It Wasn't Anything

Chapter 4

Breaking Barriers

Ed sat with Al while he ate, talking mostly of superficial things. There was no way Ed was going to let Al know what was going on between him and the Colonel. He could tell Al was suspicious about the previous nights activities by his fishing comments. But thankfully he’d stood firm and hadn’t offered any information.

After lunch, Ed made his way over to the library. He found some interesting books relating to the Philosophers stone and tried to bury himself in the pages. His mind wondered. Daydreams and fantasies kept pushing their way in. At times he laid his head on the library table and closed his eyes, trying to erase any thought at all from his tortured mind. Within a few hours, his fantasies got the best of him. His compulsion to see Mustang had grown into a fulltime fixation. Rising from his chair at the table, he paced back and forth, glaring at the library door, willing it to lock him in.

The door opened and Havoc walked in.

Ed stopped walking a ditch in the carpet and watched while the tall blond threw a cigarette to the tile floor of the entrance and stomped on it.

Havoc's eyes scanned the room, resting squarely on Ed.

Ed quickly sat back down in his chair and held up his book, realizing the lieutenant was approaching him.

“Hey, Fullmetal, Colonel wants to see you.” Havoc shifted his feet, waiting for a reply.

Ed’s heart lurched. He struggled to hide his distress. The book in his hands started to shake, so he let it drop to the table with a thud. He struggled to form words. “O-okay.” Ed didn't dare chance a direct look at the man standing in front of him.

“Damn, Ed, you all right?” Havoc sounded genuinely concerned.

Ed cleared his throat before glancing up at Havoc. “I’m fine," he said. “Tell him I’ll be up in a few minutes.” His voice was firm and sharp. He had to get a grip on himself before he went to Mustangs office.

“Uh, okay, but he said for me to tell you it’s urgent. He wanted me to walk you up,” Havoc said, like it was a completely normal request.

Ed clenched his fists under the table and reluctantly got up. He walked around the table and followed Havoc to Mustangs office, feeling his distress give way to impossible yearning the closer they got to their destination.

Ed strode through the Roy's office door and was stung by butterflies, flittering in his stomach, at the sight of Roy leaning back on the front of his desk, looking stunning. His blue military uniform impeccable, his dark hair perfectly jumbled across his forehead, long enough to partially hide the enigmatic dark eyes below. Sighing, Ed chastised himself for acting like a lovesick fangirl.

Mustang nodded a dismissal to the saluting Havoc. “Fullmetal, close the door.” He had a smug grin on his face.

Ed did as he was told, feeling his flesh palm start to sweat and a familiar arousal start to take hold of him.

“Now, lock it.”

Anticipation almost killed Ed while he turned the lock on the door and heard the click of the tumbler. Licking his lips, he turned around. For a moment, he searched his intellect, waiting for his awful conscience to start berating him. But it never came. Funny how it only presented itself when he was outside of the Colonel’s presence.

Mustang strolled up behind Ed as he locked the door. As soon as Ed’s body was turned toward him, Roy clutched his shoulders and gave him a hungry kiss. He’d been waiting all day to taste those lips and he wouldn’t be denied. “Oh God, Ed, I want you so badly,” Roy whispered, as soon as he was able to drag his mouth away for a second.

Ed was shocked, but only for a moment. Reaching his arms around the Colonel’s waist, he pulled Roy with brute force toward him, matching the Colonel's desire with his own. Any sense of self-control he’d wanted to assume was nonexistent. Shoving the Colonel to the wall, Ed maintained a stream of steady kisses and nips on Roy's mouth and neck, hastily unbuttoning Roy’s military jacket and shirt as he went.

Mustang’s back slammed wall of his office with a thump as the crazed blond ran his hands up under his now-open shirt. Their hips met and Roy felt delicious friction as Ed ground himself into the Colonel, twisting and moaning. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Did he accidentally fall asleep at his desk and struck gold in a dream? Oh no, it was real, it better be real or he’d have some explaining to do when he woke up with stains on his trousers.

Ed didn’t know exactly what he was doing. He was driven by pure impulse. Craving the power he held over Roy last night, he wanted to make him squirm under his control. He needed to possess him. Reaching down, he unfastened Roy’s blue trousers, spit on his flesh hand, and slipped it between silky cloth and skin. He did his best to stroke Roy in the same fashion he employed on himself. He was rewarded with the Colonel struggling to stay upright.

“Put, put your mouth on me.” Moaning, Roy's eyes clenched shut. His body shuddered as Ed's palm sent sweet friction over his erection.

Ed obliged, remembering how good it felt on him last night. Lowering to his knees, he took in the Colonel’s length without a moment’s hesitation. He sucked and lapped at Mustang, meeting the rhythm of Roy’s hips with his mouth. His own erection ached painfully as he sensed the intense pleasure he inflicted on his stunning lover.

