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Behind Blue Eyes	By : Naomi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1758 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
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BEHIND
BLUE EYES

PART
FOUR

*   *   *

It was strange how he
sometimes lost his own identity in a dream. Sometimes, when Heero dreamed, he
got lost inside someone, inside something. He was aware of himself, of his own
being, and yet he knew that he was someone else. In the dream world, when he
wamselmself and at the same time he was someone else, he occasionally got
confused. At times, he forgot who he was.

Lost in a dream, Heero knew
that he was someone else. He wasn�t sure if he was himself, and he wasn�t sure
if he was who he thought he was, but yet he knew excatly who he was. For
one confusing moment, he was sure of his own being, certain of his existence,
and the next moment he was lost inside someone else. Someone simple, innocent
and pure. His sense of self became one with the other being. He wasn�t sure
why, where, who and how he was. The only answer his dreaming mind supplied him
with was that he was Hikari. A three-year-old boy, with little chubby legs, and
small palms, holding his daddy�s hand as they walked together into a tall
building.

A certain part of his mind,
maybe logic or consciousness, hinted that it was all an illusion. A dream
caused by the picture he had seen at Nora�s place. He didn�t care if it was
real or not, he was hardly aware of himself to care for anything. All he knew
was that his daddy�s hand felt warm and strong, and his little heart filled
with pride as they walked together into daddy�s work place.

His daddy was tall. When he
looked up at him, it was like lng ung up at the skies. His black hair bounced
up and down as he walked. He liked his hair cuz it was fun to play with. It was
always so messy, and you could do funny things to it. His daddy looked down and
smiled at him. Hikari smiled back.

Everything in the building
looked big and clean. Even the flowerpots were big, and the armcarmchairs were
fun to bounce on. Daddy said he shouldn�t, but he did anyway. He laughed as
daddy picked him up in the air and carried him to the Big Room. The Big Room
was where daddy worked and it was really cool because it had a lot of room to
run and play. There was even a big sofa to jump on!

For a moment Heero noted that
the large panorama window at the office overlooked the whole colony. Shiny
silver buildings glittered under the colony light, green trees and avenues
decorating the space-settlement. But then he forgot about being so observant,
about caring for such details, and he was a little boy again, simply enjoying
messing with the shiny things on daddy�s desk. Sitting on top of the large desk,
he drew daddy a picture with the black pen that left a lot of stains on his
shirt. Daddy laughed and ruffled his hair. He was happy.

In a flash, that happiness
was gone.

There was a loud sound, a big
BOOM! and then everything went dark. The world shook and rattled, collapsing at
his feet. Daddy jumped out of nowhere, launching at him and snatching him off
the table. In an instant, he was held securely in daddy�s arms. The floor was
gone and they fell. He could taste dust in his mouth. He was scared, so he
began crying.

Daddy�s hands held him tight.
Hot wind rushed by them as they fell. He could see fire, and dust, and smoke.
He cried, screaming hysterically as the world continued to shudder. Daddy held
him close, and they were still falling. It was only for a second, such a quick
descend, and yet he could see so much during that time. He wanted mommy to be
here. He missed her. He remembered his home. His bed. The green trees in the
park. He forgot to wear his favorite blue sweater today. He didn�t feed the
worms he kept in a jar. Will they die?

Something broke with a loud
CRACK! when they crashed to the floor. Daddy screamed, and then there was
silence. Everything hurt. Daddy was still holding him tight, squashing him.
There was smoke everywhere, he couldn�t see.

�Daddy! Daddy!� He called but
daddy was lying on him and he was very heavy and he wasn�t even moving. Rocks
fell from the ceiling. There was a lot of blood on daddy�s face.

�Daddy!!!!!!� He screamed,
crying. He used his little hands push daddy away; it ward ard to breathe
because daddy was so big and heavy. He was squashing him. Daddy was still
holding him tight, his arms all around him, holding the back of his head,
protecting him. Daddy was too heavy to move. He cried because his chest hurt
real bad and there was a yucky metallic taste in his mouth.

More rocks fell from the
ceiling. They landed on daddy�s back and squashed him even more. Daddy didn�t
cry, he was sleeping and the blood kept his eyes shut. He felt hot because the
fire was so close. He was so scared and mommy wasn�t there to help him!

Another rock fell from the
ceiling. He saw it come closer and closer until it hit his head.

Then there was darkness.
Everything was quiet. He didn�t remember being Hikari anymore.

Heero was overwhelmed with
fear. He was half aware of the fact that he was crying. His head hurt like it
was actually hit by something sharp. Dream images swirled and whirled around
him. All of the debris, the blood, and the smoke. They whirled around him like
a crazed twister. He began fighting them off, pushing them away as he cried and
screamed.

He was trashing wildly in his
bed. Duo�s strong arms were around him as he whispered softly in his ear.

�Shhh... Hee-chan... shhh...
It�s just a dream... It�s all right... everything is all right...�

Dazed and confused, Heero
slowly opened his eyes. Glazed cobalt orbs blinked in the dark, trying to come
back to focus. He was panting harshly, his whole body trembling. He felt Duo
gather him into his arms, and he rested his aching head on Duo�s chest. He took
a slow breath and closed his eyes. His heart pounded strongly in his chest and
a nasty headache was drilling into his skull. He sighed tiredly and curled
closer to Duo.

