare and I didn't want to wake you so I came out here. I guess I must have fallen asleep again.”
“Duo, you should have woken me, I wouldn't be mad at you. I love you and I want you to know that I'm here for you, always, regardless of what happens in our lives.” Heero dared to reach out and place his arm around Duo's shoulders, letting it rest gently. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” Duo shook his head.
“It might help if you talk about it,” Heero coaxed.
“Heero, I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay? Just leave it be,” Duo stated, his tone firm.
Knowing he was defeated, Heero agreed. “Alright, but if you do want to talk to me, you know I'll listen and it won't stop me from loving you any less.”
Heaving a loud sigh, Duo let his head fall to Heero's shoulder. “I know and I’m sorry. I don't mean to snap your head off – I just can't seem to -”
“It's okay, Duo,” Heero said, cutting his partner off. “I know you have a lot to deal with right now and I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. It will take a lot more than snapping my head off to get rid of me.”
“Thanks.” The word was whispered so softly that Heero almost missed it.
“You're welcome,” he whispered back and pressed a kiss to that crown of chestnut. “At the risk of raising your wrath and sounding like a broken record, I still think you should talk to someone, Duo. Sally did suggest that colleague of hers who is a specialist in these types of cases. Actually, I think we should both talk to this person, at least give them a chance. You never know, they may be able to help.”
Logic told Duo to accept and talk to this professional, Sally wouldn't have suggested them if she didn't think it would be of benefit; although Duo seriously had his doubts. Add to that the shame and humiliation he was feeling, not to mention the guilt, Duo didn't think anyone could do anything really to help him. It was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life and learn to accept – somehow. “Okay, you win. I'll see this person if it will get you off my back.”
Heero felt a stab of pain with Duo's words, but quickly reminded himself that Duo was dealing with some major issues here and the verbal shortness wasn't personally directed at him. “I'll call him in a minute and arrange an appointment. We also need to stop in at the police station today and give our statements.” Heero held his breath and waited for the barrage he was sure was coming with those words.
“Might as well put up a fucking banner or place an advert in the local paper, let everyone know what happened. I can just see it: 'Duo Maxwell, local vet and resident fag gets it up the ass from boyfriend's client. Maxwell said it was rape, but you can't rape a pansy.' Or something along those lines,” Duo spat angrily.
The words cut Heero to the core, driving home the reality of exactly what Duo had gone through and how it had affected his emotional stability and he winced. “I'm sure it won't be anything like that, Duo. Look how people reacted when Relena gave us both a lot of trouble a while ago, most were perfectly fine with our relationship and those that weren't, well, they're not even worth wasting breath on. It won't become common knowledge, only those people that are our close friends need to know and only then because we work with them, and they aren't going to condemn you for something that wasn't your fault.”
Without giving Duo a chance to respond, Heero continued on. “The police need our statements to be able to press charges against Stefan, if we don't give them it means he will walk away scott free and that could mean he could do it again to someone else.”
Heero was right, Duo knew that, deep down he knew he couldn't let Stefan get away with what he'd done; but Duo couldn't help but hesitate. Sooner or later the entire story would get out and he could only imagine the field day the local paper and many other residents would have with that information. He sighed again – he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately - and spoke in a low tone. “You're right, I know that and I will give my statement to the police. I guess all I can do is hope that once people know what happened to me that the business doesn't suffer too much.”
Tilting his lover's chin, Heero pressed a chaste kiss to Duo's lips. “I promise I will be with you every step of the way.”
Comforted a touch by Heero's words, Duo snuggled a little closer and closed his eyes, wishing the entire thing would just simply go away.
* * *
Heero managed to get an appointment with the counselor that Sally recommended for later that afternoon. The next step they had to confront would be letting Hilde, Zechs and Catherine know what had occurred. Duo didn't particularly want for them to know, aside from the humiliation he was feeling, he really didn't think he could cope with the reaction and protectiveness both females would be bound to try and shower him with. It would also only be a matter of time before Trowa and Quatre knew too.
As for Zechs...
Once Zechs knew, Treize would also know and that thought, along with the thought of Quatre and Trowa knowing of his humiliation, compounded Duo's already fragile self esteem.
“If it will make things any easier I can speak to Hilde, Catherine and Zechs,” Heero offered, setting a plate of poached eggs and toast in front of Duo, hoping his love would manage to eat something. He had a rough idea where Duo's thoughts were probably straying.
Looking up, Duo thought on the offer and then nodded his head. “If you could I'd appreciate it. I don't think I could handle the reactions at the moment.”
“I promise I will only give them the bare facts and do my best to stop them from trying to smother you.”
Duo couldn't help but give a small grin at that. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Eat your breakfast.”
“Yes, mom.”
Heero rolled his eyes and shook his head.
The conversation tracked away from the immediate problem, Heero opting to give Duo a run down on Nataku's state of health that morning. Duo seemed happy enough with his information, stating he would need to check the mare over and change the bandage on her fetlock once breakfast was finished. Heero had a strong feeling that Duo was trying to delay the inevitable – the visit to the police station – and whilst he could understand Duo's reluctance, he also felt the sooner they got it over and done with, the better.
With Duo managing to eat most of his food, Heero quickly did the dishes before accompanying Duo to the surgery stables to get the items he would need to treat the mare. Rather than let Duo enter the dispensary, Heero insisted he would fetch the items, leaving Duo to set the crush ready. He reminded himself he would need to get out the cleaning things later and clean up the mess that still remained.
With items all on the work bench, the pair fetched the mare from her paddock.
It was quite awkward fro Duo to treat Nataku given he only really had the use of his one hand and arm. The strapping prevented much shoulder movement which also meant the arm was out of commission and minimal use of the hand. With Heero's help he managed to unravel the bandage and check the stitching. The wound was clean and fresh, no sign of infection and Duo felt relieved at that; not that he'd expected there to be anything out of the ordinary going on, but one just never knew.
The bute was doing its job as well and the swelling was considerably less than the previous evening. Applying antiseptic cream to the line of stitches, Duo placed gauze over the top and let Heero put the bandage on. He checked the tightness of it once Heero had finished, happy with the result.
“Just need to give her a shot of antibiotic and she can go back out,” Duo informed Heero.
The syringe was filled and Duo gave the mare her shot, the bay flinching slightly with the momentary sting of the needle. “All done, girl,” Duo said as he rubbed the area he'd applied the shot to.

Having returned Nataku to her paddock, Heero met up with Duo back at the cottage. Knowing he couldn't put things off any longer, Duo collected his wallet and keys and followed Heero out to the car to go and give their statements.
~ * ~
tbc...
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Equus