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The More I Learn to Care For You: Ed's POV	By : squallstorm Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3037 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Roy's
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Chapter
04

Ed frowned at the papers
in his hand. He payed little attention to his surroundings as he
traversed the hallways of Central HQ, trying to sort out a very
pressing matter. Flipping through the small pile, Ed wiggled a sheet
from the rest, placed it on top, and began to mutter to himself as he
studied the page. Shaking his head at his notes, he ran a frustrated
hand though his already messy bangs, and scowled at the paper.

Edward turned down the
hallway on auto-pilot towards the North Central Library. He shuffled
through the stack again and pulled out another sheet of paper,
comparing it to the top most sheet on his notes as he went. He
scowled at the page, and then rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, he stopped
dead, remembering that he had a self-appointed appointment. Ed
pulled on his chain and clicked open his watch. Cursing savagely
under his breath, he spun around, and jogged back the way he had
come.

Sliding
to a stop outside his destination, with a slight skidding of his
boots on the polished floor, Ed quickly tucked the papers in his
black dress coat—which he'd taken to wearing it since it was so
cold outside, and it offered more insulation against the frigid
temperatures. Reaching into his other pocket he took out a pad of
paper and a pencil before approaching the girl working at behind the
switch board desk. His nosy appearance had not gone unnoticed.

“Hey,
ladies, look who's here!” a pretty brunette called over her
shoulder, being the first to notice Edward approach.

“Who?”
asked a small red head, coming around from behind the status board to
see who had come.

“I
wanna see!” a youngish voice called out as well. A buxom
dark-haired woman followed taking in the visitor.

Trying
to fight off the blush that was threatening to sweep across his face,
Ed made his feet move to the desk.

“OH!
Fullmetal! What can we do for you, honey?” the red head
asked, leaning on the counter with her hand and smiling suggestively.
She hooked her finger at him beckoning him closer with a small
smirk.

Smiling
at her nervously, Ed placed his pad on the counter. “Hi...um...I
was wondering if you...ladies...could help me with a project.”

The
brunette leaned into the counter with her hip and smiled. “I
wonder what type of project
he has in mind that would involve three sexy ladies, hmm?”
This sent the other two into twittering laughter, causing Ed to blush
at the innuendo.

“Ooh!
I hope he's going to ask us all to participate,” giggled the
red head.

Ed
laughed mechanically, fighting the desire to run from here, which
would only make it worse.

The
dark-haired woman leaned on the counter with her elbows, framing her
amble assets for him to see. “I bet he likes big girls best,
don't you hot stuff?” she purred suggestively.

“Uh...well,
um, ladies...? I was hoping that you could...um...tell me about some
of Mustang's...” Ed could feel the sweat trickling down his
spine. He was going to die from mortification, he knew it. Damn it!
Bloody fucking Mustang. “What I mean is--”

“Oooh!
Are you going to play a prank on the colonel?” the brunette
asked, suddenly excited.

“Yeah,
the scuttlebutt around base is that you do that quite often,”
the buxom woman said, grinning evilly.

“The
colonel is hot,” the red head said wishfully.

“I
think Fullmetal's pretty hot too,” the brunette said, making
her voice light and teasing as she smiled, leaning over the counter
to tap Ed's nose.

“Uh,
yeah.” Leaping onto their misinterpretation, Ed launched into
his spiel. “So, I wanna know everything about Mustang and what
he does on his dates for my prank.” He picked up his pencil
and looked expectantly at the three woman, who matched his wide grin.
“Where he takes women, what he says...everything.”

Half
an hour later, Ed was making his way back to the library. The women
hadn't reveled anything he hadn't already learned. It seemed that
Roy had not demonstrated any preferences of his own when taking out a
date, preferring to tailor the experience to the person he was
courting at the time. Which meant more work for him. Ed made a
guttural sound, and glared down the hall. Why did Roy have to be so
damn hard to fucking read? This was torture plain and simple, and he
wasn't sure how much longer he could take this.

Making
his way to his usual table in the very back of the library reserved
for alchemists, Ed plopped down in his seat, making the pine chair
creak under his weight. The table's surface was already covered with
his other research; some pertaining to on going research into
clandestine uses for alchemy, and the rest, his investigative work on
Roy. Pulling his papers from his jacket pocket, he began to try and
sort out a pattern that might give him a clue about what Roy would
want for a date. Not as easy a task as he first thought.