The two lay quietly on
Heero�s sofa/bed, together under a soft quilt. The hour was late and only
darkness could be seen outside the window. A strong orange light of a portable
heater lighted the small apartment. The intense ginger light made the entire
apartment glow with warmth, washing everything with a golden hue.

Despite the pleasant heat
surrounding the apartment, Heero was still shivering. He lay close to Duo,
holding him like a lifeline, trying to shake off the effects of the nightmare.
Duo was lying on his back, slightly tilted to the side, his arms resting
securely around Heero. His naked torso was washed by the golden light of the
heater, his hair messy from sleep. His worried amethyst eyes shimmered under
the orange light, looking down at Heero with deep concern. He reached to pet
his boyfriend�s hair, his other hand gently rubbing Heero�s smooth back.

The blue-eyed boy lay still
beside Duo, his head resting on Duo�s chest. He closed his eyes and allowed
himself to relax, concentrating on the feeling of Duo�s tender fingers in his
hair, and the soothing movement of his palm on his naked back. After a long
while of silence, he felt Duo�s chest falter as he took a deep breath. He could
feel the hesitation in the air, before Duo slowly spoke.

�Are you all right?� He asked
slowly, as if speaking to a child.

�I think I hit my head...�
Heero mumbled against Duo�s chest, his voice numb.

�What? When? Where?� Duo
blurted in a hurry, checking Heero for injuries.

The boy sighed tiredly, and
slumped against Duo�s body. �Maybe that�s why... I�m not sure... I think...� He
murmured in confusion, his voice distant, like he was still dreaming. He was
looking ahead with dull eyes, the blue orbs glazed over with shock.

�Heero, what are you talking
about? What happened?� Duo asked anxiously, his heart beating faster. �Are you
all right?�

Heero didn�t answer. He
reached a hand from underneath the covers, and slowly brought it to his head.
He felt around his temples, his slim fingers digging into his thick hair,
feeling around as well. He drew his fingers from his hair, looking at them as
if expecting to see blood.

Duo looked at him in
confusion. �Heero, what�s wrong? What happened?�

Sighing heavily, Heero let
his hand fall down limply. He laid it on Duo�s chest and pulled closer to him,
snuggling against his warm body.

�Do you remember your name,
Duo?� Heero murmured in a tired voice, caressing Duo�s chest with the tip of
his fingers. He drew small circles over the smooth skin, his eyes looking ahead
at nothing. �Do you remember your real name?�

Duo was silent, his
expression haunted as he stared at the air before him. Taking a deep breath, he
closed his eyes slowly, as if trying to recall something that was lost to him.
�No, I don�t.� he answered gravely, �I... I don�t think I was ever given one.�

Heero sighed, the look in his
eyes forlorn and miserable. �I think I used to have a name, a long time ago.
Maybe I... I think I forgot it...�

More images flickered through
his mind, bright ones and dark ones mixing together. The green trees in the
park. A big explosion. That man�s - his father? No, he can�t be. It was just a
dream � smile. His mother�s blue dress. A big rock, crashing down on him.
Darkness. Odin Lowe, who found him and asked him for his name. Where did he
find him? It was dark. He didn�t remember. He didn�t know what to answer when
he asked for his name. �Wakaranai... wakaranai...� he had mumbled. His hands
were sticky with blood. Odin carried him away to someplace dark. More images of
that building, behind the trees. He missed it. Long hair. Blue dress. Oh, how
his head hurt... �What is your name, boy? Do you understand me? What. Is. Your.
Name?�

�Wakaranai...� Heero mumbled
with a sigh, letting his aching head sink deeper into Duo�s chest.

Worried by Heero�s behavior,
Duo wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He leaned down to kiss
the top of his head, his violet eyes shining with concern. �Just go back to
sleep, Heero. Shh... just go to sleep...� He whispered soothingly, his voice
shaking with emotion. His heart ached for his love, making his eyes moist with
tears. Heero sounded so confused and fragile at the moment, that it broke his
heart.

�Hold me.� Heero asked quietly, his voice heavy
with sleep. Closing his eyes, he snuggled closer to Duo and he buried his face
in Duo�s broad chest. He pulled his hands out of the covers and reached to hug
the other man. The sheets rustled as Duo�s hands slowly wrapped around him.
Heero sighed pleasingly, feeling better already.

Looking down at Heero, Duo
noted that the white covers fell aside due to his previous trashing.reacreached
a hand to pull them up again, being careful not to stir Heero awake. He let
them slide over Heero�s boxer-clad waist, and like a caress, he pulled them up
to his slender shoulders. The boy didn�t respond, and Duo assumed that he fell
asleep. With a heavy sigh, Duo leaned back into his pillow and sunk into a
swamp of grim thoughts.

If only there was a way to
ease Heero�s pain... he�d do anything to see him smile again. He hated seeing
him so upset, haunted by something he couldn�t understand. It was painful to
see that confused look in Heero�s blue eyes. He wanted to make him happy. He
was ready to do anything in order to see Heero shine again.

*   *   *

�Oh man...� Duo mumbled
nervously, shifting from side to side. �I can�t believe you�re making me do
this.� He said, his tone mock-accusing. He was standing by Heero�s side, in the
main hallway of Nora�s floor. He was here to fulfill his promise to Heero, his
best friend and recently established boyfriend, to come and meet his
counterpart, the other most important person in Heero�s life.

