Wicked Game

Chapter 4

Mental Warfare

The bed was soft and comforting after my ordeal in the bathtub. But she’d taken me so close before she cut me off, I was in physical pain. If only I didn’t have this box attached to my hands so I could release the tension in my groin. And then there was the emotional pain of realizing she would go through with something like that. Just when I’d started to think I could trust her, she'd changed on me. I didn’t understand what was happening to me or what purpose it served for her to torture me like this. Was she really just evil, a soulless being? Is that the only reason she behaved this way? Somehow, even though, or maybe because of the suffering she inflicted on me, I found myself spellbound by her.

I replayed the harsh words she’d spoken to me when I’d confronted her. I knew why I didn’t rebel against her game. I’d witnessed how gentle and vulnerable she could be and that was what kept me from attacking her.

I drew my knees in closer to my chest as I started to realize it was almost too late for anyone to rescue me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be saved anymore. I just wanted her here with me. I wanted to feel her warm embrace and her gentle kisses.

xxx

I woke up to the late afternoon sun shining through the window and the ringing of the telephone down below. How long had I been out? At least my stomach no longer bothered me. I heard Lust’s voice far off in the house. I wondered what she’d been doing and what, if anything, she thought of me.

I slowly rose from the bed and pushed myself up to standing. The towel fell away from my slender waist as I rose. Great, I thought, I had no way of rewrapping it now my hands were boxed.

I heard the amplitude of Lust’s voice rise and I realized I could hear her more clearly through the open window. I walked to the window and listened, straining to distinguish the words.

"--Damn-it, I can’t do that—" she sceamed. “--it has to stop, now. I mean it. It’s not worth it . . . ” There was a long pause before she continued. “--please, no . . . you don’t know, you can’t understand. he doesn’t deserve—" More silence. “I am not falling for him!”

I heard a crash underneath the floor.

I was shocked at the last comment. Was she talking about me? Was she really on my side, being forced to perform these things on me? Was she falling for me, the way I was falling for her? My mind raced as I lay back down on the bed and scanned the ceiling, looking for the familiar cracks. I realized I needed to do something to force her hand, but what?

I heard her footsteps stomping in the stairway

A few seconds later, the door flew open and she stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, looking furious. “Get up.”

I started to creep over the bed, weary of what she’d been told to do to me and not sure how to cover himself.

“I said, get, up!”

I reached for the towel, not sure how I'd even pick it up.

“I don’t care if you’re naked, just get up, now!”

I quickly stood. “L-Lust, what happened? What’s going on?” My voice was shaking. I was truly afraid.

She stomped into the room and untied my chain from the bed. She wrapped it around her wrist a few times, making its length only a few feet long. As she started striding toward the door, she tugged at the chain attached to my neck.

I struggled to stay on my feet as the chain tightened and jerked me. “Lust, talk to me, please, I’m begging you, please." My voice whined.

She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to face me. Her eyes expressed misery.

I thought I could see tears in them.

Her face relaxed as she gazed at me.

“Just a minute.” Suddenly, she let out the chain from her wrist and left me. When she returned, she held the towel in her hand. As she wrapped it around my midsection and secured it, she delicately touched my skin.

At that moment, I wanted to grab her and hold her, but I wasn’t sure which Lust would surface. I brushed my flesh forearm over hers, gently moving it back and forth in an effort to show my gratitude. When I saw her flinch, I yanked it away, fearing retribution.

She faced me and pressed her body against my front. “You want to touch me, Edward?” Reaching down to the box, she pulled my wounded hand out and placed it squarely on her breast, looking directly into my eyes. There was the cold look again.

I didn’t want to touch her that way. I wanted to console her somehow. I jerked my hand away, keeping my eyes locked to hers, searching for something.

“Figures. Greed is right, nobody really wants to touch me.” Her voice held sadness. She turned back around, starting for the stairs.

