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The Meaning of Pride	By : CardDragonBall Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 13043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Meaning of Pride
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-LEMONY INTERLUDE Tr/Gt
- 21-20
- 22-21
- 23-22
- 24-23
- 25-24
- 26-25
- 27-26
- 28-27
- 29-28
- 30-29
- 31-30
- 32-31
- 33-32
- 34-33
- 35-34
- 36-35
- 37-36
- 38-37
- 39-38
- 40-39
- 41-40
- 3
- 4
- 5
The Meaning of Pride

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Time
for the warnings portion:

A.
I own nothing but my own two hands.
All the characters portrayed here were kidnapped from their show DBZ and
forced to enact my wishes.

B.
Whilst mostly I strive to make this �in character� and not �AU� we must
all remember it is fanfiction. (In>(I�m
getting a bit snotty here, aren�t I?)

C.
Smut. Vegeta POV. Slash.
(That�s two boys bumping uglies, by the way.)

D.
If you didn�t read the warnings, you are on your own I have no sympathy
for you.

And
lastly:

Got this idea off the DBZ Saiyan
Slash mailing list. Will probably be
posting it there and at AFF.net

~~***

They
buried her on Saturday. Dressed her up
like a princess and put her in the ground.
He had been there, but the great Prince of All Saiyans couldn�t have
cared. He came because Bulma asked him
to and because his son wanted to be here to support his friend. He came to see what Kakarot was going to do. He hadn�t sparred on Friday. He was stuck, it seemed, in between the
earth-instincts to sit around and mourn their dead and the Saiyan instinct to
get over it and move on with life.
Living in a warrior society taught you early on that you couldn�t spend
all your life whining about how someone died.
Everyone died.

But
on earth, you mourned. For years. Whimpered and simpered and wondered why it
had to happen to someone you loved.
Kakarot was not doing these things.
But he was standing there, next to his sons, dressed up and looking sad
for everyone that gathered around.
Vegeta had been in that mind, and �sad� was not an emotion that the
idiot possessed. Angry. Enraged.es">
Happy. Confused. Those were the only things really. Everything else was a mimicry of what
everyone else felt. He had watched the
baka throughout the whole funeral and hated him for the way he turned into a
foolish simpering idiot to make all the humans around him happy. Even his littlest son didn�t show that much
emotion. He tossed his flower on top the
coffin, turned to Trunks and mumbled something. Looked like he had lost a parent; looked like he was going to
recover from it soon enough.

The
oldest one dealt with emotion by refusing to feel it. He stood very still and very straight and hand one arm around his
pregnant wife�s back. But he didn�t
cry, didn�t scream, didn�t betray any emotion.
Just stood.

But
Kakarot was play-acting for the humans.
Idiotan san style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Demeaning the very name
of Saiyan. Vegeta, himself, had not
said anything. Bulma had spoken, said a
few choked words about how good a mother she was and how nice of a friend
Chichi had been. Then she had stood at
his side and wiped tears out of her eyes when the coffin was covered with
dirt.

Ridiculous.

He
had to wait until Tuesday before he could see Kakarot again, and by that time the
man had regained all his former impish good nature. Was stretching. Looked
like he had been sleeping outside since his wife died�and from what Trunks told
him, Kakarot had been doing just that.

�Are
you ready Kakarot?�

�Yeah,
sure, Vegeta. I�m ready.�

He
waited. Wanted the other Saiyan to
strike first, as if he was waiting for the permission to spar. Ridiculous, of course, because he was born
of generations of Princes and he was the higher of them. He didn�t need to wait for anyone�s permission
to do anything. Others waited for him
to give permission. And as he stood
there, braced against the attack that wasn�t coming, and watched the way
Kakarot just looked at him; he felt a flash back to what it had been like to be
part of the idiot. Felt himself
empathizing. Felt a part of that
emptiness that was showing in the dark eyes.
Not because his wife had died�not really�but because without her,
Kakarot was not a part of anything. He
was not a true Saiyan. He was not an
earthling. He was something between the
two and without Chichi to tie him to this planet, he was free-floating. �If we are going to spar, than you would
need to attack.�

�I
know that, Vegeta,� he said with a smile, �I was just thinking.�

�So
that�s what�s taking so long.� He
dropped out of fighting stance and crossed his arms over his chest. �Have you had oughought yet?�

�I
just wanted to know if it was different,� Kakarot said, �For you, I mean.� He scratched the back of his head. �Ya know, if Bulma died. If it would be different.�

�Of
course it would be different; she�s not my wife.�

�But
you love her.�

�This
isn�t about my feelings, Kakarot, we are here to train. If you do not want to do that than I will
leave and you can pout.� Didn�t let his
stare drop away from the idiots. Felt
as if there was some sort of challenge between the two of them. There was always a challenge, bse
se
Kakarot was always somehow superior�without even meaning too. Bastard.
Vegeta was the Prince.

�Alright,
Vegeta,� he said, �We can train.� Then
he moved back into fighting pose.
Waited for Vegeta to do the same and then moved forward and started the
fight.

~~***

He
had never really spent that much time sitting around and contemplating why the
Prince was so very hard to like. (Other
than his dire need to be the best at everything and to be heard and worshipped
and all that.) Or why he had ended up
being the way he had. Or for that
matter why it was that one minute he was trying to kill Goku and Gohan and the
next time they had seen them, he helped his son. And saved Goku�s life�however inadvertently. Or, how Vegeta never wanted to look like he
gave a shit about anyone, but there was the underlining concern he held for all
those that he deemed worthy of his time.
Somehow; Goku had made that list.
Maybe it was really just because they were both Saiyans and there was
something to that whole shared-bond of brotherhood because they were the same
race.

Because,
certainly, the Prince spared no small amount of time letting Goku know that he
could be more Saiyan. But, as Goku
reflected, the Prince had n hat hated him.
Never made him feel bad about himself, not really. Just always had that challenge and that
rivalry with him. Which was
comforting. Because there were very few
people that Goku knew that hadn�t tried to kill him at some point. Either they wanted him dead and he defeated
them so they joined him or they loved him absolutely. Vegeta he had beaten (sort of) and yet, he did not give in and
follow Goku and he certainly didn�t love him completely.

They
weren�t friends. But it was nice to
have someone who could punch you twelve times in the gut, knee you in the ribs
and knock you into the ground, and yet, know that they didn�t really want you
dead. Know that when you gack ack to
your feet and fought back that even if they were fighting to defeat you; when
the moment passed they would go back to this rivalry thing. Tuesday�s spar ended in a draw.

�Hey,
that was a good one, Vegeta.� He said.
Felt that the words came out a little hollow. Wondered why that was.

�You
don�t have to keep doing that,� Vegeta informed him. Arms crossed over his dusty chest. Battle gloves stained with dirt and blood.

�Doing
what?�

Vegeta
just snorted. Shook his head. �I assume we will be meeting tomorrow?�

�Yeah,
sure, Vegeta.� Waved at him as he left
and then went to the stream, washed his face off and sat in the open grass
around the water, looked up at the sky and wondered about what Vegeta had
meant. Keep doing what? He hadn�t really been doing anything when he
had said that. Except dusting off his
pants. Which would be a silly thing for
Vegeta to tell him to stop doing.

He
sat outside until the sky went dusky.
Hunted and found food. Cooked it
and ate it and stayed outside where there was lots of space and peace. Didn�t want to go back inside a house where
there were walls and floors and ceilings.
Hated the thought of having to sleep in a bed that had oneen een his
wife�s and was now his. Didn�t like the
thought of having to walk through the kitchen where he had held her as she
died.

Laid
down and yawned. Fell asleep under the
open sky, woke up to the sunlight.
Thought about Vegeta again, and what he had meant. Tried to remember what it had been like to
be stuck with him during the fusion.
But mostly, he remembered the fight.
Fighting Buu. Remembered that he
had never felt stronger�or smarter.
Dimly remembered that what he could feel of Vegeta was wrapped up tight
and hidden away. As if the Saiyan had
spent his whole life hiding everything he was away from people.

