Unity

Warnings: Adult Language, Adult content, drug abuse, and anything else I can't think of right now be warned for it anyway.
Um... Male romance, shonen ai (Which means Male romance...), since there is drug abuse then you should be warned that this chapter deals with recovery from such things so that means vomitting, headaches, and all things that deal with heavy drug recovery. I figured I should warn of these things now so you, as the reader, are not surprised. If I forgot anything I apologize.

Author's Note: This chapter is in Duo's P.O.V. and I'm sorry that it took this long to get the chapter out. This chapter is a bit forced so if it doesn't come out as great as it needs to I apologize now. But I'll never finish it if I don't make myself do it. There is only so long I can wait for my writers block to completely vanish.

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful artist that drew me fanart. I'm over joyed. SO this is for you Admantius And thank you all who replied and read my story thus far!

Chapter Four
Shinigami: Death and Rebirth

I'm staring at the vid phone recording machien as I push down on the seringe pumping a small dose of venom into my viens. It burns, the liqued elixer of my emotions, but it always makes me feel better in the end. Before I do so I'm shakey, sweaty, irriatable, and not the Duo every one knows and loves. The only problom with him is he's the biggest, and the only, lie I've ever told. He's a fake and only exists if I continue to take the drug. Not only that but all faucits of my personality is dictated by which drug I choose.

If they need me to be scary there's a drug for that, happy, cheeriful, angery, carefree, there is a drug for each of those personalities. As for the real me you ask? Well I exist somewhere between all that, suffering and afriad to let anyone in far enough to see the raged torn creature I am. Yes I am happy but alone and thus I can't let people see the real me, I'm diffrent, unique, odd, insane.

If you want to ask what drugs I've done, try asking what ones I haven't done first, less time wasted that way. But I'm Duo Maxwell I have to do everything the difficult way. Take the war for instance, I could have just blown up Deathscyth and been done with it but I didn't I joined the fight. Even before then I could have just layed down and rolled over through out my street life child hood, but even then I had to go against the grain.

Difficult? Yes.

Adveturous and Fun?

Hell fucking yes!

I wouldn't change anything I've ever done including when I got myself into drugs. Never, not for an instant, because without my experiance I would not be the person noone knows about. Now you're wondering why hide my true self if I'm so proud? Well that's easy. There are very few people who would understand and except the real me. Not to mention it isn't safe to be me in this world. No where to rest my head without wondering if I'm going to wake up and find my head in a noose.

Now who is the real Duo Maxwell?

Not so easily answered I asure you. Me I believe whole heartedly that something can't just bloom with out hardship first. And I'm not saying it doesn't happen per say, all I'm saying is things are so much more beautiful built apon destruction. More apreciated because it came through when nothing else did. Things and People, like Relena for instance, that don't break through the decay and destruction aren't as strong. Relena is a whole lot stronger now because she made the decision to folow Heero, which ended up with her being draged through a whole hellava lot of shit. Now she's the corner stone of our socity, which I believe she's perfect for.

In other words I like destruction, I live for the battle, the mission it gives my life meaning. The down side noone can understand or except this part of me. Well except Une, who only saw a mere glimps of the destruction I hunger and put me on interigation and investigation. Think about it, you're in a small inclosed room, with only one light on above the metal table, and one other person across the table from you smirking in a dark sort of way. Feet proped up eyes hooded from you by long chestnut bangs, leaning back in the chair, hands steepled, saying nothing but threatening you every moment you sit there. After awhile it dawns on you if it weren't for the fact that someone had aressted you, and the person across from you had found you first, you would be in a lot of pain and could still be if you don't confess and be put in jail for your protection.

Wanna know the scary thing?

I'd go looking for them and they would face horrors never even imagened before they were even aloud to die. I would watch the life slowly drain from there eyes and I'd be happy about it to. Why would I do this? Well those bastards are fuckin' up a peace that I bled for, that I sufffered for, that I put my everything into. And they think they can just come along and fuck it up? I don't think so. Plus, every now and then we get a rape case or murder case things like that, and suddenly it's dropped because the suspect dissappears, perminantly, I make sure myself.