I sensed the chain tighten again before she yanked me down the stairs behind her. I felt sympathy for her and I wanted to show her that Greed wasn’t right. When we reached the bottom of the stairwell, I steadied my footing, grabbed the chain with my freed hand, and tugged backward, causing her to step back into my arms. I wrapped himself around her, holding her tight from behind. Plunging my face into her hair, I could smell her sweet fragrance. My heart skipped a beat when I felt her push up against me. “Lust, I want to touch you. I want to hold you. I want to be there for you. Please let me.”

She let out a soft sigh and tilted her head back, brushing her cheek against mine.

I closed my eyes. She was giving in to me at last. It felt so good.

Suddenly, her body grew rigid. “It’ll never happen, Edward, you have to beg,” she whispered, beginning a struggle to break free from my arms.

I tightened my grip on her, heartbroken by her response. “Stop it, Lust. You don’t have to do this.”

“You have no idea who I am, what I’ve been through. Who do you think you are that you dare say those things to me?” she shoved and thrashed hard against me.

“That’s not fair. You made me feel this way. You made me want you, need you . . . " My voice was trembling. I had a terrible time controlling myself. I knew I’d almost had her. I’d almost broken through her defenses.

“No!” She broke free of my hold. Stepping forward, she yanked downward on the chain around my neck, jerking me to all fours on the floor. “You must obey me now. Don’t you dare think for one second that I wouldn’t kill you to get what I want.” Her voice was low and threatening, but wavered.

“Then kill me. I don’t care anymore."

Her eyes were wide with shock. She hesitated for a moment, seeming to think something through, almost letting her guard down again. The menacing demeanor returned. “Stand up.” She yanked the chain back up.

The chain cut into my throat, making me cough. Slowly, I climbed back onto my feet.

She took a step toward me and pushed my flesh hand back into the box.

I tilted my head forward. I couldn't look at her.

She cupped a hand on my chin to pull my head back so she could see my face, but I twisted away. “You’re not behaving. Look at me.”

My head turned and as my eyes met hers, she gasped. I was wounded, broken, but hope was still in me. The longer I looked at her, the more I thought I saw the vulnerable, gentle Lust return. In a heartbeat, she changed.

“Hmph.” She turned around and headed for the kitchen, tugging me along.

“Lay down on the table.” She stepped to me, planted her hand on my chest, and shoved me backward.

I stumbled backward and felt the hard wooden table hit me in the behind. I looked up at her, questioning her motives.

“You heard me, lay down on the table.”

I climbed backwards onto the smooth surface, still facing her. The cold calculating Lust had returned. I could see the empty expression in her eyes. My mind raced. How could I get back the woman I’d wanted?

I lowered onto the table. When the frigid surface met my skin, I felt a shiver run through me. I stretched my legs out. They hung over the edge, bent at the knees. My hands were placed on my stomach, still inside the box. My long blond hair pooled off the perimeter of the table.

“Oh, that looks good, Edward. Quite appetizing, actually.” She grabbed the box and pulled my flesh hand out of it. Placing my hands out to my sides, she stretched them out over the table. She unwrapped the chain from around her arm and looped it around my flesh wrist, then ran it under the table and up the other side to loop it around my metal wrist. She ran it under the table once again, and attached it to my ankles. She made sure all four points were snug, so my movement was restricted. “Tonight, dinner is on you.” She clapped her hands together as if delighted.

“Wh-what do you mean? What are you going to do?” I feared the answer.

She turned to the stove and opened a lid from one of the pots sitting on a burner and returned back to me. “What should we start with first, dessert, or the main course?”

“Don’t. Please, don’t do this to me.” I tried to lift my head to see what was in the container.

“Oh, but now that you’re clean, you’ll make the perfect plate. Well, if you won’t choose, I will.” She went to the pot and spooned out a large helping of mashed potatoes into a bowl.

While she spread the mixture on my abdomen and chest, I could only lie there and watch. It was warm and smelled delicious. I could feel my hunger as I breathed in the creamy fare below me.

