All I Want For Christmas Is You

*Title*: All I Want For Christmas Is You
*Author*: WhipOfLightHeartOfSword
Rating: PG (Sorry guys, no lemon this time around. Just WAFF. The juicy, naughty stuff's being saved for the sequel. ^_~)
*Timeline*: The little blurb at the beginning takes place just before Trieze was killed by the mobile dolls. It's been some time since I've watched the series, even more so since I've seen Endless Waltz, since I don't own a copy of it. So, I kinda threw cannon to the wind and made the timeline suit my purposes. I forget everyone's age in cannon when all was said and done, so I'm simply going to guess and say the pilots were 19, which puts them all at 23 in this fic. Treize I've settled on as being 32 years old.
*Feedback*: Of course!! Constructive criticiscm only, though. NO FLAMES.

A/N: Oh boy am I tired. I almost waited until morning to post this, but then again my family's trying to get me to go away with them for New Years, so I really can't afford to fall behind on any more updates. Okay, I'm going to stop babbling before I pass out and let you get on with the chapter.

~*~Part 4~*~

Quatre sighed as he made his way downstairs to break the bad news to his friends and lover. Random mishaps aside, the past week had been truly awesome, and he was loath to tell Trowa that it would have to be disrupted.

But it couldn’t be helped. It was already after six, and the ‘copter was picking him up at 9, so there really wasn’t much time to mope about.

In the main room of the cabin, the other four ex-pilots sat sprawled on the couches around the fireplace, which was roaring merrily. Trowa in particular was hogging the loveseat, saving him a spot for when he joined them. Heero and Duo were spread out on the couch, lying in each other’s arms, half asleep by the looks of it. And Wufei was curled with his book alone on the third couch.

Trowa looked up at his entrance and smiled, holding out his arms for the blonde to come join him. Quatre grinned and willingly sank into the warm embrace.

Wufei watched them discreetly from his perch across the room. Jealousy poked at him as the blonde tucked his head under Trowa’s chin, and Trowa leaned back just far enough to drop a kiss into his lover’s golden hair.

His eyes shifted to the other couch, and to Heero and Duo. Heero was lying partially on top of Duo, and the braided man had their foreheads pressed together as he wrapped his arm around his lover’s neck and ran his fingers repeatedly through his hair.

A pang struck his heart seeing this. Treize had convinced him once to let his hair loose, and he’d found it enjoyable beyond any expectations he’d ever had to lie in his boyfriend’s arms and have his hair petted and finger combed, and his scalp massaged.

He’d tried to ensconce himself away in his room today, or go off and hide from the others. Tonight was the fourth anniversary of Treize’s death, and he wanted nothing more than to go find a shrine and pray like he always did, and then go home and cry himself to sleep.

But there was nothing like that up here, and no opportunity to sneak away, the others had made sure of that. And as for trying to hide himself away to mourn, well, the others hadn’t let him do that either. And for the sake of them not finding out about his secret love, he’d been forced to put on the strongest mask he’d ever forged and pretend everything was just as fine and dandy as it had always been.

While inside all he wanted to do was die and join the one person he’d ever loved. He wouldn’t actually do that, but he could certainly wish for it.

His sorrowful reverie was broken by Quatre addressing Trowa.

“Trowa? I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“What’s wrong, my love?” Trowa leaned back so that he could see Quatre’s face when he spoke.

“Lady Une called, while I was upstairs. Apparently one of the other team’s missions has hit a snag, and they need me to help them rework their strategy. She’s sending a helicopter for me tonight, and supposedly I’ll be back Christmas Eve,” Quatre explained.

Trowa frowned. How could she do that? Christmas Eve was the day after tomorrow, and depending on what the problem was, there was no guarantee they would be able to let Quatre go before then. Not to mention it had started snowing hard about an hour ago, and wasn’t showing signs of letting up. According to the weather forecast, it was supposed to storm like that throughout the next three days, so even if Quatre did get done in time to be back for Christmas, there was no guarantee he would be able to get back through the storm.

He voiced these concerns, as the other three listened, wearing their own frowns.

“I’m sorry, Tro, but it can’t be helped,” Quatre said miserably.

“It would have to be something big, for her to call one of us back after declaring us on leave,” Wufei spoke up. And more than just a snag if she was calling for Quatre in particular. He was the best of them as far as tactics went, and if it was anything less she probably would have called for him instead, since he didn’t have a significant other to leave behind.

That thought sent another bitter wave of pain through him.