I never get caught , I have the devils luck, I'm Shinigami plain and simple. And I'm happy about this, because I am who I am, but the real me isn't what this society needs nor wants, I know that. Yet I'm here anyway, so I've hidden that descructive happy side from everybody and lied about it to. This is where the shame comes in, I don't lie its the one thing that I refuse to break, and yet I have because it had to be done, but I wish I hadn't. That's right the one and only Choice I wish I hadn't made. So what if I ended up with all the other slimey Bastards I've put in the slammer it's where I probably belong. There or...

My Safe Haven, with Heero and Wufei. I know they'd be cool with the real me. Even though Heero and my innerselves are completely diffrent he'd except that. Wufei and me are actually alot more alike than most people think. He has the same look I do, the same craving, though he hides it better, and his reasons behind them are diffrent from mine. When did I find this out? The safe house we were all stuck in for three months or something like that right after the war when there was an uprising from the citzens when we were pardoned from what we'd done.

I've never wanted to be me more, than during that time with just the five of us. There was one other time, during the war hiding from the Ozzies, when Wufei was still a burning ball of fire and "justice". Seeing his eyes flash that same sadistic satisfaction when he talked about getting rid of Oz was a surprise and a turn on. I loved it, an equal on the inner battle field.

I swipe my security card at the preventer head quarters, and head up towards une's office. She's not going to like what I have to tell her but she'll deal, besides I have the perfect replacement for her already on the way. I'm in my street clothes, a back pack slung carelessly over my left shoulder, hands in my jean pockets. I wave at Anette giving her my happy-go-lucky smile and she smiles and waves back pushing the button to let me into the floor Une's on.

I wink at Trowa, who stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me coming, I guess he knew I was leaving already. No surprise, I practically spelt it out for him. I had no intention of doing this the easy way like Wufei and Heero, I'm doing this to her face and givng her the name of the person who will be taking my place when I leave. Une should know bettter than to do anything but what I ask of her when it comes to my job.

I open the doors to Une's spacious office and give her my winning smile. She gives me a once over, smiles and holds out her hand. Damn she's good at figuring out what I'm doing. I guess that's what happens when you work with someone for almost seven years. I let my pack slide to the floor, my registration aperrating from nowhere in front of her eyes, and I hand it to her still smiling. She looks over it then looks at me a sad look in her eyes.

"Are you-" I interrupt her by raising my hand.

"Very. I even know who's going to take my place, she's the only one I trust would come anywhere close to being as good as me, becasue I taught her how to do it. Now I'm sure the suspects will think its funny at first but trust me that attitude will change. Quickly." I smirk.

"I'm all ears." She sighs.

"Hilde. She's great. Maybe not as Dark as me... but pretty damn close. But anyway that's who you're going to replace me with. She's already on her way I promised her my job. And before you ask she has no idea where I'm goin and she never will so don't pester her like you did me when 'Fei left."

"But you know where they are now because you're leaving."

"Yeah and no I'm not telling you."

"I already surmised as much Ag-Mr. Maxwell."

"Well that's everything then. See ya Une-babe." I say and in a flash I'm standing and walking out."

"Be safe, all of you." She whispers, and I nod.

'I'll bring your message to them Une don't worry.'

"See Ya!" I yell down the Hallway as I step out the door for the last time. "So long society."

--00--

I'm a little shakey when I arrive at the house, my safe haven, and I know my troubles have just begun. I trudge forward through the mud, only belatedly realizing it probably rained last night and that's why I'm covered in the stuff. I just had to walk it here, less chances of being found out, less chances of this place being taken from me as well. I step onto the wood porch and look around as I begin to untie my boots.

Work has deffinately been done since last I was here, from the looks of it what used to be the barn seems to be a multi unit. The doors are wide open at the moment and I can see a dojo and what looks to be a wieght training room. Good, I could use a place like that. I slip my boots off and leave them there, typing in the code on the security block next to the door. Why have one on the outside when people like me can break into them? Because this is no ordinary security system, this is Heero, and he is a perfectionist when it comes to seperating the outside from himself.