Leaning
heavily on the table top with his elbows, Ed cradled his head in his
hands. Staring at his papers, he thrust out his bottom lip. Three
weeks of Roy avoiding him and sending him bizarre signals that he
didn't know what to make of, plus lack of sex was starting to make
him rush to finalize his plans. He couldn't stand another week of
this hell. He only hoped that Roy's strange behavior wasn't an
indication of his waning interest in him.

Leaning
on the table he began to draw a digram of all the similar things Roy
had done in the past. Suddenly, a pair of hands blocked out the
library and its surroundings.

“HOLY
FUCKING SHIT!” cursed Ed, jumping in fright, making the table
rattle as his thighs bounced off of it. His hands flew up to pull at
the arms, and he twisted in his chair to see who startled him so
badly. Roy's grinning face hovered over him.

With
a flick of the wrist, Roy reversed Ed's hold on him and pulled Ed
around in the chair so that his back pressed against the edge of the
table awkwardly. Ed's eyes widened as Roy claimed his lips in a
demanding kiss, leaving Ed to try and keep up.

“Roy?”
mumbled Ed around Roy's mouth.

“I
didn't know you liked it rough...” murmured Roy.

Ed
yanked his hands away from Roy's grasp, and at the same time tried to
push him away. He didn't want Roy to see his notes! Smirking at
him, Roy reached down to quickly fondle his groin before moving away.
Fuck,
Roy is such a bloody tease,
cursed Ed, his groin twitching at the promise of more satisfying
relief.

“I
see you're working hard as usual. I have some papers that need to be
gone through too. Perhaps while you're at it...”

Spinning
around in the chair, Ed swept all his notes together in one large
messy pile, constantly throwing looks over his shoulder to make sure
Roy wasn't peeking at what he'd been working on. “Sure,
sure...” Ed said absentmindedly, trying to get his breathing
under control. “Um, place them over there,” He pointed
vaguely at the other end of the table.

“I
was just joking, Ed,” said Roy, chuckling. “I'd never
have you do my work...”

Ed's
heart skipped a beat when Roy leaned down to kiss the side of his
ear, sending another jolt of expectation to his groin.

“What
are you working on? You're usually not so easily surprised and
flustered.” Ed looked up to see Roy leaning over his shoulder
at the table below.

“Nothing!
Who said I was working on anything?” Ed lunged forward,
huddling over his work to hide it from Roy. He moved any piece of
paper that was still sticking out further under his arms. “What
are you doing here? Skipping out on work? I'm busy here!”
snapped Ed, he could feel his face heat up and spread across his
cheeks and up to his ears. He shrugged Roy off his shoulder, hoping
that he wouldn't question him too closely as to why he was blushing
so hard.

“I'm
not...skipping
out on work...just...taking a break. You know we do get breaks.”

Ed
watched warily as Roy moved over to the other side of the table and
pulled out a chair to sit on. Feeling decidedly safer now that Roy
wasn't hovering over him, he tapped the papers into a neat pile.

“Hakuro
seems to think that I have all the time in the world to work on some
of the pointless things he sends my way.”

“That
sucks...” answered Ed, distracted with his own problems.
Mainly, what to do about this date. Flipping over the stack of
'Mustang' research, he picked up a heavy looking book and placed it
on top. “So, what did you want?” wondered Ed glancing at
Roy before running a hand through his bangs and sagging in his chair.
It was easier to be around his boyfriend knowing that he wouldn't
see what he was working on.

“That's
not anything illegal is it?”

Ed
snorted at the ridiculousness of Roy's concern. “No,”
said Ed in annoyance, shooting a glare at Roy. “But I am busy,
so...” he trailed off, quirking an eyebrow at Roy in a silent
demand to hurry up and get to the point. Actually, he was feeling
the all too familiar stirrings from Roy's nearness, and it was making
him...squirmy.

Like,
why would Roy fondle his groin, and then turn around and say he was
busy? Kiss him like he had just done, and then get all business like
on him. For the past three weeks this strange behavior had begun to
really play with his mind, and he couldn't think of a good way to
broach the subject. It was really starting to make him worry.

Roy
was giving him 'the look', like he didn't believe a word he was
saying, and began to shake his head at him. Leaning forward so Roy
couldn't see what he was doing he adjusted himself so he was in a
more comfortable position, as his groin slowly twitched to life. He
watched as Roy reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of
paper and unfolded it.