�For the life of me I feel
like I�m here to ask your mother for your hand in marriage or somet�in...� He
muttered, taking a nervous breath and running a hand through his bangs, for the
umpteenth time
that evening.

�Duo, you�re over reacting,
don�t you think?� Heero replied softly, his tone amused. �She is not my mother
and you are not here to ask for anything. We�re just going over for dinner.
It�s important for me that you�ll meet her.�

�I know... I know...� Duo
mumbled, shaking his head at his own silliness. �I just said that it feels
like it...� He sighed, turning to look at Heero with eyes shimmering with
doubt. �I mean, does she know about... us? Is that... I mean... am I supposed
to act different, or maybe, I mean... I dunno...�

�Duo, relax!� Heero said,
laughing lightly. Duo smiled sheepishly in return. His smile grew into a warm
and loving expression when Heero continued laughing softly. He enjoyed that
sound more than anything else in the world. It was a wonder in itself to hear
Heero laughing.

�Besides,� Heero continued,
snickering, �She knew about us even before WE knew about us!�

�I don�t follow.� Duo
muttered with a frown, taking another long breath to calm himself. He
swallowed, looking up at Heero with a �please don�t make me do this� look.

Heero smiled warmly and laid
a hand over Duo�s. �Come on, she doesn�t bite.�

Sighing, Duo followed Heero
to the door. While Heero knocked, Duo took the time to make himself more
presentable, arranging the collar of his white shirt, which was under a beige
sweater, and running a hand twice and then thrice threw his hair. First
impressions are the most crucial, he mused.

He looked up at his
boyfriend, and his gaze softened. Heero looked gorgeous no matter what he wore.
He could even make a pair of spandex and a tank top look good. And the clothes
he was wearing now were a far better eye treat than his old attire. With the
tight black jeans he was wearing and the sky-blue shirt that clung to his
torso, Duo found it hard to keep his eyes off the beautiful young man. He had
to remind himself not to ogle during dinner, or he�ll only end up embarrassing
himself ever more than he probably would anyway.

Heero knocked again, and then
carefully opened the door. He sent Duo a short glance, silently asking if he
was ready. When Duo offered a faltering smile in return, Heero smiled back and
opened the door.

�Nora? We�re here.� He said,
entering the apartment.

Swallowing hard, Duo
carefully walked behind him. He took a moment to scan the small apartment, his
eyes taking in the bright wallpaper, the colorful plants that decorated the
living room, the cozy living room and the grand dinner table awaiting them. The
table was decorated beautifully, with a white table map, fine china plates and
shiny silverware. There were two candles burning at the center of the table and
a small flower arrangement by their side. A delicious aroma of home cooking was
in the air. Duo smiled at the sight. There was a lot of love and effort put
into this meal. It made his heart warm.

Putting the glass away, Nora
shook her head slowly. �Please, Heero, there�s no need. You two have plans.�
She said tiredly, turning to face Heero with a forced smile. �I�ll be fine.�

�Demo�� Heero objected, shaking
his head in a desperate motion.

�Nora, maybe he�s right.� Duo
interjected, his tone careful for he felt out of place to say such things. �If
you are feeling ill, then...�

�Boys, please! I�m fine.�
Nora insisted, �It was just a slight nausea... I overate. That�s all.� She
said, and with a groan she struggled up to her feet. Heero got up as well,
reaching a hand to help her.

�Are you su he he asked,
helping her stand, �I really don�t mind staying, and if you need anything then
please say so.�

Nora smiled warmly, her eyes
shining as she turned to face him. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
�Heero, I�m fine. Don�t fuss over me, I don�t appreciate it.�

Heero made a face, but kept
his mouth shut. Sighing, he lowered his head and muttered: �Fine. I�m sorry.�
He reluctantly let go of her, and prepared to walk out of the bathroom. Duo was
waiting at the doorway, watching them silently. When Heero reached the
doorstep, he sighed and turned back to face the woman.

�Just... just call if you
need anything...� he pleaded, his blue eyes shimmering, �Please?�

Nora sighed, pushing her long
hair out of her eyes. She turned to �look� up at him, smiling. �All right. I
will.�

Heero smiled shakily in
return, still worried and confused. �Thank you.� He mumbled, and then walked
out of the bathroom.

Duo was already waiting for
him in the living room.

�Is it okay to e hee her like
this?� He asks worriedly, his heart aching for Heero. The young man�s anguish
was shining clearly in his blue eyes.

�Yeah.� Heero breathed, his
voice tired. He walked heavily towards the kitchen. �I�ll just... I�ll wash the
dishes and then we�ll go.� He mumbled dejectedly.

Duo hurried to catch up with
him, so he could walk by his side, and placed a comforting hand on his
shoulder. �Sure. I�ll help ya.� He promised with a warm smile, and the two set
to work.

*   *   *

It seemed like whenever he
was in a bad mood, the weather responded in kind. It was as if the Earth itself
reflected his own feelings and moods, which was quite absurd considering he was
a colony-born. He had little connection to the Earth, and yet the lively planet
seemed to have grown fond of him. Perhaps it was thankful towards the man who
had saved it from destruction. Maybe it was showing some sort of gratitude
towards him by sympathizing with his emotions. Maybe that�s why it rained
whenever he felt like crying, or the skies were a clear blue when his heart
felt lighter. Or perhaps, he had it all backwards, and the Earth detested him.
Maybe that�s why it didn�t allow the sun to shine when he was feeling down, so
there will be nothing to cheer him up. Plausibly, Heero mused, it was probably
just a coincidence. He was being selfish thinking that everything revolved
around him.