Then I state the word that I came up with those years back, the AI beeping its acknoledgement that it is me. We all came up with our own words for our voice resignation, that way even if someone recorded our voice the thing still needed our code, and we're the only ones that know it. The door clicks, the unlocking procedure complete and I turn the knob and open the front door, casual ozzing from my every gesture.

"Hello?" I breath, like they'd actually hear me say it in a voice so quiet.

"Duo?" I hear a shocked voice say and I look to the left so see Wufei staring at me in surprise before he smiles.

Now I'm shocked, Wufei never smiled.

"Heero is going to be upset that he wasn't here at your arrival."

He steps closer and holds out his hand in a 'here let me take that for you' gesture and I hand my bags over to him deftly. I knew it was going to be diffrent, but this... What on Earth have I missed since Wufei left? Since Heero even? I follow Wufei as he shows me to my room explaining things to me.

"Heero and I have been working on this place for awhile now, but it won't ever get finished until everybody makes it here. I asume you probably won't want to stay in the same room with Heero and I so I have a spare all done for you. When you get confortable you may join us."

He opens the door to my room and I look in. The walls are painted a deep violet, the sheets are black, and wood floors that are a dark stained brown. My dressers are the same and I can see unused candles arranged arround the room and in the furthest right corner from where I stand I see a book shelf and cd/dvd combo filled with what I like. I blink, stunned, as I realize they remembered what I liked and went through the trouble of finding it.

"We each have a room to our own. Heero and I thought it best that way. So when we want alone time we can go into them and just relax. Heero made mine, it's practicaly a library with a bed in it, with my Chinese cultural flare. I did yours while he worked on our conjoined room. I hope you like it." He explains and I smile, a real smile and hug him.

"It's more than like Fei, I love it." I mummble and realize that this is Wufei I'm hugging, but before I pull away I feel his arms embrace me back.

"We were worried that this arrangement, if you can call it that, would be unexceptable for you and the other two."

"What do you mean?" I ask in a daze.

"What he means is he and I are together, but we don't just love eachother. We love all of you and are hoping that all of us can be together." Heero's states only a few feet away and makes me jump.

"Wha- wait you are together," They nod. "And you're hoping it will be a group thing?"

"Yes, if it is possible. We'd be happy either way. Ofcoarse the room that is set up to have all of us in it would go to waist." Heero answers matter-of-fact.

"And so would that beautifully crafted bed frame for the matress you made." Wufei adds.

"What frame?" I ask curious.

"Would you like me to show you?" Heero questions me his eyes growing bright.

Wow, now there's a look you don't see everyday from him. I nod and begin to follow him only stopping when Wufei clears his throat. I turn back towards him and see him looking down at the duffle bag I have next to my back pack.

"Yeah 'Fei?" I ask my right eyebrow rising to my hair line.

"Do you want me to take care of your stuff?"

I'm about to just say yeah thanks when it dawns on me my "stuff" is in there and that is what he's asking about. I stare shocked for a moment then I glance and see Heero's just as confused as I was a moment ago. So Wufei knows and didn't tell Heero, but he's not going to stop me either. It's my choice, he knows I'm an addict and I wouldn't able to do it myself even if I tried, he's willing to help me if I want him to.

I nod and he stares at me a moment before walking into the bedroom and shutting the door to do his deed. I know I have at best an hour and a half before I start getting really pissy and start freaking out without my drugs. I also know that Wufei will make it seem as though I never packed those drugs and I will find no evidance of their existance anywhere in that room no matter how hard I try. This also brings my attention to the fact that its my duty to inform Heero that in a couple of hours he's going to start having a drug withdrawn Duo and it will not be pretty.

"Neh Heero lets go see that room and I'll tell you what my deal is. Kay?" I say in my usual tone.

He smiles at me and turns throwing over his shoulder, "You're going to love this."