“I
need you to do some research on this, and report to me on it in a
week. I need an official written report, and you should be ready to
give an oral report if General Hakuro should request it.”

“Great.”
Ed leaned over the table and took the paper from Roy, looking down
at the research he had to do. “Are we done?” Ed asked
anxiously, looking back up at Roy. He wanted to calm down and he
couldn't do that with him so near.

Roy
frowned at him and then glanced over at his stash under the book.
His eyes slid back over to him and he nodded. Ed could only hope
that he wouldn't push the issue. He'd die if Roy saw what he'd been
up too. He knew how'd he react if he found out Roy was researching
him—not like he hadn't done something like that already, seeing
as how he seemed to know what he was up too when ever he was out in
the field, but this was a different. Roy pushed himself up from the
chair, and folded his arms across his chest, giving Ed a suspicious
glance. Ed met his gaze and had to resist the urge to shift guiltily
in his chair.

Shaking
his head, Roy waved casually and walked away. Sighing, Ed lifted the
book off his research, and began to shift through his paper. They
were most likely horribly mixed up now, and he would have to spend
fifteen minutes restoring order to his work. Feeling grumpy now that
Roy had caused him a minor set back, he placed his work on the table.

“Oh,
and Ed...”

“Eep!”
Shit!
cursed Ed. Did
he see?
His back went rigid and he couldn't bring himself to turn to look at
Roy, hoping against hope that he wasn't over his shoulder right now.

“Okay...
What the hell are you working on?”

“Fuck
off!” hissed Ed, gathering up his research to his chest.
Scrambling to get out of his chair, Ed turned, keeping an eye on Roy
as he backed away from him. “This isn't for you!” warned
Ed, blushing full force now, not realizing the slip. Roy scowled at
him.

“Ed,
let me see those,” Roy said, holding out his hand for the
papers. He advanced on Ed forcing him to move back or else be in
range should Roy strike.

“NO!”
Ed yelled, thrusting the papers behind his back. “If you come
any closer...I'll...I'll hit you.” Feeling truly frantic, Ed
backed his way into the corner. He didn't want to hit Roy, but he
wasn't giving him any options here, and there was no way in FUCKING
HELL he was going to show Roy what he'd been up too, it was just too
fucking embarrassing.

Roy
stopped, surprised, and then scowled at him. “Major, I'm
ordering you to hand over those papers.” Roy paused, “Now.”

“No!
I won't!” Ed said again, shaking his head so hard that his
braid moved with him. He glared at Roy definitely. He'd follow
through; he would hit Roy if he had to.

Roy
suddenly laughed, breaking the tension just a little. Ed watched him
warily, wondering what he was up too.

“Come
on, hand them over,” said Roy waving impatiently with his hand,
still chuckling.

Pressing
his lips, Ed did the only other thing he could think of. Rolling up
the papers once more, he thrust them into his black jacket, quickly
clapped his hands and touched his jacket making it momentarily
shimmer.
Smirking
up at Roy in victory, Ed said, “What papers?”

“Not
amusing, Fullmetal. You know that is defying a direct order from
your superior officer,” said Roy irritably, letting his hand
drop back to his side.

Ah,
fuck!
cursed Ed mentally. He hadn't thought about that. Shifting weight
from foot to foot, Ed frowned, trying to think of a way out of this
without having to show his notes. “It has nothing to do with
you...er.” Damn, why don't I just tell him what I'm doing?
Stupid.
“...With the military. Just drop it...please.”

Roy
rubbed a hand over his forehead and then just stared at him.
Maybe...he could get out of this. “Just let it go, Mustang.
Go back to work before Hawkeye finds you. You're...distracting me,”
said Ed, shifting again in growing arousal. He dropped his eyes to
the floor, no longer able to look Roy in the eyes. In those dark,
dark eyes...

Ed's
eyes went round as he saw Roy's feet come closer to him, making his
heart beat faster in anticipation. He sensed Roy lean in and he
looked up into Roy's face, breathless.

“I
have a legitimate reason for begin here,” said Roy, leaning in
to place a kiss along Ed's ear, causing pleasant shivers to tingle
throughout his body. “I'm sorry that you're easily
distracted,” whispered Roy. “Perhaps we should have a
discussion about this in my office...”

Roy
seemed to consider him for a moment before he pulled away, making Ed
feel the loss of his closeness acutely.