In any case, the fact
remained that ever since the dinner at Nora�s place, Heero�s mood was rundown,
and his mood reflected in the cloudy sky. The time was towards the end of
spring, and summer was approaching, and yet the weathermen were baffled as to
how a storm had come upon the city. The temperatures dropped drastically, and
cold winds blew over the streets. Now and then a shower of rain fell from the
heavens, and the sight of a blue skies became rare all of a sudden.

People didn�t give it much
thought. For a long while after the Eve Wars the weather had been Duo was sitting on the
sofa/bed, waiting for him. The bed was freshly made, and the braided young man
was sitting in the middle of the double bed, fluffing a pillow. Heero smiled
warmly at the sight, and made his way to the bed. With the towel hanging
loosely around his slender waist, he crawled onto the bed, and kneeled behind
Duo. He caught his braided boyfriend by surprise when he slowly began kissing
his neck, earning a small gasp from boy boy.

Heero smiled to himself and
leaned forward, letting his hands wander up Duo�s arms, to his shoulders, and
down to his chest. He pressed himself to Duo�s back, nibbling his neck
playfully, as his fingers sneaked under the boy�s shirt. Duo moaned and Heero
shifted closer, the mattress yielding under his movements.

�H-Heero...� Duo mumbled, out
of breath. �What�s gotten into you?� Breathless, he turned around to face the
Japanese boy. His gaze softened at the beautiful sight before him. He took a
moment to simply appreciate the sight of the beauty kneeling before him. The
way the warm orange light painted Heero�s muscled chest, creating an exotic
vision of the boy. He was wearing nothing but a loose towel, which was hanging
low around his slim waist. Duo�s eyes lingered onto the inviting sight, before
he turned to look up at Heero�s eyes.

Heero smiled shyly, his
cheeks slightly blushing. He reached a slim hand down, and slowly removed the
towel, slg itg it over his skin until it hid nothing. He swallowed, taking a
nervous breath, before he turned to look at Duo again. His cheeks blushed a
bright red, and his entire body burnt with heat. The feeling of complete exposure
in front of the one he loved sent pleasant tingles down his skin. Just being
looked at was arousing him.

Stunned, Duo simply stared.
His wide eyes traveled up and down Heero�s naked figure, until he met his eyes.
A small smile graced his lips, his eyes moist with tears for he was so
overwhelmed with love. Still, he hesitated to move. Heero saw that, noticed the
flash of that dark cell reflecting in Duo�s eyes, but he didn�t let it stop
him. Tonight he will prove, to both Duo and himself, that their love can win
over those memories. The past will be forgotten after tonight, he promised
himself.

He reached forward, and took
Duo�s hand in his. He guided the hesitant palm to his body, letting it rest on
his thigh.

�Don�t think about it.� He
whispered, looking deeply into Duo�s eyes. He smiled kindly, shifting Duo�s
hand so it slid down his inner thigh. �I�m not.�

Duo swallowed, looking
nervously at his hand, afraid to hurt Heero somehow, despite the fact that he
was not responsible for his hand�s current location. He looked up at Heero just
in time to see the boy lean closer, and then becoming a blur as he sealed his
lips with a kiss. The feeling of Heero�s warm lips against his mouth slowly
melted his fear away. He kissed back, tasting those soft lips and then parting
them gently with his tongue. He kissed Heero long and deep, rising higher on
his knees as he wrapped his arms around the boy. Heero�s skin was hot as fire
when he touched him. He rubbed his palm up and down Heero�s back, toying
ruthlessly with Heero�s tongue until the boy moaned helplessly into his mouth.
He drank every moan, as if they were wine, his body getting eager to play the
game.

When they parted, they were
both panting. Duo�s hair was tousled wildly, his bangs moving up and down as he
breathed. Heero was also flushed and breathless. He leaned closer to Duo,
breathing harshly into his ear as he whispered- �Make love to me, Duo. I love
you, I trust you, I...� His hand reached down between their bodies, taking hold
of Duo�s hand. He guided his hand to his hardening arousal.

�...I want you...� He
whispered in a low, sexy voice, smirking at his own boldness.

Duo smiled back and then
chuckled. He gave Heero a quick kiss, and then drew back so he could look into
his eyes. �Are you sure?�

Heero nodded, his eyes
shining with warmth and love. �More than anything. I want to make love with
you.�

It was all the reassurance
Duo needed.

*   *   *

That night, they made love
like nothing else mattered. �Heaven� would have been an understatement to
describe the feelings that flooded Heero that night. He never knew that sex
could be so gentle, so caring and considerate. He could feel the love in every
movement, every touch, and every caress. He was worshiped with kisses and sweet
words, praised by gentle hands and delicate lips. The pleasure coursing through
him was unimaginable. Never in his life did he feel such sensations, such deep
passion and love.

Duo let him set their pace,
control their positions and everything else. Settling on his knees, he waited
for Heero to act. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo�s neck, smiled shyly and
positioned himself above Duo�s erect arousal. He pressed his forehead to Duo�s,
looking him deep in the eye. Slowly, carefully, he lowered his hips and took
Duo into him, inch by inch. Pleasant shivers crawled under his skin as he was
slowly filled by Duo�s warm, lubed, erection. He closed his eyes in pleasure,
his breath quickening as he took Duo deeper and deeper into him. Duo leaned his
head back, groaning loudly. His eyes were closed tight, his lips pressed into a
thin line. He felt himself sheathed deeply inside Heero, his cock pulsing
inside the tight heat. Heero didn�t move, simply savoring the elevating feeling
of having Duo inside him.