And just because he said it, with that smile, I know I am to.

--00--

The next few days are a blur of bathroom tirps, screaming, begging, moaning, groaning, tantrums, failed atempts at fist fights, and cold floor worship. By all this I mean I was on the ground crying and thanking what ever God was looking out for me at the time for the floor being so cold. I was shakey, I could never make it to the tiled bathroom in time, it was a wonder why I didn't die in a puddle of my own vomitt. I would scream for my drugs when I knew none was in my room, and beg them when they were for just one hit. No dice, they were going to make me suffer. I was constantly nautious, my eyes hur,t my body ached, I had the shakes, I had cold and hot flashes, I was always covered in sweat, grit, and puke. And I was never in a good mood.

At some point I tried to attack someone but failed miserably and ended up in the bathroom hurling up even more fluid I didn't think I had. I continued to wait to see if my socks would come out of my mouth or maybe my shoes. Either way I would not have been the least bit surprised. Then I dragged my sorry ass to the middle of my wood floor and proceeded to beat the living Hell out of said floor with all my strength, which was nothing, I had none.

The next thing I remember is a soft voice and a cold wash cloth brushing over my pounding forehead. I halfway noticed the fact that I was nolonger on the cold hard surface of the floor but I very plushy, soft, plushy, conforting, did I mention plushy?... surface. My bed I presumed and I hummed and fell asleep, feeling a little better. After that I awoke with a slight headache, my stomache actually complaining it was hungry, a new set of clothes on, and a silver tray on my bedside table.

I looked over at it, there was a plate with a sandwitch on it, my favorite I noted, a glass of water and an asprin. I smiled and slowly sat up after my first atempt only made me dizzy and sick to my stomache. Reaching over I grabbed my sandwitch, ate it, and then took my pill, drinking my water. I knew that was the last pill I'd ever see without asking and I proceeded to pick up my tray and noticed a pack of Cigs and a lighter.

'Whoever left me these, I love unconditionally.' I thought to myself grabbing ahold of them.

That's when I realized there was a message taped to the other side of the pack the same size as the container. Turning it over and reading it I almost laughed. So it had been Wufei who did all this for me huh?

The message read:

"Smoking is done outside of the house in the back near the swing. Heero will have it no other way."

Figures, Heero has to have everything a certain way, and what's worse, he probably had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why it had to be there. I proceeded to the floor below, tray in hand, and put them in the kitchen. Then pulled out my cigs and hit the package into my palm until I was outside. It was late evening and a nice warm inviting breeze brushed through the trees above. I would never tire of Earth, so unpredictable, comforting, yet she could unleash the worst fury known to man.

I saw Wufei sitting in the grass, open books, notepads, and an asortment of other utentsils needed for whatever he was working on, a large billowing willow tree behind him. In one hand was a blue pen the other was an overly large cookie of some kind. His hair pulled back in a messy bun of black, an asortment of writing tools stuck in it.

Now there was a word I would have never used to describe anything to do with Change Wufei. Messy, but there he was strands falling out of a half assed bun probably only kept up by the writing tools he had stuck in it. A grey Chinese tunic and pants loosely fell over his frame, giving him a very relaxed look. Small, round, black framed specticals sat on the end of his nose and moved minutely as he chewed a bite of the cookie. His right leg streched out straight the other one tucked into him.

Heero was laying on his back, his head on Wufei's out streached thigh, eyes closed as he took a puff of his cigerette lazily. Blowing it out with the shift of the wind. Wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, furthest leg away from me bent up and the other lay streched out on the grass. His chocolate hair blowing with the light breeze teasingly brushing his cheeks. Flicking his cigerette he held in his right hand he peaked an eye open at me and smiled. Flicking his left hand in a lazy gesture of hello.

For one it was a surprise to see them so care free and relaxed with one another, second of all it was startling how beautiful they looked and they wanted us to join them, thirdly, I never knew Heero smoked. He never struck me as a smoker. I always thought he'd think it was a waste of time and had no point what so ever. I realy thought I was the only one who smoked, and I figured Heero had designated a place for me to do so when he found out I did so.