“But
that will have to be another day,” Roy said in business mode
now. “Okay, Fullmetal, I'll let it drop for now, but it better
not be something I'm going to have to cover your ass for later.”

“You
like covering my ass,” Ed said saucily, smirking at Roy. He
was feeling very naughty right now, and only hoped that Roy would be
too...because any more of this and...well, Ed wasn't sure what he'd
do, but this couldn't last.

Roy
quirked an eyebrow at him, and the corner of his mouth twitched as if
he was fighting not to smile. “Some types of ass covering are
better then others,” he conceded.

Pushing
himself away from the wall he was leaning against with his shoulder,
Ed pressed his own very acutely aroused body into Roy's. Grabbing
Roy's ass he made sure that there was no space between them. His
heart was beating so fast now, that he was sure that it would burst
through his chest. “You could cover it...tonight...”
whispered Ed.

Sighing
heavily, Roy backed away from Ed, breaking his hold on him. Ed let
his hands fall heavily back to his side and leaned back into the
wall, frowning at the man in front of him. What
the fuck...Ed
wondered. It was things like this that made him really, really
wonder what the hell was going on in Roy's head.

“Sorry
I'm busy tonight... Maybe another night...?”

“Yeah...sure...”
said Ed uncertainly. He tried to make his face as neutral as
possible. “Whatever you say,” he said in growing
annoyance. Brushing past Roy, he re-claimed his seat and folded his
arms across his chest. From the corner of his eye, Ed could see Roy
pull out his watch and click open the cover to check the time.

“I'd
better go. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes. Give me a call
sometime, or something, and maybe we can get together, Ed.”

Ed
would not look at Roy as he crossed over to him to place a kiss on
the top of his head, and without saying anything else, left.
Listening to the retreating sound of Roy's boots, Ed began to breathe
heavily, but this time in anger. What else could Roy be up to if not
sleeping around on him? This 'successful' date thing was likely a
ploy to keep him around and willing while he was out playing the
bloody fucking field!

All
the bizarre push/pull mind games Roy was doing to him...what other
explanation was there? Furiously, Ed clapped his hands and touched
his jacket undoing the transmutation, pulling out the papers he'd
fought so hard to keep hidden; he suddenly didn't want to have
anything to do with them.

He
had wasted days on this. DAYS! His stomach twisted in fear, making
him feel sick and nauseous. Frowning at the papers, Ed abruptly
stood, causing the chair to scrape across the floor. Walking over to
the small trash can at the other end of the room, Ed let the papers
fall from his hand to land how ever they would.

“Asshole!”
mumbled Ed, walking away with his hands deep in his pants pockets.

- - - -

Ed was in a proper rage,
just like when he was younger. It almost felt as good as a night of
awesome sex, being this angry. He was charged up. He felt powerful.
He felt like nothing could hurt him, and nothing would, he'd make
sure of that. He'd been so angry that he couldn't get to sleep at
all, so he'd spent his time working on the report for Mustang.

After he left the
library yesterday, early in the day, he had paced the city trying to
sort out what was going to happen with them. That unfamiliar spark
of fear continued to plague him, and even though he hadn't eaten
since lunch, his stomach rebelled at the mere thought of food. It
came and went, the fear, but when it came hard, the pain it caused to
his stomach was bad. It would double him up, making him clutch at
his belly in agony.

By the time he waltzed
back to his dorm room, he was tired of being afraid and had started
to get mad. Somewhere in the wee hours of the night, after working
on the report, Ed had decided that he wasn't going to call Roy by his
first name anymore. He was going to be as cool as Ro—Mustang
was being to him. It was probably a pretty childish thing to do, but
he really didn't feel up to being reasonable. He had even come in
late for work, not that anyone had truly noticed, as he was still
pretty independent when it came to being here, but still, it felt
good to stay at home and make his silent protest.

Adjusting the folder to
rest more firmly under his left arm, Ed glared at anyone who'd dare
look at him. It gave him inordinate amounts of pleasure to see the
hapless people he locked eyes with turn quickly away. He liked that.
A lot.

Rounding the corner, Ed
stalked up the hall toward Mustang's offices. He'd come at this time
on purpose because he really didn't want to run into any of his staff
just in case he started hitting Mustang. Not that he had specific
plans on hitting him, but if the need arose... Everyone would be on
lunch except for Mustang, who usually waited until later to eat, the
perfect time.