Trowa pursed his lips, not at all pleased. For a moment he sat there as if trying to come to a decision on something, before disengaging himself from Quatre’s arms and getting off the loveseat.

“Trowa?” Quatre’s voice squeaked a bit, as if he were afraid his lover was angry with him for having to leave.

Trowa turned back and bent down, kissing the small Arab on the nose. “It’s okay, I’ll be right back. I just have to get something.”

With that he left the room, taking the stairs two at a time up to his and Quatre’s room. The other four watched after him curiously, wondering at his behavior.

He came back a moment later, with something small and black in his hand. Everyone watched him curiously as he stood in front of Quatre, expression giving away the fact that he was nervous as hell. “I was going to wait until Christmas, but I refuse to loose my chance if you don’t get back in time.

Quatre was about to ask what the hell was going on, when Trowa suddenly lowered himself down onto one knee.

He took Quatre’s hand into his and took a deep breath before beginning.

“Oh my god…” Duo whispered, and was promptly hushed by Heero. Wufei sat frozen, completely taken by surprise.

“Quatre, I love you. And the last five years of being with you have been the best of my life. Hell, if it wasn’t for you, I very likely wouldn’t have a life right now.”

Quatre sniffed, breath hitching as Trowa continued.

“But it’s not enough. I want more than to be just your boyfriend. I want to know that you’ll be with me always. That we’ll spend the rest of our lives together, loving, growing, sharing everything.

By now, Quatre had tears running down his cheeks.

Trowa took one last deep breath, and took the plunge.

“Quatre Raberba Winner,” he brought the small velvet box up and flipped it open, offering his love the contents. “Will you marry me?”

Quatre gasped almost painfully. He couldn’t see through the tears and had to bury his head in his hands for a moment to scrub the moisture away. When he looked up again, Trowa was looking at him worriedly. He grinned and nodded, launching himself at his new fiancé. “Yes! Oh my god, Trowa. Yes!!”

The two laughed and hugged each other in a death grip, breaking apart only so Trowa could slip the ring, a platinum band, onto Quatre’s finger.

“Congratulations, you guys,” Duo was grinning like an idiot. Heero smiled at them as well. “About time, Trowa.”

While everyone’s attention was on the newly engaged couple, Wufei got up from his couch and started making his way quietly to the door. He was happy for them, truly he was, but the pain that touching scene had just brought was threatening to undo him.

“Congratulations,” he said, while he was still able to sound at least a little normal. Then he walked towards the stairs, intending to lock himself away in his room for the rest of the night. He’d done his best to put his grieving aside and stay with his friends, but watching that brought the grief rushing freshly through his system.

Treize hadn’t gone down on his knee, when he’d made his own proposal to him on that very same night, four years ago, but he’d been so happy to know the other man wanted more, just like he did. Even in the face of all the hell they were almost sure to get if they weren’t careful. And then, they’d been thrown into combat with one another not a few hours later, and he’d been forced to watch his lover die at the hands of traitors.

Seeing Quatre and Trowa together, as much as he truly was happy for them, just served to taunt him with what might have been.

He might have had someone to rebuild his life with, when the fighting was done. He might have had someone with which to love and cherish the peace they’d achieved. He might have had everything he’d never had with Nataku.

But not now, and it was tearing him apart on the inside. Anger mixed with the grief. Why? Why should Quatre and Trowa get to have their happy ending, and he had to keep suffering, as though the end of the war had never come? Nothing had changed. He was still hiding, still unable to live a normal life, still fighting. Still alone.

He had to get out of there. No matter how unfair life had been to him, Trowa and Quatre weren’t to blame. Whatever happiness they could get, they deserved. And he had to make certain he didn’t let the wounds of his past mar their special moment.

“Hey, ‘Fei! Where’re ya going?”

“To my room, Maxwell,” he replied sharply, not turning around to keep them from seeing the anguish in his eyes.

Duo narrowed his eyes at the back of the Chinese agent. Something was up, and he’d be damned if he let one of Wufei’s pissier attitudes ruin Quatre and Trowa’s moment. Wufei might hate sappy, tender moments, but honestly, couldn‘t he just suck it up and deal with it for once? Especially for two of his best friends. Indignation took over, and the braided ex-pilot gave voice to that very thought. “What’s wrong, can’t stand to see a little love and affection? Get over yourself Wufei, it’s not a crime to show someone you care about them. You’d know that if you weren’t so stuck up and cold. Honestly, no wonder you’re still alone. But regardless of your incapacity in that area, don’t ruin it for Quat and Tro. They deserve to be happy and show it right now.”