�God... Heero... you feel so
good...� His lover ground out, his body shaking with pleasure.

Heero chuckled, leaning closer to Duo�s face. His laughter
tousled Duo�s long bangs, tickling his face. He kissed his forehead gently,
pressing his warm lips against the hot skin. He kept his hips still, relishing
in the feeling of having Duo inside him. He loved it, being filled, being whole
at last. He raised his hips up slowly, enjoying the feeling of Duo�s erection
rubbing against his inner walls. Duo moaned loudly, squeezing the tears out of
his closed eyes. Heero smiled and then quickly slumped his hips down, burying
Duo inside him swiftly. This time, his prostate was hit and a throaty moan tore
out of his lips.

�It... doesn�t... hurt...
does it?� Duo managed to ground een een clenched teethe, struggling to refrain
himself from slamming blindly into Heero.

The Japanese boy smiled
kindly and shook his head. �No.� He whispered, leaning down to kiss Duo. �I
enjoy it.�

Duo opened his eyes to look
at his lover, smiling. �I never enjoyed prostate stimulation.� He admitted.

Heero shrugged casually and
bent to nibble Duo�s lower lip. �Then it�s a good thing that I do.� He said
with a smirk, and then raised his hips again. He pushed down quickly, and then
repeated the motion. All the while his eyes were focused on Duo�s face,
drinking the sight of the pleasure dancing across his lover�s beautiful
features.

Using Duo�s shoulders as
leverage, he began creating a rhythm, riding Duo slowly at first and then
picking up the pace. They had no more breath left for talking; they were both
busy panting and moaning loudly. Heero leaned back, arching his back, while his
fingers gripped Duo�s shoulders tightly. His head was tilted back, his messy
bangs hanging low, swinging from side to side. The usual mop of hair that
obscured his features was thrown back, so that every inch of his features could
be seen washed in pleasure. He called out and jumped each time his prostate was
hit, his wild bangs bouncing up and down with him.

This union was the most
beautiful thing he ever felt. It was unconceivable that he held Duo inside him
at the moment. They were one being, one soul, at long last. His eyes flooded
with tears at the realization. Pure love was coursing through his veins,
overwhelming him and bringing him to tears. He�d been shedding so many of those
lately, compensating for all the years he had been holding them back. There was
no reason to hold back anymore, he felt free to act by his emotions. He was
finally following his own advice. Each time he shed a tear, his heart felt
lighter. There was more room for love in his heart as he shed the sadness away.

He could feel Duo lean
forward and attach his lips to his right nipple. He coated him with hot saliva
and began to suck. Heero�s arousal twitched. He cried out in pleasure, his
knuckles turning white as he gripped Duo harder. He was calling out so many
incoherent things, moaning and groaning as he moved his hips up and down in a
mind-blowing rhythm. He wanted to feel more and more of Duo, every inch, deeper
and deeper inside of him. He couldn�t hold himself back anymore and he launched himself at Duo, grabbing
the boy�s head with two hands and dove down to devour him with a brutal,
passionate kiss. He poured all of his lust, love, and passion into this one
kiss, taking Duo�s breatay way when he gasped. He continued to ride Duo without
using his hands for leverage, concentrating on driving his lover insane with
one single kiss.

Duo growled and returned the playful assault, kissing back
furiously. He grabbed Heero�s hips to keep him from falling, meeting him thrust
for thrust. He hugged the boy tightly, devouring his mouth as they both battled
for dominance. When his tongue finally won over Heero�s, he reached a shaking
hand to stroke his lover�s neglected arousal. The boy screamed loudly when he
was touched, the pleasure overloading his senses. After a few quick strokes
Heero came with a shuddering scream, his body convulsing. He came all over
Duo�s stomach, the movement of his hips slowing down as he rode on the waves of
his orgasm. Duo drove into him a few more times before coming violently. His
hand was still pumping Heero, squeezing him tight. Heero felt hot fluid burst
inside of him, coating his inside. He smiled at the feeling, and slumped tiredly
onto Duo.

The two collapsed on the bed,
panting, sweating, and basking in afterglow.

They lay together in silence,
simply breathing. Heero was curled against Duo, lying by his side. They
entwined their limbs, as Heero laid his head on Duo�s sweaty chest. His braided
lover was still breathing hard, and his chest rose up and down quickly. Heero
smiled at the feeling, also happy to hear the wild rhythm of Duo�s heart. He
wrapped his arms around Duo, hugging him tight. Duo�s hand slowly traveled up
and down his body, caressing him with soft butterfly touches.

�I love you.� Heero
whispered, reaching down for Duo�s braid. It was still wet from the shower he�d
taken but two hours ago. He began toying to the tip of Duo�s braid, curling the
wet hairs around his finger and then releasing them.