“Oh, that feels so good. You haven’t done this before, have you?” Roy's words spilled out between heavy breaths.

The question made Ed want to smile. He was doing something right for a change. As he felt the Colonel’s body grow tense and begin to shake, he realized what was about to happen. He stopped, unsure of how to handle the situation. Feeling Roy’s hand on the back of his head urging him forward, he figured he was supposed to take it in.

He hungrily took the Colonel's length back in, pumping it with his mouth, running his tongue along the bottom.

Roy felt his release come on strong. He wasn't about to let Ed stop again, so he pressed hard on his head. Roy drove forward, into that delicious mouth, letting his climax surge out of him.

Ed felt Roy's erection swell harder, just before it erupted into him. Ed lapped up the fluid and swallowed without thinking. Suddenly, he realized just how aroused this act made him. Slapping his hand to his groin, he palmed hard over his erection through his pants to catch his own sweet peak as it happened. He fell forward a little as pleasure rocked through him and hot fluid wet the inside of his boxers.

Lowering himself to Ed’s level, Roy peered into his face. Ed wore a funny look and Roy hoped he hadn’t pushed him too far. “Ed? Are you okay?”

Ed gazed back at him with a confused expression.

“Do you want me to do that to you now?” Roy hoped the offering would lessen the shock of what he’d just done. He saw Ed’s face flush and turn away. “What’s the matter?” Roy grew alarmed.

“I-I already . . . I just—" Sighing, he collected himself and started over. “It’s already done. I-I finished.” Ed was stunned, dazed, and a little embarrassed. How could he do that without any direct stimulation?

A faint chuckle came out of Roy as he placed his arm around Ed. “Wow, you really like doing that, huh? Well, that’s good for me.” He helped Ed to his feet and both men started to fix their rumpled appearance. Roy went to his desk, grabbed a tissue, and handed it to Ed.

"Thanks." Ed pushed the tissue inside his pants, cleaning his mess as best he could. He felt ridiculous.

As Roy fastened his buttons, he felt Ed’s hands brush over his own. A sudden deep feeling of affection washed over Roy as he realized Ed was buttoning his shirt for him. He gazed into the blonde’s face as he worked the buttons, noticing the determination and the radiance it held.

When Ed finished buttoning Roy’s jacket, he reached up on his tiptoes and gently straightened Roy’s hair. His gaze met Roy’s as he finished.

“You are amazing, you know that?” Roy bent down to place a tender kiss on Ed’s cheek.

When Ed heard the kind words, his heart melted, forcing him to look away. The Colonel had confidence in him, something he found hard to accept. What did the Colonel see in him that he couldn’t? He stood with his arms against his sides, gazing at the far wall, not really wanting the moment to end, but not knowing what to say to suspend it.

“Ed, I know it might sound sort of, well, sappy, but I’d like to take you to dinner tonight. If you’d let me.” He'd been trying to find an acceptable reason to spend more time with the young man and this seemed like a perfectly good way to do it.

Ed gasped. “You mean, like, a date?” He stared at the Colonel in disbelief. So, it wasn’t just a sexual thing the Colonel had for him then? What about all those rumors of the Colonel being a womanizer? Were they just a front for his real sexual orientation?

“Uh, I don’t know if I’d call it that.” The word "date" made Roy uneasy. How deep did this thing go between them? “Let’s just say I’d like to repay you for—"

“I don’t need any payment for what we did. I did it out of my own free will. You make it sound like I’m a damned prostitute or something!” Ed was furious, even surprising himself by the outburst.

Reaching out, Roy seized Ed’s arms. “No. No, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just that I - oh hell, I just want to spend more time with you, okay?” Roy grit his teeth.

Realizing he might have the upper hand in this situation, Ed smirked. “So, it is like a date then.”

“Shut up, just don’t call it that.” Roy was irritated. Wrenching himself away, he turned towards the door. He stopped with his hand on the lock. “Are you coming, or not?”

“Can we go to Papillon?” Ed was still smiling. He'd picked the most expensive restaurant he could think of.

Mustang’s heart shuddered. Why there? He let out a soft groan. “Yeah, okay,” he said, through his teeth. He waited in the doorway for Ed to join him so they could leave. They passed Riza's desk. "Send for my car, Lieutenant." Roy waved a hand at her.

"Yes, sir." Riza watched the spectacle of the Colonel walking the hallway side-by-side with Fullmetal. What the hell did they do in that office anyway? What she'd heard disturbed her. The muffled moans and banging around just didn’t seem right. Either they had a brawl or, no, she wouldn’t even go there. She did, however, take special note of how Ed’s face appeared when he looked up the Colonel - the sparkle in his eyes, the fresh glow on his face. No, it couldn’t be.