Just as he hoped, the
office was empty of any of Mustang's staff. Stomping over to the
door, Ed kicked as hard as he could, sending the barely open door
crashing into the wall with a loud ringing bang. Despite all the
noise, Mustang didn't even look up. Fucking...dammit! Ed's stomach
squirmed in protest at the sight of him sitting behind his desk.

“Good
morning, Fullmetal. In a good mood today, I see...”

Rage surged through him
anew, making him unable to form a reply. Without a word, Ed stomped
over to the desk and threw down the report haphazardly. As he spun
around on the heel of his foot, he mumbled, “Fuck off...”

“Wait,”
Mustang said using his commanding voice.

Sighing with exaggerated
annoyance, Ed stopped. “What?” he demanded, not
bothering to turn around to look. Paper shuffled behind him.

“What
is this?”

“Your
report,” Ed practically spat at the man, his voice hard with
anger.

“Obviously.”
Ed's eyes narrowed at the sneer he could hear in Mustang's voice.
“But it isn't due for a week.”

Oh, how Ed wanted to
yell at Mustang and demand to know that the hell was going on with
them, but he was much too pissed to actually act on that particular
thought at the moment.

“This
is a research
report, Fullmetal. I don't care how smart you are, these things take
time. This is...” Papers shuffled. “Very sloppy work.
I'm not giving that to the general. You're going to have to redo
it.”

Snarling, Ed pivoted and
swiftly traversed the distance to Mustang's desk to snatch the folder
up from where it was placed. “Fine,” he growled. He
briefly met Mustang's gaze, giving him a sour look, and then he was
heading back for the door again.

“Wait,”
Mustang said, again with his commanding tone of voice.

Ed stopped, silently
berating himself for obeying. He could hear Mustang's chair scrape
along the floor, and he soon walked into his peripheral vision making
for the door. Ed followed his movements warily as Mustang closed the
door and leaned against it with folded arms, blocking his path.

“What's
going on?” Mustang asked quietly.

Meeting
Mustang's stare with one of his own, Ed clench his jaw, making his
teeth grind. “Is there anything else, Colonel
Mustang?” Ed poured all his contempt into Mustang's title,
leaving little room for doubt on where he stood. Only an idiot would
have missed the implications, and luckily Mustang wasn't an idiot.

Mustang met his gaze for
several moments, his expression unreadable before he moved away from
the door. “No, I guess not. Dismissed,” he said moving
back to his desk.

For a moment, Ed could
only stand there. He was hoping for a fight and Mustang wasn't going
to play that way with him it seemed. He almost turned around...to do
what, he wasn't sure. Glancing over his shoulder, at the man sitting
behind the desk, Ed's anger left him, making him feel vulnerable and
allowing his gut to twist painfully. Facing forward again, Ed made
his feet move out of the office.

Somehow, without his
knowing how he got there, Ed was out on the street standing in front
of a public phone. The desire to call his brother in Rizembool was
almost to much to bear. He hadn't talked to Al in a while now.
Truth be told, he didn't want to intrude. Now that Al had his body
back, a romance had started between him and Winry. He knew that
marriage couldn't be that far now... Turning away from the phone, Ed
continued down the street, wondering aimlessly.

It was times like this
when he wished for someone he could turn too for advice. He'd never
bring his concerns to anyone within the military. That left his
teacher, Al, and maybe a few others, all of whom weren't even in
Central at the moment.

As
the early dusk started to settle over Central, and the cold started
to make his auto-mail ache painfully, Ed made his slow way back to
the military dorms for the night. He passed a few delis on his way
home, but the thought of eating turned his stomach. He knew he
should eat something, and soon, because he hadn't eaten since
yesterday at lunch... Shaking his head, Ed moved on. Fuck
it,
he thought. He just wasn't up to eating right now. He'd get
something tomorrow.

Dragging himself up the
front steps of the dorm, Ed trudged down the hall to his room,
closing the door firmly behind him. He shivered with the clinging
cold that hung around his clothing. He knew he should take a shower
to warm up, easing the strain on his muscles from his auto-mail;
instead, he kicked off his boots, dropped his coat to the floor, and
crawled under the blankets fully clothed.

--To be continued--

Don't forget to check
out Roy's POV written by ZaKai.
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The More I Learn to Care For You: Ed's POV