Her head lowered over my chest and I felt her tongue lapping up the mixture. It tickled. At the same time, it caused my senses to ignite. Her head moved over to my nipples and her tongue expertly licked at them, sending sweet chills down my spine. I felt myself harden and clenched my fists before a sharp moan escaped me.

“Oh, Edward, are you hungry too?” She licked a mouthful of potatoes off my stomach and moved to hover over my face. Pressing her lips to mine, she prodded my mouth open with her tongue and pushed the substance into me.

I quickly surrendered. I was famished and the food tasted good. I became engrossed in the sensation of her lips and tongue on my body, truly enjoying the feel of her for the first time. After the potatoes were gone, she spread a thick stew on me, lapping and sucking at sensitive parts of my skin and feeding me with her mouth. Every time she compressed her lips against mine, I pushed my head up to meet them, attempting to steel kisses from her.

“My, you are a hungry boy, aren’t you? I had no idea you’d like this so much, well maybe I did.” She left my side, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out a container. She hesitated for a moment with her back to me, placing her hands on her hips, and let her head fall back, taking in a deep breath. Suddenly, she straightened and brought the container to the table, set it down, and slowly unfastened the towel covering my lower half. She placed the ends of the towel beside me.

I was trembling, horribly exposed and aroused, open to her wishes. “What is that? What are you doing now?” My breathing was heavy, making my chest visibly rise and fall. If she touched my erection, I’d explode. I’d been through too much not to be satisfied this time. My groin ached as I contemplated what she might do to me.

“You’ll see,” she said quietly, still a bit adrift in thought. She looked at my face.

I studied her. Eager to accept everything she had to offer me. She spooned a white substance below my waste, everywhere except where I required it.

She seemed careful, as if she recognized how effortless it would be for me loose control. Bending over me, she licked at my thighs, spreading them apart to get into the seams of my body.

Feeling her mouth so near to where I’d needed it, I bucked and cried out with pleasure. I shut my eyes and tilted my head back, my chest rising off the table. My moans were loud and urgent. Her cheek brushed against my erection, almost sending me into hysterics. “P-please, Lust, do it, suck me, please, I-I can’t take this.” I twisted and thrust as best I could in the chains, trying to position myself where I wanted her.

She lifted her head from me, licking her lips. “Do you want more?”

“Yes, oh, yes, please.” My body still moved as if her mouth and tongue were still on me.

She dipped her index finger into the container, scooping the substance onto it and slid it into my mouth while her head descended onto me again. The substance was sweet. I recognized it to be whipped cream. My mouth licked and sucked her finger while her tongue devoured the remaining cream in my groin, coiling my tension, rushing delicious sensations all through my body.

When it was fully consumed, she lifted her head up and pulled her finger away. Turning away from me, she began to position the container back in the refrigerator. She was casual, like nothing at all had happened between us.

I was stunned and feeling incredibly frustrated. “Lust, you’re not done, right? I mean, I begged." She couldn’t just abandon me like this again. It was too brutal. As I watched her stand at the counter, staring blankly at me, tears filled my eyes. The now familiar nausea filled my stomach.

“Yes, you begged. But you weren’t very specific. If you wanted me to do something specific, you have to say so,” she said, as if it were completely obvious.

Her answer enraged me. I fought at the chains binding me. “Damn-it, Lust, you can’t do this, you’re changing the rules, you knew exactly what I begged for.” My voice was a growl. The chains slapped furiously at the table, leaving indentations where they’d made contact. At least the energy I expended into the struggle with the chains helped unleash some of the tension plaguing me.

She stood over me, chuckling. “Oh no, since the game and the rules are mine, I can bend them however I want. Now, stop thrashing about so I can put you to bed. Otherwise, I’ll have to leave you here like this tonight.” She had her arms crossed over her chest as she waited.