Duo�s hold on him tightened.
He pushed him closer to his body, and kissed the top of his head. �I love you
too, Hee-chan. More than anything.� He whispered back, caressing Heero�s smooth
back. �Thank you for a wonderful evening.�

Heero smiled sheepishly, his
cheeks blushed. �You�re welcome.� He mumbled into Duo�s chest, shrugging
lightly. He curled deeper into Duo, nestling himself against the warm body. He
sighed pleasantly, enjoying the warmth surrounding him, and drifted into an
exhausted sleep.

*   *   *

He was home again, standing
in the middle of a green park. Shiny silver buildings peeked from behind the
trees, the hint of a window and some flowerpots visible behind lush branches. He
turned to look around, examining his surrounding. He smiled at the familiar
sight, a feeling of peace taking over him. The park was silent, only the soft
twittering of birds heard from a distance. Behind him, down the green hill,
spread the whole colony in all its glory. The silver streets glinted under the
colony light, colorful cars cruising down the roads.

He smiled, and turned back to
face the park. The air was warm and sweet. He inhaled deeply and began to
slowly walk down the gravel trails, enjoying himself beyond belief. He didn�t
recall feeling such ease in a long, long, while. The calm atmosphere and the
delightful green sights bestowed a pleasant feeling over him. He closed his
eyes and tilted his head back, a smile spreading on his features as he let
himself enjoy the warm colony light.

He stood still for a few
moments, simply absorbing the pleasant silence. When he opened his eyes again,
he saw Nora standing not so far away, on a nearby hill. She was wearing her
beautiful blue dress, her long brown hair cascading smoothly down her back,
tousled by the wind. It seemed like she was looking for someone, searching
desperately. Heero smiled warmly. She was looking for him.

He took a step forward,
simply wishing to go to her, to end her search so she will not be so sad. The
minute he took another step, someone stopped him. He was grabbed forcefully
from behind, two pairs of strong hands gripping him by his upper arms. His eyes
widened in panic.

�No!� He called, frightened.
He reached a hand forward, in Nora�s direction, trying desperately to reach
her. �Nora!�

The hands restraining him
tightened in a painful grip, nearly ripping his flesh. An evil laughter rang in
his ear, followed by another.

�C�mon, sweet cakes, time to
go back.�

�Yeah, babe, we missed ya!�

He knew those voices and he
shook his head wildly in denial. �No! No! Please!�

They began dragging him away
from there, and he knew, without even looking back, that they were dragging him
into that dark cell again. He fought them with all his might, struggling to get
away. To get back to Nora. She was waiting for him. She�s been waiting for so
long, he had to go to her!

But he couldn�t get away from
them. He was too tired to fight, too exhausted to struggle. It was those damn
tests, they made him weak. He couldn�t even move his legs anymore. He hung
limply in their hold, his feet dragging on the gravel road as they carried him
away. His head hung low in defeat, his bangs obscuring his eyes as he mumbled:
�Please... no more tests... please...�

Nora was still on that hill,
looking left and right, searching. She was getting further and further away. He
gave one last attempt at escape, but it did him no good. They only laughed at
him, calling him names.

�Hurry up!� Lady Une barked
at them, crossing her arms over her chest. �Get him out of the hangar!�

He jerked his head up to look
at her, a desperate plea in his eyes. �Please! No! They raped me! Let me go!
Please! They�ll do it again! Can�t you see?! Please! Please...�

His words only made her
angry. She slapped him hard and then spat in his face. �Private Barton! Get the
prisoner back to his cell!�

�Trowa- no!� He screamed, his
voice anxious as he noted that the green hill was so terribly far away. He
could barely see Nora anymore.

�We�ll continue the tests
tomorrow. Tell the scientists to prepare the Mercurious.�

�No! Please no... Nora- help
me! Help me!! Nora!!!!�

The iron hands gave him a
finally yank and threw him into the cell.

It was dark. He couldn�t see
and he couldn�t hear. He wasn�t sure if he had a body anymore, until his legs
were thrown up in the air and forced painfully open. He closed his eyes tight
and screamed:

�MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!�

Heero awoke with a jerk.
Someone was shaking him, holding him by his upper arms. For a moment, he
panicked. He was naked and someone was by his side, also naked. Tears of
helplessness filled his eyes. He lifted his arms to fight off the unknown
attacker, but the rapist wouldn�t let go!

�No! No! Let me go! Don�t
touch me! Let me go!!!� He screamed, trashing wildly on the bed. He will not
give in so easily! As long as he had the strength to fight- he will not give
in! He kicked and he punched, doing his best to get away from the man by his
side. The man, however, refused to let go. He was shaking him forcefully, as if
trying to wake him.

�Heero! Heero! Look at me!
Heero!� Duo�s anxious voice slowly sipped into his consciousness.

Heero gasped, his eyes
darting up to meet the worried purple orbs above him. He stilled, his body
slumping heavily into the mattress. His features were pale with confusion and
shock. He shifted his gaze from side to side, trying to recall where he was.
Tears began to flood his eyes as realization slowly returned. He was home. He
was with Duo. He was safe with Duo. He was with Duo...

Propped on one elbow so he
could look down at the boy beneath him, Duo watched as Heero slowly realized
where he was. He lay silently by his side, the blanket sliding down to his
naked waist. He reached a hand down to caress Heero�s cheek, wiping away the
stream of silvery tears. He took a faltering breath, trying to remain calm
despite the vulnerable and frightened sight of his lover. He couldn�t bear to
see Heero like this. His heart ached because he knew that this was his entire
fault. He never should have let Heero sleep with him. It was still too early.
He knew it, and still he played along. He should never have done that.