I walked over and sat down in the green painted bench swing and opened my pack taking one out and slipping it into my mouth. Quickly flicking the lighter flame on and lighting up my wonderful cancer stick. Taking a large puff I sat back against the swing and streched my arms out over the back, looking down at Heero with a lazy smile of my own. It certainly was a great place here.

"So how long Hee-chan?" I asked taking another puff.

"Off and on since the end of the Eve wars, but before the Marimea incedent." Heero replied, and before I could ask Wufei a question. "Don't bother he's cramming for his Advanced Calculous and Sphycology tests he has tomarrow."

Just then wufei reached out and plugged some numbers into his calculater and jotted down his answer. I blinked a couple of times as he deftly handed Heero his ginormous cookie and grabed ahold of his drink, what ever it was, place it back down onto the ground after taking a drink, and then, to my utter surprise, Heero lifted his other hand and gave Wufei his smoke. While Wufei took the job of finishing the smoke Heero broke a piece of the cookie off and offered it to me while he took a large bite out of the half he still had.

I took it while watching Wufei blow smoke out the side of his lips, reaching his hand back far enough to flick the cigerette and not get it on Heero with such grace and practice I found myself in a trance for a moment. Then Heero was chuckling at me, when I realized why I had to laugh as well. I was making a sight out of myself, a huge mouth full of cookie to one cheek side a mound sticking out to that side, staring mezmorized by someone smoking.

"He's been smoking a whole Hell of a lot longer than me. He's the one I bummed a smoke off of during our stay here those few years back."

"Yeah I'd say so." I commented softly as I watched Wufei take a drag and let it out slowly through barely opened lips, flipping a page in his text book with the pen he held. "Can he realy not hear us?"

"No, he will just ignore you until he's done. He's always like this when he neglected to study a head of time."

"Why didn't he study before now?" I asked already knowing the answer but wanting it confermed.

"He was making sure you didn't die. He was with you the whole time. Wouldn't let me in that room for anything. Even after you stopped being sick and he finally got you all cleaned up. Yep, gave you a bath, new change of clothes, put you to bed, stayed up and watched over you until five hours ago. Then he told me to make you a specific sandwitch while he wrote down smoking instructions. Hasn't slept since you arrived." Heero said quietly letting me know exactly how much Wufei sacrificed for me without making me feel like I'd done wrong or that I was stupid.

Heero had changed the most I decided suddenly. Only three years ago he would have glared at me not greet me, he would have yelled at me when he found out I was an addict, then he would have berrated me for comprimising someone elses life, wasting their time. Now... he was serene, understanding, caring and open. I loved it and knew that I would be joining their shared love when I was really ready to. But for now as Wufei had stated, when he showed me my personal roo. I needed some alone time to get confortable with the fact that it was okay to be the true real me.

At that thought I smiled at Heero, then looked up to meet Wufei's eyes and mouthed "Thank you."

A soft smile spread his lips and brightened his usually stern features and he nodded my welcome. I was deffinately ready to finally start being myself here in my Safe Haven, Wufei's Home, and Heero's Peace.

T.B.C.

Author's After Note: Woot! I think that went a whole lot better than I originally thought it would and it is way longer than I ever intended. *sweat drop* But there was so much that had to be revealed this chapter... the chapter lengths before this one pail in comparison. *groan* Though I feel its a little jumpy... I dunno. I hope it doesn't take that long to write the next chapter. I'm still deciding if I want it in Quatre's P.O.V. then Trowa finishes up the story in the last chapter or the other way around. So let me know will you it'd be apreciated alot. Um... R&R everybody I need feed back, I ended up in a funck because I didn't have enough input, I'm kinda making this up as I go.... I have the general idea, you know who has what problem and why. But other than that nadda. I'd like to know what all of you think will happen next... things like that. Thanks again to Admantius for the fanart that helped bunches! I think that's all I have to say. Umm see you next chapter! *Peace sign.*