That was it. The straw that broke the camel’s back.

Anguish tore through him like a shot from one of Wing Zero’s buster rifles. Was that what they thought? That he wasn’t able to love or be loved? Wufei spun around, to see the glare Duo leveled in his direction, and the emotionless, scrutinizing stare of Heero. Trowa and Quatre had also come down from their high to notice the confrontation going on, and were watching him curiously too.

His eyes rested on Duo, as the braided man’s look turned to one of confusion when he saw the tears running freely down Wufei’s face.

All of the control and restraint he’d held over his grief shattered, and he choked back a sob.

“You don’t know shit, Maxwell!” he cried, and whirled away. Fuck going to his room, he was getting out of that cabin, and away from them all.

Not bothering with coat or gloves, he flung the front door open, and disappeared into the swirling snow outside.

Duo just stared at the open door, shocked. Did he just see what he thought he did?

Suddenly Quatre cried out and clutched at his chest, collapsing in Trowa’s arms. Because he’d been so focused on his own happiness and his fiancé, he hadn’t felt anything out of the ordinary. But now that he was no longer distracted, his empathy was getting the full brunt of Wufei’s emotional turmoil.

“Quatre!” Trowa yelped.

“Oh my god. Something’s wrong,” he gasped, huddling into his lover for comfort.

“I’ll say,” Duo said.

Quatre shook his head. “No I mean something’s really wrong. We have to go after him, he’s not thinking and he could hurt himself.”

“Do you know what it is, Quatre,” Heero asked, not understanding fully the whole situation and wanting to know more if he could before racing out after the other pilot.

“I don’t know the cause, but Wufei’s in so much pain. He’s suffering, badly. It feels like what I felt when I thought I’d killed Trowa.”

“Then let’s go out there and find him before he freezes to death,” Trowa said. He asked the smaller blonde in his arms, “Can you stand?”

“Yes, it’s getting better now that ‘Fei’s further away.”

“Maybe you should stay here,” Heero walked over to the closet and retrieved his and Duo’s coats. “Your ride’s going to be here soon and you have to be ready to go.”

“But—” he was cut off from continuing by Trowa’s finger on his lips, hushing him.

“He’s right, Quat. You need to be ready to leave so you can get finished and get back in time for Christmas,” Trowa smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. “We’ll find him, you just concentrate on getting to headquarters and getting your job done.

Quatre sighed, not happy about having to leave his friend in such a state of distress. But he couldn’t fault their logic.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” he sighed.

“Good,” Trowa gave him a real kiss this time, which made Quatre feel immensely better. “You go pack and be ready when they come for you. We’ll get Wufei and figure out what’s wrong. We’ll call you when we find him.”

“Thanks, Trowa. Love you,” Quatre hugged the Latin one more time, before he let him go so he could get his coat and join Heero and Duo who were waiting at the door. Duo handed him a flashlight and a tracer, Heero having attached one to the house so they could find each other and their way back in the storm.

“Love you too, Quat,” Trowa called as they left. “See you soon.”

Then they were gone, rapidly filling footprints the only evidence of their passing.

Quatre shut the door and ran up the steps to his and Trowa’s room. He packed what he would need for two days, and went back downstairs to wait for his ride.

Not too long after, there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find the ‘copter’s copilot waiting for him.

“Let’s go, the weather’s just good enough that we can make it out of here, but that’s not going to last long. We’re taking you back to headquarters, and you’re going to be put up there. The roads are supposedly beyond nasty and Une doesn’t want anyone traveling on them until they’ve cleared up a bit.”

“Okay,” Quatre hefted his duffle and followed the man out into the blizzard, making sure the door was shut behind him.

***

It was freezing cold and almost impossible to see anything. But Wufei didn’t care. He just kept running. Away from the pain, away from the loneliness, away from everything.

Tears blurred his vision, falling unchecked. He was done with trying to hide his grief. He just wanted to forget the pain, to forget everything.

Unbeknownst to him, the mountain stream that intersected the road to the cabin was directly in his path. Had he been able to see where he was going, he’d have angled his flight to take him over the tiny bridge that spanned it. As it was, he neither saw, nor cared, and so was taken completely by surprise when the ground suddenly dipped sharply, and he went down. Feet sliding out from underneath him on the half-frozen mud, he somersaulted and rolled a short ways before hitting the water and breaking the thin layer of ice covering it.