After a few minutes, my fit calmed and I lay defeated on the table surface. She carefully rewrapped the towel around me and unfastened my legs, hesitating briefly, as if testing to be sure I wouldn’t start up again. When I didn't move, she unfastened my arms and placed both hands back inside the box. The end of the chain was once again around her wrist, binding us together.

I kept my face hidden. I grappled with a mixture of anger, frustration, and emotional pain. I knew I had no choice but to allow her to do her job. Suddenly, I realized there might be a way to recover the woman who was tender and compassionate with me. I sat up on the edge of the table. “I know you don’t want to hurt me, Lust. I know someone is making you do these terrible things. It’s okay, I understand. It’s something you have to do. I can tolerate it. You want to know why I can tolerate it?” I didn't expect an answer, seeing the words affecting her already.

She winced and kept silent.

I could see her mind at work behind her expression, her eyes.

She turned her back to me.

“I can tolerate it because I know who you really are. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the real Lust, the one that’s kind and gentle and feeling. I know you can’t treat me like this forever. At some point, you’ll see what’s happening between us is much more than a game.”

She turned to face me. “Shut up!” Her voice faltered as tears glistened in her eyes. Holding her hands up to her face, she fell to her knees.

I jumped off the table, making the chain clink on the floor. Surrounding her from above with my arms, I drew her backward, resting my cheek on the back of her shoulder. I’d crawl inside her if I could and rip out the agony that kept her committed to her cause.

I felt her fall into me as she wept in my arms. She was finally let me in, if only for a moment. “Lust, please let me have you. Let me give you what you need.”

“And how would you do that? You have no idea what you’re asking. I’m not human.” She began to struggle to get out of my grasp. "No one would want me. Greed said so."

My hold tightened. There was no way I'd let her go.

“Ed, stop it. Let go of me. You don’t want me. Your just tricking me, just like Greed told me you would.” She fell silent and quit fighting me.

“No, that’s not true. Why would I tell you that?” When I realized the full extent of what they’d been driving into her, I understood she was the one who was being tortured. I loosened my grip so I could scoot around to face her and drew her against my chest. “I’m not letting you go. Not until you understand that I do want you. I do need you. I—" I stopped short of saying it, feeling my own tears run hot down my cheeks. I realized I did love her, just as Scar and his brother had. Why did it hurt so much? I released a sob into her shoulder and pulled her even tighter.

“Ed . . . ” she said, softly, seeming to calm. “Don’t do this, not for me. I’m not worth it.” She put her hands on either side of my face and pulled my head back, pressing her lips into mine.

My eyes flew open when she kissed me, not believing what my body knew was true and still processing her last words. I pressed into her kiss, parting my lips to let my tongue explore her mouth. Feeling her soft body pressing against mine and her arms holding me, my aching groin was set ablaze. I eagerly devoured her and attempted to push her back onto the floor. After all I'd been put through, a simple kiss was not enough. I felt my body trembling, needing to liberate all that had been trapped inside it.

“No, Ed, not now.” She tried to push herself away from me.

“Why not now?” My voice shook as I chased her mouth with mine. I couldn’t believe I was being denied again, not after all I’d said to her and how she’d finally opened up to me.

“You didn’t beg.”

I halted all my movement and stared at her in disbelief. She can't be serious, I thought. I cautiously leaned towards her, but she pushed me away again.

“You heard me, you didn’t beg.” Her gaze locked on to my eyes, uncaring and cold.

I was stunned. Words were not within my reach. I fumbled, looking around the room, trying to think of what I could say, understanding that with each second the moment faded and she grew more distant from me.

She removed herself from my grasp and slowly got into a position to stand.

“No, Lust, you can’t. You can’t turn on me now.” As she stood, I rose up on my knees and fell into her legs, burrowing my face into her thighs, clutching her dress. “Lust, please, kiss me, come back to me. Please, hold me. You are worth it. You are worth it.” My voice shook with each word. It was a desperate attempt to make her change her disposition.