Found
food. Ate it. Went to wait for the spar.
Found that Vegeta was already there.
Picking the non-existent lint off his shirt again.

�Are
we going to fight today are should I be expecting you to try and think?�

Goku ghedghed nervously, felt that that too was hollow sounding. And then shrugged. Thought about what Vegeta had been ing ing him yesterday. �You don�t have to keep doing that,� he
repeated back to Vegeta.

�I do
as I please.�

Goku
repressed a Vegeta-esque snort at this comment and then stretched and said: �If
you do as you please than why are you so insistent that the way I chose to live
is the wrong way?� This puzzled him for
a long time, and considering he had nothing but time on his hands�and a promise
to Bulma to figure out what�s going on with Vegeta hanging over his head�he
figured it was time to ask.

�Because
you d cho chose,� Vegeta said. For once
his voice was not dripping with absolute contempt. �You just do whatever anyone expects of you.�

Never
thought of it that way. So he tipped
his head to the side and looked at Vegeta: �What about you?�

A
roll of royal eyes and arms crossed over the regal chest. Vegeta gave him a glare and said: �I already
told you that we are here to fight, Kakarot, not discuss my life.�

He
dropped into battle pose, waited for a few minutes as Vegeta did the same, and
then moved forward to attack. Watched
the Prince�really watched him�and found that Vegeta was much more interesting
than he probably wanted to let on.
Because he attacked with such anger and at the same time, there was
something in his expression that was off.
Like he was here and fighting, but there was an ulterior motive
somewhere. Which was preposterous,
because Vegeta never wanted to send time in Goku�s presence when he wasn�t
fighting.

Goku
stopped fighting abruptly and said: �Hey, Geta, Why do you always call me
Kakarot?� This too was a question he
had always wanted to ask. (And never
did because he wasn�t interested in hearing an answer explaining in detail why
he was worthless as a Saiyan.)

�Because
that is your Saiyan name, Kakarot. Why
do you let these earth morons call you anything but your true name? Don�t you have any pride?�

He
spared a little laugh, and shrugged again.
�I guess I didn�t get the full Saiyan share.� Not that pride had ever been that important to him. He�d faced a lot of people that were full of
pride, and he had never seen that it had done them any good. And the name thing; he had never considered
that. But it made a great deal of sense
because Vegeta was all about having pride in his heritage. (Of course he didn�t really know his heritage
and that made it difficult to be proud to be a Saiyan. He didn�t even know what their planet looked
like.) �Hey,� he said, �Do you think
you could tell me about Planet Vegeta?�

�What
for?�

�Well;
you�re always telling me that I don�t �have pride� and all that. But you never say anything about what I�m
supposed to be proud of.� He actually
struck the Prince speechless. Not a
quiet disgust in his lack of pride or intelligence, bu act actual stunned,
thoughtful silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

I�m
getting a grip on it. It will not grow
beyond its current projected proportions.
(I�m not sharing that proportion with ya�all because I don�t want to be
stuck with a set limit.)

Gk: Too many big
words.

Vegeta: Not the
right sort of big words. (i.e.
erection. Orgasm. Ecstasty.
o:p>

Hectate 18:

Aww. Thanks for reviewing. Especially if you�ve been busy. Hope you get a break from the busy-ness.

Mechanical Butterfly:<
<
*sigh
* Yep, this one looks completely different than my other stories. No rampant biting. No wild lemons in every chapter.
But I�m glad that you�re reading it and that you like it.

Getarian:

Yes;
it all made sense. And you�re right, I�m
a Goku fan. I love Kamehameha. I have the Budokai game and I spend all my
time playing it perfecting my Kamehameha.
*sigh * And I�m very glad that I
portrayed Vegeta well. (I�ll admit I
like him more and more everytime I write him.)

Yep;
that�s what tittlittle after-dialogue is all about. To lighten up the other stuff.

Yeah! People
are reading it! And liking the
story!
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The Meaning of Pride

The Meaning of Pride

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