When Mustang and Edward reached the curb in front of Central's main headquarters, the air was a pleasant and cooling down from the day. The sun was still bright even though it hung low in the sky, lighting each side of the two vividly and casting shadows on the other side. Ed and Roy both climbed into the back seat of his car as the driver held the door open for them.

Ed had a difficult time suppressing his excitement. He was actually going out on a date, no, not a date, but something with Roy Mustang. Suddenly everything started to feel different, better, more appropriate. He felt happy for once. He was still smiling as he gazed out his window at the buildings and people racing by.

Feeling a hand cover his, he looked over at Roy, puzzled. He saw Roy put his index finger to his lips, motioning for him not to speak. The look in the Colonel’s eyes, was it? Could it be? His heart skipped a beat. What was happening to him? A foreign feeling invaded his body, nice, but a little scary.

The car pulled in front of Le Papillon, Central City’s finest French restaurant. The pair exited the car and walked up to the maitre’d, a thin, balding man in a dark suit. He stood behind a tall stand.

"Colonel Mustang, I'm so pleased to have you back. Would you like your regular table?"

Roy glanced at the ground for a moment. "Yes, of course."

The maitre'd grabbed two menus from the stand and proceeded to lead Roy and Ed through the dark restaurant and out onto the terrace. The air held hushed voiced and the delicious aroma of garlic and rosemary. "We've missed you and your friend. I hope he's well."

When they reached the table, Roy turned to the man. "Um, he passed, unfortunately."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. My condolences."

Ed was shocked, were they talking about Maes Hughes? Had Roy and Maes frequented this restaurant? Must be. Ed took a seat at a small round table with a white tablecloth draped over it.

"Thank you. He's sorely missed." Roy sat and took a menu as it was handed to him.

Ed took his menu and watched the man walk off. He leaned toward Roy. “So, did you used to come here with Maes Hughes?” He saw the Colonel’s face darken as the name was mentioned. Obviously it was still a sore subject.

Roy hid his face in his menu. “Yes, I did.” His voice wavered a little.

Ed wasn’t sure how far he should go with his questioning, but an idea was starting to solidify in his brain. “So, you and Maes were really close, huh?” He wished he could see the Colonel’s face. Then maybe he’d get the answers he really wanted.

“Yes.”

“Um, how close?” Ed winced. The words had come out before he had a chance to pick a better way to phrase his question. But maybe a direct approach was best. He noticed the menu in Roy’s hands start to shake a bit.

“I-I don’t, can’t talk about it . . . right now.”

The sound of a sniffle reached out across the table and smacked Ed across the face, making him want to reach out and grab Roy’s hand. But how would that look to the other patrons in the restaurant? He was at a loss as to how he could possibly comfort Roy when they were in a public place and he really, really wanted to.

His eyes darted around the restaurant, trying frantically to come up with something he could do. He calmed. Extending his flesh leg under the table, Ed rubbed it gently against Roy’s. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask you about it anymore.” Roy’s menu came down and Ed could see a shimmer in Roy’s eyes as a faint smile crossed his lips.

“It’s okay, Ed. Maybe some other time, huh?” Roy knew it would be difficult for him to come to this place again. But he’d figured maybe if he came here with Ed it would be easier somehow. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to disclose the full details regarding his relationship with Maes to Edward. Not yet anyhow.

Ed kept his legs in close contact with Mustangs under the table while they ate, talked, and drank red wine. He felt incredibly close to Roy after seeing his vulnerability. Gradually, a mixture of the atmosphere, company, and the wine lightened their conversation and the words flowed easily, interspersed with laughter. Ed had no idea the Colonel could be like this, so easy going and actually fun to talk to. Any semblance of his usual impenetrable ego had disappeared.

Every once in awhile, Roy caught Edward stealing a glance at him. His eyes held a purity and conviction Roy remembered he’d had before the Ishbalan war scarred him so badly. As they verbally explored each other in this place holding so many fond memories for him, Roy was brought back to happier times. Times when he’d come here with Maes Hughes, the man who was solely responsible for bringing him back to life when he’d been so desolate, when he’d wanted nothing more than to feel a bullet shatter his skull. And why was Ed being so attentive? Did the young man really care for him? He just hoped he was capable of returning whatever feelings Ed had for him. It’d been so long since anyone broke through his defenses and the only one previously to do it abandoned him in death.

It was almost ten o’clock and two bottles of wine later when the pair left the restaurant. The wine flowed freely through Ed’s body, intensifying already baffling emotions. He was getting anxious to get out of the public eye, yearning to be physically close to the Colonel again. He felt himself hardening just at the thought.

When they slid back into Roy’s car to head for home, Ed found himself craving the feel of the Colonel in his arms, in his hands. He looked over at Mustang, appearing lost in thought, gazing out the window, not paying any attention to him. Ed slid his body close to his lover and snuck his hand to Roy’s lap, searching for the treasure just under his zipper.