Sighing sadly, Duo looked
down at his lover, gently tousling his bangs. �Heero, look at me.� He whispered
softly. He held himself from flinching when a pair of frightened blue eyes
turned to him. He swallowed, and reached to pet Heero�s tender cheek.

�Do you regret what we just
did?� He asked quietly, his tone careful.

It took Heero a few long moments,
at which he merely stared dumbly at Duo, before he slowly shook his head.

Duo was unconvinced. Leaning
closer to Heero, he looked him straight in the eyes and whispered harshly. �Did
I hurt you in any way?�

�No... no... I wanted it... I
did...� Heero mumbled in a small voice, still suffocated with tears. He shook
his head against the pillow, looking up at Duo with shimmering eyes. �I�m the
one who... who started it... I wanted it... I did...�

�Heero, are you sure?� Duo
asked, nearly crying. The boy seemed so confused that he found it difficult to
be assured. �God, Hee-chan, the last thing I EVER want is to hurt you.�

�I know... I know...� Heero
murmured, turning his head aside. He sighed deeply, staring ahead at nothing.
�I... I don�t think it had anything to do with the rape...�

Duo frowned, confused. He lay
down again and scooped Heero into his arms. He wrapped his arms around the
boy�s slim body, pressing him closer to his chest. Heero laid his head under
his shoulder, close to his chest, and Duo bent down to kiss the top of his
head. �Then what is it? What�s wrong?�

Confused, Heero didn�t know
what to answer. He stared unfocusedly at the white sheets, trying to find the
words to explain it to Duo.

�It�s just that... there�s...
there�s so much stuff in my head, Duo... so much... in my head, I... I can�t...
can�t stop thinking about it... remembering...� He sighed, closing his eyes
sadly. �I don�t know...�

Fresh tears lingered onto his
long eyelashes, his lips trembling in an attempt to stop the sobs from coming.
He couldn�t help it. He felt so small and helpless at the moment that he
couldn�t restrain his tears. He reached a shaking hand to hug Duo tightly. He
buried himself in Duo�s chest, pressing closer to him until he felt that they
were one again. He didn�t even have to ask, Duo knew that all he wanted was to
be held. Warm arms held him tightly, soft fingers playing with his hair. They
lay together, limbs entwined, letting time tick by slowly. Heero couldn�t be
more grateful for the love and warmth that surrounded him at the moment.

*   *   *

�I brought you some soup.�
Heero mumbled solemnly as he placed a small tray on Nora�s nightstand. He then
turned to carefully sit down at the edge of her bed, sighing deeply before
facing her. The woman was lying slumped against a small mountain of pillows,
looking terribly pale and exhausted. There were black bags under her eyes and
her lips were parched. Her long brown hair lay spread over the pillow, a few
messy hairs falling over her face. Heero reached a gentle hand to wipe them
away, his eyes shining sadly.

�Please eat.� he said softly,
his blue eyes pleading with her, �You haven�t eaten in days.�

�I�m not hungry, Heero.� she
muttered, shaking her head tiredly, �I�m too nauseous to eat...�

Heero sighed. �You have to
eat something, Nora.� He insisted, turning to take the small bowl of soup. He
placed it in his lap and dipped the spoon in. He carefully served it to Nora�s
lips. His eyes begged her to open herth. th. With a long sigh, Nora sipped the
soup and then slumped back into her pillow. Her blue eyes gazed blindly ahead
as he fed her patiently, not saying anything even when she spilled some soup
over her nightgown. He simply wiped the fluid off her chin with his sleeve and
fed her some more. The room was silent as he served the spoon to her lips,
feeding her at least half a bowl.

�Please, Heero. No more.�
Nora whispered hoarsely, gesturing with her hand to emphasize her words. �I
can�t eat anymore.�

Heero nodded in understanding
and placed the bowl back on the nightstand. He continued to sit on the bed, his
hands in his lap and his gaze at the floor. A heavy silence fell over the small
bedroom, so heavy that it was hard to bear. Nora lay quietly on the bed, her
gaze thoughtful. She was listening carefully to the sound of Heero�s breathing,
trying to detect if anything was wrong. He was so silent, he didn�t even more.
There were no rustling sheets to indicate any movement. The slow rhythm of his
breath and the way he sat heavily on the matters brought her to one conclusion.
Something was bothering him. He was very upset, and frankly, she couldn�t blame
him.

�Heero, what�s wrong?� She
asked, trying to make her tone lighter, softer. She could hear him sigh
heavily, and by the small shifting of the mattress she figured that he must
have shrugged or something.

�It�s nothing, Nora. I...
it�s nothing.�

That was not the answer she
wanted to hear. She forced herself up, dragging herself over the pillows so she
could more or less sit. She reached forward, searching for his hand. Since she
didn�t find it, she settled for placing her palm on his forearm. �Heero, if
something is bothering you, I�d like to hear about it.�

Still he kept silent.

Nora sighed, shaking her
head. �If you are worried about me, then don�t be. I�ll be fine in a few days.�

�That�s not it...� He
mumbled, and then stopped himself. �I mean, I am worried about you,
but... but that�s not why I�m...� He slowly trailed off, burying his face in
his hands. �Forget it.�

Nora heaved a long,
irritated, sigh. �Heero, what�s been bothering you?� She repeated, her tone
harsher than before. He was appealing to her stubborn side now, and he should
know well by now that it should not be messed with.