Fortunately for him it was shallow, and he came up sputtering and gasping at the hellish cold that assaulted him. But he couldn’t find it in himself to get up. Crawling through the icy liquid, he huddled against the bricks of the bridge’s underside, drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t live without Treize. It just wasn’t fair. He’d found happiness only for it to be taken from him. Had started to live again only to be proverbially shot down. And now he got to watch his friends have everything he no longer could, while he was condemned to live out his days alone. A wraith amongst his fellows, and they didn’t even know it.

They deserved their happiness; that he would never dispute. But was it so much to ask that he get to have some of his own?

Tired, cold, and still sobbing hysterically, Wufei huddled in the freezing water, unheeding of what the elements could do to him.

Truly, he no longer cared.

***

“Man, I can’t believe you managed to get yourself lost. We’re supposed to be finding Wufei, not each other,” Trowa said as they continued the search for their missing friend.

“Heh, not my fault I dropped the tracer when I slipped. What I’d like to know is why the hell Heero even packed them in the first place,” Duo shot back.

“Because I’m precognitive,” Heero quipped.

Duo snorted. “Yea right. You’re paranoid and we all know it. You can’t stand the thought of not bringing at least some mission gear with you wherever you go.”

“Hey, it’s proving its usefulness now,” Heero stated as they circled back towards the house.

The three ex-pilots had been out searching for their missing friend for the better part of three or four hours, which had been interrupted when Duo had slipped and lost his tracer in the snow. It was by sheer luck they’d managed to find him.

Now sometime after midnight, the three were really beginning to fear for their Chinese friend if he was still out there. With no coat or gloves, and only wearing those Chinese slippers that wouldn’t do shit against the cold, he was risking severe hypothermia and frostbite.

“We should look over by the stream next. He could have made for the road,” Trowa suggested.

“God help him if he slipped and hit the water,” Duo muttered, a dark foreboding shuddering through him.

Heero felt the same. “Let’s look by the bridge. He’d have to cross it; maybe he’s on the bank.”

With the house as their reference point, and the snowfall hitting a lull, the three located the bridge soon enough and fanned out, looking for any evidence Wufei had been there.

Duo was the first to find the skid marks from Wufei’s slide down the bank. With the mud not frozen yet the snow hadn’t been able to cover them completely.

“Well, he was definitely here,” Duo muttered.

Carefully they descended down until they were at the water’s edge.

“Well he did fall in, and he’s probably soaked,” Heero said, eyeing the broken ice. “That’s just going to make this worse.”

“Much worse,” Trowa agreed. He swung his flashlight up the other bank. It was undisturbed, which meant that if ‘Fei had tried to climb out it wasn’t there. While Duo and Heero swung their flashlights back and forth and resumed calling for him, Trowa stood still for a moment and tried to think as he thought Wufei would.

If he was hurting emotionally, and trying to get away from people… suddenly an idea struck him, and he swung his light around to illuminate the bridge.

He moved forward and played the light under the bridge.

His hunch paid off as it flashed over a muddied, unmoving form.

“WUFEI!!” he yelled. “Guys, over here!”

Reaching the huddled body of his friend, Trowa gently tried to get a response from Wufei’s motionless form.

“Wufei? Can you hear me?”

Carefully he eased the smaller man’s head up off his knees, only to see dazed and barely conscious black eyes staring at him. They were red and puffy. Obviously he had cried hard until he could cry no more.

“Oh, Wufei,” he whispered. Trowa turned to Heero and Duo, who crouched beside him, concern etched all over their features.

“We need to get him out of here,” Heero said. He lifted one of Wufei’s hands. “He’s got at least mild frostbite, and he’s obviously hypothermic.”

“I’ll carry him. Just help me up the bank,” Trowa said.

Heero nodded. Together they managed to get out of the streambed without incident, and then the race was on to get Wufei back to the house and thawed out.

~*~TBC...~*~

A/N: Well, I'm just going to cut straight to the reviewer response:

To Kurai: ROTFL. Of course Lady Une's not just going to call him back nd give him the easy way out. Where would the fun be in that? For her or for us, I mean. Lol, don't worry, she's not going to beat around the bush. She was never one to do that in the series, and working with the Preventers isn't likely to have changed that. I'm glad you're enjoying this so much, though. Glad to brighten your day ^_^.

Meh, I'm passing out, so I'm going to say goodnight to all, and once again thank everyone for reading, and please remember to review! Next update will be here later tonight.

~Whip~