Gasping, Roy glanced up at his driver when he felt Ed’s hand on him, not sure at first what grabbed him. He quickly closed the partition in front of him, drew the curtains and shoved Ed onto his back across the seat. “Is that all you can think about now?” His voice was husky with sudden desire. He teased the Ed, putting his lips as close as he could without touching him. “We don’t have much time, unless I ask the driver to take the long way.” His eyes darted from Ed’s eyes to his mouth.

“Then, then do it.” Ed was panting. Since he’d gotten hard as soon as they left the restaurant, he already felt the need to grind into Roy’s hips.

Reaching up, Roy briefly broke the seal in the partition through the curtain. “Take the long way.”

“Yes, sir.”

As soon as Ed heard the partition close again, he let out a loud moan and ground his hips into Roy’s, feeling his erection rub against his lover's. His groin hummed. He put his arms around Roy, one reached up behind his head, pushing him down to meet his lips. His moans grew stronger as he quenched his thirst for man above him.

“Ed, shush, that partition won’t be enough to keep the driver from hearing you once you get going.” Roy was almost completely caught up in the feel of lips sucking and teeth gently biting at his neck. Mustang grinned as he thought about how timid Ed had been on his birthday and compared him to the near animal he’d turned into. He felt Ed pushing him to the side, against the seat back, and Ed's hand grope at his pants. He reached down and stopped him, for the moment. “No, Ed, its your turn.” He locked on to wild eyes.

Ed's attentions turned to his own belt, hands shaking, as he attempted to release it’s hold from his stomach. He was so aroused, he was afraid he’d loose control again before he’d get his pants open. It frustrated him. What was it about oral sex that initiated such a strong response in him?

A pre-climax pulse rushed through him as he absently brushed his length. He was close, too close. He suddenly recognized his intense response had something to do with submission and domination. He decided he’d better not think about it anymore or Roy would find a mess when he got his pants open.

Roy covered Ed's frantic hands with his own. “Ed, look at me.” Roy's voice was calm, reassuring. He sensed the predicament Ed faced. He waited for Ed’s motions to slow and his eyes to meet his.

Ed continued to focus on his belt, seeming more frustrated by the minute.

“Look, at, me.”

Ed finally did as Roy asked.

“Let me.” Roy moved Ed’s hands away, before unbuckling, unbuttoning, and unzipping Ed's pants with ease. He guided Ed further up the seat, so the upper part of his torso and head rested on the door. "Ed, lift your hips."

Ed lifted his hips, looking at Roy with a mixture of panic and lust.

Roy lowered Ed's pants and boxers. Taking one final look into Ed’s eyes, he slowly slipped his mouth over Ed's erection.

Ed clenched his teeth together but it wasn’t enough to stifle his sharp cries. His eyes squeezed shut and his hands turned into fists, trying to control the immediate and insistent surge threatening to overtake him. He felt the Colonel’s tongue slow and lightly flick on the underside of his erection, just under the lip. It was too much and Ed drove hard into Roy’s mouth as he surrendered, letting his climax surge forth, in a fury of delicious contractions. They seemed to go on and on, making his body jerk and stiffen with each one. Stuffing his flesh fist in his mouth, he bit to keep the driver from hearing them. When it finally slowed, he bent sideways to reach between the Colonel’s legs. “I want to do it to you now.” His voice was hoarse.

Roy licked his lips and ran the back of his hand across his mouth as he leaned over the spent youth. “Damn, Ed, you are really into that, aren’t you? I wish we had time for it, but we don’t. There’s always tomorrow, okay?” He chuckled.

Roy's words made him feel self-conscious. He pulled his pants back up and fastened everything. Sitting up in the seat, he glanced out the window. They were almost back to the dorm. His face showed his apprehension. “Roy?”

Mustang sat back on the seat next to him. “What? You look like something’s bothering you?” Wrapping an arm around Ed, Roy drew him in to his chest. He felt Edward’s head lean against his shoulder, his cheek rubbing against his jacket.

“I just, it’s okay, isn’t it? I mean, what we’re doing. It’s not, bad, is it?” He's just realized he’d be alone soon with his disapproving thoughts.

“No, it’s not bad. It may not be totally acceptable in some circles, but it’s certainly not bad.” Letting his fingers stroke lightly over Ed's hair, he thought. He was puzzled. What kind of a question was that? The car stopped and he heard the front door open. He drew Ed’s face to him with his empty hand and gave him one last lingering kiss. The door opened next to Ed, making Roy release him.

He watched Ed leave the car, glancing back and giving the Colonel a quick, unsure wave. Roy waved back, feeling a little silly. He grew concerned as he watched Ed push his hands into his front pockets, hang his head and amble to the building’s door.