Heero sighed as well, his
eyes fixed at the floor as he placed both hands over his lap. His gaze was numb
as his voice when he finally mumbled: �I... I�ve been wanting to... to speak to
you, about... about something.�

�What about?� She inquired,
reaching up to tousle his hair briefly, offering a small comfort.

Heero shifted uncomfortably
on the bed, struggling to find the right words. �I... I... I�ve been having
these strange dreams lately, and...� He paused, afraid to continue.

�What dreams?� she asked
worriedly, �Did your nightmares return?�

Heero shook his head, his gaze
still at the floor. �No. Not exactly.� He whispered, and then sighed, running a
hand through his bangs as he pushed them backwards. �They are very disturbing,
but... they�re not the same as before.�

�What do you mean?� Nora
asked, confused.

Taking a deep, faltering
breath, Heero turned to face her. His expression was dreadfully serious as he
spoke. �Lately I�ve been... I�ve been dreaming about your family, Nora. I�ve
been dreaming about... about Hikari.�

Nora visibly stilled at his
words, frozen in her spot. She swallowed hard, and cast her gaze down. �I see.�
She mumbled, reaching a hand to wipe a few chunks of long hair out of her eyes.

Heero berated himself for
bringing up the subject. She was feeling bad as it is, why make it worse?

�I�m sorry. You probably
don�t want to talk about it.� He mumbled, turning away. �You should get some
sleep.� He added solemnly and prepared to rise off the bed.

�No.� Nora stopped him,
reaching for his hand. She held it tight, raising her head up to �look� at him
with a serious and sharp gaze. Her blue eyes were so intense; it was hard to
believe that she was blind. Heero swallowed and slowly sat down.

�I do want to hear about it.�
She said earnestly, squeezing his hand tighter. �Never dare to think
that I don�t want to hear what you have to say, Heero.� She spoke harshly,
trying to convince him with all her willpower. Her eyes somehow found his, and
her blind gaze paralyzed him.

�What do you dream about,
Heero?� she asked slowly, as if speaking to a child, �Tell me.�

�I don�t know...� Heero
mumbled, shaking his head slowly. He sat down by her side, leaning against the
pillows. He didn�t turn to face her, though, when he finally spoke. His gaze
was fixed on his fidgeting hands, his slim fingers playing with the sheets.

�I could never bring myself
to remember my past. I lost every recollection of what I experienced before my
training.� He began quietly, struggling to say every word. �As a child, I
simply accepted the fact that I had nowhere to go, no place to return to. I had
nothing, and yet I always had the feeling that there was something out
there. I spent hours looking out various windows, as if the answer would
somehow come to me.�

�And now it did?� Nora asked
softly, placing a hand over his.

Heero nodded slowly. �I�m...
I�m almost sure that I remember.� He confessed quietly, an uncomfortable
feeling taking over him. �I think that my dreams are trying to tell me
something.�

There was a moment of silence
as Nora slowly absorbed his words. She then turned to face him. �What do you
dream about?�

He sighed, shifting
uncomfortably on the bed. His fingers were still fidgeting as he spoke. �I
dream about a park, mostly. A big green park, in some colony. It�s a familiar
place and I feel happy when I see it.�

�And you�ve never dreamed
about that park before?�

He paused to think for a
moment, until he finally mumbled, �I... I think I did. But not as frequently as
I do now.�

�What else?� She asked, her
fingers tightening around his palm.

�I dream about fire, and fear
and smoke. I see people in my dreams, people which I�m sure I know, which I
love, but then when I wake up it makes no sense.�

Nora nodded, her expression
grave for some reason. �Do you suppose it�s because of what I told you about
Hikari?�

Heero shrugged helplessly and
then shook his head. �No.� he said, his heart beating faster, �It�s not that,
because... because in my dream I know that I am Hikari.�

Nora smiled sadly. �It�s a
very nice idea, Heero.� she whispered, bowing her head sadly, �And I would have
loved it if it was true.� Inhaling deeply, she turned to face him. Her voice
faltered with tears as she spoke. �But it can�t be. I buried both my husband
and my son. I ran my own hands over their burnt bodies. I covered their graves
with dirt and ran my fingers over their tombstone. They were... they�re dead,
Heero. They died a long time ago.�

Dejected and embarrassed,
Heero sighed. He forced himself to chuckle, though his eyes glinted with tears.
�It�s a silly thought, I admit.� He mumbled, his voice small and sheepish,
�Absurd, even.� he continued, feeling stupid for even considering the idea. He
turned to face her, his blue eyes flooded with tears. Nevertheless, he smiled.
�Though I wish badly that it was true.�

Nora smiled back. �So do I,
Heero.� She whispered lovingly, tapping on his hand. �You are a very special
person to me. I love you, and I want you to know that.� she said, taking hold
of his hand and squeezing it tight. �I know that you are not very fond of this
�mushy� talk, but... well, I think that even you need to hear it from time to
time.�

Heero chuckled/sobbed, and
then sniffled. Nora leaned forward and gathered him into a tight hug. She
leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling his warm arms wrap around her. She
guided his head to rest on her shoulder as well, her fingers stroking the soft
brown strings like a mother soothing a child after a nightmare. Her blind blue
eyes were also flooded with tears, and she buried her face in his neck, trying
to hold back to sobs.
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Behind Blue Eyes