She shoved me off her and stepped away from me.

I fell forward, my chest descending onto my thighs. My system was so overloaded, I could only feel numb, lying curled up on the floor in front of her.

Suddenly, she reached her hands up to cover her ears and raced out the door.

Lust

I ran out into the yard, leaving him alone for a moment. Still, the chain was taught between us. There was no place else I could run to.

I began to pace, the chain only allowing a few steps in each direction. But I had to think. I'd had to shut him out. If I listened and believed everything he said, then my strange life up to this point was a lie. I wasn’t supposed to be feeling these things. I'm human, yet. I'm not supposed to have a soul, but he made me question that.

I’d been told I was evil all my life, hadn't I? But I knew that wasn't true. Still, if that wasn’t true, what other falsehoods had been beaten into my mind? What am I, really? Why did I have these haunting images of a former life? Why did I hang on to the same dreams as that other woman, of being loved and accepted, of having a family? I thought the dreams would only come true if I was human. Was it possible to have what I wanted now? My reality threatened to crash down around me and it was because of him. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to be engrossed in each other like this. I had to phone Greed. He'd know what to do.

I stopped my pacing and calmed. I had a plan. I strode back into the house. Now I could face him again.

Edward

After coming to stand before me. Lust found her strength and wrapped the chain around her wrist, making it taught against my neck. She gave it a robust tug, jerking me by the neck while I lay still dormant on the floor. “Come on, you need to go back to bed.”

I slowly rose to my feet, dejected and broken, until I stood in front of her, my head hung low, my golden hair falling around my face and shoulders like a mane. The towel clung to my body like something discarded, my hands constrained by the small wooden box attached to lifeless limbs.

Her breath hitched while she studied me for a moment. She seemed to be waging an internal battle. But, her face went cold. “Come on, let’s go.” She proceeded to the stairs.

I obediently followed her lead, hypnotized by her movement, like some empty husk. A thought occurred to me, making me almost grin - maybe now I’m soul-less, did she take my soul?

I followed her up the stairs, through the hallway, and into my room. I fell to the bed and curled back up while she fastened the chains back to the bedpost. I couldn’t look at her. if I did, the rest of what was left of me might disappear too.

She quickly fastened the chains, as if she couldn't remove herself from me fast enough. Before she exited the room, she closed the door, letting out a heavy sigh, and pressed her forehead against the planks of wood for a moment.

I almost thought she would come back to me, reconnect what had been broken between us.

Suddenly, she stepped back and slammed the door open. It smacked hard against the wall. She almost stumbled, then recovered, and slammed the door shut again after runnng out of the room.

I lay in the bed, somewhere between sleep and consciousness. I heard her muffled footsteps down below, somewhere in the house. I thought about moving my limbs, about changing position, but it required too much effort. At least the aching I felt in my body meant I was still alive, I hadn’t just disappeared. If I moved and relieved the pain in my side and limbs, wouldn’t it expose the aching in my heart anyway?

I heard her voice in the distance. She must be on the phone with Greed, I supposed. I listened to the familiar tone and rhythm of it. I didn’t care what she was saying. I’d do whatever she wanted. They'd won. I'd resolved to do whatever they required to force her to realize she was loved, loveable. The feeling of her, the taste of her consumed me. I was nothing without her.

I must have dozed off. Silence filled the house. If I tilted my head, I knew I’d be able to see the moon glowing outside the window. That same moon, whose beams caressed her skin only last night. I felt fleeting jealousy. The moon could touch her, caress her skin, and I couldn’t. She’d found so much joy in its embrace and only heartache in mine. I briefly wondered where my brother was. Were they looking for me?

I turned my head into the sheet and felt a sharp pain scream through my neck. I reminded myself, I shouldn’t move. If they found me, I would hide. I would protect her. I would save her. Then maybe she’d see, maybe she’d know how she possessed me.